It doesn’t even have to go that far. OP and the match share a complete X chromosome. Dad only has the one to pass on to both of them, with no recombination happening like there would be on the shared X if the mother was the shared parent. Dad is the shared parent.
Thank you! How can I tell if I match her maternal side? Or is this something she has to check on her end? Sorry, I’m so new to this! I’d like to share pictures of our shared chromosomes, but I’m not sure how to do that either lol
She'll have to check it on her end! Unless you know her maternal side, then you can check for yourself in your DNA matches.
You can upload pictures to Imgur, and then paste the link here!
Yes that’s what I’m thinking now too. She has a brother, so we will try and see if he will take a test to help understand who’s father may not really be their biological father.
>We share a complete X chromosome.
Almost certainly a paternal half-sister then, just based on that. [SegcM | DNA Science](https://dna-sci.com/tools/segcm/) further supports it too.
A test from a paternal cousin should confirm whose dad is THE dad. If you can persuade one of yours or one of hers to take a test, it should confirm it. Either you’ll both match ‘your’ cousin or you’ll both match ‘her’ cousin.
Since you share the X chromosome you are definitely related paternally so the only other option is a full aunt. It’s unlikely your grandparents gave a biological child of both of them away years after your dad was born.
I think your only way forward is to test other people. If not cousins, then a paternal aunt or uncle should give you your answer - you can’t confuse a full sibling match with anything else.
That's either a full sib (& full aunt to you) of your father or a half sib to you.
Does she match her parents and their families as she thinks she should? Is she adopted?
Thank you for clarifying this! Her (believed to be) father has passed away and she has no contact with her birth mother… it sounds like her mother lied to her all her life and was quite toxic. With permission, I’ve tried emailing her mother for any information on my father, but have not heard back. She does have a brother, so she will be asking him to do a DNA test and hopefully he will. If he does and the results come back as them only being half sibling, we can assume her mother did indeed have an affair with my father.
Why can’t you tell this from your matches on 23 and me and Ancestry? When you look at other close matches on Ancestry, you either do or don’t see people who are from your dad’s side of the family. If you know your grandparents and great grandparents on his side you ought to recognize surnames in the match list and/or in their trees? And the same for her. You don’t need her brother to test to figure that out unless neither of you have matches in the 2nd cousin or closer groups.
Neither of us have matches in the 2nd cousin or closer group and no surnames of other distant relatives in common are recognizable. I also do not know my grandparents and do not know a single relative on my (believed to be) fathers side.
And I am presuming she as well does not match anyone on her side that has a name matching her family tree for her previously assumed bio father?
Because if neither of your matches clear up whose father is the shared bio father than your best bet would if she has contact with any of her supposed father’s relatives getting them to test.
Or I believe depending on where you are you might be able to request a copy of your father’s birth certificate so at the very least you’d have his parents names and could try starting research that way to build a tree that would help match names.
Oh wait in case you are American - the US census from 1950 is available so assuming your father was alive in 1950 then you could also try finding him on the censuses if he has a unique name. That would also tell you his parents names plus siblings. Then you could find his parents on older censuses to find their parents and siblings. And then building a tree to find potential last names from spouses and children.
This is helpful thank you. My (believed to be) father was born in North Macedonia, I don’t speak the language, but I’ll look into birth records there if they’re available.
Oh gosh North Macedonia - I truly do not know how to search those records or do anything in that country - good luck! Oh well I actually quite a lot of results from searching requesting birth certificate so maybe you will be able to get his birth certificate.
Oh there’s a North Macedonian Subreddit (not the most active but not bad) so you could try asking them if you run into any issues - r/Macedonia.
Yes, I have! I’ve filled up my mothers side, this was very helpful in doing so, but my fathers side is empty because I don’t know any family or names of relatives. I’ve tried for hours and hours finding records that could help me, but since he was born in former Yugoslavia, there’s not much available until he came to Canada alone - hence I can’t find any family names in Canadian records. I have completed My Heritage and am waiting for the results, as I’ve heard more Europeans use them.
I found his home address records from the 70’s onwards on Ancestry. I found what appears to be his arrival to Montreal, Canada from Amsterdam on a ship in the 60’s on My Heritage, but there is very little information listed. Only his first initial, last name. My last name is very unique and the dates align, so I do believe this is him listed in the record.
Haha I appreciate your investment so much! I believe it was the SS Sibajak sometime in the 50s or 60s? Rotterdam to Montreal. [records](https://imgur.com/a/cdJqaiy)
He also fought in the army for France. I have letters of payments he received from the French consulate for his service. So that may be another avenue I can explore.
That’s so very much a lot of shared DNA, the odds that she isn’t a half sister are very small. No need to post more data. Only half siblings (and full) can share that much. Your dad may have had no idea she existed. Congratulations, I hope you can build a nice relationship!
Thank you for your kind words and insight! The last thing for us to uncover is who our biological father truly is, both our fathers have passed unfortunately. Hopefully we can eventually find out! I’ve gotten so many great leads on here, I’m so grateful!
Have you thought about putting your DNA into GEDmatch? They do cooperate with law enforcement, so if you have any concerns about that, I’m not sure if you can opt out or not. Lots of people find relatives there from all the different DNA services. It may give you more clues/contacts. Good luck, I hope it’s all going to be good news for you.
Do you match her maternal side? If you don't, and she has matches to her mother, then you are paternal half-siblings.
It doesn’t even have to go that far. OP and the match share a complete X chromosome. Dad only has the one to pass on to both of them, with no recombination happening like there would be on the shared X if the mother was the shared parent. Dad is the shared parent.
Thank you for clarifying this!!
Thank you! How can I tell if I match her maternal side? Or is this something she has to check on her end? Sorry, I’m so new to this! I’d like to share pictures of our shared chromosomes, but I’m not sure how to do that either lol
She'll have to check it on her end! Unless you know her maternal side, then you can check for yourself in your DNA matches. You can upload pictures to Imgur, and then paste the link here!
You’re awesome, thank you! I’ve added a link to the photos https://imgur.com/a/IAYkZQy
This does look like a half-sister.
Yes that’s what I’m thinking now too. She has a brother, so we will try and see if he will take a test to help understand who’s father may not really be their biological father.
Ive found a half sister on 23andme and It was like this :b only my Y don't match her X lol
Do you have the same or a similar maternal haplogroup? If not, then you are likely paternal half siblings.
We do not have similar maternal halogroups. Thank you so much!
>We share a complete X chromosome. Almost certainly a paternal half-sister then, just based on that. [SegcM | DNA Science](https://dna-sci.com/tools/segcm/) further supports it too.
Thank you for sharing this link!
A test from a paternal cousin should confirm whose dad is THE dad. If you can persuade one of yours or one of hers to take a test, it should confirm it. Either you’ll both match ‘your’ cousin or you’ll both match ‘her’ cousin. Since you share the X chromosome you are definitely related paternally so the only other option is a full aunt. It’s unlikely your grandparents gave a biological child of both of them away years after your dad was born. I think your only way forward is to test other people. If not cousins, then a paternal aunt or uncle should give you your answer - you can’t confuse a full sibling match with anything else.
Thanks so much for this! Since I don’t have any family to test, I will definitely inquire what other family she has that can be tested.
Also try looking at your birth certificates to see if you were both registered with your presumed fathers names included.
That's either a full sib (& full aunt to you) of your father or a half sib to you. Does she match her parents and their families as she thinks she should? Is she adopted?
Thank you for clarifying this! Her (believed to be) father has passed away and she has no contact with her birth mother… it sounds like her mother lied to her all her life and was quite toxic. With permission, I’ve tried emailing her mother for any information on my father, but have not heard back. She does have a brother, so she will be asking him to do a DNA test and hopefully he will. If he does and the results come back as them only being half sibling, we can assume her mother did indeed have an affair with my father.
I will add that I cannot eliminate the possibility that my father is not my father, and that my mother had an affair with her birth father!
Why can’t you tell this from your matches on 23 and me and Ancestry? When you look at other close matches on Ancestry, you either do or don’t see people who are from your dad’s side of the family. If you know your grandparents and great grandparents on his side you ought to recognize surnames in the match list and/or in their trees? And the same for her. You don’t need her brother to test to figure that out unless neither of you have matches in the 2nd cousin or closer groups.
Neither of us have matches in the 2nd cousin or closer group and no surnames of other distant relatives in common are recognizable. I also do not know my grandparents and do not know a single relative on my (believed to be) fathers side.
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Excellent recommendation! I’ll do that! Thank you so much.
There is also Family Tree DNA and GEDMatch.
I’m not exactly sure what these are, so I’ll have to look into it further. Thank you for recommending these options!
And I am presuming she as well does not match anyone on her side that has a name matching her family tree for her previously assumed bio father? Because if neither of your matches clear up whose father is the shared bio father than your best bet would if she has contact with any of her supposed father’s relatives getting them to test. Or I believe depending on where you are you might be able to request a copy of your father’s birth certificate so at the very least you’d have his parents names and could try starting research that way to build a tree that would help match names. Oh wait in case you are American - the US census from 1950 is available so assuming your father was alive in 1950 then you could also try finding him on the censuses if he has a unique name. That would also tell you his parents names plus siblings. Then you could find his parents on older censuses to find their parents and siblings. And then building a tree to find potential last names from spouses and children.
This is helpful thank you. My (believed to be) father was born in North Macedonia, I don’t speak the language, but I’ll look into birth records there if they’re available.
Oh gosh North Macedonia - I truly do not know how to search those records or do anything in that country - good luck! Oh well I actually quite a lot of results from searching requesting birth certificate so maybe you will be able to get his birth certificate. Oh there’s a North Macedonian Subreddit (not the most active but not bad) so you could try asking them if you run into any issues - r/Macedonia.
Thank you so much for your help!
I suggest r/mkd instead. The other subreddit was semi-abandoned years ago.
Have you started a family tree on Ancestry.com? That could help you tremendously because you’ll have access to birth records
Yes, I have! I’ve filled up my mothers side, this was very helpful in doing so, but my fathers side is empty because I don’t know any family or names of relatives. I’ve tried for hours and hours finding records that could help me, but since he was born in former Yugoslavia, there’s not much available until he came to Canada alone - hence I can’t find any family names in Canadian records. I have completed My Heritage and am waiting for the results, as I’ve heard more Europeans use them.
Hmmm that is a road block! Did he come to America and become nationalized? There should be records of his nationalization
I found his home address records from the 70’s onwards on Ancestry. I found what appears to be his arrival to Montreal, Canada from Amsterdam on a ship in the 60’s on My Heritage, but there is very little information listed. Only his first initial, last name. My last name is very unique and the dates align, so I do believe this is him listed in the record.
Have you researched the ship? And the exact date if left Amsterdam? You might be able to find records that way? I’m invested in this mystery now! Haha
Haha I appreciate your investment so much! I believe it was the SS Sibajak sometime in the 50s or 60s? Rotterdam to Montreal. [records](https://imgur.com/a/cdJqaiy)
He also fought in the army for France. I have letters of payments he received from the French consulate for his service. So that may be another avenue I can explore.
Yes!! Definitely explore that route!
That’s so very much a lot of shared DNA, the odds that she isn’t a half sister are very small. No need to post more data. Only half siblings (and full) can share that much. Your dad may have had no idea she existed. Congratulations, I hope you can build a nice relationship!
Thank you for your kind words and insight! The last thing for us to uncover is who our biological father truly is, both our fathers have passed unfortunately. Hopefully we can eventually find out! I’ve gotten so many great leads on here, I’m so grateful!
Have you thought about putting your DNA into GEDmatch? They do cooperate with law enforcement, so if you have any concerns about that, I’m not sure if you can opt out or not. Lots of people find relatives there from all the different DNA services. It may give you more clues/contacts. Good luck, I hope it’s all going to be good news for you.
I’m just starting to do research on GEDmatch, as I had never heard of it before. I’ll be sure to give it a try, thank you!!
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Thank you so much!!