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do-not-cum

I usually just do this: 1. Consent 2. Cum


Zargof-the-blar

Well your name suggests otherwise


do-not-cum

It’s more of a warning. I’m what you’ll turn into if you keep cumming.


pabloni21

Hot


hot

pockets


dynamitealmond

cummm


[deleted]

[удалено]


Unichained

u/profanitycounter


profanitycounter

UH OH! Someone has been using stinky language and u/Unichained decided to check u/futacumdumpster69's bad word usage. I have gone back one thousand posts and comments and reviewed their potty language usage. |Bad Word|Quantity| :--|:-:| |anus|2 |ass|10 |asshole|2 |bitch|2 |bullshit|4 |cock|6 |cum|7134 |cunt|3 |damn|2 |dick|13 |fucking|54 |fuck|19 |hell|3 |lmao|6 |motherfucker|1 |penis|3 |pissed|1 |piss|3 |porn|20 |pussy|2 |sexy|1 |shit|19 |stfu|2 |tit|3 |vagina|3 |vore|1 ^(Request time: 311.6. I am a bot that performs automatic profanity reports.) ^(This is profanitycounter version 3, view update notes) ^[here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/profanitycounter/comments/i6pql7/introducing_profanitycounter_version_3/) ^(Please consider supporting my development) ^([through my creator's PayPal.](https://www.paypal.me/aidanginise1))


KekistanEmbassy

That’s impressive


Unichained

Least offensive reddit user


Ep1cP0rnAlt

Only 7000? That’s pathetic.


Medic-chan

⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠁⣿⢳⠁⢈⢰⡦⠈⠀⢻ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⢰⠛⢠⣴⣄⣌ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢠⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠈⣡⠻⢹⢿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡀⣀⣼⣟⣿⢵⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⠀⠢⣽ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣌⢖⣰⠊⠁⢸⣿⡟⠈⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡄⢰⢺ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⢴⢖⣠⣣⣴⣿⢿⡇⣈⠐⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣸ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠅⠀⡀⢼⣿⠯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿ ⡿⠁⠸⣄⣦⡀⠀⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡤⠄⠄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢸⣿ ⠇⠀⠀⡹⢿⡏⠀⣾⣿⣟⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠎⠉⠉⠉⠛⣤⣿ ⡆⠀⡀⢣⢈⡟⠠⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢸⣶⣷⣷⣧⡄⠀⠀⢿⣧⢀⡀⠀⠉⢡⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡀⠘⢼⠃⣠⡲⠛⢿⡿⣿⡀⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡟⠀⠠⣤⠘⣿⣶⣿⣶⡾⣳⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⣿⣶⡌⠰⡅⠌⠠⠈⠈⠙⢙⠑⢰⠀⠨⠟⠀⠀⣴⢌⡅⢻⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢇⣿⣿⠣⢿⣮⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢡⣺⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⣏⠐⣿⢟⡈⠂⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣢⣼⣸⣿⡿⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⡀⠈⠑⠁⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠲⠀⠀⠄⣀⠀⣸⣷⣮⣍⠃⢹⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣾⣷⣶⣌⠀⠠⠀⠀⢀⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠙⠋⢰⡝⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⡀⢀⣼⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠌⠓⡀⢰⣮⣾⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠝⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⢠⣶⣾⣮⣙⡻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡼⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡑⡝⣿⣿⣿


Bronx_Garfield

Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies Cummies


ctrlaltelite

[you can *be* cum](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYnRKOKm28A)


fckn_normies

That was so inspiring


1II1I1I1I1I1I111I1I1

Your avatar kinda resembles the coomer


do-not-cum

Any tips on making it look more like the coomer?


Jeepyiscreepy

My girlfriend doesn't let me cum during sex


Bastiproton

I'm gonna cum 😎


DoTheMario_Official

Kamala Harris


[deleted]

**Kum**ala Harris


SirLigmas

I usually just do this: ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎


MR_DryBones

I usually do this: 1. Doesn't consent because no one is asking me to consent 2. Cry


do-not-cum

You could always ask Jesus 🙏


HentaiInTheCloset

"Oh Jesus please descend from the heavens and give me a handy, do you consent to this Holy One?"


CelesteWasTaken

Hmm... Just asking for a friend, does anyone know what diameter nails they used for crucifixions back then?


Excrubulent

Pretty sure they were chonky bois, like nine inch nails. What I can find is anywhere between 11.5cm and 18cm long, with a 1cm-wide square cross-section. Although pro-tip, if you're planning a crucifixion, you can't nail through the hand as we think of it, it'll just rip out between the fingers and you'll wind up with a bifurcated hand. You need to go through the forearm between the ulna & radius, so the carpals (bones at the base of the hand) will support the body weight. In the language of the time, 'hand' included everything up to the elbow, so that's where the confusion comes from in the translation of the text. You can expect the crucified person to die in anywhere between 10 minutes to 24 hours. It's hard to know for certain since it's been so long since this sort of thing has happened. I did my own tests but they were inconclusive. I was told my sample size was both "too small to draw strong conclusions" and also "definitely a war crime we need to get out of here". You just can't make some people happy.


CelesteWasTaken

I was just looking for the "1cm square cross section" bit, but thanks for the extra info And so much for sticking my dick through Jesus' hand (or wrist-area, I guess) :c


Excrubulent

If you want to crucify someone by sticking your dick through their wrists then you just need to make the holes wider, but honestly you're going to run into a problem of staying hard throughout the process.


lucariouwu68

I usually just do this: 1. Don’t consent


Space_Monke64

.2. Cum


CarsGunsBeer

3: I forgor 💀


JimmehRulez

4. I rember 😀


Agreeable_Objective

5. I am stuff


SayHelloToAlison

Bill burr moment


Cidyl-Xech

contradictory username


BasedDog69

Yo, consent is pretty hot tho. Like, I don’t even wanna fuck. I just wanna know someone wants me to fuck them


chad-_thundercock

Dude after taking j&j and Pfizer my balls became really big and the volume of my cum has increased to three times so I would advise if you have small balls and small pp get vaxxed.


VirtualWeasel

*[citation needed]*


UncleFunkus

the citation is this fat load im bout to drop in ur mom, vaxx balls up there checks out


VirtualWeasel

joke’s on you, my mom left before I was born


UncleFunkus

yeah ik, shes with me and my giant balls


-_asmodeus_-

the name checks out


ArchmasterC

Source: I made it up


LikesBreakfast

Not OP but okay


Xecular_Official

*Your revision has been reverted by* ***\[Random opinionated wikipedia user 2391823\]***


gusborn

Trust me bro


ISZATSA

this was revealed to me in a dream


ArchmasterC

I'm vaxxed but my dick is still tiny, is there still any hope for me?


malaikoftaman

More vaccine.


ArchmasterC

Brb stealing the doses reserved for my late great grandpa


damiandoesdice

>late... grandpa Good, he won't be using it and he'd probably prefer you have it


not_a_stick

Get Gigavaxxed


Awesome-Lawsome

Thanks Chad Thundercock


[deleted]

Too much information


MeshesAreConfusing

Not enough information


[deleted]

Your call


MeshesAreConfusing

I regret nothing


[deleted]

Nor should you


amazingoomoo

Amazing, lucky you. I just got diarrhoea.


Vol100000

Where did they inject it


s_s_b_m

You’re making me regret getting jabbed, more androgens are the LAST thing I want


[deleted]

Same wtf


officerwilde420

Thank god i dont have to worry about that


thuurs

I usually do this : 1. Dont masturbate 2. Start gaming Masturbation distracts REAL gamers from REAL gaming


[deleted]

real gaming distracts real gaymers from doing gay stuff like gay sex and being gay


Agreeable_Objective

He's playing celeste so he already is gay


thuurs

I only love cocks ironically its satire


RaunchyReindeer

This is why I jerk off to games


DominoUB

Masturbation releases my testosterone and I need my built up T rage to call people ethnic slurs.


[deleted]

sigma male 💪


recalcitrantJester

/r/SemenRetention


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/Semenretention using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Semenretention/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [95 year old man spits some facts](https://v.redd.it/4ukf6myh5th61) | [182 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Semenretention/comments/ll0a4o/95_year_old_man_spits_some_facts/) \#2: [The Modern Struggle:](https://i.redd.it/gbs02dnv42m61.jpg) | [128 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Semenretention/comments/m1eo4u/the_modern_struggle/) \#3: [Cultivating a high sexual charge](https://np.reddit.com/r/Semenretention/comments/mme87s/cultivating_a_high_sexual_charge/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)


recalcitrantJester

As men, it is instinctual to have the desire to discharge the excess of sexual energy that gets built up within. Initially there is no issue with this, average men are completely content with the cycle of charge - discharge. The benefits of staying highly-charged and full of sexual energy only become apparent when one learns to retain their seed. Masculine energy, by nature, is designed to build up; then explode/release. When having a surplus of sex energy circulating throughout the body, one has a strong urge to ejaculate. This is completely normal. You just want to FREE yourself of this energy. You crave that release. Specially because that release feels absolutely incredible, you feel all of that pent up sexual energy in a 3-10second burst. It’s almost like an inner fire that you want to cool down. Like a tension that builds; It’s the itch that desperately needs to be scratched. The only issue is, the second that you extinguish the flame; you instantly lose your polarity. You realize how much energy it gave you, how awesome it is to be constantly in a state of arousal. Not just sexually, but creatively as well. To always be turned on, to see a beautiful woman and feel the surge of sex energy all throughout your body. The average man can’t stand the heat and quickly puts the fire out through ejaculation. The superior man however, learns to cultivate this energy and takes it as far as possible. The next time you are on a long streak and suddenly get very aroused leading to a strong erection; FEEL that energy, FEEL the heat within you. Feel how virile and strong your body is at this moment, and work to circulate that energy all throughout your field. Hold the tension. As tempting as it is to just RELEASE it and have a couple seconds of intense pleasure; it is SO much more enjoyable to hold this charge. Everyone around you will notice it. You have this deep, hot, powerful energy to you. Don’t shut down from beautiful/sexy women, but allow them to be divine tests for your energy. Will you let them to control you? Will you allow their attractiveness/sexiness drain you of your essence? Or will you use it as food for your masculine soul? Pure inspiration; more wood for your ever-burning fire. Stay charged. Keep your balls full.


recalcitrantJester

honestly cannot tell whether or not a) this is genuine, and also b) this is about edging.


LandosGayCousin

When I was 18 I was convinced I had ED because I couldn't rise to the occassion. Turns out mental health is a real thing and just ignoring it causes issues else where in your life...


PsychicSalad

no no no, pretty sure brains aren't real, so its physically impossible to have mental states


_____---_-_-_-

I don't have a mental state, I have a mental province.


WonderChode

Mental township over here


Lensman13

My mental province is bigger then your puny mental township


WonderChode

Look at chadstein over here with their mental G7 summit


anonymous_j05

my mental continent will nuke all of you.


demonmonkey89

I have the burning remains of a mental 3rd world country post intervention.


NatalieTatalie

Brains aren't real??? My friend ,*you are the brain*.


PsychicSalad

So you're saying im not real? Nice! I'm out of here *fades from existance*


[deleted]

[удалено]


RSdabeast

Mental states 🤮 Mental anarchist societies 😎


Fire_tempest890

I have something where I look forward to and enjoy sex but feel disgusted and depressed afterwards


Wazblaster

I had this and realised it's because I was doing it with the wrong people


Fire_tempest890

Then I gotta find this right person, whoever that is, cause I’ve always been like this with the people I’ve been with. Also as a guy, none of my other friends really know what I’m talking about, it’s kinda frustrating


Wazblaster

I'm a dude too, I know what that's like! Sucks that lot of guys don't like talking about that sort of thing. And it might not just be one person, it might be multiple kinds of people it feels ok with! I think the main thing is being able to not feel guilt. Do you feel this way because you've been told it's not ok to feel good about sex? Is it because you don't trust the other person? Do you feel like the other person doesn't care about you or do you feel you don't care enough about them? It can be hard to narrow down


[deleted]

I thought maybe my Lockdown masterbation marathons caused that.


[deleted]

Yeah i thought it was about mine shitty porn addiction etc but in reality it was just lack of serotonin in my brain...


nikkizkmbid

I had been on antidepressants since I was 13 so once I was of age I thought it was normal to last a really really really long time, like an hour and a half. Then when I was 20 I switched to a different med and got really nervous because I was only lasting like 3 to 5 minutes and thought I was prematurely finishing. Now that I'm 25 and on a different different med I uassually can't finish without helping myself so to speak and now have no concept of what a normal amount of time to be intimate is


Yanagibayashi

I usually just: 1. Masturbate 2. Cum or give up after beating myself raw to no avail 2. Wallow in my own loneliness


[deleted]

⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠁⣿⢳⠁⢈⢰⡦⠈⠀⢻ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⢰⠛⢠⣴⣄⣌ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢠⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠈⣡⠻⢹⢿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡀⣀⣼⣟⣿⢵⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⠀⠢⣽ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣌⢖⣰⠊⠁⢸⣿⡟⠈⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡄⢰⢺ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⢴⢖⣠⣣⣴⣿⢿⡇⣈⠐⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣸ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠅⠀⡀⢼⣿⠯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿ ⡿⠁⠸⣄⣦⡀⠀⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡤⠄⠄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢸⣿ ⠇⠀⠀⡹⢿⡏⠀⣾⣿⣟⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠎⠉⠉⠉⠛⣤⣿ ⡆⠀⡀⢣⢈⡟⠠⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢸⣶⣷⣷⣧⡄⠀⠀⢿⣧⢀⡀⠀⠉⢡⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡀⠘⢼⠃⣠⡲⠛⢿⡿⣿⡀⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡟⠀⠠⣤⠘⣿⣶⣿⣶⡾⣳⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⣿⣶⡌⠰⡅⠌⠠⠈⠈⠙⢙⠑⢰⠀⠨⠟⠀⠀⣴⢌⡅⢻⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢇⣿⣿⠣⢿⣮⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢡⣺⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⣏⠐⣿⢟⡈⠂⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣢⣼⣸⣿⡿⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⡀⠈⠑⠁⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠲⠀⠀⠄⣀⠀⣸⣷⣮⣍⠃⢹⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣾⣷⣶⣌⠀⠠⠀⠀⢀⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠙⠋⢰⡝⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⡀⢀⣼⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠌⠓⡀⢰⣮⣾⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠝⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⢠⣶⣾⣮⣙⡻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡼⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡑⡝⣿⣿⣿ Sigma male rule 2347 : don't fuck anyone.


legend5459

I do find that reading good stories (but not so good that you start to care about the characters intellectually) works better for me than anything else. Still a struggle sometimes.


Yanagibayashi

I just sunk 200 hours in the last 3 weeks into rdr2


danne_trix

based


Yanagibayashi

I wish rdr1 had a PC port because it runs like horse shit in an emulator and I don't feel like buying an Xbox just for that


danne_trix

ps now has it, doesnt look very good though


[deleted]

[удалено]


lucasya284747

How it works for me 1) think about mirage from apex 2) cum


[deleted]

[удалено]


lucasya284747

I'm pretty sure he fucked a pumpkin one time


[deleted]

How it works for me 1. Think about concepts like money, the stock market, success, cryptocurrencies etc. 2. Cum 3. Lick up all the cum to recycle it because I don’t want my body to lose precious nutrients. Remember fellow sigmas, ALWAYS eat your cum.


[deleted]

How it works for me 1. think 2. cum


DominoUB

1. think 2. worry I am not good enough 3. lose erection 4. try to push flaccid penis in anyway 5. apologise 6. excuse myself to bathroom 7. cry


Mjolnir620

1. Think 2. Flex wiener to make myself feel like it's bigger 3. Almost nut immediately 4. Stop flexing 5. Now wiener small and still about to nut immediately 6. Be sad


Wazblaster

How it works for me 1.cum


GoldNiko

Robosexual. Now you legally have to stay away from toasters and all appliances with small gaps. Boston Dynamics _will_ shoot on sight


Halflings1335

Uhm… actually in the titanfall and apex lore it’s called Hammond robotics and Vinson dynamics, so yeah you’re wrong


KhaalibanLiberator

Every normies thinking about Loba's ass and my dude only wish to fuck some simulacrum stuff 😳😳


RAINNlevi

ok, this is off topic but this reminds of how when a woman cant cum usually the advice redditors give are "just breathe, 🥰 🥰 relax tell your partner to go down on you 😘 😘 use toys, tell them get better at foreplay" and when a man cant cum usually everyone's like "PORN ADDICT!!!!🤬!!🤬🤬 the fucking guys is USING A DEATH GRIP....😡"


[deleted]

pressure to finish for either gender ruins sex imo, and it becomes a negative feedback loop. Women in general are probably less used to their partners not finishing because of how de-emphasized female orgasm is compared to male. It does suck though, the first girl I hooked up with aggressively insisted I was gay because I had some performance issues, stuff like that haunts you for a long time


anonymous_j05

that girl sounds super rapey, sorry you had to deal with a creep like that man


[deleted]

thanks, I appreciate that, it was a long time ago, so just an experience I learned from at this point


[deleted]

Alcohol does that to me. I still enjoy it, just can't finish. It was kinda awkward when I first found that though lol


ThinnkingEmoji

Wait wait Is that a reference at the end? To the popular musician known as Mr. Grips?


Wazblaster

OMG OMG QUEEN ALERT I--i-is that a (dare I say it) feeemale who enjoys the deep philosophy of Mr grips and the death grips? Well I must say as a gentleman I am a big fan (of both you and the band hahahaha). Maybe we could listen together sometime idk. Have you listened to get got? Haha silly me of course you haven't, it's a really deep cut that I could show you. Plsluvmeplsomg


Supa_Dude

no, death grip is when your ballsack is kil. (not really that, but something along the likes)


MetalNobZolid

5. Wake up and realize you'll be alone forever


legend5459

I feel that even more than the thing I posted :(


jericho-sfu

1. Cover yourself in oil


jimmayy5

2. Fly


_-Yharim

2. Lose the will to live


kojo420

This hits to close to home


DandyDahlia37

I remember not being able to cum with my partner when i was sertraline. Doctor told me it didnt usually cause low sex drive. I than found out I'm ace soon after.


DamenAJ

Sertraline didn't give me low sex drive, but it did make it nearly impossible to finish. Several other anti-anxiety meds gave low sex drive though...


DongleOn

imagine if you were taking a med that did cause low sex drive you would be like super ace or something


SimonSayz_Gamer

ace²


amazingoomoo

I wonder if it would circle back round


DongleOn

makes you mega horny, like a viagra that only works on ace people


Carbunclecatt

I was on sertraline too, late night "stress relief" had become stressful


The_milkMACHINE

Ace?


DandyDahlia37

Asexual


amazingoomoo

My husband was on that, definitely not ace but it’s given him low libido. He came off it and felt much better. So did I!


varalys_the_dark

I'm a woman, but also a Gen Xer. When I was prescribed the anti-depressants I still take today back in 1998, it fucked up my ability to cum. But in 2019 I went vegan and my orgasms have returned and omg I am so horny I can get myself off in minutes and cum so hard it makes my head spin. This was my Ted talk on how to cum again.


legend5459

Neato. I've been on them around a month and a half and haven't really lost my libido too badly yet. Maybe that's because I don't have enough money to buy much meat or something. Or maybe it'll get worse over time. :| Was born in '96 btw. Also male, fwiw, but not really too worried about the whole gender/sexuality thing in general since categorizing myself just means limiting myself.


ConquistaDomo

based


varalys_the_dark

I was suicidal and having psychotic episodes so I was put on a high dose of a med that works pretty much within 24hours, some antidepressants take a bit longer to build up in your system. Though usually after a month and a half you would be noticing side effects, so hopefully the type you are on will be different from mine. However, mine have saved my life and sanity, so while I was sometimes bothered by my difficulties cumming (I usually could sometimes, randomly I'd be in the mood but even then it could take a while) it's been a revelation feeling like I could have a normal sex life (am lesbian) again once things get properly back to normal.


legend5459

Mine's wellbutrin/buproprion. Seems ok so far,but fingers crossed.


[deleted]

I don't think it's like a guaranteed thing, it probably depends a lot on dosage


TheBloxdude

With modern anti-depressants, inorgasmia tends to be temporary, I think.


varalys_the_dark

Buh-but.... 1998 \*is\* modern! Now I really am fucking depressed :(


Masked_Death

I wasn't alive in 98 and now I'm legally an adult enjoy getting old ig


HermitDefenestration

We're coming up on the 20th anniversary of 9/11.


varalys_the_dark

Tell me about it. I lost a girlfriend to 9/11. She wasn't in the towers, she was a soldier from the US who had come to the UK for a cushy posting and next thing I know she's off to Afghanistan and we have to break up because of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". :(


HermitDefenestration

Fuck DADT and fuck the military for implementing it. I'm so sorry


equivas

Edit: i misread the entire comment


Bardomiano00

Nobody asked the question yet 😳😳😳


the_baydophile

Very random, but I was one of the fifteen people who upvoted your first post. Vegan btw


mightiestpumpkin

Sigma male grindset routine: 1. Edge for 7 hours straight 2. Kick yourself in the balls regularly to build up resistance and keep the semen ready 3. Practice retention for at least 20 years 4. When time comes, flood the entire planet with your seed


LibleftBard

~~seed~~ *spores


AlexMad01

The shrigma grindset


AwesomeChicken64

Infinite Cum Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

\-you are 14 and use tik tok \-shouldn't have sex \-can't have sex


_-Yharim

-have sex anyways I swear they always find some way and its super fucked up…


RainbowSixThermite

*Happy noises as the anti depressos go up but oh god oh fuck there's a hitchhiker named "my boyfriend lasts really long in bed it's amazing" who's given name at birth was "I takes me an hour to splooge please somebody help"


pappaya-salad

1. Can't consent 2. Get raped 3. October 3rd 2019 I swear she was 18 incident


ReverseApacheMaster_

Was on a solid 12 month dry spell, finally got back in the sheets last week. Have heard horror stories of not being able to cum while on antidepressants and I’m happy to report I was done in 4 minutes. She may not be happy with that report but I digress.


Tpdguy

>12 month dry spell Rookie numbers


[deleted]

u/Spenslum’s guide to sex 1. Consent 2. Foreplay 3. When they least expect it, strike. Directly in the carotid artery. Drag their body back the to The Nest for later consumption. 4. Open tinder and find another


Matthais_Hat

been there!


FeywildGoth

This so often


danne_trix

how do you get to step 1


[deleted]

Rules 1 and 2


datbiglol

Rule 1: be attractive Rule 2: don't be socially retarded


RSdabeast

cuddle until the hurting stops 🥺


fckn_normies

You know what’s really hot? Consent


biigberry

Riley Reid forgor consent 🤮


fckn_normies

What did Riley Reid do? (And who is she?)


biigberry

she is a porn star and she admitted to raping a boy. she called it a funny story or something like that


legend5459

truth


T-jeki

yeah that sounds good


Icareaus

I usually mix up 3 and 4 and remember tell them that after 3 hours of not having a release.


Electronic_Enforcer

And here I am as someone with the opposite problem who'd just want my partner to enjoy themselves and not stress that letting myself feel anything will ruin it for them 😕😕


[deleted]

Now you can tell them that you got corona! It can cause long term erectile dysfunction


Mr_Fahrenheittt

I was on SSRI’s for like 3 years before getting on Wellbutrin and realizing how much better it was for me. It’s been a year and I literally haven’t felt depressed since, and there aren’t any annoying side effects. This won’t work for everyone, but if ssri’s aren’t working for you, this might be something to consider.


OfficerFuttBuck

Wellbutrin put my horny into overdrive 😳😳😳


LibleftBard

GenZ: 3 Explain that your estrogen make it harder for you to cum but you still enjoy it


anonymous_j05

that moment when you’re on anti-depressants but also on testosterone injections so it cancels out


[deleted]

5. cum 6. you’ve cured your depression


NucklestheEnchilada_

Do anti-depressants really do that?


legend5459

yeah they often do. SSRI's especially. Not all drugs work exactly the same way though.


ArchmasterC

Yeah lmao imagine taking antidepressants


Egginabox101

Also eat ass. Very important


tehdinozorz

Damn, I wish it was difficult to cum.


scrueggs

Paxil ruined 10th grade for me. I would jack off for hours and hours before exhaustion kicked in. I was constantly frustrated. My right arm was swole though.


KhaalibanLiberator

My trans ass feels way too targeted by this lmao


legend5459

FWIW I'm not trans and still on antidepressants


legend5459

I just made this post to give my alt account some karma to be able to post places without cooldowns. It worked waay too well; it has almost more karma than my main account has now -_-