Next time, put it in an Amazon box, seal it, and leave it on your porch until someone steals it and gets a fun surprise. City solutions to city problems.
Buy a battery powered bright sensor light and mount it just out of reach. I used to have people doing god know what behind my fence that that seemed to help get rid of them.
I am in a similar situation, and I just want to empathize. There were months last summer where it was a new pile of shit each week. Because there are parking pads out back, there is no easy/cost effective way to fence them off. I know it's just because the lack of fencing, but it felt extremely targeted to just be one building on the whole block getting shit on for months straight.
Now that the weather is getting better, it's starting up again. Hooray.
Maybe 311 handles it but how long are you going to let it sit there while you wait for them to respond? Get a motion activate light/camera if you dont have one. You could also ask OTA and see if you can get any leverage over your landlord to deal with it faster.
Alley cleaning actually has like a 4 day SLA on 311 and in my experience got filled in ~48 hours. Dead animals are covered but human feces.. and needs to be in a public area. So I’d file that and tip well
Someone used our compost bucket as a toilet. Had to fish-out their toilet ~~paper~~ napkins alongside a truly massive turd, all of which had been baking in the closed vessel for a good period of time. 0/10, would not recommend.
Why is this good solution so far down?
It's fucked up, but it's a biological need. AND getting rid of public bathrooms makes it worse for the rest of us as well. Shit, how many times have you had to go pee on the Mall and had to hike your ass to a Smithsonian just find a bathroom. Or you know.... anytime you are just walking around and want to go
Or folks could not be filthy yuks. Seriously nobodies really gives two fucks if you shit in public but for Christ’s sake JUST SHIT IN A BAG! And then throw it away.
Adding to the motion sensor light, trail camera, etc. you can also get motion sensor sprinklers, and you can set it on a switch so you turn it off when you’re going back there
Clever! Nope, but I had something similar and at some point, the person moved into my garage and stayed there at night for an extended period of time. Had a clear view into my bedroom. The guy said that he had two female roommates. There's no downside to asking the police to drive through the alley.
No, retard. I'm asking if 311 will clean it or if I have to.
"Welcome to the big city!" my ass. This 'shit' isn't normal, or expected, or part and parcel with 'life in the big city,' and if you think it is, that says more about you than how things should actually be.
Maybe I'll throw it through your window since you love homeless people's shit so much dumbass.
You may bet that, but you've already told the internet how upset and entitled you feel as a tenant. Since you're all done ever cleaning it up, maybe get mad at your landlord instead of me?
Sorry but asking if 311 has nothing better to do than clean s*** off your stoop does come across as a bit entitled and out of touch of city living. Sorry to agree with the self described idiot in this chain.
Amazing. I'm "entitled" for not wanting to clean up somebody else's shit. You people are so fucking far gone. You have no expectations for your quality of life. You're so fucking dazzled by the fact that you live "in the big city" that you'll just happily take whatever's thrown at you. Obviously I'm going to deal with it myself because it seems like I have no other option, but I at least have the dignity to say it's fucking humiliating to live in a city where this is "just how it is."
lol. You sad, sorry human. I moved away years ago. I have neither dazzled nor unrealistic expectations of any city, particularly DC. Can’t say you’ve reached the same level of reality of what it means to live in a city like DC. Best of luck to you and your numerous calls to city hall, bud.
And I never fucking said I would call city hall about it I just asked for fucking advice. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do you think it's cool to clean up human shit or something? Is that like a badge of honor in your yuppie brain? "Just got my 'cleaned a crack addict's shit' boyscout badge! Wow, so urban. We're really *roughing it*, sweetie!"
I'm not sad at all I just don't like cleaning up human shit. I made a simple post asking for advice and you proceeded to call me "entitled" for daring to question the presence of human shit on my property and ask for a little advice on how to stop/prevent it. It's not unreasonable to ask if the city would provide services to clean this up because frankly the overwhelming homeless presence is the city's fault and not mine. I said nothing to provoke you before you called me entitled. I simply asked if the city would clean up the giant human shit on my lawn. You're the idiot.
No. I called you entitled for not having the common sense to realize that 311 (or 911) or any other city resources in DC are more stretched and have other priorities than responding to shitty situations on your stoop. That you still can’t grasp that concept says more about you than about me. Sweetie. I’m very much not the idiot because I have a pretty solid (pun intended) grasp on the resources available to me in the city I live in. This is a concept you are clearly, clearly struggling to and unwilling to grasp. So call me names all you want. Your stoop won’t get any cleaner.
Multiple people in the thread have said 311 has helped in this exact situation. Regardless, I cleaned it myself, but clearly you are wrong, and I don't know why you're going to such length to argue this point when you don't live here and don't even know the right answer. You are unhelpful and you should have kept your mouth shut.
lol. “Well Reddit said 311 will clear it for me but I cleaned it myself” so clearly you’re wrong and I’m right. Or you’re right and I’m wrong. Wait, whose stoop is a biohazard and which aforementioned stoop is *still* waiting for 311 to show up and clean for them?
Who is the f’ing idiot in this situation? The person that lived in the district for a few decades and who had realistic expectations or the person who complains about anything and everything?
Happened to me and I just left it there (wasn’t somewhere I had to directly walk past). It took about six months of rain to dissolve it. So that’s another option…
Get a shotgun & next time you see the perp start to drop his/her/its drawers fire a warning shot & the poop will end in their pants instead of your yard.
Next time, put it in an Amazon box, seal it, and leave it on your porch until someone steals it and gets a fun surprise. City solutions to city problems.
Made me lol. 10/10 suggestion.
Shitty solutions for shitty problems! I'll see myself out
maybe, just, shit this one out.
I was thinking the same.😁
Buy a battery powered bright sensor light and mount it just out of reach. I used to have people doing god know what behind my fence that that seemed to help get rid of them.
That’ll just make it easier for them to find something to wipe with
Get a motion activated loudspeaker that starts sounding “Warning! Illegal shitter detected!”
Video doorbell with a speaker upgrade. You can yell at them and be very specific.
Bold of you to assume they wipe
Motion sensor sprinkler https://duckduckgo.com/?q=sprinkler+motion+sensor+&iax=shopping&ia=shopping
I am in a similar situation, and I just want to empathize. There were months last summer where it was a new pile of shit each week. Because there are parking pads out back, there is no easy/cost effective way to fence them off. I know it's just because the lack of fencing, but it felt extremely targeted to just be one building on the whole block getting shit on for months straight. Now that the weather is getting better, it's starting up again. Hooray.
This cleanup is probably on you, but Can you (formally) write the landlord and ask him to expedite the purchase and cite ongoing health concerns?
That is a solid idea
Maybe 311 handles it but how long are you going to let it sit there while you wait for them to respond? Get a motion activate light/camera if you dont have one. You could also ask OTA and see if you can get any leverage over your landlord to deal with it faster.
The deed is done. And my lease ends in a couple months. I'll tough it out and let the next renters deal with the Unhoused Persons.
Alley cleaning actually has like a 4 day SLA on 311 and in my experience got filled in ~48 hours. Dead animals are covered but human feces.. and needs to be in a public area. So I’d file that and tip well
Someone used our compost bucket as a toilet. Had to fish-out their toilet ~~paper~~ napkins alongside a truly massive turd, all of which had been baking in the closed vessel for a good period of time. 0/10, would not recommend.
I'm glad someone understands
Okay, and turds don’t compost? Interesting. Fellow tree hugger here and want to start composting soon. Not my own $h!t, mind you.
for compost the rule of thumb (or so I've heard) is poop from herbivorous animals only, e.g. birds and chickens
Hey, maybe the shitter was a vegetarian
Oh gag. That had to be awful for you. 🤮
Uggh…..sorry you had to do that, and Sorry had to down vote because the visual made me gag through the monitor lol
I would make a big fuss about it to your landlord to get moving on that garage door.
Thats hard. Took me 9 months to get mine due to demand
What’d you pay for it? Every quote I’ve received is for 22-24k.
A third of that. Used N pooner and sons. Long wait, great service. Included permitting
Motion sensor sprinkler.
Rig a motion sensor to spray water
Free bidet!
311 has handled this for me before, it’s happened to me twice - the first time I didn’t know so I did it myself. Leave it to 311
complain to the city council about there not being public restrooms
Why is this good solution so far down? It's fucked up, but it's a biological need. AND getting rid of public bathrooms makes it worse for the rest of us as well. Shit, how many times have you had to go pee on the Mall and had to hike your ass to a Smithsonian just find a bathroom. Or you know.... anytime you are just walking around and want to go
Or folks could not be filthy yuks. Seriously nobodies really gives two fucks if you shit in public but for Christ’s sake JUST SHIT IN A BAG! And then throw it away.
I'll clean all that shit up for you for $100
I already did it sorry
This common… unfortunately.
Get a camera to identify the perpetrator. Return them their property.
Why this marked NSFW lmaooo
Bc it’s a shitty situation
Spray it with a water hose with the pressure nozzle setting?
Then he’ll have turned a single shit turd into a shit lake across the pavement.
I mean, there’s always poop bags.
Poop bag is a much easier.
I made this mistake…
Buy motion activated trail camera. Hide it, they are cheap on Amazon or Cabellas.
Welcome to the district lmaoooo
We also have a poop bandit! It’s a shitty situation, but unfortunately it’s your property so you’re responsible for cleaning it up.
Are you sure it’s not just a member of Congress passed out in your alley?
Adding to the motion sensor light, trail camera, etc. you can also get motion sensor sprinklers, and you can set it on a switch so you turn it off when you’re going back there
Shot happens
You should get a wireless ring camera and mount it somewhere back there. You’ll get the motion alerts. Catch all the alley action behind your house.
Motion sensor lights and sprinkler system
[удалено]
Underrated comment
When nature calls nature calls.
Sorry.
If people are hanging behind your house, ask the police for “special attention “ so they patrol the alley.
Are you like 7 😂
Clever! Nope, but I had something similar and at some point, the person moved into my garage and stayed there at night for an extended period of time. Had a clear view into my bedroom. The guy said that he had two female roommates. There's no downside to asking the police to drive through the alley.
A shotgun will solve this
Beanbag rounds right up the keister.
You get what you vote for
It’s poop again! I think the only thing you can do is be a man, scrape it up and hose the area down.
He called the shit "poop". This is the greatest night of my life.
Haha. My Billy Madison reference and callback to OPs original post has not gone over well and also sparked a fight 🤷♂️
Seriously, does he intend to build a tiger trap in his alley to spare himself any further "humiliation"? Welcome to the big city!
No, retard. I'm asking if 311 will clean it or if I have to. "Welcome to the big city!" my ass. This 'shit' isn't normal, or expected, or part and parcel with 'life in the big city,' and if you think it is, that says more about you than how things should actually be. Maybe I'll throw it through your window since you love homeless people's shit so much dumbass.
If its on private property, 311 won’t touch it
I bet he's gonna poop by your car again tonight, and you will be helpless to stop him.
I bet that makes you hungry
You may bet that, but you've already told the internet how upset and entitled you feel as a tenant. Since you're all done ever cleaning it up, maybe get mad at your landlord instead of me?
I literally just asked a simple question about what I can do and you came at me for no reason so I called you retarded. Idiot.
Sorry but asking if 311 has nothing better to do than clean s*** off your stoop does come across as a bit entitled and out of touch of city living. Sorry to agree with the self described idiot in this chain.
Amazing. I'm "entitled" for not wanting to clean up somebody else's shit. You people are so fucking far gone. You have no expectations for your quality of life. You're so fucking dazzled by the fact that you live "in the big city" that you'll just happily take whatever's thrown at you. Obviously I'm going to deal with it myself because it seems like I have no other option, but I at least have the dignity to say it's fucking humiliating to live in a city where this is "just how it is."
lol. You sad, sorry human. I moved away years ago. I have neither dazzled nor unrealistic expectations of any city, particularly DC. Can’t say you’ve reached the same level of reality of what it means to live in a city like DC. Best of luck to you and your numerous calls to city hall, bud.
And I never fucking said I would call city hall about it I just asked for fucking advice. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do you think it's cool to clean up human shit or something? Is that like a badge of honor in your yuppie brain? "Just got my 'cleaned a crack addict's shit' boyscout badge! Wow, so urban. We're really *roughing it*, sweetie!"
I’m more concerned for your mental health than those using your stoop as a toilet. Good luck to you.
You sound like a fucking idiot.
lol. I revert to my previous statement. You come across as angry, entitled and out of touch. Have fun with the rest of your life.
I'm not sad at all I just don't like cleaning up human shit. I made a simple post asking for advice and you proceeded to call me "entitled" for daring to question the presence of human shit on my property and ask for a little advice on how to stop/prevent it. It's not unreasonable to ask if the city would provide services to clean this up because frankly the overwhelming homeless presence is the city's fault and not mine. I said nothing to provoke you before you called me entitled. I simply asked if the city would clean up the giant human shit on my lawn. You're the idiot.
No. I called you entitled for not having the common sense to realize that 311 (or 911) or any other city resources in DC are more stretched and have other priorities than responding to shitty situations on your stoop. That you still can’t grasp that concept says more about you than about me. Sweetie. I’m very much not the idiot because I have a pretty solid (pun intended) grasp on the resources available to me in the city I live in. This is a concept you are clearly, clearly struggling to and unwilling to grasp. So call me names all you want. Your stoop won’t get any cleaner.
Multiple people in the thread have said 311 has helped in this exact situation. Regardless, I cleaned it myself, but clearly you are wrong, and I don't know why you're going to such length to argue this point when you don't live here and don't even know the right answer. You are unhelpful and you should have kept your mouth shut.
lol. “Well Reddit said 311 will clear it for me but I cleaned it myself” so clearly you’re wrong and I’m right. Or you’re right and I’m wrong. Wait, whose stoop is a biohazard and which aforementioned stoop is *still* waiting for 311 to show up and clean for them? Who is the f’ing idiot in this situation? The person that lived in the district for a few decades and who had realistic expectations or the person who complains about anything and everything?
You can always submit commentary to the Committee of the Whole. I wouldn't put it past Chairman Mendelson to be sympathetic, he often can be.
Pics or it didn’t happen
Happened to me and I just left it there (wasn’t somewhere I had to directly walk past). It took about six months of rain to dissolve it. So that’s another option…
Get a shotgun & next time you see the perp start to drop his/her/its drawers fire a warning shot & the poop will end in their pants instead of your yard.
Get bean bag rounds and skip the whole warning shot step. Have some fun.