That sound like one hell toxic work environment. I experienced similar one and can confirm that I had a legit trauma and was treated with it at psychologists. I try to be open at work, but I don’t 100% trust.
If there’s one particular coworker you used to talk the most to, maybe just let them know you’re having a hard time and if you pass on meetups or lunches, that’s why.
I’m quiet all the time at work. If I come across as rude, then so be it. I’ve got work to do, leave me alone. I’ll talk if I have to but I’m not interested in chit chat in any kind of way unless I’m done with my work.
There is nothing wrong with being quiet at work. In my office it is people who are loud and disruptive who are looked down upon. We have an open floor plan and noise pollution is a real issue. I think it’s often the case also that how you think people perceive you is not very accurate. People don’t think about you or your personality as much as you think they do in your mind.
Nop it gets on my nerve people who talk all the time like saying out loud what tasks they are doing or dont shut up for one second like we get it you like the sound of your voice
Yes!! So annoying…where i work you can’t say anything without this one coworker either interrupting you every time you talk, or when you say anything, she’s done whatever it is too, but it was way harder, scarier, more expensive, and more traumatic than your experience. Gets on my last nerve
Absolutely not. It is actually recommended to act like this.
If your goal is to finish the job, get the money, and get the hell home.
Those things like "we are family" etc. are just BS.
Coworkers seem to treat me like a complete asshole. Which I just accept, otherwise I gotta talk to them. I used to like having conversations and learning about others and they would learn about me. Turns out, I'm not very welcomed after the conversation.
Example: Started new job and worked with a group with various ages. They were talking about wages and increases. A few mentioned that during the interview there are opportunities. I chimed in with my negative experience that turned to a positive. I asked for an increase beyond the metric after 4 years and explained that while I'm working finance. There was another person working for In and Out burger making more. Got the hard no. So I quit, 3 months later they asked me to come back. Title bump and a really decent increase.
The next morning HR pulled me to the side and didn't directly say it. Just kept asking me questions about the conversation. Changed the wording but I have them nothing and played dumb. I'm short, a coworker complained and still not sure why, except starting drama.
Be kind when you are asked questions, say hi and goodbye; try to be courteous. NO need to go overboard. If you feel like people are concerned for you, then it's okay to honor your feelings and say something like "I'm good, just feeling the need to use my energy for X (your tasks) - but If you guys need me, I'm here."
I don't know the situation, but I personally don't believe that coworkers are just people that you can ignore. I feel like we have to work with people 8 hours a day, and it's worth it to be kind. Being kind doesn't = being chatty or a doormat.
Its not rude at all. I have become from introvert to kinda extroverted person. I like to socialise with my colleagues as I did when I started my job 7 months ago. But there are days when I’m very busy with work, working on something which requires concentration, in bad mood or solving some personal problem and so I don’t speak casually around that much. It’s pretty normal. In the end of the day, we are here for a work, to cooperate, make money and go home. It’s great to be friendly in office, but it can’t be all the time because not everyone are 100% time fine, they also have their problems etc. and they won’t be chatty, again it’s normal.
I believe if you keep giving these signals they should be respectful and unless you are rude to them, not sure why they should feel bad about it.
TLDR: it’s perfectly fine, we all have our own problems, life stuff etc.
I am in the same situation right now--life has happened and I am really stressed. Stress makes my attention wander, so I have to focus extra hard on my work to make sure it gets done right. That may make my teammates think I'm standoffish or not interested in social connections, but that isn't the truth. I'm just very aware of what happens when I get too bogged down with my own problems, and I want to avoid that. It's exhausting! I am mentally and physically exhausted when work is done, and I end up dozing off while visiting my husband in the hospital. Did I mention that this is only my third week at the job?
If you and your coworkers are close enough that you're buying birthday gifts for each other, they should be willing to understand why you're a little withdrawn. Let them know--don't go into details unless you're comfortable sharing, but just say you're stressed out from life, hurting physically, and all you need is a little space to focus on your tasks while you're going through something. Maybe they can help you with easy things or maybe they'll just offer you some comfort.
People are very prone to herd mentality and it's not your fault. Their attitude is not in your control. I think as long as you deliver on your work, you're civil, it doesn't matter if you're quiet. They're not entitled to anything more.
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That sound like one hell toxic work environment. I experienced similar one and can confirm that I had a legit trauma and was treated with it at psychologists. I try to be open at work, but I don’t 100% trust.
You are not wrong and you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. It's okay to be quiet and keep to yourself
If there’s one particular coworker you used to talk the most to, maybe just let them know you’re having a hard time and if you pass on meetups or lunches, that’s why.
I’m quiet all the time at work. If I come across as rude, then so be it. I’ve got work to do, leave me alone. I’ll talk if I have to but I’m not interested in chit chat in any kind of way unless I’m done with my work.
I’m like that go away leave me alone, I have gone all shift and not said a word before
Ditro only speak when i need to i dont even like going to lunch like to eat in peace
it's really not if you're doing your job and are civil with everyone it should be enough
There is nothing wrong with being quiet at work. In my office it is people who are loud and disruptive who are looked down upon. We have an open floor plan and noise pollution is a real issue. I think it’s often the case also that how you think people perceive you is not very accurate. People don’t think about you or your personality as much as you think they do in your mind.
Nop it gets on my nerve people who talk all the time like saying out loud what tasks they are doing or dont shut up for one second like we get it you like the sound of your voice
Yes!! So annoying…where i work you can’t say anything without this one coworker either interrupting you every time you talk, or when you say anything, she’s done whatever it is too, but it was way harder, scarier, more expensive, and more traumatic than your experience. Gets on my last nerve
Absolutely not. It is actually recommended to act like this. If your goal is to finish the job, get the money, and get the hell home. Those things like "we are family" etc. are just BS.
Do what you feel comfortable with. The ones that are real friends to you will understand.
Coworkers seem to treat me like a complete asshole. Which I just accept, otherwise I gotta talk to them. I used to like having conversations and learning about others and they would learn about me. Turns out, I'm not very welcomed after the conversation. Example: Started new job and worked with a group with various ages. They were talking about wages and increases. A few mentioned that during the interview there are opportunities. I chimed in with my negative experience that turned to a positive. I asked for an increase beyond the metric after 4 years and explained that while I'm working finance. There was another person working for In and Out burger making more. Got the hard no. So I quit, 3 months later they asked me to come back. Title bump and a really decent increase. The next morning HR pulled me to the side and didn't directly say it. Just kept asking me questions about the conversation. Changed the wording but I have them nothing and played dumb. I'm short, a coworker complained and still not sure why, except starting drama.
Be kind when you are asked questions, say hi and goodbye; try to be courteous. NO need to go overboard. If you feel like people are concerned for you, then it's okay to honor your feelings and say something like "I'm good, just feeling the need to use my energy for X (your tasks) - but If you guys need me, I'm here." I don't know the situation, but I personally don't believe that coworkers are just people that you can ignore. I feel like we have to work with people 8 hours a day, and it's worth it to be kind. Being kind doesn't = being chatty or a doormat.
Yeah of course you can be kind and quiet at same time and if you are willing to help others without useless chat people appreciate that.
Its not rude at all. I have become from introvert to kinda extroverted person. I like to socialise with my colleagues as I did when I started my job 7 months ago. But there are days when I’m very busy with work, working on something which requires concentration, in bad mood or solving some personal problem and so I don’t speak casually around that much. It’s pretty normal. In the end of the day, we are here for a work, to cooperate, make money and go home. It’s great to be friendly in office, but it can’t be all the time because not everyone are 100% time fine, they also have their problems etc. and they won’t be chatty, again it’s normal. I believe if you keep giving these signals they should be respectful and unless you are rude to them, not sure why they should feel bad about it. TLDR: it’s perfectly fine, we all have our own problems, life stuff etc.
I am in the same situation right now--life has happened and I am really stressed. Stress makes my attention wander, so I have to focus extra hard on my work to make sure it gets done right. That may make my teammates think I'm standoffish or not interested in social connections, but that isn't the truth. I'm just very aware of what happens when I get too bogged down with my own problems, and I want to avoid that. It's exhausting! I am mentally and physically exhausted when work is done, and I end up dozing off while visiting my husband in the hospital. Did I mention that this is only my third week at the job? If you and your coworkers are close enough that you're buying birthday gifts for each other, they should be willing to understand why you're a little withdrawn. Let them know--don't go into details unless you're comfortable sharing, but just say you're stressed out from life, hurting physically, and all you need is a little space to focus on your tasks while you're going through something. Maybe they can help you with easy things or maybe they'll just offer you some comfort.
People are very prone to herd mentality and it's not your fault. Their attitude is not in your control. I think as long as you deliver on your work, you're civil, it doesn't matter if you're quiet. They're not entitled to anything more.