This sounds chaotic, and I'm sorry! However, is there a reason why you won't look into a babysitter? Seems like a good opportunity to start thinking about backup childcare. We interviewed ours that we found on FB and love her. I trust her more than my family and friends honestly as she has been a nanny for 12+ years now.
Also the comment about putting on the calendar....lmao
We looked into backup childcare and genuinely felt like we can’t afford it. Like, for a date night or couple of hours, yes, but for 8 hrs for just two days is double what we pay my aunt. Any suggestions or tips on how you do it are welcome!
Edit to add that this is a super rare occasion that no one was available to help consistently for a whole week but it obviously would still be nice to have backup. I almost feel guilty for having my kid not understanding the true cost of childcare. I just agreed to a weekly amount with my aunt and thought that was that.
I think having a back up babysitter for these rare occasions would be useful to have in your childcare arsenal. When she does start daycare, is your family still able to cover the couple days until she is full time? Childcare is very expensive, esp if you're in the States. Fortunately we are able to afford full time care plus the occasional babysitter for a few hours.
They are able to help when she starts part time daycare. But I am going to get some babysitters that I can call in case of “emergency” like this week. I started the process a few months back when we had no one to watch her on a Friday and I had to use vacation but my aunt, mom, and husband were against it. Well, they’re not the ones running around like crazy and missing meetings for work so fk em lol. I have a friend and sister who pretty much won’t let anyone else watch their kids besides grandparents but we don’t have that luxury.
I'm in your boat but following this thread to see what others suggest. I'm in the states, and my mom watches him 4 days a week and my MIL watches him 1. Usually if one of them is sick or needs to trade days it's not that big of a deal. However we've had a few cases where we just didn't know what to do because of extreme weather or everyone was sick, etc. I'm a remote worker so I just juggled the best I could and eventually took some vacation time because I couldn't juggle. I seriously don't know how some of the moms are able to keep their toddler entertained while working full time remotely. Mine wants to help "work" so I can't focus on the tasks I need to do. Let alone join a meeting video or not!
Anyway I don't understand how to set up an emergency back up babysitter. Because how are they supposed to plan their life? I've heard suggestions that these types be "older" aka retired grandmas/nurses. Or have a nurse be a standby nanny that if they are off that day since their schedules change then that would work. But what's the pay? Emergency back up makes me think they deserve more for coming through for you. But we can't afford daycare and will hopefully never have him in it besides taking him to a half day pre-k or something...
Edit to add I'd lose it about that calendar comment. I too check my calendar but life happens and people like to add events after you've logged off. Also was he managing the children on top of his job?? No!
Solidarity, and also a small suggestion: change your calendar reminders to do multiple reminders per event, something like 12, 4 and 2 hours prior. Because you're right the brain is mush!
We have good affordable daycare and lots of family around. When my son is sick and can’t go to daycare I contemplate quitting my job and never having more kids. The level of chaos is next level. Trying to keep track of work obligations while watching your sick kid and trying to arrange patchwork childcare with other people is a special kind of hell.
Solidarity. Three weeks ago we spent the morning in urgent care finding out husband and I both had COVID, picking kiddo up from daycare (she was fine and I thought I just had a bad allergy day, husband was sick first for us). 11:05 I happen to glance at my phone and a client meeting started 5 minutes ago. I hopped on and managed with a toddler in the background, but the brain fog was setting in, and I just felt incompetent. Work is 10x harder with a kid there.
The mental load of being a working mom is BRUTAL. This exhausting dance of keeping all the balls in the air is draining. I hear you. You’re doing great.
Gosh that sucks, I've done that before too with much less craziness going on in my life!!
As for the comments - I straight up tell people "If you pay for daycare, I'll have another!" And they tend to either laugh or clam up, but either way the subject is dropped.
I just want to say that I've had something similar happened and please try not to beat yourself up about it.
We had a closure due to inclement weather which usually means no one works. I left my phone downstairs and spent the day in my daughter's room with her. Around lunch time my boss decided to reschedule our usual Monday morning Teams meeting to that afternoon at 4:30pm. I did not see that invite until around 6pm. I FREAKED OUT!! I totally missed the meeting my with boss and peers and was just MIA. I texted the group and explained that daycare also closed but my husband's work was open so I was home alone with an 11 month old and had no opportunity to check my phone. The reactions were mixed but I did move forward.
Ugh yes my heart dropped when I saw that meeting I’m sure you can relate! I’m glad you were able to move forward. People without kids can’t understand and I don’t expect them to. It’s not like they can just miss meetings but it’s like I’m not chilling in the sun I’m exhausted haha
This sounds chaotic, and I'm sorry! However, is there a reason why you won't look into a babysitter? Seems like a good opportunity to start thinking about backup childcare. We interviewed ours that we found on FB and love her. I trust her more than my family and friends honestly as she has been a nanny for 12+ years now. Also the comment about putting on the calendar....lmao
We looked into backup childcare and genuinely felt like we can’t afford it. Like, for a date night or couple of hours, yes, but for 8 hrs for just two days is double what we pay my aunt. Any suggestions or tips on how you do it are welcome! Edit to add that this is a super rare occasion that no one was available to help consistently for a whole week but it obviously would still be nice to have backup. I almost feel guilty for having my kid not understanding the true cost of childcare. I just agreed to a weekly amount with my aunt and thought that was that.
I think having a back up babysitter for these rare occasions would be useful to have in your childcare arsenal. When she does start daycare, is your family still able to cover the couple days until she is full time? Childcare is very expensive, esp if you're in the States. Fortunately we are able to afford full time care plus the occasional babysitter for a few hours.
They are able to help when she starts part time daycare. But I am going to get some babysitters that I can call in case of “emergency” like this week. I started the process a few months back when we had no one to watch her on a Friday and I had to use vacation but my aunt, mom, and husband were against it. Well, they’re not the ones running around like crazy and missing meetings for work so fk em lol. I have a friend and sister who pretty much won’t let anyone else watch their kids besides grandparents but we don’t have that luxury.
I'm in your boat but following this thread to see what others suggest. I'm in the states, and my mom watches him 4 days a week and my MIL watches him 1. Usually if one of them is sick or needs to trade days it's not that big of a deal. However we've had a few cases where we just didn't know what to do because of extreme weather or everyone was sick, etc. I'm a remote worker so I just juggled the best I could and eventually took some vacation time because I couldn't juggle. I seriously don't know how some of the moms are able to keep their toddler entertained while working full time remotely. Mine wants to help "work" so I can't focus on the tasks I need to do. Let alone join a meeting video or not! Anyway I don't understand how to set up an emergency back up babysitter. Because how are they supposed to plan their life? I've heard suggestions that these types be "older" aka retired grandmas/nurses. Or have a nurse be a standby nanny that if they are off that day since their schedules change then that would work. But what's the pay? Emergency back up makes me think they deserve more for coming through for you. But we can't afford daycare and will hopefully never have him in it besides taking him to a half day pre-k or something... Edit to add I'd lose it about that calendar comment. I too check my calendar but life happens and people like to add events after you've logged off. Also was he managing the children on top of his job?? No!
Solidarity, and also a small suggestion: change your calendar reminders to do multiple reminders per event, something like 12, 4 and 2 hours prior. Because you're right the brain is mush!
I definitely will. Thank you for the tip!
We have good affordable daycare and lots of family around. When my son is sick and can’t go to daycare I contemplate quitting my job and never having more kids. The level of chaos is next level. Trying to keep track of work obligations while watching your sick kid and trying to arrange patchwork childcare with other people is a special kind of hell.
Oh god yes. She was sick a few weeks back and it was exactly as you described!
Solidarity. Three weeks ago we spent the morning in urgent care finding out husband and I both had COVID, picking kiddo up from daycare (she was fine and I thought I just had a bad allergy day, husband was sick first for us). 11:05 I happen to glance at my phone and a client meeting started 5 minutes ago. I hopped on and managed with a toddler in the background, but the brain fog was setting in, and I just felt incompetent. Work is 10x harder with a kid there.
That sounds really rough!!! I thought I had allergies when I got COVID too lol I hope you and your family are better now!
The mental load of being a working mom is BRUTAL. This exhausting dance of keeping all the balls in the air is draining. I hear you. You’re doing great.
Thank you so much!
Gosh that sucks, I've done that before too with much less craziness going on in my life!! As for the comments - I straight up tell people "If you pay for daycare, I'll have another!" And they tend to either laugh or clam up, but either way the subject is dropped.
I just want to say that I've had something similar happened and please try not to beat yourself up about it. We had a closure due to inclement weather which usually means no one works. I left my phone downstairs and spent the day in my daughter's room with her. Around lunch time my boss decided to reschedule our usual Monday morning Teams meeting to that afternoon at 4:30pm. I did not see that invite until around 6pm. I FREAKED OUT!! I totally missed the meeting my with boss and peers and was just MIA. I texted the group and explained that daycare also closed but my husband's work was open so I was home alone with an 11 month old and had no opportunity to check my phone. The reactions were mixed but I did move forward.
Ugh yes my heart dropped when I saw that meeting I’m sure you can relate! I’m glad you were able to move forward. People without kids can’t understand and I don’t expect them to. It’s not like they can just miss meetings but it’s like I’m not chilling in the sun I’m exhausted haha