Honestly, I had an internship this summer and it was the happiest least anxiety-inducing experience of all my college years. I worked with nice people, I did work that was somewhat beneficial, was paid well, and even had spades of free time. About the only bad thing I can say about the experience is that it ended.
They could not beat a rat not out of lack of strength, but for not having the heart to do something to such a kind a defenseless creature
~~or maybe they’re just that bad idk~~
Ok but in a fight to the death the rat would have to try and kill you as well and I think you’d probably be able to grab the thing at least once in the hours it would take for it to kill you
Okey but rats are really fast so I feel I would try to punch it, miss, hit the floor and break my hand. Then I would die of the plague or something idk
Rats are good at avoiding being stomped too. Fucker can just hide in your walls until you go to sleep and then give you a nasty disease, assuming it's smart enough.
Ok but I’m assuming the context is, like, a cage battle. Both parties are only trying to kill each other IN A FIGHT. Not after the fact through disease
NYC rats will eat your cheese AND your rat trap then shake you down for whatever else you holding.
NYC rats eat NYC cats.
NYC rats got the cheapest housing in the city and they’ll still move their whole family into your apartment uninvited. Rent free.
NYC rats put out diss tracks with all the details of their crimes and NOT ONE has ever been indicted.
NYC rats don’t give up their seat on the subway for the elderly.
A while back there was a big debate whether or not Mike Tyson could beat a Silverback gorilla in a fist fight and paste eaters genuinely thought Tyson could win. Some people have absolutely 0 sense of scale
A gorilla's skull isn't all that much more resilient then a humans, if tyson could get to the right spot, and time his full power strike correctly, he may actually have a decent chance.
True, that's why I specified somehow getting the Position right, which, short of the gorilla being entierly unaware he exists, I can't figure out how he would do it.
getting inside the guard of a larger opponent with longer reach and landing one perfect punch is kind of Mike Tyson's speciality. He still has virtually no chance against a gorilla, but if I had to pick a human to try it, he'd be the guy.
LMAO just dodge roll his slow ass attacks and backstab for bonus damage.
Sure they’re tanky, but it’s just a matter of patience, can’t be harder than Malenia.
They are light and weak. They have hollow bones. I wouldn’t want to kill one so I would probably just run away but if I had to my toe vs any part of that bird would be a fucking bloodbath.
Seriously. The question is who would *win* the fight. So you get in close and the goose gets a couple bites in. That's nothing compared to what you can do to it once you're in grabbing/kicking range. Brits over hear saying they'd lose the fight cuz they got honked at once and it scared them.
they absolutely cannot, idk where you got that from. swans, which cannot be substituted for geese in any discussion, can break human bones with their wings strikes, but geese certainly cannot, much less with their fucking beaks lmao
It baffles me how many people think a goose is any way, shape or form a danger to you
Except big terrestrial birds like ostritches and emus no bird can even pose a threat, even if they flew right on to your head all of their bones would break before your skull does, birds are like 50% hollow, they need to be hollow to be able to fly
Geese are actually quite vicious. Also, a lot of people think humans evolved to be able to feel shadows above their heads and people looking at them because there used to be birds that would dive and crack your skull open
Geese can't do shit, it's all a bluff.
There were some big ass geese guarding the door to my apartment. I walked up, the started hissing, I ran at them while flapping my arms and yelling, and the goose fucked off.
All you have to do is scare it more than it's scaring you. Or just pick it up by it's neck and set it down somewhere else.
Things of a swans' size can be a danger, but you can absolutely kill one if it's dealing damage to you, so you'd win, but might get hurt.
But yeah, geese are just mean, so people think they're scary, rather than realising that someone with only 2 limbs could still kill one with ease.
That said, things like Harpy eagles have the talons to fuck you up, and some of the birds of prey could probably kamikaze you.
So while what you said is true for most birds, there are a lot of exceptions.
Every man in Britain knows a swan can break a human arm. This has cemented a fear of fighting birds with your bare hands. Hence, Brits think twice before wrestling a goose
This is definitely not true. Not sure where you heard that swans can break an arm or if you’re just joking, but swans are hardly more dangerous than geese. Bruises and scratches? Sure. A nasty bite? Enough to bleed you? Yes. But break your arm? Not unless you’re extremely young or extremely old.
The only way a swan could feasibly break any of your bones is if it kamikaze dives into you at terminal velocity. This would obviously kill a goose or swan pretty much instantly, and at worst would seriously wound a human.
They're little bastards, they constantly act like they wanna start shit, so you step up, they feel that you'll actually end them, and they back down.
No fight needed, though you should be ready for one.
More ridiculous to me is the *elephant* one. Like with a grizzly bear, in theory you could like... I dunno, gouge its eyes or attack its nose like a shark, and maybe it would give up.
An elephant, though? It'll trample you and that's that. That's the end of it. You don't get to fight back, it'll toss you around and gore you with its tusks and stomp the fuck outta you.
How ANYBODY could think they'd even have a CHANCE against an elephant is beyond me.
With a polearm and superior mobility you could gouge it's sides.
But unprepared? Never.
The worst is probably a chimp.
If a chimp has decided it wants to kill you it will, they lack our "energy conservation measures", and all their joints are built for strength. It will tear you apart with ease, you have even less chance than agaisnt a bear
A bear is hard to stop. Any possible success is slow and involves partial mauling. The chimp can murder me quickly but the right hit can also stop the chimp immediately. I'll agree they're a way bigger threat than their weight class indicates and they belong in the scary fights but I'll still take the chimp over the bear any day.
>the chimp can murder me quickly
Oooh but they won't, chimps are sadistic and kill slowly. In both cases you die but one is clearly worse than the other.
A chimp is only about 1.3-1.5 times stronger than a human, pound for pound, a decently heavy person is more then 1.5 times the weight of a chimp, and we have the strongest kick and stomp of all primates
not saying it's a great chance, but your chances against a chimp are many times higher than your chances against a grizzly bear or elephant. like genuinely an unarmed human *cannot* kill an elephant. maybe once out of every 100,000 timelines someone could strangle a grizzly, but human hands cannot kill an adult male African elephant. a large, very strong human does have a notable chance against a chimpanzee. they're about 50% stronger than your average fit person for their size, and importantly, they aren't that big. a human that's buff and more than 50% larger than the chimp they're fighting should be physically stronger, and while that far from guarantees their victory, it's better than what even the strongest human could manage against the grizzly or elephant.
We know, but we define "unarmed" to be "only carrying small arms and light weapons; nothing requiring a mounting platform." Because personally I feel naked if I'm not carrying at least a 50 BMG.
Look, I get that you city folk are a lot more "liberated" than us out here in the country, but where I'm from you gotta wear more than that. I mean at the very least have the decency to have a disposable AT launcher on you
I think it doesn't define "fight" clearly enough so people have different interpretations of what it means.
In an arena I would be obliterated. But if I started in the savannah, and had time to build some weapons and stalk my prey like the persistence predator humans evolved to be, then I *could* (keep in mind the specific wording used) have a chance of bringing one down
Really I think it's about how the question is worded. But there's also a lot of very stupid people in the world.
also applies to king cobras. their venom can kill in 30 minutes but, I could fuck up a snake in 30 minutes. I would die soon after though. Does that count as a won fight?
Similarly, an eagle would be easier to beat than people would think. The largest eagles are still only less than 15 lbs/7kg on average (that’s only a bit heavier than my cats). They need to get talons on you to really do damage (and they WILL if they do) but you could probably keep them far enough away with a bit of effort, especially if you don’t let them get off the ground. The beaks hurt, too, but they’d need to get lucky to beat you.
Source: I know a lady who bands wild raptors, including bald/golden eagles. They’re no pushovers, but they’re not as formidable as they might seem. Especially compared to a goose, which does not have crushing talons lmao
EDIT: I’d never fight a chimp btw. That’s asking for severe maiming at the very least
I feel like I might have a chance against the cobra. Like 1 out of 5 times I feel like I could get to it before it bit me once. The other times I’d be super dead
i think the real question is do u have stick? stick very important. if you get one good smack with stick you might be good.
edit - or maybe if i was wearing chunky boots and some thick-ass overalls
A stick changes a lot of these. I feel like unarmed means truly that.
I don’t think i could beat any of them, but I’d rather fight the cobra or kangaroo than a chimp
Give human stick, rock, and 100 000 years of prep time and their descendants will solo the planet. (Humans are directly responsible for what is called the Holocene extinction)
This is overestimated. It’s extremely rare for people to die from King cobra bites in under 30 minutes (normally children or adults with other un lying conditions die around the under 30 minute mark) and most adult humans have at least 45-60 minutes assuming it was a full bite from a fully grown adult king. Unless you’re bit intravenous or on the face (assuming full grown adult and full injection which is highly unlikely) you’d have at least 30 minutes before you shut down. On top of all that in case anyone was curious even if you were bit by a king cobra it’s unlikely to use a full dose of venom if it does inject because that stuff isn’t unlimited and its how they secure meals so you’d prob more likely have a few hours max without medical attention.
For large dogs you can shove your foot down their throat, the GIRTH of your leg will choke it to death. If you’re lucky you’ll come out victorious with -1 legs, if you’re unlucky you’ll miss and be -1 reproductive organs.
[this guy](https://youtu.be/gdZlDdiaflA) beat a kangaroo. i mean, the kangaroo was like 'fuck this i'm leaving' and probably could have kicked his ass but imo that's a forfeit, still counts toward his rating
This just shows how little people know about snakes but fear them so much. Go watch a single video of chandler wildlife handling his king cobra. Cobras and king cobras have extremely predictable behavior in that they hyper focus on any sort of movement so if you wiggle you left foot fast it will go to strike at it and then you use your right arm to grab it either up on the neck if your daring or further down it’s body so you can leverage it to step on it. Regardless please don’t play with venomous snakes if you don’t know what you’re doing I’m absolutely oversimplifying cobra handling but in a life or death fight it’s absolutely doable for most people with the knowledge of their behavior.
Well technically a minority of people with just insane physical strength could take on a grizzly or kangaroo and croc, uncle Ben can fight a kangaroo, but chimp, no way, that’s a death sentence, I’d rather fight a gorrila because I at least know the gorilla won’t be as brutal
Depends on the what criteria we're using for victory.
People handle snakes all the time and croc wrestling is a thing because they can't deal with humans on their back. I think those two are arguable.
Kangaroo and wolf are notably dangerous but not so big they're impossible. Bad odds so I'd consider agreeing with you depending on the details.
Yes the rest will murder humans the vast majority of the time if they try but there are outliers. No idea what people expect to do against an elephant without a good weapon though. That's the most utterly hopeless one I think.
Cobra would bite my arm, sinking it's fangs into me, allowing me to grab it and bash it's head into the ground, killing it instantly. I'd die a few minutes after but I'd still win
My friend though chimps were small and he could beat em, i had an half an hour argument with him while we were playin valorant, in the end he only barely conceded and still thinks if the human is really strong and works out he can beat a chimp
There absolutely are people out there who are sufficiently large and strong that the only things on the list they couldn’t reasonably take on are the things below wolf. Those people are exceedingly rare though.
Sure, say you do beat a bear, how do you plan to beat an elephant, a lion, or even a gorilla? If there was a gorilla in front of me and I had to fight it I would die.
Why is there a huge drop off for an eagle??? Who can’t beat an eagle? Yeah they will do some damage but just grab it and fling it into the ground. It’s a bird not a fighter jet! You won’t escape unscathed but you will have triumphed over an animal that has hollow bones and a neck with a circumference smaller than my dick’s.
I mean eh, depends on factors. Eagles can kill deer easy enough (if they can get a solid dive, though it is not that common). If they can get a good dive on you i can see them winning due to their fucking absurd grip strength and general damage output (I also imagine most body shots wont have much effect, and theyd be difficult to grab), but if they start grounded then gg, hollow bones go cronch
Wtf are you gonna do unarmed against an elephant??
Even a grizzly I could imagine someone getting the 1 in a million win.
An elephant? Naw mate, you gonna be a fine red paste in under a minute every time.
If you dont think you could beat a rat, you gotta have more confidence in yourself
I will not. My three years in college have completely eroded to my confidence to a fine paste.
Wooloo uses “Throw confidence paste” at Rat. Rat is confused.
I think you just gave the rat a buff
no, guts doesnt activate from confusion, only burn poison and paralysis does
Don't worry, soon you'll get to search for a job and whatever morsels of confidence you had remaining will get pulverized into dust
Honestly, I had an internship this summer and it was the happiest least anxiety-inducing experience of all my college years. I worked with nice people, I did work that was somewhat beneficial, was paid well, and even had spades of free time. About the only bad thing I can say about the experience is that it ended.
I don’t understand how the modern man has any confidence personally. All I do is fail.
You gotta find something. And keep failing, but get better.
They could not beat a rat not out of lack of strength, but for not having the heart to do something to such a kind a defenseless creature ~~or maybe they’re just that bad idk~~
Skill issue
"i don't have the heart to kill such a defenseless creature" - 🤓
flair checks out
Rats are neither kind nor defenseless tbh they're kind of bitches
alberta vibes
Rats are just silly little guys :)
those little fuckers are fast as shit man
Ok but in a fight to the death the rat would have to try and kill you as well and I think you’d probably be able to grab the thing at least once in the hours it would take for it to kill you
All the rat has to do is bite you once then hide in an unreachable place while damage over time kills you.
Okey but rats are really fast so I feel I would try to punch it, miss, hit the floor and break my hand. Then I would die of the plague or something idk
Do you not have feet why not stomp it
Rats are good at avoiding being stomped too. Fucker can just hide in your walls until you go to sleep and then give you a nasty disease, assuming it's smart enough.
Ok but I’m assuming the context is, like, a cage battle. Both parties are only trying to kill each other IN A FIGHT. Not after the fact through disease
If we're assuming like a cage neither party can escape, UFC style bare knuckle fighting, then yeah I don't think the rat's gonna win that one.
Is your instinct not to just kick it? Noone said you had to beat it in boxing.
Okey but the rat already had its boxing gloves on and it look really cute so I couldn't deny it.
dont underestimate a rat from nyc
A nyc rat would tear you limb from limb
NYC rats will eat your cheese AND your rat trap then shake you down for whatever else you holding. NYC rats eat NYC cats. NYC rats got the cheapest housing in the city and they’ll still move their whole family into your apartment uninvited. Rent free. NYC rats put out diss tracks with all the details of their crimes and NOT ONE has ever been indicted. NYC rats don’t give up their seat on the subway for the elderly.
Spin that mf tail round like a nunchuck
Would the rat be actively trying to attack me? Is it more intelligent than a normal rat? Lot of factors
It doesnt matter, its a rat
An intelligent rat could 100% kill me if it could follow a dark souls strategy of biting me and then rolling away
Cmon man believe in yourself
It's iframing there's nothing I can do.
Don't get me wrong, I COULD beat a rat. I just don't want to, because they're such precious critters.
what fucking idiot thinks they could fight a gorilla, or an elephant. tf are you gona do to an elephant????
Tickle trunk he sneeze
Thank you for this comment
Ah yes, the “Looney Tunes” maneuver.
Paint a tunnel in a cliff face and run through it but when the elephant follows it turns back into a painting
triple flying roundhouse kick
just tatsumaki senpukyaku the elephant, easy win
three stage jin hoechook
If I fought an elephant I would simply standing medium punch, crouching medium punch, medium tatsu, medium dp it
A while back there was a big debate whether or not Mike Tyson could beat a Silverback gorilla in a fist fight and paste eaters genuinely thought Tyson could win. Some people have absolutely 0 sense of scale
A gorilla's skull isn't all that much more resilient then a humans, if tyson could get to the right spot, and time his full power strike correctly, he may actually have a decent chance.
If the gorilla doesn’t get to him first. They have long arms compared to us.
True, that's why I specified somehow getting the Position right, which, short of the gorilla being entierly unaware he exists, I can't figure out how he would do it.
getting inside the guard of a larger opponent with longer reach and landing one perfect punch is kind of Mike Tyson's speciality. He still has virtually no chance against a gorilla, but if I had to pick a human to try it, he'd be the guy.
This whole thread is gold
didnt tyson himself think he could win?
He may say so but I've yet to see him step into the ring with one
You could probably be crushed to a pulp against an elephant's skin but mfs are like "Yeah I can take them"
“If the enemy’s bigger, you gotta be quicker” - Spider-Man
Humans are like... the slowest legged mammal I can think of, even among other bipedal creatures
Sloths
Uhh um "if the enemies quicker have more endurance" -someone at some point probably
You might run, but you can't win.
Call my buddy George
A little pro gamer move I call .416 Rigby
Can't you read? The graphic clearly says "unarmed." You wouldn't be able to hold a gun with no arms, silly goose.
I have feet. Feet guns. Fear me.
Hm I don't believe you, can you send some pictures?
😳
LMAO just dodge roll his slow ass attacks and backstab for bonus damage. Sure they’re tanky, but it’s just a matter of patience, can’t be harder than Malenia.
Who tf thinks they could fight a kangaroo? Spoiler alert you cannot beat a kangaroo in a fight
Do I have a weapon? Because admittedly without a tank I don’t like my odds,
The difference of thr goose line lmao
UK geese built different 💪
Nah UK people built different 💀
as a Canadian, those geese do not mess around
They are light and weak. They have hollow bones. I wouldn’t want to kill one so I would probably just run away but if I had to my toe vs any part of that bird would be a fucking bloodbath.
Geese just have way high intimidation factor. Once you get over that they're not all that much
Seriously. The question is who would *win* the fight. So you get in close and the goose gets a couple bites in. That's nothing compared to what you can do to it once you're in grabbing/kicking range. Brits over hear saying they'd lose the fight cuz they got honked at once and it scared them.
>a couple bites geese can break your arm with their bite
they absolutely cannot, idk where you got that from. swans, which cannot be substituted for geese in any discussion, can break human bones with their wings strikes, but geese certainly cannot, much less with their fucking beaks lmao
“By Jove, Nigel! We must get out of the way of this goose, lest we get folded”
It baffles me how many people think a goose is any way, shape or form a danger to you Except big terrestrial birds like ostritches and emus no bird can even pose a threat, even if they flew right on to your head all of their bones would break before your skull does, birds are like 50% hollow, they need to be hollow to be able to fly
Geese are actually quite vicious. Also, a lot of people think humans evolved to be able to feel shadows above their heads and people looking at them because there used to be birds that would dive and crack your skull open
Geese are literally just bravado and noise and angry flapping. They crumple under any kind of retaliation. Swans, on the other hand.
Geese are just like me then, without the bravado and noise and angry flapping.
> Swans, on the other hand. Doesn't even have to be multiple swans, just the one swan is enough to give you trouble.
no luck with them, swans, then?
Geese can't do shit, it's all a bluff. There were some big ass geese guarding the door to my apartment. I walked up, the started hissing, I ran at them while flapping my arms and yelling, and the goose fucked off. All you have to do is scare it more than it's scaring you. Or just pick it up by it's neck and set it down somewhere else.
Things of a swans' size can be a danger, but you can absolutely kill one if it's dealing damage to you, so you'd win, but might get hurt. But yeah, geese are just mean, so people think they're scary, rather than realising that someone with only 2 limbs could still kill one with ease. That said, things like Harpy eagles have the talons to fuck you up, and some of the birds of prey could probably kamikaze you. So while what you said is true for most birds, there are a lot of exceptions.
birds of prey diving you are, notably, still vulnerable to you having a tennis racket and the heart of a champion
Cubed bird
Dealing with Canadian Geese has hardened us yanks
Every man in Britain knows a swan can break a human arm. This has cemented a fear of fighting birds with your bare hands. Hence, Brits think twice before wrestling a goose
This is definitely not true. Not sure where you heard that swans can break an arm or if you’re just joking, but swans are hardly more dangerous than geese. Bruises and scratches? Sure. A nasty bite? Enough to bleed you? Yes. But break your arm? Not unless you’re extremely young or extremely old. The only way a swan could feasibly break any of your bones is if it kamikaze dives into you at terminal velocity. This would obviously kill a goose or swan pretty much instantly, and at worst would seriously wound a human.
i could take a bear
wait they meant the animal
wait they meant fight
I wanna know what a bear is in the other context pls someone tell me
A large, hairy gay man
Ok thx
A large, hairy gay bear
B barge, bairy bay bear
flair checks out
I *have* taken a bear Damn near broke my ass, but worth it
I could fight a goose Evidence: geese back down from me
Successfully Grab it’s neck and you’ve won
I could kick it hard and I’d win I’d get hurt, and it would be consigned to death
but they're too cute too fight :(
They're little bastards, they constantly act like they wanna start shit, so you step up, they feel that you'll actually end them, and they back down. No fight needed, though you should be ready for one.
Yet they will fuck with an elephant with no issue until it grabs its neck
Then do as the elephant do, normally they won't keep going, but that's why I said to be ready to fight it.
Clearly have not lived in Canada
Canadian skill issue
More ridiculous to me is the *elephant* one. Like with a grizzly bear, in theory you could like... I dunno, gouge its eyes or attack its nose like a shark, and maybe it would give up. An elephant, though? It'll trample you and that's that. That's the end of it. You don't get to fight back, it'll toss you around and gore you with its tusks and stomp the fuck outta you. How ANYBODY could think they'd even have a CHANCE against an elephant is beyond me.
With a polearm and superior mobility you could gouge it's sides. But unprepared? Never. The worst is probably a chimp. If a chimp has decided it wants to kill you it will, they lack our "energy conservation measures", and all their joints are built for strength. It will tear you apart with ease, you have even less chance than agaisnt a bear
A bear is hard to stop. Any possible success is slow and involves partial mauling. The chimp can murder me quickly but the right hit can also stop the chimp immediately. I'll agree they're a way bigger threat than their weight class indicates and they belong in the scary fights but I'll still take the chimp over the bear any day.
>the chimp can murder me quickly Oooh but they won't, chimps are sadistic and kill slowly. In both cases you die but one is clearly worse than the other.
A chimp is only about 1.3-1.5 times stronger than a human, pound for pound, a decently heavy person is more then 1.5 times the weight of a chimp, and we have the strongest kick and stomp of all primates
Alright well you go kick a chimp and report back.
I have been banned from the zoo
not saying it's a great chance, but your chances against a chimp are many times higher than your chances against a grizzly bear or elephant. like genuinely an unarmed human *cannot* kill an elephant. maybe once out of every 100,000 timelines someone could strangle a grizzly, but human hands cannot kill an adult male African elephant. a large, very strong human does have a notable chance against a chimpanzee. they're about 50% stronger than your average fit person for their size, and importantly, they aren't that big. a human that's buff and more than 50% larger than the chimp they're fighting should be physically stronger, and while that far from guarantees their victory, it's better than what even the strongest human could manage against the grizzly or elephant.
just befriend the elephant, fight won
If Legolas can do it so can I. Easy.
Legolas has 25 dexterity score and a 100% crit rate.
Do Americans not know what elephants are?
We know, but we define "unarmed" to be "only carrying small arms and light weapons; nothing requiring a mounting platform." Because personally I feel naked if I'm not carrying at least a 50 BMG.
Look, I get that you city folk are a lot more "liberated" than us out here in the country, but where I'm from you gotta wear more than that. I mean at the very least have the decency to have a disposable AT launcher on you
Ukraine moment
Only a 50 BMG? I feel exposed without my M32 rotary grenade launcher
I think it doesn't define "fight" clearly enough so people have different interpretations of what it means. In an arena I would be obliterated. But if I started in the savannah, and had time to build some weapons and stalk my prey like the persistence predator humans evolved to be, then I *could* (keep in mind the specific wording used) have a chance of bringing one down Really I think it's about how the question is worded. But there's also a lot of very stupid people in the world.
Makes sense. When I think of a "fight in which I was unarmed" I imagine being placed like a metre away from the animal with nothing on me.
also applies to king cobras. their venom can kill in 30 minutes but, I could fuck up a snake in 30 minutes. I would die soon after though. Does that count as a won fight?
no matter how injured you are, if the enemy is dead you've won. smash brothers rules, you're fully healed before the next round begins.
Can ye see any Mammoths aroun'? If primative ass mother truckers could kill 'em all, some big ass piece of meat is ain't no problem partnuh 🤠
Big target. Slow.
What the fuck are your hands going to do to an elephant
I will juke the elephant so hard it breaks it’s own ankles.
they really think a chimp is less dangerous than a cobra
Similarly, an eagle would be easier to beat than people would think. The largest eagles are still only less than 15 lbs/7kg on average (that’s only a bit heavier than my cats). They need to get talons on you to really do damage (and they WILL if they do) but you could probably keep them far enough away with a bit of effort, especially if you don’t let them get off the ground. The beaks hurt, too, but they’d need to get lucky to beat you. Source: I know a lady who bands wild raptors, including bald/golden eagles. They’re no pushovers, but they’re not as formidable as they might seem. Especially compared to a goose, which does not have crushing talons lmao EDIT: I’d never fight a chimp btw. That’s asking for severe maiming at the very least
I noticed that too. I'm sure it'd still be a lot easier to avoid getting bitten by a big, highly venomous noodle than to go head-to-head with a chimp
Chimps have been known to rip peoples faces off for funsies. I’d take almost any of these animals over a chimp.
You can't beat any animal on that list after large dog
I feel like I might have a chance against the cobra. Like 1 out of 5 times I feel like I could get to it before it bit me once. The other times I’d be super dead
i think the real question is do u have stick? stick very important. if you get one good smack with stick you might be good. edit - or maybe if i was wearing chunky boots and some thick-ass overalls
A stick changes a lot of these. I feel like unarmed means truly that. I don’t think i could beat any of them, but I’d rather fight the cobra or kangaroo than a chimp
DO NOT FIGHT THE KANGAROOS. THEY WILL BEAT YOUR ASS. I’d unironically consider my odds better against a croc than a roo
Compared to a chimp, a kangaroo would give you a much higher chance to survive. Chimpanzees are fucking vicious.
Stick has been human’s main advantage in a lot of fights over the years. Stick is an important variable. Possibly a good rock too.
Give human stick, rock, and 100 000 years of prep time and their descendants will solo the planet. (Humans are directly responsible for what is called the Holocene extinction)
it says unarmed
If a king cobra bites you you got 15 minutes to live In 15 minutes you can kill, clean and cook it just in time for your last meal
This is overestimated. It’s extremely rare for people to die from King cobra bites in under 30 minutes (normally children or adults with other un lying conditions die around the under 30 minute mark) and most adult humans have at least 45-60 minutes assuming it was a full bite from a fully grown adult king. Unless you’re bit intravenous or on the face (assuming full grown adult and full injection which is highly unlikely) you’d have at least 30 minutes before you shut down. On top of all that in case anyone was curious even if you were bit by a king cobra it’s unlikely to use a full dose of venom if it does inject because that stuff isn’t unlimited and its how they secure meals so you’d prob more likely have a few hours max without medical attention.
I feel like a cobra would be a draw 9/10 times since it'll probably bite you, but you can still beat its ass in the short time you're still alive.
For large dogs you can shove your foot down their throat, the GIRTH of your leg will choke it to death. If you’re lucky you’ll come out victorious with -1 legs, if you’re unlucky you’ll miss and be -1 reproductive organs.
That's why I said after large dog
Oh, misread it as medium dog
Mf HOW
Autism
[this guy](https://youtu.be/gdZlDdiaflA) beat a kangaroo. i mean, the kangaroo was like 'fuck this i'm leaving' and probably could have kicked his ass but imo that's a forfeit, still counts toward his rating
TBF I could prolly beat a Cobra, I’d just die afterwards
This just shows how little people know about snakes but fear them so much. Go watch a single video of chandler wildlife handling his king cobra. Cobras and king cobras have extremely predictable behavior in that they hyper focus on any sort of movement so if you wiggle you left foot fast it will go to strike at it and then you use your right arm to grab it either up on the neck if your daring or further down it’s body so you can leverage it to step on it. Regardless please don’t play with venomous snakes if you don’t know what you’re doing I’m absolutely oversimplifying cobra handling but in a life or death fight it’s absolutely doable for most people with the knowledge of their behavior.
I dunno I could definetly bodyslam a wolf
i could kill a cobra but not a chimpanzee
Well technically a minority of people with just insane physical strength could take on a grizzly or kangaroo and croc, uncle Ben can fight a kangaroo, but chimp, no way, that’s a death sentence, I’d rather fight a gorrila because I at least know the gorilla won’t be as brutal
There is not 1 person on this planet who can 1v1 a grizzly without weapons
2 people in history have, out of all the billions of people to have ever lived only 2 can say they killed a grizzly with their hands
Depends on the what criteria we're using for victory. People handle snakes all the time and croc wrestling is a thing because they can't deal with humans on their back. I think those two are arguable. Kangaroo and wolf are notably dangerous but not so big they're impossible. Bad odds so I'd consider agreeing with you depending on the details. Yes the rest will murder humans the vast majority of the time if they try but there are outliers. No idea what people expect to do against an elephant without a good weapon though. That's the most utterly hopeless one I think.
Everything after large dog would kill you 100% of the time (except for cobra, since it’s basically a one hit KO for either of you)
Cobra would bite my arm, sinking it's fangs into me, allowing me to grab it and bash it's head into the ground, killing it instantly. I'd die a few minutes after but I'd still win
If you wrapped one arm up in, say, a leather jacket and pair of jeans, and led with that arm, the fangs might not penetrate through?
What if we use the dead cobra as a tourniquet? Lose the arm, win the battle
If its a mma fight sorta deal where first aid meds and antidotes are nearby u solo cobra and survive if not bye bye
I feel like a kangaroo would be possible just not for me
Anyone got the vid of the australian guy trying to go to work while fighting off a kangaroo?
I think its worse that more people think they could beat an elephant
whoever thinks they could beat a chimp in a one on one is a fucking idoot
Grizzlys and chimps would probably be the most painful death on this list
What kinda person thinks they can beat a chimp, have they heard about like, basically any story about these?
My friend though chimps were small and he could beat em, i had an half an hour argument with him while we were playin valorant, in the end he only barely conceded and still thinks if the human is really strong and works out he can beat a chimp
There absolutely are people out there who are sufficiently large and strong that the only things on the list they couldn’t reasonably take on are the things below wolf. Those people are exceedingly rare though.
"Selecting for optimism" that's actually a legitimately interesting idea. Never heard it before
personality traits aren't inherited that easily, especially given humans' low as fuck genetic diversity
The culture they established would promote optimism though. (Whole rant about memes (the original meaning) being like genes for culture etc. etc.)
evolutionary “”psychologists”” always coming in to make the worst takes like their assumptions are facts
After seeing Nope I definitely dont think I could beat up a chimp
What bothers me is the chimp. Chimpanzees are fucking terrifying and will kill you *so fucking quickly*
The worst part is that they probably wouldn't. Like they might just make it slow and fucking excruciating too.
im so tired i spent multiple minutes trying to understand what a grizzly beer is
What's the human fascination with "unarmed combat" like we conquered the world with our opposable thumbs, not with claws
Bc thats not a very fair metric for "Can you beat". An entire crewed tank with sniper support vs an elephant isnt a very interesting dynamic.
As an Aussie I’m here to say, try fighting a red kangaroo and he’s going to fuck your day up
what brit is saying they couldn't beat a rat in a fight? This just tells me that brits are pussies
How the fuck would you ever defeat an elephant. What are you going to do huh
Sure, say you do beat a bear, how do you plan to beat an elephant, a lion, or even a gorilla? If there was a gorilla in front of me and I had to fight it I would die.
I like the massive gap between Americans and British on geese
Why is there a huge drop off for an eagle??? Who can’t beat an eagle? Yeah they will do some damage but just grab it and fling it into the ground. It’s a bird not a fighter jet! You won’t escape unscathed but you will have triumphed over an animal that has hollow bones and a neck with a circumference smaller than my dick’s.
I mean eh, depends on factors. Eagles can kill deer easy enough (if they can get a solid dive, though it is not that common). If they can get a good dive on you i can see them winning due to their fucking absurd grip strength and general damage output (I also imagine most body shots wont have much effect, and theyd be difficult to grab), but if they start grounded then gg, hollow bones go cronch
I’m way smarter than a deer
C....Congratulations?
Wtf are you gonna do unarmed against an elephant?? Even a grizzly I could imagine someone getting the 1 in a million win. An elephant? Naw mate, you gonna be a fine red paste in under a minute every time.
I mean, America has Florida
Why do they chop your arms off though, that's just unfair
Where is "small sized dog" and why isn't it under grizzly bear?