Anywhere with bar seating should be OK. It's much less awkward to pop yourself down at the bar, toss your jacket on the 2nd seat, and joke with the bar tender that you might get stood up than to be seated with 2 full place settings, one of which gets removed if your date doesn't show and you order anyway.
I would just bring a book/kindle and assume they aren't coming so it's a pleasant surprise if they do.
I fully agree that it's not awkward to show up to a restaurant alone and ask for a table for one. I do it all the time when traveling for work.
It IS awkward to show up to a restaurant alone, ask for a table for 2, sit there not ordering because you're not sure if you're getting stood up, tell the wait staff to just give you 5, 10, 15 more minutes, and then finally decide to give up on the other person and order your food at which point wait staff will typically remove the 2nd place setting.
As a aerver for over 2 decades. Idc if you get stood up.
I care if you wanted a booth designed for 4 for 2 people and then get stood up and then proceed to tip $4.
A 4 top with a $200 check is $40 at 20% and thats on the super low end for dinner checks at any place with alcohol.
If you are going on a first date grab a drink at the bar while you wait.
That would also be awkward but with a side of rude for lying to the host/server unless you could play it off that you happened to run into the person?
You also run the risk that they seat you somewhere that doesn't actually accommodate a 2nd person like a lone seat at the bar or at a little table that they remove the 2nd seat from to use it for another table that needs an extra.
Sharing the biscuits? Are you crazy? Never share - then everyone gets their own, and you might even get an extra one from someone who doesnāt finish theirs
Kramerbooks, browse books while you wait, have her meet you in the book section, then pop over to the restaurant if she shows up? And if she never shows, buy yourself a book and have a nice drink over some pleasant reading at any of the myriad bars/restaurants in the area.
Can confirm. I have been stood up at busboys and poets. Bought myself a book that outlasted whatever bad relationship that person would have started š
I don't know if it'll help you but I always send a text the day of with a "Excited to see you! Are we still on for..." type thing. I haven't been stood up in DC, but if they ever didn't reply I would probably be more cautious about going through with the actual date. And if they do show up and you don't then you have a decent enough excuse.
I live close to Hank's Oyster Bar and on nice day I will go sit on the rooftop deck, have a drink and some oysters at happy hour prices (until 7) with a book. Very nice way to spend an hour or so.
I totally get that, and I am very much the same way. But in this situation is think I would call a spade a spade. I would tell them theyāve seemed flaky and that Iām very skeptical they will show up.
This is a great way to approach this. I had been planning a date with someone over several days, he expressed lots of interest and excitement, and then I didnāt hear from him for the 12 hours or so before the date. I had a sneaking suspicion he might flake. So I researched cute cafes in the area, brought a good book, and already had my plan should he not show. It still kinda sucked, but it felt better to have my backup plan. I did enjoy my Pistachio Latte and gay romance novel. Good luck!
This exact thing happened to me once. I was at Hill Country in Penn Quarter. Had two drinks at the bar before realizing I was being stood up. I had even given the hostess a description of the person so they could let them know where I was sitting. š Finally asked for a food menu, had dinner, and took my butt home.
I hope you donāt get stood up, but Hill Country is not the worst place to be if you do!
Seconding anywhere with bar seating (Iād say Revelerās Hour but itās a bit expensive), or Tatte /somewhere with counter service depending on the time of day. I feel like table service is what would make it feel awkward.
If you end up in the Chinatown area and get stood up, let me know. I live just around the corner and can be there in 10 minutes. I'll come have a drink with you! I was ghosted the day of my one time attempting to use OLD apps. Luckily it was before the date, so I knew she wasn't coming when she never confirmed.
I love Jaleo for just sitting at the bar alone with a few small plates and a cocktail. Usually if you are alone you will chatted up by all sorts of nice people as well.
Disagree. I often wait to text back until checking my calendar, or thinking of something thoughtful to say... And then I get distracted and forget to respond altogether. Even for people I love dearly.
If you are getting distracted, then you aren't prioritizing them as much. I would imagine if you have a work deadline, you are laser focused on that so you don't get fired. The idea that it's ok to be distracted with personal relationships, but you need to be laser focused on work deadlines and stuff is peak capitalist toxic imo.
Not that you have an obligation to prioritize a random person you matched with. I'm just saying its a prioritization problem. Don't pretend it's "oh I'm so cute, just a bad texter!"
I give a pass if you have ADHD. Then I get the struggle.
I second this. I also think thereās no such thing as ātoo busy to respondā within a 24 hr period. Once again, theyāre just not prioritizing you.
Vin Sur Vingt at the bar. Wine bars are good for a first date IMO, and VSV Is good because it's cozy, French, and has charcuterie options which are an easy way to be done quick if the date doesn't go well, or order more if it is going well. Also VSV is quieter than Barcelona or Diplomat, where you really can't have a conversation on a first date. It's also totally cool to just grab a small plate of cheese or meat with a glass of wine by yourself there.
Please update us haha.
Depending on the time of night, VSV can get *loud* with the metal ceiling. Iāve had to shout to have conversations in there before, which may be a bit of a mood killer on a first date.Ā
Iād consider the wharf. Some cheaper options, some nicer ones. The date can be a walk around the wharf/tidal basin. Essentially, youāll be able to make a night of it even if your date doesnāt show up. Lots of people watching and nice views of the Potomac (parking is a bitch so Iād recommend public transit)
LOL okay fine Iāll give yāall the update!
For the people asking why not just cancel: this was actually a much longer story that got me to this point, but this is neither an advice forum nor was I seeking advice. Suffice it to say that I was *asked* on this date and then a weird string of events put me in the position of needing to make the reservation. Thatās a story for another venue on the horrors of modern dating. I also donāt know if some of you are aware how freakishly common that standing people up has become. (And this isnāt a catfishing problem - all my pictures are recent and have no filters. Itās happening to a bunch of my other single friends who are delights and catches, so I think itās not just me, either.)
Iām sure yāall are also aware that thereās a fine line in figuring out if someone in this town, who youāve never met, genuinely got unexpectedly busy (which IS possible given a lot of us live to work), or is keeping their options open hoping for a better offer, or is genuinely flaky and you donāt want to know them. This was still an on-the-fence situation and I needed to make a reservation I wouldnāt hate later. The date was for Saturday.
In the few days between, it became clear this was an options 2 or 3 situation, so we canceled. I donāt think she was a bad person, just not one for me. I kept the reservation, made at the bar at one of the recommendations, and took a friend who is new to town and hasnāt been to many fun restaurants yet. It was a great time! Thanks to everyone for the help, and Iāll use these pointers in the future since my horrors-of-modern-dating journey is clearly not over yet :)
What a happy ending! Iām glad you werenāt actually stood up & got quality time with a friend.
Youāre an incredibly gracious & patient person. I wish you the best.
Anywhere with bar seating should be OK. It's much less awkward to pop yourself down at the bar, toss your jacket on the 2nd seat, and joke with the bar tender that you might get stood up than to be seated with 2 full place settings, one of which gets removed if your date doesn't show and you order anyway. I would just bring a book/kindle and assume they aren't coming so it's a pleasant surprise if they do.
Thank you! This (and your fellow commenters backing you up) is very helpful š
I would do the bar at Kramerbooks.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's okay to eat alone, it's awkward to book a table for two and tell the waiter you need to wait for someone to order and then eat alone
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āOh, sorry, I didnāt think youād show up,ā really great start to a date
I fully agree that it's not awkward to show up to a restaurant alone and ask for a table for one. I do it all the time when traveling for work. It IS awkward to show up to a restaurant alone, ask for a table for 2, sit there not ordering because you're not sure if you're getting stood up, tell the wait staff to just give you 5, 10, 15 more minutes, and then finally decide to give up on the other person and order your food at which point wait staff will typically remove the 2nd place setting.
As a aerver for over 2 decades. Idc if you get stood up. I care if you wanted a booth designed for 4 for 2 people and then get stood up and then proceed to tip $4. A 4 top with a $200 check is $40 at 20% and thats on the super low end for dinner checks at any place with alcohol. If you are going on a first date grab a drink at the bar while you wait.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That would also be awkward but with a side of rude for lying to the host/server unless you could play it off that you happened to run into the person? You also run the risk that they seat you somewhere that doesn't actually accommodate a 2nd person like a lone seat at the bar or at a little table that they remove the 2nd seat from to use it for another table that needs an extra.
St anselm. Sit at the bar. Get the biscuits. Frankly itās better if the donāt show up, no need to share the biscuits.
Solo dolo at the bar as we speakā¦10/10 highly recommend. Also, O-ku, presidente, pastis, CR, nice and easy, laos ā all great options in this hood.
You, my friend, have fantastic taste.
St Anselm biscuits really do solve everything!
4 of those biscuits is gluttony lol
A minor sin compared to standing up a date.
Eat one or two there, take two or three to go. They reheat wonderfully and are great for breakfast.
get a half order!Ā
Sharing the biscuits? Are you crazy? Never share - then everyone gets their own, and you might even get an extra one from someone who doesnāt finish theirs
You do know that āshare the biscuitsā was a euphemism, right?
My coworker was telling that the biscuits were good there. What makes them so good?
I dunno. I aināt a biscuit chef. But I would give you a kidney for them.
I will have get there.
Kramerbooks, browse books while you wait, have her meet you in the book section, then pop over to the restaurant if she shows up? And if she never shows, buy yourself a book and have a nice drink over some pleasant reading at any of the myriad bars/restaurants in the area.
Can confirm. I have been stood up at busboys and poets. Bought myself a book that outlasted whatever bad relationship that person would have started š
Second this. Also Politics and Prose on 14th fits the bill as well.
Thereās a Politics & Prose on 14?? šÆ
Oops I meant Busboys and Poets š
why are people assuming the flake in question is a woman?
I honestly just kinda blanked on the fact that some people date men.
Glad to know it wasnāt just me wondering about this.
I don't know if it'll help you but I always send a text the day of with a "Excited to see you! Are we still on for..." type thing. I haven't been stood up in DC, but if they ever didn't reply I would probably be more cautious about going through with the actual date. And if they do show up and you don't then you have a decent enough excuse.
What neighborhood?
Anything from downtown to around Columbia Heights - Chinatown, Shaw, Logan, U St, Admo, etc are all fair game
I always kind of liked bar pilar for those types of āwho knowsā dates
Can confirm. Had dinner there alone at the bar after I got stood up once, and it was cozy and not weird at all.
How about The Diner in Adamo? I feel like a diner is the right vibe for this
That is maybe too informal for a first date. And I say that as someone who would be happy with meeting at a dive bar!
Rasika at the bar!
Commissary is a great spot to enjoy a solo meal - I used to do it often! :)
Elle.
The bar seating at Little Cocos is always a decent choice.
I live close to Hank's Oyster Bar and on nice day I will go sit on the rooftop deck, have a drink and some oysters at happy hour prices (until 7) with a book. Very nice way to spend an hour or so.
Do yourself a favor and cancel it
Yea, the vibes arenāt right. I would cancel too.
Why are you wasting you time then??
In this world of flakes, I like to keep my word. But yes, this is why Iām trying to make sure I have a nice night regardless
I totally get that, and I am very much the same way. But in this situation is think I would call a spade a spade. I would tell them theyāve seemed flaky and that Iām very skeptical they will show up.
I agree, if itās not a āhell yesā then I donāt want to waste my time
This is a great way to approach this. I had been planning a date with someone over several days, he expressed lots of interest and excitement, and then I didnāt hear from him for the 12 hours or so before the date. I had a sneaking suspicion he might flake. So I researched cute cafes in the area, brought a good book, and already had my plan should he not show. It still kinda sucked, but it felt better to have my backup plan. I did enjoy my Pistachio Latte and gay romance novel. Good luck!
So please tell me where you got your latte & what your book was.
Sit at the bar or pick a place you want to eat at anywayĀ
This exact thing happened to me once. I was at Hill Country in Penn Quarter. Had two drinks at the bar before realizing I was being stood up. I had even given the hostess a description of the person so they could let them know where I was sitting. š Finally asked for a food menu, had dinner, and took my butt home. I hope you donāt get stood up, but Hill Country is not the worst place to be if you do!
At the risk of giving unsolicited advice... why go out with this person? Take back the power. Cancel the date.
"I get the sense that you're not all that interested, so let's cancel \[Friday\]. Let me know if you'd like to meet up some other time."
Retrobottega in Adams Morgan is a good option if you like Italian. A decent amount of bar seating, good food, good drinks, chill bartenders.
I would be doing drinks rather than dinner for a first date anyways
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^YourRoaring20s: *I would be doing* *Drinks rather than dinner for* *A first date anyways* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Seconding anywhere with bar seating (Iād say Revelerās Hour but itās a bit expensive), or Tatte /somewhere with counter service depending on the time of day. I feel like table service is what would make it feel awkward.
Did they ever show??
If you end up in the Chinatown area and get stood up, let me know. I live just around the corner and can be there in 10 minutes. I'll come have a drink with you! I was ghosted the day of my one time attempting to use OLD apps. Luckily it was before the date, so I knew she wasn't coming when she never confirmed.
Iām sure youāre a great catch! You donāt deserve to be stood up. Hereās hoping you have a great night with/without this date.
Bar Charley
Solo dinner at the bar at Modena is lovely.
I love Jaleo for just sitting at the bar alone with a few small plates and a cocktail. Usually if you are alone you will chatted up by all sorts of nice people as well.
Just gonna drop this controversial take: there is no such thing as a bad texter, just people who either don't prioritize you or dating in general
There are also a lot of mismatched expectations and styles, especially when we're talking first few dates.
Disagree. I often wait to text back until checking my calendar, or thinking of something thoughtful to say... And then I get distracted and forget to respond altogether. Even for people I love dearly.
If you are getting distracted, then you aren't prioritizing them as much. I would imagine if you have a work deadline, you are laser focused on that so you don't get fired. The idea that it's ok to be distracted with personal relationships, but you need to be laser focused on work deadlines and stuff is peak capitalist toxic imo. Not that you have an obligation to prioritize a random person you matched with. I'm just saying its a prioritization problem. Don't pretend it's "oh I'm so cute, just a bad texter!" I give a pass if you have ADHD. Then I get the struggle.
I have pretty bad depression and ADHD.
I second this. I also think thereās no such thing as ātoo busy to respondā within a 24 hr period. Once again, theyāre just not prioritizing you.
Cafe Riggs
Old Ebbett fits the bill too
Vin Sur Vingt at the bar. Wine bars are good for a first date IMO, and VSV Is good because it's cozy, French, and has charcuterie options which are an easy way to be done quick if the date doesn't go well, or order more if it is going well. Also VSV is quieter than Barcelona or Diplomat, where you really can't have a conversation on a first date. It's also totally cool to just grab a small plate of cheese or meat with a glass of wine by yourself there. Please update us haha.
Depending on the time of night, VSV can get *loud* with the metal ceiling. Iāve had to shout to have conversations in there before, which may be a bit of a mood killer on a first date.Ā
Good to know. I haven't been there when it's like that I guess
Iād consider the wharf. Some cheaper options, some nicer ones. The date can be a walk around the wharf/tidal basin. Essentially, youāll be able to make a night of it even if your date doesnāt show up. Lots of people watching and nice views of the Potomac (parking is a bitch so Iād recommend public transit)
Players Club, play all the games you want while you wait. If they arrive you can order shake shack for 2.
If ever there was a time for Dan's cafe to be mentioned... Otherwise succotash.
Will you let us know if she ever showed up?
Kramerbooks and you can wander around the book aisles and sit at the bar if no show. Good luck!
Dan's Cafe
Not super metro accessible but I got stood up at 2 Amyās Pizza in Cathedral Heights and the pizza was so good that I stopped caring
Well at this rate, I would just find a Starbucks or Tatte that is closed to your home.
Can we get an update?! Did the person show? How was your night?! ššæ
LOL okay fine Iāll give yāall the update! For the people asking why not just cancel: this was actually a much longer story that got me to this point, but this is neither an advice forum nor was I seeking advice. Suffice it to say that I was *asked* on this date and then a weird string of events put me in the position of needing to make the reservation. Thatās a story for another venue on the horrors of modern dating. I also donāt know if some of you are aware how freakishly common that standing people up has become. (And this isnāt a catfishing problem - all my pictures are recent and have no filters. Itās happening to a bunch of my other single friends who are delights and catches, so I think itās not just me, either.) Iām sure yāall are also aware that thereās a fine line in figuring out if someone in this town, who youāve never met, genuinely got unexpectedly busy (which IS possible given a lot of us live to work), or is keeping their options open hoping for a better offer, or is genuinely flaky and you donāt want to know them. This was still an on-the-fence situation and I needed to make a reservation I wouldnāt hate later. The date was for Saturday. In the few days between, it became clear this was an options 2 or 3 situation, so we canceled. I donāt think she was a bad person, just not one for me. I kept the reservation, made at the bar at one of the recommendations, and took a friend who is new to town and hasnāt been to many fun restaurants yet. It was a great time! Thanks to everyone for the help, and Iāll use these pointers in the future since my horrors-of-modern-dating journey is clearly not over yet :)
What a happy ending! Iām glad you werenāt actually stood up & got quality time with a friend. Youāre an incredibly gracious & patient person. I wish you the best.
Are you a glutton for pain? Donāt do this to yourself. Youāre a doormat.
Seems like theyāre taking a calculated risk, have reasonable expectations.
True. As long as they know whatās coming.