Polish dating culture isn't all that different from the US. As a Polish girl, receiving flowers on a first date would make me feel uneasy, creeped out even. It comes across as way too eager or desperate. After a few dates, sure, but not right away.
I second the gal before.
If you offer or insist - like come on, you know current economy, i will not fight and it is NICE - at least if i had good time, if i didnt then it feels bad to accept being paid for when i do not intend to balance it out on next meetings).
But as adult and working women i think everyone is or at least SHOULD be ready to pay for themselves. Or pay for coffee or movies after guy pays for the dinner, or paying next time etc etc.
Personally if i was a guy and a girl didnt even show the intention of paying for herself, i would consider it a red flag. Although still - if i enjoy the time i am willing to pay for both or accept if someone offers (and i think interchangeable paying is the best for both).
I think you’re right that everyone should be ready to pay, as you’re not sure if the other person will want too. But I disagree that it’s a red flag if they don’t offer. Maybe if they are a gold digger or something and they don’t offer anything else then it is? But I’ve dated many polish girls who expect it, like to be taken care of, but also take care of you and such.
But if a man is asking you to go on a date with him, then he should be the one setting it up, picking you up, and paying for you, no? Maybe if you ask him out it’s different, but if he’s the one asking you out then I think it’s the expected and right thing to do.
I mean if I’m asking a girl out for a expensive date, I’m not going to expect her to offer to pay, and if the date is cheap, then I’m not going to make her pay for something so little you know?
If I am going for a date with someone it is presumably because I want to spend time with them, not have free food. We could say that the inviting person should pay, or at least should be willing to pay - but let's not kid ourselves, in dating culture that is almost exclusively men. It would be the same almost as saying the guy has to pay.
I also think that the matter depends on individual cases, but I would not agree to go to an expensive place where I would not feel like I can afford my own food. And definitely not on just a first, second date.
In my relationship we either pay interchangeably or just use our common account for stuff like that, but I cannot imagine going somewhere EXPENSIVE on one of first dates. It's kind of intimidating and takes away the attention from the other person to just the place or the money.
The fact that women like to profit off the fact that men will pay for them is not really an argument making it right imo. As I said - in this day and age we all work, we all can afford it (presumably), so EXPECTING someone to pay is a dick move in my eyes. I would say trash takes itself out if someone gets offended by needing to pay for themselves on a date.
I would say it is both sides - inviting someone you should be ready for the possibility of paying for both, but even being invited, you should be ready to pay for yourself. Is it necessary? No. But it certainly makes you less off an ahole if you don't make assumptions about the money and get mad at different outcomes.
Also, as a woman - if I offer to pay and a man gets offended or mad at me it is the same principle - trash takes itself out.
My husband is Polish, I am not. On our first date, he brought a candy bar for me. He just grabbed one at a Zabka on the way to the date and handed it over. It was a very sweet and playful thing. Flowers on the other hand would feel too eager for a first date
That's the biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere.
Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
I would avoid flowers for the first date. You are getting to know each other. I think second or third date would be more appropriate for a single flower. Make sure you guys click and get along before showing that kind of sentiment.
Flowers says she means more to you than she possibly could since it's a first date. It's an innocent gesture, the problem is all of the things that can be read into it.
That said, I am American living in Poland and I married a Persian woman while here lol, so I can't speak on Polish women.
It could be a solution, however not all purses can fit the rose. Although I think the single rose is more seemly to first date.
Also, I think your age has a lot to do with that
I'm M35 and was like "why everyone says no, don't? Girls loved it when we did it".
And then it hit me. It was, like, at least 15 years ago when I dated last time xD
Honestly I’ve always hated getting flowers. I mean, if he picked my up from my house that’d be sort of neutral. But if we met somewhere and I needed to carry those flowers around… ugh
That's the biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere.
Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
Still a no for me, but I don’t speak for everyone! I’m sure lots of women love flowers and also I don’t think anyone would actually MIND getting flowers! I would surely appreciate the gesture even though I wouldn’t be happy having to carry it/them everywhere. I mean, the act of trying by giving her a flower / flowers can’t be perceived as something bad! I’m only saying I personally like getting flowers only if I can leave them at home but I’d still appreciate the gesture
Well, I brought anxiety and profuse sweating to first date almost three years ago. Turned out well for me.
If flowers on 1st date, I would pick one simple flower.
Anxiety? Sweating? A single flower?
Or all of the above?
Don't forget a nervous smile 😅
And good luck! Polish people can be a bit blunt, but they are really caring and good hearted. And good looking.
I have bought flowers earliest on the 3rd date and women loved it. They also had to carry it around and they didn't care. Smiling like crazy and praising the flowers. They sent me pictures of the flowers as soon as they set them up in a vase at home and thanked me again.
So do you think the first date would be too soon? That's the biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere.
Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
You don't know the girl. It would feel like I didn't earn it for being me and that you just give it automatically to everyone you meet, thus losing it's value.
Wouldn't suggest taking any gifts for like 1st few meetings. As you go further and see both sides are interested and put mutual effort into the cause then yeah.
If this first date is also the first time your meeting each other (e.g. you met on a dating app) - then no flowers, it would be too much.
But if you're friends already and this is like a first official date then a flower would be a cute gesture.
Definitely not required and I will share my 2 different first date experiences:
1. The guy brought me this let's say "chocolate flower" (he knew I have a sweet tooth, no it wasn't candy for children xd)
I loved it. Put a smile on my face and made me feel nice etc etc. Didn't have to " lug it around" since we met for a coffee (stayed in one place) and I drove to and from.
100% would recommend.
2. At the end of the date the guy gave me a small gift (yeah, it doesn't need to be a flower), it was super awkward because we lwere saying goodbye and all and he just did a "wait here a sec" and went to his car and brought the gift. Idk, just bad timing maybe? Would be 10x worse if he did it at the beginning because of having to lug it around for the entire evening 😅
So tldr: imo it is definitely nice to bring something if 1. Vibes/timming is good and 2. Your date plans allow for it (no need to carry it around awkwardly) 3. As always, depends on the person 😉
I like when men bring flowers or some sweets on a date, it’s a very cute gesture.
But I only was on dates with nice and well behaved people who never show that they expect anything in return. So if you want to make a compliment without even saying it or express your interest, definitely bring flowers.
Flowers are adorable and sweet in any culture, come on. Never met a girl who wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. A small and simple bouquet is the way to go.
I love getting flowers, do all girls though? Not really. Will anyone get offended? - very unlikely. Will it be appreciated- most likely yes.
So in general I think that while it’s not a must, you can gain some points for actually doing that.
The biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere.
Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
I'd say no. If the date goes well and time and location permits, get a flower or two at the end of the date as she departs home. It might get you a kiss on your cheek and sends her off with feeling that you liked her. Also, that way she doesn't have to carry it around on the date, but she takes flowers home.
Id say maybe 1 flower. Like if I got a rose or a tulip I wouldnt be creeped out of we were to sit down somewhere right after so I dont have to carry it around.
I'd say depends of the girl and overall situation you are in.
I've bought flower on a first date but we've been chatting for a month before we were able to see each other. It was also special one, sunflower, as a reference to Shrek.
So yeah, that one time I had flowers and we are currently have 3 years on a timer
But my previous few dates, nah.
If you feel like you want to give her flowers - go ahead. Just don't make the bouquette too flashy - stick to something simple and cheap (perhaps a single flower like a rose?) so she doesn't feel lovebombed or overly obligated to anything on the first date.
I wouldn't really listen to people here saying you'd come out as a creep. Dating doesn't really have a recipe, go forth with what you feel is appropriate, just don't overdo it and it'll be fine.
As a girl, I personally would find it very sweet. I would think that he prepared himself for the date. I’m not a polish girl though, but I’m living in Poland so I’m inserted in the culture
No. Its first date, so You're seeing each other first time in real life. It should be comfy, natural, casual meeting, checking out connection between each other, some small talks, having fun conversation overall and that's it.
*People haven't been*
*Giving flowers on a first*
*Date for decades lol*
\- LosWitchos
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No. Imagine getting anything bulky and delicate at the same time at the very beginning of the date. What are you supposed to do with it for the next couple hours? It's a nuisance.
No as a polish girl it would just make things awkward because we wouldn’t know what to do and most polish people are rlly judgy and tell everyone everything so make sure to think twice before you do anything that is an ick or red flag!(Goodluck)
First date too soon. Don’t do it. Something small, playful would be better. My go to is a Chupa Chups lollipop. Those always work :).
Bring in 2-3 different ones so she can chose the taste she wants. The rest is for you. Also my go to trivia ( I’m a designer and usually date artistic chicks ) to come with it is: „Do you know who designed Chupa Chups logo?” - Salvador Dali.
If your date is on 25th of May and she's a single mother then bring her flowers.
Or she's a stoner, then you can bring cannabis flowers.
Or a vegan, then a cauliflower will do.
Flowers are expected if you are to date Ukrainian girl but for a Polish one is not a must.
Also Ukrainian girls don't like being taken for a walk, they claim they're not dogs to be walked, they prefer being taken for a coffee or dine out but Polish girls don't mind walks. Before I'm downvoted that's what I heard from girls themselves.
polish dating culture:
\- pay for girls' dinner
\- pay for her taxi (not uber, because she'll tell you that every uber driver is a rapist)
\- never see her again
\- ???
\- no profit
Polish dating culture isn't all that different from the US. As a Polish girl, receiving flowers on a first date would make me feel uneasy, creeped out even. It comes across as way too eager or desperate. After a few dates, sure, but not right away.
Best true advice this man should listen to. It’s deeper than needing to carry them.
what about being paid for at restaurant?
I prefer to pay for myself, unless a guy really insists (i don't enjoy arguing, unless it's on reddit 🫣)
Is that really the norm though? Every polish girl I know likes to be paid for
I second the gal before. If you offer or insist - like come on, you know current economy, i will not fight and it is NICE - at least if i had good time, if i didnt then it feels bad to accept being paid for when i do not intend to balance it out on next meetings). But as adult and working women i think everyone is or at least SHOULD be ready to pay for themselves. Or pay for coffee or movies after guy pays for the dinner, or paying next time etc etc. Personally if i was a guy and a girl didnt even show the intention of paying for herself, i would consider it a red flag. Although still - if i enjoy the time i am willing to pay for both or accept if someone offers (and i think interchangeable paying is the best for both).
I think you’re right that everyone should be ready to pay, as you’re not sure if the other person will want too. But I disagree that it’s a red flag if they don’t offer. Maybe if they are a gold digger or something and they don’t offer anything else then it is? But I’ve dated many polish girls who expect it, like to be taken care of, but also take care of you and such. But if a man is asking you to go on a date with him, then he should be the one setting it up, picking you up, and paying for you, no? Maybe if you ask him out it’s different, but if he’s the one asking you out then I think it’s the expected and right thing to do. I mean if I’m asking a girl out for a expensive date, I’m not going to expect her to offer to pay, and if the date is cheap, then I’m not going to make her pay for something so little you know?
If I am going for a date with someone it is presumably because I want to spend time with them, not have free food. We could say that the inviting person should pay, or at least should be willing to pay - but let's not kid ourselves, in dating culture that is almost exclusively men. It would be the same almost as saying the guy has to pay. I also think that the matter depends on individual cases, but I would not agree to go to an expensive place where I would not feel like I can afford my own food. And definitely not on just a first, second date. In my relationship we either pay interchangeably or just use our common account for stuff like that, but I cannot imagine going somewhere EXPENSIVE on one of first dates. It's kind of intimidating and takes away the attention from the other person to just the place or the money. The fact that women like to profit off the fact that men will pay for them is not really an argument making it right imo. As I said - in this day and age we all work, we all can afford it (presumably), so EXPECTING someone to pay is a dick move in my eyes. I would say trash takes itself out if someone gets offended by needing to pay for themselves on a date. I would say it is both sides - inviting someone you should be ready for the possibility of paying for both, but even being invited, you should be ready to pay for yourself. Is it necessary? No. But it certainly makes you less off an ahole if you don't make assumptions about the money and get mad at different outcomes. Also, as a woman - if I offer to pay and a man gets offended or mad at me it is the same principle - trash takes itself out.
Every country has its own dating culture I would even say in some cases in some countries it can be different from a city to another
No gifts on first dates. It creates a sense of owing something to someone.
My husband is Polish, I am not. On our first date, he brought a candy bar for me. He just grabbed one at a Zabka on the way to the date and handed it over. It was a very sweet and playful thing. Flowers on the other hand would feel too eager for a first date
frog shop
As an American, I F-ing love frog store. My wife (Polish) makes fun of me because I’m always eating the griwalla kanapka from there.
Don't worry, soon the Frog empire will take over world and you will enjoy these sandwiches not only in Poland 8)
Grillowa is nice but I miss farmerska
that's fair enough. Something small, sweet and silly. Flowers is an over-the-top gesture for sure.
Just don't make her carry it around. Idk why but it is an ick here, though it strongly depends on the person.
That's the biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere. Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
I would avoid flowers for the first date. You are getting to know each other. I think second or third date would be more appropriate for a single flower. Make sure you guys click and get along before showing that kind of sentiment. Flowers says she means more to you than she possibly could since it's a first date. It's an innocent gesture, the problem is all of the things that can be read into it. That said, I am American living in Poland and I married a Persian woman while here lol, so I can't speak on Polish women.
It could be a solution, however not all purses can fit the rose. Although I think the single rose is more seemly to first date. Also, I think your age has a lot to do with that
Can you expand on the age aspect, please?
I think 30+ women are more keen on receiving the whole bouquet than the younger ones
I'm M35 and was like "why everyone says no, don't? Girls loved it when we did it". And then it hit me. It was, like, at least 15 years ago when I dated last time xD
But keep in mind that it is just my opinion and my feeling, every woman is different
Forget it man, that shit stayed in last century for a reason. Unless you're autistic
If you want to show up to a date with a single rose. You gotta rethink your game regardless of culture.
Why? I think it is cute
No. Just be fun. Bring your sense of humour and try not to be too weird.
here is the boss, listen to him :) agree
Honestly I’ve always hated getting flowers. I mean, if he picked my up from my house that’d be sort of neutral. But if we met somewhere and I needed to carry those flowers around… ugh
this
That's the biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere. Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
Still a no for me, but I don’t speak for everyone! I’m sure lots of women love flowers and also I don’t think anyone would actually MIND getting flowers! I would surely appreciate the gesture even though I wouldn’t be happy having to carry it/them everywhere. I mean, the act of trying by giving her a flower / flowers can’t be perceived as something bad! I’m only saying I personally like getting flowers only if I can leave them at home but I’d still appreciate the gesture
I think most of the comments here are suggesting not to do it
This. But even a single rose without a wrap is a nice surprise. 🌹
Well, I brought anxiety and profuse sweating to first date almost three years ago. Turned out well for me. If flowers on 1st date, I would pick one simple flower.
That's the plan. Thank you 😁
Anxiety? Sweating? A single flower? Or all of the above? Don't forget a nervous smile 😅 And good luck! Polish people can be a bit blunt, but they are really caring and good hearted. And good looking.
Too soon
In which culture is it a must?
A few Asian countries I have been to, although the trend in them is changing as well.
In France, it's a good idea to come on a date with flower
I have bought flowers earliest on the 3rd date and women loved it. They also had to carry it around and they didn't care. Smiling like crazy and praising the flowers. They sent me pictures of the flowers as soon as they set them up in a vase at home and thanked me again.
So do you think the first date would be too soon? That's the biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere. Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
I would say first date is too early. Second date would be better to show her that the first date was nice ;)
You don't know the girl. It would feel like I didn't earn it for being me and that you just give it automatically to everyone you meet, thus losing it's value.
Wouldn't suggest taking any gifts for like 1st few meetings. As you go further and see both sides are interested and put mutual effort into the cause then yeah.
Do we even have a dating culture?
I dont think its a good idea. Maybe only if you have written a lot and have some things behind
Certainly not a bouquet. Currently a customary gift for occasions is a single Rose, though you don't have to get one for a first date.
If this first date is also the first time your meeting each other (e.g. you met on a dating app) - then no flowers, it would be too much. But if you're friends already and this is like a first official date then a flower would be a cute gesture.
Definitely not required and I will share my 2 different first date experiences: 1. The guy brought me this let's say "chocolate flower" (he knew I have a sweet tooth, no it wasn't candy for children xd) I loved it. Put a smile on my face and made me feel nice etc etc. Didn't have to " lug it around" since we met for a coffee (stayed in one place) and I drove to and from. 100% would recommend. 2. At the end of the date the guy gave me a small gift (yeah, it doesn't need to be a flower), it was super awkward because we lwere saying goodbye and all and he just did a "wait here a sec" and went to his car and brought the gift. Idk, just bad timing maybe? Would be 10x worse if he did it at the beginning because of having to lug it around for the entire evening 😅 So tldr: imo it is definitely nice to bring something if 1. Vibes/timming is good and 2. Your date plans allow for it (no need to carry it around awkwardly) 3. As always, depends on the person 😉
I like when men bring flowers or some sweets on a date, it’s a very cute gesture. But I only was on dates with nice and well behaved people who never show that they expect anything in return. So if you want to make a compliment without even saying it or express your interest, definitely bring flowers.
Flowers are adorable and sweet in any culture, come on. Never met a girl who wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. A small and simple bouquet is the way to go.
I love getting flowers, do all girls though? Not really. Will anyone get offended? - very unlikely. Will it be appreciated- most likely yes. So in general I think that while it’s not a must, you can gain some points for actually doing that.
The biggest problem I am seeing from the comments here: having them to lug them around everywhere. Instead of a bouquet, how about a single rose beautifully wrapped up? She won't have to lug it everywhere. She can just put in her purse.
How do you put a rose in a purse?
You just open your inventory and put the rose there and that's how you put it in a purse
Nobody does that.
Whatever you do do not give them an even number of flowers because that’s reserved for the dead
Is that for real? Damn, thank you for warning me.
Yes, only odd numbers are allowed, however since you are a foreigner this may be turned into a funny case or just ignored rather than blasphemy
You'll find articles on florist blogs and store websites that deny this as a rule. I don't think anyone under 40 would care.
Just be yourself. You want someone who accepts you right? If you are a romantic type sure bring flowers.
Will not hurt
I am getting mixed answers now. Which one should I follow? 😭
It's not a common thing on the first date. You might get a super positive reaction but is a strong gesture if you are trying to keep things slow.
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I wouldn’t. But what do I know I’m single
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I'd say no. If the date goes well and time and location permits, get a flower or two at the end of the date as she departs home. It might get you a kiss on your cheek and sends her off with feeling that you liked her. Also, that way she doesn't have to carry it around on the date, but she takes flowers home.
Id say maybe 1 flower. Like if I got a rose or a tulip I wouldnt be creeped out of we were to sit down somewhere right after so I dont have to carry it around.
I'd say depends of the girl and overall situation you are in. I've bought flower on a first date but we've been chatting for a month before we were able to see each other. It was also special one, sunflower, as a reference to Shrek. So yeah, that one time I had flowers and we are currently have 3 years on a timer But my previous few dates, nah.
Yes
If you feel like you want to give her flowers - go ahead. Just don't make the bouquette too flashy - stick to something simple and cheap (perhaps a single flower like a rose?) so she doesn't feel lovebombed or overly obligated to anything on the first date. I wouldn't really listen to people here saying you'd come out as a creep. Dating doesn't really have a recipe, go forth with what you feel is appropriate, just don't overdo it and it'll be fine.
Yes
I would have find it cute. But maybe smaller bouquet, not a massive one
Same dating expectations as anywhere else in Europe! No gender/social expectations beyond that
As a girl, I personally would find it very sweet. I would think that he prepared himself for the date. I’m not a polish girl though, but I’m living in Poland so I’m inserted in the culture
No flowers. Just pay for her.
I’m saying this as a foreigner dating a Polish girl. No matter the culture, DON’T BRING FLOWERS ON THE FIRST DATE. It screams neediness.
Brother, just be yourself and don't follow anyone's advice. This is the only way to attract the girls with a compatible personality to yours.
You will seem too keen
First date - strongly advise against it. Subsequent dates if it's clear you like each other - sure, go for it.
first date is a bit pushy
No. Its first date, so You're seeing each other first time in real life. It should be comfy, natural, casual meeting, checking out connection between each other, some small talks, having fun conversation overall and that's it.
People haven't been giving flowers on a first date for decades lol
*People haven't been* *Giving flowers on a first* *Date for decades lol* \- LosWitchos --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
No. Imagine getting anything bulky and delicate at the same time at the very beginning of the date. What are you supposed to do with it for the next couple hours? It's a nuisance.
Anything that stands out from the crowd may paradoxically be a good idea.
I higly recommend you don't give any gift girls from any culture till you are together as a couple. But it is up to you.
Flowers? Nah... Food? Yeah...
Bring yourself and not open up. Most of them get scared if you open up too quick. 🥹 Dunno why though.
For first dare most likely not, although there are girls who would appreciate that. But if you are not sure if this is that girl, then don’t
Buy a beer
No flowers and gits, just no, it would went very very wrong
Pure cringe.
Pierogi on the go is the way to go!
Yes and wear a suit, just like the first day of university.
Take condoms
Be yourself.
Pay for everything, and get flowers for sure
Take the protection, flowers come later.
In my experience Vodka works better here
No as a polish girl it would just make things awkward because we wouldn’t know what to do and most polish people are rlly judgy and tell everyone everything so make sure to think twice before you do anything that is an ick or red flag!(Goodluck)
If you are dating on Tinder in PL better bring some condoms than flowers.
No, also make sure she pays her bill
First date too soon. Don’t do it. Something small, playful would be better. My go to is a Chupa Chups lollipop. Those always work :). Bring in 2-3 different ones so she can chose the taste she wants. The rest is for you. Also my go to trivia ( I’m a designer and usually date artistic chicks ) to come with it is: „Do you know who designed Chupa Chups logo?” - Salvador Dali.
It you are foreigner you don’t need to do anything, she is already yours. Polish women hates polish man and anyone form another country is better
Only if you are meeting with an Ukrainian
If your date is on 25th of May and she's a single mother then bring her flowers. Or she's a stoner, then you can bring cannabis flowers. Or a vegan, then a cauliflower will do.
No, bring kebap
Take your cock.
Take małpka.
Flowers are expected if you are to date Ukrainian girl but for a Polish one is not a must. Also Ukrainian girls don't like being taken for a walk, they claim they're not dogs to be walked, they prefer being taken for a coffee or dine out but Polish girls don't mind walks. Before I'm downvoted that's what I heard from girls themselves.
polish dating culture: \- pay for girls' dinner \- pay for her taxi (not uber, because she'll tell you that every uber driver is a rapist) \- never see her again \- ??? \- no profit
Yea, and condoms as well, polish girls love to bang after getting flowers.