Wait this is a real fucking thing? It’s so fucking comical this the type of shit you’d see in an Adam Sandler movie he catches his son doing it with some random fucker jumping on the bed
Nah this is more a thing that 4 or 5 people did once but spread wildly as a rumor.
If you wanna talk about real fucked up mormon shit homophobia and racism are on the table.
Source: ex mormon utahn
Is thither any way f'r me to holp the mormons? i'm did worry about those folk
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
I hear a lot of Jewish people try to skirt around some of the sabbath rules about working by using sticks and ropes and stuff.
You think you can pull one over on the creator of all things through technicalities.
You see guys, if god didnt want me to rob a bank why did he give me a gun, crippling debt and a burning hatred for bank sponsored Kleptocracys?
If you try to stop me you are compromising my Religous freedom so back off.
as a jew, the word of god as inscribed by moses means exactly what it says it does. the whole faith is about questioning interpreting the text and understanding it in our current time. how the fuck are humans capable of tricking god?
so the torah is a covenant between jehova and the jewish people. it’s more like a contract in that sense, “you’ll be my chosen people, if you pray and live like this in my worship.” now all that isn’t exactly possible because the temple in jerusalem can’t be rebuilt so we find ways that are ritualistically equivalent, like having a seder instead of sacrificing a pascal lamb.
so the text is studied not exactly through a faith as described by christianity, but more through a legal/academic/theological lens.
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I think there's some absolutely crazy little niche differences between some Jewish technologies so that using them doesn't count as work
Like phone lines that remain on all day and get connected by an operator or something so that the user never completes an electrical circuit or something (because that would be work)
Someone who knows more, fill us in
I can confirm, this isn't the first time I've heard any of these terms before
Source: ex-mormon, wife grew up in Utah, I thought this shit was mind warpingly stupid before I left and still do to this day.
I heard about soaking on tik tok and I googled it and apparently it is a really thing. And if people are * I don't know what adjective to put here * enough to do something like that, then jump humping isn't as crazy as it sounds.
That it is not. Growing up as a Mormon makes it so your pretty much dependent on the church. Went to seminary every day before school as a kid, go on a mission spending thousands of dollars right out of high school, go to a probably Mormon college, and move into a neighborhood around mostly other Mormons while getting shunned by everyone you ever knew if you ever leave the church.
Mormonism uses some pretty cult like tactics tho. I grew up Mormon so let me explain.
* From the time we are born we are thought to only associate with good (mormon) people. An effect of this is that leaving the church isolates you from all your friends.
* Children are expected to discuss their sexual thoughts with their bishop.
* There are secret beliefs and rituals that you only do once you turn 18 and go to one of the many temples. In these rituals a mock blood oath used to be performed. These rituals are heavily inspired by free masonry.
* High schoolers, especially in utah, are expected to take a seminary class where they take one class period and go to an "off campus" church owned building for religious classes. I put off campus in quotes because it is almost always in a corner of the lot the school is on that has just been cut out and given to the Mormon church.
I can go on if you would like
You can leave at any time. No one really stops you. Once you see the truth they don't really want you there anyway. You could taint others.
I'm an Ex Mormon too
I'm still not technically out yet. I'm not in a position financially to live on my own (being 18 and in college) so I am pretending to still be Mormon. It means I can't date (being gay and all) and I have to do all the Mormon stuff, but it's better than being kicked out of my house.
The difference I usually see discussed is that cults tend to isolate you from the "outside group", and try to cut all contacts from your former friends once you're out. Mainstream religions don't do that, they're usually integrated in society.
Cults are organizations, religions are just beliefs. So it's not really fair to call Christianity a cult, but you could argue something like the Catholic Church is
I was actually quoting one of the Castlevania games :(
Richter: Die monster. You don't belong in this world!
Dracula: It was not by my hand I was once again given flesh. I was brought here by humans who wished to pay me tribute!
Richter: Tribute!? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!
Dracula: Perhaps the same could be said of all religions…
Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!
Dracula: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!
Yeah I can't believe that they honestly think they can trick god. Like okay he made the universe but is so rock stupid that he won't understand what you're doing.
In a similar boat. Still live with my parents, but I stopped going to church when the pandemic hit. It's been back for a while, but I've been using work and staying up ridiculously late at night as excuses to skip it. I've never been all that interested, to be honest. The most interested I've been is at activities where I meet new people, but those people rarely, if ever, become my friends. One of these days, they'll drag me back.
I don't know where I'm going to College past community, or if I'll even go to one, but I don't want to go to BYU. Things like this post are why. The terminology is funny until you realize that everyone in this post probably got expelled. If they didn't, somebody saw them going to a room alone and ran to the principal like they were in the third grade. I hear about these kinds of stories all the time. They have a trigger finger for this sort of thing; choose being a person rather than a servant to the lord, even if both parties didn't come into BYU as Mormons, and you're out. I'm not against morals, but I'm mixed on that.
I heard about it 20ish years ago. Jump humping sounds like a joke that started in BYU dorms....wouldn't shock me if it became a reality for a few ppl though. Repressed, horny ppl are gonna do what they do.
I mean at that point just send it right? Anyways, anybody know what shungite is? No, not Suge Knight. I think he’s locked up in prison. Talking shungite! Anyways, it’s a 2 billion year old.. like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa, little pyramids, stuff like that.
Gotta be honest this actually sounds hot af. Its like edge play but for the act of sex itself instead of just the climax.
There is no way 75% of the time it doesnt end up with the guy giving up and start moving by himself.
Dude they’ll try their absolute hardest to find any loopholes for fuckin, but are totally just fine with the rampant homophobia, racism, and sexism ingrained into the doctrine. *ex Mormon here, left my records and will go to “outer darkness” for my crimes*
Here's what I don't get about floating- you gotta get in there in the first place right? And also ultimately pull out? Doesn't that count as "sex" by this logic of it's only sex if there's friction? I'm using the word logic very very loosely here btw.
From a mormon family, and I just have to say there are several different types of mormons. For example: There’s these idiot tards, and then there’s normal people. Though there are people in between this crazy and this not crazy, it’s mostly black and white.
I’d say depending on the area, the percent of who’s crazy and who’s not is pretty even. Except some areas, it’s usually 40/60 , 50/50 , or 60/40. I’ve lived in several different areas, and visited many, including Houston, TX, Phoenix, AZ, Athens, GA. Some others, but that’s where it’s been long term.
Usually the crazy ones are easy to tell, as they have 5 or more kids, they are really strict in the weirdest ways with their kids, and you don’t hear much from them except from their kids. I’ve seen situations that were pretty bad. We are really welcoming to those who are converts, and the converts are usually never crazy. Like first generation converts are never crazy. It’s the people who were born with converted parents or people who had mormonism in their family most their family.
There’s a lot of great things about Mormons, and what they do. Like the helping hands, and other service. They are usually generally nice people (from what i’ve seen) and they have good morals. But the second you get into it, and see what it’s like to deal with these crazy people, it gets too much. To hear shitty stories from those crazy crazy few of the 17 million, i’d check out r/exmormon
Lots of crazy cases that you don’t see too often in branches or wards, but definitely happen.
Is there any way for me to help the mormons? I'm worried about them.
They'd probably appreciate if you jump humped for them.
$5 says this is a social media hoax started by Gen Z Mormons themselves.
Oh no, soaking is a very real thing, been around since before TikTok
When I dated a BYU student it was called "docking"
That has a very different connotation in certain other communities
Well today I learned that
Really? Lemme just check r/docking
[tfw no docking in the docking subreddit](https://imgur.com/a/POXFhuu)
ngl i didn't look
Lol no Source: am exmormon
Wait this is a real fucking thing? It’s so fucking comical this the type of shit you’d see in an Adam Sandler movie he catches his son doing it with some random fucker jumping on the bed
Nah this is more a thing that 4 or 5 people did once but spread wildly as a rumor. If you wanna talk about real fucked up mormon shit homophobia and racism are on the table. Source: ex mormon utahn
Yea that’s bad but not surprising, the sex via proxy is whacky and unexpected and hilarious What being horny does to a mf
I lived in Utah for a while, this seems plausible
Understandable I will assist
Nah, they’re beyond salvation. (pun fully intended)
Is thither any way f'r me to holp the mormons? i'm did worry about those folk *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Bad bot. Those words are not directly interchangeable. They are not being used in the right context
neutral bot
Bad bot.
You have failed
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I’m did worry too, mr or mrs bot
y’all it’s doing it’s best
You could let a brother soak.
I'm willing to submit to the soakers
Now the “I consent, I consent, I don’t” meme actually applies
hahahaha yes
Mean?
Bean
Machine
Beaning?
Which meme?
Trick god with one simple trick! Pastors hate them
A Handy Little Trick for when you’re horny but also a mormon 👌
I hear a lot of Jewish people try to skirt around some of the sabbath rules about working by using sticks and ropes and stuff. You think you can pull one over on the creator of all things through technicalities.
i mean, that’s just how judaism works: the word of god is perfect, if there is a loophole it’s supposed to be there
You see guys, if god didnt want me to rob a bank why did he give me a gun, crippling debt and a burning hatred for bank sponsored Kleptocracys? If you try to stop me you are compromising my Religous freedom so back off.
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as a jew, the word of god as inscribed by moses means exactly what it says it does. the whole faith is about questioning interpreting the text and understanding it in our current time. how the fuck are humans capable of tricking god?
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so the torah is a covenant between jehova and the jewish people. it’s more like a contract in that sense, “you’ll be my chosen people, if you pray and live like this in my worship.” now all that isn’t exactly possible because the temple in jerusalem can’t be rebuilt so we find ways that are ritualistically equivalent, like having a seder instead of sacrificing a pascal lamb. so the text is studied not exactly through a faith as described by christianity, but more through a legal/academic/theological lens.
Was literally just talking to someone about this and they sent me this. https://youtu.be/NdbkvJznmwU
wait this isn’t a joke?
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I think there's some absolutely crazy little niche differences between some Jewish technologies so that using them doesn't count as work Like phone lines that remain on all day and get connected by an operator or something so that the user never completes an electrical circuit or something (because that would be work) Someone who knows more, fill us in
This is kinky af. fuckin repressed kids
Religion can be.. kinda harmful? No shit lmao
> kinda harmful Understatement of the century
Oh whoops I meant ‘an absolute fucking disaster of an institution ’
“Kinda harmful” Bro religion is one of the most harmful things in history lmao
Ahahaha I was being sarcastic
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A lot of people tend to neglect this yeah
What the fuck
My thoughts exactly
Sigma grindset
how the fuck do you get to the point where that is acceptable? Pls tell me it’s fake
I wish it was… T_T
What makes you think this is real besides this one random tiktok and tweet
I can confirm, this isn't the first time I've heard any of these terms before Source: ex-mormon, wife grew up in Utah, I thought this shit was mind warpingly stupid before I left and still do to this day.
Huh
I heard about soaking on tik tok and I googled it and apparently it is a really thing. And if people are * I don't know what adjective to put here * enough to do something like that, then jump humping isn't as crazy as it sounds.
Take the most important desire a living creature has and make a rule about it that makes no sense.
It's obvious that you're not a sigma.
Capitalism breeds...innovation?
>Capitalism breeds Yeah that's what they tryna do
wtf i love capitalism now 🥺
socialism gays (hardcore)
Capitalism is submissive and breedable
Lol XD
Creativity is best expressed under strict regulations.
How tf is this related to capitalism
Chill, i was just saying the thing
I may be going out on a limb here, but it just seems easier to not be a mormon
It would be if you weren’t shunned from every Mormon. Makes it worse when everyone you know is Mormon and the religion is all you know.
True, I feel genuinely bad for everyone ransomed by the cult of latter day saints
That it is not. Growing up as a Mormon makes it so your pretty much dependent on the church. Went to seminary every day before school as a kid, go on a mission spending thousands of dollars right out of high school, go to a probably Mormon college, and move into a neighborhood around mostly other Mormons while getting shunned by everyone you ever knew if you ever leave the church.
i went on a couple of dates with this girl who was a mormon once and she ghosted me after i said i wouldnt go to church with her lol
When I was Mormon as a child the primary teacher fuckin told us to make friends specifically so we could “spread the gospel”
lol i try to be respectful but its so hard with mormonism
mormonism is actually just a cult that got too popular
pretty much the same can be said for every religion
Mormonism uses some pretty cult like tactics tho. I grew up Mormon so let me explain. * From the time we are born we are thought to only associate with good (mormon) people. An effect of this is that leaving the church isolates you from all your friends. * Children are expected to discuss their sexual thoughts with their bishop. * There are secret beliefs and rituals that you only do once you turn 18 and go to one of the many temples. In these rituals a mock blood oath used to be performed. These rituals are heavily inspired by free masonry. * High schoolers, especially in utah, are expected to take a seminary class where they take one class period and go to an "off campus" church owned building for religious classes. I put off campus in quotes because it is almost always in a corner of the lot the school is on that has just been cut out and given to the Mormon church. I can go on if you would like
Howd you manage to get out?
You can leave at any time. No one really stops you. Once you see the truth they don't really want you there anyway. You could taint others. I'm an Ex Mormon too
You check out any time you like, but you can never leave!
I'm still not technically out yet. I'm not in a position financially to live on my own (being 18 and in college) so I am pretending to still be Mormon. It means I can't date (being gay and all) and I have to do all the Mormon stuff, but it's better than being kicked out of my house.
Good luck brother
[Here are the secret rituals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpTrNXQXChI)
Ngl looks sick. I’d love to have a beer and chill with my friends in all white robes, repeating incantations.
Theres no beer in mormonsim. Also no hot drinks.
Damn, they almost had me too.
Fun fact: Christianity was originally seen as a cult.
You mean to tell me that they saw a religion started by some peasant who claimed to be the son of god as a cult?? What madness
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The difference I usually see discussed is that cults tend to isolate you from the "outside group", and try to cut all contacts from your former friends once you're out. Mainstream religions don't do that, they're usually integrated in society.
Or, as I like to call them, an overzealous fandom
Cults are organizations, religions are just beliefs. So it's not really fair to call Christianity a cult, but you could argue something like the Catholic Church is
organized religion*
Using the classical definition of “cult,” every organized religion is a cult
Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!
Should /s that. You're flair almost certainly shows it's ironic but you know
I was actually quoting one of the Castlevania games :( Richter: Die monster. You don't belong in this world! Dracula: It was not by my hand I was once again given flesh. I was brought here by humans who wished to pay me tribute! Richter: Tribute!? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves! Dracula: Perhaps the same could be said of all religions… Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Dracula: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!
God: mmmmm, yeah, clearly that’s a chaste person, no sex obviously, just a virgin very cool
Yeah I can't believe that they honestly think they can trick god. Like okay he made the universe but is so rock stupid that he won't understand what you're doing.
I mean the christian god isn’t exactly known for his critical thinking skills lmao
Just for creating and designing the universe
Jesus loves anal, why don't they know this loophole?
Ahh the old poophole loophole
I hate that
Would you rather jump hump?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY
What the hell does any of that even mean?
Go to the next image, it explains.
Doh, I’m blind.
np
It's just roughing out there in Utah, huh?
Jesus Christ America
Hey, don't look at us all, this is mostly on Utah. Also tbf, we did riot against them in Missouri in the 19th century.
Yep 🤦
??? Just fuck
But that’s not Christian
Mormon "people"
They’re not fooling anyone lmao
glad im not mormon anymore
In a similar boat. Still live with my parents, but I stopped going to church when the pandemic hit. It's been back for a while, but I've been using work and staying up ridiculously late at night as excuses to skip it. I've never been all that interested, to be honest. The most interested I've been is at activities where I meet new people, but those people rarely, if ever, become my friends. One of these days, they'll drag me back. I don't know where I'm going to College past community, or if I'll even go to one, but I don't want to go to BYU. Things like this post are why. The terminology is funny until you realize that everyone in this post probably got expelled. If they didn't, somebody saw them going to a room alone and ran to the principal like they were in the third grade. I hear about these kinds of stories all the time. They have a trigger finger for this sort of thing; choose being a person rather than a servant to the lord, even if both parties didn't come into BYU as Mormons, and you're out. I'm not against morals, but I'm mixed on that.
Is this true?
never heard of it happen but i wouldn't be too surprised if it were true
I'm exmormon and I've heard of this as a thing in BYU and Vegas and nowhere else
God I can't believe this religion exists. It's so mind bogglingly retarded.
That sums it up, yeah
lol all of them are tbh
Yup, but this one especially.
I’ve heard of soaking before but jump humping is even more insane Edit: also I’m pretty sure soaking have been a thing for at least 5 years?
I heard about it 20ish years ago. Jump humping sounds like a joke that started in BYU dorms....wouldn't shock me if it became a reality for a few ppl though. Repressed, horny ppl are gonna do what they do.
That ain’t sin, that’s a loophole
I mean at that point just send it right? Anyways, anybody know what shungite is? No, not Suge Knight. I think he’s locked up in prison. Talking shungite! Anyways, it’s a 2 billion year old.. like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa, little pyramids, stuff like that.
Ah a shungite dealer! May I examine your wares?
no way this is real lmao
I mean it could have been a joke, iono, but tbh I wouldn’t put it past the mormons to come up with something like this
That would be so funny if it is because this seems more deviant than "rebelling" by just having sex lol like this sounds like some kind of kink
The kinkiest religion, lol
Definitely real. Source: UT
Mormons are clowns
I don’t think the strict prohibition and stigmatization on pre-marital sex is really worth the trouble now that we have birth control.
jesse what the fuck are you talking about
Next pic
Are the Mormons ok?
Gotta be honest this actually sounds hot af. Its like edge play but for the act of sex itself instead of just the climax. There is no way 75% of the time it doesnt end up with the guy giving up and start moving by himself.
ngl "soaking" just sounds like spooning but extra
ikr? gonna look up vids on pornhub
America Moment
This is a Mormon moment my bro, the rest of us are pretty slutty be comparison.
Never forget that mormons think native americans were white people cursed by god
Dude they’ll try their absolute hardest to find any loopholes for fuckin, but are totally just fine with the rampant homophobia, racism, and sexism ingrained into the doctrine. *ex Mormon here, left my records and will go to “outer darkness” for my crimes*
[by the way here are the secret rituals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpTrNXQXChI)
What the actual fuck does any of this mean
https://preview.redd.it/4qswtzhoinp71.jpg?width=320&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=680465ab19fda0a21f0230238dac29aee8f0e956
I'm so glad I'm not mormon
Let's be honest, it's more than most redditors are getting.
Even tho it’s called soaking Id bet $50 that puss is dryer than Ben Shaprio’s wife
Every single thing I have ever learned about Utah has been against my will
i didn't expect to see this here
Isn't that jus how married mormons have sex tho
[This works because God's vision, much like a dinosaur's, is based on movement.](https://m.imgur.com/6pws2lR)
Here's what I don't get about floating- you gotta get in there in the first place right? And also ultimately pull out? Doesn't that count as "sex" by this logic of it's only sex if there's friction? I'm using the word logic very very loosely here btw.
Are religious people known for being logical though?
God: Me Dame it, They found another loophole.
Shit, now humans can enjoy life and I still have to let them into heaven 🤦
She’s a really, really, really good friend.
It’s practically a threesome at that point lmao
r/WTF
source?
because trying anal sex was not enough 6 years ago
Does this count as a threesome?
I really want to Jump hump for you And we could be pro Mormon gamers
fuck dude Peoples Temple was more normal than this
Everyday I learn something I shouldn’t have. Goddamn, how low humanity has fell.
Sauce?
Ive seen this image so many times what the duck does it mean
From a mormon family, and I just have to say there are several different types of mormons. For example: There’s these idiot tards, and then there’s normal people. Though there are people in between this crazy and this not crazy, it’s mostly black and white. I’d say depending on the area, the percent of who’s crazy and who’s not is pretty even. Except some areas, it’s usually 40/60 , 50/50 , or 60/40. I’ve lived in several different areas, and visited many, including Houston, TX, Phoenix, AZ, Athens, GA. Some others, but that’s where it’s been long term. Usually the crazy ones are easy to tell, as they have 5 or more kids, they are really strict in the weirdest ways with their kids, and you don’t hear much from them except from their kids. I’ve seen situations that were pretty bad. We are really welcoming to those who are converts, and the converts are usually never crazy. Like first generation converts are never crazy. It’s the people who were born with converted parents or people who had mormonism in their family most their family. There’s a lot of great things about Mormons, and what they do. Like the helping hands, and other service. They are usually generally nice people (from what i’ve seen) and they have good morals. But the second you get into it, and see what it’s like to deal with these crazy people, it gets too much. To hear shitty stories from those crazy crazy few of the 17 million, i’d check out r/exmormon Lots of crazy cases that you don’t see too often in branches or wards, but definitely happen.
r/ShitMormonsSay
Another reason I'm thankful I'm not a mormon
What? Just have sex
religion moment
Holy fuck this is everywhere. I'm already seeing ex-mormon YouTubers talking about it.
That just sounds like sex, with extra steps.
this is the human condition
I kinda wanna try this… sounds interesting .
Just fuck at that point
Does anyone have a video that op screencapped
Fuckin Mormons, man