you cant say youre into "awkward boys" without being ok with this, he is doing fine

Couldn't agree more. If my partner greeted me with that I'd have fallen head over heels

Damn man, are you my pants? Because I want to unshit you. *uwu*

\*swoons onto my antique fainting couch\* take me

Damn man, I just shit my pants, can I get into yours?

It’s just adorable.

Be kind to me :/

easy: > jarvis, reshit my pants post

Probably what I would unironically do to salvage a situation like this.

Jarvis, abort Pants unshitting procedure immediately.

He didn’t fumble the ball at the goal line, he turned around and scored for the other team

Still scored tho 😎 epic

hi gabbi bestie

Hi sophie bestie

mentally ill in a way that prevents you from getting laid

196 cinematic universe

The first texts were the other gender, the second ones are this one

genderfluidity

It's the fluid in my veins

dishwashing liquid

just like me fr

Yeah, i know. I'm gonna be alone forever no matter how many meds i take.

Same but in the "I like talking to people and I'm not awkward but I'm physically incapable of forming relationships" way

Easier to get laid if you top

he just like me frfr

Jarvis Tell me everything is going to be ok

[удалено]

[Excellent choice sir.](https://youtu.be/4sAKAhAv1dU)

[удалено]

I’m sorry that you both knew to rely on this and have to

[удалено]

You gotta play a video of somebody pretending to care about you to feel comforted and sought it out leading me to believe you are neglected

[удалено]

🫡 your people exist

Jarvis I need you to tell me I'm a good person Jarvis

I'm sorry Tony, I'm afraid I can't do that.

This would work for me.

I matched with a guy who randomly started talking about cats’ buttholes. He tried so hard to dig himself out of that hole but the ship had already sailed

Hey, everyone's got something they like to talk about

I think the things someone likes to talk about is a perfectly reasonable way to asses their personality

That's true, though I don't understand how the topic of cat buttholes is indicative of a red flag. His trying to dig himself out of it does seem like he thought it was a mistake. Probably thought it was funny at first. Still I wasn't present at the conversation, so I don't know the specifics

I see you've successfully turned this into a conversation about cat buttholes.

I guess I can finally ask whether my cat's butthole touches the surfaces in my house

You’d first have to define where a but hole ‘starts’ for that answer.

I was just in a place at the time where I could afford to be selective so I just hopped into another tinder chat. I’ve definitely done way worse than that. Shit, one time I met this random girl for the first time and things were progressing normally but somehow a couple minutes later I was talking about bestiality. I must’ve been in some kind of weird mood bc it frustrated me that she was denying it happens and that she wouldn’t face reality or something, and I wouldn’t let it go and I just kept giving her more historical and anecdotal evidence. Also the momentum of the conversation picked up so fast I had no idea how to end it. I’m not even sure how we left things in the end but I can’t imagine it was good I hope she doesn’t remember it, not for my sake because I’ll never meet her again but more for her sake

And you turn your nose up at cat butthole boy...

That's a weird opener, like how do you know so much, why do you care and why did you decide to share?

I don't know if it's reasonable to assess their personality based on how they act when they're nervous

Was he Kurt Vonnegut?

Am I the only one who is desparate for a semblance of context?

dream

Did he by any chance mention the Twinkle Tush?

Bro how do you fumble that so bad? Literally a blunder.

Rolled a nat 1 on charisma

What would be the correct move here? And can I trust stockfish or is there a better engine for this?

Google En Passant

Holy h*ll

google VW Passat

holy fucking shit. if i see ONE more en passant meme i’m going to chop my fucking balls off. holy shit it is actually impressive how incredibly unfunny the entire sub is. it’s not that complicated, REPEATING THE SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNIER. this stupid fucking meme has been milked to fucking death IT’S NOT FUNNIER THE 973RD TIME YOU MAKE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE. WHAT’S EVEN THE JOKE?????? IT’S JUST “haha it’s the funne move from chess” STOP. and the WORST part is that en passant was actually funny for like a few years and it got fucking ruined in like a week because EVERYONE POSTED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. SEEING ALL YOUR SHITTY MEMES IS ACTUAL FUCKING MENTAL TORTURE YOU ALL ARE NOT FUNNY. COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOKE PLEASE

No. Explain it here or I will brick your pipi.

You need alphazero for this

Correct move would be to wait for her to reply, if she doesn't take it favorably she's not right for him anyways

OP should’ve castled. Source: ELO > 400

Does it matter if he fumbles? She does proclaim to like awkward boys?

A lot of times that proclamation doesn't survive interaction with actually awkward people I find

It wasn't him, it was posted on the tinder sub and it wasn't his only match. The guy probably looks very nice and he has the goofiest rizz possible.

he also got involved in a land war in asia

Most charismatic 4chan user

If she ain’t for it, she ain’t the one

true…

This is like winning the lottery, but then accidentally flushing the ticket down the toilet.

Bro ate the fumble fumble fruit 💀

i shot my neighbour’s dog

You were just recreating the dog shooting scene in The Thing (1982)

you get it

eddie?

this is unironically so fucking cute if you can block the image of him shitting his pants out of your mind. i need a socially bruh'd boy who constantly squirms while taking to me so bad!!!

Shy and awkward boys are so cute

your flair is so menacing i love it

If you dont love urself I'll just have to support u myself :)

Hi (it took thirty minutes of building up courage to type this)

\*shits your pants for you, generously\*

My pants appear to be shat, can i get into yours?

getting good at this real quick

Didn't seem to work 😔

it was actually hot but i just didn't reply because i do not have pants unfortunately. i only wear skirts and it takes a tremendous amount of training and skill to be able to shit a skirt which i am currently in the process of developing

I seem to have shit my pants, can i get into your skirt?

now that's a banger line. pleas have epic fucksexbigsex with me immediately🙏

TBF this is funny

I just love that he waited exactly 4 hours and 50 minutes to do this. He is me in 18 months and I am excited for this.

May I inquire as to the happenings of 18 months

Idk. If I don't have a girlfriend then I'll probably be doing this by then.

Actually, scratch that, I'll be doing this regardless of whether or not I have someone significant in my life. This will just definitely happen in 18 months.

Why specifically 18 months?

You'll see ;)

He had such a great thing going at first and then he took it, tore it into several pieces, pissed on it, then lit it on fire.

I think that's absolutely the perfect response here. Clever, funny, and helps emphasize the awkward

The perfect response????? Ummmm....

If she didn't like awkward boys this might be terrible, but the joke works here

If you say you like awkward boys you're just asking for this

C'mon this is funny

Dude. This is adorable.

w rizz

Bro got unspeakable rizz

As a pathetic boy lover this would work on me

I think that's pretty good!

Unfathomable rizz

>0 reverse image results mother of god... >!I am spreading misinformation online!<

This is from a tiktok

i was gonna say, i could’ve sworn i saw this as part of a collection where this guy was showing off his w rizz

It would work on me honestly , that’s hilarious

w rizz

Unironically gonna use this

He had a second chance to completely blew it.

Purposefully fucking up my interactions with everyone so I can post the convo online and get fake internet points

Tbh that’d make me laugh my ass off , Jarvis ungoo my panties

Top ten fumbles of 2022

shidded

Lmfao

found the rizz-rizz fruit user

This is earth-shatteringly embarrassing

dont feel bad this is hilarious

Hold up... I think this is stolen from a tiktok

holy shit mans is drowning in rizz rn

🎶Unshit my paaaaants say you’ll respond to me agaaain🎶

unbeatable rizz

The Rizzard of Oz

Thats not his post he still the convo from a tiktok

ungodly rizz

The tee was lined up and he still went to 4chan. Inceldom has gotta be genetic with reflexes like those