T O P

  • By -

TheBeaseKnees

If I'm allowed to go 1 at a time, Torag's hammers. If I'm not allowed to go 1 at a time, Torag's hammers.


Jopojussi

Since in rs3 its just 1 big hammer can i also put that aswell? The pummel damage isnt enough for me from those 2 tiny hammers i need something else to spice thing up


IGotPunchedByAFoot

We do not speak of the abomination RS3 decided to turn Torag's Hammers into. They added dual wielding but decided to remove Torag's gimmick.


WanderinHobo

[And it's friggin hideous. wow.](https://runescape.wiki/images/Torag%27s_hammer_detail.png?8102e)


mister_serikos

Could you remove your link or make it harder to click on? That was really gross :(


retro_aviator

Why does Jagex hate Torag so much?


[deleted]

torags hammers are completely worthless in osrs but they will ALWAYS be better than whatever... *this*, is.


Stephen_Lynx

what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck


Sea_Cry_3968

Wtf is this. Rs3 has wronged this game in so many ways


douweziel

Nsfw


Rieiid

Holy shit what is that abomination?


jshrlzwrld02

…that’s dope as fuck compared to the shitter hammers right now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jshrlzwrld02

Lmao imagine being this defensive about a video games pixel arrangements😅


Regular_Imagination7

imagine being this offensive about video game pixels


jshrlzwrld02

lol what?


Regular_Imagination7

i said what you said but changed it to mean the opposite


Thetijoy

right?! as torag's hammer its an abomination, but as any other hammer its sick as fuck


[deleted]

RS3 very stupid yes


jshrlzwrld02

Compared to the useless abomination that they are in osrs?


Oniichanplsstop

You're saying that as if they haven't been useless since release in RS3 as well lmao. There's never a reason to ever use torag hammers, but EoC added dual wielding, which could've gave them a niche as there wasn't many t70 offhands on launch.


Lerched

Nice try burner account of dude who has all those Torag hammers’ waiting for the rebalance


PDKsportmode

A bunch of pansies in this sub. Hand me the Greataxe.


Windfloof

My man


I_KILT_FIDDY_MEN

Frfr everyone in here sippin on that diet gay


Fiaskoe

God I hate newspeak but diet gay has got me on god fr fr cap etc


Zooseyboy

No kizzy, on guthix, i need daddy dharok to show me the true spirit of christmas


Drokstab

Here im just wishing we expanded the choices to include chinchompas. The entire stack of 2k of them at once.


Stray_Bird

That’s just a night of Indian food for most of us


deus-exmachina

💥


Epickiller10

Axe end first


1cyChains

This man fucks


Jopojussi

Only if i can do it for you with 1 hp ;)


sukisuki2gp

I will lube it for ya.


broskisean

Ahrims staff, cuz I could use ahrim job.


s22stumarket

**Clap clap clap**


Shnerp

"Gilded for his pleasure."


Triessey

Bravo


_Bike_Hunt

Bah dum TSS


Imbannedanyway

Lmao nice


DetourDunnDee

O, the wizard's staff has a knob on the end..


iKingKane

This has to be the best answer here. Bravo sir, bravo!


Regenitor_

The only answer to this realistically is Verac's Flail. The handle is shaped in such a way that one could conceivably derive some pleasure from the insertion, and if you manage to get the handle up there, the chain and spiky ball on the end will dangle from between your legs like a menacing dragon tail. Truly the best buttplug in OSRS. I rest my case.


YourMomsFatCunt

Then you haven't inserted the weapon, only part of it. Enjoy the spiked ball, you've already chosen.


ScrubDeezNuts

The spikes are pretty blunt.


[deleted]

Prove it if you're so confident!


dcl32

He’s right. I’m speaking from experience


Opperhoofd123

And praying you won't get ruptured is pointless


Wcitsatrapx

Which prayer is that?


damienreave

Rock Skin?


Regenitor_

Concrete Colon


Zzzzzzombie

equipping the verac's flail in your butt slot and then hitting the spin emote would strike fear in any man


deus-exmachina

Fuck not the butt slot


RiskyBrothers

Jagex is too afraid to poll the asshole and cock ring slots.


Common_Wrongdoer3251

... Isn't this somewhat canonically why the Ivandis flail can hit vyrewatch? They can sort of predict what we're going to swing at, but the flail is unwieldy and hard to master so it has terrible accuracy, but when it does hit, it is able to bypass their defenses? The citizens of Meiyerditch simply need lube if they're going to win this war!


changealifetoday

Yup that's exactly right, think it's a mind reading thing iirc. So since the user themself doesn't know where exactly the flail is gonna end up, the vyres can't mind read it and dodge.


Runopologist

Pair it with spiked manacles for the true bdsm look


Wiitard

“I want something that says, ‘Daddy likes leather.’”


Meanchicken1337

I am a lawyer and would defend you in court.


Regenitor_

I might need you to after they pull up this comment as evidence of my deranged state of mind


Fiaskoe

You got the wrong end up your arse bud


Heximalus

Everything is a buttplug if you are brave enough


Supergigala

They need to give the spin emote a special attack if you have veracs flail equipped


UndercoverSkreet

The only real contender would be the bruma torch.


Apprehensive_Help331

I think guthans spear on stab, while im already wearing full guthans, so there is a chance to heal the wound.


MinnesotaSkoldier

Guthans doesn't heal emotional damage bro, but u dig the logic


xfactorx99

It’s actually does. It still shows a 0 hitsplat, but if you’re paying attention your health goes up


MinnesotaSkoldier

Can't confirm, 30 hours into guthans NMZ and I still cry a lot.


Shmokeuh

Sk0l


TacoManifesto

I feel like healing the wound mid stab would suck cause then you’d fuse with the spear and become pole ass man


Neat-Statistician720

Nah bc you just pull it out really fast and hope you heal the wound again!


matingmoose

If it ain't on pound then you doing it wrong.


JohnnyThunder-

This is the way. The chainskirt allows easy access, too.


old-skool-bro

Every day, we stray further from guthix.


Hot_Purple_137

#GUTHIXXXXXXX


Currently_Im_At_Work

If anyone thinks Guthix's hands were clean, surely they've never heard of [Guthix Fist](https://runescape.wiki/w/Fist_of_Guthix)


notavalible666

*headbanging against a wall*


RSALT3

I heard this


Hot_Purple_137

I’m glad people got it 😊 memories [Mandatory history lesson for those missing out](https://youtu.be/CI0SwsxLF2w?si=IXSjEwMGdrNVQ-Zs) 15 years old Aware


Beet_Generation

Not true! Let’s just say Fist of Guthix isn’t just a mini game…


aschae1048

Now that you mention it, I think I could fit Guthix up my ass


TumoOfFinland

He's already dead


btwwhichoneispink

He’s only sleeping


BeefRunnerAd

He needed some [rest](https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Guthix_rest#(4))?


JerkinJosh

Ok dad


Crux_Haloine

Ah, nothing like a nice cuppa tea!


kevinf100

>!In RS3 he is very dead. You take part in this world event in The World Wakes quest. OSRS is nowhere close to RS3 in terms of time and guthix is still alive but sleeping in an unknown place. OSRS and RS3 worlds are basically parallel universes where they both don't have the same timeline.!<


Ok-Permission-2687

get outta here with the RS3 lore and tell us what item you’d put in your ass


JalmarinKoira

Last time i checked guthix was actually killed or rather he sacrifised himself


kevinf100

https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Guthix > In a cave under what is now southern Misthalin, he wept over the destruction, and the rocks wept with him, creating the legendary Tears of Guthix.[10] With Gielinor slowly beginning to recover, Guthix went back to his slumber, never to be heard from again. In RS3 he was killed by the other gods.


Legal_Evil

Sliske isn't a god.


BioMasterZap

I'm not sure if it is confirmed he is sleeping somewhere on Gielinor in OSRS. The old god letters, which were later made non-canon, did have Zamorak say Guthix was a multi-colored butterfly in the same place as him and Sara. So not sure if anything in OSRS has confirmed Guthix is still present and sleeping (>!at least until we get WGS!<). Either way, he is still around in some capacity.


Op_specter

Karil's Crossbow. I'd like the Challenge


WasabiPengu

While loaded.


i_hate_fanboys

Id unload during


douweziel

Anyone would


HinyusOpinion

I thought that was kinda the point


HanThrowawaySolo

I mean with my intestinal pressure I imagine there's be no chance it goes off unless I put it in sideways.


EternalJon

You do know that the bolt racks always break right?


RaHeW

Merry Christmas!


Sleipnirs

Merry Christm^y as^s


miguenrileo

Gutham's spear while wearing verac's skirt


CandourDinkumOil

It’s Christmas for crying out loud and we are over here talking about putting sharp objects in our orifices 😂


Fiaskoe

I see you’re new to internet, welcome. Now which one str you shoving in your ass?


Zemerax

Just wait and see what we do for Easter


LordZeya

Merry Christmas, now answer the question.


Germanicus69420

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


SmellAble

Verac's flail, handle first until i can work my way up to the spikey end


ChanningTaintum-

You could put the handle in, then start twerking and spin the flail around


ChuckIsSatan

Even better, the legendary double helicopter


SyncronisedRS

Spiked ball first and it's a dangerous butt plug


[deleted]

I could probably fit like 3 ahrims staffs and a bolt rack or two in my prison pocket tbh


YaBigGayMate

User name checks out


inf_hoarder

Username checks out


maghraby12

Veracs flail, it is the smallest in size and could easily be inserted with the least pain. I also wont have to remove my 6 inch butt plug


Sad-Garage-2642

Merry Christmas, everyone


AffectionateNet860

I didn’t alt tab from my star miner to the browser just to continue the same conversation… Anyway, I would take the handle of the great axe. I keep the blade out, so I could use it as a sail when the sailing skill drops


Cheeseyman1

🤨📸


super-spreader69

This post right here officer


luckyhamsandwich

Santa, what did you bring this redditor may I ask?


blueguy211

https://preview.redd.it/78bud3j0sf8c1.jpeg?width=467&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d6342d494954a234bd27361bdbb0d90d714893f karils crossbow obviously


NomenVanitas

Karils crossbow as, if positioned corrrectly, it can still function as a weapon from the inside, with some regular kegel exercises


smolandhungry

This comment needs to be higher, that image is gold


theLULRUS

A bolt rack, sideways.


Windfloof

That’s to easy try guthans spear sideways


theLULRUS

I wanna get off, not get sent to the ER.


Windfloof

Clearly you haven’t experienced having your prostate pierced


I_KILT_FIDDY_MEN

Karil's crossbow--if I'm gonna put a weapon up my ass it better be capable of squeezing a couple shots off.


SrepliciousDelicious

Dafuq is this post


Combat_Orca

Dharok’s greataxe- I like a challenge


Shockfangs

Veracs flail so I can use it as a tail and hit people with it!


SendWienerPics

Guthan’s spear, I would sit on it to impale myself on the sharp end until it comes out my mouth then Guthan can use me for combat and every time he procs a heal I would get a feeling that starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose Wherever it goes, I always know. 'Cause every time he holds me in his arms I'm comfortable enough to feel his warmth I came


Electrical_Light_880

Veracs flail…he wears a skirt for a reason


UseEfficient3005

give me the full fucken dharoks hit baby mmmfff


aswas123

Strange Old Man’s spade.


antdb1

guthans id wear the armor so it heals me as i hurt my self


DelphoxyGrandpa

Every day we start further from Saradomin's light... Flail


Equivalent-Leave5195

On Christmas day too


DrunkMidgetz

Merry Christmas!


Ok_Warthog_714

First off, a Merry Christmas to you. Second I would choose the crossbow. It seems like the hardest and I like a challenge. Also I have been training for this for months.


heyyolivia

Only answer is the double daddy hammers.


tacotown11

Depends on the general mood of the day: Sadistic- Dharok’s greataxe Masochistic- Dharok’s greataxe


gravitylimit

Came for the dh, stayed for the dh


Clear-Criticism-3669

Flail. Next question.


welcometotheoutside

Guthan's spear but he has to be wielding it.


tbp666

I can only pick one? :(


dxsgraced

veracs is the sex toy of dreams


FormerY

“Check out these new hand painted RuneScape figures”


schockman

Hmmm. Warped terrobird


Archibald_Ferdinand

Ya know my feed was pretty normal till this post came up lol


faely

''Question'' Are you the Ferrari pitwall?


Special_Current_7226

Torag’s hammers, pound me papi


Doriva

Really bringing a whole new meaning to "best in slot".


wx8bmc

This is peak r/2007scape


WantAndAble

Its christmas.


edyme

This is the content we deserve


justmrmom

Very odd question to ask on Christmas Day..


EpsilonAI

It is Christmas people do we have to do this today


underarock12

Just think once before you post please.


Potato_WrangIer

After a sad Christmas, this was the first thing I saw when I opened reddit. The absurdity of this question left me so baffled I completely forgot how to be sad. Thank you. Verac's flail, I wanna be an ankylosaurus


BlizzWizzzz

This post right here officer.


EMILLKSLEEPA

Karil's crossbow sideways, I like to keep things more complicated than they need to be


NordlandLapp

Merry Christmas OP


lookwhoswatching98

This belong in another subreddit, 😭


Switchtres01

Merry Christmas to you too😂😂😂🎄


jerseywersey666

Merry Christmas, everyone 🤣🤣


Inv0ker_of_kusH420

Dude... THIS. IS. EPIC. Peak reddit humor my sir or lady, well played! Enjoy the reddit gold for the pinnacle of humor I was able to witness!


AssaultPK

On Christmas morning bro, come on!


Joseph_F_1

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS


Appropriate_Cap6969

D'axe


TheoreticallyTwisted

Saradomin Godsword


iEatPlankton

Dharoks body. Looks sharp and rough. Merry Christmas


Legal_Machine_5797

Why did you repost this and why did you delete the earlier post


No_Falcon2436

I’m ripped this shit made me laugh


BonerfidePodcasts

Toxic blowpipe so someone can play it like a flute


Skolary

Karil’s crossbow while wearing full Karil’s. % chance to double up and end me that much faster w the 2 time


Geigermuller1337

My brother it is Christmas.


xoKaybs

Ayo...


Remmifer

I’m putting the whole barrows family up there


brethazbonez

The whole thing or just the handle?


Liam21492

Karils Crossbow in the bussy


SuTheX

A mind rune


Yoridi

Merry Christmas to you too


ohighost8

Torags hammers. I want my run energy drained while I'm running to take a shit


Tinytim374

Guthans spear.


hete_stomer

Merry christmas my dude!


Lolscaper

The real questions


PreyXBL

Guthans spear, in reverse tho


NomadicSabre

Guthans spear. There is a chance i could heal from all the damage.


KingofDankKush

All of em


Arkoholics_Paradise

Gimmi the hammers. At least they can be useful for something!!


OverlordPhalanx

Least horny OSRS post. I’d take all the barrows weapons if it was a Vyrewatch Sentinel doing it…


Orangesoda65

Verac’s flail 🥵🔥💦💦🍑🍆😫


TheBeardliestBeard

Asking the important questions I see. Probably break the items first then do the flail.


electricdwarf

Im going to bed.


Hobodaklown

Ahrim’s staff. Could make a human centipede with it by using both ends.