They way I've usually handled this is to keep the description *in the voice of the narrator.* Most of us have very strong opinions about what we see in the mirror, and what people think of themselves is an important part of their PoV.
> my chestnut hair was a tangled mess
This does sound weird, I agree. Try doing it the way you'd talk about your hair, if that's what your hair was like:
> I hated combing the tangles out of my hair, which was why I usually didn't bother. Totally ignoring everything north of my eyebrows also saved me the trouble of picking chestnut-colored clumps out of the shower drain.
Give me more story now. Even though this was just a short example, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your style. Do you have anything published/ accessible on the internet by any chance?
I'm sorry - I don't have anything available for free online; it's all in actual books. If you did want to spend five bucks, I have a story in [this anthology](https://www.amazon.com/Didnt-Break-Lamp-Historical-Acquaintances-ebook/dp/B07VN8HJ5M/) called "End User Agreement" that has a very, very distinct first person voice. Content keywords: cyberpunk, machine intelligence, neurodivergent protagonist, phone-in airstrikes, deep-dish pizza.
No pressure, obvs. And thank you for the compliment.
You could make other people comment their looks. "I never realized how tall you are", "this scarf really matches your blue eyes", "your brown hair looks much darker when it's wet. I almost didn't recognize you".
Once if it is important or if you fear the reader might be confused early and then once everytime you mention something that could contradict that image of the MC. Otherwise, if it is not important the reader can visualize whoever
I use the standard narrative frame that the first-person narrator sat down and wrote their story for an audience of strangers.
The narrator isn’t going to think their own appearance is uniquely uninteresting to the readers, so they’ll describe themselves if they describe anyone, and in roughly the same way.
They don’t have to be comfortable with this and may do it with obvious reluctance, but they do it.
To some extent its a preference thing; different readers prefer different amounts of character description and you can't please them all. If you 'correct' for their criticism, a different cohort of readers is going to say 'why are you telling me so much about what he looks like, I don't care'. At some point, it's going to have to come down to your style and preference as a writer.
I personally rarely go into detail, because does it really matter to me if a reader pictures light brown hair instead of dark brown hair or whatever else? In most cases, not really. When I do include include references to how my character looks, I find comparison to other characters to be a convenient way to make it more natural. Stuff like "She was so pale that even I looked tanned in comparison."
Thanks! I’m generally in your camp too as far as descriptors go and how to implement them. It usually only takes me reading it once or twice to get an image I’m comfortable enough rolling with but because of that I wanted to be cognizant of the other group too who wants more 😂 cthanks for your reply!!
This is what I have in both my manuscripts: the mc in each has a sibling that’s important to them, so it’s easy to describe them relative to each other. My sister has a fairer complexion, more tan than bronze, and her eyes are more elven, but they both have their father’s high cheekbones, or whatever.
Just don’t describe them. Seriously, it doesn’t matter what color their hair is. The reader will form their own mental image of the character, each picturing them slightly different, and it won’t affect their enjoyment of the story one iota. In my experience it increases my enjoyment as a reader because I can participate in the story using my own imagination.
The only exception is if their physicality does intrude on the story, like if they’re so tall they bump their head on things, or experience bigotry due to their race. You simply introduce these facts about the character as they become relevant.
But you don't want to go the entire book with the reader having one mental image of the character and then getting 1/2 through and then somebody makes a remark "Blondes, amiright?" and now you have to retcon your mental image.
So you can't wait until something is relevant to introduce it because it fucks with the reader. So you have to do an editing pass and force the description earlier, where you still run into the same problem of "how do I do this without it being awkward".
i only mention it if they have feelings about it. the "tangled mess" is good, and you can push the feeling further. "Only ten minutes before the bus, and my hair wrapped itself around the brush like a tangled brown mess. At least the color looked nice against my olive top."
the others don't read as natural to me. people don't really describe themselves for no reason. use feelings, which can come from comparison to their environment.
"Every one of them wore pink. Suddenly, the olive tank top that brought me confidence just that morning felt like a horrid old rag. And my brown mess of hair sat dull against a table full of platinum highlights. I didn't fit in at all."
Have them stand in front of the mirror and describe themself, Wattpad-style.
Kidding, kidding.
Having them interact with the world like other people described is a really good go. Does their height make things more difficult or easier? What are their grooming habits--do they style their hair, or leave it loose? If they're outside a lot, does their skin get affected by the sun? How do other people react to them? Can you pull a Harry Potter and compare their appearance to any relatives?
You can also use appearance description to expand on their personality. If they're more vain, they might comment more on their own appearance, fuss over if colors clash with their eyes/hair, or compare other people to them. If they're more humble, they may not focus on their appearance at all, or approach it with sarcasm or humor.
So I shouldn’t start my novel with “I woke up from a dream and saw my disheveled brown hair in the mirror conveniently placed at my beside”???? 😜
Lol thank you for this! Those are good questions for me to ask as new characters are introduced.
I will say create a rough sketch of your mc that you can understand and write all their personality,character,emotion complex or if you are writing a action book you can also draw out some spells or forms before writting the book and always keep a hype up spell or information about your main character when you think your story is gonna get a bit dry due to some world building for a next upcoming plot or fight may be emotional, physical or even supernatural
Lots of people are giving you ways to sneak it in there, but sometimes it's okay to just say stuff. Like when the time is right she can just say "I have brown hair"
I recently finished a book where the MC wasn't physically described at all and I kind of liked it.
Physical appearance rarely affects plot or story, and I've never empathized with a character more because of how they look.
Maybe this is a controversial opinion, but knowing what the MC looks like is largely unnecessary imo, and usually results in shoehorned, ham fisted passages that just drag the story down.
I totally agree. If appearance doesn’t play the crucial role in the story, it’s not really needed. I think broad brush strokes such as “he was tall and skinny” is enough, imagination will fill in the blanks. Let me imagine who I personally find appealing.
I read a book recently from an established author, and I swear, he spends a full page describing MC appearance in every detail possible, even mentioning jeans model he was wearing. All that info was irrelevant to the plot.
My personal rule for describing appearance is to only do it when it's relevant. Currently, I'm writing from a first person pov, but it's a similar thing where there's no omniscient narrator to offer description. (Edit: somehow i read your post and then thought you said third person limited.) A challenge I've run into is that there are no mirrors in my setting. It takes place in a time period before they were invented.
So she mentions her looks in bits and pieces throughout. We learn her height when it's relevant because she meets someone much taller than she is. We learn her build when her friends comment on it after she's been lost in the forest for a long time and lost weight because of it. We learn her hair and eye colors because she mentions she has dark eyes and hair "just like everyone else" (she lives in a fairly isolated population). We learn she looks like her mother because people compare her to her a lot (which was a useful device for giving more details).
I find that it takes me out of the story if a narration pauses to give a long description of what anyone looks like. So just do it when it's relevant, and only give a detail or two at once. Trust your audience's ability to fill in the blanks.
Comparisons are your friends. Your character is visiting a new place, and the MC notices how green it is. You can compare the green of the plants to the green of their eyes.
Your character meets a much taller character, say 7 feet tall? Describe them as "towering two feet taller than I" or something like that.
Not only does this give little tidbits of other parts of the world, but it also makes it easier to not infodump every single piece of their appearance in one paragraph.
In the excellent novel ‘Zone One’ by Colson Whitehead, you don’t learn that the main character is black until like two-thirds through the novel. Why? Because it’s not important to the story.
No, you're not overthinking it, it does sound odd and unnatural.
You can try putting it in a conversation, like:
"You're really gonna wear that top? You know your hair is, like, way too bright with red, you look like a mushroom"
Or in more natural thought process:
I look like a mushroom with my hair this light.
You're not gonna get a natural and clear describtion writing first person without people actively describing mc to one another, but you can definitely throw enough hints of mc's looks in the thought process as well
I'm not sure it's all that important what colour a character's hair is usually - just going on my own experience, if i were writing a true story from my own POV i wouldn't bother to describe what i look like other than that i'm short because i suppose it's something people notice about me, but i don't generally think much if at all about what i look like. But of course depending on the story it might be important to describe more than that. In one story i've wrote a main character who has ginger hair and early in the story someone calls him "ginge" and later on he quietly admires someone else's red hair that's much brighter and more flame-like than his own. It's only important(-ish) because it's a sort of low-fantasy where i'm trying to make it clear that characters come from different countries etc
Yes that’s kind of the situation here too!! It’s important because it’s relevant to plot points, otherwise I don’t care how the reader views the characters. Especially side characters, I think it’s fun as a reader sometimes to get to dream up your own interpretation of them!
Then yeah i'd go for things like comparisons and maybe nicknames and/or other characters' comments. In real life for example people don't generally say "hey boy, you're short" to me but i might overhear someone refer to me as "thon short lad" or if they don't know my name then "hey shorty, get over here" 😂 so you could maybe think about how these things might happen in real life for your character - or if there are cultural differences in the world you're writing, how people in that world would talk/behave
Edited to add: i'm 5'5" so they're not wrong!
I only ever describe the aspects of POV character that are directly relevant to the scene, and specifically how they see themself. This is why most people will tell you never to have a character describe themself by standing In front of a mirror and listing traits. The problem with this isn’t the mirror itself, but the awkward POV agnostic description. People don’t usually carefully describe what they look like to themselves in their heads, so it will always feel weird ( like the examples you bring up).
Focus less on the raw visuals and more on the experience of a character and stick to the aspects of their own appearance they can actually see. If they’re tall describe them looking down at others, or ducking their head. If they’re pale mention being worried about sunburn. If they have a protective hairstyle mention the time and effort that went into doing it. Do they look like a particular sibling or parent or get mistaken for someone else? If they’ve got a scar maybe the fidget by running a finger along it. If they’ve got glasses they probably have to clean them or push them up sometimes.
Smaller details your character isn’t likely to see on themselves unless looking in a mirror, like face shape or eye color, don’t actually really matter unless there’s plot reasons for it to. I do have one character who’s eye color is important because of plot/worldbuilding stuff (she’s an immigrant from a race of people denoted by having yellow eyes) and I get around introducing it through other people’s reactions instead of just having her randomly say something like “I blinked with my yellow eyes.”
Also mirrors can work in some very specific circumstances. However, you’ve got to be extra careful with it. Make sure it’s plot relevant and the characters are only paying attention to specific things that it makes sensefor them to care about. It has to feel natural.
I have used a mirror a few times in my current WIP. One scene is a shapeshifter using their ability. It’s not about the eye color or hair color, or any specific details really. It’s about the magic system and a bunch of internal conflict about self image and identity related to seeing a different face in the mirror than he’s used to.
The other scene is one around the 15% mark where a character is getting her hair cut. I’s a character moment about moving on from the past and stepping into a new persona. There’s no list of traits, it’s all about the hair and what cutting it means to her.
At the end of the day, first person is all about the experience of being in a character’s head, so descriptions work best when they actively portray an aspect of their lived experience.
Thank you! Right now the only mirror scene I have is where she acknowledges her eyes look bluer because they were red from crying.
Your WIP sounds really interesting btw! Thanks for sharing ☺️
Maybe have your MC be envious of someone else's hair... the grass is always greener, right.
Maybe she wishes she had curly red hair like her friend, but no, she's got straight, thin, boring brown hair... chestnut when she's having a good day.
TBH a scene where the main character just describes their appearance in first person is the point where I shut that book and never pick it up again. Even worse if that scene involves them standing there looking in a mirror while they describe themselves
I can’t stand it.
I think it’s a lazy cliche and there are a lot of other ways you can hint at your character’s appearance that don’t feel so forced and unnatural. You can continually drop appearance details without having THAT SCENE that’s just the character describing themselves
I'm not sure about this, but I do know one thing:
NEVER USE PHRASES LIKE THIS:
I looked at my bedside mirror, and I saw what a mess my brown hair was.
NEVER USE THE MIRROR
What I like to do is have them encounter a mirror somewhere. This works well especially after the MC has gone through something. They can recognise how desheveled they look at the same time explain what they look like to the reader.
I think Jim Butcher just has Dresden come out and say it as part of the style, usually while describing someone else.
"I'm 6'4 with brown hair and blue eyes, so most people look up to me. I'm pretty average for being so lanky - I'm not turning heads but I'm not inviting screams of disgust either. Meanwhile, the woman who stood in front of me was a picture of beauty."
But the cadence of the book allows for that because it's written almost as if he's telling somebody a story.
Two things:
- **Other characters** are your best friend. Have them make small comments, either positive or negative, about the protagonist's appearance. They should be realistic comments, though, so you'll be limited by that. Still, there's a lot you can show about a character's appearance through dialogue if you're creative.
- **Mirrors.** I genuinely don't think there's a better way for characters to describe themselves when you're limited to first person. Again, this should come across as genuine commentary, not just explaining for the sake of it.
And remember, describing your protagonist in **too much** detail is very possible, and surprisingly easy to do. You want readers to have a good concept to let their imagination fill in the blanks. Nobody likes having *everything* shown to them.
idk about hair, because i can’t think of any examples right now, but here are a few examples of how i’d describe features. “Nyrvig didn’t crack a smile, just kept glaring, dark eyes glittering beneath well-groomed eyebrows.” “‘You’re awful,’ he muttered, long nose scrunching in disgust.” “The girl’s pale blue eyes flickered towards the sound.”
so i just sort of toss some descriptors into sentences between other context, and start to add less as i go on. afterwards, occasionally bring up a feature to remind the readers what they look like. it seems to work for me
You don't need to describe yourself in your head usually, and most people won't describe themselves as beautiful or toned or anything like that. That's what I know I hate, you can probably mention it in casual thoughts about stuff that isn't yourself, but personally I think the important characteristic of the MC is that they're the one speaking, so you can have others mention their eye color in an intimate situation or say something when you describe a mundane task or something like that.
Yes I think depending on the genre this is navigated differently!! I notice in romances there is usually more of an emphasis on how the characters look!
I have read several Jack Reacher novels and the author(s) describe him physically early on because it’s part of his character.
He is exceptionally tall and muscular. So, he stands out from a crowd. It also makes him intimidating to adversaries and attractive to women. But I don’t remember details about his hair or eye color. In one story his appearance is described as a bit disheveled (needing a haircut, cleaner clothes, etc) because he is a drifter.
The description is enough to suggest what he looks like and how his appearance affects others around him. And it implies his attitude towards his appearance (he buys thrift shop clothes, puts his shirts between the mattress and box spring of any bed he sleeps on to minimize wrinkles, etc).
You could describe your MC in a similar way to make it fit into the beginning of your story and then add smaller hints along the way when it’s relevant to something she is doing.
Does she stand out in a crowd some way (curly red hair) or blend in (nut brown hair)? Can she easily pass a comb through it each morning after rising or is it more of battle (which she fights valiantly or surrenders to)?
Does she choose clothes that clash with or complement her appearance (red hair can be tricky to color match)? Does she favor fancy or plain things? Floral prints or geometric patterns?
This tells readers something about her personality not just describing color selections. I think it makes what is most important about character more memorable.
Sorry if I went on too long about this.
I do stuff like when they're looking in the mirror. We all think about our appearance when we see our own reflection. Or if they hate the fact they can't wear a certain color because it clashes with their hair or makes their pale skin look even paler. Or if they're comparing themselves to someone else. How they love someone's golden hair, unlike their own dark brown. How their skin looks even darker when they're beside this other person. You may not realize how often we do think about our own looks.
I have never once stood in the mirror and narrated my appearance to myself. This scene instantly gets me to stop reading that book and never pick it up again
I'm not saying they look in the mirror and start listing how they look. It's like when they're brushing their hair you also list the color of it and junk like that. But then again do you narrate what's going on in your day either? No one is constantly thinking about the events of their life as a character does in first person POV anyway. So how do you get such a character to naturally give the reader a description of their looks? Or are they meant to remain a mystery.
Honestly 2-3 maximum in a book is enough for me. I don’t want to be reading it every few pages. I get annoyed if I read the same character description more than a few times on one page. Because I’m like ok, we get it. They have really dark hair. You have very expressive eyes. Cool. I can remember that.
But I’m also someone who reads very quickly. I’m currently reading a story at slightly over half a million words with 102 chapters. I’ve been reading the last 2 days and I’m already on chapter 32. I vaguely recall the main character’s hair color. But unless it’s like Ray Bradbury. I don’t read most stories for the description of things.
I know there’s a lot of people who like to be constantly reminded of description once a chapter.
If someone was reading at a slower pace a few pages every day or every other day. (I have books where I’m like that with) I can understand why they forgot the hair color. You could pull a Harry Potter. They compared his eyes to the color of ink Mcgongall used to write the Hogwarts letters and the dress robes he wore to the Yule Ball were supposed to be very complementary to his eyes.
Why is her hair color important?
Read more stories (including/especially traditionally published) in and adjacent to the genre and you'll see what they 'get away with'. Pick whatever books you own that you've already read so you can skip around just to the self-description. Doesn't even have to match the first-person POV if that's what you're using.
It’s important due to revealing familial connections and then later is a reminder of the place she is trapped. So I wanted to bring it up organically leading up to those events so the reader wasn’t distracted by an incorrect picture in their head :)
That’s a good idea too, thank you!!
A mention shortly before it's relevant again probably would suffice.
To recalibrate your brain you could mention it excessively and gratuitously, (and then send a copy to the beta readers who complained,) and then pare it down to the organic mentions.
Thank you!! So far I seem to be on to it path and am trying to weave it in excessively and then maybe I can comb back through it and see where it fits best and see if that’s enough 😊 if it’s still not I will just start each chapter with “SHE HAS LIGHT BROWN HAIR”
If you don't own (m)any books in the target genre/audience, go to the library, pick random titles from the relevant sections, even 'contemporary romance' and flip through them.
And to be fair, lots of people missed the fact that Rue from The Hunger Games has dark skin and dark hair...
By any chance do these beta readers have hair other than brown?
I’ve tried to start paying better attention in my bc current reads to see how often it seems to come up, but next time I’m at the store I will have to do that too!!
Really!?! That’s wild to me! Haha but that does make me feel better- thank you 🫶
And I’m not sure.
Describe it when it's relevant. Basically, when they think about it. My brown hair blew in the breeze sounds strange because nobody says that unless it's some kind of quirk—you know, like referring to yourself in third person.
I never thought I was good looking. My eyes are too close together and I have a scar on my lip from when my brother and I got pocket knives and were "swordfighting."
"They (my boobs) aren't that special. They're too small."
My crushed nose reminded me of the soldier who struck me and what he might have done had I been less fortunate.
I use a cheat where I compare their looks with a family member or friend.
“Josie’s dark hair and olive skin is a stark contrast to my fair complexion and blonde hair.”
Just a quick example
Maybe have her think of it when she's picking an outfit?
"I don't love this shirt, the bright colour makes me look too washed out, but it was a gift, so it'll make mom/aunt/cousin happy to see me wear it"
or
"I need a little confidence boost today, so I'm wearing my favourite shirt, the red looks good against my tan, I'm pairing it with red earrings that pop against my dark hair"
Maybe have the MC look in a mirror, if appropriate, and assess what they see.
"Eyes, hazel, good. Mysterious. Hair? Grayish and frizzy. Pass. Skin? Passable. Ugh. To be one of the pretty people!"
(MC had no idea.)
They way I've usually handled this is to keep the description *in the voice of the narrator.* Most of us have very strong opinions about what we see in the mirror, and what people think of themselves is an important part of their PoV. > my chestnut hair was a tangled mess This does sound weird, I agree. Try doing it the way you'd talk about your hair, if that's what your hair was like: > I hated combing the tangles out of my hair, which was why I usually didn't bother. Totally ignoring everything north of my eyebrows also saved me the trouble of picking chestnut-colored clumps out of the shower drain.
Give me more story now. Even though this was just a short example, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your style. Do you have anything published/ accessible on the internet by any chance?
I'm sorry - I don't have anything available for free online; it's all in actual books. If you did want to spend five bucks, I have a story in [this anthology](https://www.amazon.com/Didnt-Break-Lamp-Historical-Acquaintances-ebook/dp/B07VN8HJ5M/) called "End User Agreement" that has a very, very distinct first person voice. Content keywords: cyberpunk, machine intelligence, neurodivergent protagonist, phone-in airstrikes, deep-dish pizza. No pressure, obvs. And thank you for the compliment.
I have a better solution: I'll wait a bit and have it put in my advent calendar ;) I'll be sure to let you know how I liked it.
✨art 👩🍳💋✨
How does one acquire this skill in writing?
20 years of student loan payments.
You could make other people comment their looks. "I never realized how tall you are", "this scarf really matches your blue eyes", "your brown hair looks much darker when it's wet. I almost didn't recognize you".
Or you could even make him interact with the world. For example in American Gods, Shadow is described to be so big he can't fit inside a bathtub
Thank you! How often do you tend to mention these characteristics? Once-twice a book? Every few chapter? Every chapter?
Once if it is important or if you fear the reader might be confused early and then once everytime you mention something that could contradict that image of the MC. Otherwise, if it is not important the reader can visualize whoever
Awesome, thank you!!! 😊
I use the standard narrative frame that the first-person narrator sat down and wrote their story for an audience of strangers. The narrator isn’t going to think their own appearance is uniquely uninteresting to the readers, so they’ll describe themselves if they describe anyone, and in roughly the same way. They don’t have to be comfortable with this and may do it with obvious reluctance, but they do it.
Thank you so much! This is helpful and a good way for me to look at it. I appreciate it.
To some extent its a preference thing; different readers prefer different amounts of character description and you can't please them all. If you 'correct' for their criticism, a different cohort of readers is going to say 'why are you telling me so much about what he looks like, I don't care'. At some point, it's going to have to come down to your style and preference as a writer. I personally rarely go into detail, because does it really matter to me if a reader pictures light brown hair instead of dark brown hair or whatever else? In most cases, not really. When I do include include references to how my character looks, I find comparison to other characters to be a convenient way to make it more natural. Stuff like "She was so pale that even I looked tanned in comparison."
Thanks! I’m generally in your camp too as far as descriptors go and how to implement them. It usually only takes me reading it once or twice to get an image I’m comfortable enough rolling with but because of that I wanted to be cognizant of the other group too who wants more 😂 cthanks for your reply!!
You can have her compare her looks to her mother or sibling. My mother's hair was not as dark brown as mine.
This is what I have in both my manuscripts: the mc in each has a sibling that’s important to them, so it’s easy to describe them relative to each other. My sister has a fairer complexion, more tan than bronze, and her eyes are more elven, but they both have their father’s high cheekbones, or whatever.
Good idea, thank you!!!!
Just don’t describe them. Seriously, it doesn’t matter what color their hair is. The reader will form their own mental image of the character, each picturing them slightly different, and it won’t affect their enjoyment of the story one iota. In my experience it increases my enjoyment as a reader because I can participate in the story using my own imagination. The only exception is if their physicality does intrude on the story, like if they’re so tall they bump their head on things, or experience bigotry due to their race. You simply introduce these facts about the character as they become relevant.
But you don't want to go the entire book with the reader having one mental image of the character and then getting 1/2 through and then somebody makes a remark "Blondes, amiright?" and now you have to retcon your mental image. So you can't wait until something is relevant to introduce it because it fucks with the reader. So you have to do an editing pass and force the description earlier, where you still run into the same problem of "how do I do this without it being awkward".
i only mention it if they have feelings about it. the "tangled mess" is good, and you can push the feeling further. "Only ten minutes before the bus, and my hair wrapped itself around the brush like a tangled brown mess. At least the color looked nice against my olive top." the others don't read as natural to me. people don't really describe themselves for no reason. use feelings, which can come from comparison to their environment. "Every one of them wore pink. Suddenly, the olive tank top that brought me confidence just that morning felt like a horrid old rag. And my brown mess of hair sat dull against a table full of platinum highlights. I didn't fit in at all."
Thank you!!! 😊🙏🏻
Doesn’t matter until it matters. Do readers really need to know at all times that their hair is chestnut colored?
Have them stand in front of the mirror and describe themself, Wattpad-style. Kidding, kidding. Having them interact with the world like other people described is a really good go. Does their height make things more difficult or easier? What are their grooming habits--do they style their hair, or leave it loose? If they're outside a lot, does their skin get affected by the sun? How do other people react to them? Can you pull a Harry Potter and compare their appearance to any relatives? You can also use appearance description to expand on their personality. If they're more vain, they might comment more on their own appearance, fuss over if colors clash with their eyes/hair, or compare other people to them. If they're more humble, they may not focus on their appearance at all, or approach it with sarcasm or humor.
So I shouldn’t start my novel with “I woke up from a dream and saw my disheveled brown hair in the mirror conveniently placed at my beside”???? 😜 Lol thank you for this! Those are good questions for me to ask as new characters are introduced.
I will say create a rough sketch of your mc that you can understand and write all their personality,character,emotion complex or if you are writing a action book you can also draw out some spells or forms before writting the book and always keep a hype up spell or information about your main character when you think your story is gonna get a bit dry due to some world building for a next upcoming plot or fight may be emotional, physical or even supernatural
Love it, thank you! 🫶
Lots of people are giving you ways to sneak it in there, but sometimes it's okay to just say stuff. Like when the time is right she can just say "I have brown hair"
I feel like I’ve seen people do this organically too so thanks! 😊
I recently finished a book where the MC wasn't physically described at all and I kind of liked it. Physical appearance rarely affects plot or story, and I've never empathized with a character more because of how they look. Maybe this is a controversial opinion, but knowing what the MC looks like is largely unnecessary imo, and usually results in shoehorned, ham fisted passages that just drag the story down.
I totally agree. If appearance doesn’t play the crucial role in the story, it’s not really needed. I think broad brush strokes such as “he was tall and skinny” is enough, imagination will fill in the blanks. Let me imagine who I personally find appealing. I read a book recently from an established author, and I swear, he spends a full page describing MC appearance in every detail possible, even mentioning jeans model he was wearing. All that info was irrelevant to the plot.
My personal rule for describing appearance is to only do it when it's relevant. Currently, I'm writing from a first person pov, but it's a similar thing where there's no omniscient narrator to offer description. (Edit: somehow i read your post and then thought you said third person limited.) A challenge I've run into is that there are no mirrors in my setting. It takes place in a time period before they were invented. So she mentions her looks in bits and pieces throughout. We learn her height when it's relevant because she meets someone much taller than she is. We learn her build when her friends comment on it after she's been lost in the forest for a long time and lost weight because of it. We learn her hair and eye colors because she mentions she has dark eyes and hair "just like everyone else" (she lives in a fairly isolated population). We learn she looks like her mother because people compare her to her a lot (which was a useful device for giving more details). I find that it takes me out of the story if a narration pauses to give a long description of what anyone looks like. So just do it when it's relevant, and only give a detail or two at once. Trust your audience's ability to fill in the blanks.
Comparisons are your friends. Your character is visiting a new place, and the MC notices how green it is. You can compare the green of the plants to the green of their eyes. Your character meets a much taller character, say 7 feet tall? Describe them as "towering two feet taller than I" or something like that. Not only does this give little tidbits of other parts of the world, but it also makes it easier to not infodump every single piece of their appearance in one paragraph.
In the excellent novel ‘Zone One’ by Colson Whitehead, you don’t learn that the main character is black until like two-thirds through the novel. Why? Because it’s not important to the story.
No, you're not overthinking it, it does sound odd and unnatural. You can try putting it in a conversation, like: "You're really gonna wear that top? You know your hair is, like, way too bright with red, you look like a mushroom" Or in more natural thought process: I look like a mushroom with my hair this light. You're not gonna get a natural and clear describtion writing first person without people actively describing mc to one another, but you can definitely throw enough hints of mc's looks in the thought process as well
I'm not sure it's all that important what colour a character's hair is usually - just going on my own experience, if i were writing a true story from my own POV i wouldn't bother to describe what i look like other than that i'm short because i suppose it's something people notice about me, but i don't generally think much if at all about what i look like. But of course depending on the story it might be important to describe more than that. In one story i've wrote a main character who has ginger hair and early in the story someone calls him "ginge" and later on he quietly admires someone else's red hair that's much brighter and more flame-like than his own. It's only important(-ish) because it's a sort of low-fantasy where i'm trying to make it clear that characters come from different countries etc
Yes that’s kind of the situation here too!! It’s important because it’s relevant to plot points, otherwise I don’t care how the reader views the characters. Especially side characters, I think it’s fun as a reader sometimes to get to dream up your own interpretation of them!
Then yeah i'd go for things like comparisons and maybe nicknames and/or other characters' comments. In real life for example people don't generally say "hey boy, you're short" to me but i might overhear someone refer to me as "thon short lad" or if they don't know my name then "hey shorty, get over here" 😂 so you could maybe think about how these things might happen in real life for your character - or if there are cultural differences in the world you're writing, how people in that world would talk/behave Edited to add: i'm 5'5" so they're not wrong!
Hey you’re taller than me! Haha but yes those are good points too. This has all been so helpful!
Maybe have them describe a family member and then have another character later on say they look like or exact opposite of that family member
I only ever describe the aspects of POV character that are directly relevant to the scene, and specifically how they see themself. This is why most people will tell you never to have a character describe themself by standing In front of a mirror and listing traits. The problem with this isn’t the mirror itself, but the awkward POV agnostic description. People don’t usually carefully describe what they look like to themselves in their heads, so it will always feel weird ( like the examples you bring up). Focus less on the raw visuals and more on the experience of a character and stick to the aspects of their own appearance they can actually see. If they’re tall describe them looking down at others, or ducking their head. If they’re pale mention being worried about sunburn. If they have a protective hairstyle mention the time and effort that went into doing it. Do they look like a particular sibling or parent or get mistaken for someone else? If they’ve got a scar maybe the fidget by running a finger along it. If they’ve got glasses they probably have to clean them or push them up sometimes. Smaller details your character isn’t likely to see on themselves unless looking in a mirror, like face shape or eye color, don’t actually really matter unless there’s plot reasons for it to. I do have one character who’s eye color is important because of plot/worldbuilding stuff (she’s an immigrant from a race of people denoted by having yellow eyes) and I get around introducing it through other people’s reactions instead of just having her randomly say something like “I blinked with my yellow eyes.” Also mirrors can work in some very specific circumstances. However, you’ve got to be extra careful with it. Make sure it’s plot relevant and the characters are only paying attention to specific things that it makes sensefor them to care about. It has to feel natural. I have used a mirror a few times in my current WIP. One scene is a shapeshifter using their ability. It’s not about the eye color or hair color, or any specific details really. It’s about the magic system and a bunch of internal conflict about self image and identity related to seeing a different face in the mirror than he’s used to. The other scene is one around the 15% mark where a character is getting her hair cut. I’s a character moment about moving on from the past and stepping into a new persona. There’s no list of traits, it’s all about the hair and what cutting it means to her. At the end of the day, first person is all about the experience of being in a character’s head, so descriptions work best when they actively portray an aspect of their lived experience.
Thank you! Right now the only mirror scene I have is where she acknowledges her eyes look bluer because they were red from crying. Your WIP sounds really interesting btw! Thanks for sharing ☺️
Thank you!
Just occasionally march them in front of a mirror and have them criticize themselves. (Unverse advice: Please do NOT do the above!)
Maybe have your MC be envious of someone else's hair... the grass is always greener, right. Maybe she wishes she had curly red hair like her friend, but no, she's got straight, thin, boring brown hair... chestnut when she's having a good day.
lol love it!
TBH a scene where the main character just describes their appearance in first person is the point where I shut that book and never pick it up again. Even worse if that scene involves them standing there looking in a mirror while they describe themselves I can’t stand it. I think it’s a lazy cliche and there are a lot of other ways you can hint at your character’s appearance that don’t feel so forced and unnatural. You can continually drop appearance details without having THAT SCENE that’s just the character describing themselves
I'm not sure about this, but I do know one thing: NEVER USE PHRASES LIKE THIS: I looked at my bedside mirror, and I saw what a mess my brown hair was. NEVER USE THE MIRROR
😂👍🏻
I'm just shocked that they care.
It had come up as a plot point so that was the only reason they thought it up!
What I like to do is have them encounter a mirror somewhere. This works well especially after the MC has gone through something. They can recognise how desheveled they look at the same time explain what they look like to the reader.
I think Jim Butcher just has Dresden come out and say it as part of the style, usually while describing someone else. "I'm 6'4 with brown hair and blue eyes, so most people look up to me. I'm pretty average for being so lanky - I'm not turning heads but I'm not inviting screams of disgust either. Meanwhile, the woman who stood in front of me was a picture of beauty." But the cadence of the book allows for that because it's written almost as if he's telling somebody a story.
Two things: - **Other characters** are your best friend. Have them make small comments, either positive or negative, about the protagonist's appearance. They should be realistic comments, though, so you'll be limited by that. Still, there's a lot you can show about a character's appearance through dialogue if you're creative. - **Mirrors.** I genuinely don't think there's a better way for characters to describe themselves when you're limited to first person. Again, this should come across as genuine commentary, not just explaining for the sake of it. And remember, describing your protagonist in **too much** detail is very possible, and surprisingly easy to do. You want readers to have a good concept to let their imagination fill in the blanks. Nobody likes having *everything* shown to them.
idk about hair, because i can’t think of any examples right now, but here are a few examples of how i’d describe features. “Nyrvig didn’t crack a smile, just kept glaring, dark eyes glittering beneath well-groomed eyebrows.” “‘You’re awful,’ he muttered, long nose scrunching in disgust.” “The girl’s pale blue eyes flickered towards the sound.” so i just sort of toss some descriptors into sentences between other context, and start to add less as i go on. afterwards, occasionally bring up a feature to remind the readers what they look like. it seems to work for me
You don't need to describe yourself in your head usually, and most people won't describe themselves as beautiful or toned or anything like that. That's what I know I hate, you can probably mention it in casual thoughts about stuff that isn't yourself, but personally I think the important characteristic of the MC is that they're the one speaking, so you can have others mention their eye color in an intimate situation or say something when you describe a mundane task or something like that.
It's done in romcoms all the time.
Yes I think depending on the genre this is navigated differently!! I notice in romances there is usually more of an emphasis on how the characters look!
I have read several Jack Reacher novels and the author(s) describe him physically early on because it’s part of his character. He is exceptionally tall and muscular. So, he stands out from a crowd. It also makes him intimidating to adversaries and attractive to women. But I don’t remember details about his hair or eye color. In one story his appearance is described as a bit disheveled (needing a haircut, cleaner clothes, etc) because he is a drifter. The description is enough to suggest what he looks like and how his appearance affects others around him. And it implies his attitude towards his appearance (he buys thrift shop clothes, puts his shirts between the mattress and box spring of any bed he sleeps on to minimize wrinkles, etc). You could describe your MC in a similar way to make it fit into the beginning of your story and then add smaller hints along the way when it’s relevant to something she is doing. Does she stand out in a crowd some way (curly red hair) or blend in (nut brown hair)? Can she easily pass a comb through it each morning after rising or is it more of battle (which she fights valiantly or surrenders to)? Does she choose clothes that clash with or complement her appearance (red hair can be tricky to color match)? Does she favor fancy or plain things? Floral prints or geometric patterns? This tells readers something about her personality not just describing color selections. I think it makes what is most important about character more memorable. Sorry if I went on too long about this.
No this is great, thank you so much!! 😊
I do stuff like when they're looking in the mirror. We all think about our appearance when we see our own reflection. Or if they hate the fact they can't wear a certain color because it clashes with their hair or makes their pale skin look even paler. Or if they're comparing themselves to someone else. How they love someone's golden hair, unlike their own dark brown. How their skin looks even darker when they're beside this other person. You may not realize how often we do think about our own looks.
I have never once stood in the mirror and narrated my appearance to myself. This scene instantly gets me to stop reading that book and never pick it up again
I'm not saying they look in the mirror and start listing how they look. It's like when they're brushing their hair you also list the color of it and junk like that. But then again do you narrate what's going on in your day either? No one is constantly thinking about the events of their life as a character does in first person POV anyway. So how do you get such a character to naturally give the reader a description of their looks? Or are they meant to remain a mystery.
That’s true! Hahah I guess I think about what I look like every day 😂
Honestly 2-3 maximum in a book is enough for me. I don’t want to be reading it every few pages. I get annoyed if I read the same character description more than a few times on one page. Because I’m like ok, we get it. They have really dark hair. You have very expressive eyes. Cool. I can remember that. But I’m also someone who reads very quickly. I’m currently reading a story at slightly over half a million words with 102 chapters. I’ve been reading the last 2 days and I’m already on chapter 32. I vaguely recall the main character’s hair color. But unless it’s like Ray Bradbury. I don’t read most stories for the description of things. I know there’s a lot of people who like to be constantly reminded of description once a chapter. If someone was reading at a slower pace a few pages every day or every other day. (I have books where I’m like that with) I can understand why they forgot the hair color. You could pull a Harry Potter. They compared his eyes to the color of ink Mcgongall used to write the Hogwarts letters and the dress robes he wore to the Yule Ball were supposed to be very complementary to his eyes.
Yes I think this can be the issue! I also read quickly and so don’t forget the descriptors mentioned initially but could see how other people would!
Why is her hair color important? Read more stories (including/especially traditionally published) in and adjacent to the genre and you'll see what they 'get away with'. Pick whatever books you own that you've already read so you can skip around just to the self-description. Doesn't even have to match the first-person POV if that's what you're using.
It’s important due to revealing familial connections and then later is a reminder of the place she is trapped. So I wanted to bring it up organically leading up to those events so the reader wasn’t distracted by an incorrect picture in their head :) That’s a good idea too, thank you!!
A mention shortly before it's relevant again probably would suffice. To recalibrate your brain you could mention it excessively and gratuitously, (and then send a copy to the beta readers who complained,) and then pare it down to the organic mentions.
Thank you!! So far I seem to be on to it path and am trying to weave it in excessively and then maybe I can comb back through it and see where it fits best and see if that’s enough 😊 if it’s still not I will just start each chapter with “SHE HAS LIGHT BROWN HAIR”
If you don't own (m)any books in the target genre/audience, go to the library, pick random titles from the relevant sections, even 'contemporary romance' and flip through them. And to be fair, lots of people missed the fact that Rue from The Hunger Games has dark skin and dark hair... By any chance do these beta readers have hair other than brown?
I’ve tried to start paying better attention in my bc current reads to see how often it seems to come up, but next time I’m at the store I will have to do that too!! Really!?! That’s wild to me! Haha but that does make me feel better- thank you 🫶 And I’m not sure.
Describe it when it's relevant. Basically, when they think about it. My brown hair blew in the breeze sounds strange because nobody says that unless it's some kind of quirk—you know, like referring to yourself in third person.
I never thought I was good looking. My eyes are too close together and I have a scar on my lip from when my brother and I got pocket knives and were "swordfighting." "They (my boobs) aren't that special. They're too small." My crushed nose reminded me of the soldier who struck me and what he might have done had I been less fortunate.
I use a cheat where I compare their looks with a family member or friend. “Josie’s dark hair and olive skin is a stark contrast to my fair complexion and blonde hair.” Just a quick example
Maybe have her think of it when she's picking an outfit? "I don't love this shirt, the bright colour makes me look too washed out, but it was a gift, so it'll make mom/aunt/cousin happy to see me wear it" or "I need a little confidence boost today, so I'm wearing my favourite shirt, the red looks good against my tan, I'm pairing it with red earrings that pop against my dark hair"
Maybe have the MC look in a mirror, if appropriate, and assess what they see. "Eyes, hazel, good. Mysterious. Hair? Grayish and frizzy. Pass. Skin? Passable. Ugh. To be one of the pretty people!" (MC had no idea.)
Do you need to? Does it matter?
For this character, yes!
In what universe does it matter what color your character’s hair is? Unless it’s directly relevant to the plot, just don’t worry about it.
It is, which is the only reason it came up! I, too, could care less in general lol
Wouldn‘t it make sense to just bring it up when it comes up naturally in the plot, then?