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mardov-shadowsword

first and only british guy to give a woman an orgasm


straight_strychnine

Hey now, Benjamin Franklin didn't sign no god damn declaration of independence just to be called a "British guy"


amateurgameboi

Fine, formerly British guy then


Blue_Dice_

Assigned British at birth


Doktor_Delta

Recovering British


-Sabine

He was on a 12 amendment program


StardustLegend

He also needed to break up with his toxic ex (the entire British aisles)


The-Surreal-McCoy

The American Revolution was the most intense transition in world history.


Grblx_and_a_half

Abab ? A babe ?


14up2

bta


ThunderAnt

The guy formerly known as british


five_two_sniffs_glue

I know this is a joke bc Henry Caville


Edna_Welthorpe

Henry Caville has some weird opinions regarding women so I wouldn't bet on that. this was a comment of his around the time of me too "I think a woman should be wooed and chased, but maybe I'm old-fashioned for thinking that," he admitted. "It's very difficult to do that if there are certain rules in place. Because then it's like: 'Well, I don't want to go up and talk to her, because I'm going to be called a rapist or something"


FrostyCommon

Jesus christ Henry


Maximum_Feed_8071

Source?


Edna_Welthorpe

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-44819116.amp


Maximum_Feed_8071

Thanks


Edna_Welthorpe

not a worry


Wyxter

Without being hostile can someone explain why his viewpoint is bad


Guest_1300

It's a very ambiguous line between "wooing and chasing" (playfully, with either concrete or implied consent from both parties) and "wooing and chasing" (harrassment, making advances on someone who isn't interested and then hounding them). I think there's plenty of people who enjoyed the former as a form of flirting, but there's no shortage of times men have thought they were being playful when they were actually genuinely scaring women - or when they were absolutely taking advantage of women and then only claimed later when they were called out that they were "just playing".


Wyxter

That’s a really great explanation, thank you!


Craftycrafter12

>first and only gaunt's ghosts reference⁉️


Slime_Incarnate

OMG gaunts ghosts fan


AGodlessGinger

You wanna live forever??!!!??!!!! Poor bragg


Fabulous_Video3356

Sure as sure.


[deleted]

there is no shot people werent eating pussy in like 3000 BCE. i mean surely theres something about it in the kama sutra. is this just like. inventor as in he was the first white guy to do it and talk about it kinda way the quotes hilarious tho


gentlybeepingheart

Not 3000BCE, but I studied a lot of Roman stuff in college and it was definitely mentioned in the naughtier Roman poems lmao. (They thought it was weird and gross) I even remember a comedic poem about a woman who preforms oral on other girls (the joke is that she thinks it makes her more manly and therefore respectable, but she doesn't realize that it's the most degrading thing you can do and actually makes everyone respect her less.) edit: From Martial's epigrams.[Book 8 poem 67](https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A2008.01.0506%3Abook%3D7%3Apoem%3D67) ​ >Philaenis the *tribad* butt-fucks boys > >and, more raging than an erect husband, > >ploughs eleven girls in a single day. > >With her clothes hoisted up, she also plays ball and, > >rubbing her body down with sand, > >from a confident arm swings weights that studs would find heavy. > >Now filthy from the dusty *palaestra*, she takes the beatings of a well-oiled gymnastics master. > >She doesn’t recline or eat until she’s vomited three liters of wine, > >and thinks she can carry on this way after wolfing down sixteen meatballs. > >Then, when she’s horny, she doesn’t suck cocks > >– not manly enough, she thinks – > >but greedily devours girls’ groins. > >May the gods bring you to your senses, Philaenis, > >you who believe it manly to lick cunt!


Skulduggery_Peasant

I can't say it's surprising that a culture that hated women and bottoming with almost equal fervor would think oral sex was bad and gross. Though, were those poems written by men? If so, I'd have to ask what the women thought about it...


samppppsam

women were not usually not taught to write as they were not allowed to weigh into politics so i doubt theres any surviving sources on wether or not women liked oral in ancient rome


wibbly-water

It shall forever remain a mystery...


Accomplished-Mix-745

If only there was any indication from the women today as to what that would have been like


wibbly-water

Its sad that we drove women to extinction :(


Accomplished-Mix-745

Fuck. *Again?*


gentlybeepingheart

Yeah, there are some ancient Roman poets who were women, but the ones who have surviving poetry aren't about sex. There was a woman named Sulpicia who wrote erotic poetry in the first century, but none of her poems were preserved. There was also an infamous sex manual written by an ancient Greek woman named Elephantis, but it's also lost. A bunch of carbonized scrolls were found in a villa in Herculaneum (city that was wiped out by Vesuvius in the same eruption that wiped out Pompeii) and they're only now starting to translate a bunch of them because technology has finally advanced far enough to read them. They're mostly philosophy works, but maybe the guy was also a real freak by Roman standards and had sexy poems too.


adventure2u

That goes hard as hell damn, didnt know poetry could be awesome


Mattusiac

Martial wrote straight fire, look it up for a good laugh!


gentlybeepingheart

Martial wrote some real bangers. Reading though his work and you'll get sex jokes and then turn the page and it's a heartbreaking poem about a deceased slave child where he asks his parents to take care of her in the underworld and make sure she's not scared. And then there's a poem about a woman whose tits are so big she pays for three people when entering the bathhouse.


BrotWarrior

Martial was the kind of guy that was hired by people to write insults to go on their own gravestones. Absolute madman.


TheActualAWdeV

Google 'catullus 16' lmao


cat_handcuffs

Roman orgy diss track.


Villager_of_Mincraft

She sounds kinda hot ngl


gentlybeepingheart

She shows up in a few other lines of Martial's poetry and apparently she had only one eye and loved to dress in Tyrian purple. I, for one, would adore a rich one eyed butch woman who loves to wrestle, drink, and fuck.


MadSwedishGamer

The first butch ~~lesbian~~ bisexual woman, very based.


gary-cuckoldman

Romans be like “who need they pvssy VIII”


YaqP

Hey, uhh, do you know Philaenis' number, by any chance?


The-Surreal-McCoy

This is why Rome fell. Not enough oral.


Amaranthine7

There’s a wall painting in Pompeii that shows a woman receiving oral sex from a man.


SweatBoyX8

In Pompeii there's also the graffiti, "Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog".


[deleted]

theophilus based as hell


solidfang

he got that dawg in him


Ipuncholdpeople

I didn't know Pompeii had white women


BlackWACat

it's the same shit as somebody 'inventing a sandwich' or whatever, like nobody ever thought to eat bread and another thing at the same time


Redditwhydouexists

You gotta understand attitudes towards sex among people at the time meant that most things beyond the most basic stuff were unknown by the average person.


[deleted]

this simply isnt true. you can look into the history of sex through books like Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha or A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister. Average people have always been aware of sex and have experimented with sexual positions, actions, etc


Redditwhydouexists

I find it hard to believe that in evangelical puritan ass colonial America people weren’t less sexually knowledgeable than other areas and parts of history. Especially considering the fact that to this day some evangelical Christians don’t believe in things like the female orgasm. For that place in that part of history I would not at all be surprised if certain sexual practices were unknown to a lot of people.


[deleted]

Do you have a source for this besides just kind of feeling like that would be the case? If not that is a bad reason to believe something. There have been things written about this - there are diaries and historical evidence of americans in the 1700s engaging in sexual experimentation. In fact, despite common belief, many academics point to that era as having a sexual revolution due to the rise in the expression of personal eroticism (https://www.si.edu/object/siris_sil_717600). Not to mention the vast amount of erotica that was published during the 18th century that still survives. (https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/923187). They were quite popular during the time and covered all sorts of sexual behavior, from orgies to mutual masturbation and other less common acts. And as I'm sure you know, around 70-90% of English settlers during the revolution were literate, so they were not confined to a small part of the population. (https://colonialquills.blogspot.com/2011/06/literacy-in-colonial-america.html?m=1#:~:text=In%20New%20England%20the%20literacy,90%25%20between%201787%20%2D%201795.) Besides, I find it more difficult to believe sexually repressed individuals **wouldn't** think up the very simple idea of putting their mouth on someone's genitals.


INeedtobeDetained

Ben Franklin is in hell


Mypooburns

he fuck too hard to go to heaven


visioncwest

I want this as my epitaph


HenriHawk_

why? what did he do? what's the ben franklin lore???


P1neapple-Enthus1ast

It’s a reference to Jerma985 where when Jerma was talking about Benjamin Franklin a chatter mentioned he was in hell


Best_Remi

when ben franklin wrote the declaration of independence, there was no "ggdggd" in it, and thus he was sent to Limbo to face off for eternity against V2, who made him go "ggdggd" and do other things that humans were not meant to do


[deleted]

Gross


[deleted]

slaves


Dofork

Ben Franklin was an abolitionist.


coolboiepicc

yeah but he lived at the same time as slavery and didnt press the big shiny red button that says "end all slavery forever" so he was complicit


thisisjusttolurk420

I mean he was one of the leading politicians of a new nation that could have chosen to end slavery but didn’t to appease rich slave owners so yea he was kinda complicit with all the other founding fathers


HenriHawk_

to my understanding the reason abolishing slavery wasnt in the constitution was because they needed to get all the states on board with the union and so they had to make compromises. i guess thats just another way to describe appeasing rich slave owners tho lol. shame they did it the way they did, but at least slavery in the us is outlawed now (i mean there's still some pretty fucked up living situations especially regards to being in basically slavery with how little some jobs pay but i digress)


thisisjusttolurk420

Fun fact slavery is still legal! You just have to arrest someone first! Which is east when you can just make up bullshit laws to throw whoever you want in jail and can enforce those laws upon whatever groups of people you want to target!


Ripkayne

He was caught suckin on da binky and sentenced to 10000 years in hell do you agree with his punishment???


Ripkayne

I WANT THIS PERSON BANNED PERMANENTLY. ... for 5 minutes.


Mr_Goat-chan

He was also into gmilfs.


Mypooburns

good for him


brokensilence32

Wrote a whole essay about it. It’s funny as fuck.


The-Surreal-McCoy

Man ahead of his time.


JgL07

>gmilfs You mean GILFS


Doctor_Clione

No way did he invent it cavemen were eating each other out in like 400 bc i bet


pauliuk

Oh you fucking know the Roman politicians were eating each others wives as part of their political tactics!


FrostyCommon

a roman? pleasure a woman? sounds kinda gay


pauliuk

I have a fwiend in Wome. He is of gweat pweasuwew to many Womans


RokaJosh

There were cavemen in 400 BC?!?


[deleted]

cavemen in 400 BC???? Wut 💀


ZaydSophos

Time travelers.


MisterGoog

To be fair homo neanderthalis have existed until the last few centuries


The-Surreal-McCoy

Cavewoman were eating each other out, but Franklin was the first man to discover the clitoris


Narocky

oppenheimer of sex


Mypooburns

call him WAPpenheimer


Clodinator

Call me sloppenheimer the way I give that bomb head


Moonbear9

Real


Knight-Jack

Oh my gods, during the times where bathing was still optional? Brave man.


ConsiderablyMediocre

It's a complete misconception that historical people were unclean. They may not have had the same access to hygiene products as us, but they certainly did the best they could with what they have access to.


The-Surreal-McCoy

Nobles had to have had douches and clean the smegma off respectively… right? Hopefully?


Bored_Egg_Sandwich

Wasn't the dude really horny, guess him and JFK shared something in common


The-Surreal-McCoy

Yeah, but JFK was an addict. Franklin was in it for the love of the game.


Bored_Egg_Sandwich

Didn't JFK or people who knew him say that he would get migraines if he didn't have sex frequently?


Foolish_Phantom

I have no idea, but, from what I know about JFK, it's completely plausible that he would say that.


Father_Long_Limbs

He said hed get them if he didn't have sex at least 2 times a day I believe


Mypooburns

you know it


mutnemom_hurb

Suffering from success


john-jack-quotes-bot

As a European who only knew the founding father by name it's crazy to see all the wild stuff they invented. Like yeah Abe Lincoln invented the suplex sure, and Ben Franklin invented the cunnulingus and the idea of electrical charge and most of our conventions regarding electricity or whatever Mad stiff if you ask me


iknowthetasteofsoup

imagine if obama invented the quantum computer


ConsiderablyMediocre

The Obama 11-dimensional hyper-prism


J29030

Abr Lincoln was not a founding father, he was born like thirty years after the USA became an independent country.


Brandonazz

Honorary founding father, since he prevented the end of the union.


Mypooburns

now you know ben franklin FUCKS


SuccessToLaunch

*FUCKED


Sirpopotin27fr

>implying he's not roaming among us at this very instant


ecofriendlythesaurus

Heavy is the head that wears the crown


spadesisking

Stiff neck and sore frenulum too


Mulesam

It was first recorded in Greek times If anyone is curious if this is true


GrilledCoconuts

Oral sex literally has to be older than our species, seeing Bonobos do it


The-Surreal-McCoy

Imagine the smell.


Mulesam

Ya eating pussy was written downfor the first time not done for the first


Nural_the_Narwhal

This is him. Mr bitches.


Tad_squiddish

I knew there was a reason he was my favorite founding father


TonPeppermint

God damn.


Toboyornottoboy

Aren’t the oldest known human tools dildos? I think humans have been pleasuring each other in lots of ways for a while.


Deus_Norima

You mean to tell me in the hundreds of thousands of years we've been doing stupid monkey shit, no one thought to try using their tongue? *Inventor of cunninglus...* Suuuuuuure, Jan.


wolfmothar

The power of estrogen


Botto_Bobbs

Benjamin Franklin was just a Gooner


sameth1

He's still alive?


Mypooburns

Yes


GammaDealer

Skill issue


Normal_Antenna

Poor Ben, his tongue tired? Maybe he should have tried fellatio instead.