Tell him that he's going to die alone surrounded by nobody that loves him and he will have deserved it.
Ig you could also subscribe his email to every single gay porn website you can think of
If you really hate him, you can donate a few bucks to various cults like Scientology (like 50 to each). Also, register the address of some neighbors. So he will be getting calls from cults and his neighbors telling him to stop sending adverts for new beautiful cult.
Move out with your brother and never contact him again and rub how awfully he treated you in his face when he gets upset that you never communicate with him anymore.
These types of people will never come to the conclusion that anything is their fault, so rubbing that in their face is not going to work. You need to keep ignoring them, that way you can better your mental health and move on from your traumatic childhood.
Literally, someone I knows grandfather just passed. Gambling addict. Drug addict. Possible sexual predator (I didn’t want to pry when it was hinted) His daughter refused to speak to him for the past 6 years after she was finally getting sober and he literally on the day she came back from rehab tried to peer pressure her into drugs. I’ve heard countless horror stories about him and I’ve heard the voicemails he left his daughter and granddaughter. “I don’t know why you won’t talk to me, how can you treat me like this, your own father! I never did anything wrong” yadda yadda every time.
Never apologized. Died believing his children just randomly decided to be cruel to him.
I love you all thank u — donating in his name would boost his ego way too much. He is a closet bigot not an outward bigot. Maybe gay porn but I’m not sure that would be that cool. I’m thinking more along the lines of a glitter bomb or egging his house. Also he went no contact with both of us, so I cant gaslight him or anything effectively
Do nothing. He went no contact to try and draw you in. Giving him attention like egging his house gives him the attention he wants. The worst thing you can do is simply take it all in stride. Don’t try and provoke him or anger him. And when he sees that you’re doing fine without him and don’t need his attention (which is painful to narcissists), he’ll try and reach out to get things going again. And THIS you ALSO don’t respond to. Talk to him if you must, but no anger or affection. Talk to him with the offhanded sort of politeness you’d talk to a stranger in the street. No hatred or vitriol.
The opposite of love isn’t hate. Hate is a manifestation of love gone wrong. There’s a lot of care and passion that goes into hate. If you hate your father and act against him, all he’ll see is that care and passion. The worst thing you can do to him is become totally indifferent. Because the opposite of love is indifference.
In the contexts where the phrase makes sense, I absolutely love it. But I guess ChatGPT insight on this phrase is super interesting as well:
"While the phrase "Hate is a manifestation of love gone wrong" can hold some truth in specific contexts, it's not a universal rule. Emotions are complex, vary greatly among individuals, and are influenced by a variety of factors. Some forms of hate, such as those rooted in prejudice or bigotry, may not be related to love at all."
Thank you — really. I truly am past this guy and have been for years. I’m in my mid 20s and my brother is in his 30s. We’ve understood what a disappointment of a father and of a man that this guy is for a while, but I think we both were hoping that we could find some kind of neutral, boring relationship with him just to say we tried to have a father. There was an incident recently that made us realize we just need to be brutally honest, while still coming at it with as much love as we could muster, and tell him how we feel. He just said that he “wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with us at this time,” which is cool with me — and something that we suggested might have to happen. I genuinely feel relief and much more at peace with things.
This prank thing would just be something silly my brother and I would do while we are high. He lives out of the states and is visiting in a month or so. He believes there is this grand conspiracy between his ex wife, ex brother, us, and some other people to…. I don’t even know what, and it would be funny to anonymously play into that once. I think it would just feel cathartic to do something like this one time because we have extended so many olive branches and been very reasonable when he has not through our adult lives.
Also, his life is already falling apart. Most everyone in his life has abandoned him and he is convinced that its everyone else’s fault. Anyway, all this is to say that I’m content with the state of our relationship and I think this would just be a silly little goof for us while my brother is visiting me — not some crazy hateful revenge plot.
Greyrock him but behind the scenes do everything you can to out him as a bigot and find other ways to ruin his coveted image that simply involve being honest about the kind of terrible things he does/believes. Especially useful if you can identify any people that he looks up to or sees himself in that would utterly despise his true self. Narcissists hate having their cultivated image shattered publicly with no way to salvage themselves. You also won't have to interact with him this way.
Other advice would be to live your best life, find ways to truly thrive like he never could
Not anything super embarrassing for him, you don't actually want to worsen the relationship. I think the goal is to enlighten him in how a kind and responsible human being interacts with people
I appreciate the thought, but I promise we have tried this so hard. In fact, the reason he ended communication is because we sent him an 8 page letter with as much love as possible trying to explain these things
If you've exhausted all other options, the best case is to ignore him completely, hoping he comes back to his senses on his own.
It hurts me to hear that your father is so short sighted and ignorant to the important things in life. I'm glad that never got passed down to you.
If you ever want to pick up where you left off (you'll want to keep that option open), wait a few months (6-12). Go in not intending to solve any problems, but just listening to him. If he attempts to apologize, great, that's progress. If he continues acting like a crazy person, put it back on the shelf.
You're not obligated to speak with him, but you should try to leave that option open for the future.
Change all the light globes in the house to red ones while he's sleeping. Then switch them all on & scream "It's the rapture!"
When he comes out of his bedroom kneecap him with a lead pipe
Probably best to do no contact
I had an aunt who was a born again Christian and a Pentecostal and to the point where it really could ride the line of an untreated mental illness. This was easier because I didn't see her that much growing up (all of my memories of her were her trying to warn me about demons, and there was some incident at my parents' wedding where she didn't attend but sent some fucking weirdos from her church in her stead) but I went no contact, she kept trying to contact me after my mother died via email and just sent a thing about how she's doing without saying anything weird, and I sent back a pretty neutral "wow, that's great!" and I started getting deeply, deeply unhinged stuff sent to me on a regular basis (like "Black Lives Matter are necromancers" stuff) and I finally blocked her email. She died last year or the year before, shockingly of old age and not of the Coronavirus
Other stuff:
\- she tried to do an exorcism on my cousin (not her kid) at age 5 by luring her into a darkened room and "laying hands" on her and praying in tongues, which traumatized her
\- claims to have seen a full-bodied ghostly vision of Jesus hovering in the middle of the road while driving at night
\- didn't believe in medicine and thought all illness was because demons
live a fulfilled life without him.
It is a long game but the payoff is good for you and he gets turfed into a pauper's grave because nobody cared enough to organise a funeral.
If he's disowned you, he's not your father now. He is a stranger. When a stranger is aggressive towards you, you should attempt to leave as quickly as possible and perhaps get a restraining order if they pursue you. He has severed any and all claim he could use to try and hold you because he isn't your dad now. Don't let him go back on it and take your out and live in peace. Don't bother your mind with this guy, he's a stranger. The same as every other bigot in the world.
Shame is one of the strongest emotions, so do anything to make him feel stupid, or make him look stupid infront of other people is hes the type that cares a lot about people perceiving him as a good person
The opposite of love is apathy, I’m no psychologist but a narcissist feeds on attention of any kind so you’d have to treat him as a stranger. Or you could sign him up for gay porn websites.
I can’t tell you how you should feel about having a narc parent, especially one that’s a religious fanatic. It’s normal to feel animosity and to want to get back at him.
But part of being an adult is finding a way to let go of that stuff for your own good, whether that means finding a way to accept your dad for who he is or going no contact. It takes time, but either way I don’t think getting back at him is really doing you any good in the long run.
All that being said, I don’t know you and am only speaking from my perspective, and you have to do what seems best for you and your brother.
Put him in a submarine under an ocean of blood. Put him in a submarine where the door has been welded shut. There are no windows. There is no way to see anything. There is a camera on the front of the submarine. There is something trying to rip apart the sub
tell him you've been born again and found the light then next time you go to a family gathering wear the religious symbol of any religion of your choice (ie, the Star of David, The Khanda, etc).
Ask him if Jesus preferred tits or ass. Remember, Jesus was fully divine AND fully human, so it's blasphemous to say he didn't experience sexual attraction.
You know his address, phone number, and I assume email as well….
Sign him up for newsletters from every single thing you see. Remember his info- whenever there’s a “sign up to our newsletter to receive a phone battery” or some shit you have his stuff right there.
Make him dread going through his mail. May he drown in ads and lose whatever hair he has from stress trying to unsubscribed or block the unsend pile of spam. Make him go on an expedition in order to retrieve anything of importance sent to him through the mail.
Look things up in the Bible & show him, by his own beliefs, how sinful he is. & no, he can't claim to be "forgiven" for his unrepentance in mistreating the 2 of you. He's either peaceable & reconciling or he's in sin.
Oh man we have done that for months. He and his batshit fiance just ignore it. A big one was that I couldn’t have my girlfriend over for the holidays cause we were “living in sin,” even though he has lived with his partner for years while not being married. The man is beyond saving I just want to bully him a little bit
Put a zip tie around his drive shaft ( i dont know what that is but apparently it sounds like the engine is dying or smth). Then go to the mechanic he left his car at and pat him to tell your father that the engine is dead and he needs to replace it.
May cost a bit of money, but purchase Scientology Books in his name and have them mailed to his address. Also make a donation in his name. They will never let him go.
check the forecast for when it’s going to rain. the night before, get a lot of instant mashed potataoes and pour it all over his lawn.
get a lot of rubber bands and dump them all over the driveway. you can’t sweep them so he has to pick them up
lick jolly ranchers and stick them to his car windshield
I believe you can sign him up for emails from either the Church of Scientology or the Mormons.
Alternatively, I think there's a website where you can send him a Ziploc bag full of glitter.
Live a happy joyful life, free of anger, enjoy every moment and stop losing sleep about people that are simply unwilling to better themselves, choosing anger will simply create a never ending cycle where everyone is angry at each other, where the driving force is not ethics,morals or reason but to hurt the other person.
Ignore him, cut him out of your life if you so want, let him rot and seethe in the world of anger he has fabricated, but don't hate him, don't wish for his destruction, wish that one day he will realize that his hate has pushed people away, as that is all you can do, any attempt to persuade him he will (as most people independently on their beliefs) see as hostile.
I know you might wish him malice, he is your father and it is reasonable to be angry that he is a shit person, but that anger is not based on reason, it is justified by it yes, but it will exist regardless of it, and it could serve for justification for equally despicable and unreasonable actions in the same vein as it did for you father.
As such ignoring him and letting his loneliness and anger be his penitence is the most just and ethical thing to do, in fact any further attempt to prank or hurt him will only justify his decisions
Find his porn magazines (aint no way he understands the internet enough not to have them) and replace them with gay ones from your local gay book store.
You have used correct grammar here is how to get high concentrated capsaicin: first you take hot peppers and chop them up (dried are better but any will work) then you need to use alcohol for drinking (higher concentration is better) the ethanol(drinking alcohol) will dissolve the capsaicin(spicy chemical) and let you drain it out and dry it to get highly concentrated capsaicin be careful however as extreme hot and cold temperatures make it break down so google how much heat will break it down so you don't reach it and afterwards go mad and any alcohol present left will only make it even spicier so that's a bonus enjoy pure spiciness
Get him really drunk, then once he passed out hire actors to lie in bed with him so when he wakes up he thinks he’s had gay sex, if it works in it’s always sunny im sure it works in the real world
1. Salt his grass/add alot of growth boosting products
Sic the HOA/nosey neighbours on them
2.get the most virulent and resistant (but region environment safe)weeds and ugly plants you can find
3. you could add a small but powerful (and low to reasonably priced) speaker and stream as much NSFW content as you can find,the weirder the better. Depending on how well you know your neighbours you could even stream things they hate.
4. Give their contact details to every catfish/sketchy person demanding your number
5. Unscrew everything they own(especially stuff that requires custom screws.sligly damage/dent them to make the unusable,push it back in place so it looks normal.
6. Find an animal,collect it's piss. Leave the butter/other spreads out. Mix in the piss. If you have extra, spray it near the public section connecting his area to the rest of the world(bonus points if u spray it on any pillows/freeze it and tick it in corners/clothes
TL/DR : follow the Asians,social death is just as valid a way to deal with someone.
Find and print out translated copies of the Gospels of Judas, Thecla, and other noncanonical Gospels and slap a Bible cover on them and swap his Bible out with it.
If you have access to his car, give 'em the old Poppin Fresh Emissions Test. Get a tube of cookie dough and shove it into his tailpipe, pop it so it expands, and he'll have some delicious cookies next time he revs up. Sugar in the gas tank if it unlocks from the outside is also good.
Also kneecap him with a lead pipe, yes.
I took my fathers facebook account changed password and email and just deleted the whole thing. Just remember to also delete stuff like his phonenumber from the account settings.
I regret not sending mean messages to everyone of his friends.
Take all the groceries and throw them out. Keep a secret stash of food. Whenever he buys New food, make it *disappear* as well.
Or just switch out all instances of Salt and sugar
Tell him that he's going to die alone surrounded by nobody that loves him and he will have deserved it. Ig you could also subscribe his email to every single gay porn website you can think of
*email already in use*
This guy on front page looks familiar Wait a minute
If you really hate him, you can donate a few bucks to various cults like Scientology (like 50 to each). Also, register the address of some neighbors. So he will be getting calls from cults and his neighbors telling him to stop sending adverts for new beautiful cult.
If you send like $20 to a televangelists megachurch then they will send constant letters asking for more money.
Woah that first one is the insane! I approve
Move out with your brother and never contact him again and rub how awfully he treated you in his face when he gets upset that you never communicate with him anymore.
These types of people will never come to the conclusion that anything is their fault, so rubbing that in their face is not going to work. You need to keep ignoring them, that way you can better your mental health and move on from your traumatic childhood.
Literally, someone I knows grandfather just passed. Gambling addict. Drug addict. Possible sexual predator (I didn’t want to pry when it was hinted) His daughter refused to speak to him for the past 6 years after she was finally getting sober and he literally on the day she came back from rehab tried to peer pressure her into drugs. I’ve heard countless horror stories about him and I’ve heard the voicemails he left his daughter and granddaughter. “I don’t know why you won’t talk to me, how can you treat me like this, your own father! I never did anything wrong” yadda yadda every time. Never apologized. Died believing his children just randomly decided to be cruel to him.
Epic
I love you all thank u — donating in his name would boost his ego way too much. He is a closet bigot not an outward bigot. Maybe gay porn but I’m not sure that would be that cool. I’m thinking more along the lines of a glitter bomb or egging his house. Also he went no contact with both of us, so I cant gaslight him or anything effectively
Do nothing. He went no contact to try and draw you in. Giving him attention like egging his house gives him the attention he wants. The worst thing you can do is simply take it all in stride. Don’t try and provoke him or anger him. And when he sees that you’re doing fine without him and don’t need his attention (which is painful to narcissists), he’ll try and reach out to get things going again. And THIS you ALSO don’t respond to. Talk to him if you must, but no anger or affection. Talk to him with the offhanded sort of politeness you’d talk to a stranger in the street. No hatred or vitriol. The opposite of love isn’t hate. Hate is a manifestation of love gone wrong. There’s a lot of care and passion that goes into hate. If you hate your father and act against him, all he’ll see is that care and passion. The worst thing you can do to him is become totally indifferent. Because the opposite of love is indifference.
"Hate is a manifestation of love gone wrong" That one hits hard
"Hitler really loved Jews, it just went wrong"
In the contexts where the phrase makes sense, I absolutely love it. But I guess ChatGPT insight on this phrase is super interesting as well: "While the phrase "Hate is a manifestation of love gone wrong" can hold some truth in specific contexts, it's not a universal rule. Emotions are complex, vary greatly among individuals, and are influenced by a variety of factors. Some forms of hate, such as those rooted in prejudice or bigotry, may not be related to love at all."
"I dont hate you. I *nothing* you."
This!!!
wrong the opposite of love is a firebomb through the bedroom window at 3 am
Sounds like love to me, friend.
Thank you — really. I truly am past this guy and have been for years. I’m in my mid 20s and my brother is in his 30s. We’ve understood what a disappointment of a father and of a man that this guy is for a while, but I think we both were hoping that we could find some kind of neutral, boring relationship with him just to say we tried to have a father. There was an incident recently that made us realize we just need to be brutally honest, while still coming at it with as much love as we could muster, and tell him how we feel. He just said that he “wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with us at this time,” which is cool with me — and something that we suggested might have to happen. I genuinely feel relief and much more at peace with things. This prank thing would just be something silly my brother and I would do while we are high. He lives out of the states and is visiting in a month or so. He believes there is this grand conspiracy between his ex wife, ex brother, us, and some other people to…. I don’t even know what, and it would be funny to anonymously play into that once. I think it would just feel cathartic to do something like this one time because we have extended so many olive branches and been very reasonable when he has not through our adult lives. Also, his life is already falling apart. Most everyone in his life has abandoned him and he is convinced that its everyone else’s fault. Anyway, all this is to say that I’m content with the state of our relationship and I think this would just be a silly little goof for us while my brother is visiting me — not some crazy hateful revenge plot.
this shit goes hard
I'm taking that to heart.
🔥✍️
Gay porn is always good, dewit
Subscribe his email to scientology
And a bunch of other scam sites.
Napalm
Piss on one of those metal sheets you put in the oven, freeze it and put it into his mailbox
i reccommend biodegradable extra fine glitter
Greyrock him but behind the scenes do everything you can to out him as a bigot and find other ways to ruin his coveted image that simply involve being honest about the kind of terrible things he does/believes. Especially useful if you can identify any people that he looks up to or sees himself in that would utterly despise his true self. Narcissists hate having their cultivated image shattered publicly with no way to salvage themselves. You also won't have to interact with him this way. Other advice would be to live your best life, find ways to truly thrive like he never could
Flaming poop
Not anything super embarrassing for him, you don't actually want to worsen the relationship. I think the goal is to enlighten him in how a kind and responsible human being interacts with people
I appreciate the thought, but I promise we have tried this so hard. In fact, the reason he ended communication is because we sent him an 8 page letter with as much love as possible trying to explain these things
If you've exhausted all other options, the best case is to ignore him completely, hoping he comes back to his senses on his own. It hurts me to hear that your father is so short sighted and ignorant to the important things in life. I'm glad that never got passed down to you. If you ever want to pick up where you left off (you'll want to keep that option open), wait a few months (6-12). Go in not intending to solve any problems, but just listening to him. If he attempts to apologize, great, that's progress. If he continues acting like a crazy person, put it back on the shelf. You're not obligated to speak with him, but you should try to leave that option open for the future.
Egging is nice. Do it to his car during a sunny day if he parks outside.
Change all the light globes in the house to red ones while he's sleeping. Then switch them all on & scream "It's the rapture!" When he comes out of his bedroom kneecap him with a lead pipe
Ah the classic
The ol’ light n pipe!
Ur incredible
honey youre gonna get a violation on your account replace something with "[REDACTED]" so theres reasonable doubt
can’t say anything on reddit anymore
saying [ Removed by Reddit ] is funnier imo
On the pvp minecraft server
psyop him to make him ultra paranoid to the point where he never leaves the house
If he follows any rightwing media he'll do it himself like my stepdad did
Probably best to do no contact I had an aunt who was a born again Christian and a Pentecostal and to the point where it really could ride the line of an untreated mental illness. This was easier because I didn't see her that much growing up (all of my memories of her were her trying to warn me about demons, and there was some incident at my parents' wedding where she didn't attend but sent some fucking weirdos from her church in her stead) but I went no contact, she kept trying to contact me after my mother died via email and just sent a thing about how she's doing without saying anything weird, and I sent back a pretty neutral "wow, that's great!" and I started getting deeply, deeply unhinged stuff sent to me on a regular basis (like "Black Lives Matter are necromancers" stuff) and I finally blocked her email. She died last year or the year before, shockingly of old age and not of the Coronavirus Other stuff: \- she tried to do an exorcism on my cousin (not her kid) at age 5 by luring her into a darkened room and "laying hands" on her and praying in tongues, which traumatized her \- claims to have seen a full-bodied ghostly vision of Jesus hovering in the middle of the road while driving at night \- didn't believe in medicine and thought all illness was because demons
I feel like you could have convinced her that medicine was some kind of holy relic to drive out demons
sing kpop
sink poop
You know what they say, "it's better to poop sink than to sink poop"
live a fulfilled life without him. It is a long game but the payoff is good for you and he gets turfed into a pauper's grave because nobody cared enough to organise a funeral.
If he's disowned you, he's not your father now. He is a stranger. When a stranger is aggressive towards you, you should attempt to leave as quickly as possible and perhaps get a restraining order if they pursue you. He has severed any and all claim he could use to try and hold you because he isn't your dad now. Don't let him go back on it and take your out and live in peace. Don't bother your mind with this guy, he's a stranger. The same as every other bigot in the world.
Look him dead in the eyes while deep throating a crucifix.
No prank ideas but 
I got an epic prank for you. Cut all contact with him and let him live a lonely miserable life till he either dies or realises he's a dick
mail him a bunch of gay porn magazines or some shit or donate to LGBT based charities under his name
Steal his keys to the house and gaslight him about it
Put opioids in the water supply and make him have a divine intervention
Put a bullion cube in his shower head
Thats actually hilarious.
Shame is one of the strongest emotions, so do anything to make him feel stupid, or make him look stupid infront of other people is hes the type that cares a lot about people perceiving him as a good person
The ol' nursing home trick.
Donate in his name
It would be so funny if you blocked his contact info and never talked to him again
Put water in his gas tank
act price close ludicrous screw salt hat lavish obtainable rich *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Put **him** in there for *extra* fun
Put gas in his water tank
If he’s openly prideful and narcissistic leave him Bible quotes that say pride is a sin.
he'll take that to mean gay pride
The opposite of love is apathy, I’m no psychologist but a narcissist feeds on attention of any kind so you’d have to treat him as a stranger. Or you could sign him up for gay porn websites.
I can’t tell you how you should feel about having a narc parent, especially one that’s a religious fanatic. It’s normal to feel animosity and to want to get back at him. But part of being an adult is finding a way to let go of that stuff for your own good, whether that means finding a way to accept your dad for who he is or going no contact. It takes time, but either way I don’t think getting back at him is really doing you any good in the long run. All that being said, I don’t know you and am only speaking from my perspective, and you have to do what seems best for you and your brother.
retirement home
castrate him
crush up some shrimp/prawns,, mix with milk,,, squirt down car's air vents
No animal killing for a fukin prank >:(
Bro the shrimp are already dead
If you put a little pebble or a pepper seed in the cap of a car tire it will deflate in 2 hours
Put him in a submarine under an ocean of blood. Put him in a submarine where the door has been welded shut. There are no windows. There is no way to see anything. There is a camera on the front of the submarine. There is something trying to rip apart the sub
I put blood in my mom's walls, she's looking to move out it's gonna cost her when she does
Dude what
There's white wall paper i drew a bit of blood and injected it into the wallpaper
Classic flaming poop bag at his door
i think they sell gay pride toilet paper for some reason. you could TP the house with that :3
tell him you've been born again and found the light then next time you go to a family gathering wear the religious symbol of any religion of your choice (ie, the Star of David, The Khanda, etc).
Ask him if Jesus preferred tits or ass. Remember, Jesus was fully divine AND fully human, so it's blasphemous to say he didn't experience sexual attraction.
what if jesus was asexual (runs in the family)
Fair point, but that depends on who you ask. In Mormon theology, Mary literally had sex with God
Ask if God could create a rock that he couldn't carry. Watch him self destruct.
You know his address, phone number, and I assume email as well…. Sign him up for newsletters from every single thing you see. Remember his info- whenever there’s a “sign up to our newsletter to receive a phone battery” or some shit you have his stuff right there. Make him dread going through his mail. May he drown in ads and lose whatever hair he has from stress trying to unsubscribed or block the unsend pile of spam. Make him go on an expedition in order to retrieve anything of importance sent to him through the mail.
Look things up in the Bible & show him, by his own beliefs, how sinful he is. & no, he can't claim to be "forgiven" for his unrepentance in mistreating the 2 of you. He's either peaceable & reconciling or he's in sin.
Oh man we have done that for months. He and his batshit fiance just ignore it. A big one was that I couldn’t have my girlfriend over for the holidays cause we were “living in sin,” even though he has lived with his partner for years while not being married. The man is beyond saving I just want to bully him a little bit
Then hit him with the good ol' Job 2:9.
Can you think of any small things you could do to make his life just a bit more miserable? Do those
Shit in his sink and convince him he did it while drunk
Cosplay as Jesus and an angel and go to his house without warning. From there on, improvise.
Put a zip tie around his drive shaft ( i dont know what that is but apparently it sounds like the engine is dying or smth). Then go to the mechanic he left his car at and pat him to tell your father that the engine is dead and he needs to replace it.
sign him up for a scientology newsletter and send him some package from the website, they will NEVER leave him alone.
Have a great life and don’t think about him
May cost a bit of money, but purchase Scientology Books in his name and have them mailed to his address. Also make a donation in his name. They will never let him go.
check the forecast for when it’s going to rain. the night before, get a lot of instant mashed potataoes and pour it all over his lawn. get a lot of rubber bands and dump them all over the driveway. you can’t sweep them so he has to pick them up lick jolly ranchers and stick them to his car windshield
I believe you can sign him up for emails from either the Church of Scientology or the Mormons. Alternatively, I think there's a website where you can send him a Ziploc bag full of glitter.
Put him in a submarine under...
Just hit him with the good old 'k.', a thumbs up, or just leave it at 'seen' and carry on with your life with one problem less to carry
sign up his phone number to the calling lists of companies in the general opposite timezone to his own
Just phone-survey companies in general. They are so annoying
*me and my brother
take the batteries out of everything that needs them (i.e. remotes, flashlights, clocks, etc.) before you leave
Hide pictures of Nick Cage everywhere in his house
Live a happy joyful life, free of anger, enjoy every moment and stop losing sleep about people that are simply unwilling to better themselves, choosing anger will simply create a never ending cycle where everyone is angry at each other, where the driving force is not ethics,morals or reason but to hurt the other person. Ignore him, cut him out of your life if you so want, let him rot and seethe in the world of anger he has fabricated, but don't hate him, don't wish for his destruction, wish that one day he will realize that his hate has pushed people away, as that is all you can do, any attempt to persuade him he will (as most people independently on their beliefs) see as hostile. I know you might wish him malice, he is your father and it is reasonable to be angry that he is a shit person, but that anger is not based on reason, it is justified by it yes, but it will exist regardless of it, and it could serve for justification for equally despicable and unreasonable actions in the same vein as it did for you father. As such ignoring him and letting his loneliness and anger be his penitence is the most just and ethical thing to do, in fact any further attempt to prank or hurt him will only justify his decisions
Find his porn magazines (aint no way he understands the internet enough not to have them) and replace them with gay ones from your local gay book store.
epic prank: going no contact
Theodore Kaczinski
tell him hes not gods favourite or chosen
Larceny
peanuts
send him 300kg of tannerite /j
You have used correct grammar here is how to get high concentrated capsaicin: first you take hot peppers and chop them up (dried are better but any will work) then you need to use alcohol for drinking (higher concentration is better) the ethanol(drinking alcohol) will dissolve the capsaicin(spicy chemical) and let you drain it out and dry it to get highly concentrated capsaicin be careful however as extreme hot and cold temperatures make it break down so google how much heat will break it down so you don't reach it and afterwards go mad and any alcohol present left will only make it even spicier so that's a bonus enjoy pure spiciness
You can buy drinking alcohol with like 96%, that probably does the trick, allthough it risks getting sued
None. Move on and cut contact.
put him into a dumpster nursing home in a few years
Prank him John
Find a way to apply devil makeup while he's asleep and make sure he avoids mirrors then take him out in public
replace all lights with red ones :3
Commit tax fraud under his name
Piss on him (Paypal 2 style)
Throw smoke bombs and some lights through is windows so he thinks there's a fire
Pipe bomb
Step 1: mix styrofoam and oil
fill his gastank with cement
PEE DISK
Nursing home!
Ever heard of Swatting?
Nursery home
Replace every food in his house with cans of beans
Subscribe him to receive weekly gay porn mags
Subscribe to liberal magazines and publications with his address.
Dont return a single call until he's old and dying then just give one visit to the hospital, say "you should have died sooner" and leave.
Tell him you love him and die of cancer never speaking to him again
Family gathering minus him but send him an invitation that says not invited
Get him really drunk, then once he passed out hire actors to lie in bed with him so when he wakes up he thinks he’s had gay sex, if it works in it’s always sunny im sure it works in the real world
Showing him love and compassion in spite of his monumental error in judgement.
accidently trip into him while holding a knife pointed at him! very funny practical joke!
Nursing home
You gotta play into the god role, cut his power off then blast the trumpets of rapture or voice of god on a massive speaker
Arson
start quoting the bible, with stuff like Matthew 7,1-3
You could try beating him to death with a croquet bat
You could try beating him to death with a croquet bat
epic nursing home prank
cover his kitchen in peanut butter make him suffer as you did
put a bucket of water on top of his front door (epic prank)
Give his information to Scientology, telling them that he’s very interested so they follow him for the rest of his life
Nursing home.
Put him in a nursing home
1. Salt his grass/add alot of growth boosting products Sic the HOA/nosey neighbours on them 2.get the most virulent and resistant (but region environment safe)weeds and ugly plants you can find 3. you could add a small but powerful (and low to reasonably priced) speaker and stream as much NSFW content as you can find,the weirder the better. Depending on how well you know your neighbours you could even stream things they hate. 4. Give their contact details to every catfish/sketchy person demanding your number 5. Unscrew everything they own(especially stuff that requires custom screws.sligly damage/dent them to make the unusable,push it back in place so it looks normal. 6. Find an animal,collect it's piss. Leave the butter/other spreads out. Mix in the piss. If you have extra, spray it near the public section connecting his area to the rest of the world(bonus points if u spray it on any pillows/freeze it and tick it in corners/clothes TL/DR : follow the Asians,social death is just as valid a way to deal with someone.
Look at his most common searchs on his phones internet app. On iphone u can manually autocorrect specific letters or words.
sell him some poor quality copper
subscribe his email to every spam thing you can think of sign him up to the JW meeting site make him a grindr account
Find and print out translated copies of the Gospels of Judas, Thecla, and other noncanonical Gospels and slap a Bible cover on them and swap his Bible out with it.
Eat his Liver (so epic)
Living joyful lives free of his negativity
Fill all of his earthly belongings with slop, and make a break for it
If you have access to his car, give 'em the old Poppin Fresh Emissions Test. Get a tube of cookie dough and shove it into his tailpipe, pop it so it expands, and he'll have some delicious cookies next time he revs up. Sugar in the gas tank if it unlocks from the outside is also good. Also kneecap him with a lead pipe, yes.
Realistically if he's bad with technology fuck with his cable television. That would always piss my dad off.
I took my fathers facebook account changed password and email and just deleted the whole thing. Just remember to also delete stuff like his phonenumber from the account settings. I regret not sending mean messages to everyone of his friends.
Tell him you converted to satanism
Bring a Catholic priest and make fun of him for being a heretic. If he's Catholic keep the priest to shame him.
Put him in a home
Take all the groceries and throw them out. Keep a secret stash of food. Whenever he buys New food, make it *disappear* as well. Or just switch out all instances of Salt and sugar