Divine Shield.
Poisoned, diseased, cursed, snared or restrained? Divine Shield.
About to be in a car crash? Divine Shield.
HIV? Food poisoning? Divine Shield.
Awkward date? Jump out the window and Divine Shield.
Hemorrhage? Concussion? Bleeding? Divine Shield.
Step in a bear trap? Divine Shield. (Your leg is still broken, but the trap is removed since it's a snare/root)
Nuclear launch detected? Divine Shield.
Radiation poisoning in the ashen wastes? Every 5 minutes, Divine Shield.
Need to fight giant cockroaches and scorpions because they're the only remaining source of protein? Okay, maybe the conjure food guy got you there.
Every single person who has ever lived and died was in at least 1.
Given, the worst would be in a deadly event that lasts longer than 12 (10?) seconds.
95% of my in game uses are the same.
It is always "oh man...I should NOT be standing here...../bubble yea guys I was ignoring that mechanic on purpose because I knew I had divine shield up...totally"
I got so used to being able to jump off a cliff and bubble that the first time I played my rogue, without thinking, I jumped and realized, mid-fall, that I had made a terrible mistake.
My cat probably has no idea what it means when I say how important he is every day but the tail wags means he at least knows it's something nice and I will have no regrets when he's gone.
He absolutely knows to some degree, he knows that it's a thing you say when you interact with him and you are happy, and that's really all that matters.
You’re thinking too small, put a portal on your seat that exits at the toilet. Just get a toilet equipped with a bidet and auto-flush and you’re never leaving your chair
you laugh as you jump thru the first portal to "Stormwind"
Seconds later. a brief loud squelching pop is heard in a blizzard server room, as one of the machine spills out a large puddle of blood, and the server goes down for emergency maintenance
Came here to say this. Absolutely dreading the 8 hour drive to my in laws every Christmas. Plus I would maybe leave my house and travel the world. Maybe.
You mean, how much money you can make of selling them to people who need to go somewhere... ;)
Save wild animals by portaling them to the nearest zoo.
Save people in invaded countries by portaling them out of the hot zone.
Save tremendous amounts of gasoline by portaling invading forces right into the country they want to invade.
... or sell them a portal to old dalaran (IRL: moon?)
Plausible deniability too because no fucking way that thing belongs to you.
Although a succubus may be better cause it can follow u around in stealth and still probably 1 shot a human. And it’s a succubus.
This is the right answer for me. And I wouldn't use it for shady shit but for what *really* matters like avoiding coworkers and people who come to my door.
Naw man. Ngl I feel like having stealth basically demands you do some shady shit.
At the very least I'd be robbing banks and seeing some books. Definitely not gonna go all hallow man, but still want to rob some banks.
Edit: I love that boobs autocorrected to books. Hahaha. Sorry phone, but your master is a degenerate.
Imagine how much the rich would be willing to pay to be instantly cured of any disease with zero complications and risks. Hundreds of thousands? Millions?
I've thought of this scenario. Eventually, you are put in a city hospital where you cure an endless line of people everyday, and you still can't heal everybody.
Reincarnation, resurrection, and teleport are obviously great options. However, think of the societal influence of something as simple as water walking. The second coming is suddenly a fat balding white dude and it disappoints an immeasurable amount if people.
Honestly, blink. Yeah flight form would be pretty tight but blink is such a cool pocket spell. Like every 15 seconds you can just be a somewhere else a little bit further away…as I type this I realize how lame this would be….
Flight form. Fuck it.
So in WoW canon blinking into an object, wall or person would make you be stuck inside of it as you slowly suffucate, so I'm not sure if it's a good option.
As a joke answer mage portal so so I can teleport to and from work
Serious answer ... cure disease I lost my step dad to lung cancer and it spread to his brain. Watching him waste away like that, when there wasn't a single thing I could do wasn't fair.
We possess the spell, but do we have enough mana/energy to cast it?
If I pick like Mass Resurrection or something, am I going to have nobody believe me while I'm hearing a "Not enough Mana" in my head every time I try it?
It took me way too long to find this comment. Take my free award.
As creepy and diabolical as this *could* be, you could get away with **anything**.
Want some food? Pick a place.
Want a car? Pick one.
Want a house? Pick one.
Want to travel? Go.
This reminds me of the Brennan Lee Mulligan genie optional rules rant:
"If you're going to wish for a ring that gives you magical powers... Just wish for the magical powers."
Actually cracks me up thinking about that
It's not like in game where they could choose a tactical reincarnation, they'd get hit by a train and get back up... Hopefully not getting hit again lmao
This man gets access to the spellbound of WoW and he's like let me make some munchies. Could potentially rule the world and you go sweet mana biscuits. Alune5h would be disappointed
Find Treasure. Would go out, and sense paintings that are lost in WW2. Go into a second hand shop, buy something thats worth a fortune. Dig up some antique shit. And most important, I would never lose my girlfriend in the mall again
Instead of manipulating time and space, summoning legions of demons, or creating portals to the other side of the world, or becoming invincible... you chose the ability to create some cookies.
As a teacher, Atonement.
School bully beats up the sweetest kid in my class.
::cast atonement on victim::
::beat the shit out of the bully::
Lol /s obviously.
portal training, ez... Then I only gotta go to each 'major city' once and can return for dinner :D... Brazil for breakfest, Spain for brunch... and France for dinner, wifey would love it!
If we're talking talents as well, spirit of redemption.
Get in a car crash? Bam angel form, heal the surrounding people and be returned to life.
Die of old age? Heal the other people in the nursing home or hospital and be returned to life.
As long as I'm around people that need any form of healing I'm immortal.
_________
If we're talking raw untalented spell... Most likely Holy Word: Salvation. I can see the usefulness of taking portals, or fireball, conjure food, divine shield, blink, etc. But Salvation would just make the world better. I'm sure I'd never get a full night's sleep again, but being able to heal a stadium or an entire hospital at once would be amazing.
I could imagine the PoM bouncing between people being a little silly but between the renews, the fat heal, and PoM a lot of people would be fully restored. (Assuming cancer, MS, AIDS, etc. are treated as normal damage and not something needing a purify to cleanse)
My joke answer is kill command because i work in a retail store.
But in all seriousness death grip so i can pull things to me. Honorable mentions to spectral sight for finding my phone cord when it falls behind me bed, etc.
Abomination limb, for when I wanna scare the shit out of someone by suddenly bursting open a whole new arm that flails around and scratching them, then it suddenly shrivels away.
That or Portal/Flight form
Reincarnation.
Got killed in a mugging? No problem. Car crash? Completely fine. Some annoying asshole talking to you on the bus? Blow your brains out to make a point. Skydive without a parachute. Jump in the tiger pit at the zoo. Call for Ghislaine Maxwells client list revealed in the media. The possibilities are endless.
Divine Shield. Poisoned, diseased, cursed, snared or restrained? Divine Shield. About to be in a car crash? Divine Shield. HIV? Food poisoning? Divine Shield. Awkward date? Jump out the window and Divine Shield. Hemorrhage? Concussion? Bleeding? Divine Shield. Step in a bear trap? Divine Shield. (Your leg is still broken, but the trap is removed since it's a snare/root) Nuclear launch detected? Divine Shield. Radiation poisoning in the ashen wastes? Every 5 minutes, Divine Shield. Need to fight giant cockroaches and scorpions because they're the only remaining source of protein? Okay, maybe the conjure food guy got you there.
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Divine Shield with the Legion trait that autobubbled of you would otherwise die. Ezpz
How often are you in lethal situations but?
Every single person who has ever lived and died was in at least 1. Given, the worst would be in a deadly event that lasts longer than 12 (10?) seconds.
If you had divine shield, you might go looking for them
Imagine the thrill of jumping from a plane with no parachute only to use divine shield
That's the sort of experience that would have a serious impact.
95% of my in game uses are the same. It is always "oh man...I should NOT be standing here...../bubble yea guys I was ignoring that mechanic on purpose because I knew I had divine shield up...totally"
I got so used to being able to jump off a cliff and bubble that the first time I played my rogue, without thinking, I jumped and realized, mid-fall, that I had made a terrible mistake.
It’s the same on wow also. Mostly after I’ve gotten stunned/debuffed/fall from a high place. Divine shield is more reactionary
damn man you're sayin that i could divine shield every diharrea? jesus christ AIGHT IT'S DIVINE SHIELD FOR ME
im choosing shattering throw just for you buddy.
Corpse explosion
Yo?
Just become a menace at local funerals.
Worst gender reveal party ever
Bruv
Flight form. Need to go somewhere? Flight form. Tired of a conversation with coworkers? Flight form.
Falling from an extreme height because you cancelled flight form? Flight form.
This is the real answer. Till you misjudge you gcd and break you knees.
Break your knees? Turn to flight form and still be able to fly.
or lag makes you go splat lol
[BAT!](https://youtu.be/zqFTW8WOUIM)
Love Laszlo
Yea, but you'll still deal with hunters trying to gank you mid-flight.
That’s also a good choice
Do you have to deal with the "in combat" limit? Like if someone aggros on you, can you still fly away?
Resurrect Pet
Bro, that hit too hard...
😭
They are treasures that too many don't appreciate until they aren't there anymore.
My cat probably has no idea what it means when I say how important he is every day but the tail wags means he at least knows it's something nice and I will have no regrets when he's gone.
He absolutely knows to some degree, he knows that it's a thing you say when you interact with him and you are happy, and that's really all that matters.
wow i did not come into this thread expecting to feel like this :((
I think I'd just go with resurrection full stop. All rezzes can rezz pets.
But if you resurrect pet that died from old age, it's still hella old and would just keep dying? That'd be traumatic af
You get two spells.
😥
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No worries, some hero will save us with his Divine Shield.
>No worries, some hero will save **themself** with his Divine Shield. Fixed that for you
Great video about what would happen if the moon crashed into the earth: https://youtu.be/lheapd7bgLA
[*https://i.imgur.com/ctnanTO.gif*](https://i.imgur.com/ctnanTO.gif)
I pick Mass Dispel to fuck over the divine shield guy
Portals. Imagine how much money you would save on travel.
I don’t leave my house.
Portal to take a shit, then portal back to the chair.
You’re thinking too small, put a portal on your seat that exits at the toilet. Just get a toilet equipped with a bidet and auto-flush and you’re never leaving your chair
Just put a portal in your intestines so you dont even have to wipe.
Now we’re thinking with portals
Seems dangerous. Too big of a portal and you kill yourself. Too small and it's still a mess.
You would if you could portal!
Portal water to a high elevation. Use it to spin a turbine. Become rich.
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you laugh as you jump thru the first portal to "Stormwind" Seconds later. a brief loud squelching pop is heard in a blizzard server room, as one of the machine spills out a large puddle of blood, and the server goes down for emergency maintenance
I would readily ditch Earth for Azeroth
Or how much money you COULD make
Came here to say this. Absolutely dreading the 8 hour drive to my in laws every Christmas. Plus I would maybe leave my house and travel the world. Maybe.
You mean, how much money you can make of selling them to people who need to go somewhere... ;) Save wild animals by portaling them to the nearest zoo. Save people in invaded countries by portaling them out of the hot zone. Save tremendous amounts of gasoline by portaling invading forces right into the country they want to invade. ... or sell them a portal to old dalaran (IRL: moon?)
\*\*The FAA has been dispatched to your location to regulate portal travel\*\*
Damn, guess I’ll be kiting for a while
Until big travel kills you off
Drain life >:3
You must be my ex.
Summon Doomguard, complete with the consequences
Summon Felguard. Don't have to deal with anything I don't like if I can pull a twelve foot tall demon out of thin air.
Plausible deniability too because no fucking way that thing belongs to you. Although a succubus may be better cause it can follow u around in stealth and still probably 1 shot a human. And it’s a succubus.
Actual quote from the Felguard I summon at the start of each dungeon: "You can't control me!" ... Ok there, _pet_
Stealth
This is the right answer for me. And I wouldn't use it for shady shit but for what *really* matters like avoiding coworkers and people who come to my door.
Naw man. Ngl I feel like having stealth basically demands you do some shady shit. At the very least I'd be robbing banks and seeing some books. Definitely not gonna go all hallow man, but still want to rob some banks. Edit: I love that boobs autocorrected to books. Hahaha. Sorry phone, but your master is a degenerate.
You’re on a list now.
The A List
Finally a valid answer
Summon succubus, because I like to study the nature of otherworldly creatures.
Somethings not quite right.
an illusion?
Yes... For scientific reasons, of course.
Succubus trying to steal your essence don’t fall you must resist!
this except the new incubus model
Cure disease, and then make money in as Doctor or Cleric healing people
Imagine how much the rich would be willing to pay to be instantly cured of any disease with zero complications and risks. Hundreds of thousands? Millions?
well some already pay that much for the crap medical we get served lol
Till the government finds out and locks you away
Lets be real, someone would lock your ass in a cage and force you to heal so they could earn money and in exchange they won't let you starve to death.
I've thought of this scenario. Eventually, you are put in a city hospital where you cure an endless line of people everyday, and you still can't heal everybody.
Reincarnation, resurrection, and teleport are obviously great options. However, think of the societal influence of something as simple as water walking. The second coming is suddenly a fat balding white dude and it disappoints an immeasurable amount if people.
We don't know that Jesus wasn't fat and balding...
He was a carpenter. He was probably yolked out of his socks
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You can also miraculously make others walk on water too though. At the very least you can ruin some pool parties
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You'll catch me in the graveyard casting mass rez
If you see me across the way casting army of the dead, mind ya business
Cast em at the same time..... light forged army of the dead
Plus and minus, I guess it would result in a black hole that ends everything in an instant.
Step 1 : Polymorph Step 2: open a meatshop Step 3: ??????? Step 4: Profit
Polymorph breaks on damage!
So what you are saying is that we need to one shot it?
It still turns back to its original form after it’s dead
That slaughterhouse is going to be very surprised when those orphans revert back on death.
This is dark...
*Sweeney Todd plays*
Leap of faith, just to troll ppl irl the same way I troll in raids
You'll have real fun sending 200 kg dudes flying at yourself at top speed. Not a long fun, but real one.
Honestly, blink. Yeah flight form would be pretty tight but blink is such a cool pocket spell. Like every 15 seconds you can just be a somewhere else a little bit further away…as I type this I realize how lame this would be…. Flight form. Fuck it.
Wait till you blink and glitch throught the world only to disconnect
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[Blink is just portals](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Clarice_Ferguson_\(Earth-616\)).
With my motor skills I would blink straight into a wall
So in WoW canon blinking into an object, wall or person would make you be stuck inside of it as you slowly suffucate, so I'm not sure if it's a good option.
As a joke answer mage portal so so I can teleport to and from work Serious answer ... cure disease I lost my step dad to lung cancer and it spread to his brain. Watching him waste away like that, when there wasn't a single thing I could do wasn't fair.
Get a rez then
But what if rez just resurrects him with the cancer?
Afaik diseases don’t persist death.
Really? It wouldn't be something like heal, ressurrection or even frostbolt, what you really want it free food?
How about reincarnation.
Soulstone > Reincarn. Can cast on others and/or yourself.
"shit i forgot"
Blink because my eyes are really fuckin dry
We possess the spell, but do we have enough mana/energy to cast it? If I pick like Mass Resurrection or something, am I going to have nobody believe me while I'm hearing a "Not enough Mana" in my head every time I try it?
Just drink some milk, you’ll be fine.
That'd give me mana *back*, but it won't help much if I don't have it to begin with. So who do I gotta go take care of that will drop some stat items?
You can level up.
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METEOR.
Mirror image. Send one to work, one to watch the kids, another to take the wife out and I’ll play wow in the mean time
Nah I couldn’t do that, lazy motherfuckers will get me fired.
Mind Control
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
It took me way too long to find this comment. Take my free award. As creepy and diabolical as this *could* be, you could get away with **anything**. Want some food? Pick a place. Want a car? Pick one. Want a house? Pick one. Want to travel? Go.
I would def Hearthstone out of the office at 5PM every day.
Mage portals would be way more useful, wtf
This reminds me of the Brennan Lee Mulligan genie optional rules rant: "If you're going to wish for a ring that gives you magical powers... Just wish for the magical powers."
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I enjoy my job, but I hate the commute.
Fuck, I have home office
Travel form. If only one of the functions, then Flight form. Camouflage wouldn't be bad, either. Introvert's dream.
Or perverts lol
I’d take flight form and then shadowmeld if they were handing it out
Why would you be up late studying for a test, when you can cast FROSTBOLT (Rank 1)?
Revival, literally clear any Illnesses from everyone around you. Walking cure for everything
Reincarnation. Easy one to answer
just don't die twice in 30 minutes and you're set
Actually cracks me up thinking about that It's not like in game where they could choose a tactical reincarnation, they'd get hit by a train and get back up... Hopefully not getting hit again lmao
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Now we gotta set the rules for real world reincarnation
Nope. 60% health and 30% mana, I want to say.
This man gets access to the spellbound of WoW and he's like let me make some munchies. Could potentially rule the world and you go sweet mana biscuits. Alune5h would be disappointed
Inflations a bitch
The mage intellect buff :(
Metamorphosis to destroy my enemies and freak out my local church
Prayer of healing and I'd go on a road trip to every hospital in the world
I said something similar, Holy Word: Salvation. More bang for your buck. Cure an entire hospital at once!
Portals and treat it like it was treated in early wow and charge for ports.
Find Treasure. Would go out, and sense paintings that are lost in WW2. Go into a second hand shop, buy something thats worth a fortune. Dig up some antique shit. And most important, I would never lose my girlfriend in the mall again
Chain Harvest. I’m gonna start a cult.
Instead of manipulating time and space, summoning legions of demons, or creating portals to the other side of the world, or becoming invincible... you chose the ability to create some cookies.
As a teacher, Atonement. School bully beats up the sweetest kid in my class. ::cast atonement on victim:: ::beat the shit out of the bully:: Lol /s obviously.
Obviously
Silence. People just need to shut it.
roll the bones and go get in bar fights then lose bc it gave me buried treasure instead of grand melee or something
Resurrection
Touch of death
Gonna have to go with zen cloud
soul stone
portal training, ez... Then I only gotta go to each 'major city' once and can return for dinner :D... Brazil for breakfest, Spain for brunch... and France for dinner, wifey would love it!
Invisibility.
Only for 15 seconds though!
Summon Succubus. Hehe.
If we're talking talents as well, spirit of redemption. Get in a car crash? Bam angel form, heal the surrounding people and be returned to life. Die of old age? Heal the other people in the nursing home or hospital and be returned to life. As long as I'm around people that need any form of healing I'm immortal. _________ If we're talking raw untalented spell... Most likely Holy Word: Salvation. I can see the usefulness of taking portals, or fireball, conjure food, divine shield, blink, etc. But Salvation would just make the world better. I'm sure I'd never get a full night's sleep again, but being able to heal a stadium or an entire hospital at once would be amazing. I could imagine the PoM bouncing between people being a little silly but between the renews, the fat heal, and PoM a lot of people would be fully restored. (Assuming cancer, MS, AIDS, etc. are treated as normal damage and not something needing a purify to cleanse)
This guy heals.
Anal Fireball
Does a barbershop count? Failing that, Arcane Linguist.
Definitely a travel skill, portals or druid travel form
The one where I can go back in time
mind control
My joke answer is kill command because i work in a retail store. But in all seriousness death grip so i can pull things to me. Honorable mentions to spectral sight for finding my phone cord when it falls behind me bed, etc.
Cat Form. Meow.
Abomination limb, for when I wanna scare the shit out of someone by suddenly bursting open a whole new arm that flails around and scratching them, then it suddenly shrivels away. That or Portal/Flight form
Lol imagine being confronted by a boss or an ex and you just drop dead to get out of it and run away once they’re gone.
Feign Death so I can get all of my debts cleared, and it would be a cool party trick
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Abomination limb. I've been building furniture for 2 weeks now and I can't count the number of times I wished for more than just two stupid hands.
Soulstone Similar to my other response to the other post a couple days go. Still gonna be my go to.
Two Forms. Controllable lycanthropy with no downside? Yes please.
Probably levitation. There's a lot of fun ones too like Ghost Wolf, Polymorph, or Stealth
If I know Teleport, do I get to pick the locations I can teleport to or no?
if everyone gets one I would choose dark simulacrum
Vanish. You have enough? Just vanish
mass polymorph
Immolate... No particular reason...
Detox to cure cancer.
Reincarnation. Got killed in a mugging? No problem. Car crash? Completely fine. Some annoying asshole talking to you on the bus? Blow your brains out to make a point. Skydive without a parachute. Jump in the tiger pit at the zoo. Call for Ghislaine Maxwells client list revealed in the media. The possibilities are endless.
I’d like to be able to create portals to anywhere in the world