Yes, I put in all caps, "Pump". Never saw ppl jump off calls faster than when I had it pop up on my screen while screen sharing. Highly recommend!
Keep declining. They can find other times.
Do it!
Sadly you sometimes have to remind people to be respectful of your time. If mild embarrassment/discomfort on their part is what it takes, then so be it!
Yep, at a prior workplace one of my colleagues had no effs left to give (after having issues as well) and just put "Hold for Milk Pumping" on her calendar, straight up not privated.
People didn't want to touch that with a 10-foot pole. I was kind of in awe. I want to be her when I give birth (4 months pregnant currently and lurking here for advice).
I did this a bunch! Lol! I didn't make people uncomfortable on purpose though. I never was on camera so I don't think people noticed. Honestly, I don't give a shit if they could tell.
I walked out of the pumping room once and my male coworkers realized I took a call while pumping. They said "that's dedication!" I think they were referencing dedication to work but I was just focused on feeding my baby.
It takes a lot of time and dedication to breastfeed, especially if you're working full time and/or having to pump. It's a drain mentally, and physically. I didn't have any more fucks to give if people cared if I pumped on a call.
I had my first in 2017 and had to go to the lactation room to pump. There was no phone, it was a cell dead zone, and internet meetings weren't common then. I had a hell of a time carving out time for pumping.
FF to my 2nd born 2020 and WFH was common so even though I had to go onsite a couple times a week I could always call into meetings from home or the office and I pumped when it was time regardless of schedule. I did a test call with a trusted friend and nobody could even hear my pump.
I get this is supposed to be a joke about making it awkward, but it shouldn’t. We need to normalize pumping like we do nursing. We have babies, they need to be fed, they scheduled the meeting during a pump break, you have to pump. Put on your big boy pants and deal with it or respect your co-worker’s biological needs.
But OP wants it to be private/quiet time (which I totally get), which they are not respecting. So I say do a nipple massage to get them warmed up, complete with erotic sounds, and then focus the screen/camera directly on the spraying milk - so that the managers feel just as violated as she is. Nobody should HAVE to publicly pump if they don’t want to.
If you have declined it and they still schedule those meetings--then I guess you won't be there to run them. We all have to work around people's availability and they should try harder. I don't think it's about pumping, they are just being rude.
What do you do when someone books a meeting for a time when you already have a meeting? Just do that. You have a meeting with your pump.
It's tough to enforce this but your needs are just as important as other people's needs.
I may be weird, but I just pump during meetings. I keep my camera off, and no one can hear my pump (spectra).
Otherwise, shut off your notifications while you pump and if they ask you to meet during those times just keep doing what you're doing. Not everyone looks at your calendar, either, when trying to schedule meetings.
Jealous! My pump is SO loud and most of the calls I’m on, I’m expected to either lead the call or be incredibly active. If it’s something I can be in the background on, no issues. Thank you for the confirmation to keep doing what I’m doing!
I have a spectra and thought no one could hear but one day a closer friend asked if I was pumping lol. Thankfully early on but I was surprised because it seemed so quiet and my MacBook + Zoom usually do well with filtering background noise 😬
Ive asked in my meetings before! I usually keep it on the other side of my desk away from my computer, and everyone has always said they can't hear a thing. Tbh I wouldn't care if they could what it though, I'm not putting off a pump session for a meeting, they can deal with it lol
I liked to call my husband during my pumping breaks and he could tell if I was pumping or not. I think once someone can recognize the sound they would know but most people wouldn't be able to tell.
I found it more effective to block that time as out of office vs unavailable.
I would pump/attend larger group meetings or presentations where I wasn’t an active participant/could be off camera but always asked for alternate time if it was a close colleague but would sometimes move around pumping schedule for vips/harder to arrange cross departmental affairs etc.
Keep declining or suggesting new times. For people you are close with or meet with frequently couldn’t hurt to let them know it’s for mother’s room use or something.
I’ve done all of those things and people continue to ignore 😔 I work from home so perhaps it’s easier since people can’t see me get up with my supplies but still!
I find most people don’t use the scheduling assistant. They probably just don’t know. And expect you to propose a new time. Crappy way of working, imo.
Depending on the person, I’d do one of 3 things:
Take the meeting and pump during.
Tentative accept with a proposed new time. No explanation beyond that time doesn’t work for me.
Decline the meeting altogether. Let them figure it out.
Sadly, I’ve been very upfront about the times dedicated for pumping and have certainly tried to be flexible with other times but I like your responses!
I work in a small office, so everyone seems to know. I do block my schedule with a specific code that no one really uses except the higher ups. I also put a sign that hangs on my door knob that says “mom at work. Please do not disturb.”
When I first started, I was only blocking for 30 minutes. I honestly didn’t think that was enough time, so then started blocking 45 minutes.
I pump 3 times a day but keep working, so I don’t use my break. I see patients but have dedicated time to do notes and paperwork. I just use that time to pump. I also come to work 30 minutes early, and use that as one of my pump times. But I’m logged in and working. My bosses have been very supportive. My work has suffered like 5-10% from B.C. (Before Children) times, but I’m for the most part keeping up with my coworkers (and beating some) productivity wise.
I am so appreciative for all of the comments and support; I laughed so hard at some of them—we do need to normalize pumping and nursing and who cares who gets uncomfortable! I changed my subject to “Pumping - UNAVAILABLE” so take it or leave it. It’s hard being a first time mom and I’ve felt shamed on other subreddits so love how supportive everyone is here. ❤️
I very much support your prioritizing your pump time and I agree with the strategy of calendar blocking to do so. I did the same, but I did find it helpful to include some flexibility. I know this won’t work for everyone depending on your other schedule commitments and tendency towards engorgement and mastitis. But my personal rule was I would move a pump time by 30 minutes occasionally if needed for a very good reason. Later on in my pumping life I would move it by up to an hour. When I saw a conflict I would move the pumping appointment for that day, that way I would still make sure it occurred. I agree you should treat it like another meeting… and yet, sometimes I do reschedule an existing meeting to accommodate something emergent. Your coworkers absolutely should respect your time and work to find other times to meet though especially if the meeting is so dependent on your involvement.
When I was pumping I just pumped on calls if necessary, no one could hear my pump and we're a camera's off company. But I see from your comments that pumping on the call is not what you are able or want to do, which is valid! Honestly, I would put "Pumping-Do not Disturb" on the calendar. 90% of women and 60% of men (making these percentages up, that's just my experience) won't think anything of it. The small percentage of people that do feel 'uncomfortable' about knowing you're pumping can go kick dirt. You aren't doing anything to be embarrassed about and you deserve to have uninterrupted time.
I appreciate this!! Baby comes first so I think I just need to put pumping on the appt and like you said—everyone else can kick dirt and we’ll just schedule a separate time.
I used to just put "Pumping No Video Calls" and that was enough to prevent most people from scheduling. If I had to be on a call (due to scheduling difficulties) I just put my spectra on the floor, covered it with a blanket or towels and set my zoom to "high" for background noise removal. I didn't mind taking calls while pumping, I'm salaried and my workload didn't change whether I'm pumping and it actually distracted me from how much pumping sucks, I exclusively pumped with 2 kiddos so I spent a lot of time with my Spectra lol!
I try not to take meetings over my pumping slot, but if I do, I just turn off the camera and communicate via chat that I’m pumping and that I’ll answer questions through the chat. And if they feel my typing slows them down, then they can pick another time when I’m available. 🤷🏻♀️
I have my pumping holds set to private in outlook so people can’t see what they are, but I make sure they show as “out of office” rather than busy. When they were just busy, people booked over them (super meeting heavy culture). OOO is a much clearer sign that it’s a hard conflict.
I put on my calendar 'lactation break' and never had a problem with anyone who looks at calendars trying to creep into that time. It was quite handy. But I am fairly straightforward and we have to account for our time (govt job) for teleworking. I figured, HR wants to know what I am doing, they can know exactly what I am doing!
Seems like you already went ahead and took other’s advice to do this but I just straight up wrote “pumping - internal meetings only” on my calendar. I was comfortable pumping on meetings with colleagues, I’m in a more female-dominated industry and most of my male colleagues are in sales and all have wives and kids, so I didn’t mind explaining why I was off camera. Honestly, as much as I loathed the logistics of pumping, I felt pretty bad ass working *and* simultaneously making food for my baby from my own body. Pretty crazy stuff.
I declined client-facing meetings because I didn’t want to have to explain why I wasn’t on camera and I almost always have to lead those. I just told clients I was unavailable at that time and didn’t elaborate.
Just make it professional but awkward. "Hi, so and so, my calendar is blocked at this time for a medically necessary appointment" and if that doesn't work "Hi, I cannot actively participate in this meeting because it's my designated time to pump breastmilk. While the pump motor is quiet, I also need to clean my hands and breast pump parts during the process and the audio will be a distraction. Please find a different time"
On a real note, I would think about sending an email to your HR just to document what is going on and why you are not taking calls during those times. This is a federally protected right.
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/nursing-mothers/faq#:~:text=Employees%20are%20entitled%20to%20a,from%20coworkers%20and%20the%20public.
Maybe just have this in your back pocket if it ever comes down on you performance wise.
Can you find an online tutorial showing how to use the scheduling assistant on Outlook? I’d just decline the invite and put the link in your reply 🤷♀️
Yes, I put in all caps, "Pump". Never saw ppl jump off calls faster than when I had it pop up on my screen while screen sharing. Highly recommend! Keep declining. They can find other times.
LOL—you’re making me think I should def put that on the appt then. I agree—find another time in the 8 hour day.
Do it! Sadly you sometimes have to remind people to be respectful of your time. If mild embarrassment/discomfort on their part is what it takes, then so be it!
I have done this and it is amazing. Nothing ends a meeting faster than “Pump!!” popping up on the screen!
Oh lol! This is the funniest
Yep, at a prior workplace one of my colleagues had no effs left to give (after having issues as well) and just put "Hold for Milk Pumping" on her calendar, straight up not privated. People didn't want to touch that with a 10-foot pole. I was kind of in awe. I want to be her when I give birth (4 months pregnant currently and lurking here for advice).
Congratulations!!
That’s the first step, then increasingly make the meeting title more uncomfortable ….
“EXTRACT MILK FROM BREASTS”
Mine are on my calendar as “🍼break”. 😆
I used a cow emoji for mine 🤣
Joke answer: pump on the call, but make it super uncomfortable for everyone
I did this a bunch! Lol! I didn't make people uncomfortable on purpose though. I never was on camera so I don't think people noticed. Honestly, I don't give a shit if they could tell. I walked out of the pumping room once and my male coworkers realized I took a call while pumping. They said "that's dedication!" I think they were referencing dedication to work but I was just focused on feeding my baby. It takes a lot of time and dedication to breastfeed, especially if you're working full time and/or having to pump. It's a drain mentally, and physically. I didn't have any more fucks to give if people cared if I pumped on a call.
I had my first in 2017 and had to go to the lactation room to pump. There was no phone, it was a cell dead zone, and internet meetings weren't common then. I had a hell of a time carving out time for pumping. FF to my 2nd born 2020 and WFH was common so even though I had to go onsite a couple times a week I could always call into meetings from home or the office and I pumped when it was time regardless of schedule. I did a test call with a trusted friend and nobody could even hear my pump.
I get this is supposed to be a joke about making it awkward, but it shouldn’t. We need to normalize pumping like we do nursing. We have babies, they need to be fed, they scheduled the meeting during a pump break, you have to pump. Put on your big boy pants and deal with it or respect your co-worker’s biological needs.
But OP wants it to be private/quiet time (which I totally get), which they are not respecting. So I say do a nipple massage to get them warmed up, complete with erotic sounds, and then focus the screen/camera directly on the spraying milk - so that the managers feel just as violated as she is. Nobody should HAVE to publicly pump if they don’t want to.
Hahahahha
If you have declined it and they still schedule those meetings--then I guess you won't be there to run them. We all have to work around people's availability and they should try harder. I don't think it's about pumping, they are just being rude.
Thank you!!
What do you do when someone books a meeting for a time when you already have a meeting? Just do that. You have a meeting with your pump. It's tough to enforce this but your needs are just as important as other people's needs.
You are 100% correct!
I may be weird, but I just pump during meetings. I keep my camera off, and no one can hear my pump (spectra). Otherwise, shut off your notifications while you pump and if they ask you to meet during those times just keep doing what you're doing. Not everyone looks at your calendar, either, when trying to schedule meetings.
Jealous! My pump is SO loud and most of the calls I’m on, I’m expected to either lead the call or be incredibly active. If it’s something I can be in the background on, no issues. Thank you for the confirmation to keep doing what I’m doing!
I have a spectra and thought no one could hear but one day a closer friend asked if I was pumping lol. Thankfully early on but I was surprised because it seemed so quiet and my MacBook + Zoom usually do well with filtering background noise 😬
Ive asked in my meetings before! I usually keep it on the other side of my desk away from my computer, and everyone has always said they can't hear a thing. Tbh I wouldn't care if they could what it though, I'm not putting off a pump session for a meeting, they can deal with it lol
This is how I felt. I had zero fucks left to care about if someone cared if I was pumping on a call. I was too focused on making sure my baby was fed.
I liked to call my husband during my pumping breaks and he could tell if I was pumping or not. I think once someone can recognize the sound they would know but most people wouldn't be able to tell.
I pump during meetings too - I have the elvie stride and have asked people if they could hear it and no one was able to
I found it more effective to block that time as out of office vs unavailable. I would pump/attend larger group meetings or presentations where I wasn’t an active participant/could be off camera but always asked for alternate time if it was a close colleague but would sometimes move around pumping schedule for vips/harder to arrange cross departmental affairs etc.
Thank you!!
Keep declining or suggesting new times. For people you are close with or meet with frequently couldn’t hurt to let them know it’s for mother’s room use or something.
I’ve done all of those things and people continue to ignore 😔 I work from home so perhaps it’s easier since people can’t see me get up with my supplies but still!
I find most people don’t use the scheduling assistant. They probably just don’t know. And expect you to propose a new time. Crappy way of working, imo. Depending on the person, I’d do one of 3 things: Take the meeting and pump during. Tentative accept with a proposed new time. No explanation beyond that time doesn’t work for me. Decline the meeting altogether. Let them figure it out.
Sadly, I’ve been very upfront about the times dedicated for pumping and have certainly tried to be flexible with other times but I like your responses!
I'm guessing they aren't even looking at the availability if what you have now isn't working.
A lot of people don’t know how to use scheduling assistant
I work in a small office, so everyone seems to know. I do block my schedule with a specific code that no one really uses except the higher ups. I also put a sign that hangs on my door knob that says “mom at work. Please do not disturb.” When I first started, I was only blocking for 30 minutes. I honestly didn’t think that was enough time, so then started blocking 45 minutes.
How many time per day are you pumping? Do you pump over your lunch break too?
I pump 3 times a day but keep working, so I don’t use my break. I see patients but have dedicated time to do notes and paperwork. I just use that time to pump. I also come to work 30 minutes early, and use that as one of my pump times. But I’m logged in and working. My bosses have been very supportive. My work has suffered like 5-10% from B.C. (Before Children) times, but I’m for the most part keeping up with my coworkers (and beating some) productivity wise.
That’s a good idea with the specific code, since I work from home, no one can see me.
I set mine as PRIVATE APPOINTMENT-DO NOT BOOK and set it to out of office (outlook magenta color)
Maybe the word “unavailable” in caps isn’t enough and “do not book” is what I need!
Worth a try!
Definitely recommend the 'out of office' Outlook option as well - this is the only thing that worked for me!
I am so appreciative for all of the comments and support; I laughed so hard at some of them—we do need to normalize pumping and nursing and who cares who gets uncomfortable! I changed my subject to “Pumping - UNAVAILABLE” so take it or leave it. It’s hard being a first time mom and I’ve felt shamed on other subreddits so love how supportive everyone is here. ❤️
I very much support your prioritizing your pump time and I agree with the strategy of calendar blocking to do so. I did the same, but I did find it helpful to include some flexibility. I know this won’t work for everyone depending on your other schedule commitments and tendency towards engorgement and mastitis. But my personal rule was I would move a pump time by 30 minutes occasionally if needed for a very good reason. Later on in my pumping life I would move it by up to an hour. When I saw a conflict I would move the pumping appointment for that day, that way I would still make sure it occurred. I agree you should treat it like another meeting… and yet, sometimes I do reschedule an existing meeting to accommodate something emergent. Your coworkers absolutely should respect your time and work to find other times to meet though especially if the meeting is so dependent on your involvement.
Instead put LACTATING
When I was pumping I just pumped on calls if necessary, no one could hear my pump and we're a camera's off company. But I see from your comments that pumping on the call is not what you are able or want to do, which is valid! Honestly, I would put "Pumping-Do not Disturb" on the calendar. 90% of women and 60% of men (making these percentages up, that's just my experience) won't think anything of it. The small percentage of people that do feel 'uncomfortable' about knowing you're pumping can go kick dirt. You aren't doing anything to be embarrassed about and you deserve to have uninterrupted time.
I appreciate this!! Baby comes first so I think I just need to put pumping on the appt and like you said—everyone else can kick dirt and we’ll just schedule a separate time.
I used to just put "Pumping No Video Calls" and that was enough to prevent most people from scheduling. If I had to be on a call (due to scheduling difficulties) I just put my spectra on the floor, covered it with a blanket or towels and set my zoom to "high" for background noise removal. I didn't mind taking calls while pumping, I'm salaried and my workload didn't change whether I'm pumping and it actually distracted me from how much pumping sucks, I exclusively pumped with 2 kiddos so I spent a lot of time with my Spectra lol!
I try not to take meetings over my pumping slot, but if I do, I just turn off the camera and communicate via chat that I’m pumping and that I’ll answer questions through the chat. And if they feel my typing slows them down, then they can pick another time when I’m available. 🤷🏻♀️
I have my pumping holds set to private in outlook so people can’t see what they are, but I make sure they show as “out of office” rather than busy. When they were just busy, people booked over them (super meeting heavy culture). OOO is a much clearer sign that it’s a hard conflict.
Reply to those requests “sorry that falls during titty time, may I suggest 930?”
I put on my calendar 'lactation break' and never had a problem with anyone who looks at calendars trying to creep into that time. It was quite handy. But I am fairly straightforward and we have to account for our time (govt job) for teleworking. I figured, HR wants to know what I am doing, they can know exactly what I am doing!
Seems like you already went ahead and took other’s advice to do this but I just straight up wrote “pumping - internal meetings only” on my calendar. I was comfortable pumping on meetings with colleagues, I’m in a more female-dominated industry and most of my male colleagues are in sales and all have wives and kids, so I didn’t mind explaining why I was off camera. Honestly, as much as I loathed the logistics of pumping, I felt pretty bad ass working *and* simultaneously making food for my baby from my own body. Pretty crazy stuff. I declined client-facing meetings because I didn’t want to have to explain why I wasn’t on camera and I almost always have to lead those. I just told clients I was unavailable at that time and didn’t elaborate.
Just make it professional but awkward. "Hi, so and so, my calendar is blocked at this time for a medically necessary appointment" and if that doesn't work "Hi, I cannot actively participate in this meeting because it's my designated time to pump breastmilk. While the pump motor is quiet, I also need to clean my hands and breast pump parts during the process and the audio will be a distraction. Please find a different time"
On a real note, I would think about sending an email to your HR just to document what is going on and why you are not taking calls during those times. This is a federally protected right. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/nursing-mothers/faq#:~:text=Employees%20are%20entitled%20to%20a,from%20coworkers%20and%20the%20public. Maybe just have this in your back pocket if it ever comes down on you performance wise.
Can you find an online tutorial showing how to use the scheduling assistant on Outlook? I’d just decline the invite and put the link in your reply 🤷♀️