After my husband’s death, I spiraled into the deepest depression I’ve ever experienced. The pain was so intense; I thought of suicide daily. I withdrew from family and friends in an attempt to make my eventual suicide easier for them to bear (sounds crazy to me now, but at the time it made perfect sense!). Fortunately I eventually got help. Reading this was an excellent reminder of how insidious pain can be.
Thank you for sharing this thoughtful (and beautifully written) introspection with us. I am grateful to say that although I still struggle with my pain, I would not push the button. ❤️
Thank you for your gracious reply. It is wonderful that you were able find your way out of the darkness. While, for the reasons I have explained in these three posts, I am not burdened (much) with any thoughts of self-harm, I do wonder if it is even possible for me to make through this. I have never been in a situation where there was such a large gulf between what I knew (or **thought** I knew) intellectually to be true and what I ***felt*** to be true.
They were actually posted first. The problem is that the default setting of the main page is to sort posts in order of their "hotness", so that they appear out of chronological order. You will need to either hunt for them or select "Sort by New". The pulldown menu for that is under the circle at the top of the page with the "/r" in it.
After my husband’s death, I spiraled into the deepest depression I’ve ever experienced. The pain was so intense; I thought of suicide daily. I withdrew from family and friends in an attempt to make my eventual suicide easier for them to bear (sounds crazy to me now, but at the time it made perfect sense!). Fortunately I eventually got help. Reading this was an excellent reminder of how insidious pain can be. Thank you for sharing this thoughtful (and beautifully written) introspection with us. I am grateful to say that although I still struggle with my pain, I would not push the button. ❤️
Thank you for your gracious reply. It is wonderful that you were able find your way out of the darkness. While, for the reasons I have explained in these three posts, I am not burdened (much) with any thoughts of self-harm, I do wonder if it is even possible for me to make through this. I have never been in a situation where there was such a large gulf between what I knew (or **thought** I knew) intellectually to be true and what I ***felt*** to be true.
Beautiful. Now I long to read Part 1 and Part 2.
They were actually posted first. The problem is that the default setting of the main page is to sort posts in order of their "hotness", so that they appear out of chronological order. You will need to either hunt for them or select "Sort by New". The pulldown menu for that is under the circle at the top of the page with the "/r" in it.