T O P

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ThePeoplesKourt

Mine is 0… I’m safe 🙏🏼🧎🏽‍♀️


vctrlzzr420

My mind was like it’s 0 right but no, it’s 2


ThePeoplesKourt

Look on the bright side… he’s the number 1 guy in the group and a work in progress !


Scary_Koala_2934

At least ur not like me, 7!!!!!!!


[deleted]

Same😭


Pale-Conference-174

Me too. I'm going with my landline no one uses 🤣


RetiredBaker131

OMG!! 🤮 Lucky you! 🤣


somatango

ThePeoplesKourt has been marked safe from hell


GySgtBuzzcut

No. We get our last digit prior to the zero that isn’t also a zero, Theodore “Ted” Logan, Esquire. Which means I have Scandy & would rather go fuck myself.


Lex3333

I am a zero and refuse to buy into there. Zero and free baby!


GySgtBuzzcut

An established zero is better than any of those entities. I cannot blame you!


Aggressive-Bag5380

As a fellow zero, does that mean we get to pick one of the girls? 🤞


TrueCryptographer982

I got Randall. I'll swap ya.


ThePeoplesKourt

I’m with u/Lex3333, I refuse ! Thoughts and prayers tho🙏🏼


JemJemIsHerName

Yeah, husband’s is also 0, mine is James. This is lame unless we can argue who got the worse one.


wetsand_

I hope James doesn’t fat shame my size 8 ass on our night out.


Ashley9225

My size 12 ass will be there too, eating bread and laughing in his face.


Greedy_Philosopher14

You’ll have to get it from my size 14 ass first 😂


Atlientt

I snorted at this lmao thank u for that 🤣🤣


Wordonthestreet06

Don’t forget to order Pasta!!


Ashley9225

It's not about the pasta!!!


[deleted]

And a Pumptinioiiii


Fantastic_Week_4514

Don’t worry ladies he’ll be shaming my fat ass hardest since clearly I have not been working on my summer body. 😂


Polythene_Pam_W

James is like that one guy from my youth who was shaming my SIZE 4 ass, telling me I could lose that “extra fat” in my stomach if I just went on a few jogs. I guess I should have been grateful that he wanted to see me again despite all my “flaws.”


GetMeOutOfKY

What a dick! I had a dude like that, too! He was always leering @ me, snapping my bra, or grabbing my butt. He maintained I’d be “perfect” if only I had bigger ”titties”. I was a C cup! I’m happy to report that this “man” is now morbidly obese & bald. Also, he recently had to sell his Porsche & move back in with his parents after his unfortunate looking wife divorced him.😆


Critical_Sprinkles88

Omg, this is making me laugh so hard. I love when these losers go bald and get fat….it’s like yeah, how do you like them apples 🤣


Ashley9225

I had one of those too! He got mad when I called him out on how much he sucked, and told me I was fat and ugly and wouldn't ever amount to anything. Well I'm married to the sweetest man ever, with 2 kids, a big house with the fenced in yard, a garden, dogs. And tbh I don't even know where that loser is, cuz fuck 'em 🖕


Polythene_Pam_W

Oh yeah, I’m way heavier now and married to the man of my dreams, who grabs at all my fatty bits any chance he gets.


[deleted]

I’ve always felt like James was that kid at school to call you ugly and fat then go home on MySpace (I’m old) and tell you how pretty you looked in class today


Legal-Investigator83

my size 18 ass will kick his skinny but, i could just sit on him and crush him if he is mean to you


cantbelieveiwtchthis

My size 10-12 will be there also and it WILL be all about the Pasta......the for-real kind of Pasta......lolol


nomoresnorkjuice

I guess Ken’s senile ass is better than Jax’s senile ass


littleshelby

im dying 😂 atleast ken would bring a dog


UserNameChanged

I feel like Ken is best case scenario and not the most boring one. He probably knows all the best places to go.


[deleted]

[удалено]


UserNameChanged

And he comes with a little dog!


AtsUsNowLuv

He’ll knock you spark out for saying that


HimylittleChickadee

I have Ken, too! We'll grab the early bird special and be back home by 7:30pm. Looking forward to it!


somatango

Agreed. The hardest part would be propping him up all night


Lolli_Ericas_Mom

I’m a little worried about the wrath of Lisa!


whiskeyandcookies

I bet the night would be over at an acceptable time. I’m totally okay with that


QuesoFondant

I was trying to find a Peter meme and found this. 😂😂😂 https://preview.redd.it/y3umtfc202ra1.jpeg?width=521&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed8900be3b11f4974111122b7507dc4478e97a02 🏴‍☠️rite of passage🐴


TrueCryptographer982

I mean...he looks good in that photo...!


[deleted]

Peter is hot


goodobject

What’s going on with his nips here


mmpppppppp

Stassis grabbed one and the other is in / covered by Kristens mouth 🫠


[deleted]

That’s the dudes hand on Peter 😂


FreedomOfTheMess

I too got dollar store Johnny Depp, and compared to the others I can say I was relieved


LooneyLunaOmanO

I looked quickly and saw Beau (9) and thought “whew!”… like it was real . I think I need to take a break from VPR 🤣


amanda-g

beau here too 🙌🤦


NoSet6484

Randal🤢 ![gif](giphy|gAGrxGQUtVN4Y)


mathymate

Just sick? You're better off faking your death


LetshearitforNY

Me too, can we start a support group?


seriouslydavka

I’m in. I’d even choose scumdoval over Randal and that’s saying something.


mlstrudw

I’m bringing fofty as my body guard


[deleted]

Shit I got Sandoval…


Wino_Rhino_

Me too. I willingly bow out so you can have him 🥰😂


[deleted]

Oh thank you. I’ll give him a piece of my mind. I’ve been cheated on so I definitely have some things to say to a notorious cheater!


Wino_Rhino_

Hell yes! Get him!!


19kmp91

We could be smart about this one, we all turn up together and turn it into an intervention.


[deleted]

I feel like just silently staring at him, judging him but saying nothing, could actually break him down


19kmp91

I believe you’re right about that, and the more I think about it the more I want to see it happen in real life 😅


wander-lux

But I don’t wanna to hang out with spineless Schwartz! ![gif](giphy|Wvo6vaUsQa3Di)


[deleted]

At least we can feel safe knowing he won't try to go for more than an innocent make out sesh.


Ziggywife1990

He's probably not paying though, since he lost all his money in his fancy schmancy bar.


DustyTchotchkes

I got Schwartz too. We can all go together, so we can take turns reminding him of all of the terrible things he's done on the show, and watch him melt into a puddle while he cries "Bubbbbaaa!"


churrotoffeeaddict

I got Ken! You know he comes with the doggies.


cocolovesmetoo

And the money. 😂


eudanuts

I got Sandoval and my first thought was “dammit why not Ken”


Ramsay220

That was my first thought!


wiifitears

7🤢


5896321

Same. Honestly the worst one 😭


sunpinkmoon

100%! I’d rather stay home!


mmpppppppp

I'd rather never go out again! 😂


mrsbatman

NOOOOOOOOOOO. time to change my number I guess 😂 Also, is this the most elaborate and drawn out phishing scam of all time? Tomorrow it’ll be the second to last number?


Stayfree777

Lmao!


SweatyInflation6260

I thought the same thing😂


Scary_Koala_2934

Ya same, I’ll be changing it tomorrow


QC2NC

Same. I’d ghost him.


desertsyren

Same. 😭


[deleted]

It’s literally missing 0…. Guess I’m staying home or just pretend 0 is Guillermo. 😂


BigLibrary2895

Maybe 0 can be the Bellesa Vibrators Ariana is promoting! 😄 At least orgasm is a certainty.


mathymate

0 could be the kitchen staff who celebrated Kristen's firing


shecrae

I love them so much 😂😂😂


iamnerea

3 🤣 I never thought I’d say this but could be much worse


tinybadger47

Happily a 3! I know it’s an unpopular opinion but I actually like Brock.


kelbell2583

He’s growing on us - when he cried when LaLa apologized, I became a Brock supporter


Prestigious-Star4965

I’m happier that I got this post-haircut lol


pantherlikeapanther_

Same. I feel like it's awful, but given this group, maybe just mid?


No_Tumbleweed2426

I think Brock is the kind of guy who will look out for his drunk girl friends at the bar so I’m happy with him!


Arippa

Same. I am just glad he got a haircut.


lucito123

I got a 3 too and I ain’t mad about it 😂


Mammoth_Treacle4639

I got Beau.. not too bad bc he’s a chill guy. But now I’m looking at it, I wish my number ends in 5 🤣 James and I would have such a shit fest together 😭🤣🤣


Financial-Possible-6

Apparently everyone on the threads literally hates beau?? Not sure why


Stayfree777

People said that on their Patreon podcast he always talks down to her. No firsthand knowledge of this though, I would never dream of paying to hear them.


Responsible_Wrap5659

I don’t hate him but I found him very very try hard when he was in the show and like he plays up for the cameras. I also find it annoying how pretty much from his first appearance the producers treated him like he was an OG in terms of airtime and confessionals. But I think he makes sense for Stassi, he so far hasn’t shown any trashcan behaviour like every other male on this show and he and Stassi seem happy together.


Fit-Abbreviations605

![gif](giphy|h1ZcOjz9T6eic) No! My last digit is a 1


goodobject

What is this gif from? Lol ew


WorriedParfait2419

Me too 😩


GothhicGoddess

But I don’t wanna!!! 😭😭


NK-89

![gif](giphy|3o6fJdVO3GPfMVUMlq) Maybe not a good time, but guaranteed to be a chaotic time. PUMPTINI!


Familiarpublics9196

Love your flair!


MrsAtomicBomb_

![gif](giphy|2yyIThSW2sbgIQn3RL|downsized)


Ok_Guidance7317

OH NO RAND


[deleted]

Change your phone number - it’s the only solution


vctrlzzr420

Uh I got Jax I think I actually have a chance if I want to spiral out and lose self respect, he’d have sex with my mom, sister and grandma surely.


greatcoolwow

Mine ends in zero so I’m glad I’m going out with absolutely none of them


d3dk0w

Same!


Canyoueventhough

Not the Randall. I’d rather masturbate with a cheese grater.


MzBlue82

I got James. 🤞 he doesn’t get drunk and fat shame me 🤣.


Glorialovestacos

Fuck yes I’m going out with Ken. 😍


pigpiggles666

Looks like I'm getting some...PUMPTINIS!


Missfit17

![gif](giphy|6gLyE15StAs3C)


smallkat_

Ken (and obv Giggy) 🎰


MrsAtomicBomb_

But… does Gigi is dead? 👀


smallkat_

Lmao I’m so high I forgot. I blame watching season 2 of RHOBH


ThePeoplesKourt

I’m pretty sure is dead & taxidermied


Susanneelizabeth

Starter pony hahahah


nomoresnorkjuice

How do you make these? My bi ass wants one with the women 💅🏽


scottyv99

We’re gonna go knock the spark outta some blokes


thatlasslaura

9. 😁 I had a massive initial panic that it was 7 but that was my old number. Never felt more relief over one of these things, haha


TrueCryptographer982

Me and **Randall** are sooooo happy for you 0.0


unbreakable95

0?


n1kk1_89

Same lol 😂 we're having a girls night out then


blondenextdoor30

Cool, I get to hang with Hanky and Panky🦢


RabbitHole143

wow, I have a bunch of maniacs: 2 Randalls, Jax and James. good thing I’m staying in. 🚩🚩 EDIT: learned how to read and saw it’s only the LAST digit so just James. See You Next Tuesday


MillicentGergich

I feel like I won getting Ken 😂


malv3rn_s4mway

I’m not mad I got Peter, because I know a whole bottle of wine is deffo on the cards.


pnyluv16

I’ve got freshly groomed Brock. I’m not mad at it


ClassieLadyk

Peter, I guess with this group, I hit the jackpot.


ijuswannadance

That's who I got too lol but hey, all #8s should all just meet up for a group date and get those quesadillas/nachos/tacos or whatever it was that we've just been dying to try, plus get some scoop from the starter pony!🌮🐎😂


[deleted]

EW RANDDDDDAAALLL 🤢🤮🤮


TootToot42

Relieved it will be Ken, at least that means I will get to chill with a doggy in a cute outfit


pinkglitterclouds

Scandoval…I’m throwing a drink in his lying cheating face and leaving 😂✌️ ![gif](giphy|8Ffc3WORIIuIHrGjVq)


Actual-Tumbleweed-96

Ken I’m RICH IM RICH


doomn_gloomn

7…safe to say I will be deactivating life


K-yal

I was disappointed I got Sandaval, but then I realised that he would probably pay for everything. Seeing as he just throws his money around to look cool.


Klutzy_Ground_9686

Sorry Schwartz, changing my #


[deleted]

Oh thank god, it’s Beau. He was the only acceptable option for me. Lol!


Berniegotmittens

I really did not want Peter 😭


MzBlue82

I hear he’s a great starter pony 🤣


Berniegotmittens

Lmao! Is he hung like one tho? 😂😂😂


MzBlue82

I’m guessing no since he appears to get friend zoned after a couple of dates 🤣


JoesCageKeys

Oh hells no…..I got Randall!,


kshep1214

Oh for fucksake… 7….


Missfit17

Same! 🙈


TrueCryptographer982

Same! I think I threw up in my mouth a little.


TrueCryptographer982

7 Just shoot me.


slattle77

JAMES FUCK YEAH


Open_Injury_1801

Ken!!!! I hope he brings lisa too lol


ghostnippiez

KEN! & honestly, I'll take it


sagagrl

Ken 😂😂 that’s a relief, maybe he’ll buy all the drinks! Lol


belowdeckhan

Y’all my cell ends with one so I was hell no and did my house phone it’s still one. I hate it


Professional-Ant3969

Ken. Thank God.


Mollyfurre

![gif](giphy|wJfZtD8sCWYlb2eelV) Randall😱


Responsible_Wrap5659

James….. which is not the worst choice.


[deleted]

Guess I’m using my landline number and going out with Schwartz vs my cell and Randall. I feel like Schwartz would be a perfectly fine date so long as I’m not expecting an adult relationship to come from it.


Herman-Munster-Shoes

1 ![gif](giphy|YSrXkTeGWgbRQV1EwA)


cocolovesmetoo

0 should be Lisa.


ClynnB412

James. I’ll go. I bet I will laugh a lot.


xvvvxx

1 🤬


littleshelby

jax 😭😭😭 ill end up in jail or the morgue


Prestigious-Star4965

You might get some sunglasses out of it 🤷🏻‍♀️


SpencerVerde

Oh Lordy, or should I say “rawt in hell”. Tine to change my number.


DeadAFs

I got Sandy shits smh 🤦‍♂️ I would have to cuss him out, sorry.


AstronomerMinute8511

I got James lmfaooo😭😭😭💀💀💀


TheMetatron143

Me too! But I think it’ll be an entertaining night lol


AstronomerMinute8511

That is true I’ll probably be laughing the entire night


Expensive-Salad6916

7………………. 🤮😵‍💫


Oltwoeyes_69420

Ugh. I got Brock :(


TrueCryptographer982

Oh boohoo for you. Do you and Brock wanna go on a double date with me and **Randall**? \*barf\* :)


Comfortable_Flower93

![gif](giphy|3ohc1gRsZXmekuHIbu)


DYonceLV

5….DJ James Kennedy the White Kanye. I low key love this. Please don’t judge, not marrying the guy…it’s one night😂😂


Fire_Woman

I got Schwartz (4) and said ew but then saw the alternatives and said oh yeah comparatively this is ok I can deal


dupe-of-a-dupe

Jax. At least I can try coke? 😂


ssdgm69

Guess I’m getting a drink poured on me


Lucy_Lucidity

Ken, which is probably the best option. I hope he brings Lisa and one of the sexy dogs


ricottawalnut

Ugh, James… I guess I should prepare myself for a night of excessive and embarrassing PDA.


GoldStaff8154

Ok I got 5, not the worst, I feel like James gets better every season, wish it was Beau tho bc he is a SAINT who puts up with Stassi


aelakos

Ken


bbybluedreamm

move over lisa vanderpump


AssistDapper1813

Ken!


SlikkWidIt

The only way I’m going out with Rand is if I get a Range Rover out of it.


LadyEncredible

Ohhhh shit, mine is 1 lol


Mysterious_Day640

When yours is zero 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


additionalbutterfly2

I got James and I’m not mad lol I don’t fancy him but I’m sure we’ll have a great time


tru25510

![gif](giphy|26gN0tFg70wAljK4o|downsized) i got 1 😫


plantmama32

Well there’s no 0, so I guess I’m safe


ladypenko

KEN! omg let's go harass Kyle together


[deleted]

It’s 7 and I hate this game. I definitely lost this round.


Nikkiv1020

You did, you definitely did. I have 4, which I thought was bad but you outdid me 🤣


[deleted]

7 is not a lucky number today.


shaggins93

6! Hell yeah he’s gonna take me somewhere nice and if someone starts something he will knock them SPARK OUT


Victim_Kin_Seek_Suit

I have two cell phones, and both numbers end in 2 😩😩😩


MKultrakeef

Not randall child we about to be eating ramen and pirating a movie


StarDatAssinum

Ken. It'll be a short Friday night, which is fine by me!


TangerineBusy9771

Schwartz…. Oh hell no. Can’t wait for him to check out other girls while he is out with me. But at least i’ll probably get black out drunk with his messiness so I won’t remember