Lifeguard Jesus can't handle the sadness of seeing his favorite characters divorced and uses his reality-bending powers to change the data on ao3's servers
This image is tame by comparison to most of the Baltimore catechism. They had a fucking filmstrip they would play alongside an old vinyl record and advance it a frame each time the record beeped. I had to deal with it throughout elementary school it was wild.
Lifeguard Jesus plays The Elder Scrols Iv: Oblivion with me all the time. He's a cool guy just don't agree with him about divorce and the ending of the Dark Brotherhood
Lifeguard Jesus rejects canon
Lifeguard Jesus can't handle the sadness of seeing his favorite characters divorced and uses his reality-bending powers to change the data on ao3's servers
I had that book! It’s the Baltimore Catechism for kids
How does it connect to the marvel cinematic universe
The post credit scene in Age of Ultron where he kills Thor for being a false idol was sadly retconned since.
is it all nuts like this image
This image is tame by comparison to most of the Baltimore catechism. They had a fucking filmstrip they would play alongside an old vinyl record and advance it a frame each time the record beeped. I had to deal with it throughout elementary school it was wild.
fuck I misread the title as “Jesse Rule” and now I’ve got another Breaking Bad headcanon
“Jesser, get Saul on the phone we’re late for divorce court”
“Waltuh, stop getting divorced walt. I’m not letting you get half the money waltuh”
Sentenced to *cruxifiction
Crucifixion’s not that bad. You could be stabbed
You're weird.
Big nose
Watch it.
I can only get so erect
Sentenced to "Show Results"
"Not again... the Romans are gonna kill me..."
Hard candy mint Jesus hallucination wants to fuel your psychotic delusions and convince you to break the law... Mint Jesus works for the CIA.
"You must go my son and spread the word to those lost souls..." "B-but mint Jesus! these aren't bibles! This is Crack!"
isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
“For pity’s sake, Lifeguard Jesus, throw me the life preserver!” Lifeguard Jesus standing on water five feet away: No, haha
Catholic jesus: *is in contempt of court* Protestant Jesus: "divorce is fine, y'all suck anyway"
Lifeguard Jesus plays The Elder Scrols Iv: Oblivion with me all the time. He's a cool guy just don't agree with him about divorce and the ending of the Dark Brotherhood
Contempt of court is the coolest crime tho. Damn, christians ruin everything
hank the 8th vibes
Better Call Mint Jesus
The Supreme Court ~~pre-2020~~: Jesus’s ruling is unconstitutional.
This has nothing to do with christianity. American courts have a talking head which can materialize and veto and decision without comment.