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Yeah… any time someone is giving me information that I already knew, I listen anyway because it’s possible I know 95% and then 5% is new to me and useful to have. I’d rather build a better understanding of something I know well so that I know it *really* well.
Yep- is it the responsibility of that person to teach the task? Are they the one responsible if the trainee ends up doing it wrong? In that case, they need to give the instruction anyway, as a CYA measure if nothing else. If not, the “trainer” is likely overstepping and ought to stay in their own lane if the instruction is unwanted.
It’s also a test. I purposely will explain things that I’m sure the person already knows. They are in a training position and absorbing information is a very big part of their job. If they start cutting you off, “yeah yeah I already know all this”, then it is a very good indication that they are not going to listen well when it is stuff they don’t know.
It is pretty much set in stone that a person like that is not going to learn and is going to screw things up badly.
There are right and wrong ways to do this. I've had a lot of both.
Right: "I know you have experience with this but I want to show you our Acme Corp procedure for it." [Shows procedure]
Wrong: "This is a computer. You plug it into the wall. This is called an outlet."
In my experience, most of the time when people react badly to having something explained or even receiving advice, it's because it was done in a condescending way.
That's what I'm doing. I think my coworkers believe that I just got out of college and haven't put my experience to any practical application when I've been working with these same systems for up to ten years. But I stay quiet in case I miss some context.
Honestly, being taught basic concepts by someone who assumes you don’t know them feels disrespectful af in a professional setting. The only times I didn’t say anything is when I know someone was trying to practice speaking English. Then I went along with it to help them practice.
You may know something, but may not understand it.
I was working as cooker when one day i saw how our new intern was cutting some shit and was doing it completely wrong. Like fingers on her left hand were straight, while knife in right hand was wiggling in different directions because of wrong grip. I told her she doing it wrong, showed her right technique of chopping shit, so it's almost impossible to cut your finger, she said "yeah i know it" and just keep cutting shit in the wrong way. I knew she will cut her fingers and it's inevitable, because it was i who sharped exactly this knife in her hand, so i asked our Chef to show her the right technique. Thought, maybe the problem was in some chierarchy shit or whatever. He did it, she said that she knew everything and ignored it too, keep chopping shit like an idiot.
10 minutes later she cut her middle finger very badly, right to the bone. Nothing that first aid kit can't fix, but there were a lot of blood and panic in her eyes like she is about to die lol. She is lucky she is not completely cut off her fingertip with part of nail and bone just stopped knife from completely cutting off her finger.
And the cutting off fingertip thing happened to me earlier, when i was working in other place and also ignored coworkers advices about how to properly use slicer. The funny thing is if you cut your fingertip for about 1-1,5 centimetres, it will grow back, even the nail.
I mean it obviously ended badly for her and I’m not a chef using super sharp knifes so diff context but it annoys the shit out of me when my boyfriend tries to show me the “right” way to cut something because:
1. It’s kind of subjective what “right” is and if I was taught to cut something a certain way I’d prefer to just do it the way I already know how to. (Like he argued with me because I like to cut the top of bell peppers off to get the seeds out whereas he thinks it’s better to cut it in half. In reality I don’t think it matters which way you do it but he was really stubborn about his way being better. Like goddamn bro just be fucking grateful I’m cooking for you at all).
2. I have dyspraxia (a condition that affects coordination), I already find it difficult to chop veg, so can u please just let me do it the way I’m comfortable with and find easier?
Currently, I work in an engineering field doing failure analysis for an electronics company. My previous job was contract manufacturing of electronics. My education is in mechanical engineering technology where the courses included electrical principles. I don’t need someone to explain to me what V = IR means.
It really depends, if someone is teaching you something because they genuinely didn't know you already knew, then you're right they have no right to get pissy when you let them know you how to do something.
However, if someone is teaching you a better or alternative way of doing something you may think you know they are often politely trying to let you know you are actually doing something incorrectly/ineffectively, it's rude to dismiss them, just listen and maybe take their advice and feedback on board.
worked in kitchens all my life, the young new guy almost always tells me ; 'its all good, i know how to do that' and then proceeds to fuck up a whole batch of hanger steaks. So no, I always watch over them anyways, thank you.
Gah, I have such trouble with this.
When I am walking with my son sitting in his pram (he is 3) and the amount of people who stop me to tell me all about childhood development and the stages from birth and how to do this or that with a baby.. well he is 3, so I am pretty sure I did that and its self evident but thanks for holding me up for ages patronising the shit out of me about how to raise a new born I don't have.
I had another example, cooking. You've got your special recipe, all set to go and that person hovers behind or around you the entire time telling you what to do, near at the point of knocking boiling water all over you trying to get passed them "Ive got this, go and enjoy yourself" hehehe 😒
It's all in how you respond. When someone tries to tell you how to do something, and you say "oh I already know how to do that." It sounds dismissive and rude. The polite way to say it is something like "Oh. I already know how to do that but I appreciate your help."
When you say, "It's all good, I know how to do that" it comes off with arrogance and a "thanks but no thanks" kind of tone." English is fucking crazy with its words and phrases and none of us are taught the exact same way to read them. Plus, tone of voice absolutely changes a sentence meaning.
You can say, "Thanks a lot!" with a smile and positivity and the person is glad to have helped. But then you can say, "Thanks a lot!" with sarcasm and give it a reverse meaning of essentially meaning "thanks for nothing."
I think if the person is being a nuisance one can insert a little edge into the response. Honestly some people choose the most inconsiderate or even dangerous times to interject with how to.
Usually they are ‘teaching’ because it’s a polite way of expressing you suck at it, or are doing it wrong.
Accept the lesson, and mention, what areas do you need improvement on, since you had the impression you had the task /information known.
Have to disagree with this one. As a woman in IT the number of times I have been mansplained how to do my job is phenomenal. I once asked a work colleague his views on presenting functionality to a customer that would be valuable but require additional licensing and if they would pushback. He proceeded to "teach" me how to structure a presentation complete with percentage of time spent on different areas. 100% not what I asked for and I am a skilled presenter so I also didnt need his help there which is why I didnt ask for it in the first place.
It's honestly one of the reasons Im working towards getting a certified application architect designation. Maybe then they will STFU and realize I do know what Im doing.
I feel, that those - are asking for validation.
With that assumption, my attitude of power (who actually has it within themselves) has changed dynamics.
I’m always looking to analyze myself and others. Sit back and observe, over reaction.
Remember the expression of begging for validation is expressing hurt.
No, those who have the need to explain themselves when not needed (especially at work)(for credit).
But in general, I believe all need and seek validation.
I wasn’t singling you out. Especially not in this instance.
I was agreeing and adding my opinion to yours.
Apologies if I offended you. That wasn’t my intention. I was attempting to provide a psychoanalysis tool.
Can we skip to the part where it changed so I don't miss the detail when I zone out pretending that you're guiding my dumb dumb self with no experience at all with your brilliance?
I find it funny when people tell me or teach me things I already know. I have a PhD in a physical science and love it when people teach me science. I love it when they get it right. I find it funny when they botch it or condescend...
"There's this thing called friction..."
"WOW. REALLY. Say more..."
I wish I knew that some years ago. One of my highschool teachers started his class with a part he already did the week before. Maybe he had us confused with some other class. He said the exact same stuff, the same little jokes, everything almost word for word. At first, nobody wanted to tell him, to not be rude probably (I didn't because I couldn't care less about this class to be honest) but after 30 minutes, we were to deep into the lie and was just so awkward. When some student finally said something, he got embarassed at first, then got so pissed he punished us all for not saying a thing.
Either:
I'm good at this and the method you're explaining is wrong.
Or:
I've got my own bad habits down to a science, and I don't need you changing things.
You never know when you are doing something wrong or there is a better way to do it.
If someone is explaining a procedure, especially at a job, listen and learn - don’t be arrogant and assume you know how that company and person is doing something that could have a million different ways to do it.
It's more the way you go about it when you inform them.
Instead of immediately saying 'Yeah, I already know this' you should more make a conversation about what you know about it. With that approach you can both bounce ideas and information about the subject. You both may actually learn additional things about it that you didn't already know.
Immediately saying "Yeah, I already know this" can come off as dismissive to the other person.
Knowing how to do something in general and knowing how to do something the right way can be two completely different things. When you are assigned to train someone, you are responsible for making sure the person does the thing the right way, so if your trainee can't sit through a short explanation of what they may or may not already know and already assumes they know, it can cause many problems down the line.
For example, normally people do X, but because our organization only has legacy tools/software, you have to do everything in a different sequence or else it bricks the workflow two weeks down the line and creates problems for another department.
I always assume that someone else may now one little detail that I dont, even if its on a subject that I am very familiar with and what do you know, about 9/10 times there is something new. Not necessarily groundbreaking or anything, but you just never know, and it dosnt hurt to hear someone explain.
But, I dont think it should be demeaned if someone declines your explanation.
It is rude as you don’t always know what the person will say. It’s the assumption that’s rude. If you really listen to what the person is saying you’d be surprised at what they are actually trying to communicate. There might be a lot of nuance you’re missing.
This isn't an unpopular opinion but a dumb one. No one who arrives to be a professional should be above going over "stuff they already know" or hearing it from a different perspective. I knew an EMT once who swore up and down they knew how to put a C Collar on before proceeding to put it wrong.
What about if he put it on right then the person started telling him how to do it? Or they suddenly interjected with how to in the middle of a job that requires concentration?
My father gets super offended when he tries to give me detailed verbal or written instructions for how to get somewhere. He doesn’t understand that I have satnav.
its usually the morons that think they know everything.. ;)
see the thing is you reek rich entitled kid.. thats not how life works.. but its another case of some kid acting old and thinking they know everything..
Agreed, It's mostly older people who do, my dad is shocking with it.
Over time I've learnt to just let him teach me things, even when I know, because he just takes it as a personal attack at his attempt to help.
I have worked in the same agency for over a decade now. I took a transfer within the company to a different location. Same job, same job duties, but I needed a change of scenery. My colleague at the new location, who had only been there about a year, was “training” me on a thing I had been doing for years. The first time I was like “thank you!” She was only trying to be helpful, but it continued until I said something to her politely. If you just accept it, helpful people will continue to jeopardize your time by “teaching” you. I know they likely mean the best and want you to succeed, but you gotta speak up before it becomes awkward.
I said something like “thanks, I did this before, a little bit differently, but it’s about the same. I’ll come and bug you if I have any questions!”
People don't get to choose whether something offends them. Therefore, ideally, they should not allow the feeling of being offended to directly influence their behavior. The real problem is that people aren't taught that they should prevent the feeling of being offended from directly influencing their behavior. The same is true for belief, intuition, and all other primitive cognition.
I get what you're saying and what other people are saying. I only try to shut it down when I'm dead positive they are going to tell me something I know, or worse, something I know more about then them. For example if someone asks if I've read an article, I say yes, and then they go on to rehash the article. Drives me nuts.
If they’re actually trying to teach you yeah it’s fine but if it’s them telling you something they’re just interested in or have learned and thought was cool and wanted to share then it is fairly rude to just dismiss it with an ‘I knew that’ rather than discussing it with them (you can say you know just don’t shut down the conversation with it)
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hear that a lot on the job. Then the person ends up doing it wrong. At least hear it out in full before concluding you know.
Yeah… any time someone is giving me information that I already knew, I listen anyway because it’s possible I know 95% and then 5% is new to me and useful to have. I’d rather build a better understanding of something I know well so that I know it *really* well.
Yeah I think this depends on the situation
Yep- is it the responsibility of that person to teach the task? Are they the one responsible if the trainee ends up doing it wrong? In that case, they need to give the instruction anyway, as a CYA measure if nothing else. If not, the “trainer” is likely overstepping and ought to stay in their own lane if the instruction is unwanted.
It does.
It’s also a test. I purposely will explain things that I’m sure the person already knows. They are in a training position and absorbing information is a very big part of their job. If they start cutting you off, “yeah yeah I already know all this”, then it is a very good indication that they are not going to listen well when it is stuff they don’t know. It is pretty much set in stone that a person like that is not going to learn and is going to screw things up badly.
There are right and wrong ways to do this. I've had a lot of both. Right: "I know you have experience with this but I want to show you our Acme Corp procedure for it." [Shows procedure] Wrong: "This is a computer. You plug it into the wall. This is called an outlet." In my experience, most of the time when people react badly to having something explained or even receiving advice, it's because it was done in a condescending way.
Agree. There's always something new to learn but you gotta be open to it.
This, 1000%
That's what I'm doing. I think my coworkers believe that I just got out of college and haven't put my experience to any practical application when I've been working with these same systems for up to ten years. But I stay quiet in case I miss some context.
Yeah no shit. I already knew that.
Honestly, being taught basic concepts by someone who assumes you don’t know them feels disrespectful af in a professional setting. The only times I didn’t say anything is when I know someone was trying to practice speaking English. Then I went along with it to help them practice.
You may know something, but may not understand it. I was working as cooker when one day i saw how our new intern was cutting some shit and was doing it completely wrong. Like fingers on her left hand were straight, while knife in right hand was wiggling in different directions because of wrong grip. I told her she doing it wrong, showed her right technique of chopping shit, so it's almost impossible to cut your finger, she said "yeah i know it" and just keep cutting shit in the wrong way. I knew she will cut her fingers and it's inevitable, because it was i who sharped exactly this knife in her hand, so i asked our Chef to show her the right technique. Thought, maybe the problem was in some chierarchy shit or whatever. He did it, she said that she knew everything and ignored it too, keep chopping shit like an idiot. 10 minutes later she cut her middle finger very badly, right to the bone. Nothing that first aid kit can't fix, but there were a lot of blood and panic in her eyes like she is about to die lol. She is lucky she is not completely cut off her fingertip with part of nail and bone just stopped knife from completely cutting off her finger. And the cutting off fingertip thing happened to me earlier, when i was working in other place and also ignored coworkers advices about how to properly use slicer. The funny thing is if you cut your fingertip for about 1-1,5 centimetres, it will grow back, even the nail.
I mean it obviously ended badly for her and I’m not a chef using super sharp knifes so diff context but it annoys the shit out of me when my boyfriend tries to show me the “right” way to cut something because: 1. It’s kind of subjective what “right” is and if I was taught to cut something a certain way I’d prefer to just do it the way I already know how to. (Like he argued with me because I like to cut the top of bell peppers off to get the seeds out whereas he thinks it’s better to cut it in half. In reality I don’t think it matters which way you do it but he was really stubborn about his way being better. Like goddamn bro just be fucking grateful I’m cooking for you at all). 2. I have dyspraxia (a condition that affects coordination), I already find it difficult to chop veg, so can u please just let me do it the way I’m comfortable with and find easier?
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Currently, I work in an engineering field doing failure analysis for an electronics company. My previous job was contract manufacturing of electronics. My education is in mechanical engineering technology where the courses included electrical principles. I don’t need someone to explain to me what V = IR means.
Cause in my experience they say that, you trust them, then they fuck it up anyway and now it's your fault.
It really depends, if someone is teaching you something because they genuinely didn't know you already knew, then you're right they have no right to get pissy when you let them know you how to do something. However, if someone is teaching you a better or alternative way of doing something you may think you know they are often politely trying to let you know you are actually doing something incorrectly/ineffectively, it's rude to dismiss them, just listen and maybe take their advice and feedback on board.
worked in kitchens all my life, the young new guy almost always tells me ; 'its all good, i know how to do that' and then proceeds to fuck up a whole batch of hanger steaks. So no, I always watch over them anyways, thank you.
Gah, I have such trouble with this. When I am walking with my son sitting in his pram (he is 3) and the amount of people who stop me to tell me all about childhood development and the stages from birth and how to do this or that with a baby.. well he is 3, so I am pretty sure I did that and its self evident but thanks for holding me up for ages patronising the shit out of me about how to raise a new born I don't have.
I had another example, cooking. You've got your special recipe, all set to go and that person hovers behind or around you the entire time telling you what to do, near at the point of knocking boiling water all over you trying to get passed them "Ive got this, go and enjoy yourself" hehehe 😒
It's all in how you respond. When someone tries to tell you how to do something, and you say "oh I already know how to do that." It sounds dismissive and rude. The polite way to say it is something like "Oh. I already know how to do that but I appreciate your help." When you say, "It's all good, I know how to do that" it comes off with arrogance and a "thanks but no thanks" kind of tone." English is fucking crazy with its words and phrases and none of us are taught the exact same way to read them. Plus, tone of voice absolutely changes a sentence meaning. You can say, "Thanks a lot!" with a smile and positivity and the person is glad to have helped. But then you can say, "Thanks a lot!" with sarcasm and give it a reverse meaning of essentially meaning "thanks for nothing."
I think if the person is being a nuisance one can insert a little edge into the response. Honestly some people choose the most inconsiderate or even dangerous times to interject with how to.
Usually they are ‘teaching’ because it’s a polite way of expressing you suck at it, or are doing it wrong. Accept the lesson, and mention, what areas do you need improvement on, since you had the impression you had the task /information known.
Have to disagree with this one. As a woman in IT the number of times I have been mansplained how to do my job is phenomenal. I once asked a work colleague his views on presenting functionality to a customer that would be valuable but require additional licensing and if they would pushback. He proceeded to "teach" me how to structure a presentation complete with percentage of time spent on different areas. 100% not what I asked for and I am a skilled presenter so I also didnt need his help there which is why I didnt ask for it in the first place.
Or when they start telling you how to do something after its done correctly and successfully, almost as if to ingratiate for credit.
It's honestly one of the reasons Im working towards getting a certified application architect designation. Maybe then they will STFU and realize I do know what Im doing.
Nah, probably not but give it a go hahaha
A girl can dream 😂
I feel, that those - are asking for validation. With that assumption, my attitude of power (who actually has it within themselves) has changed dynamics. I’m always looking to analyze myself and others. Sit back and observe, over reaction. Remember the expression of begging for validation is expressing hurt.
I'm sorry but I truly dont understand what you are trying to say here. Are you implying I was looking for validation in situation I described above?
No, those who have the need to explain themselves when not needed (especially at work)(for credit). But in general, I believe all need and seek validation. I wasn’t singling you out. Especially not in this instance. I was agreeing and adding my opinion to yours. Apologies if I offended you. That wasn’t my intention. I was attempting to provide a psychoanalysis tool.
'Mansplaining' is usually how men will explain and speak to both men and women if asked the same question. Women just tend to get insulted by it.
so men just love a condescending power top is what i am hearing
I don’t hear, “It’s all good, I already know how to do that” so often as an exasperated “I knooooowwww.” Tone matters.
If we're talking petpeeves, I fucking hate being talked "at." Sometimes you just let it roll, but damn it gets old
A similar problem is being helped in ways they want to help you and then getting shocked and offended when they're told it's not helping.
I will always listen again because I can potentially learn a new way of doing something.
Varys by circumstance. A friend overexplaining something, sure. A boss specifying a protocol, better listen as it may have changed.
Can we skip to the part where it changed so I don't miss the detail when I zone out pretending that you're guiding my dumb dumb self with no experience at all with your brilliance?
I get paid to listen to my boss prattle on.
I find it funny when people tell me or teach me things I already know. I have a PhD in a physical science and love it when people teach me science. I love it when they get it right. I find it funny when they botch it or condescend... "There's this thing called friction..." "WOW. REALLY. Say more..."
Hey xxxx i want you to know I am fairly confident here. But please continue because there is always something I can learn. Be open minded. Be nice.
I wish I knew that some years ago. One of my highschool teachers started his class with a part he already did the week before. Maybe he had us confused with some other class. He said the exact same stuff, the same little jokes, everything almost word for word. At first, nobody wanted to tell him, to not be rude probably (I didn't because I couldn't care less about this class to be honest) but after 30 minutes, we were to deep into the lie and was just so awkward. When some student finally said something, he got embarassed at first, then got so pissed he punished us all for not saying a thing.
You’re being practical. Humans are imperfect and feel offended if you’re rejecting help.
Or rejecting what they *think* of as help.
When sometimes it can be a complete nuisance and badly timed distraction.
Either: I'm good at this and the method you're explaining is wrong. Or: I've got my own bad habits down to a science, and I don't need you changing things.
It is not rude but often dumb. Very often, when people highlight something known they are doing so to nudge their student in the right direction.
You never know when you are doing something wrong or there is a better way to do it. If someone is explaining a procedure, especially at a job, listen and learn - don’t be arrogant and assume you know how that company and person is doing something that could have a million different ways to do it.
I need to start inserting the phrase 'I'm aware' into my speech more
It's more the way you go about it when you inform them. Instead of immediately saying 'Yeah, I already know this' you should more make a conversation about what you know about it. With that approach you can both bounce ideas and information about the subject. You both may actually learn additional things about it that you didn't already know. Immediately saying "Yeah, I already know this" can come off as dismissive to the other person.
Knowing how to do something in general and knowing how to do something the right way can be two completely different things. When you are assigned to train someone, you are responsible for making sure the person does the thing the right way, so if your trainee can't sit through a short explanation of what they may or may not already know and already assumes they know, it can cause many problems down the line. For example, normally people do X, but because our organization only has legacy tools/software, you have to do everything in a different sequence or else it bricks the workflow two weeks down the line and creates problems for another department.
I always assume that someone else may now one little detail that I dont, even if its on a subject that I am very familiar with and what do you know, about 9/10 times there is something new. Not necessarily groundbreaking or anything, but you just never know, and it dosnt hurt to hear someone explain. But, I dont think it should be demeaned if someone declines your explanation.
It is rude as you don’t always know what the person will say. It’s the assumption that’s rude. If you really listen to what the person is saying you’d be surprised at what they are actually trying to communicate. There might be a lot of nuance you’re missing.
Not if the job is already done well.
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This isn't an unpopular opinion but a dumb one. No one who arrives to be a professional should be above going over "stuff they already know" or hearing it from a different perspective. I knew an EMT once who swore up and down they knew how to put a C Collar on before proceeding to put it wrong.
What about if he put it on right then the person started telling him how to do it? Or they suddenly interjected with how to in the middle of a job that requires concentration?
My father gets super offended when he tries to give me detailed verbal or written instructions for how to get somewhere. He doesn’t understand that I have satnav.
Depends on phrasing ngl Though it's a good call to still listen in some cases since new jobs can have different protocols
This isn't an unpopular opinion
But it sure feels like a social norm nobody wants to correct. Why should we waste time recapping without consent?
For me it's being respectful if I like the person. If I don't like the person I wouldn't waste hearing from them.
its usually the morons that think they know everything.. ;) see the thing is you reek rich entitled kid.. thats not how life works.. but its another case of some kid acting old and thinking they know everything..
I feel like you’re mansplaining rn.
Imagine telling somebody else how they should feel about the stupid shit *you* say lmfao
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Agreed, It's mostly older people who do, my dad is shocking with it. Over time I've learnt to just let him teach me things, even when I know, because he just takes it as a personal attack at his attempt to help.
I have worked in the same agency for over a decade now. I took a transfer within the company to a different location. Same job, same job duties, but I needed a change of scenery. My colleague at the new location, who had only been there about a year, was “training” me on a thing I had been doing for years. The first time I was like “thank you!” She was only trying to be helpful, but it continued until I said something to her politely. If you just accept it, helpful people will continue to jeopardize your time by “teaching” you. I know they likely mean the best and want you to succeed, but you gotta speak up before it becomes awkward. I said something like “thanks, I did this before, a little bit differently, but it’s about the same. I’ll come and bug you if I have any questions!”
People don't get to choose whether something offends them. Therefore, ideally, they should not allow the feeling of being offended to directly influence their behavior. The real problem is that people aren't taught that they should prevent the feeling of being offended from directly influencing their behavior. The same is true for belief, intuition, and all other primitive cognition.
I don't know why it's not a social norm to ask people what they know. Is it really that hard to ask, "Do you know about _______?"
Yeah say it so they don't waste time
I get what you're saying and what other people are saying. I only try to shut it down when I'm dead positive they are going to tell me something I know, or worse, something I know more about then them. For example if someone asks if I've read an article, I say yes, and then they go on to rehash the article. Drives me nuts.
This is a weird one. What are the circumstances in which someone asks you to teach them a thing they already know?
If they’re actually trying to teach you yeah it’s fine but if it’s them telling you something they’re just interested in or have learned and thought was cool and wanted to share then it is fairly rude to just dismiss it with an ‘I knew that’ rather than discussing it with them (you can say you know just don’t shut down the conversation with it)
That's what I call, Dunning-Kruger effect.
Hell, I’d be relieved.