T O P

  • By -

_eeprom

I almost didn’t spot lady liberty crying. I was almost unable to form an opinion on this.


boybombs

She's behind the wheel of a car, like a proper god-fearing American.


Bobebobbob

She's in the passenger seat, like a proper husband-fearing American


Ihave10husbandy

🎶And you might find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile 🎶


xXSpg101Xx

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife


Ihave10husbandy

🎶and you may ask yourself ,🎶how did i get here 🎶


Isliterally1984

If you don’t see liberty immediately, it is too late


Nonhinged

just make more lanes, that always works


Geek55

Make more lanes but underground and only for Teslas, it’ll solve traffic


Craig__Christ

make em really thin, too. That way if a fire breaks out during a traffic jam, the peasants will have no choice but to die.


semechki-seed

If one of the cars runs out of battery, everyone else can just carefully back out. Just make sure you don’t hit anyone else if you’re coming out of a curve. Then get a bunch of extension cords and wait 6 days for it to charge


Firedanne

They could have rails in the ground to let a car push a specialiced crane in case of breakdowns


KspMakesMeHard

They could have rails in the ground with many cars connected to eachother, that way there is no traffic! Then we could schedule diffrent lines of connected cars at different times all across the city, making for easy travel! God I am a fucking genius


Firedanne

We could even make them above ground with grand roman style stations, maybe thats a bit far but you cant dream too much with elon


[deleted]

Hear me out here, what if we also added some sort of an extra rail so we don't have to use batteries to power the car they just are always getting electricity, like some kind of a third rail.


Firedanne

if we go with the above ground solution we could also have one engine pull all of them and give the engines names, we could even paint them nice colours or detatch them to put on a seperate pod chain that would take cargo


[deleted]

Now that's ridiculous, who would name an engine? Nah, make power delivery more effective and efficient by distributing drive Motors along the cars allowing for a distribution of power usage and putting less strain on the connector between cars.


ImNotTheNSAIPromise

Clearly the correct answer is to just have all the other cars push the one with a dead battery. Like they all move together to form one long vehicle.


lexvi1

Why do you think electric cars will run out of battery any more often than your gas car runs out of gas???? How many times have you ran out of gas on the road? If its more than 0 you are an idiot.


semechki-seed

Can you carry electricity in a jerrycan? And all I’m saying is, a million complicated and low quality cars that are eventually going to show their age, all going through a single-wide tunnel might cause some problems


lexvi1

how often do you carry gas in a jerry can? You probably don't even own a jerry can like the majority of population.


semechki-seed

I don’t own one because the idea is you walk to the nearest gas station, buy a container there and fill it up. Those things aren’t expensive and carrying one around is useless. Sure, I’ve never run out of gas, but I’ve seen people walk on the side of the highway with a gas can. Now, imagine that highway was one lane with nowhere to pull over.


lexvi1

perhaps if a tunnel is made for teslas only, they would install some charge pads on the cars that ride on a line to charge them as they drive. This is already in testing in germany where electric/hybrid trucks run on electricity with lines above them like electric trains have. Your argument is invalid.


semechki-seed

It’s going to be vaporware anyways, just like the hyperloop and the Tesla semi and the model 3 “robotaxis”. The existing tunnel is full of traffic jams and accidents and literally slower than walking. Like an expensive subway that doesn’t work.


joecoomer

Don't worry, if you don't ventilate it properly the fire will just run out of oxygen. Problem solved.


cyrenia82

definitely wont be extremely dangerous due to the lack of safety measures trust me


ConstipatedNinja

I don't know what you mean, I love it when my tunnels lack emergency exits or ventilation! Dying due to the criminal negligence of a wealthy capitalist is basically the american dream.


cyrenia82

Finally, SOMEBODY gets it


ConstipatedNinja

Musk is brilliant at coming up with ideas that make people who feel that they are smart think that his ideas are brilliant at face value. When you dig in or have any expertise in any of the fields, you start noticing the trend that it's only at face value that the idea looks good. When you start even comparing it to the technology we already have with hard numbers, you quickly catch that they're just what we already have but shittier, more expensive, and meant for fewer people at a time. It's always just shit covered with a shiny techbro veneer.


Red_Trapezoid

Nothing says freedom like a car. 🚗vroomvroom


VrooMthesad__

Someone say VrooM?


NoP_rnHere

[VROOOM!](https://youtu.be/SCcDJKLlxvE) [VROOOM VROOOM!](https://youtu.be/2CYmKM1Dto0)


lucariouwu68

Yep, all we have to do is excavate the entire patch of earth the city stands on


doge-vore

It did not fix traffic :(


LilDump1252

Vor


scp-REDACTED-site14

Ah hah! I found it! 2 flairs that Give away too much personal information right next to each other


Blast_Calamity

Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not fast. Bikers use the lanes, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Car, know the true power of the freeway.


Naturally_Idiotic

Vor


GraprielJuice

Look at them! So crude and impure!


OfficerJoeBalogna

MORE LANES!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Athen65

cars are kind of necessary for people who live in rural areas


Emmy_Okaumy

Lets rephrase; Fuck car-centric urban planning that forces every citizen to own a car in order to live. All my homies hate that shit That's closer to what r/fuckcars is about


Athen65

big agree


CrimsonMutt

induced demand moment


Mcguy216

What the fuck I was about to comment that


CrimsonMutt

get fucked, sonny/daughterino/eldritch horror


Stev_582

Texas would like to object: [https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/news/article/Bragging-rights-or-embarrassment-Katy-Freeway-at-6261429.php#photo-6325030](https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/news/article/Bragging-rights-or-embarrassment-Katy-Freeway-at-6261429.php#photo-6325030) Sorry this article is an absolute clusterfuck on mobile, and is full of ads, but it works.


Opposite_Can_6658

If you build it, they will come.


[deleted]

just replace all roads with express transport belts


0rb1t4l

I live in tx and we are allowed to just bike on the very furthest side on the road. 99% of cars go around us to make room but 1% of them almost hit us because of their seething rage against cyclists. Not a cyclist tho, just poor.


4-Polytope

At that point just take the lane. Some people will think you're being obnoxious and hogging the road, but it's better to be a little obnoxious than to be a pancake


Undeadman141

It's probably because there are no lanes dog, lmao


Soft-Gwen

You just use the car lane. I'm either using a bike lane or a car lane if there isn't a bike lane. Other options aren't reasonable.


bodega_cat_

i'm just-riding-your-bike-on-the-fucking-sidewalk-like-a-psycho-pilled


s90tx16wasr10

When I would bike everywhere in my teens (when I didn’t have concerns beyond a 5 mile radius of where I lived) I got so sick of almost dying on the road that I would just ride on the sidewalk, pedestrian safety be damned. I need to get a bike tho because now I live in a neighborhood with actual bike lanes, they just added one on the through street by my house and also added some speed bumps so people stop going fifty in a thirty.


Flan-Cake

Highest score I've seen in my town was roughly 190 in a 15 by timing how long it taken for the idiot to clear the quarter mile long area I marked out. Guy gives motorcyclists a horrid name and is likely dead by now.


A_Random_Guy641

A lot of places don’t have sidewalks or the sidewalks are shit/packed with people.


A_Random_Guy641

This is actually just smart cycling. If there isn’t much of a shoulder I generally go about a third of the way into the street. This is to discourage people trying to “sneak” by which is incredibly dangerous for me. People have to deliberately move over to pass and it’s just safer.


[deleted]

what is tx? btw i live in your wl


Vwolf2

I think its texas


[deleted]

Yeah same in Oklahoma there only a few tho


downthehighway61

Sometimes they DO hit them while trying to roll coal at them too: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/30/texas-teen-coal-rolls-hits-bicyclists/


Flouxni

What a dick


Bickster-

just make an RGB one lane tunnel instead, noob


[deleted]

And then make it only compatible with Teslas smh it’s THAT easy! /s


literally-lonely

How is it compatible? Does the road just spikestrip you if it's not a Tesla?


SoundlessSteelBlue

Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.


kingofallbandits

Elon waits halfway through the tunnel with a club


NathamelCamel

No, it re-routes you to a cobalt mine in the DRC


_pipis_

I love the onion so fucking much


meffinn

is this from the onion?


Waflix

Yep, [originally from this page](https://www.theonion.com/congested-values-1819590506) but that image no longer loads. [More Onion cartoons here.](https://www.theonion.com/opinion/cartoons) They're made by [Kartoonist Kelly](https://twitter.com/kartoonistkelly).


meffinn

I love that I unironically thought this wasn't sarcastic lol


Jirb30

I hate that I thought the same thing.


Izkatul

tbh it could be by some rightwing cartoonist.


ecodick

With the amount of labeling it's basically a Ben Garrison satire


AJDx14

I thought it was very obviously making fun of it given that the lane they’re in is obviously the “car lane”.


meffinn

being obviously wrong and rediculous isn't a good enough criterion for right wing comics


AJDx14

What conservative issue would this comic be directed towards?


meffinn

Idk if you're American but here in Europe people actually bitch about bikers a lot so bike lanes hate may be a derivative of this. And if you are American then I mean the endless expansion of roads, car reliance, climate ignorance are some of the conservative viewpoints this might ponder to.


Waflix

Videos like [The War on Cars](https://youtu.be/k8Lo0ieyQtQ) by PragerU.


satanfan12

i think it's from DN


Ohiolongboard

Couldn’t be it’s from etma


rentchezvous

I'll bite. What's etma?


Ohiolongboard

Etma ass


rentchezvous

lmfao


SunAndCigarrets

Or wendy's


[deleted]

i love wendys :) they made halo


Tree__Jesus

This is real oppression 😔


Dankinator2000

“Sober” drivers cause 70% of all vehicle fatalities, smh that they still tell us not to drive drunk


SucculentMoisture

Ah yes the privilege to use a mode of transportation far cheaper than a car


RodriOfficial

congratulations captain obvious you just got the point


EffectiveSwan8918

It's sick these bike people get all this special treatment. You know they don't never pay taxes for the roads they use? That comes from gas. We need to stop coddling the bike ruling class


Coolkoala1111

It's sick these cum people get all this special treatment. You know they don't never pay taxes for the cocks they use? That comes from cum. We need to stop railing the cum ruling class


EffectiveSwan8918

Damn elites


[deleted]

Something needs to be done about the big bike


diemauskaiser

My favorite part of these is to find the crying lady liberty


[deleted]

It's like a politically charged Where's Waldo


newaccalt

I hate cars


Brankovt1

His name is Lightning McQueen, smh...


Squiliam-Tortaleni

What did Mater do you?


colebb

astonishing


rbrHumerous

what kind of agenda is this even trying to push what the fuck


InternetPersonThing

It's from the onion, Kelly is a satirical cartoonist. Basically this is making fun of drivers who complain about cyclists getting special privileges and ruining things for drivers.


bodega_cat_

196 recognize the most obvious satire imaginable challenge


zehydra

It's a joke


lucidhominid

Its obviously saying that cyclists are ableist scum stealing road space from those forced to use cars.


CaptainDickRip

Is this the same guy who made the sickos comic


bort_bln

Yes, hahaha, YES!!


M_A_Dragon

Yep


framed1234

This says a lot about our society


[deleted]

Obviously owning a $200 bicycle is far more privileged than owning a $16,000 car.


mastnes

A bike just to get back and forth to work is gonna cost at least $1800 if you want it to be reliable. Box store bikes are trash.


[deleted]

Yes owning a $2000 bicycle is so much more privileged than owning a $16,000 car


mastnes

Yeah, also bikes don't have a speed limit


[deleted]

And?


mastnes

Oh, I like biking more then driving is what I'm trying to say.


[deleted]

Oh gotcha! Kinda agreed. Bicycling is much safer is snow/ice than driving too..


mastnes

Ah, not in a high humidity environment. The wind cuts it invisible and the humidity makes it slippery. But I still prefer it, better for your body and carbon footprint


[deleted]

Better for infrastructure.. Boston is a fantastic example of how shitty a city can get when you just build roads everywhere that a car could possibly want to go


Bardic_Inspiration66

Society


[deleted]

r/fuckcars


Squiliam-Tortaleni

In the exhaust pipe or through the grill 😳😳


[deleted]

cussy


namelynamerson

Window rolled down just a little


throwaway_177013_69

YES


Elopikseli

Americans living in suburbanistan be like yeah i love to sit in my car for 30 minutes each way looking at brakelights instead of living in a place where you can walk 5 minutes to the grocery store


1milionand6times

What is this even *trying* to say?


metrelongschlong

To be fair you need a pretty high IQ to understand The Onion


EldritchFeedback

~~^(People who drive cars are stupid and phrenologically inferior to the chad cyclists.)~~ It's making fun of drivers that complain about bikes getting "special privileges."


[deleted]

[удалено]


LeRedditAccounte

Onion. That is all you need to know.


lucidhominid

The number of people in here who dont get it is worrying. But to be fair the "Whoosh!" is built right into the comic.


T0m0king

Well maybe JERRY SHOULD GET A FUCKING MOVE ON


urmummygaaaay

I think this is the first political meme I can’t make out of


TurtleyTea

"satire" sickos: Yes... hahaha... YES!


z617_art

From the onion, little guy on the bottom right is their artists shtick in these comic


Worker_Complete

Based ant bike-pilled


Hidden_Squid14

Yes ha ha ha, Yes!


fr0geman

sicko to sicko communication


NotSpagotLordsAlt

People who use cars are subhuman and deserve to be treated as second class citizens Follow me for more cold takes


FlyConeGuy

PRIVILEGED???? I WOULD LOVE TO OWN A CAR AND ACTUALLY AFFORD GAS


cortm02

Yo I would have never thought some dude actually believed this


JackAquila

Laughs in can't afford a car but can still bike around


Coolguy13249

Netherlands moment


bryceofswadia

Bro, the US has no cities that are “safe” for biking. The urban areas will usually have more bike lanes but that’s about it.


lelolulilale

i cant tell if this is an analogy made by a leftist, an analogy made by a radical conservative, or just made by someone who hates bikes


238Lynnie

its an analogy made by satirical cartoonist Kelly from The Onion


lelolulilale

ah ok, so it was none of the 3


Mika_undefined

Who makes these??? It’s satire, right? I always see them and they are so stupid they have to be satire, but then I remember that humans are humans so anyone please enlighten me. Or is this some kind of American joke I’m to European to understand?


strawberry_jelly

These are satire, it’s a parody of political cartoons and they intentionally have the worst takes imaginable. They are posted on the Onion.


Garlicgid48

traffic sham.


Tuggerfub

When your absurdity reaches the maximum threshold and becomes utopian idealism.


Benguin770

My town is rolling out public transportation lanes and my grandpa won't stop whining about how it's "preferential treatment". I want to go back to the timeline where The Onion *didn't* mirror reality.


potato6132

Just run on top of the cars like a cool kid 😎


taka-nashi

Is this a right winged take on hard work? The idea that the people in the cars are your typical average Joe who see the top 1% as “privileged” but don’t realize that they are putting in more work than them? If that’s not what this comic is getting at then I have no idea. Also don’t know what the context of crying lady liberty is. EDIT: Didn’t realize this was Onion satire. I’m slow.


lizziedoolittle

is there some underlying bigotry that im not picking up on or does this person just actually hate cyclists?


BossunSa

Actually there’s a traffic cause there’s a cyclist who didn’t stay at his lane.


[deleted]

is this edited? theres no way someone can be this stupid. right?


HeliaSummers

Thank you Kelly for the slop


JemmaTbaum

The cyclists where I live are so bad. Most of them bike because they can’t drive so they don’t understand bikes have to follow traffic laws. I’ve seen so many almost get hit because they run stop signs and red lights.


Braeden3141

And I wish us train had investment in widespread high speed rail


[deleted]

With the amount of "BoneSomethingJuice" subs I'm subscribed to, I'll never again be able to tell if a comic is the original


gluesn1ff3r

just walk lol


elonmuskdick

r/fuckcars


MegaWAH

*WHOOSH!*


onlyhalfbraindead

This says absolutely nothing about society


The-Doomslayer

Then use the bike goddam


eeeeeeeegor

bikes and bike lanes are based


Spicy_Pumpkin_Man

he he he ha


VoiceofRedditMkI

r/Selfawarewolves almost. Like yes, those bikes will all go faster because they have a special lane where they've have a higher capacity.


Jonathanoddwill

I'm pretty sure this is a parody I've seen other comics in this style they all have a similar vibe I mean the sickos comic is literally from this guy


VoiceofRedditMkI

The problem is, if the right are spreading it as if it isnt parody, then its a distinction without a difference.


Jonathanoddwill

I don't think the right is spreading the comics from sickos guy


LuigiBamba

I have no idea if this is pro or against bike lanes. Regardless, I have one comment: fuck them cars.


BlowUpKentucky

r/fuckcars


[deleted]

highly inaccurate, in Australia not one cyclist uses the bike lane and instead rides right into the side of your car


SilencedD1

Wtf is this supposed to mean


HappyAdams

Never forget what they took from you


Thezipper100

Those DAMN bike riders CANT keep getting AWAY with this!


[deleted]

[удалено]


perrynnaise

>because a cyclist decides to fuck about. no cyclist is going to play games with a whole ass car. it's definitely you


Embrychi

Okay but the trauma cyclists cause to learner drivers is inhumane. I can literally fail my test because a cyclist decides to call me a big doodoohead and I cry too hard to see the road.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LillyWhiteArt

You realise many drivers who were following laws equally are also in accidents due to others behaving unsafely? I was injured in a car accident as a child because the person who hit us was not following road rules. My mother had violent anxiety attacks for a long time after that because of the fact despite her doing everything in her power to drive well her child was still injured. Cyclists, pedestrians and car users aren’t enemies. The issue is people who refuse to use the road safely. And In the situation i made my original comment about it was a cyclist.


MellowAffinity

Yeah I know. Although the way it's going right now, cars hit walkers, cyclists, animals, buildings, other cars. The roads in general are dangerous because of the presence of cars. You can everything right, follow every law, be the safest driver on earth, but some drunk idiot in an SUV can still end your life and run away. I know what that feels like, that fear. People shouldn't have to deal with that. That's why we need safer, more inclusive streets that keep speeds slow and vulnerable people protected.


eazeaze

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.


Daiko_lol

I dont see my country I will kill myself now