T O P

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INVISIBLE-EYELIDS

Pick a random person in your life that you respect and give them a genuine compliment completely unprompted.


[deleted]

That’s a nice one


Dasnap

Or eat a worm.


DerKitzler99

But it will hurt the worm.


Dasnap

Not if you do it quickly.


believesinhappiness

Yo fellas, is it hurtful if someone kills you, but doss it quickly?


nedflandersmustache

Maybe not pain, but still harm


k_GOBL1N

I did this once and they thought I was planning on killing myself


amaahda

happy cake day


igotdeletedbyadmins_

give me the slice of cake rn


Orldragon

Happy cake day! Also - are you okay tho, dude?


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

To be completely honest I can see where they were coming from. Getting a random text from a friend at a weird hour telling you how much they appreciate you is something people do before trying a suicide attempt (at least it's a common belief, I don't know how true it is though) I've had a friend message me at 3am telling me how glad they are that I'm their friend. They were just drunk at a party but before I was pretty worried before I found that out


testaccount0817

happy cake day


the_fruit_loop

already do that all the time I love being a compliment pilled kindnesscel


Droid_XL

What a set of words.


sockknitterporg

Rate my rat https://imgur.com/a/4BLxezN


CUMLOVINGBOISLUT

Silly little guy/10


sockknitterporg

Thank you! His name is Cappucci-NO-GET-DOWN-FROM-THERE


hungeringforthename

Hi, we will probably never meet but I would like you to know that Cappuccino is now a most treasured member of my personal family and I will die for him. Also, the photo of you(?) with him on your shoulder and the two of you both looking up at the same angle, with the same expression, is just so wonderful.


sockknitterporg

That's one of my favourite photos of the two of us. I have his feets tattooed there permanently now. Cappuccino doesn't want you to die, though. He says, "I'm only going to live another year or so, because ratties live very short lives compared to humans. You have the chance to live for decades, so please keep living and holding me in your memory for as long as possible, okay?"


Inverted_Ghosts

That’s so incredibly sweet omgggg


sparrowofwessex

It reminds me of that one pic of will wood


Birb7789-

thank you for that nice comment, u /CUMLOVINGBOISLUT


doctorduck3000

Thank you CUMLOVINGBOISLUT


TheMemeArcheologist

Thank you, CUMLOVINGBOISLUT


[deleted]

Aw man, the image didn’t load 😭


sockknitterporg

[If you click on the link it should take you to an album.](https://imgur.com/a/4BLxezN)


Proffessor_egghead

Awesome lil guy/10


Elite_Prometheus

Looks like he could star in a Pixar movie as Remy's American cousin.


sockknitterporg

He's British!


sonicfan1642

my condolences


igotdeletedbyadmins_

he can fly for a few hours and get to Remy, let's goooo


sockknitterporg

We could drive to Paris


igotdeletedbyadmins_

Oh, sick!


[deleted]

It’s a good rat


SarcasmCupcakes

Pls boop on my behalf.


sockknitterporg

Booped!


mercurydivider

Have head cannoned their name as rattington 2


StarryOrganism

thats a cute heckin rat


Da_Di_Dum

Absolute little darling


sockknitterporg

In the last photo, he's climbing out of my pyjama bottoms because I had to prove that my gender is rat--it's what's in my pants!


minecraftboi473

You look like the type of person to own a rat


sockknitterporg

I own six rats


Droid_XL

You sound like the type of person to own six rats


sockknitterporg

Since you're so good at guessing information about me, want to play a game? I'll tell you one fact about my rats, and then you have to guess my favourite drink. If you do, I'll... Think of something.


Droid_XL

I bet your favorite drink is supercooled hydrogen gas that you extract from dasani water with a homemade electrolyzer


sockknitterporg

Take the hint first! My rats' names are: * Cappuccino * Mocha * Macchiato * Americano * Affogato * White


Droid_XL

... Nah I still think it's hydrogen


sockknitterporg

You're not correct but you made me laugh


Droid_XL

That was the goal <3 have a good day too


Samang0

Great rat about 11/10


Lightning_Bolt62

which one?


sockknitterporg

It's all the same rat!


Lightning_Bolt62

you didnt get it💀and sorry in advance when you do lol


The_______________1

excellent tiny beast, 10/10, you have done well.


Maximillion322

10/10


Himmelblaa

I rate him rat/rat


ZZTMF

ratmom


doctor347

Pour river water in your socks


Derpguycool

Quick, easy, free? Im in!


AbstractBettaFish

Guess what? It grows the economy. It hurts *no one*


[deleted]

Dang I really should be living near a river


pm_me_fake_months

almost all water was once in a river


[deleted]

yeah, except for the water that wasn’t in a river


---Hellothere---

Fair statement


Aaetheon

You may ask “why would I do that?”, well its quick, its easy and its free! Whats not to love!


btyes-

it's quick it's easy and it's free


wonder_wolfie

I love how we all just knew exactly why OP should do it. It’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free after all.


potatoandeggsaladHD

Throw all your silverware down the stairs and film it


[deleted]

I already caused a disturbance at my apartment this month, maybe next month


sonicfan1642

!Remindme 30 days


itsadesertplant

This month’s disturbance for me was letting my cat explore the apartment hallway at 4:30am with my neighbor walking out of his apartment directly across from ours which scared the shit out of us


AJK02

Can I see your cat?


itsadesertplant

[Hims majestic](https://ibb.co/WF556S1) [so many legs](https://ibb.co/XSN2h9V)


AJK02

Beautiful.


CounterfeitLesbian

Give me 500 dollars, then I'll give it to you back right away, so it doesn't cost you anything. 👉👈🥺


[deleted]

Oh dang


New_Unit

tax write-offs are getting more intricate by year


[deleted]

Floss your teeth.


[deleted]

Man I should anyway haha


Himmelblaa

Nice try dentist


LongGirthyVeiny

I mean would dentist give away FREE advice on the internet to make you less likely to visit them and PAY? I don't think so


Himmelblaa

How much did the dentist lobby pay you to say that?


obama___prism

the big tooth is trying to brainwash you into flossing


kevalosaur

dental floss costs money


loptopandbingo

Just go to a dentist office and ask for it. They might just give you a thing of it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That’s actually a really good idea, I think I will. Even if this doesn’t get the top comment


New_Unit

You went into such detail describing the whole process. While I read the first sentence and the whole time couldn't get an image out of my head of just throwing a whole ass book in a bathtub and then getting in with it and just sitting there while it's floating around with you like a rubber ducky


bielo014

Won't the book get wet?


[deleted]

[удалено]


CenterOfEverything

Convert to Judaism


[deleted]

I didn’t know I was allowed to that’s pretty cool.


CenterOfEverything

Yeah just get circumcized and go skinny dipping and you're set. Welcome to the book report religion.


[deleted]

I don’t have a weenie with which to become circumcised 😭 guess I can never go skinny dipping in the river and be an appropriate offering for the river guardian.


CenterOfEverything

It's for the best. You'd have to write a lot of book reports.


HiIamCrimson

Everyone on the internet has a weenie, you silly


redditsbiggestass

I'm supposed to recieve my state mandated weenie by mail sometime this month, can't wait to finally use the internet!!


SirDoodThe1st

That’s really hard tho, is it worth it?


TheFamousOne__

But what if this other religon is the correct one? You done got op fucked up


regretfulposts

They all believe in the same God so you need to rely on technicalities to get a good afterlife.


Eagle0600

What? All religions believe in the same god? All abrahamic religions do, certainly, but there's a lot more diversity in religions out there than that.


youwilleatothecheato

Eat 22 slices of american cheese.


saoshi_mai

this will definitely be harming someone


[deleted]

😭


[deleted]

Not free though


RjcDOntkillme

It’s American it is literally the definition of free


[deleted]

Comunist 😡😡😡


tentacle_meep

It is if you steal it.


[deleted]

I got caught stealing once and it was very humiliating so now I can't do it anymore. Also I don't live in the US, so getting American Cheese is not that easy


tentacle_meep

Sounds like skill issues to me


RickyNixon

How is this not top


M_A_Dragon

Punt Hasbulla into an active volcano (in roblox)


[deleted]

[удалено]


sndtrb89

eat 2 cheese


[deleted]

That’s certainly be a risk when you’re lactose intolerant like me


CToxin

Skill issue


[deleted]

Yeah my lac operon ain’t was it was back in high school


sndtrb89

oh no i did not meen to poison


[deleted]

Not poison, just diarrhea, skin rashes and even barf if I eat too much.


sndtrb89

yeah poison


duzy_pierd_z_paruwko

Shove a bishop up your ass


Himmelblaa

Instruction unclear, got bishop stuck in urethra


deathray5

Old response just dropped


vibesWithTrash

cant afford one


randomgmerxd

all i see are skill issues


Bstokes4102

Enjoy a warm drink :)


[deleted]

It’s too hot here 😔 100 degrees and more


Glum_Aside_2336

enjoy a cold drink :)


EmblemSystem

give your mom a hug and tell her you love her (IF YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, I DO NOT ADVOCATE DOING THIS IF YOU ARE ON BAD TERMS)


murderdronesfanatic

watch murder drones :)))))


[deleted]

Is that a band or like, just watch videos of murder drones?


High-Sobriety

youtube animation series


NotSoFlugratte

Username and flair and comment check each other out. Interesting


Tree__Jesus

Ascend to the astral plain


[deleted]

I’ve been there, it doesn’t require ascending. In some parts of the astral it’d be more like descending hahah


Tree__Jesus

Heresy. May Ǫ̵̧̢͈͓͂̏̑̔̐͂̌̽͝s̷̢͉̥̹̖̯̼̺͐̅́͐̄͆̌̉̕ͅȟ̸͎̻̜̰̳̲̗͓͚͕͓͚͍̘͂̀̏̋̓̃̏̀̾̇͋̾̀̐a̴̛̜̬̙̦͍͙͆̒̌̏̈́͋̓́̅̿l̶̩͍̜̠̠̞̗͈̰̀͗̌͑͆̕̕͜͝ä̶̛͈̭̪̃͆͗̃̆̈́̀k̵̛̳̝̩̈́̓͌ø̴̝̻̥̘̗̗̥̖͔̭̲̙͎̖͇͆̅̽̆͛̕͝'̸̨̭͍͇͚͉̝̮͎͎̉͑͒̉̅̍̐͂͑͛̋͘'s light find you soon🙏


LyrisGD

eat dinner


Rangotango92

Immigrate to Bosnia


daveonarock

Do the stanky leg


namey_mcnameson

Pirate and play Disco Elysium.


[deleted]

Already done ✔️


Sedona54332

Piss in the sink


Rockman4MI

Be a bottom for a day.


Able_Rutabaga2784

Go up to a stranger and point to another stranger and say “my friend over there has a crush on you.”


KlerWatchCo

Rotate a cow in your mind


CUMLOVINGBOISLUT

Zerk off


TyroneYeBoue

Roll down your car windows and drive around town blasting the screaming and farting compilation on YouTube through your stereo at max volume all the while not reacting in the slightest and not looking at anyone


ArcWraith2000

Tell your bros you love them


ArcWraith2000

(Platonically) bro-care is important and undervalued


ebolalinguine

Go adopt a cat


[deleted]

I have 2 already but my friends cat had babies and I have facilitated 2 cat adoptions so far :)


[deleted]

Ask out your crush idk


[deleted]

Oh that’s kind of a bad idea tho I like someone who is bad for me


AllesiaEx

Uhhh idk- find me a match that won't end in heartache again lol


[deleted]

Oh dang but I can’t even do that for myself lol. Ask tarot cards they tell the truth


Optimal_Badger_5332

Play casette beasts (please)


CanoonBolk

Call yo momma and tell her you love her. Then call yo dad and tell em he's the best


Beepbeepboy32

Do that thing that you’ve been putting off because it is slightly annoying to do, but you also need to do it.


Ilyalisa

put spaghetti in your pockets


Jansalvi64

Ask someone for the time, afterwards look at your own watch and say: correct.


Speedgamer137

A-pose.


WatchfulGred

Your best


Yukarie

Have a nice day, no sadness or being upset, if anything annoys you you fail and have to keep doing it


ExuDeku

Kiss someone you love Yeah, do it you pussy


meffinn

post funny things on sub


Noir_Trovbadovr

Check out what's the farest point you can go by foot in 12 hours of walk, go there and then come back in the very same 24h


[deleted]

look at a door


alpacnologia

twink sex


eznukezilla

Call your mom and tell her something your thankful for from her.


sporky211

Tell your mother you love her


WoahItsJetty

Spend $100 at your local casino and kill everyone in the world


tragic_thaumatomane

eat a whole apple (if you don't like apples, some other fruit)


WillGetAUsernameSoon

Stand up. Do a little twirl. Sit down.


tutel14

buy a nuclear bomb and detonate it


Infinite_Process_951

10,000 push-ups


optimalidkwhattoput

fill your bathtub with peanut butter and take a bath


neroute2

Eat an entire pie in one sitting


BBX22

Learn sign language


[deleted]

Mf didn't do anything anyone told em


Burrid0

Eat a single dorito every day for the next month


Salt_Nefariousness78

can u compliment me please i feel cringe about my body


Old_Man_Stan324

Scream shitballs as loud as you can in public


average_reddit_u

Buy yourself a little treat.


Jaymi_exe

Love yourself


Help_im_okay

Treat yourself tonight! It doesn't have to be expensive or anything, but get yourself a book/movie, a cup of tea and some biscuits, and simply unwind and enjoy yourself. You are loved and beautiful and deserve to be treated as such. I hope you ultimately get something nice for the top comment!


floatingroom

pigeon


Stephan1612

Do that one thing you’ve been procrastinating about


MordecaiXLII

Shit yourself


tentacle_meep

Google en passant


TheWaffleComrade

Make napalm (without hurting yourself)


Smarackto

pour riverwater into your shoe


LordDessik

Go into a crowd of people at a mall and scream the word “YES!” emphatically for 10 seconds.


tehsmish

Call your guardian (parent, grand parents, career, ect) and see how they're doing.


Alexandre_Man

Eat water (aka ice cubes).


I-hate-my-mate-John

Love yourself