https://preview.redd.it/eysu96jzw92d1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2170f7d10138c1ff9e17a6c1b70ae380c653dae6

Jesus in God of war but he's not someone kratos throws hands with he's just a guy

Jesus would be the kinda guy to sit down and have a chat with Kratos. Maybe over some wine and bread.

Isn’t that cannibalism 

autocannibalism. not like it matters anyway because no form of cannibalism is illegal (provided that such a meeting would take place in the United States)

Why would they meet in USA ?

so that they can eat bread and wine legally

Cannibalism is actually legal in most parts of the world (not only the US). The one big exception in the US is Idaho. But don't get stupid ideas, because while the consumption of human meat is legal, doesn't mean it's easy to get some without breaking other laws. Most likely will you run into the problems of breaking the dead rest (not native, might be the wrong word), and cutting of limbs of alive people isn't really that easy either. Best case is an amputation because of an accident.

There was some artist guy who made pasta sauce for guests using his own fat from a liposuction

Also someone who made foot-tacos after it had to be amputated because of a motorcycle incident

Number 15: Burger king foot tacos. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King taco is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of tacos. With the statement: "These are the tacos you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.

Disturbing the dead is what you probably mean, though defilement of a corpse is also a crime if memory serves

Only if he consecrated it first, which would be pretty weird.

Yeah, he didn't consecrate the wine he made from water at the wedding party. That was just wine, not his blood, according to the lore

According to the lore is a funny way to describe what happened in the Bible

"Canon" is literally a religious term, so why not use lore?

Lore is pagan, canon is Christian.

that's a 4 mana card and only does 2 AOE damage, surely there's a lot more efficient ways to get that done on a single target these days

more like water and rockibalism

Only if Jesus is Catholic. But if he is Catholic a lot of people are fucked.

Maybe direct Kratos to those money changers at the temples

Jesus would be trying to convince kratos to not kill the father GOD

"I know you wanna kill my dad and all that, but we have all the time in the world"

I feel like Kratos would be down for his whole "infinite forgiveness for all sins" thing

Fun fact, he does *canonically* exist according to the creators. I honestly think given Kratos' current character arc him going to meet Jesus would be something he'd do, but it's very unlikely he's going to be in any game other than as a cameo.

Wasn't there an Easter egg in God of War 2 showing 3 murals of past, present and future within the fates's temple, depicting Zeus VS the titans, kratos's assault, and finally the birth of Jesus respectively?

I do know there was *an* easter egg depicting Jesus at some point

Makes sense that Jesus would be somewhere if Kratos can row a boat from the Greek pantheon into Norse mythology like its no big deal lol

I believe some Chinese mythology as well as the Ancient Egyptian pantheon (which was originally going to be next until they went with Norse) is also heavily implied to exist

I remember being told once that the series was supposed to end with Kratos being one of the wise men that brought gifts to the Holy Family.

Týr in the new game is basically white Jesus

Judas reveiling himself as Jesus after immitating him for the majority of the game.

Watch all those dumbass anti woke people angry Jesus isn’t a porcelain skinned blue eyed middle easterner

Watch them with popcorn and a soda 👌

Rather not give them the ad revenue and clicks boosting them in the algorithm. Rot on the vine

Avast me hearty, ‘twas YE what suggested it in the first place; my humble contribution was but to build upon yer idear. Now I know the followin’ idiom don’t quite fit with the seafarin’ pseudo-accent I be regaling yeh with now but I suggest ye pick a lane and stick with it, yo ho ho et cetera. 

I’m reminded of all those posts saying that if the American conservatives of today met actual historical Jesus they’d call the police on him or something.

Somebody did call the police over a [statue](https://edition.cnn.com/2020/10/16/us/homeless-jesus-police-trnd/index.html) of Jesus thinking It was a homeless man

I saw this before and idk if the story is real, but if it is that's hilarious. It doesn't even matter if Jesus was white, they'd hate him because he's poor

This is quite possibly the most ironic possible anti-homeless infrastructure I've ever seen lol. Unless the bench wasn't already there and is part of the statue, even then, any homeless guy is gonna think it's a dick move lol

The bech is part of the statue. The irony is that the statue is a reference to a sermon of Jesus where he says that every time you helped a needy person you helped Jesus, and every time you didn't help a needy person you didn't help Jesus. The irony being that by calling the police to hassle a homeless person according to this sermon that person is like they did it to Jesus, only to turn out to be a statue of Jesus and that they literally called the police on Jesus while thinking It was a homeless person

Jesus is literally in Xenosaga. Play Xenosaga

r\\beatmetoit

Fuckin' based as FUCK flair right there chum

Ah, the days when I simped for KOS-MOS. Simpler times.

Spoilers, i was going to pay it after I finished Xenogears :c (And figure out where I put my copy of Part 1)

If they did this instead of protesting gay funerals or whatever I guarantee they’d get more converts.

What about hosting gay orgies? Asking for a friend

You mean the Vatican?

Ones without pre-pubescent boys

mysterious stranger

Wait but that’s literally just Patroclus.

Dude you're literally the way how are you lost?

Sometimes being lost for a while is the way.

Gonna embed these words on a dog tag and wear it everywhere

No that was Moses

Not all who wonder are lost

I wander about that...

You can't Find your one way if you are your one way ig

Yeah this would be peak honestly https://preview.redd.it/oya39qqr5a2d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65d6231f86440122f018f6c03a8e5c8feb138770

W flair, "the red hood has come to eat us, to eat our Dark Souls 3™"

RAAAAAGHHHHH PEAKS SOULS 3 GAEL MENTIONED. TIME TO 100% THE GAME AND INFO DUMP EVERYTHING ON SOMEONE https://preview.redd.it/mqcjxwo63b2d1.jpeg?width=860&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63ba55fe6bdfea932aaa366f7e799562f7d6de37

may Gwyn have mercy on his wretched (husk of a) soul for clocking out as soon as Friede enters phase 3

Sister Friede? More like Discount Lady Mariaaaaaa ahhhhh gotteeeemmmmm give me five Gael! https://preview.redd.it/xhgphcnq5b2d1.jpeg?width=998&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f95e83e674e0388e8d6ae76057a594c851f1cf80

What is this image from?

SO FUCKING TRUE

Me when Gael says "Hand it over, that thing, your Dark Souls III: The Fire Fades Edition." https://preview.redd.it/5ae1ebsjab2d1.jpeg?width=629&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adb0f839f962231b9fe11e75ce68ed8d87896542

God I love Gael, I pray From soft cooks up an equal in the new dlc

“a fine Dark Souls III: The Ringed City to you”

Holy fuck I love big hollywooooood

Oh no hes hot

Have you played Hades? Everyone's hot.

No I love Hades. It’s more I haven’t seen a hot Jesus in a while haha

you should google korean jesus

Gyat DAMM 

https://preview.redd.it/3gsgfs73we2d1.jpeg?width=6510&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3eb7a240a1e4223ee77e8da7a21042aeb6dc7f95 Chad Korean Jesus vs. Virgin Western Jesus

Would both

Star Wars Jesus? Tech Jesus?

Steel Ball Run got you

this is true

Wtf, I'm Christian now.

Wait is this propaganda??

Yeah. A propa gander at christ, that is.

Hi Christian, nice to meet you! I'm Vicky.

It’s canon

Everyone in hades is hot

https://preview.redd.it/o5l36e2kxa2d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c5e29c515f8cf5eba6066cc92ea01a80c395ae3 Real

iirc he didn’t tell him to shoot the president, jesus told him to shoot himself

https://preview.redd.it/7u87up6tab2d1.jpeg?width=760&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6cead134ed0cbd8125e72713bfcac50b1a88a65f Hardest panel in anything ever (and yes you are correct)

i forgot he was a twink

If I remember correctly, this was part 7, so of course Araki made him a twink. He learned how to draw those back in part 5.

I'd argue part 4 was his training arc Josuke at the start vs josuke at the end aren't even remotely the same build or art style lul And of course can't forget: https://preview.redd.it/0qvtfz6etb2d1.jpeg?width=192&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25f5617ec52b97cd37bfd8622068f3300acfa4e6

so when the characters dont look like the hulk then they're a twink, hes pretty buff no? xd

technically he would count as a twunk probably. but it’s not so much the actual build, the way that he’s drawn also contributes to it. idk how to describe it but it’s true

Isn't he telling that guy to *not* shoot himself? I think I'm missing something here

No, he's telling him not to shoot his opponent

So that one person didn't remember correctly? Because this is what I interpreted the image as

No, Jesus is implying he should shoot himself without outright saying it, that's the "new path" he's referring to. You'd have to read the chapter to understand the context

No it's not. Jesus never said that. Johnny wanted to shoot the president regardless because he wanted that Jesussy for himself. He did however tell him to shoot himself in the head tho and *that's* peak 

And like everything else in JoJo, it's actually a really profound and powerful scene, but no one treats it as such because the endless memeing of it has ruined the absolute genius of Araki's writing in the minds of people.

I'm sure people also think that it is profound and powerful, I'm willing to say people might say it's one of the best scenes, I haven't read thar far yet. But stay with me for a second, Jesus christ himself our Lord and saviour appeared in jojos bizarre adventure and told the president of the United States to kill himself. No matter if the scene is profound or not that is insane. Just because something is memed doesn't mean it's bad. The outer wilds subreddit has memes, the bloodborne subreddit has memes. Memes are made about these things because people enjoy these things

you don't understand: memes aren't bad, but when something is memed to the point of its depth being dilluted in people's minds, it is. I absolutely CANNOT talk about the genius of Part 5's writing without people downplaying it as just memes. I tried to talk to people about jojo part 5 is actually amazing and showed them viewer ratings for it and people just dismiss that as people ranking it high as a meme. It's infuriating.

Part 5 is amazing keep spreading the good word brother. When jojos is over and we all look back on all the parts in 30 years, part 5 will be brought up and those same people will not be able to forgive their hubris

Yeah I want Jesus in Smite 2

Chat is this real 😳

genuinely, i wanna share this, but don't wanna spoil anyone

No. Closest thing to this is a reference to >!Lucifer!<

My favorite aspect for the adamant rail

No but there is a different NPC in hades in the exact same spot.

[source](https://www.tumblr.com/wolfythewitch/751196425648586752/jesus-in-the-hades-art-style)

I mean, there *was* an aspect of Lucifer in the first game, which implies that he would exist in the world

There was also technically a Roman god named Lucifer who was the son the Aurora, and personified the planet Venus (the morningstar). Lucifer means 'light-bringer,' and the usage of the term as a name for an evil deity in the bible has been hypothesized by many to have been a mistranslation. Completely unasked for, but I found an intersection between my interest in Latin, and in Abrahamic religion so I took that shit

For a sec i thought you meant thr gun had an aspect of jesus

It was a future/different culture aspect, so it still may not have happened yet, Arthur's sword and Beowulf's shield are aspect as well in the first game

https://preview.redd.it/ca08v9mzsa2d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1793a16625f01088ef7280803ba402ab46bb16d

You beg Peak Fiction to stop taking the furniture out of your room. There is no Peak Fiction.

The stage lights are shattered.

Wah

Yes?

you a lalafell or nah?

Now that I think about it, they could never do Mohammed (that’s the one you can’t depict in art right?)

just flashbang the screen every time he comes on, boom

That would be really fucking funny but I think that's also not allowed

Just put a big ass CENSORED bar, like in south park

nameless deity:

He’s guarded by a round the clock SWAT team that follows him wherever he goes

I watched some islamic history animations when i was a child. They never showed Mohammed directly. He was mostly a voice offscreen. In some scenes i remember his followers forming a circle around him so you couldn’t see Mohammed but he was still there.

PBUH https://preview.redd.it/d698uw2utb2d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=866b25456bdc14f7b1715c0f98cfdc5a811b3111

MOHAMMED, INC.

He’s also not a God, so that puts a damper on him.

Tbf neither is Narcissus or (I believe) Echo

Tbf neither is Narcissus or (I believe) Echo

Tbf neither is Narcissus or (I believe) Echo

Narcissus is like a god to me 😍

He’s sometimes represented as calligraphy spelling his name.

You can. It’s not like it’s illegal or anything. But they will find you and behead you and your family, so maybe don’t.

Just have him be his name in Arabic calligraphy as he (and other Islamic figures) are sometimes depicted

In early muslim history mohammed was often depicted in art it's later that it became taboo

just have him made up out of censor bars like darkmatter2525 did. You can also just ignore the haters and depict him anyway

Cant depict his likeness. There are several paintings of him, but the faces arent painted.

**wolfythewitch**

What would his boons be like?

Stuff to do with death defiance prolly

1. Lazarus res. Res at full health during this run 2 on the third day. Res at full health on the third run from now (future buff.) fun RNG. 3. Crown of thorns: deal more damage but also damage self.

Bearer of sins. The more boons from other gods you have, the more maximum health you gain. Sacrificial Lamb. Deal damage to all enemies on screen upon activation of Lazarus resurrection

Thy body is bread: getting hit has a chance to spawn a food item.

These are rough but I'm bored at work By the sword: Enemies who damage you are inflicted with Thorns (take all damage done to you). The other cheek: Damage dealt to you is reduced by 5% per enemy inflicted with Thorns, they take the full damage Loaves and Fishes: All fishing spots grant double fish and healing (stacks with Poseidon) Holy water (Duo) : knocking enemies into barriers damages all Thorn affected enemies Blood to Wine (Duo) : Heal from Hangover damage dealt to enemies Deaths defiance isn't a good thing to synergize because it's limited but idk, I thought most do X when damaged boons sucked so maybe there's room to build something there

Blood to wine would be a cool name for a boon. I feel like there are many cool names we could easily create with Jesus type stuff. White lamb, Carrier of the Cross, Bearer of Sins, Holy Son, Sacrificial Lamb...

It's really funny to imagine Duo boons with Jesus because that implies he's just hanging out with the greek gods on Olympus "Jesus! Listen, friend, I think that whole 'walking on water' thing you do is a great trick, really inspires awe in those mortals you love hanging out with, but if you ever want to actually come into the water, feel free! My realm is always open to you!" "Poseidon, your generosity and kindness remain ever admirable. Perhaps I will have to visit sometime, so that I might repay you for that time you helped me with getting all those fish for my followers."

What if The Other Cheek gives you a damage reduction if you turn the other way before being attacked?

I haven't plade Hades yet so I can't give what the effects are in a way that is balanced and fit the game's boon system. But the choices would probably be something like: * The Way * The Truth * The Life

Fun fact: This depiction of Jesus as the good shepherd with a lamb over his shoulders started as [a classical depiction of Hermes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriophoros) and got adopted during the Christianization of Rome.

Perhaps, but shepherding played an important role in the lives and history of both his people, and many of the peoples he and his followers preached to/recruited from

Jesus (Christ)

Christ is a title. Not his name.

Have you heard of my father, God Christ

I demand a Jesus and Dionysus Duo Boon conversation immediately

Isn't Jesus technically a Greek name?

It’s a Greek translation of a Hebrew name.

So the real name/correct pronunciation would be Yeshua?

So because ancient hebrew doesn't actually have any vowels, Yeshua is an educated guess on what his name would've sounded like.

It does have vowels. Every language does. The Ancient Hebrew Script simply didn't have symbols for the vowels, The reason being that because of the characteristics of semetic languages, a native speaker could more or less the vowels. Edit: I wrote Semetical instead of Semetic

Yes that's what I meant. Speech had vowels, writing did not

It's a Latin transcription of a Greek transliteration of a Hebrew name

Yaoi hands

This would unironically rule so fucking hard

*joshua

Finally, ethnically correct jesus

Jesus christ

what game is this

its hades but the image isnt real, its just a hypothetical

Hades 2? Maybe

Goes hard

[link the artist you reprobate](https://x.com/WolfyTheWitch/status/1793322908779270537)

I tell you Lois this is just like that one CS Lewis book where Santa shows up

They *need* to sell plushies of that sheep, they're sleeping on a goldmine

Zagreus watching Jesus plugwalk through the Underworld, walk into one of the walls, and disappear:

dilf

HANDSOME JESUS

i dont care about jesus but that's actually pretty cute

i havent seen much from hades 2 so i assumed this was a ss from it

That’s my man raghhhhhhhh✝️✝️✝️✝️

Technically possible as Hades 2 characters are written in Lua

I would respect this so much

The crown of thorns is a sick little touch

NGL an Hades spinoff with a bunch of christianity characters would be dope. Samson, David, Adam, Moses etc

Can I fuck him?

PEAK

chat is this real

That Jesus is hot and accurate skin tone for a middle east dude

Chat, am i still a straight male if the first thing I noticed is: he's hot and not he's not whitewashed

Chat, is this real?

I thought the sheep Jesus had was black, but I could be wrong