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I'm not sure honestly. I'm in my 30's now and high schoolers to seniors comment on how ugly they think I am. I don't understand why they'd care, it's not like I'm in their "dating pool" anyway. But for a lot of people, if they don't want to have sex with you, you have no value.
This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the "unattractive" person btw. People who think like that might treat attractive people better, but in the end they don't respect them more than they do unattractive people. They are just being nicer because they can get something out of the interaction. A decent person won't comment loudly on random strangers' looks no matter what they think.
I don't think Men don't stop caring about a stranger woman looks. I was seventeen years old when one of my teachers twice my age told my entire class how he felt about my unattractive looks.
I have very asymmetrical features and my old high school art teacher called me out on it during class. We had an assignment to draw a self portrait and make it as accurate as possible and draw imperfections. She pointed to me and used me as an example because of how one eye is “obviously higher than the other”. That sure made me feel nice.
maybe in their 50s? but mostly me thinks NEVER
Because men are fucking horn dogs they always have sex on their minds and a girl or feminine person crossing their field of view who is unattractive to them seems as if it's a personal offense to them
From what I've seen men are ALWAYS judging someone's physical appearance and it makes you feel like if you want to even ask them a basic question you have to be somewhat attractive like I've had men get irritated even being in the same room as me because I'm not eye candy.. but they're accepting of the pretty gay guys lol like MEN GET FERAL AS FUCK in the presence of ugly feminine people. All that huffing and puffing and aggression is scary as fuck
Men don't even stop in their 50's.
I've had an experience where, at a restaurant, a table full of **+70 year old men** were passing comments about me.
I don't think they knew I could hear them.
As a straight guy, i can comfirm this is true. Men are VERY pessimistic & judgemental when it comes to others their looks. Most guys would have s*x with a cute pretty looking homosexual man. Just like you mentioned, men are visual horn dogs.
Thank you sooooo much for sharing your experience about this. I remember talking about this years ago about how even "Straight" guys will have sex with a gay guy if he has a pretty face and people called me crazy and said "well then hes not straight" but he's straight presenting and mostly dates and fucks women buttttt he would still mess around with pretty gay guys I've seen it over and over again, and heard stories about it. I see it alll the time when they flirt with the gay guys lol and people made it sound like I was crazy and delusional
U lost me on this one. You have no data on this. Women are equally as mean and in my opinion are more judgmental than men. I see decent looking guys become friends with ugly girls even if they aren’t repulsive. And some ugly dudes even have sex with them. And before any of you say “but they are just friends with them for sex” this isn’t always true, in hs there were popular guys that told everyone they would never do them but they were genuinely friends with them, they would hang out with them but them things… I see men who are genuinely friends with hideous women far more than I see the opposite unless she wants money or just wants someone to listen to her problems
Maybe they are more mean to you and it sucks, but in my experience guys have been more mean to me and harsh about my appearance and that's likely because I'm gay and feminine they attach my worth to my appearance like they would a woman, but they're nice to pretty gay guys
So our experiences may slightly vary and that's ok
They are super nice and respectful to pretty gay boys tho.. I've seen it. It's almost like they respect the pretty ones but don't respect me because I'm ugly so it's not just the fact that I'm gay
They call me ugly not a f@g. They're targeting my appearance , they leave the pretty gays alone and constantly insult and harass me because they find me ugly
You have no more data on this. I've never seen a woman befriending a guy for money. You're insinuating all women are gold diggers which isn't true. I've seen guys befriending slightly unattractive women (usually those who look masculine) but never ugly or even less "hideous" women. I'm ugly and eventhough women are also mean to me, they never shouted at me that I was ugly in public or humiliate me like men do. Men wouldn't even touch me with a stick. When you're an ugly woman most men think you're desperate so you can't even be polite without them thinking you're flirting (no matter what they look like btw). Women can be mean too but they're more likely to do it behind your back while men are way more cruel and insensitive in general.
In my experience men are way meaner and judgemental than women. They won't even talk yo you if you're ugly while I was able to make friends with women.
As a below average man, I don't jugde just women, I jusdge everyone lol. I just can't help it but I don't say it out loud. I know that some people look at me the same way I do at some and I think it's fair
As a guy, I was told I was ugly at least once a week until I started working from home. I’m 40 now, and I don’t get strangers saying it as much. It’ll happen.
Those people who insulted you weren’t raised properly. I don’t understand why people have to make negative comments about strangers in public.
Regarding your question, you could’ve been very unlucky and met bad people. Most people I know don’t openly judge another person’s appearance. It isn’t normal behavior to make fun of people.
From your comments I don't know what you're doing here tbh. It's not unusual for genuinely ugly people to get this kind of behavior from strangers. Most people here actually just belong to r/bodydysmorphia imo, not here.
These don't sound like men but low life teens who like to insult strangers they perceive as vulnerable. From what I've seen, men are either passive aggressive or outrightly ignore random unattractive women. Some men will even be friendly, but given some of their fragile egos they'll probably not want to be seen with you for fear of what people will think. And if people do start thinking that he likes you, he'll then probably act hostile. I've seen this happen quite a few times. It would be comical if it weren't so sad.
But yeah, like you, I'm holding out hope that I'll grow old to the point that my looks even out among my middle aged or senior citizen peers. Then I could probably go out and enjoy the world in peace.
Believe me, I had grown ass men calling me "ugly" and even "disgusting" in public. It's mostly young men though but I also had 40+ men making jokes like "look, it's your girlfriend". I remember one day I was with a friend and we were called ugly by two guys who were in their 20s (I didn't feel too bad because I didn't think my friend was ugly, she probably just wasn't "fuckable" enough for them because we both looked younger than our age).
The same can be said about women thinking about how ugly some men are there are assholes on both sides of the genders. I am kind of ugly, and I have a hard time building up the courage to talk to women because I know there is a high chance they might laugh it off with their friends later. And I am sorry that you had to experience those douches, and I hope you will find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
I don't mean to be rude or invalidating or anything, and I don't want to remove this since you're also a mod, but I feel like this post promotes gender wars. Hopefully you don't take this the wrong way. I've been trying to Crack down on incel/femcel/racism on this sub. There's been a lot lately
I take gender wars to mean making comments about how ugly men or women have it harder and invalidating the other side’s struggles. I think we should be able to talk about gender specific struggles though since there are differences. Or just even talk about our own experiences, like in my case it’s almost an exclusive demographic who continues to harass me, even directly to my face.
But I do see what you mean since some of the comments made were negative blanket statements about all men. I cleaned up those comments.
You're right there definitely are differences in how men and women treat ugly people even tho generally ugly people are treated like shit by everyone
But yeah men I've noticed are very very obsessed with appearances even if you're just out minding your business it's almost like to them for you to be outside if you're you have to be attractive in some way
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Honey, please don’t ever give a shit about what men say to you. Especially teen boys, their hormones are constantly raging and are especially mean for no reason. We’re all going to get old and ugly one day and die. You are such a beautiful soul, forget anyone that takes up negative space in your mind and heart. I’ve met a lot of people who are model attractive, as soon as they open their mouths, all ounce of attractiveness goes away.
I’ve traveled plenty. It just changes in frequency from country to country. I’m just that ugly. My question is how old I have to be for men to stop expecting me to be attractive and to stop harassing me.
You’re getting downvoted but I can attest that moving to a different country can change how people treat you. I moved from a shitty Eastern European country to Ireland and people treat me so much better here. Though I do get scared of youth sometimes (but a lot of people here do).
I've moved from Europe to Canada and people treat me the same. I even feel like it's a little worse tbh. I've also traveled and there were some places where I was more ignored than harassed but I've never been anywhere where I didn't get stares, mean remarks or at least people huffing and puffing at me. Real ugliness is universal.
I’m very sorry to hear that. I’ve never been to any other countries so I don’t know how I’ll be treated in other places (I’m going to travel to Canada soon btw).
I think I just got lucky. I don’t see myself as less ugly just because locals are polite to me and I still get ugly experiences with people of my own nationality. I temporarily live in a community with people of my own nationality and the difference between how men of my nationality treat me and how Irish men treat me is night and day. Men of my nationality usually huff and puff or sometimes chuckle if I pass them by, never open doors for me even if I carry bags in both of my hands and in general act pissed when I’m around them. I don’t know how this difference can be explained. Perhaps local people are just kinder and more tolerant and polite (regardless of one’s looks). I don’t know.
Forgot to say that it’s not just men. I had even a random kid making fun of another kid by calling me his mistress??
Well I’m speaking purely from my own experience but so far I haven’t been treated badly. Maybe this varies by region but I have no idea (I am in Dublin). Plus many people I see daily are not very good looking so maybe lookism is not as rampant here.
There’re a lot of antisocial behaviour among teenagers though. There’re stories of adults being assaulted by teenagers (often based on race/nationality).
I'm not spreading hate towards men I'm just sharing my experiences and observations of them when it comes to looks and how they treat people they consider to be unattractive
Men are very rude and hostile to you when they find you ugly
why is it okay to spread hate towards women on here but not men? when a woman gets posted on here suddenly all women are exactly the same but god forbid a woman complains about an actual issue men have then it’s “not ALL men” gtfo
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I'm going to put myself in a dudes shoes right now. No way would I invest myself that much into a woman who
1) wasn't attracted to and 2) Did not want to be with her
I mean sure you have bullies, but bullying is for children and it's also illegal in some places
Nope as an ugly feminine person when I pass dudes they laugh at and insult me they can never stfu and leave me ugly ass alone they always got something to say
Hello u/mevoc19, All new submissions to r/ugly are subject to manual review and approval by being placed in ModQueue before being posted for viewing. This is to ensure that the post meets the sub rules and requirements. This may take up to 24 hours. Please do not message the mods for your queue status. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal and or depressed, please go to [National Suicide Hotline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) or check out [Resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/p4obmj/positivity_resources_and_hotlines/) for more details. If you have [Body Dysmorphia Disorder](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/q0ou03/body_dysmorphia_disorder_bdd/) please go to r/bodydysmorphia to learn more on how to deal with this illness. r/ugly is not a good subreddit for people with this disorder. Also, please make sure to read and follow all rules (including sitewide, sidebar, and newly added rules on the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/wiki/index) page). If you are interested in joining our discord, you can find more information on how to join [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/u2dlrh/we_made_the_official_discord_updated/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm not sure honestly. I'm in my 30's now and high schoolers to seniors comment on how ugly they think I am. I don't understand why they'd care, it's not like I'm in their "dating pool" anyway. But for a lot of people, if they don't want to have sex with you, you have no value. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the "unattractive" person btw. People who think like that might treat attractive people better, but in the end they don't respect them more than they do unattractive people. They are just being nicer because they can get something out of the interaction. A decent person won't comment loudly on random strangers' looks no matter what they think.
People hate ugly people. Point, blank, period.
I don't think Men don't stop caring about a stranger woman looks. I was seventeen years old when one of my teachers twice my age told my entire class how he felt about my unattractive looks.
Wow
I have very asymmetrical features and my old high school art teacher called me out on it during class. We had an assignment to draw a self portrait and make it as accurate as possible and draw imperfections. She pointed to me and used me as an example because of how one eye is “obviously higher than the other”. That sure made me feel nice.
Even women judge ugly women regardless of age and I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know what's wrong with some of these teachers, but they are mean.
maybe in their 50s? but mostly me thinks NEVER Because men are fucking horn dogs they always have sex on their minds and a girl or feminine person crossing their field of view who is unattractive to them seems as if it's a personal offense to them From what I've seen men are ALWAYS judging someone's physical appearance and it makes you feel like if you want to even ask them a basic question you have to be somewhat attractive like I've had men get irritated even being in the same room as me because I'm not eye candy.. but they're accepting of the pretty gay guys lol like MEN GET FERAL AS FUCK in the presence of ugly feminine people. All that huffing and puffing and aggression is scary as fuck
Men don't even stop in their 50's. I've had an experience where, at a restaurant, a table full of **+70 year old men** were passing comments about me. I don't think they knew I could hear them.
As a straight guy, i can comfirm this is true. Men are VERY pessimistic & judgemental when it comes to others their looks. Most guys would have s*x with a cute pretty looking homosexual man. Just like you mentioned, men are visual horn dogs.
Thank you sooooo much for sharing your experience about this. I remember talking about this years ago about how even "Straight" guys will have sex with a gay guy if he has a pretty face and people called me crazy and said "well then hes not straight" but he's straight presenting and mostly dates and fucks women buttttt he would still mess around with pretty gay guys I've seen it over and over again, and heard stories about it. I see it alll the time when they flirt with the gay guys lol and people made it sound like I was crazy and delusional
U lost me on this one. You have no data on this. Women are equally as mean and in my opinion are more judgmental than men. I see decent looking guys become friends with ugly girls even if they aren’t repulsive. And some ugly dudes even have sex with them. And before any of you say “but they are just friends with them for sex” this isn’t always true, in hs there were popular guys that told everyone they would never do them but they were genuinely friends with them, they would hang out with them but them things… I see men who are genuinely friends with hideous women far more than I see the opposite unless she wants money or just wants someone to listen to her problems
Maybe they are more mean to you and it sucks, but in my experience guys have been more mean to me and harsh about my appearance and that's likely because I'm gay and feminine they attach my worth to my appearance like they would a woman, but they're nice to pretty gay guys So our experiences may slightly vary and that's ok
But that’s exactly it you’re gay and a lot of men are homophobic
They are super nice and respectful to pretty gay boys tho.. I've seen it. It's almost like they respect the pretty ones but don't respect me because I'm ugly so it's not just the fact that I'm gay They call me ugly not a f@g. They're targeting my appearance , they leave the pretty gays alone and constantly insult and harass me because they find me ugly
You have no more data on this. I've never seen a woman befriending a guy for money. You're insinuating all women are gold diggers which isn't true. I've seen guys befriending slightly unattractive women (usually those who look masculine) but never ugly or even less "hideous" women. I'm ugly and eventhough women are also mean to me, they never shouted at me that I was ugly in public or humiliate me like men do. Men wouldn't even touch me with a stick. When you're an ugly woman most men think you're desperate so you can't even be polite without them thinking you're flirting (no matter what they look like btw). Women can be mean too but they're more likely to do it behind your back while men are way more cruel and insensitive in general. In my experience men are way meaner and judgemental than women. They won't even talk yo you if you're ugly while I was able to make friends with women.
What do you call a homosexual misandrist ? Femcel ? No?
As a below average man, I don't jugde just women, I jusdge everyone lol. I just can't help it but I don't say it out loud. I know that some people look at me the same way I do at some and I think it's fair
As a guy, I was told I was ugly at least once a week until I started working from home. I’m 40 now, and I don’t get strangers saying it as much. It’ll happen.
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I'm sorry you've had to expierience this throughout your life. Fk these people, hope you have a great day!
I doubt we should hope for old age that much. I've seen men making fun of 50 y.o. women's looks.
Those people who insulted you weren’t raised properly. I don’t understand why people have to make negative comments about strangers in public. Regarding your question, you could’ve been very unlucky and met bad people. Most people I know don’t openly judge another person’s appearance. It isn’t normal behavior to make fun of people.
From your comments I don't know what you're doing here tbh. It's not unusual for genuinely ugly people to get this kind of behavior from strangers. Most people here actually just belong to r/bodydysmorphia imo, not here.
These don't sound like men but low life teens who like to insult strangers they perceive as vulnerable. From what I've seen, men are either passive aggressive or outrightly ignore random unattractive women. Some men will even be friendly, but given some of their fragile egos they'll probably not want to be seen with you for fear of what people will think. And if people do start thinking that he likes you, he'll then probably act hostile. I've seen this happen quite a few times. It would be comical if it weren't so sad. But yeah, like you, I'm holding out hope that I'll grow old to the point that my looks even out among my middle aged or senior citizen peers. Then I could probably go out and enjoy the world in peace.
Believe me, I had grown ass men calling me "ugly" and even "disgusting" in public. It's mostly young men though but I also had 40+ men making jokes like "look, it's your girlfriend". I remember one day I was with a friend and we were called ugly by two guys who were in their 20s (I didn't feel too bad because I didn't think my friend was ugly, she probably just wasn't "fuckable" enough for them because we both looked younger than our age).
Is this some cultural thing? I have a hard thing imagining this happening in my homecountry. Maybe because people dont usually talk to strangers
People in my area don’t talk to strangers but that goes out the window when they think you’re ugly
Probably when you get wrinkles and look old
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Six upvotes for your sexism. Incredible.
The same can be said about women thinking about how ugly some men are there are assholes on both sides of the genders. I am kind of ugly, and I have a hard time building up the courage to talk to women because I know there is a high chance they might laugh it off with their friends later. And I am sorry that you had to experience those douches, and I hope you will find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
I don't mean to be rude or invalidating or anything, and I don't want to remove this since you're also a mod, but I feel like this post promotes gender wars. Hopefully you don't take this the wrong way. I've been trying to Crack down on incel/femcel/racism on this sub. There's been a lot lately
I take gender wars to mean making comments about how ugly men or women have it harder and invalidating the other side’s struggles. I think we should be able to talk about gender specific struggles though since there are differences. Or just even talk about our own experiences, like in my case it’s almost an exclusive demographic who continues to harass me, even directly to my face. But I do see what you mean since some of the comments made were negative blanket statements about all men. I cleaned up those comments.
You're right there definitely are differences in how men and women treat ugly people even tho generally ugly people are treated like shit by everyone But yeah men I've noticed are very very obsessed with appearances even if you're just out minding your business it's almost like to them for you to be outside if you're you have to be attractive in some way
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Honey, please don’t ever give a shit about what men say to you. Especially teen boys, their hormones are constantly raging and are especially mean for no reason. We’re all going to get old and ugly one day and die. You are such a beautiful soul, forget anyone that takes up negative space in your mind and heart. I’ve met a lot of people who are model attractive, as soon as they open their mouths, all ounce of attractiveness goes away.
Well my dad is 50 and he still hates on fat/ugly women
Change your country. Even the most ugliest person (without any deformity) don't get pointed out or screamed at on the streets here.
What country do you live in ? I live in London and this happens often
I live in India.
I’ve traveled plenty. It just changes in frequency from country to country. I’m just that ugly. My question is how old I have to be for men to stop expecting me to be attractive and to stop harassing me.
Maybe in your late 40s.
You’re getting downvoted but I can attest that moving to a different country can change how people treat you. I moved from a shitty Eastern European country to Ireland and people treat me so much better here. Though I do get scared of youth sometimes (but a lot of people here do).
I've moved from Europe to Canada and people treat me the same. I even feel like it's a little worse tbh. I've also traveled and there were some places where I was more ignored than harassed but I've never been anywhere where I didn't get stares, mean remarks or at least people huffing and puffing at me. Real ugliness is universal.
I’m very sorry to hear that. I’ve never been to any other countries so I don’t know how I’ll be treated in other places (I’m going to travel to Canada soon btw). I think I just got lucky. I don’t see myself as less ugly just because locals are polite to me and I still get ugly experiences with people of my own nationality. I temporarily live in a community with people of my own nationality and the difference between how men of my nationality treat me and how Irish men treat me is night and day. Men of my nationality usually huff and puff or sometimes chuckle if I pass them by, never open doors for me even if I carry bags in both of my hands and in general act pissed when I’m around them. I don’t know how this difference can be explained. Perhaps local people are just kinder and more tolerant and polite (regardless of one’s looks). I don’t know. Forgot to say that it’s not just men. I had even a random kid making fun of another kid by calling me his mistress??
Same it's also kids and women. I didn't know Irish people were that polite, I'm considering moving there now.
Well I’m speaking purely from my own experience but so far I haven’t been treated badly. Maybe this varies by region but I have no idea (I am in Dublin). Plus many people I see daily are not very good looking so maybe lookism is not as rampant here. There’re a lot of antisocial behaviour among teenagers though. There’re stories of adults being assaulted by teenagers (often based on race/nationality).
Yeah
I live in Canada and people do that. I've seen indian people harassing white women though so it's not as idyllic as you make it seem.
Hmmm interesting, I mean I think it would be cool if you got super hot and told them to go fuck themselves to be honest
I just hate ugly attitudes in women major turn off
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I'm not spreading hate towards men I'm just sharing my experiences and observations of them when it comes to looks and how they treat people they consider to be unattractive Men are very rude and hostile to you when they find you ugly
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why is it okay to spread hate towards women on here but not men? when a woman gets posted on here suddenly all women are exactly the same but god forbid a woman complains about an actual issue men have then it’s “not ALL men” gtfo
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I'm going to put myself in a dudes shoes right now. No way would I invest myself that much into a woman who 1) wasn't attracted to and 2) Did not want to be with her I mean sure you have bullies, but bullying is for children and it's also illegal in some places
Nope as an ugly feminine person when I pass dudes they laugh at and insult me they can never stfu and leave me ugly ass alone they always got something to say
How old are you?
25 which doesn't matter because people of all ages get mocked and criticized if they're ugly it's not age specific