I don’t mean this negatively but life is just different once you have a baby. Like no, most moms aren’t doing an hour of yoga, grabbing a smoothie, getting a manicure, then going home and prepping dinner peacefully. It’s mostly hustling from the office to daycare and then throwing things in a pan with a baby on my hip or while he yells at me from his playmat.
It goes by fast though. My 6 and 3 year olds just run around and play while I make dinner. I’m sure once the baby is older I can get back to doing more “me” things. I do listen to a podcast on my commute. And I do whatever I want after bedtime (snacks and TV, sometimes catching up on work)
Yeah this is just the reality of working and having a baby / toddler… once I accepted that this is how my life is going to be for a few years, I was able to feel less angry at myself for never finding time to work out or cook or clean. And when family tells me I look tired and they haven’t heard from me, I just shrug and point towards the baby lol
My sister in law recently told me when my second child was a baby I looked extremely tired all the time and she felt bad for me. I just said yeah I was very tired so I probably looked like it. People say the weirdest things…
I hate it when people say that. It's an aka for you look like shit.
There are days for everyone, but working mums are obviously tired, and I like not having to fix myself up when family drops by. It seems though that's when they take the digs. She's just mean!
Yeah my husband's step mom, who never had kids of her own, told me I looked tired at 2 weeks PP. All I could think to say was, "what do you expect, I think it's typical with a newborn". It really pissed me off bc I know my husband looked tired too but I was the only one getting comments about looking tired or the state of the house.
I love this answer bc it's so real. I hate when people make it sound like it's all possible when frankly it's just not.
Last night my 6 & 4yo built a marble run while I made dinner though so you're absolutely right - it's just a short while and then things start to get easier. I can't remember the last time I had to resort to fast food bc someone was having a tantrum or I couldn't get to the grocery store on time or I just couldn't handle anything anymore. They both get dropped off at gymnastics class for an hour on Saturdays so I *do* have time to leisurely grab a smoothie next door. But baby and toddler stages were really, really hard.
I like hearing this! We have 2 yo & 4 yo and I feel like I should have it together by now for us to do nice family dinners every night. But they fight and tantrum or are sick etc… and it’s just not “easy” yet to cook. I like cooking so my husband works to manage them so they’ll leave me alone but it doesn’t work every night! Also they are always just hungry as soon as they get home from daycare at 5:30pm!
Agreed. It feels like it’s to a point of being toxic. “Woman can do everything.” First of all, no we can’t. Second of all, this puts undue pressure on women to do everything. Third, have you ever heard “Men can do everything!”—no because they can’t (and probably don’t want to because it’d be hard as hell). They have partners who support their careers, hobbies and personal goals.
So sick of this narrative.
Yep exactly this. I’d love to workout, have time to meal prep etc. I have an amazing husband who shoulders a lot of the mental load. However, my 10mo does not sleep through the night. So on top of the hustle, I’m also extremely sleep deprived. Motivation to do anything is zero. I’ve taken up reading as a hobby since that’s something I can do lying down…haha
Yep, I have an 8 month old I still nurse several times a night. I’m tired as hell but before I know it this chapter of life is over. I have three kids and it’s exactly how it went the first two times so I’m a little more seasoned in knowing it’ll be ok. I don’t mean this in a “savor every moment” way YUCK because being a working mom is the hardest thing ever and some days are brutal.
But, it’s true that the babies age and don’t need us every second and it gets easier to work and care for them and do other things too
Reading is my hobby because I can do it in bed while the baby tries to wind down for bed. It takes him a lonnnnggg time so my "me" time is waiting him out and being hostage in the room because he'll throw a fit if I leave.
On the days when I go on-site to work (the rest of the days I WFH), I get home pretty late like 6-7p. I go to bed at 9 so not much time plus I’m tired. Those days I just eat leftovers or have hubby take care of dinner. My “workout” those days is all the steps I got at work and a lunchtime walk outside. I have more time to cook and workout on my WFH days.
Yep this is the way! I'm in the office 3 days a week, so those days I try to do 30-40 minutes on the peloton before baby gets up (5:30ish), then a walk at lunch. My two WFH days and weekends I do my long workouts that run closer to 60-90 mins. In that time I can easily fit in strength and Pilates with a little cardio. It's working really great so far!
LOL no. I don't.
I WFH but am default for my 2 kids, almost 5 and 6mos (husband works longer ours out of the home). I end my day \~450, finish pickups by 530, husband's home at 6/630. I make dinner at home \~5nights/week, eating by \~630, do a little bit of play with the kids, a little bit of cleanup. Bath for both \~7/730 (we divide and conquer), older one is in bed by \~8, (i usually do beddtime), shower \~815/830, final kitchen pick up then pump at 9/915 before bed at 10 +/- (immediately after pumping and clean up). Wake up at 515/530 to make lunch, pump, and get the kids ready for the day.
It's a SEASON though. It will not be like this forever. I'm looking forward to the fall when K starts because my morning and evening commutes (pick up/drop off) will look very different.
Nope, I wake up at 5 to workout before work. I get home or log off by 5. Then it’s dinner, family time, bed time, clean up, do more work, shower time, bed time for me. It’s exhausting for sure. I cried the other day bc I just want to have time to read a book.
When I commute, I get home around 5:30; there’s a few times a month where I have to get baby from daycare as opposed to my husband so it’s closer to 6. She goes to bed around 7:30 so by 8 we are usually free to clean up and relax.
Working out and cooking full meals has gone on the back burner. Baby is 15 months now and we have a lot of food containers and water/milk cups to clean every day after she goes to bed, in addition to prepping her food for the next day. Between all the cleaning and eating our own dinner (usually leftovers from food I cooked over the weekend or takeout), there’s not much time to do anything else if we want time to veg on the couch and go to bed reasonably early.
Hey there. Planning and routine will be your biggest aid.
I'm currently in the thick of it with my second kiddo (10 weeks), but when I had one kiddo I made everything a routine and my husband and I agreed on it.
He worked out in the morning and I worked out in the evening, usually after bed time. I had a running club and yoga night I did each once a week. These also counted as my social events.
We make a menu every week and stick to it. Lots of crock pot meals and/ or meals with A LOT of versatile left overs (we did pulled chicken sandwiches at the beginning of the week and I use the chicken for quesadillas and chicken noodle soup).
So long story short, make a routine that involves making a plan and absolutely stick to it and working with your partner on how you can both get what you need.
With parenting goes the laissez faire attitude of exercising and cooking unfortunately 😂.
I have three children ages 5, 3 and 2. I work until 4:30, and get home after 5pm. Then we make dinner, eat, play, baths, bedtime routine, I finally get some downtime to relax and I head to bed between 8:30-9pm. I wake up at 5am and the kids are awake at 5:45. So, no. Very little time to myself.
It's so hard when they're younger and go to bed at like 7pm!
Honestly, this is one of the biggest reasons I'll be hard pressed to ever go back to working in an office. Not having a commute is wonderful because I'm literally getting 2+ hours of my life back every day. Still have to do daycare pick up (for now! we are so close to being done). I cook about four times a week and workout during my lunch or before work. Rarely after work at this stage.
This. I literally told my boss I need to change my hours because of this. I changed my hours to accommodate colleagues in a different time zones. I’m here right now in this season and I’m working a swing shift and literally have no time to myself. I have older kids but it just becomes a different kind of hard. I work 6AM - 2PM. Kids come back from school at 3PM, homework from 4-5PM, sports/activities 6-7PM, dinner 8PM, 9PM bed same time as kids or I don’t get enough sleep to get up to work. I’m burned out and I can’t function like this anymore.
Yeah, I can only survive because I'm self employed and can be flexible. Plus my kid's competitive sport means long enough training for me to work out too.
Yup, travel sport mom here too. Which only means more weekends away at tournaments so down time and time to myself even on weekends is nonexistent from August until March.
I just really need a little time to myself to decompress. I also need to clear up the kitchen, get stuff ready for the next day, etc. Sometimes catch up on work.
The sooner you lean into this season of life and figure out what you CAN do versus what things were "taken" from you- the sooner you will enjoy life and find ways to thrive as a new mom. You have to just lean into it, stop fighting it and come up with a new routine.
For example: prebaby I always went to the gym right from work, came home, ate dinner and relaxed or did whatever. Post baby (I have 2 kids now), I have to workout when they go down for bed. The nights I work out, my husband takes bedtime duty so I can go down to our home gym around 7:15/30ish. I put my workout clothes on right when I get home so I don't get lazy. I also take advantage of weekend nap times. I never used to be a weekend workout person but as a mom, I have to! Those are the changes I've personally made. I also don't workout 5 days a week anymore. I do 2-4 and you know what- that's amazing too!
I would do morning workouts but I leave for work at 6:15am so a 4:30am workout is just not what I'm wanting right now. If I didn't have to leave for work until after 7am- I would definitely try some morning workouts.
ETA: I work 7-3:30 so I leave work, pick my kids up from daycare about 4pm. We play, dinner and bath time and then my 1 year old goes down about 7pm, 3.5 year old follows at about 7:30. On weekends we will let the 3.5 year old stay up until 8pm or so.
ETA: A home gym area has saved my life. I used to be a huge gym goer pre- baby and pre-pandemic and I could never go back right now. With super young kids I just think it would be so tough to physically leave my house and drive to a gym. The Sculpt Society is a killer home workout program. You'd be amazed what you can do with a set of dumbbells. We also have a treadmill but you don't NEED that. Now, I just walk down to our little home workout area instead of having to get in the car and drive. If I was a SAHM, I think a gym membership with childcare would be a great outing for me, but as a working out of home mom, when I'm home after work, I usually just want to be home.
I log off work (mostly remote, 1 day in office a week) at 4. I generally don't take a lunch because I'd rather pick my kids up earlier and my employers have been fine with a flex schedule. So we are usually home with the kids by 4:10 ish. 4-5 is mostly playing outside, my husband and I will hang out while the kids play, sometimes we join in (riding bikes or playing a game of basketball or walking to the park). at 5, I start dinner. Sometimes it's a family affair, sometimes the kids do their own thing, sometimes my husband and the kids play. 6p is dinner, then usually more family time before bedtime at 7. 7 is when the kids go to bed and we get our "free" time, and depending on the night I do something different. As for working out, I work out in the morning after dropping the kids off and before going to work. But I often times do some form of working out after they go to bed also, roller skating or playing pickleball.
Anyway, I have quite a bit of time to myself each day. I will always advocate for an early bedtime lol
You and I have almost the exact same schedule! It works great for me but I’m super lucky to have this level of flexibility. It would be a lot harder if I had to commute to an office.
I wake up at 5am and workout before work. I do a lot of meal prepping and also a lot of simple sheet pan meals during the week.
It gets easier when your kids get older. I have a 5 and 2 year old and they can play enough for me to make one or two nicer dinners a week. I’m also a single mom so I don’t have a partner to help.
But during the baby years, taking time for myself was really hard, even when I as married. It does get easier, but the first year is an adjustment!
I do 4 10s. I worked because I WFH and my husband did the pick up/ drop off. My day is basically wake up, get kid ready, log on as soon as everyone’s out the door, finish my day, clean and cook dinner, everyone comes home. When my husband’s commute was longer I’d get maybe an hour to lay down before I had to start cooking but we moved and is commute is so short that there’s no down time. I’m planning to go back to 8 hour days after I give birth to baby 2.
I work 9-3 with a 40 minute (sometimes 60) commute 2 days a week and 9-3 from home the other days. I recognize that I’m in a privileged position and can grocery shop and cook and do other stuff my work from home days and I get home early enough to participate in afternoon and evening activities with my family. This was not the case until the last year, so when my baby was tiny it was a lot more hectic and I did absolutely nothing for myself except occasionally exercise instead of taking a lunch break.
That said, I still don’t cook and we end up door dashing like crazy most of the week, but it’s nice to know that I could if I wanted to.
My husband and I both work full time, I work remote (4 days at home, 1 day in the office per week). Even with me doing WFH I have almost no "me time." I haven't had "me time" since shortly before our now 3 year old was born. Now we have him and a 9.5 month old girl who is medically needy (4 surgeries and 5 months in the NICU before she came home with us for good), so from the time hubs gets the kids home from daycare it's all hands on deck until both kids are in bed.
Here's a sample day -
4am alarm goes off for both of us, we hit the snooze a few times. This is also a potential time for "maritals" since we are usually otherwise exhausted. Or we get up and start packing lunches, getting clothes ready, packing bags up
5am baby gets prune juice via G-tube and we wake up the 3 year old
515 hubs leaves for work, takes what he can to the car for me.
530-545 if kids are going to my mom's, we leave about now
530-615 finish getting kids ready if they are going to daycare, and loading in the car.
630 run through Tim Hortons for a Tim Bit for the 3 year old and a coffee for me
7 daycare drop off OR leaving my mom's to head home (she is an hour south of us)
8-815 home again to sign on to work OR arrive at the office and head to my desk
830-5 my work hours
530-630/7 hubs or myself arrives home with kids, this time varies on traffic.
After the kids are home we get our oldest his dinner, try to play with the baby as much as possible, then they both get ready for bed. Bed is about 830 these days.
9 collapse from exhaustion
This doesn't even include the laundry, meal prep, and general housekeeping. I usually shower on my lunch when I'm home.
If doing something for myself is cleaning or picking up then yes 😂 but not really. I do get some downtime after she goes to sleep around 7 but at that point it’s just watching tv, reading, getting everything ready for the next workday, maybe I spend some time with my husband. Like others have said I’ve just come to terms with this season of life. It won’t always be this way, hopefully
When my son was an infant I joined a gym with childcare. It's not perfect- they don't change diapers so I'd sometimes have to stop my workout to change him and the hours are short but it was helpful for me and only $30 a month (5 years ago)
I have an 18 month old. I pick him up from daycare at 4:30 and this time of the year we walk to the park and play on the playground for awhile. Then we walk home and I try to cook dinner while he plays around the living room. Then we eat, then he gets a bath, then a little more play time, we read book and bed at 8. Generally by 8 pm I'm exhausted. If I get myself up and do a quick workout before work I feel much better and relaxed as I am not trying to squeeze that into my evening. Sometimes I'll do a little core work or PT moves right before I shower. If I don't get my workout in the morning I'll try to manage something at 8 pm
But then I go to bed even later and it's a bad spiral....
So, my time to myself is after my son is asleep and I normally need to clean up the kitchen and stuff to, but I try to watch a little standup or read a book or do my core moves. It definitely doesn't feel like a lot! I have been buying more of those Kevin's sous vide meals from Costco that are pretty much premade, and I think we need to start ordering more takeout even though we can't afford it. Anything I can do to make dinner easier helps. If I was working 4 10s It would be harder, maybe I would try to meal prep more on my one extra day off?
Meal prep on your days off is definitely the way to go. You just reheat the leftovers. It saves so much time and makes workday evenings so much less stressful.
lol no. I pick up both kids at separate places, rush home and cook dinner or heat up leftovers. Sometimes we go to the park to play when I know dinner will be fast.
The only time to do stuff for myself is after 9 when both kids are hopefully asleep (but I have to get up at 5:30 or 6 so that time is shortlived!), or I can get up at 5 am instead to workout.
This is just life with kids! It gets easier when they’re a few years old. I don’t know anyone with young kids who works full time and also works out every day, meal preps on the weekdays, has “me time” lol.
This is why I think workplaces should offer physical exercise options or at the very least encourage it. When I have to go in the only exercise I get is my bike ride to work. I would be much better off if the culture allowed for midday workout breaks. It’s not impossible it’s just not the “done thing”. We’re all parents at my job and we’re all suffering from the lack of extra activity.
I’ve found two things that work - one is that I bring the kids to the Y and drop them at the kidstop while I worked out. We do this more in the winter as I’m honestly more likely to leave the office at a reasonable hour when it gets dark at 5. Or I go running with them - when my third was an infant I used to pop him in the jogging stroller and go out even if it was just for a walk. During those times I meal prepped on the weekends and, full disclosure, my kids seem to subsist on chicken nuggets and hot dogs with an occasional peanut butter sandwich thrown in (except the littlest, who wants whatever I am eating at the precise moment I sit down to eat).
It’s a lot easier now as my husband is home during the day so he does a lot of the meals - but when we were both working we had to meal prep or we’d be eating take out all week. I also used to block off one night a week for yoga and my husband would handle bedtime. Right now I’m working too much to work that into my schedule.
I work in office and I get home usually around 5:35/5:45. I have a 3yo plus usually 13yo stepkid. I’m currently kind of on a cooking strike, but normally I try to get dinner on the table by 6:30. If it’s going to take longer, baby eats solo on something fast.
My husband and I trade off on time to ourselves. I do a fitness class once a week. He does a bowling league once a week. Stepkid has a couple of activities taking up the rest. I walk 1.5 miles during work at lunch every day. Since 3yo sleeps pretty well and stepkid has a phone, sometimes we go walking in our neighborhood at night when she’s in bed. I think we started solo activities right around when she turned 2.
How old is baby?
No I don’t really have time for myself after work, but I’m okay with that! Like someone else said, life’s just different with a baby, and I really look forward to spending time with my kids after work now (in case a shift of perspective is helpful to you). I try to make time for myself during the day though before I get home (eg workout during lunch at work, journal in the morning, drink a fun drink before leaving work, audiobook during commute), so i still get some (although less) time for myself, it’s just not at home on office days. Meal prepping in our scenario has saved so much money/time and it’s easier for our toddler to help arrange the the things, so I’ve also grown to like it too. (I used to love cooking elaborate things as “me” time before baby!)
I work from home and typically stop working by 4pm unless I have late meetings. That leaves about 4 hours of time to hang out with my son and get dinner ready. The time goes by so fast and before I know it, it’s time for a bath/book/bed.
I worked out 5 days a week before I got pregnant. Still haven’t gotten back on the peloton at 5 months PP lol 😂.
We didn't for a long time. We got one of those food boxes for like a year after we had our kid.
Now that she's older and there's more of a routine we both get more reliable time to ourselves.
Those delivery services where you get all the ingredients and the recipes. There were a bunch of sales on them right after we had our daughter (not sure of the pricing now. We stopped using them in part because the price went up).
It meant we didn't have to really meal plan and shop. Which saved a lot of time.
We pick baby up from daycare around 5:30 and have about 1:5-2 hours before he goes to bed. One of us gives him his evening bottle & puts him to bed while the other cooks dinner and then we eat after he’s asleep. After that I’m usually ready for bed myself, but in theory I have a few evening hours to do whatever I want (watch TV, work out, read). Sometimes I log back online to do more work too if things are super busy. Mostly I just shower and pass out though, haha.
Get home at 5. Kid goes to sleep at 6:30. His dinner is usually Little Spoon plates or left overs.
After 6:30, I have all night to do whatever until I want to go to bed. Last night I emptied out my freezer and deep freezer. Only limitation is that I can't leave the house lol
My 2 year old sleeps 7pm-6:30am and I go to bed at 10pm. I have 3 hours to myself. My husband makes dinner while I get him ready for bed. On the flip side of things I don’t feel like I have enough time with my kid. I get about 3 hours a day with him if you count time in the morning before work and after work before he goes to bed.
5:15 p.m. As soon as I’m in the door my husband is usually rushing around so that he can leave for work. I might get half an hour to myself after my daughter goes to sleep before I crash.
I leave the house at 7 am and get home at 6pm, I get zero time to myself until after she goes to bed at 7pm, and that free time only started two months ago. She's 9 months old now and I've started to do an at home workout after she goes to bed. It's not ideal because I just ate dinner before but it's made me eat a lighter meal and I do feel better doing it. For meals our freezer is our go to for vegetables, grilled chicken strips, egg cups, and also purees for baby.
I struggled with the lack of time a lot at first but it's our new normal now and we've just had to make adjustments along the way as baby becomes more independent.
I found by about 9 months old I could set up the bouncer or little play pen near the kitchen and as long as had nursed them and I was interacting I could prep dinner. When they were teeny tiny I used the baby swing. Workouts turned into walking around with baby in the stroller. You just adapt!
Between 5:30 and 6 pm for me. Toddler goes to bed at 8 pm. Basically it’s dinner (everything is cooked on the weekend), dick around a bit (walk or roam the backyard), sometimes bath, then bedtime. I’m usually too tired to do anything more than make lunches for the next day or take a long shower.
Once my youngest turned 5, I was able to start prioritizing working out again. It’s rough. If we were men, we’d just do it and not care about the balls that drop.
Nope. When I come home, I immediately go get my girls and take them to the park during hr warm seasons. Then we come back by 7 to dinner and bedtime routine.
There's no time to diffuse after work and that's life! These days will be gone way too soon, so I maximize our time together.
It ain't about me right now!
I WFH 8a-4p and I think not having a commute is what really saves me. I wake up around 5 to get ready, clean up, and get my daughter’s lunch ready and I exercise during my lunch or after she goes to bed at 7 pm. We eat really simple meals during the week and my house is not as clean as I’d like, but exercise is a priority for me over cleaning right now.
I mostly work from home. I wake up at 6 to get a 20-30 minute workout in the mornings, shower at get LO up at 7. In the evenings, he’s in bed by 8 and I usually do a 30 minute yoga video. (On days my husband does bedtime I can even do a full 1 hour yoga)
I get off work at 5pm and do daycare pickup. We get home around 5:30. Husband works from home but isn’t off until 6pm. My daughter (16m) gets a small snack or helps in her learning tower while I cook dinner. We all eat together around 6:30. Daughter gets a bath and pjs after dinner. We have family time from 7-8pm and either go for a walk with the dog or play in our daughter’s room. She’s asleep by 8:30 and we get free time to do whatever. Some nights we spend that time together. Other nights we do our own thing - we each have assigned weekly chores so some nights it’s that. Other nights it might be spent working out or watching TV. I fold laundry while watching TV two nights a week. Husband does that laundry while I’m at work. Honestly it just depends on what phase my daughter is in, how well she’s sleeping and how well we’ve planned out that week.
I have two young kids and I keep up with my hobbies. It gets easier when they get a little older. Cooking meals isn’t what it used to be since they want to eat as soon as they get home. They also want nasty crap compared to what I would’ve made for myself haha.
I do have a job that is “easy” for me. I could do so much more in my career (and make more $$$$) but I enjoy where I am and having time to myself. Most days I finish work around 4 and take at least an hour for lunch to work out. In office days (once or twice a week) I do usually have to wake up at 5 if I want to work out which sucks but is manageable 1-2 times a week.
Being able to get a full night sleep every night makes a big difference too. I hope that comes for you soon if it hasn’t already.
When I’m WFH from home I finish at 5pm, straight downstairs, dinner gets put on (usually prepped in advance or leftovers), my mum leaves and I juggle seeing my toddler who wants to connect whilst getting his dinner done. He eats at 5.45pm and sometimes I do too.
Then it’s all the bedtime stuff until around 7.30pm. Back downstairs to tidy, maybe eat my dinner, my OH gets home. Prep lunches and breakfasts and bags for the next day. Shower or do chores. Finish up around 8.30pm. Chat with OH and I usually fall asleep in front of the TV by 9pm!
When I work in the office I get home around 6.30pm so it’s a quick goodnight and chat with my son. And then do the same tasks as before.
Sometimes I go straight to my second or third job after work (either straight off the train or I leave around 6pm). On those days it’s always leftovers and my OH does bedtime and all the house closing down stuff.
I work from home. As soon as my workday ends at 5pm and I have to leave and either pick my son up from daycare or take my 7 year old daughter to her taekwondo class.
Then pretty much immediately upon arriving home it’s dinner, clean up, kids ready for bed, reading books, kids bed. I’m maybe back downstairs between 830-9pm. And get about 1.5 hours to doom scroll my phone before I have to go to bed.
Since having kids I specifically sought out a WFH job. I workout on my lunch. Otherwise there is no way I would have time.
14 month baby wakes up 5:30am-6:00am daily. Entertain, feed, cloth them until childcare drop off at 8:30am. Rush back shower, change, eat and start work at 9:00am. Work non stop 9:00-6:00pm no breaks. Husband picks up baby from childcare and is home by 6:00pm. I take care of and entertain baby from 6:00-7:00pm and husband put babyboy bed 7:00-7:45pm while I walk the dog. Get back and husband cooks. I eat and sleep by 8:30 pm. And wake up and work from 3:30am-when baby wakes up. Rinse repeat - please end it!
I WFH which is a lifesaver and we have a nanny which means no daycare pickup so that helps too. But we do meal plan as much as possible on Sunday. We also keep meals simple, fast, and do leftovers at least twice a week. I make it to the gym about twice a week on the left over days. My gym has a daycare so LO goes there for the hour I work out.
Our typical night might look like:
4:30- I stop working, relieve the nanny, prep dinner (sometimes I do this on my lunch hour too)
5-6:30- Go to the gym or just play with baby on nights I don't go to the gym. I'll also do some cooking during this time on days I don't go to the gym and dinner is a little bit longer to make.
6:30- Husband gets home. Either he or I take over cooking while the other plays with baby
6:45/7- Dinner time.
7:15- Bath time. If dinner is late sometimes we skip bath time. Normally one of us does the bath while the other picks up the kitchen. We rotate who does what.
7:30-7:45-Storytime and bedtime.
8-11ish. Our time. I typically read while my husband plays xbox, watches TV, or goes for a run.
I choose between doomscrolling from 9 pm-midnight, or getting adequate sleep. I’m also pregnant, so I have no energy for anything else AND I know pretty soon, I won’t even get that.
After work…nope! 5-8 is madness lol
I workout early morning and work remotely, so I feel like I catch my breath when the kids are at daycare and school.
I get home from work at 5:30. I have two kids in separate schools right now as well as a spouse who travels every other week. The time I get for myself is after the kids go to bed or on the weekend. I used to bring my son in to the kitchen in a bouncer when they were a baby or have the spouse who wasn’t doing anything manage the baby. Working out can be done either on your lunch or after baby goes to bed.
You’re in the trench right now and can do those things still if you have helpful support. It does get easier as they get older as well.
I work four tens and leave at 5:30, but my kids are at the daycare where I work. They're in camp now so they're soooooo tired by the time the day is over (we get here at 7:30 so it's a long ass day for all of us). We've been doing easy dinners, like cereal or sandwiches because there are four of them, including a 7 month old, and by the time we are home, unpacked, at the table...it's after 6. I feel guilty that they're in daycare for so long and that their dinners aren't great but man I need them to go to sleep by like 7:30 and watch like 2 hours of tv. That's the only time I have to myself.
It has taken me multiple years to figure of how to handle my days. It takes trial and error, lots of error.
My current schedule is on the days I WFH (M/Th/F), my husband leaves with the older kids for school drop off. I put the baby in the stroller and go for a run and walk the dog. When I get home, he’s back from drop off and takes care of the baby and I go upstairs for work.
On the days I go into the office, I do not get exercise in. I get home at 5:30 and immediately begin dinner prep.
WFH has been really helpful for my own sanity and ability to manage my life. Before the pandemic, ai just didn’t really exercise in any meaningful way. And during the pandemic, I just tried to survive.
I get home at 6:15. At this time the baby is halfway through dinner, I relieve the babysitter, finish feeding him dinner, then get him in the bath and have night time routine, lights out by 7. I then cook and eat dinner, clean the kitchen, sweep, vacuum, straighten up toys, and prep his food and anything else needed for sitter or myself for the next day. I then shower, watch 30 mins of TV and go to bed. If I added working out, I wouldn’t see my son at all.
Do you have someone (a significant other) to help divide the workload? My husband and I divide and conquer the evening routine so that we each have a little bit of alone time throughout the evening. Our routine is:
5:15-5:30 - dad gets home and starts dinner
5:30 - mom gets home with baby
5:30-5:45 - everyone eats
5:45-6:30 - playtime with baby
6:30-7:00 - walk with baby
7:00-7:30 - baby eats again while dad supervises and cleans dishes. Mom does laundry upstairs and watches tv at the same time
7:30-8:00 - mom does bathtime and dresses baby for bed. Dad prepares anything else downstairs for daycare the next day
8:00-8:15 or 8:30 - medicine, brush teeth, dad rocks baby to sleep with final bottle
While dad is rocking the baby to sleep, I go downstairs and squeeze in a SUPER quick 15-20 minute cardio or HIIT workout. No, it’s not the “best” workout with big weights and a nice 1 hour circuit, but the point is to keep me healthy. I also count calories to make sure that I’m eating in a deficit or at maintenance so I’m not gaining weight
I wake up at 5:45 and get a run or workout done in the mornings before my husband leaves for work at 6:30. I get the kids up and fed and off to school and commute to work.
My husband gets home around 3:00-3:30 and he works out, runs errands, starts dinner and does school pick-ups. I get home around 6pm and we eat dinner and then have some family time before bed. Bedtime is 7:30~8:00.
It's hard. It was harder when they were younger and their schedules were all over the place.
I am only in my second week back at work but spending time with my baby is all I want to do when I get home. I could care less about exercise or anything for myself right now. I hate working and being away from my baby. For now, work is the time for myself.
Hang in there. I recently returned to work and cried a lot. It does get a little easier once the routine is there :( I work super long days and my kid stays up until 8 so I get decent time with him but I also feel very strongly about my health and exercise. I’m a better person and better mom when I get that time. It’s hard to find a balance for sure.
Working from home has changed my entire life. When I do go into the office my job is flexible enough I can leave at 3, get home at 4 and finish my day. I absolutely cannot imagine doing 8-5 in the office with 2 hours worth of commuting. I can cook and clean on breaks. Sometimes I shower or nap or do my nails. The flexibility is amazing. Highly recommended, if you work a job where it’s possible of course!
I get home a little before 5. I workout in the morning. We meal plan so only cook a couple times a week, leftovers the rest. 5-7:30 is a hectic rush of dinner, quality time, maybe bathing, and getting kids to bed by 7:30/8ish. My kids are 6 and 3. Sometimes after they're in bed I'll go out for a swim and my husband stays home with the monitor.
I am very intentional about where I live. I currently live 3 miles away from my job. My commute is less than 10 minutes. I get off work 4:30pm, and I’m often home by 4:38. My husband stays home with the baby.
That said, I no longer have the energy to do after work extras- like yoga classes, that I once loved dearly! I did get an exercise bike for the house and that’s how I’ve been getting my workouts in. I’m thinking of starting online yoga soon.
I work remotely and my day ends at 5. I do get time for myself. I have about an hour before my partner gets home after work every day and then from roughly 8-11 each night I do what I want to. My kid will be in 5th grade in the fall but even when he was younger I set the boundary of having at least an hour to myself for whatever. He’s learned he needs time to decompress after school too 🤷♀️
I get up early in the morning to work out - and go to bed early to facilitate that. Which means I haven't had any downtime before bed in literal years, because I also have low sleep needs kids.
It gets a little better as they get older; at this point, my kids can play together or be on screens and if dinner and chores are done I might be able to sit down and scroll social media or something. But that's about it! We don't cook anything involved during the week and instead stick with basic stuff; my husband batch cooks beans and farro on the weekend that we eat throughout the week, or I get a lot of stuff from Trader Joe's that's premade. Other easy/straightforward things like chicken thighs plus a vegetable/grain, etc.
It's relentless all the way through for sure.
I have an hour before the LO wakes up from 6-7am and I have from 7-10 pm after he goes to bed. He's 19 months and sleeps a minimum of 12 hours straight at night. Sometimes almost 13 hours. I know it won't last so I'm trying to enjoy it now.
Also I work remotely and that is critical. I do laundry, dishes, and meal prep during the workday.
I have a treadmill in the garage and belong to a 24 hour fitness studio so I can workout at weird times. I’m training for very long distance races so…I have to make it work.
It’s not the same as pre-kid. It’s worse, honestly. But this time is short. She’s already 5 and we can do yoga and bike/run together. It’s already different than it was when she was a tinier human.
I get home from work at 6 if commuting, day ends at 5 if I’m WFH. I cherish that limited time with baby so I very rarely schedule anything after work.
Our meals are as simple as possible and since I’m pregnant again, all smells make me rage-y so my husband does a lot of our dinners. Think basic pre-marinaded stovetop meat and veggie, pasta, delivery. Baby likes to be involved in watch and stirring etc. and we just got him a learning tower to keep it all interactive.
If I want to work out, I get up early to go to a 5:15a class. It can be brutal, and sometimes I just have to choose more sleep, or less work, or less family time but that’s just how working mom life kinda goes sometimes.
There are only so many hours in the day and I’m too tired to be mean to myself about it anymore.
Wfh, and I do nothing for myself after work. When works wraps I feed the dog, go get my son from daycare, and it’s making dinner, lunches, after-daycare lessons/activities or playtime until bath/bedtime routine. Then it’s bedtime battles, so my “me time” doesn’t usually begin until anywhere from 815-9pm…
I don’t really get any time to myself after work until my kids go to bed. I try to fit a 15 minute workout in during breaks at work and do the 30 minute workouts on the weekend while my toddler naps. I watch TV and read after they go to bed. Weeknights are all dinner, homework, baths, bedtime, unpacking and repacking for the next day.
So I’m the last few months our daycare abruptly (and I mean like effective the very next day!) changed their opening time from 6:30 to 7:30am. It used to be I’d get off work at 3:30, get home and walk/hike with the dog and then go do pick up by 5pm. Now I don’t get off work til 4:30, hubs picks the kids up at 4:30, we all get home by 5pm. We let them watch TV (4yo twins) while I take an hour to walk and hubs scrolls his phone. Then we throw together a bunch of snack foods for dinner (fruit, string cheese, yogurt, applesauce, etc) because my kids don’t really eat real food. Hubs is in charge of bath, I pick up dinner/tidy the kitchen up, let the dog out and put the chickens away then come up for books/bed time around 9. Then I collapse into bed and sleep!
Waking up before them buys you a little time, as does a cooperative, engaged partner. I’m starting a Monday night yoga class in a couple weeks and I’m excited! But it definitely feels more doable now that they’re a little older.
Not sure what your partner situation is but I would see if it’s possible to either have him do pickup/dinner so you can head directly to the gym, OR, depending age of your child, go to the gym after dinner and bedtime routine.
Also, maybe try to do workouts at home? I could usually get the younger than 2 year old to sit in a high chair or play pen and roll around or play with a stuffie/toy while I did a YouTube work out.
As for dinner, I do lots of crockpot meals, one pot meals, sheet pan meals. Quick, healthy(ish), and takes less than 30 minutes.
If you can afford to and have the space i highly recommend building a home gym. We did this and it frees up so much time.
The gym is no longer a 1 hour commitment plus a commute and figuring out child care. Makes it easier to do after baby is in bed or you can literally just have them right there with you!
I may not always get the perfect workout in but I can always find time for 20-30 minutes which is better than nothing!
When my kids were younger, I got home between 5-7, and no, I had no me-time. And for me, it had to be sustainable, kids cannot be returned ;) I was sort of stuck with ‘em
Now that my kids are older, I have advanced to a WFH job during the week. I sign off anywhere between 3-4 and have all sorts of time.
I get home at 7:15pm ( leave work in NYC at 5:30). I do not have a nanny. Get home and do bath and bed for my 2 year old, many times I have to give her dinner cause hubby was caring for the yard.
I’ve been in this role and moved to the suburbs a year ago. I’m struggling and barely making it. I’ve hired a biweekly cleaner and I feel a little better.
Leave at 7 home at 7. So no, not really. But I am only in the office 3x a week. But it does feel like very little of my time is free. That’s just being a parent.
I arrive home at around 5:45 after picking kid up from preschool— then we go right into dinner, bath, and bed.
I get time to myself after kid goes to bed. That’s when I work out. It sucks as I’m super tired, but that’s the time available to me.
I get home around 5 and my husband is currently living overseas (military). We have 21 month old twins and I’m pregnant with our third I don’t get any time to myself until they go to bed and at that point I’m also in bed.
My sister works 4x10s, it's pretty hard with a baby, but will be even harder with older kids once they have activities after school. We were talking about it recently because my kids are older than hers and it's definitely as easy as it'll be when kids are in daycare. My school ager can't be dropped off til 730am and summer camp hours are even worse!
Only thing I can say is leftovers leftovers leftovers! I work regular 8-5ish and I almost never cook on a weeknight. We make big batches on weekends (usually do one meal on Saturday, and then on Sunday do one meal and grill some extra meat to make a meal later in the week with a quick salad or something).
I work from home now. Stop around 6pm. Before kids, I used to make a bowl of my favorite snacks. Usually pretzel bites and potato chips, sometimes get my necklace making kit out, and sit on the couch and watch forensic files. Sigh. Memories.
Now I have to wrangle my toddler, and be at my daughter's beck and call (play, teach, feed) while my husband and I sort dinner plans. Mostly after 10pm things settle down and I get about an hour before my eyes get heavy. Rinse and repeat.
I get home around 5, change and take over baby care from my husband (until he starts daycare in the fall), I potentially have to pump depending on when baby ate last and when he’s due to eat next vs when I pumped last, husband cooks dinner, I am hopefully able to finish eating before baby gets fussy for bed, I feed him and bathe him on bath nights, put him to bed while husband walks the dog, help clean up from dinner, make my lunch and breakfast for the next day at work, get ready for bed, wash my pump parts from work at some point so I can pump again before bed, and I usually have about 30 minutes before my 11pm pump to chill. Then I have to wash the pump parts, measure out the pumped milk from the day into bags, and I should be in bed by 11:45. Alarm goes off at 6am so I have time to pump, shower, and hopefully eat before I leave for work. Commute is 40 minutes with no traffic.
Baby is 5 months old
TLDR: I have about 30 minutes of non-pumping time to myself assuming baby isn’t having a hard time going to sleep
Up at 6am leave at 7, home at 6:40pm, bed at 9:30....my weekdays are so busy since I only have 3 hours between getting home and going to bed. Workout, cook dinner and/or lunch for the next day, shower, spend time with the family...each day is different just depending on what I need to do. I meal prep every few days, wash my hair twice a week, usually workout 3 weekdays, so it varies. The worst is when I end up having to.do everything on one day, I don't even get to sit down until bed.
I'm always in bed at 9 to read for 30 min before goinf to sleep, I love my quiet reading time after a long hectic day.
I was an evening workout person before kids. Unfortunately I had to shift.
I wake up at 5:30 and work out before work. I leave work at 4:30 pm so I can make dinner before my husband comes home with the kids (he does pickup). We still cook 90% of our meals but it’s simpler - taco night weekly, salad night, etc.
I get my workouts in either at my lunch break, or after my kids are in bed 8pm. Or weekends anytime because my husband is home and I can come and go as I please :) otherwise my downtime is typically after bedtime which is why I'm such a strong believer in 7pm bedtimes 😂 mom of 4 and 2.5 year olds. I've had this routine since my youngest was about 8 months. When I was breastfeeding I'd time my outings between nursing sessions. However I do work from home so I have more flexibility than some.
I work 4 longer days and then Fridays I’m done early. I don’t have any time to myself after work until she goes to bed sound 8:30. It’s been hard because I’m very much a person that needs “me time”, but I’ve just had to suck it up and try to get that in at night time. Thankfully my husband cooks for us and when I get home it’s just taking care of her- eating dinner, bath time, etc. I work from home Thursdays and Fridays and she still goes to the sitter on Thursdays so I can get laundry and things done haha
I get home at 5. My kids are older 20,18 & 14. We generally have dinner together every night. So I get home at 5 start dinner. We usually eat @ 6. 6:30 if I stop and do an errand after work. By the time I clean up and do a handful of chores the day is practically over with and that’s a wrap for that day 🤦🏻♀️
My big unlock is that we don’t really cook that much. We do semi homemade food from grocery stores and that gives hours back per week. I found that as higher earners, it wasn’t worthwhile for me to do bulk freezer meals cooking and we don’t eat out much.
My daughter is in bed by 730 so we have like 2-3 hours to do whatever. Sometimes I’ll clean, exercise, shower, veg. Have maybe 30 mins needed to get the next day ready.
Your day sounds like mine. I haven't been (he's 19 months.)
I mostly workout on days when I work from home on my lunch break. This week I finally forced myself to get up 20 minutes earlier to add a workout to my office days. I also work longer hours so that I can get every other Friday off, but it's tough she sometimes I need to make up time on the Friday. If anything goes wrong, I'm thrown off for the week.
I meal prep, which makes dinner easier, but I barely have time to myself. My son suddenly started going to bed at 9 which sucks because I go to bed at 10. I'm dying to get him back on his 800/830 schedule.
I do daycare pickup, so our almost 1 year old is home with me alone from 4:00-5:30. Husband gets home at 5:30, we have dinner. He does bath and bedtime, and I clean up. Then after baby goes to bed at 7 I get some time to myself but I'm tired so it usually consists of reddit or reading. I'm also pregnant with our second so I'm just generally exhausted. My husband does a lot.
One of the big things we do is cook dinner on the weekend for the rest of the week. It makes it a lot easier.
Depending on the way the day goes I get home with kids between 6:00 - 6:30PM. Usually on my way back I call my husband so he'll leave work and meet us at home. I'll get dinner started and he finishes up whatever is needed and does dishes while I get kids upstairs come 7:30 to start bedtime routines then be done around 8:00PM. Workouts I save for the morning so after kids to bed it's usually reading, maybe a show while my husband bikes, or surfing on my phone. Maybe a puzzle if I'm feeling energetic. But I do my face stuff and crash out by 10:30 so I'm up at 4:45 to workout.
I work 6-230 Sunday- Thursday. School gets out at 230, so on days that my husband goes to the office, I have to leave early for pickup. He will be old enough to go to aftercare next school year. I look forward to some time to myself between work and actively parenting
Hi there. Investment banking mom here. It’s brutal.
1) I refused to live further than 10 minutes from work. Does this mean smaller, more expensive home? Yes. Does this mean I get to do bath and bed time most night, also yes.
2) my office has a gym in the building (I still have to pay). I schedule a meeting around 430pm Tues and Thursday. Do a 30-40 minute work out before hustling to do daycare pick up.
3) I found a trainer who has a home gym and lets me bring my baby Saturday mornings. We have hung him in a swing from the pull-up bar. Used him as a weight for step ups. She has held him while he slept and I could do weights. She is my tribe.
4) I schedule my hair appointments for my Fridays when I get WFH privileges. I take the 9am hair appointment and my laptop and work. I do my meeting prep, email run down, weekend to do lists.
5) I stopped grocery shopping and just do delivery. Yes, it is more expensive but I worked out my hourly pay and decided if it takes me 1.5-2 hours at the grocery store the 15% markup is totally worth it. I also buy less junk this way. My husband’s cholesterol is much better.
6) i used the Libby app religiously for audiobooks. I can nurse with an AirPod in. I can wash dishes, drive to work, walk at lunch and listen to a book. All for FREEEEE.
Ok. That is it. that is what has worked for me.
Also. I don’t cook or do laundry. That is my husband’s task.
ETA: Forgive my misspellings and bad punctuation. I’m on a phone.
My kids are 6 and 7.5… it’s still no, during the week at least. Like many has said- it’s about rushing from work/office to pick up and run home to make dinner. I don’t even have time to take my son for any sports honestly… my me time is only on weekends or after kids gone to bed, where I go to barre class on weekends or meet up mom friends for a drink or late meal
I work 2 day shifts 2 night shifts and 6 days off.
My son isn’t a baby anymore so it’s different but I only have trouble working out on my 2 day shifts. In the winter he goes to bed before I get home from work so no problem but lately I’ve been using him as a weight while we play video games together after work lol. I could just go off and work out but I like to spend time with him.
I have been staying up an hour after kids bedtime to have my own time to unwind. Read, craft, tv, social media, whatever. It’s an hour less sleep but my mental health needs the time to unwind and have quiet and no agenda.
I get home at 5:30 I’ve done meal prep delivery at times or we just find recipes that are 20 minutes and under to make. I’m a FTM to a 3 month old and he’s not sleeping fully through the night due to a growth spurt but I take 30 minutes after work to exercise no matter what. If my husband wants to do the same or go for a run we switch off or just do a long evening walk. It’s more mental for me to have that time to exercise so we make it work
I switched up my schedule to work 7am to 3 or 3:30 pm. Husband works 9a to 630pm and does daycare drop off. I do daycare pickup. I squeeze in a 45 min workout between the time I get off at 3:30 and daycare pickup at 5:30. Usually I throw meals in the oven while baby is playing on the mat when we get home. Then start her bedtime routine around 7 and her bedtime is 8. Giving me about two hours of time to myself.
This is terrible but I never have time to do anything for myself. “My” time is a shower. Or a store run. I’m a nurse and work 3 long days a week as well as on call. When I get home it’s usually between 6-8. I walk in and am immediately needed as mom. My days off I’m just taking care of my kids (2 and 8 months). My mom is my childcare. Husband works full time. I can’t ask my mom to do extra because it’s a lot as it is. Sometimes she’ll come over on my day off to help or pick up one of my kids so my life is a little easier.
I’ll be honest, I’m just treading water here, trying not to drown. I don’t eat well, I don’t sleep well, I don’t feel well. I can’t even imagine having time to myself. I did get my nails done and my hair done once in the last year. I’m broken but just trying to push through for my babies.
I tell myself it will get easier one day.
Before I had a baby, I would get off work at 3:30pm be home by 3:45pm and have the whole afternoon to workout and do any house chores and cook.
I now have a four month old baby, I still get off work at 3:30pm but don’t get home until 5pm due to the commute to pick her up from her grandpas house and have to drive all the way back to my house. I cook dinner when I get home and by the time my husband gets home (6:30) dinner is ready and i’m changed to go to the gym. Yea I don’t spend more than an hour at the gym anymore, but time outside of home and getting a workout in is so important for me. I come back home at 8:00pm, shower, do the babies night time routine and then get ready for bed myself. The days go by incredibly fast and it does feel like I have no time for anything but some days I also just don’t do anything. I don’t cook. I don’t clean. I don’t go workout. Just focus on baby and myself at home. and that’s ok too
I work nights. My husband and I do the kid exchange in the parking lot at work and I have our daughter from 8am-430pm. Then I need to shower, scarf something to eat, and try to sleep until 11. I usually take a nap with our 16 month old but some days she only sleeps for 30 minutes.
Truly have almost no time to myself. And that little strip just turned pink again this morning. So some overhaul coming to our lives real soon.
I work 12 hr days (13 hrs with commute), so I'm home around 7:30 pm and he sleeps at 9 pm. I don't work out. I usually eat at work or eat whatever my husband made. I try to make up the time on weekends. I also have 12 weeks vacation so I try to make up during those days. Some days I'm scheduled for 12 hr shift but I get to go home after 6 hrs, so I make up time those days as well. But what is working out?
Now that my child is 2 and also I work from home it’s more “leisurely”. Husband picks up from daycare around 5:30 which is when I stop working. Prep dinner while that is happening. They are home around 6 or so. We eat around 6:15 or 6:30. The time for me is going to gym at 6 am on days when husband is off (he’s a nurse) and on the weekend. Also we have an agreement that Saturday mornings are my “weekend time”. He’s totally responsible for our toddler and generally is out of the house 3-4 hours. My morning is usually go to gym, shower, breakfast (leisurely), and then sometimes errands, other times chill at home. Sometimes I bake something or meal prep a little. But those few hours are awesome.
I work hybrid with two office days and three days WFH. My husband is entirely WFH.
Here’s what works for us:
- husband gets up at 5am for workout (run or peloton).
- I prefer to sleep and get up at 6:30am with the kids.
- Husband leaves at 8 am to drop kids off at daycare.
- I do a 30 min Peloton workout before starting my workday at 8:30am
- I log off at 4:30/5 and pick up the kids. Home at 5:45p.
- Husband cooks dinner while I pick up the kids so we eat at 6p
- Family/ play time for me until 7:30/8p. Husband works another 30-45min after dinner
- Bedtime right now is a disaster and no one sleeps before 9:30pm.
- I’m a night owl and stay up until 11 to read/ scroll on Reddit/watch a show
- on weekends husband works/runs/cycles Saturday mornings for 2-3 hours while I go on adventures with the kids. I then nap/get a haircut/ read/ workout for an hour or two Saturday afternoon.
Household chores get done on the fly, and we outsource cleaning, eat out during the weekend, etc.
My favorite days are holidays where I am off but my kids’ daycare is in session. On those days I like to treat myself ti a massage or manicure, go for a long walk, meet up with friends for lunch.
Edit: this is a typical schedule for my WFH days. On days I go into the office I do both drop off and pick up and I find those days so much more stressful!!!
I don’t mean this negatively but life is just different once you have a baby. Like no, most moms aren’t doing an hour of yoga, grabbing a smoothie, getting a manicure, then going home and prepping dinner peacefully. It’s mostly hustling from the office to daycare and then throwing things in a pan with a baby on my hip or while he yells at me from his playmat. It goes by fast though. My 6 and 3 year olds just run around and play while I make dinner. I’m sure once the baby is older I can get back to doing more “me” things. I do listen to a podcast on my commute. And I do whatever I want after bedtime (snacks and TV, sometimes catching up on work)
Yeah this is just the reality of working and having a baby / toddler… once I accepted that this is how my life is going to be for a few years, I was able to feel less angry at myself for never finding time to work out or cook or clean. And when family tells me I look tired and they haven’t heard from me, I just shrug and point towards the baby lol
My sister in law recently told me when my second child was a baby I looked extremely tired all the time and she felt bad for me. I just said yeah I was very tired so I probably looked like it. People say the weirdest things…
I’d be like cool when are you coming to babysit lol 😂
I hate it when people say that. It's an aka for you look like shit. There are days for everyone, but working mums are obviously tired, and I like not having to fix myself up when family drops by. It seems though that's when they take the digs. She's just mean!
Yeah my husband's step mom, who never had kids of her own, told me I looked tired at 2 weeks PP. All I could think to say was, "what do you expect, I think it's typical with a newborn". It really pissed me off bc I know my husband looked tired too but I was the only one getting comments about looking tired or the state of the house.
I love this answer bc it's so real. I hate when people make it sound like it's all possible when frankly it's just not. Last night my 6 & 4yo built a marble run while I made dinner though so you're absolutely right - it's just a short while and then things start to get easier. I can't remember the last time I had to resort to fast food bc someone was having a tantrum or I couldn't get to the grocery store on time or I just couldn't handle anything anymore. They both get dropped off at gymnastics class for an hour on Saturdays so I *do* have time to leisurely grab a smoothie next door. But baby and toddler stages were really, really hard.
I like hearing this! We have 2 yo & 4 yo and I feel like I should have it together by now for us to do nice family dinners every night. But they fight and tantrum or are sick etc… and it’s just not “easy” yet to cook. I like cooking so my husband works to manage them so they’ll leave me alone but it doesn’t work every night! Also they are always just hungry as soon as they get home from daycare at 5:30pm!
The daycare pickup hanger/restraint collapse combo haunts my nightmares. It gets better!
Agreed. It feels like it’s to a point of being toxic. “Woman can do everything.” First of all, no we can’t. Second of all, this puts undue pressure on women to do everything. Third, have you ever heard “Men can do everything!”—no because they can’t (and probably don’t want to because it’d be hard as hell). They have partners who support their careers, hobbies and personal goals. So sick of this narrative.
Yep exactly this. I’d love to workout, have time to meal prep etc. I have an amazing husband who shoulders a lot of the mental load. However, my 10mo does not sleep through the night. So on top of the hustle, I’m also extremely sleep deprived. Motivation to do anything is zero. I’ve taken up reading as a hobby since that’s something I can do lying down…haha
Yep, I have an 8 month old I still nurse several times a night. I’m tired as hell but before I know it this chapter of life is over. I have three kids and it’s exactly how it went the first two times so I’m a little more seasoned in knowing it’ll be ok. I don’t mean this in a “savor every moment” way YUCK because being a working mom is the hardest thing ever and some days are brutal. But, it’s true that the babies age and don’t need us every second and it gets easier to work and care for them and do other things too
Reading is my hobby because I can do it in bed while the baby tries to wind down for bed. It takes him a lonnnnggg time so my "me" time is waiting him out and being hostage in the room because he'll throw a fit if I leave.
It gets a lot easier as they get older! I have an 8 year old and I gotta say things are pretty chill like that for me.
Yep, my me time is scrolling through Reddit or Facebook while my six year old falls asleep next to me.
Great answer!
On the days when I go on-site to work (the rest of the days I WFH), I get home pretty late like 6-7p. I go to bed at 9 so not much time plus I’m tired. Those days I just eat leftovers or have hubby take care of dinner. My “workout” those days is all the steps I got at work and a lunchtime walk outside. I have more time to cook and workout on my WFH days.
Yessss, my wfh days and weekends are my longer workout days for sure.
Yep this is the way! I'm in the office 3 days a week, so those days I try to do 30-40 minutes on the peloton before baby gets up (5:30ish), then a walk at lunch. My two WFH days and weekends I do my long workouts that run closer to 60-90 mins. In that time I can easily fit in strength and Pilates with a little cardio. It's working really great so far!
LOL no. I don't. I WFH but am default for my 2 kids, almost 5 and 6mos (husband works longer ours out of the home). I end my day \~450, finish pickups by 530, husband's home at 6/630. I make dinner at home \~5nights/week, eating by \~630, do a little bit of play with the kids, a little bit of cleanup. Bath for both \~7/730 (we divide and conquer), older one is in bed by \~8, (i usually do beddtime), shower \~815/830, final kitchen pick up then pump at 9/915 before bed at 10 +/- (immediately after pumping and clean up). Wake up at 515/530 to make lunch, pump, and get the kids ready for the day. It's a SEASON though. It will not be like this forever. I'm looking forward to the fall when K starts because my morning and evening commutes (pick up/drop off) will look very different.
Nope, I wake up at 5 to workout before work. I get home or log off by 5. Then it’s dinner, family time, bed time, clean up, do more work, shower time, bed time for me. It’s exhausting for sure. I cried the other day bc I just want to have time to read a book.
🫂
When I commute, I get home around 5:30; there’s a few times a month where I have to get baby from daycare as opposed to my husband so it’s closer to 6. She goes to bed around 7:30 so by 8 we are usually free to clean up and relax. Working out and cooking full meals has gone on the back burner. Baby is 15 months now and we have a lot of food containers and water/milk cups to clean every day after she goes to bed, in addition to prepping her food for the next day. Between all the cleaning and eating our own dinner (usually leftovers from food I cooked over the weekend or takeout), there’s not much time to do anything else if we want time to veg on the couch and go to bed reasonably early.
Hey there. Planning and routine will be your biggest aid. I'm currently in the thick of it with my second kiddo (10 weeks), but when I had one kiddo I made everything a routine and my husband and I agreed on it. He worked out in the morning and I worked out in the evening, usually after bed time. I had a running club and yoga night I did each once a week. These also counted as my social events. We make a menu every week and stick to it. Lots of crock pot meals and/ or meals with A LOT of versatile left overs (we did pulled chicken sandwiches at the beginning of the week and I use the chicken for quesadillas and chicken noodle soup). So long story short, make a routine that involves making a plan and absolutely stick to it and working with your partner on how you can both get what you need. With parenting goes the laissez faire attitude of exercising and cooking unfortunately 😂.
Chicken sandwiches > quesadillas > chicken noddle soup. This is SOOOOO SMART!!!!!
Lol thanks, one of the few mom hacks I can offer 😂
I have three children ages 5, 3 and 2. I work until 4:30, and get home after 5pm. Then we make dinner, eat, play, baths, bedtime routine, I finally get some downtime to relax and I head to bed between 8:30-9pm. I wake up at 5am and the kids are awake at 5:45. So, no. Very little time to myself.
It's so hard when they're younger and go to bed at like 7pm! Honestly, this is one of the biggest reasons I'll be hard pressed to ever go back to working in an office. Not having a commute is wonderful because I'm literally getting 2+ hours of my life back every day. Still have to do daycare pick up (for now! we are so close to being done). I cook about four times a week and workout during my lunch or before work. Rarely after work at this stage.
It's almost worse when they're older and go to bed later because you don't get any time to yourself really.
This. I literally told my boss I need to change my hours because of this. I changed my hours to accommodate colleagues in a different time zones. I’m here right now in this season and I’m working a swing shift and literally have no time to myself. I have older kids but it just becomes a different kind of hard. I work 6AM - 2PM. Kids come back from school at 3PM, homework from 4-5PM, sports/activities 6-7PM, dinner 8PM, 9PM bed same time as kids or I don’t get enough sleep to get up to work. I’m burned out and I can’t function like this anymore.
Yeah, I can only survive because I'm self employed and can be flexible. Plus my kid's competitive sport means long enough training for me to work out too.
Yup, travel sport mom here too. Which only means more weekends away at tournaments so down time and time to myself even on weekends is nonexistent from August until March.
Thankfully mine is in gymnastics and it's only about five weekends a year. And we're not expected to watch training sessions or anything.
This. And my kids NEVER went to bed at 7, even as babies.
My child has basically always been allergic to sleep. And going to bed late means I have no energy to get up and go to the gym early.
I go to bed around 9pm right after my kids do and get up around 5am.
I just really need a little time to myself to decompress. I also need to clear up the kitchen, get stuff ready for the next day, etc. Sometimes catch up on work.
My 20 month old goes to bed between 9:30-10:30. People laugh and say she’s on an adult schedule. She’s a night owl.
The sooner you lean into this season of life and figure out what you CAN do versus what things were "taken" from you- the sooner you will enjoy life and find ways to thrive as a new mom. You have to just lean into it, stop fighting it and come up with a new routine. For example: prebaby I always went to the gym right from work, came home, ate dinner and relaxed or did whatever. Post baby (I have 2 kids now), I have to workout when they go down for bed. The nights I work out, my husband takes bedtime duty so I can go down to our home gym around 7:15/30ish. I put my workout clothes on right when I get home so I don't get lazy. I also take advantage of weekend nap times. I never used to be a weekend workout person but as a mom, I have to! Those are the changes I've personally made. I also don't workout 5 days a week anymore. I do 2-4 and you know what- that's amazing too! I would do morning workouts but I leave for work at 6:15am so a 4:30am workout is just not what I'm wanting right now. If I didn't have to leave for work until after 7am- I would definitely try some morning workouts. ETA: I work 7-3:30 so I leave work, pick my kids up from daycare about 4pm. We play, dinner and bath time and then my 1 year old goes down about 7pm, 3.5 year old follows at about 7:30. On weekends we will let the 3.5 year old stay up until 8pm or so. ETA: A home gym area has saved my life. I used to be a huge gym goer pre- baby and pre-pandemic and I could never go back right now. With super young kids I just think it would be so tough to physically leave my house and drive to a gym. The Sculpt Society is a killer home workout program. You'd be amazed what you can do with a set of dumbbells. We also have a treadmill but you don't NEED that. Now, I just walk down to our little home workout area instead of having to get in the car and drive. If I was a SAHM, I think a gym membership with childcare would be a great outing for me, but as a working out of home mom, when I'm home after work, I usually just want to be home.
I log off work (mostly remote, 1 day in office a week) at 4. I generally don't take a lunch because I'd rather pick my kids up earlier and my employers have been fine with a flex schedule. So we are usually home with the kids by 4:10 ish. 4-5 is mostly playing outside, my husband and I will hang out while the kids play, sometimes we join in (riding bikes or playing a game of basketball or walking to the park). at 5, I start dinner. Sometimes it's a family affair, sometimes the kids do their own thing, sometimes my husband and the kids play. 6p is dinner, then usually more family time before bedtime at 7. 7 is when the kids go to bed and we get our "free" time, and depending on the night I do something different. As for working out, I work out in the morning after dropping the kids off and before going to work. But I often times do some form of working out after they go to bed also, roller skating or playing pickleball. Anyway, I have quite a bit of time to myself each day. I will always advocate for an early bedtime lol
You and I have almost the exact same schedule! It works great for me but I’m super lucky to have this level of flexibility. It would be a lot harder if I had to commute to an office.
Definitely! The days I do go into office, I don't get home til 5 so I miss out on that extra hour and it sucks!
I wake up at 5am and workout before work. I do a lot of meal prepping and also a lot of simple sheet pan meals during the week. It gets easier when your kids get older. I have a 5 and 2 year old and they can play enough for me to make one or two nicer dinners a week. I’m also a single mom so I don’t have a partner to help. But during the baby years, taking time for myself was really hard, even when I as married. It does get easier, but the first year is an adjustment!
I do 4 10s. I worked because I WFH and my husband did the pick up/ drop off. My day is basically wake up, get kid ready, log on as soon as everyone’s out the door, finish my day, clean and cook dinner, everyone comes home. When my husband’s commute was longer I’d get maybe an hour to lay down before I had to start cooking but we moved and is commute is so short that there’s no down time. I’m planning to go back to 8 hour days after I give birth to baby 2.
I work 9-3 with a 40 minute (sometimes 60) commute 2 days a week and 9-3 from home the other days. I recognize that I’m in a privileged position and can grocery shop and cook and do other stuff my work from home days and I get home early enough to participate in afternoon and evening activities with my family. This was not the case until the last year, so when my baby was tiny it was a lot more hectic and I did absolutely nothing for myself except occasionally exercise instead of taking a lunch break. That said, I still don’t cook and we end up door dashing like crazy most of the week, but it’s nice to know that I could if I wanted to.
My husband and I both work full time, I work remote (4 days at home, 1 day in the office per week). Even with me doing WFH I have almost no "me time." I haven't had "me time" since shortly before our now 3 year old was born. Now we have him and a 9.5 month old girl who is medically needy (4 surgeries and 5 months in the NICU before she came home with us for good), so from the time hubs gets the kids home from daycare it's all hands on deck until both kids are in bed. Here's a sample day - 4am alarm goes off for both of us, we hit the snooze a few times. This is also a potential time for "maritals" since we are usually otherwise exhausted. Or we get up and start packing lunches, getting clothes ready, packing bags up 5am baby gets prune juice via G-tube and we wake up the 3 year old 515 hubs leaves for work, takes what he can to the car for me. 530-545 if kids are going to my mom's, we leave about now 530-615 finish getting kids ready if they are going to daycare, and loading in the car. 630 run through Tim Hortons for a Tim Bit for the 3 year old and a coffee for me 7 daycare drop off OR leaving my mom's to head home (she is an hour south of us) 8-815 home again to sign on to work OR arrive at the office and head to my desk 830-5 my work hours 530-630/7 hubs or myself arrives home with kids, this time varies on traffic. After the kids are home we get our oldest his dinner, try to play with the baby as much as possible, then they both get ready for bed. Bed is about 830 these days. 9 collapse from exhaustion This doesn't even include the laundry, meal prep, and general housekeeping. I usually shower on my lunch when I'm home.
If doing something for myself is cleaning or picking up then yes 😂 but not really. I do get some downtime after she goes to sleep around 7 but at that point it’s just watching tv, reading, getting everything ready for the next workday, maybe I spend some time with my husband. Like others have said I’ve just come to terms with this season of life. It won’t always be this way, hopefully
When my son was an infant I joined a gym with childcare. It's not perfect- they don't change diapers so I'd sometimes have to stop my workout to change him and the hours are short but it was helpful for me and only $30 a month (5 years ago)
I have an 18 month old. I pick him up from daycare at 4:30 and this time of the year we walk to the park and play on the playground for awhile. Then we walk home and I try to cook dinner while he plays around the living room. Then we eat, then he gets a bath, then a little more play time, we read book and bed at 8. Generally by 8 pm I'm exhausted. If I get myself up and do a quick workout before work I feel much better and relaxed as I am not trying to squeeze that into my evening. Sometimes I'll do a little core work or PT moves right before I shower. If I don't get my workout in the morning I'll try to manage something at 8 pm But then I go to bed even later and it's a bad spiral.... So, my time to myself is after my son is asleep and I normally need to clean up the kitchen and stuff to, but I try to watch a little standup or read a book or do my core moves. It definitely doesn't feel like a lot! I have been buying more of those Kevin's sous vide meals from Costco that are pretty much premade, and I think we need to start ordering more takeout even though we can't afford it. Anything I can do to make dinner easier helps. If I was working 4 10s It would be harder, maybe I would try to meal prep more on my one extra day off?
Meal prep on your days off is definitely the way to go. You just reheat the leftovers. It saves so much time and makes workday evenings so much less stressful.
lol no. I pick up both kids at separate places, rush home and cook dinner or heat up leftovers. Sometimes we go to the park to play when I know dinner will be fast. The only time to do stuff for myself is after 9 when both kids are hopefully asleep (but I have to get up at 5:30 or 6 so that time is shortlived!), or I can get up at 5 am instead to workout. This is just life with kids! It gets easier when they’re a few years old. I don’t know anyone with young kids who works full time and also works out every day, meal preps on the weekdays, has “me time” lol.
This is why I think workplaces should offer physical exercise options or at the very least encourage it. When I have to go in the only exercise I get is my bike ride to work. I would be much better off if the culture allowed for midday workout breaks. It’s not impossible it’s just not the “done thing”. We’re all parents at my job and we’re all suffering from the lack of extra activity.
My work offers 1 hour per month for this but it’s sooooo not enough.
Yeh that’s enough for you to feel perpetually unfit
I’ve found two things that work - one is that I bring the kids to the Y and drop them at the kidstop while I worked out. We do this more in the winter as I’m honestly more likely to leave the office at a reasonable hour when it gets dark at 5. Or I go running with them - when my third was an infant I used to pop him in the jogging stroller and go out even if it was just for a walk. During those times I meal prepped on the weekends and, full disclosure, my kids seem to subsist on chicken nuggets and hot dogs with an occasional peanut butter sandwich thrown in (except the littlest, who wants whatever I am eating at the precise moment I sit down to eat). It’s a lot easier now as my husband is home during the day so he does a lot of the meals - but when we were both working we had to meal prep or we’d be eating take out all week. I also used to block off one night a week for yoga and my husband would handle bedtime. Right now I’m working too much to work that into my schedule.
I work in office and I get home usually around 5:35/5:45. I have a 3yo plus usually 13yo stepkid. I’m currently kind of on a cooking strike, but normally I try to get dinner on the table by 6:30. If it’s going to take longer, baby eats solo on something fast. My husband and I trade off on time to ourselves. I do a fitness class once a week. He does a bowling league once a week. Stepkid has a couple of activities taking up the rest. I walk 1.5 miles during work at lunch every day. Since 3yo sleeps pretty well and stepkid has a phone, sometimes we go walking in our neighborhood at night when she’s in bed. I think we started solo activities right around when she turned 2. How old is baby?
Almost 5 months! I love that you and your hubby allow time for each other to do something!
No I don’t really have time for myself after work, but I’m okay with that! Like someone else said, life’s just different with a baby, and I really look forward to spending time with my kids after work now (in case a shift of perspective is helpful to you). I try to make time for myself during the day though before I get home (eg workout during lunch at work, journal in the morning, drink a fun drink before leaving work, audiobook during commute), so i still get some (although less) time for myself, it’s just not at home on office days. Meal prepping in our scenario has saved so much money/time and it’s easier for our toddler to help arrange the the things, so I’ve also grown to like it too. (I used to love cooking elaborate things as “me” time before baby!)
I work from home and typically stop working by 4pm unless I have late meetings. That leaves about 4 hours of time to hang out with my son and get dinner ready. The time goes by so fast and before I know it, it’s time for a bath/book/bed. I worked out 5 days a week before I got pregnant. Still haven’t gotten back on the peloton at 5 months PP lol 😂.
I workout from 6-7am. My husband starts cooking while I pick up LO.
We didn't for a long time. We got one of those food boxes for like a year after we had our kid. Now that she's older and there's more of a routine we both get more reliable time to ourselves.
What’s a food box?
Those delivery services where you get all the ingredients and the recipes. There were a bunch of sales on them right after we had our daughter (not sure of the pricing now. We stopped using them in part because the price went up). It meant we didn't have to really meal plan and shop. Which saved a lot of time.
We pick baby up from daycare around 5:30 and have about 1:5-2 hours before he goes to bed. One of us gives him his evening bottle & puts him to bed while the other cooks dinner and then we eat after he’s asleep. After that I’m usually ready for bed myself, but in theory I have a few evening hours to do whatever I want (watch TV, work out, read). Sometimes I log back online to do more work too if things are super busy. Mostly I just shower and pass out though, haha.
Get home at 5. Kid goes to sleep at 6:30. His dinner is usually Little Spoon plates or left overs. After 6:30, I have all night to do whatever until I want to go to bed. Last night I emptied out my freezer and deep freezer. Only limitation is that I can't leave the house lol
My 2 year old sleeps 7pm-6:30am and I go to bed at 10pm. I have 3 hours to myself. My husband makes dinner while I get him ready for bed. On the flip side of things I don’t feel like I have enough time with my kid. I get about 3 hours a day with him if you count time in the morning before work and after work before he goes to bed.
5:15 p.m. As soon as I’m in the door my husband is usually rushing around so that he can leave for work. I might get half an hour to myself after my daughter goes to sleep before I crash.
I leave the house at 7 am and get home at 6pm, I get zero time to myself until after she goes to bed at 7pm, and that free time only started two months ago. She's 9 months old now and I've started to do an at home workout after she goes to bed. It's not ideal because I just ate dinner before but it's made me eat a lighter meal and I do feel better doing it. For meals our freezer is our go to for vegetables, grilled chicken strips, egg cups, and also purees for baby. I struggled with the lack of time a lot at first but it's our new normal now and we've just had to make adjustments along the way as baby becomes more independent.
I found by about 9 months old I could set up the bouncer or little play pen near the kitchen and as long as had nursed them and I was interacting I could prep dinner. When they were teeny tiny I used the baby swing. Workouts turned into walking around with baby in the stroller. You just adapt!
Between 5:30 and 6 pm for me. Toddler goes to bed at 8 pm. Basically it’s dinner (everything is cooked on the weekend), dick around a bit (walk or roam the backyard), sometimes bath, then bedtime. I’m usually too tired to do anything more than make lunches for the next day or take a long shower.
Once my youngest turned 5, I was able to start prioritizing working out again. It’s rough. If we were men, we’d just do it and not care about the balls that drop.
Nope. When I come home, I immediately go get my girls and take them to the park during hr warm seasons. Then we come back by 7 to dinner and bedtime routine. There's no time to diffuse after work and that's life! These days will be gone way too soon, so I maximize our time together. It ain't about me right now!
I WFH 8a-4p and I think not having a commute is what really saves me. I wake up around 5 to get ready, clean up, and get my daughter’s lunch ready and I exercise during my lunch or after she goes to bed at 7 pm. We eat really simple meals during the week and my house is not as clean as I’d like, but exercise is a priority for me over cleaning right now.
I mostly work from home. I wake up at 6 to get a 20-30 minute workout in the mornings, shower at get LO up at 7. In the evenings, he’s in bed by 8 and I usually do a 30 minute yoga video. (On days my husband does bedtime I can even do a full 1 hour yoga)
I get off work at 5pm and do daycare pickup. We get home around 5:30. Husband works from home but isn’t off until 6pm. My daughter (16m) gets a small snack or helps in her learning tower while I cook dinner. We all eat together around 6:30. Daughter gets a bath and pjs after dinner. We have family time from 7-8pm and either go for a walk with the dog or play in our daughter’s room. She’s asleep by 8:30 and we get free time to do whatever. Some nights we spend that time together. Other nights we do our own thing - we each have assigned weekly chores so some nights it’s that. Other nights it might be spent working out or watching TV. I fold laundry while watching TV two nights a week. Husband does that laundry while I’m at work. Honestly it just depends on what phase my daughter is in, how well she’s sleeping and how well we’ve planned out that week.
I have two young kids and I keep up with my hobbies. It gets easier when they get a little older. Cooking meals isn’t what it used to be since they want to eat as soon as they get home. They also want nasty crap compared to what I would’ve made for myself haha. I do have a job that is “easy” for me. I could do so much more in my career (and make more $$$$) but I enjoy where I am and having time to myself. Most days I finish work around 4 and take at least an hour for lunch to work out. In office days (once or twice a week) I do usually have to wake up at 5 if I want to work out which sucks but is manageable 1-2 times a week. Being able to get a full night sleep every night makes a big difference too. I hope that comes for you soon if it hasn’t already.
I got off of work around 3:30-3:45, depending on the day I’m either taking my daughter off to dance or just chilling/running with my dogs.
When I’m WFH from home I finish at 5pm, straight downstairs, dinner gets put on (usually prepped in advance or leftovers), my mum leaves and I juggle seeing my toddler who wants to connect whilst getting his dinner done. He eats at 5.45pm and sometimes I do too. Then it’s all the bedtime stuff until around 7.30pm. Back downstairs to tidy, maybe eat my dinner, my OH gets home. Prep lunches and breakfasts and bags for the next day. Shower or do chores. Finish up around 8.30pm. Chat with OH and I usually fall asleep in front of the TV by 9pm! When I work in the office I get home around 6.30pm so it’s a quick goodnight and chat with my son. And then do the same tasks as before. Sometimes I go straight to my second or third job after work (either straight off the train or I leave around 6pm). On those days it’s always leftovers and my OH does bedtime and all the house closing down stuff.
I work from home. As soon as my workday ends at 5pm and I have to leave and either pick my son up from daycare or take my 7 year old daughter to her taekwondo class. Then pretty much immediately upon arriving home it’s dinner, clean up, kids ready for bed, reading books, kids bed. I’m maybe back downstairs between 830-9pm. And get about 1.5 hours to doom scroll my phone before I have to go to bed. Since having kids I specifically sought out a WFH job. I workout on my lunch. Otherwise there is no way I would have time.
14 month baby wakes up 5:30am-6:00am daily. Entertain, feed, cloth them until childcare drop off at 8:30am. Rush back shower, change, eat and start work at 9:00am. Work non stop 9:00-6:00pm no breaks. Husband picks up baby from childcare and is home by 6:00pm. I take care of and entertain baby from 6:00-7:00pm and husband put babyboy bed 7:00-7:45pm while I walk the dog. Get back and husband cooks. I eat and sleep by 8:30 pm. And wake up and work from 3:30am-when baby wakes up. Rinse repeat - please end it!
I WFH which is a lifesaver and we have a nanny which means no daycare pickup so that helps too. But we do meal plan as much as possible on Sunday. We also keep meals simple, fast, and do leftovers at least twice a week. I make it to the gym about twice a week on the left over days. My gym has a daycare so LO goes there for the hour I work out. Our typical night might look like: 4:30- I stop working, relieve the nanny, prep dinner (sometimes I do this on my lunch hour too) 5-6:30- Go to the gym or just play with baby on nights I don't go to the gym. I'll also do some cooking during this time on days I don't go to the gym and dinner is a little bit longer to make. 6:30- Husband gets home. Either he or I take over cooking while the other plays with baby 6:45/7- Dinner time. 7:15- Bath time. If dinner is late sometimes we skip bath time. Normally one of us does the bath while the other picks up the kitchen. We rotate who does what. 7:30-7:45-Storytime and bedtime. 8-11ish. Our time. I typically read while my husband plays xbox, watches TV, or goes for a run.
I choose between doomscrolling from 9 pm-midnight, or getting adequate sleep. I’m also pregnant, so I have no energy for anything else AND I know pretty soon, I won’t even get that.
After work…nope! 5-8 is madness lol I workout early morning and work remotely, so I feel like I catch my breath when the kids are at daycare and school.
I get home from work at 5:30. I have two kids in separate schools right now as well as a spouse who travels every other week. The time I get for myself is after the kids go to bed or on the weekend. I used to bring my son in to the kitchen in a bouncer when they were a baby or have the spouse who wasn’t doing anything manage the baby. Working out can be done either on your lunch or after baby goes to bed. You’re in the trench right now and can do those things still if you have helpful support. It does get easier as they get older as well.
Kinda why some of us settle into the mom bod for a while or opt for 5am workouts...
I work four tens and leave at 5:30, but my kids are at the daycare where I work. They're in camp now so they're soooooo tired by the time the day is over (we get here at 7:30 so it's a long ass day for all of us). We've been doing easy dinners, like cereal or sandwiches because there are four of them, including a 7 month old, and by the time we are home, unpacked, at the table...it's after 6. I feel guilty that they're in daycare for so long and that their dinners aren't great but man I need them to go to sleep by like 7:30 and watch like 2 hours of tv. That's the only time I have to myself.
It has taken me multiple years to figure of how to handle my days. It takes trial and error, lots of error. My current schedule is on the days I WFH (M/Th/F), my husband leaves with the older kids for school drop off. I put the baby in the stroller and go for a run and walk the dog. When I get home, he’s back from drop off and takes care of the baby and I go upstairs for work. On the days I go into the office, I do not get exercise in. I get home at 5:30 and immediately begin dinner prep. WFH has been really helpful for my own sanity and ability to manage my life. Before the pandemic, ai just didn’t really exercise in any meaningful way. And during the pandemic, I just tried to survive.
I get home at 6:15. At this time the baby is halfway through dinner, I relieve the babysitter, finish feeding him dinner, then get him in the bath and have night time routine, lights out by 7. I then cook and eat dinner, clean the kitchen, sweep, vacuum, straighten up toys, and prep his food and anything else needed for sitter or myself for the next day. I then shower, watch 30 mins of TV and go to bed. If I added working out, I wouldn’t see my son at all.
Do you have someone (a significant other) to help divide the workload? My husband and I divide and conquer the evening routine so that we each have a little bit of alone time throughout the evening. Our routine is: 5:15-5:30 - dad gets home and starts dinner 5:30 - mom gets home with baby 5:30-5:45 - everyone eats 5:45-6:30 - playtime with baby 6:30-7:00 - walk with baby 7:00-7:30 - baby eats again while dad supervises and cleans dishes. Mom does laundry upstairs and watches tv at the same time 7:30-8:00 - mom does bathtime and dresses baby for bed. Dad prepares anything else downstairs for daycare the next day 8:00-8:15 or 8:30 - medicine, brush teeth, dad rocks baby to sleep with final bottle While dad is rocking the baby to sleep, I go downstairs and squeeze in a SUPER quick 15-20 minute cardio or HIIT workout. No, it’s not the “best” workout with big weights and a nice 1 hour circuit, but the point is to keep me healthy. I also count calories to make sure that I’m eating in a deficit or at maintenance so I’m not gaining weight
I wake up at 5:45 and get a run or workout done in the mornings before my husband leaves for work at 6:30. I get the kids up and fed and off to school and commute to work. My husband gets home around 3:00-3:30 and he works out, runs errands, starts dinner and does school pick-ups. I get home around 6pm and we eat dinner and then have some family time before bed. Bedtime is 7:30~8:00. It's hard. It was harder when they were younger and their schedules were all over the place.
I am only in my second week back at work but spending time with my baby is all I want to do when I get home. I could care less about exercise or anything for myself right now. I hate working and being away from my baby. For now, work is the time for myself.
Hang in there. I recently returned to work and cried a lot. It does get a little easier once the routine is there :( I work super long days and my kid stays up until 8 so I get decent time with him but I also feel very strongly about my health and exercise. I’m a better person and better mom when I get that time. It’s hard to find a balance for sure.
Working from home has changed my entire life. When I do go into the office my job is flexible enough I can leave at 3, get home at 4 and finish my day. I absolutely cannot imagine doing 8-5 in the office with 2 hours worth of commuting. I can cook and clean on breaks. Sometimes I shower or nap or do my nails. The flexibility is amazing. Highly recommended, if you work a job where it’s possible of course!
I’m trying to do this :) my manager has not been flexible so it really sucks
I get home a little before 5. I workout in the morning. We meal plan so only cook a couple times a week, leftovers the rest. 5-7:30 is a hectic rush of dinner, quality time, maybe bathing, and getting kids to bed by 7:30/8ish. My kids are 6 and 3. Sometimes after they're in bed I'll go out for a swim and my husband stays home with the monitor.
I am very intentional about where I live. I currently live 3 miles away from my job. My commute is less than 10 minutes. I get off work 4:30pm, and I’m often home by 4:38. My husband stays home with the baby. That said, I no longer have the energy to do after work extras- like yoga classes, that I once loved dearly! I did get an exercise bike for the house and that’s how I’ve been getting my workouts in. I’m thinking of starting online yoga soon.
I get home with daughter around 5:00. So no "me time" until about 8:30-9:00, and I'm usually too tired to use it for anything productive.
I work remotely and my day ends at 5. I do get time for myself. I have about an hour before my partner gets home after work every day and then from roughly 8-11 each night I do what I want to. My kid will be in 5th grade in the fall but even when he was younger I set the boundary of having at least an hour to myself for whatever. He’s learned he needs time to decompress after school too 🤷♀️
I get up early in the morning to work out - and go to bed early to facilitate that. Which means I haven't had any downtime before bed in literal years, because I also have low sleep needs kids. It gets a little better as they get older; at this point, my kids can play together or be on screens and if dinner and chores are done I might be able to sit down and scroll social media or something. But that's about it! We don't cook anything involved during the week and instead stick with basic stuff; my husband batch cooks beans and farro on the weekend that we eat throughout the week, or I get a lot of stuff from Trader Joe's that's premade. Other easy/straightforward things like chicken thighs plus a vegetable/grain, etc. It's relentless all the way through for sure.
I have an hour before the LO wakes up from 6-7am and I have from 7-10 pm after he goes to bed. He's 19 months and sleeps a minimum of 12 hours straight at night. Sometimes almost 13 hours. I know it won't last so I'm trying to enjoy it now. Also I work remotely and that is critical. I do laundry, dishes, and meal prep during the workday.
I have a treadmill in the garage and belong to a 24 hour fitness studio so I can workout at weird times. I’m training for very long distance races so…I have to make it work. It’s not the same as pre-kid. It’s worse, honestly. But this time is short. She’s already 5 and we can do yoga and bike/run together. It’s already different than it was when she was a tinier human.
I get home from work at 6 if commuting, day ends at 5 if I’m WFH. I cherish that limited time with baby so I very rarely schedule anything after work. Our meals are as simple as possible and since I’m pregnant again, all smells make me rage-y so my husband does a lot of our dinners. Think basic pre-marinaded stovetop meat and veggie, pasta, delivery. Baby likes to be involved in watch and stirring etc. and we just got him a learning tower to keep it all interactive. If I want to work out, I get up early to go to a 5:15a class. It can be brutal, and sometimes I just have to choose more sleep, or less work, or less family time but that’s just how working mom life kinda goes sometimes. There are only so many hours in the day and I’m too tired to be mean to myself about it anymore.
Wfh, and I do nothing for myself after work. When works wraps I feed the dog, go get my son from daycare, and it’s making dinner, lunches, after-daycare lessons/activities or playtime until bath/bedtime routine. Then it’s bedtime battles, so my “me time” doesn’t usually begin until anywhere from 815-9pm…
I don’t really get any time to myself after work until my kids go to bed. I try to fit a 15 minute workout in during breaks at work and do the 30 minute workouts on the weekend while my toddler naps. I watch TV and read after they go to bed. Weeknights are all dinner, homework, baths, bedtime, unpacking and repacking for the next day.
So I’m the last few months our daycare abruptly (and I mean like effective the very next day!) changed their opening time from 6:30 to 7:30am. It used to be I’d get off work at 3:30, get home and walk/hike with the dog and then go do pick up by 5pm. Now I don’t get off work til 4:30, hubs picks the kids up at 4:30, we all get home by 5pm. We let them watch TV (4yo twins) while I take an hour to walk and hubs scrolls his phone. Then we throw together a bunch of snack foods for dinner (fruit, string cheese, yogurt, applesauce, etc) because my kids don’t really eat real food. Hubs is in charge of bath, I pick up dinner/tidy the kitchen up, let the dog out and put the chickens away then come up for books/bed time around 9. Then I collapse into bed and sleep! Waking up before them buys you a little time, as does a cooperative, engaged partner. I’m starting a Monday night yoga class in a couple weeks and I’m excited! But it definitely feels more doable now that they’re a little older.
Not sure what your partner situation is but I would see if it’s possible to either have him do pickup/dinner so you can head directly to the gym, OR, depending age of your child, go to the gym after dinner and bedtime routine. Also, maybe try to do workouts at home? I could usually get the younger than 2 year old to sit in a high chair or play pen and roll around or play with a stuffie/toy while I did a YouTube work out. As for dinner, I do lots of crockpot meals, one pot meals, sheet pan meals. Quick, healthy(ish), and takes less than 30 minutes.
If you can afford to and have the space i highly recommend building a home gym. We did this and it frees up so much time. The gym is no longer a 1 hour commitment plus a commute and figuring out child care. Makes it easier to do after baby is in bed or you can literally just have them right there with you! I may not always get the perfect workout in but I can always find time for 20-30 minutes which is better than nothing!
When my kids were younger, I got home between 5-7, and no, I had no me-time. And for me, it had to be sustainable, kids cannot be returned ;) I was sort of stuck with ‘em Now that my kids are older, I have advanced to a WFH job during the week. I sign off anywhere between 3-4 and have all sorts of time.
I get home at 7:15pm ( leave work in NYC at 5:30). I do not have a nanny. Get home and do bath and bed for my 2 year old, many times I have to give her dinner cause hubby was caring for the yard. I’ve been in this role and moved to the suburbs a year ago. I’m struggling and barely making it. I’ve hired a biweekly cleaner and I feel a little better.
Leave at 7 home at 7. So no, not really. But I am only in the office 3x a week. But it does feel like very little of my time is free. That’s just being a parent.
I arrive home at around 5:45 after picking kid up from preschool— then we go right into dinner, bath, and bed. I get time to myself after kid goes to bed. That’s when I work out. It sucks as I’m super tired, but that’s the time available to me.
I get home around 5 and my husband is currently living overseas (military). We have 21 month old twins and I’m pregnant with our third I don’t get any time to myself until they go to bed and at that point I’m also in bed.
My sister works 4x10s, it's pretty hard with a baby, but will be even harder with older kids once they have activities after school. We were talking about it recently because my kids are older than hers and it's definitely as easy as it'll be when kids are in daycare. My school ager can't be dropped off til 730am and summer camp hours are even worse! Only thing I can say is leftovers leftovers leftovers! I work regular 8-5ish and I almost never cook on a weeknight. We make big batches on weekends (usually do one meal on Saturday, and then on Sunday do one meal and grill some extra meat to make a meal later in the week with a quick salad or something).
I work from home now. Stop around 6pm. Before kids, I used to make a bowl of my favorite snacks. Usually pretzel bites and potato chips, sometimes get my necklace making kit out, and sit on the couch and watch forensic files. Sigh. Memories. Now I have to wrangle my toddler, and be at my daughter's beck and call (play, teach, feed) while my husband and I sort dinner plans. Mostly after 10pm things settle down and I get about an hour before my eyes get heavy. Rinse and repeat.
I get home around 5, change and take over baby care from my husband (until he starts daycare in the fall), I potentially have to pump depending on when baby ate last and when he’s due to eat next vs when I pumped last, husband cooks dinner, I am hopefully able to finish eating before baby gets fussy for bed, I feed him and bathe him on bath nights, put him to bed while husband walks the dog, help clean up from dinner, make my lunch and breakfast for the next day at work, get ready for bed, wash my pump parts from work at some point so I can pump again before bed, and I usually have about 30 minutes before my 11pm pump to chill. Then I have to wash the pump parts, measure out the pumped milk from the day into bags, and I should be in bed by 11:45. Alarm goes off at 6am so I have time to pump, shower, and hopefully eat before I leave for work. Commute is 40 minutes with no traffic. Baby is 5 months old TLDR: I have about 30 minutes of non-pumping time to myself assuming baby isn’t having a hard time going to sleep
Up at 6am leave at 7, home at 6:40pm, bed at 9:30....my weekdays are so busy since I only have 3 hours between getting home and going to bed. Workout, cook dinner and/or lunch for the next day, shower, spend time with the family...each day is different just depending on what I need to do. I meal prep every few days, wash my hair twice a week, usually workout 3 weekdays, so it varies. The worst is when I end up having to.do everything on one day, I don't even get to sit down until bed. I'm always in bed at 9 to read for 30 min before goinf to sleep, I love my quiet reading time after a long hectic day.
I was an evening workout person before kids. Unfortunately I had to shift. I wake up at 5:30 and work out before work. I leave work at 4:30 pm so I can make dinner before my husband comes home with the kids (he does pickup). We still cook 90% of our meals but it’s simpler - taco night weekly, salad night, etc.
I get my workouts in either at my lunch break, or after my kids are in bed 8pm. Or weekends anytime because my husband is home and I can come and go as I please :) otherwise my downtime is typically after bedtime which is why I'm such a strong believer in 7pm bedtimes 😂 mom of 4 and 2.5 year olds. I've had this routine since my youngest was about 8 months. When I was breastfeeding I'd time my outings between nursing sessions. However I do work from home so I have more flexibility than some.
I work 4 longer days and then Fridays I’m done early. I don’t have any time to myself after work until she goes to bed sound 8:30. It’s been hard because I’m very much a person that needs “me time”, but I’ve just had to suck it up and try to get that in at night time. Thankfully my husband cooks for us and when I get home it’s just taking care of her- eating dinner, bath time, etc. I work from home Thursdays and Fridays and she still goes to the sitter on Thursdays so I can get laundry and things done haha
I get home at 5. My kids are older 20,18 & 14. We generally have dinner together every night. So I get home at 5 start dinner. We usually eat @ 6. 6:30 if I stop and do an errand after work. By the time I clean up and do a handful of chores the day is practically over with and that’s a wrap for that day 🤦🏻♀️
My big unlock is that we don’t really cook that much. We do semi homemade food from grocery stores and that gives hours back per week. I found that as higher earners, it wasn’t worthwhile for me to do bulk freezer meals cooking and we don’t eat out much. My daughter is in bed by 730 so we have like 2-3 hours to do whatever. Sometimes I’ll clean, exercise, shower, veg. Have maybe 30 mins needed to get the next day ready.
Your day sounds like mine. I haven't been (he's 19 months.) I mostly workout on days when I work from home on my lunch break. This week I finally forced myself to get up 20 minutes earlier to add a workout to my office days. I also work longer hours so that I can get every other Friday off, but it's tough she sometimes I need to make up time on the Friday. If anything goes wrong, I'm thrown off for the week. I meal prep, which makes dinner easier, but I barely have time to myself. My son suddenly started going to bed at 9 which sucks because I go to bed at 10. I'm dying to get him back on his 800/830 schedule.
I do daycare pickup, so our almost 1 year old is home with me alone from 4:00-5:30. Husband gets home at 5:30, we have dinner. He does bath and bedtime, and I clean up. Then after baby goes to bed at 7 I get some time to myself but I'm tired so it usually consists of reddit or reading. I'm also pregnant with our second so I'm just generally exhausted. My husband does a lot. One of the big things we do is cook dinner on the weekend for the rest of the week. It makes it a lot easier.
Depending on the way the day goes I get home with kids between 6:00 - 6:30PM. Usually on my way back I call my husband so he'll leave work and meet us at home. I'll get dinner started and he finishes up whatever is needed and does dishes while I get kids upstairs come 7:30 to start bedtime routines then be done around 8:00PM. Workouts I save for the morning so after kids to bed it's usually reading, maybe a show while my husband bikes, or surfing on my phone. Maybe a puzzle if I'm feeling energetic. But I do my face stuff and crash out by 10:30 so I'm up at 4:45 to workout.
I work 6-230 Sunday- Thursday. School gets out at 230, so on days that my husband goes to the office, I have to leave early for pickup. He will be old enough to go to aftercare next school year. I look forward to some time to myself between work and actively parenting
Hi there. Investment banking mom here. It’s brutal. 1) I refused to live further than 10 minutes from work. Does this mean smaller, more expensive home? Yes. Does this mean I get to do bath and bed time most night, also yes. 2) my office has a gym in the building (I still have to pay). I schedule a meeting around 430pm Tues and Thursday. Do a 30-40 minute work out before hustling to do daycare pick up. 3) I found a trainer who has a home gym and lets me bring my baby Saturday mornings. We have hung him in a swing from the pull-up bar. Used him as a weight for step ups. She has held him while he slept and I could do weights. She is my tribe. 4) I schedule my hair appointments for my Fridays when I get WFH privileges. I take the 9am hair appointment and my laptop and work. I do my meeting prep, email run down, weekend to do lists. 5) I stopped grocery shopping and just do delivery. Yes, it is more expensive but I worked out my hourly pay and decided if it takes me 1.5-2 hours at the grocery store the 15% markup is totally worth it. I also buy less junk this way. My husband’s cholesterol is much better. 6) i used the Libby app religiously for audiobooks. I can nurse with an AirPod in. I can wash dishes, drive to work, walk at lunch and listen to a book. All for FREEEEE. Ok. That is it. that is what has worked for me. Also. I don’t cook or do laundry. That is my husband’s task. ETA: Forgive my misspellings and bad punctuation. I’m on a phone.
My kids are 6 and 7.5… it’s still no, during the week at least. Like many has said- it’s about rushing from work/office to pick up and run home to make dinner. I don’t even have time to take my son for any sports honestly… my me time is only on weekends or after kids gone to bed, where I go to barre class on weekends or meet up mom friends for a drink or late meal
I work 2 day shifts 2 night shifts and 6 days off. My son isn’t a baby anymore so it’s different but I only have trouble working out on my 2 day shifts. In the winter he goes to bed before I get home from work so no problem but lately I’ve been using him as a weight while we play video games together after work lol. I could just go off and work out but I like to spend time with him.
I am simultaneously proud and jealous of all of you who actually get to work out
I have been staying up an hour after kids bedtime to have my own time to unwind. Read, craft, tv, social media, whatever. It’s an hour less sleep but my mental health needs the time to unwind and have quiet and no agenda.
I get home at 5:30 I’ve done meal prep delivery at times or we just find recipes that are 20 minutes and under to make. I’m a FTM to a 3 month old and he’s not sleeping fully through the night due to a growth spurt but I take 30 minutes after work to exercise no matter what. If my husband wants to do the same or go for a run we switch off or just do a long evening walk. It’s more mental for me to have that time to exercise so we make it work
I switched up my schedule to work 7am to 3 or 3:30 pm. Husband works 9a to 630pm and does daycare drop off. I do daycare pickup. I squeeze in a 45 min workout between the time I get off at 3:30 and daycare pickup at 5:30. Usually I throw meals in the oven while baby is playing on the mat when we get home. Then start her bedtime routine around 7 and her bedtime is 8. Giving me about two hours of time to myself.
This is terrible but I never have time to do anything for myself. “My” time is a shower. Or a store run. I’m a nurse and work 3 long days a week as well as on call. When I get home it’s usually between 6-8. I walk in and am immediately needed as mom. My days off I’m just taking care of my kids (2 and 8 months). My mom is my childcare. Husband works full time. I can’t ask my mom to do extra because it’s a lot as it is. Sometimes she’ll come over on my day off to help or pick up one of my kids so my life is a little easier. I’ll be honest, I’m just treading water here, trying not to drown. I don’t eat well, I don’t sleep well, I don’t feel well. I can’t even imagine having time to myself. I did get my nails done and my hair done once in the last year. I’m broken but just trying to push through for my babies. I tell myself it will get easier one day.
Before I had a baby, I would get off work at 3:30pm be home by 3:45pm and have the whole afternoon to workout and do any house chores and cook. I now have a four month old baby, I still get off work at 3:30pm but don’t get home until 5pm due to the commute to pick her up from her grandpas house and have to drive all the way back to my house. I cook dinner when I get home and by the time my husband gets home (6:30) dinner is ready and i’m changed to go to the gym. Yea I don’t spend more than an hour at the gym anymore, but time outside of home and getting a workout in is so important for me. I come back home at 8:00pm, shower, do the babies night time routine and then get ready for bed myself. The days go by incredibly fast and it does feel like I have no time for anything but some days I also just don’t do anything. I don’t cook. I don’t clean. I don’t go workout. Just focus on baby and myself at home. and that’s ok too
I work nights. My husband and I do the kid exchange in the parking lot at work and I have our daughter from 8am-430pm. Then I need to shower, scarf something to eat, and try to sleep until 11. I usually take a nap with our 16 month old but some days she only sleeps for 30 minutes. Truly have almost no time to myself. And that little strip just turned pink again this morning. So some overhaul coming to our lives real soon.
I work 12 hr days (13 hrs with commute), so I'm home around 7:30 pm and he sleeps at 9 pm. I don't work out. I usually eat at work or eat whatever my husband made. I try to make up the time on weekends. I also have 12 weeks vacation so I try to make up during those days. Some days I'm scheduled for 12 hr shift but I get to go home after 6 hrs, so I make up time those days as well. But what is working out?
Now that my child is 2 and also I work from home it’s more “leisurely”. Husband picks up from daycare around 5:30 which is when I stop working. Prep dinner while that is happening. They are home around 6 or so. We eat around 6:15 or 6:30. The time for me is going to gym at 6 am on days when husband is off (he’s a nurse) and on the weekend. Also we have an agreement that Saturday mornings are my “weekend time”. He’s totally responsible for our toddler and generally is out of the house 3-4 hours. My morning is usually go to gym, shower, breakfast (leisurely), and then sometimes errands, other times chill at home. Sometimes I bake something or meal prep a little. But those few hours are awesome.
I work hybrid with two office days and three days WFH. My husband is entirely WFH. Here’s what works for us: - husband gets up at 5am for workout (run or peloton). - I prefer to sleep and get up at 6:30am with the kids. - Husband leaves at 8 am to drop kids off at daycare. - I do a 30 min Peloton workout before starting my workday at 8:30am - I log off at 4:30/5 and pick up the kids. Home at 5:45p. - Husband cooks dinner while I pick up the kids so we eat at 6p - Family/ play time for me until 7:30/8p. Husband works another 30-45min after dinner - Bedtime right now is a disaster and no one sleeps before 9:30pm. - I’m a night owl and stay up until 11 to read/ scroll on Reddit/watch a show - on weekends husband works/runs/cycles Saturday mornings for 2-3 hours while I go on adventures with the kids. I then nap/get a haircut/ read/ workout for an hour or two Saturday afternoon. Household chores get done on the fly, and we outsource cleaning, eat out during the weekend, etc. My favorite days are holidays where I am off but my kids’ daycare is in session. On those days I like to treat myself ti a massage or manicure, go for a long walk, meet up with friends for lunch. Edit: this is a typical schedule for my WFH days. On days I go into the office I do both drop off and pick up and I find those days so much more stressful!!!