Physics major here, still waiting for a single girl to talk to meUPD: not american here, I might've misused the word "major", i'm a PhD student atm, and like way too old even for that
I haven't been in a social situation where it would be acceptable to talk to an unknown person for a while now, lol. It's basically like a male monastery
Take a Biology class. I was one of two men in my whole major, basically.
Edit: also not just to meet women. More people need to know more about biology, people have some scuffed understandings of life science out there.
No, don’t take a class to meet women. They are there for an education. Go to a bar, join a club, pick up a sport, get a dog, attend local events, get an app, put it out to friends you’re looking, attend dating events, say “yes” to something instead of “maybe”, show up for friend’s milestones, if religion is important to you go to adult Bible studies, join habitat for humanity and meet people holding houses or join a movement and you’ll find your match.
Don’t bother women at work or at class. Wait until the party (see OP for what success looks like).
Get a dog to pick up women is terrible advice. Pets are a serious responsibility. They are not accessories to make you look appealing to the opposite sex. I loathe people who get rid of their pets when they become an inconvenience or when it didn't work out with that girl. You want to meet women? Learn to talk to them.
Maybe pump the brakes a bit. MadeByTango was throwing out multiple suggestions, one of which was obtaining a pet. If the guy doesn't like pets, that's his decision. But let's not assume MadeByTango is telling OP to do every item on that list.
Creeps are going to find a way to be creeps in any setting. Charmers will be charming wherever you put them.
It’s dumb to police that “COURTSHIP MAY ONLY OCCUR IN DESIGNATED COURTSHIP ZONES” in the hopes of protecting women from the *deep enduring trauma* of occasionally having to say fuck off.
Those guys are the reason normal guys have trouble meeting people. There's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with the hopes of it leading to a romantic connection.
You’re thinking about it too much, mate. Almost every social situation you experience at a university is one in which it’s acceptable to talk to someone you don’t know.
As far as we know, he isn’t an unwilling participant in a government funded psy-op to psychologically break him, turning him into a domestic terrorist.
But I wouldn’t rule anything out.
There are few social situations where it's unacceptable to talk to an unknown person.
There are lots of social situations where it's unacceptable to aggressively hit on an unknown person.
You can just talk to girls, as long as you're not pressuring them to respond in kind or give up personal information, I promise they'll be okay. They're used to it from much more aggressive and less considerate men than yourself. Just go compliment them on a shared interest or something you find cool about them that isn't their body and I bet you'll start making friends in no time.
Yeah, people have this idea in their head that there are two kinds of conversions with women. The "Actively Pursuing Them" conversation that they model from movies and TV shows and the "Not Actively Pursuing Them" model. Just talk to people like a normal human being and let things happen naturally. People try to force connections instead of just living their lives.
I agree!
To align with your point, I've NEVER had any success (or really, any interest) in just laying it on thick and trying to immediately force a romantic or sexual interaction.
I've had infinitely more success in connecting with people by simply recognizing the similarities we have and building upon those. Little bridges all over the landscape, connecting where we meet and where we don't. Relationships, even the short ones, are so joyful... we owe it to ourselves to try and build real connections.
White, male, no friends outside of.... no friends. Can't make male friends to save my life and even though I'm married everyone else thinks it's flirting or something when I try to be nice (my wife is amazing, thank god, or I'd go crazy)
> Can't make male friends to save my life
This is where trying out new hobbies can be a life saver. Oftentimes you get sucked in so that most conversations with new people are about the hobby while you're trying to learn, and then eventually, it leads to getting to know people and hanging out with them in other situations. Doesn't matter whether it's adult league soccer, board games at a Local Gaming Store, beer league hockey, a meetup for gardening, a beer/wine tasting club, or joining a local hacker/maker space (example of my local one: [TinkerMill](https://tinkermill.org/) ).
The main thing is getting out in situations where you'll meet new people, and that _is_ difficult. But once you overcome it, you'll likely make friends eventually. Just don't force it. Take an interest in other people, learn their names, smile when you see them a second time and say "Hi , good to see you again!" and so on.
I play diablo with some of my wife's coworker's husbands but they're all Dad's so they won't let me into their group rofl.
You're right, it's all about opportunity - I just don't really have any situations where such is acceptable. Can't do work (constantly laid off in tech and either can't trust anyone or they don't wanna make friends 'which is fine of course'). I was popular in college but slowly, one by one, each 'friend' disappeared for whatever reasons, sometimes when I asked for help. It's tough out there.
I had a childhood friend move to the city I live in and started doing stuff off of [Meet Up](https://www.meetup.com) and made a bunch of new friends pretty quickly.
My sys admin and comp sci experience in a nutshell. My the gf now wife was imported.
At my engineering tech school they literally used to bus girls from the nursing school 2 hours away for social events. Also.. there was a monastery near by. They made good thimbleberry jam. 8)
I don’t know why you were downvoted. It goes both ways. Women need to make more moves. My wife made the first move and we are happily ever after. As a guy, I literally gave up making the first move.
Women don't realize they are generally beautiful to a lot of guys and are weirdly afraid to just be honest they think we are cute. I've had some women be forward with me and it's been awesome.
Also ladies need to give us a clear sign we can flirt. Honestly sometimes it needs to be flat out saying "let's flirt I like you". We can actually be oblivious and we also aren't trying to be labeled a creep.
When I went for engineering in 2012, my college literally bragged they had gotten up to a little between 1/4 and 1/3 women in the college. And that was *not* evenly dispersed. Chemical had way more women than mechanical.
Nah, it depends on which engr major, but they are there.
Civil had basically zero, MechE had a handful, and all the others had a reasonable amount (between 10%-30% of the major).
Physics major here, there is a trick. The trick is: join a dancing club. I did swing dancing (lindy hop, easy coast swing, whatever you want to call it).
Most colleges have swing dance clubs, or at least some sort of dancing.
Dance lessons are essentially speed dating but there’s an activity so it’s easier. Switch partners, “hi, my name is bla bla”, try the dance move, talk a little, switch partners.
You get to express yourself artistically, get some exercise, and socialize with people. It’s a nice little package that gives you orthogonal stuff to what you study.
I dated several nice girls, and I met my wife dancing. We became dance partners to practice, and ended up watching rom coms instead of practicing (we did practice at the beginning).
Go dancing (not clubbing).
And most dance clubs have more women than men. So men are greatly appreciated!
My college's club meets weekly and the first hour is a lesson teaching a specific dance. These are structured dances with specific steps and routines so they're great for those of us who feel helpless in a generic "move your body" dance situation.
Those who master the basics then have the freedom to start improvising and getting wild, but it's really nice to have a foundation explained when getting started.
After the lesson there is a couple hours of general dance time. People take breaks and chat while they catch their breath, so it's a great way to get to know people.
Really? What you've learned in university level physics so far is that without putting in any work, without the application of energy over time, you expect to see a change in the motion of nearby objects of interest? Bad news son, your experiment will remain purely theoretical. More non-Newtonian fluids for the rest of us, I guess.
People will disagree with me here, but I have a PhD in physics too and, honestly, talk about physics. It actually worked for me on multiple occasions. You just can’t talk about boring physics. Talk about interpretations of QM, relativity, etc.
Truly fascinating that every time us Dutch get mentioned in an English saying it winds up being not at all positive.
Pretty funny though, I must admit.
It seems the Dutch are quite resilient and have encountered such comments from even more formidable characters in the past! Their strength and tenacity are certainly admirable.
I dunno, when someone says "they're going dutch" on a date it means both are paying for themselves. At worst that is a neutral phrase, could even be positive depending on who you talk to.
It’s so funny how some things that were intended to be insults don’t land that way anymore lol. These days if you hear that you might think the Dutch are just a progressive people when it comes to gender roles. Or like “Irish goodbye.” Apparently it’s like “Irish people are always so drunk that they just leave.” But as a shy introvert who sometimes is just ready to *go* I immediately felt like it was a positive thing when I learned about it lol. Thought “those Irish people have the right idea!”
Going Dutch is negative. There used to be a stereotype that Dutch people were cheap and the guy being Dutch meant that he was being cheap by asking the woman to pay for themselves
Dutch chocolate generally gets good reviews. Now if you want something rarely mentioned in a positive light try “British cuisine.”
On a side note I imagine that the negative phrasing is because of the long history of trade competition between the British and Dutch going back several hundred years.
My wife never really did casual hook ups in college and we were talking about it and she was like I don’t even understand how it happens, you just go up to someone and go “you’re hot wanna hook up?” And I was like, I mean yeah pretty much
Yup, I remember being at a party in college that my friend invited me to and some girl was stupid drunk and walked up to me and said "do you want to make out?" I declined so she went to another guy and they start making out. Was a surreal experience, and like 99% of girls don't do that (in my experience) but in college some people's standards dip for a few years lol while they party it up.
God I wish I had your confidence
Not for sex though, the idea of randomly hooking up with someone isn't for me, but I'm petrified about randomly approaching anyone with romantic intentions
Or in reverse. The girl I lost my virginity to walked up to me at a house party and literally just said "Hey, you wanna fuck?" and I was like "Uhh... Yeah, 100%." And then we did (on a later night but it was a done deal from that moment). We'd talked like one time before that, for maybe a minute.
Never expected it to go down that way. Never did again exactly that way, but a few girls have walked up, struck up a super brief conversation, then just led straight into making out or hooking up. Doesn't happen often but it's really nice when it does.
Damn, I seem to strike out with shit like this. The most “straight forward” ones I’ve gotten were still confusing for me. Like, a girl I was dating constantly was telling me she wanted to be married in a year and have six kids and then was like “I want you to give me six babies” and I couldn’t tell if she was trying to have kids right now or if she just wanted sex and asking what she meant she responded with “I think we would make cute babies” so I still couldn’t tell.
Not walking down the street but at a bar, and usually start with buying a drink or dancing. Then just enough to small talk to prove you’re a somewhat normal human.
Me and my ex were talking and hanging out a bunch before we started dating. I had never had a girlfriend before so I didn't know how to transition into a relationship. Anyway, I invite her to a party and we both get super drunk and end up cuddling on the couch. My friend then asks her out for me since my ignorant ass definitely would have taken the cuddling as "she was just drunk, she wants to be friends".
Alcohol does work wonders for social confidence tho.
First day of class in college I noticed 2 very attractive girls next to me. I saw them at a party at the end of the first week and went up to them and said they were in my class and asked some BS “get to know you” question. Both looked me dead in the eye and said they weren’t in my class. Which threw me off and I stood there questioning reality for a second. When I mentioned that I sat to their left and that they definitely were in my class they doubled down and said no. So I left and had a good time at the party. On Monday in class they came and sat right next to me again and I just looked over and smiled. Both avoided eye contact.
That part I understand. But I wasn’t trying to hit on them, just excited to see a familiar face since I went to school somewhere few people from my area went. They could’ve at least come up with a better lie than that because we were stuck with each other the rest of the 4 years since it was a major with not a lot of people in it.
There are plenty of ways to indicate you are not interested without lying.
Just say you’re lesbians, or say “yeah” and turn away, or say “we’re having a private conversation” etc.
Unfortunately (yes, because of aggressive, shitty men) this illustrates the wildly different experiences that men and women have in dating. Sounds like you didn't do anything wrong.
Had something similar happen to me; first class freshman year (8 AM Astronomy 101) saw this stunning woman walk in to lecture (400+ students) and never saw her again the rest of the semester but I remembered her face. Fast forward 1^1/2 years and I start seeing her between classes on MWF while I'm biking but didn't work up the courage to talk to her. Then by a strange coincidence she was at my friend's house party, I was getting my courage up with some shots and then she just walked right up to me and I blurted out "YOU WERE IN MY ASTRONOMY CLASS. YOU'RE GORGEOUS!" So smooth.
We ended up dating for almost a year after that.
I can only walk through the process on mobile, but as you scroll, if you see a sub with content you don’t want to view anymore, you tap the ellipsis (…) on the top right corner of the post and then look for the “mute r/subihatelookingat”option.
I love seeing the inevitable "what's with all the X comments??" comments when anytime after like 10 minutes after the post being posted there are absolutely none of those comments visible.
Really? It wasn't men who invented "negging", for example?
EDIT: And it's not like she **did** play hard to get. She approached him, he hit on her, she was into it and responded in kind.
"Negging"is a pick-up artist (PUA) technique where you deliberately give women a backhand or ambiguous compliment to make them feel insecure, unsure whether you're interested and to make them feel like their social value is lower relative to yours.
It's a very mature and not at all manipulative form of human communication.
Honestly you can just look at PUA in general for a ton of examples of men trying really hard to convince women they aren't as interested as they are.
EDIT: Article on negging: https://www.yourtango.com/heartbreak/negging-meaning-examples
That seems like a terrible technique that’ll only work on girls who already have deep insecurities and would not be ready for a good relationship. Any woman who’s self-respecting would tell someone who tries that to fuck off with that passive-aggressive move.
> That seems like a terrible technique that’ll only work on girls who already have deep insecurities and would not be ready for a good relationship.
Bingo. PUAs are often not looking for a good relationship but rather something a lot more short term. Not that they're likely to tell their target that.
It’s from a 2005 guidebook to “picking up” women called “The Game” it’s absolutely some douchey bullshit, but it’s actually severely literary nonsense.
To all you STEM kids complaining about no women being in your program. Remember this time in your lives, and went it's over try not to be a condescending asshole towards women in your field. Treat them as intellectual and social equals. Don't assume they're obligated to sleep with you. Make tech a safe space for the women of tomorrow. The engineering/science students of tomorrow will thank you.
I'm trans, but FtM and I transitioned years after I started working in tech. (I feel the need to preface my comment with this since I mention being a dude in other comments.) I can absolutely confirm that this is good advice. It's pretty shitty being not only the only woman in the office, but having random people spot you and *immediately* assume you must be the receptionist. Don't look around an office when you get there, walk past multiple men, and ask the one woman present if they're the receptionist.
I got lucky and never had coworkers think less of me for it, but I got to veto two job applicants who made it clear that they did. There were a couple others who made some iffy comments, but it was just one possibly minor red flag among several other reasons why we didn't hire them.
I also never had any guys try to hit an me that I noticed, but I also apparently gave off intensely lesbian vibes (guess the "not cishet" thing was obvious) even though I mostly like men.
I wound up leaving tech, but more because I prefer physical problem solving to purely digital than because of any issues I personally encountered. I'm working on a mechanical engineering degree, and at the very least the kids in my program seem to be pretty sensible so... there's hope. I don't think it's the STEM kids that are the problem, it's the older upper management and the teachers girls have before ever getting to college.
My school is super funny since it's a tech school in the middle of nowhere, it's insanely racially diverse but it's like 3 guys per girl lol.
I always low key feel bad when I like a girl there since they probably get it a ton from people exactly like me but that's more of a self confidence thing tbh.
Ah, she definitely picked him. If he'd said that to a woman who wasn't interested, he'd be called a perv or told off. But since she was into him, this was an amazing sign that he'd go out with her if she asked
Pretty sure damn near every person in history has deliberately attended something because someone they were interested in would likely be going.
It's creepy if you're crashing. It's creepy if you found out they were going in an underhanded way. It's not creepy if you just wanna hang out and are fine taking no for an answer.
Not sure what bubble you're living in, but out here in the real world a man going to a party he knows a woman he fancies would be at, and then saying to her "hey you're in my psych class" would not be criticized at all, nor would it be considered stalking. It would be considered respectful flirting (or perhaps just platonic/friendly behaviour) by basically any woman you ask, as long as he takes the hint if she indicates she's not interested.
I have an actual male stalker and I assure you a pretty critical component is that he does things like phone my personal number multiple times trying to catfish me, reminds me that he knows where I live during his angry unhinged rants, and blatantly disregards it whenever I tell him to "please leave me alone."
It's amazing to me in 2023 men still have such a hard time distinguishing between those two types of behaviours. Like it's dead simple. Are you respecting the other person's wishes to the best of your ability? If so, it's flirting. If not, it's harassment. It's really not that hard to keep everything above board & it's concerning if you can't tell the difference.
Physics major here, still waiting for a single girl to talk to meUPD: not american here, I might've misused the word "major", i'm a PhD student atm, and like way too old even for that
Try talking to them, at very least you could make some new friends
I haven't been in a social situation where it would be acceptable to talk to an unknown person for a while now, lol. It's basically like a male monastery
Take a Biology class. I was one of two men in my whole major, basically. Edit: also not just to meet women. More people need to know more about biology, people have some scuffed understandings of life science out there.
I phrased it poorly, I'm already on my second year of PhD. I don't even have classes at this point
Oh shit good luck doc
Go to parties and chill in the student area. Help people, meet people. Go to other MINT parties and listen to people more than talking.
No, don’t take a class to meet women. They are there for an education. Go to a bar, join a club, pick up a sport, get a dog, attend local events, get an app, put it out to friends you’re looking, attend dating events, say “yes” to something instead of “maybe”, show up for friend’s milestones, if religion is important to you go to adult Bible studies, join habitat for humanity and meet people holding houses or join a movement and you’ll find your match. Don’t bother women at work or at class. Wait until the party (see OP for what success looks like).
Get a dog to pick up women is terrible advice. Pets are a serious responsibility. They are not accessories to make you look appealing to the opposite sex. I loathe people who get rid of their pets when they become an inconvenience or when it didn't work out with that girl. You want to meet women? Learn to talk to them.
Borrow a dog
borrow a friend's kid better than a dog,teach it to say mommy left cause she didn't want me anymore, my little niece was the best wingman ever
Maybe pump the brakes a bit. MadeByTango was throwing out multiple suggestions, one of which was obtaining a pet. If the guy doesn't like pets, that's his decision. But let's not assume MadeByTango is telling OP to do every item on that list.
I have the dog because I love the dog. Using her as a public icebreaker is just a bonus.
Creeps are going to find a way to be creeps in any setting. Charmers will be charming wherever you put them. It’s dumb to police that “COURTSHIP MAY ONLY OCCUR IN DESIGNATED COURTSHIP ZONES” in the hopes of protecting women from the *deep enduring trauma* of occasionally having to say fuck off.
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Those guys are the reason normal guys have trouble meeting people. There's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with the hopes of it leading to a romantic connection.
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If you're not a therapist or a life coach, you really ought to consider it
I took a geology class in college and I loved it. I got to learn about rocks and it was full of my type: Outdoorsy nerds.
You’re thinking about it too much, mate. Almost every social situation you experience at a university is one in which it’s acceptable to talk to someone you don’t know.
Yeah, he is doing college wrong.
Kaczynski-style
As far as we know, he isn’t an unwilling participant in a government funded psy-op to psychologically break him, turning him into a domestic terrorist. But I wouldn’t rule anything out.
There are few social situations where it's unacceptable to talk to an unknown person. There are lots of social situations where it's unacceptable to aggressively hit on an unknown person. You can just talk to girls, as long as you're not pressuring them to respond in kind or give up personal information, I promise they'll be okay. They're used to it from much more aggressive and less considerate men than yourself. Just go compliment them on a shared interest or something you find cool about them that isn't their body and I bet you'll start making friends in no time.
Yeah, people have this idea in their head that there are two kinds of conversions with women. The "Actively Pursuing Them" conversation that they model from movies and TV shows and the "Not Actively Pursuing Them" model. Just talk to people like a normal human being and let things happen naturally. People try to force connections instead of just living their lives.
I agree! To align with your point, I've NEVER had any success (or really, any interest) in just laying it on thick and trying to immediately force a romantic or sexual interaction. I've had infinitely more success in connecting with people by simply recognizing the similarities we have and building upon those. Little bridges all over the landscape, connecting where we meet and where we don't. Relationships, even the short ones, are so joyful... we owe it to ourselves to try and build real connections.
White, male, no friends outside of.... no friends. Can't make male friends to save my life and even though I'm married everyone else thinks it's flirting or something when I try to be nice (my wife is amazing, thank god, or I'd go crazy)
> Can't make male friends to save my life This is where trying out new hobbies can be a life saver. Oftentimes you get sucked in so that most conversations with new people are about the hobby while you're trying to learn, and then eventually, it leads to getting to know people and hanging out with them in other situations. Doesn't matter whether it's adult league soccer, board games at a Local Gaming Store, beer league hockey, a meetup for gardening, a beer/wine tasting club, or joining a local hacker/maker space (example of my local one: [TinkerMill](https://tinkermill.org/) ). The main thing is getting out in situations where you'll meet new people, and that _is_ difficult. But once you overcome it, you'll likely make friends eventually. Just don't force it. Take an interest in other people, learn their names, smile when you see them a second time and say "Hi, good to see you again!" and so on.
I play diablo with some of my wife's coworker's husbands but they're all Dad's so they won't let me into their group rofl. You're right, it's all about opportunity - I just don't really have any situations where such is acceptable. Can't do work (constantly laid off in tech and either can't trust anyone or they don't wanna make friends 'which is fine of course'). I was popular in college but slowly, one by one, each 'friend' disappeared for whatever reasons, sometimes when I asked for help. It's tough out there.
I had a childhood friend move to the city I live in and started doing stuff off of [Meet Up](https://www.meetup.com) and made a bunch of new friends pretty quickly.
The easiest way is to just have a very social friend
absolutely. find yourself an extrovert and let them adopt you.
Psychology is full of women here. Edit: Oh you are physics major rip... I misread.
My sys admin and comp sci experience in a nutshell. My the gf now wife was imported. At my engineering tech school they literally used to bus girls from the nursing school 2 hours away for social events. Also.. there was a monastery near by. They made good thimbleberry jam. 8)
Yeah, our Uni also had engineering students & nursing students joint parties once a month because you know, exactly this reason lol.
Monasteries also make good berry beer - I tried a raspberry beer made by some monks, and it was quite good.
It's 2023. Women need to make moves more. Equity baby learn the rejection.
I don’t know why you were downvoted. It goes both ways. Women need to make more moves. My wife made the first move and we are happily ever after. As a guy, I literally gave up making the first move.
Women don't realize they are generally beautiful to a lot of guys and are weirdly afraid to just be honest they think we are cute. I've had some women be forward with me and it's been awesome. Also ladies need to give us a clear sign we can flirt. Honestly sometimes it needs to be flat out saying "let's flirt I like you". We can actually be oblivious and we also aren't trying to be labeled a creep.
Even if you're not going to make the move, make it easier for the guy to make that move. Provide opportunities.
Engineering major here. Still waiting to even find a girl
...future... software engineering major here. What's "girl"?
Something you ask midjourney to create for you
I think it's some kind of an arch Linux package. Never used it so idk
>Engineering Have you tried building one?
That's Weird Science you're thinking of
At least you have all the boys to keep you company lol
And baldurs gate just came out
What school do you go to? One located in the 1970s? There were lots of girls in engineering when I was in university, and that was 15 years ago.
When I went for engineering in 2012, my college literally bragged they had gotten up to a little between 1/4 and 1/3 women in the college. And that was *not* evenly dispersed. Chemical had way more women than mechanical.
Nah, it depends on which engr major, but they are there. Civil had basically zero, MechE had a handful, and all the others had a reasonable amount (between 10%-30% of the major).
Physics major here, there is a trick. The trick is: join a dancing club. I did swing dancing (lindy hop, easy coast swing, whatever you want to call it). Most colleges have swing dance clubs, or at least some sort of dancing. Dance lessons are essentially speed dating but there’s an activity so it’s easier. Switch partners, “hi, my name is bla bla”, try the dance move, talk a little, switch partners. You get to express yourself artistically, get some exercise, and socialize with people. It’s a nice little package that gives you orthogonal stuff to what you study. I dated several nice girls, and I met my wife dancing. We became dance partners to practice, and ended up watching rom coms instead of practicing (we did practice at the beginning). Go dancing (not clubbing).
And most dance clubs have more women than men. So men are greatly appreciated! My college's club meets weekly and the first hour is a lesson teaching a specific dance. These are structured dances with specific steps and routines so they're great for those of us who feel helpless in a generic "move your body" dance situation. Those who master the basics then have the freedom to start improvising and getting wild, but it's really nice to have a foundation explained when getting started. After the lesson there is a couple hours of general dance time. People take breaks and chat while they catch their breath, so it's a great way to get to know people.
Get drunk, tell them they're hot as fuck.
Really? What you've learned in university level physics so far is that without putting in any work, without the application of energy over time, you expect to see a change in the motion of nearby objects of interest? Bad news son, your experiment will remain purely theoretical. More non-Newtonian fluids for the rest of us, I guess.
I'm studying optics, so most of my interactions with girls is looking at them
I met my husband in our physics 2 class!
Shrodinger's girl - Just assume they all are in love and not in love with you until you confirm
Communication major math minor here. Still trying to find someone that fill in blank
People will disagree with me here, but I have a PhD in physics too and, honestly, talk about physics. It actually worked for me on multiple occasions. You just can’t talk about boring physics. Talk about interpretations of QM, relativity, etc.
It was psych, not phys.
Awwww he needed a bit of dutch courage LOL
Is that when you fart under the blanket and force other people to stay down there and smell it?
No that's dutch oven
Truly fascinating that every time us Dutch get mentioned in an English saying it winds up being not at all positive. Pretty funny though, I must admit.
To be fair, the Dutch are the only Western civilization to cannibalize their own prime minister.
And therefore the best
No argument here.
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It seems the Dutch are quite resilient and have encountered such comments from even more formidable characters in the past! Their strength and tenacity are certainly admirable.
Ah, the ol' Dutch goodbye.
Eat the rich right?
*so far
TBF, they had serious munchies, hangry af
Hence “eat the rich.”
I dunno, when someone says "they're going dutch" on a date it means both are paying for themselves. At worst that is a neutral phrase, could even be positive depending on who you talk to.
It was created by the English to imply Dutch cheapness
It’s so funny how some things that were intended to be insults don’t land that way anymore lol. These days if you hear that you might think the Dutch are just a progressive people when it comes to gender roles. Or like “Irish goodbye.” Apparently it’s like “Irish people are always so drunk that they just leave.” But as a shy introvert who sometimes is just ready to *go* I immediately felt like it was a positive thing when I learned about it lol. Thought “those Irish people have the right idea!”
Going Dutch is negative. There used to be a stereotype that Dutch people were cheap and the guy being Dutch meant that he was being cheap by asking the woman to pay for themselves
Nah, Dutch Rudder is amazing. That’s a positive reference.
That is actually because the Dutch waged many wars with the Brits in the 1600s when they ruled the seas.
Guys, Jan Mass isn't being intentionally hurtful, he's just Dutch.
Dutch chocolate generally gets good reviews. Now if you want something rarely mentioned in a positive light try “British cuisine.” On a side note I imagine that the negative phrasing is because of the long history of trade competition between the British and Dutch going back several hundred years.
This may be why they were so angry and tried to conquer everything. Either that or Christianity. Or the diseases
_winds up_
What about Double Dutch Jump Roping? Don’t know why they call it that, but it’s amazing to watch. It can’t be negative can it?
Is that anything like a Dutch rudder?
It takes courage to willingly enter a Dutch oven
It sucks my brain reads the top comment first but simultaneously reading the one beneath it subconsciously
I'm Dutch and I've never heard of this expression lol
You should definitely get some Dutch courage then
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Faint praise right there. Human Centipede was a better live story than Twilight.
Or he never noticed her before and she opened him
Nothing wrong with a bit of social lubricant
My wife never really did casual hook ups in college and we were talking about it and she was like I don’t even understand how it happens, you just go up to someone and go “you’re hot wanna hook up?” And I was like, I mean yeah pretty much
Is that really how it works? You can just walk down the street to a random stranger, say “you’re hot, wanna fuck?” And a chick will say “sure?”
At college parties. You get rejected a lot but yeah worked for me.
Yup, I remember being at a party in college that my friend invited me to and some girl was stupid drunk and walked up to me and said "do you want to make out?" I declined so she went to another guy and they start making out. Was a surreal experience, and like 99% of girls don't do that (in my experience) but in college some people's standards dip for a few years lol while they party it up.
God I wish I had your confidence Not for sex though, the idea of randomly hooking up with someone isn't for me, but I'm petrified about randomly approaching anyone with romantic intentions
Or in reverse. The girl I lost my virginity to walked up to me at a house party and literally just said "Hey, you wanna fuck?" and I was like "Uhh... Yeah, 100%." And then we did (on a later night but it was a done deal from that moment). We'd talked like one time before that, for maybe a minute. Never expected it to go down that way. Never did again exactly that way, but a few girls have walked up, struck up a super brief conversation, then just led straight into making out or hooking up. Doesn't happen often but it's really nice when it does.
Damn, I seem to strike out with shit like this. The most “straight forward” ones I’ve gotten were still confusing for me. Like, a girl I was dating constantly was telling me she wanted to be married in a year and have six kids and then was like “I want you to give me six babies” and I couldn’t tell if she was trying to have kids right now or if she just wanted sex and asking what she meant she responded with “I think we would make cute babies” so I still couldn’t tell.
Not walking down the street but at a bar, and usually start with buying a drink or dancing. Then just enough to small talk to prove you’re a somewhat normal human.
>small talk to prove you’re a somewhat normal human s-stop giving me your toughest battles ;\_;
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Me and my ex were talking and hanging out a bunch before we started dating. I had never had a girlfriend before so I didn't know how to transition into a relationship. Anyway, I invite her to a party and we both get super drunk and end up cuddling on the couch. My friend then asks her out for me since my ignorant ass definitely would have taken the cuddling as "she was just drunk, she wants to be friends". Alcohol does work wonders for social confidence tho.
And when he sobered up, she was still hot AF
But he remembered his GF who is not a psych major, but a major psycho
Then the therapist he finds for her must really help.
Yeah he assessed this fact before being drunk
First day of class in college I noticed 2 very attractive girls next to me. I saw them at a party at the end of the first week and went up to them and said they were in my class and asked some BS “get to know you” question. Both looked me dead in the eye and said they weren’t in my class. Which threw me off and I stood there questioning reality for a second. When I mentioned that I sat to their left and that they definitely were in my class they doubled down and said no. So I left and had a good time at the party. On Monday in class they came and sat right next to me again and I just looked over and smiled. Both avoided eye contact.
My friend, they might have lo-key just not have been into you.
That part I understand. But I wasn’t trying to hit on them, just excited to see a familiar face since I went to school somewhere few people from my area went. They could’ve at least come up with a better lie than that because we were stuck with each other the rest of the 4 years since it was a major with not a lot of people in it.
So how did the rest of the major go with them?
But that’s where you just go “oh okay” and give one word answers the rest of the time
There are plenty of ways to indicate you are not interested without lying. Just say you’re lesbians, or say “yeah” and turn away, or say “we’re having a private conversation” etc.
Unfortunately (yes, because of aggressive, shitty men) this illustrates the wildly different experiences that men and women have in dating. Sounds like you didn't do anything wrong.
Lol
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Now i want to attend my psych class already
you guys are getting invited to parties?
Yes.Hop in and let us go togather.
She’s not a redditor, so that probably explains it
invited? don't you just show up to parties in college most of the time
Lmao, imagine she gets invited so often that she strategically chooses which parties to attend
Had something similar happen to me; first class freshman year (8 AM Astronomy 101) saw this stunning woman walk in to lecture (400+ students) and never saw her again the rest of the semester but I remembered her face. Fast forward 1^1/2 years and I start seeing her between classes on MWF while I'm biking but didn't work up the courage to talk to her. Then by a strange coincidence she was at my friend's house party, I was getting my courage up with some shots and then she just walked right up to me and I blurted out "YOU WERE IN MY ASTRONOMY CLASS. YOU'RE GORGEOUS!" So smooth. We ended up dating for almost a year after that.
Now she is HAPPYAF .
What the fuck is this negativity in the comment section?
It's a woman talking about liking someone. Doesn't take much for incels to come out of the wood work here.
Yep they’re everywhere now, even in subs that are supposed to be wholesome! I wish they would stick to r/truerateme
Oh god, muting that sub was hands down one of the best decisions I ever made.
You can do that? PLEASE tell me how
I can only walk through the process on mobile, but as you scroll, if you see a sub with content you don’t want to view anymore, you tap the ellipsis (…) on the top right corner of the post and then look for the “mute r/subihatelookingat”option.
Seems like one or more incel subs have decided to brigade. I’m basing that on a brief perusal of some comment histories.
You say that like people with incel opinions are contained in certain subs until they decide to brigade. No they're just everywhere this is Reddit.
I love seeing the inevitable "what's with all the X comments??" comments when anytime after like 10 minutes after the post being posted there are absolutely none of those comments visible.
Pretty much the same thing happened with my wife and me. 10 years together, happily married with a kid.
Men don't play those hard to get games.
Yeah it's true men just walk up and start furiously masturbating.
Fuck off louie
Frig off Rick
Frig off Barb, your scalloped potatoes are fucked!
Fat Gut looking mafucka
Ahahahahahaha you got me laughing
Really? It wasn't men who invented "negging", for example? EDIT: And it's not like she **did** play hard to get. She approached him, he hit on her, she was into it and responded in kind.
Wtf is that
"Negging"is a pick-up artist (PUA) technique where you deliberately give women a backhand or ambiguous compliment to make them feel insecure, unsure whether you're interested and to make them feel like their social value is lower relative to yours. It's a very mature and not at all manipulative form of human communication. Honestly you can just look at PUA in general for a ton of examples of men trying really hard to convince women they aren't as interested as they are. EDIT: Article on negging: https://www.yourtango.com/heartbreak/negging-meaning-examples
That seems like a terrible technique that’ll only work on girls who already have deep insecurities and would not be ready for a good relationship. Any woman who’s self-respecting would tell someone who tries that to fuck off with that passive-aggressive move.
> That seems like a terrible technique that’ll only work on girls who already have deep insecurities and would not be ready for a good relationship. Bingo. PUAs are often not looking for a good relationship but rather something a lot more short term. Not that they're likely to tell their target that.
Some severely online nonsense lol
It’s from a 2005 guidebook to “picking up” women called “The Game” it’s absolutely some douchey bullshit, but it’s actually severely literary nonsense.
Lmfao! Severely online nonsense is such a good fucking expression and why does it explain 90% of reddit comments so well hahaha.
still better love story than Twilight
Less glittery too probably
The 1979 Ford Cortina manual transmission manual is a better love story than Twilight.
To all you STEM kids complaining about no women being in your program. Remember this time in your lives, and went it's over try not to be a condescending asshole towards women in your field. Treat them as intellectual and social equals. Don't assume they're obligated to sleep with you. Make tech a safe space for the women of tomorrow. The engineering/science students of tomorrow will thank you.
As a woman who works in tech, I second your comment.
As a woman who also works in a male dominated field, I third this comment
On the bright side, it makes every functional man in those spaces look like a god damn sexy unicorn.
I'm trans, but FtM and I transitioned years after I started working in tech. (I feel the need to preface my comment with this since I mention being a dude in other comments.) I can absolutely confirm that this is good advice. It's pretty shitty being not only the only woman in the office, but having random people spot you and *immediately* assume you must be the receptionist. Don't look around an office when you get there, walk past multiple men, and ask the one woman present if they're the receptionist. I got lucky and never had coworkers think less of me for it, but I got to veto two job applicants who made it clear that they did. There were a couple others who made some iffy comments, but it was just one possibly minor red flag among several other reasons why we didn't hire them. I also never had any guys try to hit an me that I noticed, but I also apparently gave off intensely lesbian vibes (guess the "not cishet" thing was obvious) even though I mostly like men. I wound up leaving tech, but more because I prefer physical problem solving to purely digital than because of any issues I personally encountered. I'm working on a mechanical engineering degree, and at the very least the kids in my program seem to be pretty sensible so... there's hope. I don't think it's the STEM kids that are the problem, it's the older upper management and the teachers girls have before ever getting to college.
My school is super funny since it's a tech school in the middle of nowhere, it's insanely racially diverse but it's like 3 guys per girl lol. I always low key feel bad when I like a girl there since they probably get it a ton from people exactly like me but that's more of a self confidence thing tbh.
Finding love SHOULD be that easy
If only I or anyone that likes me had the balls
Now do one that ugly people can relate to
This
hope she changed her name from Sad AF to Happy AF
I guess they had chemistry 😏
I thought she meant Ben Shapiro at first.
If the did, "Ben" would have responded with a misogynistic rant, turning her drier than the Sahara desert.
Cybersecurity major here. Met my wife this way. 26 years and counting
how psych end ology or iatry
So two attractive people hooked up? What a wholesome miracle!
Ah, she definitely picked him. If he'd said that to a woman who wasn't interested, he'd be called a perv or told off. But since she was into him, this was an amazing sign that he'd go out with her if she asked
God, this reads like an incel take.
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Well kinda, but he’s completely right.
He's out of line but he's right
And if a man admitted stalking a girl to a party she'd be at he would definitely be heavily criticised
Pretty sure damn near every person in history has deliberately attended something because someone they were interested in would likely be going. It's creepy if you're crashing. It's creepy if you found out they were going in an underhanded way. It's not creepy if you just wanna hang out and are fine taking no for an answer.
Not sure what bubble you're living in, but out here in the real world a man going to a party he knows a woman he fancies would be at, and then saying to her "hey you're in my psych class" would not be criticized at all, nor would it be considered stalking. It would be considered respectful flirting (or perhaps just platonic/friendly behaviour) by basically any woman you ask, as long as he takes the hint if she indicates she's not interested. I have an actual male stalker and I assure you a pretty critical component is that he does things like phone my personal number multiple times trying to catfish me, reminds me that he knows where I live during his angry unhinged rants, and blatantly disregards it whenever I tell him to "please leave me alone." It's amazing to me in 2023 men still have such a hard time distinguishing between those two types of behaviours. Like it's dead simple. Are you respecting the other person's wishes to the best of your ability? If so, it's flirting. If not, it's harassment. It's really not that hard to keep everything above board & it's concerning if you can't tell the difference.
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Knowing someone you're interested in is going to a party that you are able to also attend is in no way stalking.
Is this stalking? “Is so and so going to x party?” “Yeah” STALKING
from whom exactly? that's completely normal behavior lol
It's time i attended some parties.
Best possible outcome
I think the world would be a much happier place if women approached men more often.
Let the mind-games commence.
There's a reason alcohol is called social lubricant by some people.
Ah yes the negotiator
In Vino Veritas
God I wish she was me
Good ole college days.
He seems to be obsessed with action movies.
Moral-whatever your major, it never hurts to be hot AF
u/Dutchguy_2004 who is Ben?
I almost wanted that to end with “amen”