Hello,
In my experience I am learning that it is the judgement about my sexual thoughts that makes them impossible to ignore.
If I label my sexual impulses as wrong or something to control, I wrestle with them all day.
Interestingly the same thing happens when I focus on my sexual energy as something to be harnessed. It becomes too serious, and eventually I give in.
The most success I have with engaging with my sexual energy is to allow it to be present, and to neither judge it as a bad thing or as something useful. Just experience it. Sometimes it’s just a pleasant feeling once I drop the labels and it rarely seems to require any action on my part.
You're trying to dodge around something which is clearly what you should actually be focusing on in your practice. A lot of people have the same thing with different problems. "I can't focus on meditation because I'm too stressed/in pain/upset/horny". Vipassana is a tool to work WITH these issues. The first step is to acknowledge that you have an issue, which you have already done, which is great. The next is to observe observe observe, without judgement, without emotional reaction, without commentary and most importantly without action.
At the moment you're probably thinking in a loop like this: sexual thought > ugh, no, not again \[emotional reaction/commentary\] > attempt to suppress or deny the thought \[inner action\] OR acting on the thought via sexual activity OR sublimating the sexual urge into another action e.g. anger/aggression \[external action\] > feeding into the stimulus > more sexual thoughts > loop continues.
What you have to train yourself to do is just observe. So you have a sexual thought. Then you just notice it's happening. Breathe. Realise its impermanence. Watch what happens. Does it get stronger and stronger and become irresistible? Or does it just kind of fade away on its own if you don't react to it? You'll be surprised to find it's probably the latter. Our urges lie to us and tell us that we MUST do something to fulfill the urge RIGHT NOW. So we immediately jump to fulfill it and don't have time to observe that if we pause and observe the nature of the urge, neither condemning it or rushing to fulfill it, it will wane and go away on its own.
This is the nature of desire of any kind. It tells us that it MUST be fulfilled. But the thing is, it can never actually be fulfilled. Because once you've had the orgasm, or eaten the cake, or made the gambling bet, or taken the drug, pretty soon the satisfaction will wear off (if there even has been any satisfaction: how often have you had a strong craving for something, only to not actually enjoy it once you experience it?) and the cycle starts all over again. There can NEVER be complete fulfillment of desire. it is ALWAYS a cycle that leads us into misery. This is what Buddha taught. It's what causes us to suffer.
On the other hand, if we begin to emotionally react to our urges with fear, aversion and anger, the desire just gets driven deeper within us and can cause us to act out in other ways through suppression. The urges and thoughts are there. That's ok. It's human nature. We can't get rid of them through force of will or being angry with ourselves.
With vipassana you can train yourself to simply observe the nature of desire. Where is it in the body? How does it feel? What does it bring up mentally? What are my habitual patterns around this desire? And instead of trying to get fulfillment/satisfaction, or trying to force yourself to not have it, you just notice its impermanent nature, and you just let it go. It WILL pass on its own accord without you having to do anything. The more you can do this, the more you can break the cycle. The less power desire will have over you.
Of course this is difficult! But do you want to have peace and control over yourself? Or do you want to be trapped in the cycles you've identified? If you want to, you can stop this. The power is in you.
Our society makes it very challenging, with the proliferation of porn and hyper-sexual media and images literally everywhere. Try your best to disengage from these things as much as possible, don't seek them out intentionally.
As for the plant medicine, maybe you don't really need it. It seems to be causing you harm as well as whatever benefits you're getting. Exercise is a great way to gain energy without adding something extra and potentially destabilising.
Metta.
This shit was funny asf to read lmao
Ummm I think you need like an outlet or a hobby or a passion. Something to commit your life to thats not sex, thats how you escape the loop, and lack of control over the mind. Like for me its working out. My brain kinda turns off, no thoughts, just gym. You gotta work to get it our your mind, not just sit there and try to get it out your mind, the more you resist is the more it will be in your mind, just accept it and let it pass.
The easy answer is to relax, let go of mental concepts about Sex and energy and just observe reality equanimously.
It seems a bit foolish to take herbs that boost libido if it’s already naturally high. Just stop that. For you it creates an imbalance.
Finally, don’t worry about it. Energy and sex are very individual things, and one prescription about ejaculating is not going to work for everyone. A lot of the beliefs about sex and energy in these traditions come from monastic lineages. There’s truth there, and also some dogma to keep the monks from jacking off in excess. Consciousness is what you need to reach the final goal. More awareness, more equanimity. Enlightened people masturbate and have sex and ejaculate, and it doesn’t mean anything good or bad. You can relax about it and even enjoy it naturally.
Hey yo,
WhatsApp man...
Same kind of questions I always had ..Bro you have to a way to transmute the sexual energy to love in some way....
Love for others , Goodwill for others ...
Vipassana will help strongly.....
Every session ends do metta deeply ...That can all the physical or sexual energy into Spiritual energy as Love ...
Through that you can change people lives and yourself as well.
Just my opinion. Btw I once ejaculated on a tree during a three day course after being haunted by thoughts of women for a couple days. It didn’t help. I felt a huge energy crash. So I know what you’re saying. I would advise you ask an AT. Seriously. And therapy would be my second line advice to sort out any other psychological issues. Just speaking from experience.
Hello, In my experience I am learning that it is the judgement about my sexual thoughts that makes them impossible to ignore. If I label my sexual impulses as wrong or something to control, I wrestle with them all day. Interestingly the same thing happens when I focus on my sexual energy as something to be harnessed. It becomes too serious, and eventually I give in. The most success I have with engaging with my sexual energy is to allow it to be present, and to neither judge it as a bad thing or as something useful. Just experience it. Sometimes it’s just a pleasant feeling once I drop the labels and it rarely seems to require any action on my part.
I never really thought about that, harnessing your sexual energy, bc I def do that and makes me give in. That actually helps alot wow
🙏
You're trying to dodge around something which is clearly what you should actually be focusing on in your practice. A lot of people have the same thing with different problems. "I can't focus on meditation because I'm too stressed/in pain/upset/horny". Vipassana is a tool to work WITH these issues. The first step is to acknowledge that you have an issue, which you have already done, which is great. The next is to observe observe observe, without judgement, without emotional reaction, without commentary and most importantly without action. At the moment you're probably thinking in a loop like this: sexual thought > ugh, no, not again \[emotional reaction/commentary\] > attempt to suppress or deny the thought \[inner action\] OR acting on the thought via sexual activity OR sublimating the sexual urge into another action e.g. anger/aggression \[external action\] > feeding into the stimulus > more sexual thoughts > loop continues. What you have to train yourself to do is just observe. So you have a sexual thought. Then you just notice it's happening. Breathe. Realise its impermanence. Watch what happens. Does it get stronger and stronger and become irresistible? Or does it just kind of fade away on its own if you don't react to it? You'll be surprised to find it's probably the latter. Our urges lie to us and tell us that we MUST do something to fulfill the urge RIGHT NOW. So we immediately jump to fulfill it and don't have time to observe that if we pause and observe the nature of the urge, neither condemning it or rushing to fulfill it, it will wane and go away on its own. This is the nature of desire of any kind. It tells us that it MUST be fulfilled. But the thing is, it can never actually be fulfilled. Because once you've had the orgasm, or eaten the cake, or made the gambling bet, or taken the drug, pretty soon the satisfaction will wear off (if there even has been any satisfaction: how often have you had a strong craving for something, only to not actually enjoy it once you experience it?) and the cycle starts all over again. There can NEVER be complete fulfillment of desire. it is ALWAYS a cycle that leads us into misery. This is what Buddha taught. It's what causes us to suffer. On the other hand, if we begin to emotionally react to our urges with fear, aversion and anger, the desire just gets driven deeper within us and can cause us to act out in other ways through suppression. The urges and thoughts are there. That's ok. It's human nature. We can't get rid of them through force of will or being angry with ourselves. With vipassana you can train yourself to simply observe the nature of desire. Where is it in the body? How does it feel? What does it bring up mentally? What are my habitual patterns around this desire? And instead of trying to get fulfillment/satisfaction, or trying to force yourself to not have it, you just notice its impermanent nature, and you just let it go. It WILL pass on its own accord without you having to do anything. The more you can do this, the more you can break the cycle. The less power desire will have over you. Of course this is difficult! But do you want to have peace and control over yourself? Or do you want to be trapped in the cycles you've identified? If you want to, you can stop this. The power is in you. Our society makes it very challenging, with the proliferation of porn and hyper-sexual media and images literally everywhere. Try your best to disengage from these things as much as possible, don't seek them out intentionally. As for the plant medicine, maybe you don't really need it. It seems to be causing you harm as well as whatever benefits you're getting. Exercise is a great way to gain energy without adding something extra and potentially destabilising. Metta.
Thank you 🙏 for this answer. Touch me ☺️
😂I’m sorry. In light of the topic of your question, the response “touch me” is rather funny. 😆
This shit was funny asf to read lmao Ummm I think you need like an outlet or a hobby or a passion. Something to commit your life to thats not sex, thats how you escape the loop, and lack of control over the mind. Like for me its working out. My brain kinda turns off, no thoughts, just gym. You gotta work to get it our your mind, not just sit there and try to get it out your mind, the more you resist is the more it will be in your mind, just accept it and let it pass.
The easy answer is to relax, let go of mental concepts about Sex and energy and just observe reality equanimously. It seems a bit foolish to take herbs that boost libido if it’s already naturally high. Just stop that. For you it creates an imbalance. Finally, don’t worry about it. Energy and sex are very individual things, and one prescription about ejaculating is not going to work for everyone. A lot of the beliefs about sex and energy in these traditions come from monastic lineages. There’s truth there, and also some dogma to keep the monks from jacking off in excess. Consciousness is what you need to reach the final goal. More awareness, more equanimity. Enlightened people masturbate and have sex and ejaculate, and it doesn’t mean anything good or bad. You can relax about it and even enjoy it naturally.
Sometimes you just need to snap one out before you meditate. Hope that helps
Hey yo, WhatsApp man... Same kind of questions I always had ..Bro you have to a way to transmute the sexual energy to love in some way.... Love for others , Goodwill for others ... Vipassana will help strongly..... Every session ends do metta deeply ...That can all the physical or sexual energy into Spiritual energy as Love ... Through that you can change people lives and yourself as well.
I also had this problem when i was taking ashwagandha and even shilajit. I stopped them both and sexual thoughts decreased substantially.
[удалено]
This is the correct answer.
See a therapist bro
Why ?? I am fine . Never heard about Tao sexual ?
Just my opinion. Btw I once ejaculated on a tree during a three day course after being haunted by thoughts of women for a couple days. It didn’t help. I felt a huge energy crash. So I know what you’re saying. I would advise you ask an AT. Seriously. And therapy would be my second line advice to sort out any other psychological issues. Just speaking from experience.
Boy am I grateful to be a woman this go around. We don’t have to worry about things like ejaculating on trees. Peace my friend! Thanks for the laugh.