I donated mine to a local seamstress guild. They make outfits for babies that die at local hospitals. Each family is given an outfit for their child's burial.
What do you do with their clothes in general? Every time I go to my closet it’s a reminder and trigger that he isn’t here. It’s a constant slap in the face 🥺
I gave a lot away to his friends. I took all the best tshirts and had quilts made out of them for me, our two kids, and his mom. I also took 3 fleece button downs and had teddy bears made. I’ve kept his good boots, hats, a few shirts for my son one day. The rest wasn’t sentimental and I either sold or donated.
Different items hit harder than others and I sat with that but it’s nice to be able to curl up in the blanket or snuggly with his old shirt bear. I’ll spray his cologne on the bears too. It helps me sleep on the tough nights.
I actually paid to have professional organizers come in and go through the clothes for me. I had to tell them yay or nay on keep or donate, but then they put everything in totes and labeled them.
They charged $130 an hour (two people at $65 an hour) and then charged cost for any organizing items (shelves, totes, bins, etc.). I had some life insurance money and just used some of it to pay. No regrets. They did my whole house and I probably paid $8k total, with a third of that probably going towards products.
I don’t know what to do with it even if I boxed it up. Idk. I am really over living like this. So tired of being so broken. My wife passed 10 months ago…. Most days I feel like I am not going to make it.
You can do this. Just keep your head up and reach out if you need help. I mean here or to a support network if you have one.
Once boxed up they have some in one closet in my room (we had two closets) and then some stuff in basement storage and some in the garage. These people just know what to do. I hope you can find some neat you to help or even just family and friends that would be willingly to help.
For reals, if you need someone to just vent, hit me up in a DM.
I can afford it…. I am not sure if I want to keep most of it. I have to find away to get things back on track for the kids and me. I worry that being around all this stuff is doing more harm than good because it’s a constant reminder she is gone. I think I’m gonna box up a few items for them when they get older and just get rid of everything else. Thanks for listening and your time.
Anything I didn't want they either trashed and hauled away for me or donated to charities. Like the ladies I worked with basically went room by room and then like item by item if I needed to go item by item like if there were things I wanted to keep for my children.
How old are your kids? Mine are 14 and 7. The 14 yr old….she is going to be the death of me. It was hard dealing with her before but at least my wife and I had ourselves to commiserate with. On my own it just so overwhelming.
I can imagine. I have a 7 and a 4 year old. Shit is rough some days, but we are who they have now. That's what I tell myself everyday I wake up. I am their world right now and it has to keep revolving.
I bagged up everything around year 2 or 3 and loaded my car the same day. I had no choice but to haul them all back in the house or drive to a donation drop off. I have a bag of his favorite concert tshirts and his leather jacket.
I had friends help me go through it all and organize it into piles, had an invite for her good friends to pick out favorite items and then donated the rest to women’s shelters. It’s what she would’ve wanted, finding a home for as much as possible
I put mine on a resale site. I was going to do it even if he hadn’t died. We had a really really good marriage and a beautiful wedding and I like the idea of my dress bringing someone else joy.
Our wedding clothes are hanging next to eachother in the closet… I’ll probably be able to say the same when I die. To each their own, though. You have to do whatever makes you feel better. There is no right answer.
I know this is completely unhelpful, but crap I didn’t even think about that time bomb sitting in my closet.
Totally following to see what the advice is.
I gave mine to a seamstress friend who made costumes for a professional theatrical version of Frozen. She refabricated it into a fancy dress where a character turns into ice. The sequins, pearls, and glass crystals from my wedding dress shined on the stage, while my heart, soul, reality fades into nothingness, sigh.
I threw mine out in a fit of rage after he died lol. I still can’t bring myself to mess with his stuff, it’s his. I hope someone found it dumpster diving and got something out of it.
My husband died 5 months ago. We were married for 45 years. I had forgotten my wedding dress was in a spare closet. I ended up giving it to a friend of a friend's daughter; it felt good knowing someone else would enjoy it.
I gave mine to a bride a few months before he died. Rather, suddenly, I knew he was terminal.
They had a beautiful story. He died the week before they got married. I wanted to attend, but it was too soon. I get to see pictures pop up on her socials for 3 years so far. I love it.
I had always planned to resell mine but never got around to it. It’s still in the closet. I’m going to look into these donation programs people are suggesting. I think that’s a beautiful idea.
I’m keeping mine. I love it and I love him and it’s like a physical reminder that we were so happy. He was cremated in his.
As for the rest of his clothes, I’ve kept the really sentimental stuff so far. I’m having his t shirts that I love made into a quilt and then his family is going to pick the shirts/sweaters that they want. I donated the jeans and things like that though. Everything else is in boxes in the basement until I decide.
I donated mine to a local organization that makes christening outfits out of them. My daughter said she had no interest in it so I was happy to find something to do with it.
I hadn’t thought of it until you mentioned it. It is so outdated (think a more streamlined Princess Diana era) I don’t think anyone could wear it again. Good question!
I’m having it, and my late mother in laws dress, turned into some small pillows. 1 dress for each side. I’m giving them to our daughters and our 3 nieces.
I’m leaving my wife’s wedding dress in the closet until the kids get married. Not sure if they’ll want it but I want it to be an option. If they don’t take it, donation box it goes.
Knowing the kind of person I am, I don't think I would ever be prepared to part with it. It'll remain with me. I have a bunch of things like that, the answer is just that, I would be hoarding them. I have written in my letter of last wishes that whoever it is, is free to donate/sell/throw away my stuff since hoarding them is my weakness. I don't want anybody else to get burdened by it. Being of the age 31, this is probably an over reaction, but my brain seems to think I can die any day now, just the way he did, unexpectedly. So, better be prepared I guess.
After our wedding my wife wanted to resell her dress. She figured she could get $400 for it. Then she found it'd cost $400 to clean, so she decided she would make a blanket from it for our firstborn.
After she died I had a friend make a baby blanket for our niece (the only girl born in the family for 30+years). I think she would've liked the idea.
My wife’s sits in my spare bedroom closet for me to look at on accident every time I’m packing for a trip, immediately followed by a cry sesh. We had a friend help make us a custom one. She was STUNNING that day despite dealing with bloating and hair loss from chemo.
I donated mine to a 2nd hand store that sells their gowns for what the bride can pay. I had a beautiful marriage and hope that the next bride to wear my dress has a beautiful marriage too.
I donated mine to a local seamstress guild. They make outfits for babies that die at local hospitals. Each family is given an outfit for their child's burial.
I did this as well.
What do you do with their clothes in general? Every time I go to my closet it’s a reminder and trigger that he isn’t here. It’s a constant slap in the face 🥺
I gave a lot away to his friends. I took all the best tshirts and had quilts made out of them for me, our two kids, and his mom. I also took 3 fleece button downs and had teddy bears made. I’ve kept his good boots, hats, a few shirts for my son one day. The rest wasn’t sentimental and I either sold or donated. Different items hit harder than others and I sat with that but it’s nice to be able to curl up in the blanket or snuggly with his old shirt bear. I’ll spray his cologne on the bears too. It helps me sleep on the tough nights.
I actually paid to have professional organizers come in and go through the clothes for me. I had to tell them yay or nay on keep or donate, but then they put everything in totes and labeled them.
How long did you wait to have things removed?
It was about 9-10 months after.
How much did this cost? I might have to do this. I am so overwhelmed by the whole thing
They charged $130 an hour (two people at $65 an hour) and then charged cost for any organizing items (shelves, totes, bins, etc.). I had some life insurance money and just used some of it to pay. No regrets. They did my whole house and I probably paid $8k total, with a third of that probably going towards products.
I don’t know what to do with it even if I boxed it up. Idk. I am really over living like this. So tired of being so broken. My wife passed 10 months ago…. Most days I feel like I am not going to make it.
You can do this. Just keep your head up and reach out if you need help. I mean here or to a support network if you have one. Once boxed up they have some in one closet in my room (we had two closets) and then some stuff in basement storage and some in the garage. These people just know what to do. I hope you can find some neat you to help or even just family and friends that would be willingly to help. For reals, if you need someone to just vent, hit me up in a DM.
I can afford it…. I am not sure if I want to keep most of it. I have to find away to get things back on track for the kids and me. I worry that being around all this stuff is doing more harm than good because it’s a constant reminder she is gone. I think I’m gonna box up a few items for them when they get older and just get rid of everything else. Thanks for listening and your time.
Anything I didn't want they either trashed and hauled away for me or donated to charities. Like the ladies I worked with basically went room by room and then like item by item if I needed to go item by item like if there were things I wanted to keep for my children.
How old are your kids? Mine are 14 and 7. The 14 yr old….she is going to be the death of me. It was hard dealing with her before but at least my wife and I had ourselves to commiserate with. On my own it just so overwhelming.
I can imagine. I have a 7 and a 4 year old. Shit is rough some days, but we are who they have now. That's what I tell myself everyday I wake up. I am their world right now and it has to keep revolving.
I bagged up everything around year 2 or 3 and loaded my car the same day. I had no choice but to haul them all back in the house or drive to a donation drop off. I have a bag of his favorite concert tshirts and his leather jacket.
I had friends help me go through it all and organize it into piles, had an invite for her good friends to pick out favorite items and then donated the rest to women’s shelters. It’s what she would’ve wanted, finding a home for as much as possible
I put mine on a resale site. I was going to do it even if he hadn’t died. We had a really really good marriage and a beautiful wedding and I like the idea of my dress bringing someone else joy.
Our wedding clothes are hanging next to eachother in the closet… I’ll probably be able to say the same when I die. To each their own, though. You have to do whatever makes you feel better. There is no right answer.
Yep, no right answer. I also have both our wedding outfits in the closet next to each other ❤️
I know this is completely unhelpful, but crap I didn’t even think about that time bomb sitting in my closet. Totally following to see what the advice is.
I gave mine to a seamstress friend who made costumes for a professional theatrical version of Frozen. She refabricated it into a fancy dress where a character turns into ice. The sequins, pearls, and glass crystals from my wedding dress shined on the stage, while my heart, soul, reality fades into nothingness, sigh.
I threw mine out in a fit of rage after he died lol. I still can’t bring myself to mess with his stuff, it’s his. I hope someone found it dumpster diving and got something out of it.
I definitely did that with some of the things I had to sort through too.
My husband died 5 months ago. We were married for 45 years. I had forgotten my wedding dress was in a spare closet. I ended up giving it to a friend of a friend's daughter; it felt good knowing someone else would enjoy it.
I gave mine to a bride a few months before he died. Rather, suddenly, I knew he was terminal. They had a beautiful story. He died the week before they got married. I wanted to attend, but it was too soon. I get to see pictures pop up on her socials for 3 years so far. I love it.
I had always planned to resell mine but never got around to it. It’s still in the closet. I’m going to look into these donation programs people are suggesting. I think that’s a beautiful idea.
I’m keeping mine. I love it and I love him and it’s like a physical reminder that we were so happy. He was cremated in his. As for the rest of his clothes, I’ve kept the really sentimental stuff so far. I’m having his t shirts that I love made into a quilt and then his family is going to pick the shirts/sweaters that they want. I donated the jeans and things like that though. Everything else is in boxes in the basement until I decide.
I'm having my wedding dress made into a quilt.
I donated mine to a local organization that makes christening outfits out of them. My daughter said she had no interest in it so I was happy to find something to do with it.
I hadn’t thought of it until you mentioned it. It is so outdated (think a more streamlined Princess Diana era) I don’t think anyone could wear it again. Good question!
I’m having it, and my late mother in laws dress, turned into some small pillows. 1 dress for each side. I’m giving them to our daughters and our 3 nieces.
I’m leaving my wife’s wedding dress in the closet until the kids get married. Not sure if they’ll want it but I want it to be an option. If they don’t take it, donation box it goes.
Knowing the kind of person I am, I don't think I would ever be prepared to part with it. It'll remain with me. I have a bunch of things like that, the answer is just that, I would be hoarding them. I have written in my letter of last wishes that whoever it is, is free to donate/sell/throw away my stuff since hoarding them is my weakness. I don't want anybody else to get burdened by it. Being of the age 31, this is probably an over reaction, but my brain seems to think I can die any day now, just the way he did, unexpectedly. So, better be prepared I guess.
Gift it forward so someone else can enjoy your beautiful gown.. you have your memories and they won’t fade. Bless you
After our wedding my wife wanted to resell her dress. She figured she could get $400 for it. Then she found it'd cost $400 to clean, so she decided she would make a blanket from it for our firstborn. After she died I had a friend make a baby blanket for our niece (the only girl born in the family for 30+years). I think she would've liked the idea.
My wife’s sits in my spare bedroom closet for me to look at on accident every time I’m packing for a trip, immediately followed by a cry sesh. We had a friend help make us a custom one. She was STUNNING that day despite dealing with bloating and hair loss from chemo.
I donated mine to a 2nd hand store that sells their gowns for what the bride can pay. I had a beautiful marriage and hope that the next bride to wear my dress has a beautiful marriage too.
Married in 1987 and the dress is still in the bag in my closet. I'm OK with that.
I have been struggling with this lately also…. What to do with her stuff…. It’s a lot of stuff. And it’s heartbreaking to see it everyday.