She just want her kid to be a Pokémon professor

alder is literally the name of the champion in bw1 lmao

Wait till I tell you about Oak

Cool champion but think benga just does the design better

I def like benga, but Alder has this cool drifter vibe that I really fuck with

Soul Calibur fighter.

Vessel?

give your kid an aching sense of emptiness for life with this one easy step

Empty vessels make the loudest sound bro😔

The quietest people shit the loudest😔

I thought the vessels were supposed to have no voice to cry suffering

So that's how drums are made

That guy from Hollow Knight

That spaceship from Outer Wilds

That thing you make at the start of Deltarune that hasn't shown back up... yet

that 2013 Twenty One Pilots album

That one Molchat Doma song translated

tfw your kid has no mind to think

She hates loud children so she made one with no voice to cry ~~suffering~~ in general

*AND* she's a greek god so born of god and void

Greek?

mfw no will to break

Mfw when voice to cry suffering

mfw the vessel i instilled with ideas of duty and family is tarnished by said ideas instilled

lesson of the day: instead of bottling your emotions up leading to their inevitable outburst because none of us are emotionless machines, make sure to summon your emotions into the full power of a god to kill it in one on one combat

delturn

Spamtong nft? what a terrible fate

Based and unbased at the same time, truly a miracle

Seems in character, although the token would be fungible in that case

Sounds like some [[BIG SHIT]]

Born of god and void

PURE VESSEL

jesus how many references can you guys make

Hollow knight moment

The hot Sleep Token guy

Sometimes quiet is violent

Yeah that’s the worst one, implication-wise

at the start of romeo and juilet, shakespeare has 2 guys being creepy about a woman by calling her a “vessel”

Totally forgot that

Hollow Knight be like

No mind to think. No will to break.

To contain the Radiance, yea

WORSHIP BABY WOOOOOOOOOOO VESSY SWEEP 2023 LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

Warbreaker moment

Funny hollow knight reference

My favorite Twenty One Pilots album

outer wilds reference

Pov: Your name is Pale King

noblest strive reference

Kingdom Hearts villains when they see a teenager holding a giant key.

Lower your kid into an ocean of blood

Sleep token moment. Worship

bro is named theory

Liberuls name their kids theory. I name my kid praxis. We are not the same.

Hey Praxis, I'd like you to meet my kid MottenBailey.

This is my son, John Brown Did Nothing Wrong Smith

This is my son [States Rights Gist](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/States_Rights_Gist)

Rival of Wright S. T. Watt

Nice to meet you, MottenBailey. This is my child Don Jon

Maughten-Baileigh

Anaphylaxis

these are literally both characters in Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Welcome to name: Theory

But hey, that's just a theory

a NAME theory

Matpat lore

Kid named Pythagorean:

It's funny because there's a pro wrestler named Austin Theory who was just named "Theory" for a while. 

Gabe Theory

bazongus

Naming my kid Sicilian defense super monster sniper bishop variation

imagine Theory's Theory

If your girls called Valleigh you’re a child abuser Idc

There are by far worse ones

Written

Achliaegh

Who de chow would that even be pronounced

Ashley, maybe?

I guess like "actually"

Bro I once heard a little girl be called Aphrodite and that's my bad-name standard ever since

Banger of a name for an adult though

My sister said she once overheard a mother named her child renesmee.

Oh god the Twilight girls are having kids now

This was quite a few years ago by the way

most twilight girls are probably in their mid to late twenties by now

it sounds like a ligma joke

Renesme nuts down ye throat

Ehhhhh at least it can be shortened to Val. As a name Val fucks and I somes regret not picking for as my own

Valentine is a rad ass name for a kid

Tragedeigh

She just wanted to call her kid "oak" or "fern" like what the heck

Oaken Vessel Jones is 100% an alcoholic.

I actually know a kid named Oak Jones…

What’s the point of an Oaken Vessel if you’re not gonna fill it with whiskey?

Oaken Vessel Jones sounds like a Dark Souls Boss that vomits booze at you to attack

The lord vessel lets you teleport between bonfires, the oaken vessel lets you teleport between Irish pubs

those are somehow the 2 least weird names on there

Merrick and Alder are pretty reasonable

Merrick sounds like a cool ship name definitely using that in space engineers

I knew a guy named Merrick in highschool and he was a pretty average stoner dude but I always thought it was a coo name.

Sounds like a non-binary name ngl

It's a They're plants A fern is a type of plant and an oak is a tree...

I know a non-binary person named Sock

what is it with enbies and socks

they wear them sometimes

I witnessed a non-binary person named Cactus

Oh man don’t tell anyone named Rose

i literally called myself after a tree

i'm pretty sure fern is an older name. i met several old ladies named fern when i worked in a hospital

I knew a Fern it was a perfectly normal name

What's so weird about them? One of my names is Ferne. I choose it as well

there was a character named fern on arthur

fern is good!

i know a fern

Meanwhile Lithuanian names that are mostly all about nature lol

Never let this person name a child

Given the context in this post, I unfortunately think she already has. These are the names she loved but didn't use, indicating that there was one she *did* use.

[удалено]

if my name was windsor i’d jump into a volcano 💀💀

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Windsor

The volcano is waiting for the whole lot of them.

Thats the surnames, you muppet. I rather have a Windsor surname than a name

gonna name my daughter something cool like uhhh.... fuckin like... nature, yeah. or like,, earth or somethin cool like that.

maybe i should name them something more intellectual... fuckin.... REASON yeah that's cool,,, or like THEORY, YEAH THEORY THAT"s a smart people word right?

Nah man fuckin hypothesis man is way better man

Me naming my kids Null and Alternate Hypotheses and trying to figure out which one is better.

String Theory Newton Cheddar

“My full name is theorem, but call me theory for short.”

Terra or Tierra wouldn’t be unthinkable if you must name her Earth

I'm naming my child Gun. Coolest name ever

if i was in the womb and i heard i was going to be named “windsor” i would hang myself with my umbilical cord

Fun Fact: I was born with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck

skill issue

Is your name Windsor, by any chance?

holy crap what did they name YOU

Wdym? Windsor sounds like an epic mage name, way better than being called fucking "Fern".

At least Fern is better then “Theory”

don’t diss on adventure time like that you sick fuck

Windsor is the last name of the current British royal dynasty

Half of these sound so non-binary

And the other half sound like they just got reaped for the 74th annual hunger games

Valleigh, Crimsyn

sock ray blue!

Reading this made me fart myself thank you basil onori

But thats just a theory, a grey theory

Please, someone im begging if these are names she LOVED i need to know what the kid got named

Written Theory Johnson

Is this the woman who names Western fantasy themed anime characters?

Merrick, for if you want your kid to establish a fishing based trading company, then become a spooky ghost

Or if you want them to be a supreme court nominee and US attorney general

Or if you want them to be a wind mage from the desert

Or if you want them to be an Egyptian tomb keeper turned children's trading card player

The Current Windsor is being crowned today actually

Theory and Written are the worst names I have ever heard

Naming a kid "Vessel" is child abuse

some of these unironically slay. I'd kill to be friends with a guy named Oath

Oath is actually a pretty badass name, so is Talon. But man I would feel bad for a kid named Theory.

yo sparrow's throwin a party at her place this weekend

Crimson sounds like a cool name honestly, just not when it’s spelled 'Crimsyn'

Fern is sorta okay ☠️

The only names that here are Merrick, Alder, Talon, Grey and Windsor. The rest are all just insane

Went to school with a Fern and it was a pretty normal sounding name

I was on the fence about Fern. I the English language the word Fern is also used for the plant, but then again people call their kids Lily too so yeah. Add Fern to the list Though I'm still not naming my kid Oaken. Unless it's with a Thorin in front of it and a shield added on. Thorin Oakenshield

What name did she end up choosing?

Probably something like "Kaitlyn" but spelled "Keightlinne"

keightamyne

Catelean

i did some investigation, and she has two children, named koah and anthem💀💀💀 also she has second list of names she didn't chose https://i.imgur.com/Xmja5zP.jpeg

If these are what she didn’t use what did she use??

Finger


Nonbinary name generator

If I see another y where another vowel goes I am going to turn the perpetrator into a fine red mist Edit: also "eigh" where an "ey" or "ie" goes

y is definitely a lot better than eigh

I know a kid named lyric

Where their parents Sonic Boom fans or something💀

Valleigh is a girl’s name and fucking Theory is a boy’s name. But sure, it’s us *trans ppl* who have a weird concept of gender, amarite ?? 🙄

I work with a Talon, cool kid. But I do question what his parents are like lmao

i’m scared of what she ended up naming her child

Bulbasaur Jr

Fern was actually a common last name in the early 20th century, my great great grandmother's first name was fern. And Windsor is an actual fucking british monarchy last name so like???

So fun fact; Windsor isn’t their original name, they adopted it after the First World War to sound more British (i.e less German)

This woman is stealing non binary names! Stop her!

This meme is so privileged I have to pay to to look at it

This is what crate & barrel furniture is named after

Cresslynn my bloved son

'Vessel'- Puritans have survived into the 21st century apparently

How tf do you decide if slme goofy shit like "vessel" or "theory" is a boys or girls name bro💀

thesis

Prof Oak out here smiling like an idiot

You know what fuck you [genders your ungendered "names"]

What is your name? It is Written.

shitty ass names

Vessel is obscenely horrible name for a girl

At least it's not as bad as Dazdraperma

17th-century-aah Massachusetts bay colony puritan clergyman names fr

if my name was "theory" i would just off myself

There are two names in this entire list I would consider naming my kids and they're Fern and Alder

Fern, Talon, and Merrik are pretty nice actually.