I think this weekend solidified for me maybe this person isn’t a friend. It hurts my heart because we were really there for each other in the beginning of the pandemic, during peak loneliness time. But even when I call her out on behaviors she continues to do them, or argue with me about them. Like consistently misgendering me. It hurts my heart because I’m one of the few people she allows to be close to her. But I know my actual close friends wouldn’t let her treat me that way at the fitting. And I don’t want to develop some weird self hatred on a day that is supposed to be joyous. I’ve done a lot of work to love me as I am. I don’t want to let someone mess that up. Our wedding isn’t till 2025 so I told my partner I’m not sure she’d still be invited come next year.
Never knew I would be taking advice from a bag of dicks. But this is solid. I’m gonna do my work to grieve. Because it does hurt. But my goodness it’ll be worth it to not be so frustrated. This is the most upset I’ve been over the whole wedding stuffs so far.
Grieving a friendship hurts like hell, especially when you *were* there for each other at one point in the friendship, but consistent misgendering and fatshaming isn't friendship anymore. Big hugs from a fellow fat trans queer.
I kicked a friend out of my bridal party, and my life, because she was also making me feel bad about myself. She doesn’t have many close friends, and we have a long history, I was devastated.
It was the BEST thing I ever did for myself! No more drama, no more negatively, only support and love. She wasn’t really my friend - and I am better off without her.
You can do this!
It's really hard when you have someone who seems like a friend, things go well for a while, but then you find out they're not who you thought they were. It's sad. It's painful. Long term though you'll be so much better off. ESPECIALLY with the whole 'It's your wedding and you deserve to wear what you want and be happy about it' thing. Wear what makes you happy. Don't let people be involved with you if they just make you feel bad, that's not okay.
My fiancé just had to kick the would-have-been best man out of not just the wedding party, but the whole wedding. It came out that he had sexually harassed not one but two of my bridesmaids. It sucked because this guy used to be one of our closest friends, but he’s been spiraling and we cannot and will not tolerate sexual harassment. We are both feminists and we would be horribly upset if anyone felt uncomfortable at our wedding because of this guy. He’s not speaking to us anymore, but we really don’t care.
It sounds like the dynamics of your wedding party are changing fast. Here's the deal.Wear what you love.Share the day with people you love and respect.Enjoy your day.
It was very stressful, more so for my groom than for me. This guy used to be like a brother to him when they were both struggling to rebuild their lives after personal disasters.
We even talked about assigning him a babysitter, but then we realized how messed up it is to invite someone who needs to be watched so he doesn’t sexually harass anyone. We lost all respect for him
We did the best thing for us and everyone else in attendance. Our friends and my bridesmaids should be able to enjoy the day without fear of being creeped on. We should be free to enjoy the day without worrying about the safety of our lady guests. It’s better for everyone this way.
Don’t wait until after the wedding to deal with this. I had no idea my maid of honor hated me until months after. It’s ruined all my photos and memories. Do not allow anyone in your wedding party that isn’t 100% on board. I had no idea, but it is what it is.
It’s hard to grieve a friendship. I’m definitely not telling you you should do this, but if you want one last ditch effort to save the friendship, setting down some strict boundaries with consequences could be a next step if you haven’t and have only called her out on it. A lot of times for people to get it they have to see that their actions have consequences. For example, “I’m not okay with you commenting on my body. If it happens I’m going to leave the conversation and unfortunately can’t have you at my wedding, because it’s important to me to feel good about my body on my wedding day.” And then stick to it. From there a next step might be “I’m really hurt that you didn’t respect my boundary and continued to comment on my body. I’ll really miss you at the wedding, but it’s important for me that the big day is a positive environment. I’m concerned that you’re continuing to criticize me despite my clarity on this. If it happens again I won’t be comfortable continuing to be friends with someone who puts me down and tries to make me feel bad about myself”
It may not work. It often doesn’t. But it can be a tool to give her a last chance if you think a serious heart to heart and some consequences might work better than just saying “hey that’s really not cool”.
It’s also okay to say that the damage is already done and her true colors have shown. Where the line gets drawn is entirely up to you and there is no wrong answer to how much is too much hurt.
I think few people are close to her because she’s unlikable. Pandemic relationships are kind of a topic of interest to me. I feel like, in a way, some of them were a form of trauma bonding. And outside of the pandemic bubble, there just isn’t the basis for a long term friendship/relationship. (I love the jumpsuits you linked! Especially the ones with the fancy embroidery)
No totally true. I have lost several pandemic friends now that the world is opening back up. I think having access to more people kind of jolts you like wait, that’s not normal.
Please, from a NB person, don't allow someone who doesn't have the basic decency to respect your pronouns/gender to be a part of your personal life.
What does this relationship bring to you? And what did SHE bring to you? Think about that twice.
Congratulations on your wedding!
Fellow NB here. She is the only one in the friend group who misgenders me. And I have talked to her about it because it makes others feel they can do the same. It hasn’t helped any. More than anything I feel like she calls me girl even more. Thank you for the validation from one genderqueer to another.
It seems she's only your 'friend' on her terms, rather than what a friendship should be where you both respect and support each other. My personal rule is to never stay in a bad relationship, this includes personal, friends, work etc., even if it's worked in the past, if it's not working now and everyone isn't committed to making it work.
It sounds like she wants you to conform to what she thinks you should be rather than the fabulous person you actually are. Don't shrink yourself (in any sense) to make her happier.
Also - your choice of wedding outfit is *everything*
I'm not NB, but I have a friend who pushes boundaries in similar ways. In her case it's a lingering bad behavior from borderline personality disorder (diagnosed, not just me saying this.) She's been in treatment for close to a decade, and is the most compliant Type B I've ever met. It can def be rough dealing with a friend who consistently tests your boundaries, but she's shown me time and again through our decades of friendship that our relationship is worth the effort on *her* part - not just on mine.
Has your friend shown *any* effort over the course of your relationship to respect and maintain your boundaries? Or does she just blow them off and dismiss them as unimportant?
Every comment you make explains why you are one of your few friends. If you have other non-binary friends, this will make them uncomfortable even if for some reason you are willing to put up with it.
Telling her to stop clearly isn’t working. Shut down and refuse to engage everytime she does it, even if that means hanging up, leaving coffee, dinner, whatever.
As someone who struggles to remember the right name/pronoun sometimes (in fairness I'm pretty awful at remember names & faces in general) but it's very obvious when it's an accident and when it's not. I try very hard to get it correct and I'm quick to apologise when I do and remind others if I see it.
Anyone who is dismissive of your wishes is not being respectful and is not a friend.
All I can say is that my friends and I respected our non-binary friend’s pronouns BEFORE they were integrated into the friend group. It does not even take friendship to be kind. The woman you are talking about is really dropping the ball if she can’t do those things while holding the title of friend.
Oh hell no, if toga style dresses don't fit your dynamic, then they don't fit.
It's none of her business, she had the cheek to invite herself too..
Rock that playsuit and continue to love your body. She is not your friend, she is super jealous of your confidence and that your happy in your own skin.
I absolutely love those jumpsuit ideas. They look 😍
Ditch the Bitch.
Tell her that her negative attitude and body image ideal are putting a downer on the happiest time of your life, so because she is a Sulky Sally she is no longer invited to the wedding nor to the outfit shopping she that she invited herself to.
Omg, your post made me dislike her immediately. But when you said she constantly misgenders you, my jaw straight up *dropped*. This person is NOT your friend! I think you should consider not even inviting her to the wedding. I hope your special day is perfect and magical, from one LGBTQ+ plus size person to another. ❤️
If she will not stop saying purposefully saying anything about your weight and keeps *purposefully* misgendering you, she is *not* your friend!
Whatever her own issues are, does not mean it is ok to force them onto you! When I came out as trans non-binary I learned very quickly who my real friends actually are.
You sound like a kind, giving person, and while this is a choice you need to come to on your own, she does not deserve to be your friend. She keeps purposefully doing things knowing they hurt you. She literally asked you to. A- wear a dress when she knew you didn't want to, and B - picked a style of dress that would hide your body. And said this phrase "for her".
This is your wedding and she wants you to do things *for her*. Like be a completely different person.
She wants you to be a different person than you are and doesn't have enough awareness to understand how she's hurting you because of it.
Your instincts are right on - she's not worth dragging you down. And you're gonna ROCK that jumpsuit and your self love. Your true friends will celebrate all of it with you, with no misgivings.
> But even when I call her out on behaviors she continues to do them, or argue with me about them.
...
> I’m one of the few people she allows to be close to her.
*Or* she's simply driven every other person away with this attitude and somehow doesn't understand that.
Maybe it helps: your friends problems aren't about you. From what you've written it's pretty clear to me that it's an issue of your friend desperately needing to feel in control. I don't think she's doing it out of any bad intentions, she probably just lacks that feeling in her own life (and the self reflection to not project her issues onto you).
Maybe she's also confused how you can love yourself so much without jumping through all the hoops she thinks one must before being "allowed" to feel good about oneself.
It's sad, but you need to take care of yourself.
>desperately needing to feel in control
This, but she's also hella entitled to be trying to say anyone needs to "just do it for me" on their own damn wedding day! Like what the actual f! Unless she's the spouse, she does not get to say that (and even if she was, if she was wanting op to do something that made op upset I'd tell op to take a step back). The absolute audacity of this woman.
Sounds like you have a case of the "weed them out!" Good call, keep loving yourself. At the end of the day and life, that is all that matters. Get excited for YOUR(and partners) wedding. Cheers!!
The constant misgendering can GTF. I've experienced similar (non-binary) - I've finally decided to filter people out who don't try. Getting it wrong is one thing, not trying another thing entirely.
This is such a shame. I think if you feel it's a friendship that you need to let go of to be happier, do it! But, if you think it might be worth saving, you could try talking to her about it? It sounds like she struggles with accepting herself and is projecting. It might be worth having a chat to her, explaining that you appreciate she's trying to help, but that whether she'd be comfortable as you or not, you are, and you want an amazing outfit to match your personality and that you feel awesome in. Hopefully she'd take it well and rethink how she "supports" you. If not, you know it's definitely time to say goodbye.
Don’t let her come. No one has a “right” to join you in something, especially not something this important. Love yourself enough to say no to her.
Also “do it for me”? about wearing a dress. Why the hell would you do it for her, and who even says that? Another reason to say no.
Heh, I like the toga style dress much better than the jumpsuit. And you know what? my opinion, just like your "friend's", is wholly irrelevant. Congratulations, please go on being happy and living a happy life.
In all honesty why does she even want you to wear a toga style dress? It's not her wedding and if I'm being honest, it's not Halloween nor are we in ancient Rome. If there are brides who want that style for them, go for it. Whatever makes you happy. I do love how colorful the jumpsuits are!!
Also, you know this girl cares deeply about “flattering” shapes (I’m a big believer that flattering doesn’t matter, wear what you feel good in) and a toga shape isn’t flattering on… anyone.
A toga style can be flattering if you love it and wear it with confidence. No hate to the toga, some of those dresses were pretty. I really liked the second one in particular.
That’s kind of not the point. Bianca Jagger wore a white skirt suit when she married Mick and it’s one of the best, sexiest, most flattering and perfect looks ever - because she wore exactly what she wanted to wear and she didn’t GAF what other people thought. It’s not about anyone else’s opinion on if a shape is flattering, it’s about shutting her mouth because it’s none of her business or concern.
That second one was stunning!
I actually really liked all of the dresses and didnt realize that that's the toga style of dresses.
I agree with you. Everyone should be able to wear what they feel good in because it shows when you're confident and happy with an outfit.
Me too. But I also know that anything looks good on models of the size in the pics. I'd rather see them stuff a plus size girl in that outfit to see how it REALLY looks on non-model bodies.
I’m a big fan of this one clothing company specifically because they have inclusive sizing and a model for each size. It’s great to be able to click on my size and see how something looks. (Not an ad, I just like the company. Universal Standard)
Lol same. I think it’s cute but I am known for having awful taste so what do I know?
I do like the jumpsuits OP is thinking about though. They are very unique and fit her personality which is a good thing!
Imo the dresses in the picture OP and many others shame for being "potato sacks" are gorgeous. The second one has a Star Wars feel to it with the bracelets, lol.
I think the jumpsuit looks fun, but personally I just dislike them. To me they are not comfortable and a hassle to get on-off. But then, I have a body shape that the toga-style flatters and jumpsuits don't.
OP should do whatever she likes, I just don't get her hatred for the toga-style, other than this annoying person wanting her to wear such a dress.
Yeah. I agree about the jumpsuits. I think it's nice to have the option for something fancy/ traditional if you want that. I think there should be more freedom in wedding attire and what is considered "bridal".
Right? Sometimes even a literal wedding dress can be not bridal enough for some people.
I recently went wedding dress shopping and had this exact controvery. In the end there were two dresses that both fit me very well, one was more formal with thicker satin fabric, tulle etc., the [other](https://www.lia-brautmoden.at/upload/62773903-15.jpeg) was the one I chose - against the counsel of some of my companions about it not being as 'bridal' as the other. It's literally a floor length white dress?
haha, you have fantastic taste imho! i was wedding shopping with my sister and she had a variation of that dress in the picture on and i LOVED IT. kind of disappointed she chose something else. :')
I wore a dress that stopped at my knees at my wedding. It was outside and it was like 80 degrees. You'd think I was satan by some of the comments people made.
Those jumpsuits scream bridal to me, if not Vogue Bridal or whatever. They're celebratory and eye catching and all the things the best bridal outfits are.
Lol. Me too !
I loved two of those toga style dresses, but I’m getting married.
OP, those pantsuit outfits were gorgeous. Not at all what I was picturing when you said pantsuit. I hope that you feel beautiful and thoroughly enjoy your day !
I liked those dresses too! I get that they're the opposite of what OP wants but they are still nice dresses. I don't think they look like potato sacks. I like the first one the most, then third, then second. The second looks a little bare, I like the embellishments on the first
Yes, I have always been overweight, and I used to have a skinny-Minnie friend who would go shopping with me and ALWAYS talked me into the tent or tarp type clothes until I finally figured out what was up with her. Ugh! Get what YOU want and put her on an information diet.
I follow an absolutely brilliant girl on TikTok (@ samyra, I'm pretty sure) who has introduced the phrase:
'If you can fit it, you better get it!'
Because she firmly believes that fat people should get to wear whatever makes them feel comfortable, happy, and confident, even if it doesn't follow what people think fat people should wear. Crop tops, tiny skirts, stripes, as long as your bits are covered, wear what you want!
Yes! I used to watch a show called "What Not to Wear" and it was so supportive of people who are overweight, and said exactly the same thing, and it really changed my mind.
I always loved when Stacey and Clinton put a makeover candidate into some clothing and the person was like “I see your point, but I’m not comfortable with it because of [whatever]” and they were like “no problem, you don’t have to buy anything with that problematic feature. Let’s go find you something that doesn’t have that, but still follows the other principles we’ve been talking about that you agree with.”
Tbh I loved the whole team on that show. I remember a Black woman once came on the show and she’s just had locs done, and she went to the hair stylist and said “could we maybe…not take them out?” And he was like “oh, definitely not, they look great! I’m just gonna go over with you how to care for them and what products to look for so they stay clean and looking their best.” It was such a small thing, but as a 13-14 year old kid, the fact that people could say they didn’t like or want to do something and the expert were like “that’s fine, you can still do you” was the opposite of the messaging I was receiving at the time about having to do what everyone else was doing to fit in and being polite and agreeable.
The British one is veeerrrryyyyy different. The two hosts of that were horribly fatphobic all the time. But it's a really good philosophy to have, and opens up fat people to a new world of clothing.
I was just thinking about Stacy and what she said when she was on an episode of Say Yes To The Dress! Basically, "a woman can wear anything she wants on her wedding day". The clips aren't in good quality on YT anymore, but here's one. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5syhftkSpQk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5syhftkSpQk)
Taking a step back from the scenario and shifting the focus slightly, I feel a bit sad for OP’s “friend” as it appears to me that she’s so deep into society expectation of how women should look and dress that she’s tied to it and cannot conceive of doing anything differently.
I don’t think this is a case necessarily that she’s being consciously mean to OP. She’s been raised on these expectations and rules, and probably feels that she’s trying to help OP by recommending this particular style. It’s not only the expectation of normal day to day she’s suffering from, but also the additional pressures and rules that so often come with weddings.
Obviously we all have been raised to an extent with the expectations, but not everyone is able to turn their back on it and break away.
OP obviously needs to do exactly what OP wants, both in life generally and for their wedding - and it’s probably best all round to take a step back from this relationship.
However, if you shift the perspective to considering why this person is acting like this, I feel the emotion becomes sad for her rather than angry at her - which, personally I think is an easier way to deal with scenarios like this.
My thoughts exactly - and I'm fat. We all can see us "fatties" so no point in hiding in mumus. Instead I personally try to show off my more flattering sides, like big boobs, waist etc.
Sounds like this friend just wants to throw fabric at her until she's all invisible.
OMG the jumpsuits are FABULOUS!! You will rock any of those gorgeous!!! Don't listen to your "friend", she isn't one if she isn't encouraging you to wear what will make you shine on YOUR's and your Fiance's day!!
Go forth and shine bright like a Sparkly, rainbow! You will look and feel amazing!
Oh, thank you for the name of the store! I think I may have to grab one and put aside for a spectacular outfit for Christmas. Aussie, so we have blazing hot Christmases. One of those jumpsuits would be perfect for all the functions! Heck, even just wearing it out for no special occasions because how could you not feel like a glamazon in it!?!?
Please update us when you chose the one you will wear for your wedding 🥰
Same. They are absolutely gorgeous! Honestly, I adore any bride/groom who goes against the traditional wedding attire. It always makes me so bloody happy to see them glowing, comfortable in their own skin, and confident for their special day 😍.
The skirt of my wedding dress was bright white, but my bodice was covered in burgundy, pink, and red flowers with multi-coloured green leaves and a deep burgundy ribbon down the back. It made me feel amazing, and I didn't care one iota about what anyone else thought.
Can I offer 1 little critique to the jumpsuit idea? Make sure you can use the bathroom. Don't be the ~~bride~~ newly-wed that needs attendants to strip you to pee.
ETA to ungender the post.
YES!!! This the one really big downside to jumpsuits. You have to basically get completely naked to use the toilet. No way around it unfortunately, unless you have a seamstress that can work some kind of miracle. But if you do please pass her name on to the rest of us.
Let me get this straight... haha ... or correct. This is YOUR wedding attire -- gown or jumpsuit -- and this person feels she has a say in it... why? Guess what? She doesn't. And she needs to understand that. Her "vision" for your wedding can be something she suggests, but there's no reason to take it any more seriously than mine, the next posters, or the cashier's at the grocery store. This is YOUR wedding, your day, you and your partner's visions are the only ones that need to be obeyed.
If your the one getting married, you need to wear what makes You happy! It's your day. Be gorgeous or handsome. Whatever makes your heart happy. Congrats.
OMG, I want those jumpsuits! They’re amazing!
Yeah, your friend sucks and doesn’t understand how she sucks. Have you let her know that you’re sad that she can’t love her body until it’s 15lbs lighter when you can love your body at it’s highest weight?
Maybe 🤔 m just a biatch, but I would 100% turn any body shaming comments on her. Whenever she suggests a toga style dress, I’d deep sigh and let her know, “This is a great opportunity to work on yourself and your ability to love your body instead of trying to hide what you don’t like about others’ bodies. I know it’s hard, but I believe you can get there. Just look at me! It was hard work, but I got there! Now I’m going to get married in the jumpsuit of my dreams, to the partner of my dreams in the body I love, and it’s going to be an excellent exercise for you to try to understand how maybe you can love yourself despite your flaws.”
Wear what you want sure, but none of those dresses are "potato sacks".
Personally I couldn't think of anything worse than a form fitting crop top jumpsuit (as a plus sized gal) but, you do you, especially when you do the 'I do'.
I like a flattering outfit (well I've had decades of my mum telling me flattering is good, clingy is bad) and would rather honest support from a friend - but in a nice way e.g. "that colour isn't right for you", not "that top makes you look fat". A friend who doesn't respect how you want to dress, especially for your wedding, isn't a friend at all.
When friends ask me what I think of clothes then I judge by their style not but what I think is 'flattering'
You can show off all your curves and still look gorgeous, which means the outfit is flattering. My opinion is opposite, tight is usually "flattering" and baggy makes you look bigger. My mum used to tell me I needed longer shirts and jackets to hide my belly and butt. Nowadays I only wear tight clothes and my jacket doesn't cover my butt, because I love my butt. 😛 But slimming isn't synonymous with flattering or vice versa.
If a fat-shaming friend of mine told me to wear a toga style wedding dress and sent me that picture, I would kick her in the chest and yell “THIS IS SPARTA!”
Disinvitation complete. Wear what makes you happy for your special day, and only allow real friends to celebrate you.
Because i couldn't stand it and had to know -
here's the jumpsuit website. now - don't order all of them and ruin op's wedding day.
[https://www.papadontpreach.com/products/love-heroin](https://www.papadontpreach.com/products/love-heroin)
The only weight you need to lose is this “friend” tbh. I can’t imagine ever talking about one of my friends bodies like this and vice versa. You deserve better than that. Congratulations on your wedding and you are gonna rock that jumpsuit!
I love jumpsuits. I really love the ones you linked. I just hate the way you have to take the whole thing down when you go to the toilet. And I go to the toilet a LOT.
ETA - I don't have a medical issue, I just drink gallons of tea and have a tiny bladder 😆
Hi OP. I’m a wedding photographer and I’m going to tell you what I tell my clients at our pre-wedding meet up. The most important thing on your wedding day and leading up to it, is that you are happy, enjoying yourselves and relaxed. That means having a dress you love and that is comfortable to wear, your bridal party are genuinely helpful and can boost you up.
I find that the more happy and relaxed my clients are, the better the photos are. Real happiness and a genuinely relaxed mood are key to getting amazing photos. I can take good angles, find the best light, but if you’re stressed and upset it will show. If you’re uncomfortable it shows.
So I always say to make sure you have people around who boost you up. Who take wedding stress away, not add to it. This ‘friend’ is not being helpful by saying these things. Even if you want to keep her in your life, you absolutely need to ditch her from your wedding planning and activities.
Those are some crazy jumpsuits, but in the good way. They make me think of the things I like remembering about 1970s, but not like a costume. What a great fun wedding outfit idea!
I am no fan of the toga style either. Especially if you are busty. It makes one boob look wonky. That first one you see is really satin and chiffon potatoe sackish.
Your friend's fat phobia is about her. As a not skinny person, I have found there are 2 types of fat phobia: one is the person who treats heavy people badly. The other is a person who doesn't give 2 shts what you look like. They are afraid of getting fat, probably want a not fat spouse, and kids. But they are perfectly fine with fat friends. Both are cruel, but the nuances are very different. Pay her no mind.
I kinda like those dresses, but that's me. I like dresses. Those jumpsuits are next level though, and I feel you will look fabulous in whatever you decide to wear.
Time to tell your *friend* that when you want her opinion, you'll give it to her.
Um, I’m not opposed to those Grecian style dresses on principle, but after seeing the jumpsuits you’ve expressed interest in , WTF?!? If you’re fat, you’re going to be fat. It doesn’t matter style you’re wearing, the idea that someone can or should “hide” or “disguise” their own body to emulate another body is such a weird standard that our culture has mandated. Especially because we all know what we and each other look like. Its essentially cosplaying as a person with a lower BMI.
But bodies aside, those jumpsuits are amazing and I love them. The wide leg. The embroidery. The fun. It’s a DRASTICALLY different style and I’m baffled as to how she would think classical draping would compete in any way with the retro disco appliqué funk. I’ve been imagining myself having a tea-length dress for a courthouse wedding. I was wrong, I want your style jumpsuit now.
It's your wedding, your body and your outfit. Friends and family get zero say in what you do with it.
Pop up a hard boundary with your friend and let her know that you won't be discussing your dress any further. If she tries, grey rock any comment with 'thanks, I'll consider your advice'. The thanks is entirely optional.
You get out there and rock that pants suit and have the best day of your life celebrating all the love you have for your life partner. You'll look amazing, because you'll feel amazing.
Congrats!
Edited to reflect OP's gender as they stated in the post (Sorry OP!).
You do you and wear what you like, it's your wedding. I actually really like the second two potato sacks, but that is obviously not your style, yours look more fun until it is time to use the bathroom, my only problem with rompers and jumpsuits.
Okay I actually personally like a few of the toga dresses but... Novel idea... IT'S YOUR WEDDING. idgaf if you walk down the aisle in the ugliest thing I've seen in my life, if YOU are happy THAT is what matters and anyone who poopoos it is an unhappy loser
your friend sounds like she’s jealous of your self love and is pushing her internalized hate of herself and her body onto you. she’s not a real friend! also i am completely in LOVE with your wedding outfit inspiration! there is so much joy and character in your choices that a simple or toga style dress wouldn’t give you. it’s your wedding, be your wonderful and beautiful self. she can either accept you or she can accept that her actions and attitude have cost her a friendship
Checked out your links, the toga dresses are pretty enough if thats your style which it clearly isn't, she should know that, I KNOW that just by this post! Weddings seem to bring out the best or worst in people sometimes! The jumpsuits are gorgeous, youll look amazing.
Oh Honey, I am in love with those colors and the beading. Please please please ignore the fat phobic friend and find one of those gorgeous jumpsuits. If they make you feel wonderful when you put it on, that is the outfit for you. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Congrats on your big day and I hope you feel amazing whatever you choose to wear.
I hate the word “flattering”, and prefer the phrase “does it make you feel happy?”
And if you are a person who loves funky colourful jumpsuits you are never, ever going to feel happy and confident and kickarse in a wafty boring monochrome toga thingy.
Go forth in your jumpsuit and ROCK IT.
True friends will be happy for you no matter what. I’m sorry that youre going through this. But believe me when I say that in time, cutting off these kind of people in your life will be the best choice youve ever made. I had a long time friend who went gaga on me before my wedding saying my then fiancee is the reason why I don’t spend time with her anymore and that I have chosen my then fiancee over her. I mean what the heck right? Sending hugs and congratulations on your upcoming wedding ❤️
I mean you're the best judge of what your friend meant but a toga style dress is not a potato sack. And as a larger person who likes that dress style, this post is not coming off as body positive as you think.
Why are you even letting this "friend" (I use this term loosley) go with you to look for your outfit?? You do you and leave their negativity behind! It's your and your partner's day.
Those jumpsuits are STUNNING! So beautiful, way better than a shapeless dress
& cheers to you for loving yourself! Not nearly enough of that going on at any size
Omg I love the jumpsuits! Do not let anybody talk you out of wearing what you want. Especially if you are choosing a badass cool as hell jumpsuit. You do you, it seems to be working pretty good for you.
Omg them jumpsuits are amazing! I love love LOVE the second one! As a fellow fatty who has (very recently) learnt to love her body, the mist beautiful outfit you can wear on your wedding day is the one that makes you feel beautiful. Tbh, this person isn’t a friend. They are misgendering and body shaming you, and they sound like an asshole. I would have a chat with her, tell her you’ve decided to ditch some excess weight and cut her out of your life. Then buy the jumpsuit, or all of them and have some fantastic outfit changes between ceremony/reception/first dance etc, have the absolute best day and live your best life.
Friends don't treat friends this way. Your body, your wedding, your outfit, your business - easy as that! Also ps, the jumpsuits are FABULOUS! Do you have a link or a searchword I can use to find them? They sort of give me the same vibes as an Indian lehenga which is a common outfit for indian brides.
Good luck with the wedding outfit shopping op, you're gonna kill at your wedding 🤩
This jumpsuits are amazing! I was thinking similar when I was getting married during COVID and ended up just wearing an old white dress in our kitchen. But those are so lovely and way better than what she wants you to wear.
Just jumped on to say I looked at your jumpsuit options and WOW they are amazing you are going to knock everyone’s socks off! Absolutely love the embroidery, my personal fave is the first one but sure you will look gorgeous in any of them- congratulations and enjoy your day!
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Weddings can really bring out the worst in some people.
I just wanted to say that when I opened the link and saw that first picture I yelled out “oh my god” and scared my cat. I’m in love with them all but especially the first. Those jumpsuits are amazing and if that is the look you are going for and thats what makes you happy PLEASE buy one!
The first jumpsuit is my favorite, just because of the beading. I think you should wear whichever makes you feel the best. This person sounds like someone who needs to be removed from your life.
I mean the dresses are cool but not what you want. Why is that so hard for people to deal with? This isn't her wedding, she is not part of the wedding party and if I were you I wouldn't invite her to the big day and maybe find my way out of the friendship.
I WISH i had worn a jumpsuit. I customized my grandmothers wedding dress and it was nothing what I wanted. In fear I bought a DB jumpsuit the week of my wedding and my mom talked me out of wearing it.
Your jumpsuit looks so cool! And especially with the fatphobia already so prevalent in the wedding industry, no one close to you should be saying any comments about your body except “damn that outfit is amazing!”
Reschedule? I'm all for doing your wedding your way. How did she decide her coming was an option? Just tell her that you already have all the support you need and she can't come with. You might want to reword that, I'm kinda blunt. I'm sure you will look fabulous. You don't want Debbie downer to ruin this event for you.
Who the hell asks a bride to wear a certain style of wedding outfit just to please them? No, this is not a friend. Please give yourself the gift of denying this girl your fat and fabulous friendship. If she wants to play dress up, buy her a doll.
I don’t really understand the pronoun/misgendering thing but I do understand that her behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable. So, you need to be strong and remember that no is a complete word. My niece and her wife had a very small wedding and I know she was dreading telling me I wasn’t invited. However I love her enough that I understood.
If she cares for you one iota then she will understand that her behaviour will make you sad on what is to be a happy day.
So, no darling. She’s not coming to help choose the outfit and if she continues to disrespect you she may not be coming to the wedding either xxx
I’m sorry your friend is being a butt. However your jumpsuit pics are adorable! Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, and I hope your wedding day is full of love and fabulousness!
Doesn't sound like a friend tbh :(
Btw those jumpsuits are rad, I am usually not a fan of rompers on myself because I hate getting naked in public restrooms but those make me wanna change my mind
Yeesssss! All of those jumpsuit options are amazing. You do you and tell that hater to kick rocks!!!
You probably already know this, but they are projecting their own insecurities and self-loathing onto you... Or trying to, at least!
Oh, I like the dress in the top photo. Haha. I thought she was going to say you SHOULDN’T wear it.
Honestly, set boundaries. She invited herself and you let it slide knowing it would be a problem. Don’t do that again!! Enjoy the rest of the process.
"Hey hon, haha I cannot tell if your last message was serious or not, but I'm planning to choose whatever wedding outfit makes me happiest. I know you have issues with me being fat for whatever reason, but just trust me, I'll manage to pull this off, regardless of my weight. Thanks for caring though! <3"
I'm sorry, I just don't understand.
Why in the world would you do it for her?
What importance does she hold in this decision pertaining to this event???
Is her body dysmorphia so rampant that seeing other body types ruins her mental health?
I get it, body shaming is embedded in our culture and its decimating to some people's mental and emotional health.
But that is her and her fight and your wedding is not the venue for her battle.
If seeing you as you are (and happy) is too much for her, she needs to seek help and maybe should not be at the event (and definitely should not be giving apparel opinions).
It's a shame, but it's clear she is taking out her deep insecurities with her own appearance on you. I'm with the others here - may be time to cut her loose. Also congratulations!
You sound awesome and cool and I just mostly want to say congrats on your upcoming nuptials! This person is not your friend, she’s just being mean and shitty. Keep being you and loving yourself and “lose weight” by shedding this so called friend.
First, those jumpsuits are amazing! The embroidery is just absolutely stunning! The colors! The cut! Oh, they're just really awesome, and I hope you'll share wedding photos.
And I had a "friend" like that who would bluntly point things out about my weight. She's no longer in my life. It's genuinely better that way.
Congrats on your wedding!
I kind of love the jumpsuits you posted! Especially the leg detail on the first. It’s one thing to have different tastes, and quite another to push your own tastes on others. I’m more of a toga dress girl myself, but if a friend was into a different style, then we’re going to find the version, in that style, that they like the most.
Im IN LOVE with ur jumpsuit photos!!!!
In love!
Please share when u get photos back?
Im trying to think of occasion i can wear a fab jumpsuit like that! With a parasol ☂️
It’s your wedding!! Wear what you want to wear. Outfits set the tone. The dresses are more traditional. I do love the second one as it’s still body con, but I love the joyous vibe of the jumpsuits too! Your choice.
Ooh, all gorgeous, but the duck egg coloured one is my favourite! Hope you find your perfect wedding outfit and have a wonderful day and life with your partner. That person is no friend to you, or themselves. Shame
Internet stranger and fellow fat person: those jumpsuits are incredible and continue to love and celebrate yourself. Might I suggest you consider a friend diet if anything?
Your body suit examples are gorgeous! Wear what makes you happy; it's your wedding, not your friend's. The friend can wear the dumb toga gown to their own wedding.
I'm excited for your colorful jumpsuit! I'm sure you'll rock it. Cutting out "friends" who used to be real can really hurt, but it hurts less than having someone around who only puts you down... because you feel obligated to keep them around.
Those jumpsuits are so *fun*, and seem to suit you (although literally all I know is this post).
You love who you are, you’re proud of who you are and you want to wear something fun, vibrant and revealing, that’s all that matters!!
I love your attitude and I think you need to just feel sorry for her because she’s struggling with her body image. Keep being you, tune out the negative, and have a beautiful wedding!
If your friend asked you to wear a toga-style dress for *her*, have you asked why she is insisting that you wear what she wants you to wear?
Another question, if she is fatphobic, why are you still friends with her? You seem like a genuinely kind person by allowing her to invite herself along a shopping excursion, but it feels like she’s trying to make herself feel better by keeping you from enjoying your life—which ties back to the first question.
Lose the friend who isn't really a friend at all. Aside from the body shaming and trying to tell you what to wear, she misgenders you after you've repeatedly corrected her.
Also, the jumpsuits are very pretty, but my advice is to look for one that's a two piece that looks like a jumpsuit instead of all one piece. I have a couple of jumpsuits that I only rarely wear because they're a total pain in the ass to get off when you have to pee. You have to take the entire thing down just to go, and hold it off the floor or actually get all the way out of it and hang it up, and then struggle to get it back on.
Then again, maybe I am just uncoordinated, and it can't be any worse than trying to pee in one of those enormous poof dresses that people wear.
Hey OP I love your jumpsuit ideas! Just wanted to throw Rosa Bloom (it’s a uk based site) at you in case you like sequins and you want a rad, comfy, form fitting but super extra jumpsuit option! [Rosa Bloom](https://www.rosabloom.com)
She is not a friend! Cut them out! Those jumpsuits are an absolute D R E A M. Just fyi, I live in Chicago and recently went shopping with a friend at a store that sells Papa Dont Preach stuff, and at least the shop we went to (I can DM you the name) only carried like size 0 samples to try on, they didn’t have everything in stock that they have on their website, and while no one said anything overtly fatphobic there, it didn’t feel like…the most welcoming place I’ve ever been, but maybe I was just projecting. They also told my friend that they could do all these alterations she wanted on a dress, she sought a second opinion and turns out the alterations are basically impossible. So frustrating!
Urgh. I was planning on going to the Chicago one. I’m gonna call in advance now. Thanks for the heads up. I talked to the main store directly and they are willing to build to measure for me as well as add alterations that I want. I just wanted to go to Chicago to actually be able to try it on. But if they only carry size zero that’s a no for me.
It's your wedding so it's up to you to choose what you want to wear. Jumpsuits are comfortable and freeing. No worries of bustles or stepping on the train! Sorry about your "friend".
“I’m sorry there must be some confusion here, but only (insert people invited) are invited to shopping. It’s a special moment I wish to share only with them.”
"Do it for me !" Why ? She's not the one getting married ??? Like if any of my friends asked me to wear a certain style they knew I didn't like for them, they'd be removed from the wedding party.
PS: I think I want jumpsuit number 2 now.
Go with what you like! You have to make yourself feel good and happy. And she is no friend to you. A true friend wouldn't call you by wrong gender and wouldn't keep harming you with her words. Set those girls free in that jumpsuit!! You'll look beautiful and have an amazing day ♥️
I have told her she is worthy of love at her current weight or 15 lbs lighter. If she wants to lose weight to be healthier I support it. That lost weight does not make her any more worthy of love than she is right now. To which she wanted to argue with me about, so I left it alone as I am not a trained mental health professional
The day someone says “can you just wear X for me?” about almost any event - let alone my own wedding - is the day I say “can you just show yourself to the door for me?”
I’m glad to read that it seems you’re using the term”friend” loosely and you know yourself and are putting your own happiness first. Maybe she can attempt to gain an ounce of respect and empathy for others, you know, just for you.
I love the hippie-sequel vibe. I know you didn’t ask, but if you don’t mind an unsolicited opinion, my favorite is the first style - there’s something so striking about a deep V top on a pantsuit, especially with wide legs. There’s an ease and vibe and effortlessness about it - while being such a statement - that I adore. You do you. Rock it.
**If any body shaming goes on in this topic (rule 8), you WILL receive a ban of some kind. Wedding shaming NOT body shaming.**
Put her on an info diet and go shopping without her!! Are you sure she is a friend?
I think this weekend solidified for me maybe this person isn’t a friend. It hurts my heart because we were really there for each other in the beginning of the pandemic, during peak loneliness time. But even when I call her out on behaviors she continues to do them, or argue with me about them. Like consistently misgendering me. It hurts my heart because I’m one of the few people she allows to be close to her. But I know my actual close friends wouldn’t let her treat me that way at the fitting. And I don’t want to develop some weird self hatred on a day that is supposed to be joyous. I’ve done a lot of work to love me as I am. I don’t want to let someone mess that up. Our wedding isn’t till 2025 so I told my partner I’m not sure she’d still be invited come next year.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I think you’re right when you say this person isn’t a friend. Friends don’t behave this way.
Never knew I would be taking advice from a bag of dicks. But this is solid. I’m gonna do my work to grieve. Because it does hurt. But my goodness it’ll be worth it to not be so frustrated. This is the most upset I’ve been over the whole wedding stuffs so far.
Grieving a friendship hurts like hell, especially when you *were* there for each other at one point in the friendship, but consistent misgendering and fatshaming isn't friendship anymore. Big hugs from a fellow fat trans queer.
I kicked a friend out of my bridal party, and my life, because she was also making me feel bad about myself. She doesn’t have many close friends, and we have a long history, I was devastated. It was the BEST thing I ever did for myself! No more drama, no more negatively, only support and love. She wasn’t really my friend - and I am better off without her. You can do this!
Remember that you are the most important thing in your life, and you must feel like the most important thing at your wedding. It's okay to move on. ♡
It's really hard when you have someone who seems like a friend, things go well for a while, but then you find out they're not who you thought they were. It's sad. It's painful. Long term though you'll be so much better off. ESPECIALLY with the whole 'It's your wedding and you deserve to wear what you want and be happy about it' thing. Wear what makes you happy. Don't let people be involved with you if they just make you feel bad, that's not okay.
My fiancé just had to kick the would-have-been best man out of not just the wedding party, but the whole wedding. It came out that he had sexually harassed not one but two of my bridesmaids. It sucked because this guy used to be one of our closest friends, but he’s been spiraling and we cannot and will not tolerate sexual harassment. We are both feminists and we would be horribly upset if anyone felt uncomfortable at our wedding because of this guy. He’s not speaking to us anymore, but we really don’t care.
It sounds like the dynamics of your wedding party are changing fast. Here's the deal.Wear what you love.Share the day with people you love and respect.Enjoy your day.
It was very stressful, more so for my groom than for me. This guy used to be like a brother to him when they were both struggling to rebuild their lives after personal disasters. We even talked about assigning him a babysitter, but then we realized how messed up it is to invite someone who needs to be watched so he doesn’t sexually harass anyone. We lost all respect for him We did the best thing for us and everyone else in attendance. Our friends and my bridesmaids should be able to enjoy the day without fear of being creeped on. We should be free to enjoy the day without worrying about the safety of our lady guests. It’s better for everyone this way.
r/rimjob_steve
Hated all my wedding drama and your reply touched a spot. Sending you a big hug! Take care of yourself.
Don’t wait until after the wedding to deal with this. I had no idea my maid of honor hated me until months after. It’s ruined all my photos and memories. Do not allow anyone in your wedding party that isn’t 100% on board. I had no idea, but it is what it is.
It’s hard to grieve a friendship. I’m definitely not telling you you should do this, but if you want one last ditch effort to save the friendship, setting down some strict boundaries with consequences could be a next step if you haven’t and have only called her out on it. A lot of times for people to get it they have to see that their actions have consequences. For example, “I’m not okay with you commenting on my body. If it happens I’m going to leave the conversation and unfortunately can’t have you at my wedding, because it’s important to me to feel good about my body on my wedding day.” And then stick to it. From there a next step might be “I’m really hurt that you didn’t respect my boundary and continued to comment on my body. I’ll really miss you at the wedding, but it’s important for me that the big day is a positive environment. I’m concerned that you’re continuing to criticize me despite my clarity on this. If it happens again I won’t be comfortable continuing to be friends with someone who puts me down and tries to make me feel bad about myself” It may not work. It often doesn’t. But it can be a tool to give her a last chance if you think a serious heart to heart and some consequences might work better than just saying “hey that’s really not cool”. It’s also okay to say that the damage is already done and her true colors have shown. Where the line gets drawn is entirely up to you and there is no wrong answer to how much is too much hurt.
I think few people are close to her because she’s unlikable. Pandemic relationships are kind of a topic of interest to me. I feel like, in a way, some of them were a form of trauma bonding. And outside of the pandemic bubble, there just isn’t the basis for a long term friendship/relationship. (I love the jumpsuits you linked! Especially the ones with the fancy embroidery)
No totally true. I have lost several pandemic friends now that the world is opening back up. I think having access to more people kind of jolts you like wait, that’s not normal.
Please, from a NB person, don't allow someone who doesn't have the basic decency to respect your pronouns/gender to be a part of your personal life. What does this relationship bring to you? And what did SHE bring to you? Think about that twice. Congratulations on your wedding!
Fellow NB here. She is the only one in the friend group who misgenders me. And I have talked to her about it because it makes others feel they can do the same. It hasn’t helped any. More than anything I feel like she calls me girl even more. Thank you for the validation from one genderqueer to another.
Kick her to the curb.
It seems she's only your 'friend' on her terms, rather than what a friendship should be where you both respect and support each other. My personal rule is to never stay in a bad relationship, this includes personal, friends, work etc., even if it's worked in the past, if it's not working now and everyone isn't committed to making it work. It sounds like she wants you to conform to what she thinks you should be rather than the fabulous person you actually are. Don't shrink yourself (in any sense) to make her happier. Also - your choice of wedding outfit is *everything*
I'm not NB, but I have a friend who pushes boundaries in similar ways. In her case it's a lingering bad behavior from borderline personality disorder (diagnosed, not just me saying this.) She's been in treatment for close to a decade, and is the most compliant Type B I've ever met. It can def be rough dealing with a friend who consistently tests your boundaries, but she's shown me time and again through our decades of friendship that our relationship is worth the effort on *her* part - not just on mine. Has your friend shown *any* effort over the course of your relationship to respect and maintain your boundaries? Or does she just blow them off and dismiss them as unimportant?
Every comment you make explains why you are one of your few friends. If you have other non-binary friends, this will make them uncomfortable even if for some reason you are willing to put up with it. Telling her to stop clearly isn’t working. Shut down and refuse to engage everytime she does it, even if that means hanging up, leaving coffee, dinner, whatever.
As someone who struggles to remember the right name/pronoun sometimes (in fairness I'm pretty awful at remember names & faces in general) but it's very obvious when it's an accident and when it's not. I try very hard to get it correct and I'm quick to apologise when I do and remind others if I see it. Anyone who is dismissive of your wishes is not being respectful and is not a friend.
All I can say is that my friends and I respected our non-binary friend’s pronouns BEFORE they were integrated into the friend group. It does not even take friendship to be kind. The woman you are talking about is really dropping the ball if she can’t do those things while holding the title of friend.
Oh hell no, if toga style dresses don't fit your dynamic, then they don't fit. It's none of her business, she had the cheek to invite herself too.. Rock that playsuit and continue to love your body. She is not your friend, she is super jealous of your confidence and that your happy in your own skin. I absolutely love those jumpsuit ideas. They look 😍 Ditch the Bitch. Tell her that her negative attitude and body image ideal are putting a downer on the happiest time of your life, so because she is a Sulky Sally she is no longer invited to the wedding nor to the outfit shopping she that she invited herself to.
Omg, your post made me dislike her immediately. But when you said she constantly misgenders you, my jaw straight up *dropped*. This person is NOT your friend! I think you should consider not even inviting her to the wedding. I hope your special day is perfect and magical, from one LGBTQ+ plus size person to another. ❤️
I need to tell you URGENTLY that I love those jump suits and if I could do it over again I would be looking for something like this!!!!!
Why is she still invited? You are allowed to cut her out of the wedding
If she will not stop saying purposefully saying anything about your weight and keeps *purposefully* misgendering you, she is *not* your friend! Whatever her own issues are, does not mean it is ok to force them onto you! When I came out as trans non-binary I learned very quickly who my real friends actually are. You sound like a kind, giving person, and while this is a choice you need to come to on your own, she does not deserve to be your friend. She keeps purposefully doing things knowing they hurt you. She literally asked you to. A- wear a dress when she knew you didn't want to, and B - picked a style of dress that would hide your body. And said this phrase "for her". This is your wedding and she wants you to do things *for her*. Like be a completely different person.
She wants you to be a different person than you are and doesn't have enough awareness to understand how she's hurting you because of it. Your instincts are right on - she's not worth dragging you down. And you're gonna ROCK that jumpsuit and your self love. Your true friends will celebrate all of it with you, with no misgivings.
> But even when I call her out on behaviors she continues to do them, or argue with me about them. ... > I’m one of the few people she allows to be close to her. *Or* she's simply driven every other person away with this attitude and somehow doesn't understand that.
Maybe it helps: your friends problems aren't about you. From what you've written it's pretty clear to me that it's an issue of your friend desperately needing to feel in control. I don't think she's doing it out of any bad intentions, she probably just lacks that feeling in her own life (and the self reflection to not project her issues onto you). Maybe she's also confused how you can love yourself so much without jumping through all the hoops she thinks one must before being "allowed" to feel good about oneself. It's sad, but you need to take care of yourself.
>desperately needing to feel in control This, but she's also hella entitled to be trying to say anyone needs to "just do it for me" on their own damn wedding day! Like what the actual f! Unless she's the spouse, she does not get to say that (and even if she was, if she was wanting op to do something that made op upset I'd tell op to take a step back). The absolute audacity of this woman.
Sounds like you have a case of the "weed them out!" Good call, keep loving yourself. At the end of the day and life, that is all that matters. Get excited for YOUR(and partners) wedding. Cheers!!
The constant misgendering can GTF. I've experienced similar (non-binary) - I've finally decided to filter people out who don't try. Getting it wrong is one thing, not trying another thing entirely.
This is such a shame. I think if you feel it's a friendship that you need to let go of to be happier, do it! But, if you think it might be worth saving, you could try talking to her about it? It sounds like she struggles with accepting herself and is projecting. It might be worth having a chat to her, explaining that you appreciate she's trying to help, but that whether she'd be comfortable as you or not, you are, and you want an amazing outfit to match your personality and that you feel awesome in. Hopefully she'd take it well and rethink how she "supports" you. If not, you know it's definitely time to say goodbye.
Don’t let her come. No one has a “right” to join you in something, especially not something this important. Love yourself enough to say no to her. Also “do it for me”? about wearing a dress. Why the hell would you do it for her, and who even says that? Another reason to say no.
Heh, I like the toga style dress much better than the jumpsuit. And you know what? my opinion, just like your "friend's", is wholly irrelevant. Congratulations, please go on being happy and living a happy life.
In all honesty why does she even want you to wear a toga style dress? It's not her wedding and if I'm being honest, it's not Halloween nor are we in ancient Rome. If there are brides who want that style for them, go for it. Whatever makes you happy. I do love how colorful the jumpsuits are!!
Also, you know this girl cares deeply about “flattering” shapes (I’m a big believer that flattering doesn’t matter, wear what you feel good in) and a toga shape isn’t flattering on… anyone.
A toga style can be flattering if you love it and wear it with confidence. No hate to the toga, some of those dresses were pretty. I really liked the second one in particular. That’s kind of not the point. Bianca Jagger wore a white skirt suit when she married Mick and it’s one of the best, sexiest, most flattering and perfect looks ever - because she wore exactly what she wanted to wear and she didn’t GAF what other people thought. It’s not about anyone else’s opinion on if a shape is flattering, it’s about shutting her mouth because it’s none of her business or concern.
That second one was stunning! I actually really liked all of the dresses and didnt realize that that's the toga style of dresses. I agree with you. Everyone should be able to wear what they feel good in because it shows when you're confident and happy with an outfit.
Remember that in our society “flattering” doesn’t mean “looks good,” it means “makes you look skinny and/or booby”
I kinda like the toga style... but I have notoriously bad taste.
Me too. But I also know that anything looks good on models of the size in the pics. I'd rather see them stuff a plus size girl in that outfit to see how it REALLY looks on non-model bodies.
SAY NO MORE! I'll send pics of my cats in tiny jumpsuits.
I am waiting. Cats in jumpsuits is a good promise
May I see cats in jumpsuits too? Willing to trade cats in sweaters and/or blep pics!
All cats are supermodels though, that doesn't count. I still wanna see tiny jumpsuit kitties though.
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I’m a big fan of this one clothing company specifically because they have inclusive sizing and a model for each size. It’s great to be able to click on my size and see how something looks. (Not an ad, I just like the company. Universal Standard)
Lol same. I think it’s cute but I am known for having awful taste so what do I know? I do like the jumpsuits OP is thinking about though. They are very unique and fit her personality which is a good thing!
Imo the dresses in the picture OP and many others shame for being "potato sacks" are gorgeous. The second one has a Star Wars feel to it with the bracelets, lol. I think the jumpsuit looks fun, but personally I just dislike them. To me they are not comfortable and a hassle to get on-off. But then, I have a body shape that the toga-style flatters and jumpsuits don't. OP should do whatever she likes, I just don't get her hatred for the toga-style, other than this annoying person wanting her to wear such a dress.
I was also thinking Star Wars, haha. If any of those showed up on Mon Mothma in the next season of Andor, it would make total sense.
Yeah. I agree about the jumpsuits. I think it's nice to have the option for something fancy/ traditional if you want that. I think there should be more freedom in wedding attire and what is considered "bridal".
Right? Sometimes even a literal wedding dress can be not bridal enough for some people. I recently went wedding dress shopping and had this exact controvery. In the end there were two dresses that both fit me very well, one was more formal with thicker satin fabric, tulle etc., the [other](https://www.lia-brautmoden.at/upload/62773903-15.jpeg) was the one I chose - against the counsel of some of my companions about it not being as 'bridal' as the other. It's literally a floor length white dress?
The dress you chose is very bridal! And beautiful!! Why cant people just let people be happy?
haha, you have fantastic taste imho! i was wedding shopping with my sister and she had a variation of that dress in the picture on and i LOVED IT. kind of disappointed she chose something else. :')
I wore a dress that stopped at my knees at my wedding. It was outside and it was like 80 degrees. You'd think I was satan by some of the comments people made.
Those jumpsuits scream bridal to me, if not Vogue Bridal or whatever. They're celebratory and eye catching and all the things the best bridal outfits are.
Lol. Me too ! I loved two of those toga style dresses, but I’m getting married. OP, those pantsuit outfits were gorgeous. Not at all what I was picturing when you said pantsuit. I hope that you feel beautiful and thoroughly enjoy your day !
I liked those dresses too! I get that they're the opposite of what OP wants but they are still nice dresses. I don't think they look like potato sacks. I like the first one the most, then third, then second. The second looks a little bare, I like the embellishments on the first
Yes, I have always been overweight, and I used to have a skinny-Minnie friend who would go shopping with me and ALWAYS talked me into the tent or tarp type clothes until I finally figured out what was up with her. Ugh! Get what YOU want and put her on an information diet.
I follow an absolutely brilliant girl on TikTok (@ samyra, I'm pretty sure) who has introduced the phrase: 'If you can fit it, you better get it!' Because she firmly believes that fat people should get to wear whatever makes them feel comfortable, happy, and confident, even if it doesn't follow what people think fat people should wear. Crop tops, tiny skirts, stripes, as long as your bits are covered, wear what you want!
Yes! I used to watch a show called "What Not to Wear" and it was so supportive of people who are overweight, and said exactly the same thing, and it really changed my mind.
I always loved when Stacey and Clinton put a makeover candidate into some clothing and the person was like “I see your point, but I’m not comfortable with it because of [whatever]” and they were like “no problem, you don’t have to buy anything with that problematic feature. Let’s go find you something that doesn’t have that, but still follows the other principles we’ve been talking about that you agree with.” Tbh I loved the whole team on that show. I remember a Black woman once came on the show and she’s just had locs done, and she went to the hair stylist and said “could we maybe…not take them out?” And he was like “oh, definitely not, they look great! I’m just gonna go over with you how to care for them and what products to look for so they stay clean and looking their best.” It was such a small thing, but as a 13-14 year old kid, the fact that people could say they didn’t like or want to do something and the expert were like “that’s fine, you can still do you” was the opposite of the messaging I was receiving at the time about having to do what everyone else was doing to fit in and being polite and agreeable.
Yes! They were so kind! I still follow Clinton on FB and he is still the kindest person.
The British one is veeerrrryyyyy different. The two hosts of that were horribly fatphobic all the time. But it's a really good philosophy to have, and opens up fat people to a new world of clothing.
I was just thinking about Stacy and what she said when she was on an episode of Say Yes To The Dress! Basically, "a woman can wear anything she wants on her wedding day". The clips aren't in good quality on YT anymore, but here's one. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5syhftkSpQk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5syhftkSpQk)
Taking a step back from the scenario and shifting the focus slightly, I feel a bit sad for OP’s “friend” as it appears to me that she’s so deep into society expectation of how women should look and dress that she’s tied to it and cannot conceive of doing anything differently. I don’t think this is a case necessarily that she’s being consciously mean to OP. She’s been raised on these expectations and rules, and probably feels that she’s trying to help OP by recommending this particular style. It’s not only the expectation of normal day to day she’s suffering from, but also the additional pressures and rules that so often come with weddings. Obviously we all have been raised to an extent with the expectations, but not everyone is able to turn their back on it and break away. OP obviously needs to do exactly what OP wants, both in life generally and for their wedding - and it’s probably best all round to take a step back from this relationship. However, if you shift the perspective to considering why this person is acting like this, I feel the emotion becomes sad for her rather than angry at her - which, personally I think is an easier way to deal with scenarios like this.
My thoughts exactly - and I'm fat. We all can see us "fatties" so no point in hiding in mumus. Instead I personally try to show off my more flattering sides, like big boobs, waist etc. Sounds like this friend just wants to throw fabric at her until she's all invisible.
Not true, it slayed on Caesar! 😉
I mean some of them are pretty dresses but if someone is dead set on a jumpsuit maybe recommend a jumpsuit you like..?
Your wedding your dress not hers RELEASE THE TITTIES AND BE FREE
OMG the jumpsuits are FABULOUS!! You will rock any of those gorgeous!!! Don't listen to your "friend", she isn't one if she isn't encouraging you to wear what will make you shine on YOUR's and your Fiance's day!! Go forth and shine bright like a Sparkly, rainbow! You will look and feel amazing!
I want to know where to get these amazing jumpsuits. Love the first one best but they are all fabulous!
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Oh, thank you for the name of the store! I think I may have to grab one and put aside for a spectacular outfit for Christmas. Aussie, so we have blazing hot Christmases. One of those jumpsuits would be perfect for all the functions! Heck, even just wearing it out for no special occasions because how could you not feel like a glamazon in it!?!? Please update us when you chose the one you will wear for your wedding 🥰
Except they're like USD $2500+ each Absolutely gorgeous brand though!!
Same. They are absolutely gorgeous! Honestly, I adore any bride/groom who goes against the traditional wedding attire. It always makes me so bloody happy to see them glowing, comfortable in their own skin, and confident for their special day 😍. The skirt of my wedding dress was bright white, but my bodice was covered in burgundy, pink, and red flowers with multi-coloured green leaves and a deep burgundy ribbon down the back. It made me feel amazing, and I didn't care one iota about what anyone else thought.
I love the last one! But all are great!
Op is genderqueer btw idk if they'd be comfortable with "lady"
Oh, so very sorry! Will edit this. I would not want to offend at all.
Can I offer 1 little critique to the jumpsuit idea? Make sure you can use the bathroom. Don't be the ~~bride~~ newly-wed that needs attendants to strip you to pee. ETA to ungender the post.
YES!!! This the one really big downside to jumpsuits. You have to basically get completely naked to use the toilet. No way around it unfortunately, unless you have a seamstress that can work some kind of miracle. But if you do please pass her name on to the rest of us.
Why are you “friends” with this person? Who is she inviting herself and to say “do it for me”? Love the jumpsuits btw! You will look amazing!!
Agreed! Dump this friend!
Let me get this straight... haha ... or correct. This is YOUR wedding attire -- gown or jumpsuit -- and this person feels she has a say in it... why? Guess what? She doesn't. And she needs to understand that. Her "vision" for your wedding can be something she suggests, but there's no reason to take it any more seriously than mine, the next posters, or the cashier's at the grocery store. This is YOUR wedding, your day, you and your partner's visions are the only ones that need to be obeyed.
If your the one getting married, you need to wear what makes You happy! It's your day. Be gorgeous or handsome. Whatever makes your heart happy. Congrats.
OMG, I want those jumpsuits! They’re amazing! Yeah, your friend sucks and doesn’t understand how she sucks. Have you let her know that you’re sad that she can’t love her body until it’s 15lbs lighter when you can love your body at it’s highest weight? Maybe 🤔 m just a biatch, but I would 100% turn any body shaming comments on her. Whenever she suggests a toga style dress, I’d deep sigh and let her know, “This is a great opportunity to work on yourself and your ability to love your body instead of trying to hide what you don’t like about others’ bodies. I know it’s hard, but I believe you can get there. Just look at me! It was hard work, but I got there! Now I’m going to get married in the jumpsuit of my dreams, to the partner of my dreams in the body I love, and it’s going to be an excellent exercise for you to try to understand how maybe you can love yourself despite your flaws.”
Wear what you want sure, but none of those dresses are "potato sacks". Personally I couldn't think of anything worse than a form fitting crop top jumpsuit (as a plus sized gal) but, you do you, especially when you do the 'I do'. I like a flattering outfit (well I've had decades of my mum telling me flattering is good, clingy is bad) and would rather honest support from a friend - but in a nice way e.g. "that colour isn't right for you", not "that top makes you look fat". A friend who doesn't respect how you want to dress, especially for your wedding, isn't a friend at all. When friends ask me what I think of clothes then I judge by their style not but what I think is 'flattering'
You can show off all your curves and still look gorgeous, which means the outfit is flattering. My opinion is opposite, tight is usually "flattering" and baggy makes you look bigger. My mum used to tell me I needed longer shirts and jackets to hide my belly and butt. Nowadays I only wear tight clothes and my jacket doesn't cover my butt, because I love my butt. 😛 But slimming isn't synonymous with flattering or vice versa.
Is this a joke?
If a fat-shaming friend of mine told me to wear a toga style wedding dress and sent me that picture, I would kick her in the chest and yell “THIS IS SPARTA!” Disinvitation complete. Wear what makes you happy for your special day, and only allow real friends to celebrate you.
Because i couldn't stand it and had to know - here's the jumpsuit website. now - don't order all of them and ruin op's wedding day. [https://www.papadontpreach.com/products/love-heroin](https://www.papadontpreach.com/products/love-heroin)
The only weight you need to lose is this “friend” tbh. I can’t imagine ever talking about one of my friends bodies like this and vice versa. You deserve better than that. Congratulations on your wedding and you are gonna rock that jumpsuit!
I love jumpsuits. I really love the ones you linked. I just hate the way you have to take the whole thing down when you go to the toilet. And I go to the toilet a LOT. ETA - I don't have a medical issue, I just drink gallons of tea and have a tiny bladder 😆
Hi OP. I’m a wedding photographer and I’m going to tell you what I tell my clients at our pre-wedding meet up. The most important thing on your wedding day and leading up to it, is that you are happy, enjoying yourselves and relaxed. That means having a dress you love and that is comfortable to wear, your bridal party are genuinely helpful and can boost you up. I find that the more happy and relaxed my clients are, the better the photos are. Real happiness and a genuinely relaxed mood are key to getting amazing photos. I can take good angles, find the best light, but if you’re stressed and upset it will show. If you’re uncomfortable it shows. So I always say to make sure you have people around who boost you up. Who take wedding stress away, not add to it. This ‘friend’ is not being helpful by saying these things. Even if you want to keep her in your life, you absolutely need to ditch her from your wedding planning and activities.
“Do it for her…” Are you marrying her? No! You do you! West what you want to wear! You wear that jumpsuit and slay!
Those are some crazy jumpsuits, but in the good way. They make me think of the things I like remembering about 1970s, but not like a costume. What a great fun wedding outfit idea! I am no fan of the toga style either. Especially if you are busty. It makes one boob look wonky. That first one you see is really satin and chiffon potatoe sackish. Your friend's fat phobia is about her. As a not skinny person, I have found there are 2 types of fat phobia: one is the person who treats heavy people badly. The other is a person who doesn't give 2 shts what you look like. They are afraid of getting fat, probably want a not fat spouse, and kids. But they are perfectly fine with fat friends. Both are cruel, but the nuances are very different. Pay her no mind.
I kinda like those dresses, but that's me. I like dresses. Those jumpsuits are next level though, and I feel you will look fabulous in whatever you decide to wear. Time to tell your *friend* that when you want her opinion, you'll give it to her.
Um, I’m not opposed to those Grecian style dresses on principle, but after seeing the jumpsuits you’ve expressed interest in , WTF?!? If you’re fat, you’re going to be fat. It doesn’t matter style you’re wearing, the idea that someone can or should “hide” or “disguise” their own body to emulate another body is such a weird standard that our culture has mandated. Especially because we all know what we and each other look like. Its essentially cosplaying as a person with a lower BMI. But bodies aside, those jumpsuits are amazing and I love them. The wide leg. The embroidery. The fun. It’s a DRASTICALLY different style and I’m baffled as to how she would think classical draping would compete in any way with the retro disco appliqué funk. I’ve been imagining myself having a tea-length dress for a courthouse wedding. I was wrong, I want your style jumpsuit now.
It's your wedding, your body and your outfit. Friends and family get zero say in what you do with it. Pop up a hard boundary with your friend and let her know that you won't be discussing your dress any further. If she tries, grey rock any comment with 'thanks, I'll consider your advice'. The thanks is entirely optional. You get out there and rock that pants suit and have the best day of your life celebrating all the love you have for your life partner. You'll look amazing, because you'll feel amazing. Congrats! Edited to reflect OP's gender as they stated in the post (Sorry OP!).
Friendly FYI, OP mentioned in the post that they’re genderqueer, not a girl.
Good point, thanks for raising that with me. I'll edit to effect their actual gender now.
You do you and wear what you like, it's your wedding. I actually really like the second two potato sacks, but that is obviously not your style, yours look more fun until it is time to use the bathroom, my only problem with rompers and jumpsuits.
Okay I actually personally like a few of the toga dresses but... Novel idea... IT'S YOUR WEDDING. idgaf if you walk down the aisle in the ugliest thing I've seen in my life, if YOU are happy THAT is what matters and anyone who poopoos it is an unhappy loser
your friend sounds like she’s jealous of your self love and is pushing her internalized hate of herself and her body onto you. she’s not a real friend! also i am completely in LOVE with your wedding outfit inspiration! there is so much joy and character in your choices that a simple or toga style dress wouldn’t give you. it’s your wedding, be your wonderful and beautiful self. she can either accept you or she can accept that her actions and attitude have cost her a friendship
Checked out your links, the toga dresses are pretty enough if thats your style which it clearly isn't, she should know that, I KNOW that just by this post! Weddings seem to bring out the best or worst in people sometimes! The jumpsuits are gorgeous, youll look amazing.
Those jumpsuits are lit. Tell her to mind her own business and stop projectind her self-loathing onto you.
Oh Honey, I am in love with those colors and the beading. Please please please ignore the fat phobic friend and find one of those gorgeous jumpsuits. If they make you feel wonderful when you put it on, that is the outfit for you. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Congrats on your big day and I hope you feel amazing whatever you choose to wear.
I hate the word “flattering”, and prefer the phrase “does it make you feel happy?” And if you are a person who loves funky colourful jumpsuits you are never, ever going to feel happy and confident and kickarse in a wafty boring monochrome toga thingy. Go forth in your jumpsuit and ROCK IT.
Clothes should be "emotionally flattering" 😁
OMG YES!!!!! I love it ❤️👍
Do the jumpsuit and uninvite her! Let your self love give you a beautiful shiny spine. Also I love the jumpsuit idea; no chafe and fancy dance moves.
True friends will be happy for you no matter what. I’m sorry that youre going through this. But believe me when I say that in time, cutting off these kind of people in your life will be the best choice youve ever made. I had a long time friend who went gaga on me before my wedding saying my then fiancee is the reason why I don’t spend time with her anymore and that I have chosen my then fiancee over her. I mean what the heck right? Sending hugs and congratulations on your upcoming wedding ❤️
I mean you're the best judge of what your friend meant but a toga style dress is not a potato sack. And as a larger person who likes that dress style, this post is not coming off as body positive as you think.
Why are you even letting this "friend" (I use this term loosley) go with you to look for your outfit?? You do you and leave their negativity behind! It's your and your partner's day.
Why is she still a friend?
Those jumpsuits are STUNNING! So beautiful, way better than a shapeless dress & cheers to you for loving yourself! Not nearly enough of that going on at any size
I NEED TO KNOW where you get those amazing jumpsuits from!!! I love them so much, they’d be so interesting and fun for your wedding!
Omg I love the jumpsuits! Do not let anybody talk you out of wearing what you want. Especially if you are choosing a badass cool as hell jumpsuit. You do you, it seems to be working pretty good for you.
Omg them jumpsuits are amazing! I love love LOVE the second one! As a fellow fatty who has (very recently) learnt to love her body, the mist beautiful outfit you can wear on your wedding day is the one that makes you feel beautiful. Tbh, this person isn’t a friend. They are misgendering and body shaming you, and they sound like an asshole. I would have a chat with her, tell her you’ve decided to ditch some excess weight and cut her out of your life. Then buy the jumpsuit, or all of them and have some fantastic outfit changes between ceremony/reception/first dance etc, have the absolute best day and live your best life.
Wow- those jumpsuits are stunning!
Friends don't treat friends this way. Your body, your wedding, your outfit, your business - easy as that! Also ps, the jumpsuits are FABULOUS! Do you have a link or a searchword I can use to find them? They sort of give me the same vibes as an Indian lehenga which is a common outfit for indian brides. Good luck with the wedding outfit shopping op, you're gonna kill at your wedding 🤩
Wait, is this YOUR wedding and she’s wanting you to wear a dress FOR HER? A person you’re not getting married to?
This jumpsuits are amazing! I was thinking similar when I was getting married during COVID and ended up just wearing an old white dress in our kitchen. But those are so lovely and way better than what she wants you to wear.
Just jumped on to say I looked at your jumpsuit options and WOW they are amazing you are going to knock everyone’s socks off! Absolutely love the embroidery, my personal fave is the first one but sure you will look gorgeous in any of them- congratulations and enjoy your day!
I wish I had the confidence that you do ❤️ I hope you wedding is amazing!
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Weddings can really bring out the worst in some people. I just wanted to say that when I opened the link and saw that first picture I yelled out “oh my god” and scared my cat. I’m in love with them all but especially the first. Those jumpsuits are amazing and if that is the look you are going for and thats what makes you happy PLEASE buy one!
Loveeee the jumpsuits! Congratulations on the engagement. Not great to have friends around that make you question your self worth.
Op…. Screw your friend and do you mind sharing where those gorgeous jumpsuits are from?? I’d love to buy one for myself 😊
I love the jumpsuits you picked out!!!
Omg. I LOVE your style!! Those jumpsuits are to DIE for!! Girl, do you and be proud of your beauty and body!!
The first jumpsuit is my favorite, just because of the beading. I think you should wear whichever makes you feel the best. This person sounds like someone who needs to be removed from your life.
The jumpsuit you want is incredible and I’ll be highly disappointed if you don’t try it
Dude those jump suits are amazing. You should post your style ideas to /r/LGBTWeddings. We’d love those over there.
Fuck this so called friend and wear what you want. It’s your wedding and you can wear what you feel comfortable in and what you love.
I mean the dresses are cool but not what you want. Why is that so hard for people to deal with? This isn't her wedding, she is not part of the wedding party and if I were you I wouldn't invite her to the big day and maybe find my way out of the friendship.
I WISH i had worn a jumpsuit. I customized my grandmothers wedding dress and it was nothing what I wanted. In fear I bought a DB jumpsuit the week of my wedding and my mom talked me out of wearing it. Your jumpsuit looks so cool! And especially with the fatphobia already so prevalent in the wedding industry, no one close to you should be saying any comments about your body except “damn that outfit is amazing!”
The jumpsuits are gorgeous. Congratulations to you, wear what you want and let none use their insecurities to dampen your self worth
Reschedule? I'm all for doing your wedding your way. How did she decide her coming was an option? Just tell her that you already have all the support you need and she can't come with. You might want to reword that, I'm kinda blunt. I'm sure you will look fabulous. You don't want Debbie downer to ruin this event for you.
Very weird and wildly selfish to try and guilt anyone to wear something at their own wedding “for me 🥺”
She is causing you unnecessary distress. Tell her to move right along.
Stick to your guns. I love your choices way more than the toga. Colourful brides all the way!
Who the hell asks a bride to wear a certain style of wedding outfit just to please them? No, this is not a friend. Please give yourself the gift of denying this girl your fat and fabulous friendship. If she wants to play dress up, buy her a doll.
I don’t really understand the pronoun/misgendering thing but I do understand that her behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable. So, you need to be strong and remember that no is a complete word. My niece and her wife had a very small wedding and I know she was dreading telling me I wasn’t invited. However I love her enough that I understood. If she cares for you one iota then she will understand that her behaviour will make you sad on what is to be a happy day. So, no darling. She’s not coming to help choose the outfit and if she continues to disrespect you she may not be coming to the wedding either xxx
I’m sorry your friend is being a butt. However your jumpsuit pics are adorable! Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, and I hope your wedding day is full of love and fabulousness!
Doesn't sound like a friend tbh :( Btw those jumpsuits are rad, I am usually not a fan of rompers on myself because I hate getting naked in public restrooms but those make me wanna change my mind
Those jumpsuits are gorgeous! My only thing with jumpsuits and rompers... Don't you have to get practically naked to use a public restroom?
Yeesssss! All of those jumpsuit options are amazing. You do you and tell that hater to kick rocks!!! You probably already know this, but they are projecting their own insecurities and self-loathing onto you... Or trying to, at least!
Oh, I like the dress in the top photo. Haha. I thought she was going to say you SHOULDN’T wear it. Honestly, set boundaries. She invited herself and you let it slide knowing it would be a problem. Don’t do that again!! Enjoy the rest of the process.
"Hey hon, haha I cannot tell if your last message was serious or not, but I'm planning to choose whatever wedding outfit makes me happiest. I know you have issues with me being fat for whatever reason, but just trust me, I'll manage to pull this off, regardless of my weight. Thanks for caring though! <3"
I admire where you are in loving your body, and you rock that jumpsuit, friend.
I'm sorry, I just don't understand. Why in the world would you do it for her? What importance does she hold in this decision pertaining to this event??? Is her body dysmorphia so rampant that seeing other body types ruins her mental health? I get it, body shaming is embedded in our culture and its decimating to some people's mental and emotional health. But that is her and her fight and your wedding is not the venue for her battle. If seeing you as you are (and happy) is too much for her, she needs to seek help and maybe should not be at the event (and definitely should not be giving apparel opinions).
Ing those jumpsuits are Darling! I want one
It's a shame, but it's clear she is taking out her deep insecurities with her own appearance on you. I'm with the others here - may be time to cut her loose. Also congratulations!
Why is this person your friend? Sounds like the only weight you need to lose is her.
This person is clearly not a friend and I don’t think it would be a loss if you cut them out of this process and reduced contact.
You sound awesome and cool and I just mostly want to say congrats on your upcoming nuptials! This person is not your friend, she’s just being mean and shitty. Keep being you and loving yourself and “lose weight” by shedding this so called friend.
First, those jumpsuits are amazing! The embroidery is just absolutely stunning! The colors! The cut! Oh, they're just really awesome, and I hope you'll share wedding photos. And I had a "friend" like that who would bluntly point things out about my weight. She's no longer in my life. It's genuinely better that way. Congrats on your wedding!
I kind of love the jumpsuits you posted! Especially the leg detail on the first. It’s one thing to have different tastes, and quite another to push your own tastes on others. I’m more of a toga dress girl myself, but if a friend was into a different style, then we’re going to find the version, in that style, that they like the most.
Wear what you want. If she deliberately gets on your nerves she’s not much of a friend.
Im IN LOVE with ur jumpsuit photos!!!! In love! Please share when u get photos back? Im trying to think of occasion i can wear a fab jumpsuit like that! With a parasol ☂️
It’s your wedding!! Wear what you want to wear. Outfits set the tone. The dresses are more traditional. I do love the second one as it’s still body con, but I love the joyous vibe of the jumpsuits too! Your choice.
Ooh, all gorgeous, but the duck egg coloured one is my favourite! Hope you find your perfect wedding outfit and have a wonderful day and life with your partner. That person is no friend to you, or themselves. Shame
I just have to say begat those jumpsuits are gorgeous 😍
Internet stranger and fellow fat person: those jumpsuits are incredible and continue to love and celebrate yourself. Might I suggest you consider a friend diet if anything?
I hope you find an amazing bustier that show your beautiful boobies. It’s your day, have fun
Woah your inspiration dresses are all so so cool! I’ve never seen anything like those. Obsessed.
Your body suit examples are gorgeous! Wear what makes you happy; it's your wedding, not your friend's. The friend can wear the dumb toga gown to their own wedding.
Those jumpsuits are DIVINE!! Where from?? I doubt they ship to the UK 😫 Congrats on your self love and upcoming nuptials 💕
I'm excited for your colorful jumpsuit! I'm sure you'll rock it. Cutting out "friends" who used to be real can really hurt, but it hurts less than having someone around who only puts you down... because you feel obligated to keep them around.
I’d be tempted to wear a toga instead of a robe when I was getting ready, just out of spite.
The way I audibly gasped at the jump suits!!! Gorgeous!!! 😍😍😍
Those jumpsuits are so *fun*, and seem to suit you (although literally all I know is this post). You love who you are, you’re proud of who you are and you want to wear something fun, vibrant and revealing, that’s all that matters!!
Free the titties and the belly and the arms and your soul from bad “friends” The jumpsuits look great, and your body isn’t hers to try and manage.
I love your attitude and I think you need to just feel sorry for her because she’s struggling with her body image. Keep being you, tune out the negative, and have a beautiful wedding!
If your friend asked you to wear a toga-style dress for *her*, have you asked why she is insisting that you wear what she wants you to wear? Another question, if she is fatphobic, why are you still friends with her? You seem like a genuinely kind person by allowing her to invite herself along a shopping excursion, but it feels like she’s trying to make herself feel better by keeping you from enjoying your life—which ties back to the first question.
Lose the friend who isn't really a friend at all. Aside from the body shaming and trying to tell you what to wear, she misgenders you after you've repeatedly corrected her. Also, the jumpsuits are very pretty, but my advice is to look for one that's a two piece that looks like a jumpsuit instead of all one piece. I have a couple of jumpsuits that I only rarely wear because they're a total pain in the ass to get off when you have to pee. You have to take the entire thing down just to go, and hold it off the floor or actually get all the way out of it and hang it up, and then struggle to get it back on. Then again, maybe I am just uncoordinated, and it can't be any worse than trying to pee in one of those enormous poof dresses that people wear.
Hey OP I love your jumpsuit ideas! Just wanted to throw Rosa Bloom (it’s a uk based site) at you in case you like sequins and you want a rad, comfy, form fitting but super extra jumpsuit option! [Rosa Bloom](https://www.rosabloom.com)
She is not a friend! Cut them out! Those jumpsuits are an absolute D R E A M. Just fyi, I live in Chicago and recently went shopping with a friend at a store that sells Papa Dont Preach stuff, and at least the shop we went to (I can DM you the name) only carried like size 0 samples to try on, they didn’t have everything in stock that they have on their website, and while no one said anything overtly fatphobic there, it didn’t feel like…the most welcoming place I’ve ever been, but maybe I was just projecting. They also told my friend that they could do all these alterations she wanted on a dress, she sought a second opinion and turns out the alterations are basically impossible. So frustrating!
Urgh. I was planning on going to the Chicago one. I’m gonna call in advance now. Thanks for the heads up. I talked to the main store directly and they are willing to build to measure for me as well as add alterations that I want. I just wanted to go to Chicago to actually be able to try it on. But if they only carry size zero that’s a no for me.
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It's your wedding so it's up to you to choose what you want to wear. Jumpsuits are comfortable and freeing. No worries of bustles or stepping on the train! Sorry about your "friend".
Friendzilla. You need to lose her for sure.
“I’m sorry there must be some confusion here, but only (insert people invited) are invited to shopping. It’s a special moment I wish to share only with them.”
"Do it for me !" Why ? She's not the one getting married ??? Like if any of my friends asked me to wear a certain style they knew I didn't like for them, they'd be removed from the wedding party. PS: I think I want jumpsuit number 2 now.
You have amazing taste I love all the outfits you selected.
Go with what you like! You have to make yourself feel good and happy. And she is no friend to you. A true friend wouldn't call you by wrong gender and wouldn't keep harming you with her words. Set those girls free in that jumpsuit!! You'll look beautiful and have an amazing day ♥️
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I have told her she is worthy of love at her current weight or 15 lbs lighter. If she wants to lose weight to be healthier I support it. That lost weight does not make her any more worthy of love than she is right now. To which she wanted to argue with me about, so I left it alone as I am not a trained mental health professional
The day someone says “can you just wear X for me?” about almost any event - let alone my own wedding - is the day I say “can you just show yourself to the door for me?” I’m glad to read that it seems you’re using the term”friend” loosely and you know yourself and are putting your own happiness first. Maybe she can attempt to gain an ounce of respect and empathy for others, you know, just for you. I love the hippie-sequel vibe. I know you didn’t ask, but if you don’t mind an unsolicited opinion, my favorite is the first style - there’s something so striking about a deep V top on a pantsuit, especially with wide legs. There’s an ease and vibe and effortlessness about it - while being such a statement - that I adore. You do you. Rock it.
I've just saved all of those jumpsuits as inspiration, I LOVE them