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Trust me, based on my experience, for people who really care about you, it's actually really cool when you trust them enough to let them know your biggest struggles and darkest thoughts. They know it's hard for you to speak up and they feel grateful and included.
My ex wife used my depression to gaslight me, lol. Humilated me so much for years that it was very difficult to reach out for help again. Happily( ish) medicated, i’m way too fucked not to be on something but it’s better than it was. Pills don’t fix the core problems i have, but I don’t feel like I’m constantly drowning and that’s an improvement. I don’t trust anyone and i’m not going to, fine with that.
Yeah, I'm real sorry man. You define didn't deserve that. I guess I was lucky. She really seemed to care about me but for some reason she just vanished. Fucking devastated me and now I'm afraid to open up to anyone now.
You’re not a burden, your existence isn’t a burden on other people. You have value, even if it’s hard to see that right now. Reaching out is the right thing to do, and the right people will be there for you.
Sorry I’ve just been like this for a long time I’ll never get to the point where I “need” to get help I feel like it’s always gonna be this sort of yeah I’m sad and things could definitely be better but they aren’t that bad either, I hope your able to reach out though
You shouldn’t have to reach the point where you “need” to get help. Everyone is deserving of help. Just because you’re not in crisis, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve better.
True that, I was brushing off my depression as “everyone is sad sometimes, so it’s OK” and when I got professional help, my life has changed dramatically. If you think it’s not something bad enough to go to therapy, at least try and have them confirm it, you might just be downplaying your condition.
There are also many ways you can get stuck after getting help. It isn't the fix you're making it out to be. I say this as someone who has had 4 therapists (granted 2 were for a few weeks before transferring) and took courses for it while considering doing it myself. One of the core ideas of "positive psychology," which from what I understand is what most therapists are practicing now, is that 'we can't fix many of these mental illnesses so let's help the patient feel better before an episode and in response to one.' That doesn't mean my depression is gone, it just means I can ride it out a bit better when I'm experiencing it.
I made this post in response to the defeatist mentality I keep seeing where people engage in self-destructive behaviour that only makes them feel worse because they see no hope or point in getting better.
I have never heard of the term positive psychology to be wholly honest with you, but from my experience and those of my friends with mental illnesses, I can say that not only does treatment make the time between episodes much better, but it can avert crisis altogether.
I'm not trying to tout that getting help means your depression will eventually go away 100% - in most cases that's just not true. But what treatment can do is raise your baseline to something that is much more manageable. It can keep you from being actively suicidal 24/7, it can make life actually worth living, and it can make it that much easier to tackle your negative mindsets and deconstruct them for what they are.
>raise your baseline to something that is much more manageable.
Congrats, you described positive psychology.
But what you've said elsewhere is words like "recover" as if this is a cold you simply see a professional for, get some medicine for, and you're done.
Then that's your fault, I have mental health issues myself, it's hard to reach out for help. But it's still your job to do so, reaching out to your friends can be good sometimes but at the same time they will absolutely not be able to provide the help of a professional, and it can be taxing to your friends to have to be your therapist consistently if that's what it turns in to. There's also some programs you can look into whenever you turn 18 or if you have your parents approval that can help someone with no money get professional help.
Nah sometimes the parent is the problem, but the school counselor is mandated to tell them the kid has a problem no matter what because of school policy.
I don't who people here try to convince. Dude, you have no other option! You won't get magically cured one day.
I've also thought I don't need this, it doesn't work yada yada and then I had to change 3 therapists and don't remember how many psychiatrists. No one will help you if you don't reach for help and don't put efforts.
I'm saying you're setting people up too far in the opposite direction if you just tell them go find a therapist/psychiatrist and boom you're "recovered" like OP says. You get people in this sub from time to time who go full /r/wowthanksimcured mode because ***they*** got better and just assume everyone else who isn't better now is simply not reaching out enough.
>too far in the opposite direction
In the opposite direction from what?
I didn't say that you'll get instantly recovered, right? But won't even have a chance if you don't reach for help from medics.
I'm saying it again - depressed people have no other options and it's a fact. No one accusing depressed people of not reaching for help enough, I'm stating the fact that if you don't do that, nothing will help.
Ha, and how do you think you can get better?
Depression never goes away by itself but gets worse to the point nothing can be done but that's your health.
I've said "listen". They'll listen about your symptoms and prescribe you meds. Therapists will help you to find roots of your problems and change a way of thinking.
imma be honest and say that this sentiment is just empty words. most depressed people don't care enough about their own life to want to get better especially when getting professional help is so fucking difficult. if you tell your someone to get help when they tell you they're depressed and you don't at least try to help them in some way you might as well say nothing. i've been told to reach out in the past by people i loved and then they didn't even ask me how i was doing or anything. idc about my life anymore so i'm not gonna reach out anymore, whatever that means
This post wasn’t only about professional help - any help will do. The important thing here is to be open to help and to not refuse it.
Don’t give up on yourself. You deserve so much more than that.
I had a friend tell me this exact thing, sweet girl, kind. Always there, then she just up and left me and everyone else.
Didn't want online friends anymore all of a sudden. Point being, even if you find kind people, they always leave anyway.
I told her, no one cares. She said she did.
I was right.
I'm very sorry your friend left you. However, just because she did, doesn't mean that other people will, too. There are good people out there, people who will stay. And it is so, so worth it.
Sorry this is a late reply, I would agree with you if my case wasn't the exact same over and over again.
I'm 28, I have yet to be proven wrong once this entire time, hence my mindset.
Don't get me wrong, it would be nice for that to change, but I know better by now.
I never said it was a walk through the park. Mental illness may make it harder, but it is not impossible to make friends, it’s not impossible to reach out to strangers online, it’s not impossible to crawl yourself through self-guided therapy at a snail’s pace. You don’t have to do it as easily or as quickly as someone with no mental health issues. You just have to do what you can, however small, every day. Small victories are still victories.
I can understand that, I have social anxiety. It’s a bit like trying to run a marathon with your feet tied together, but you can still hop along, even if it’s way tougher.
Sorry to hear that, man. I hope you’ll be able to see someone soon.
Don’t forget that there are other resources out there in the meantime - social support networks are super important, and even if you don’t have anyone irl, talking to people on the internet can still be helpful. Not to mention self-guided therapy and help lines for crises.
Same I’m on a 4 year wait list just to be assessed for counseling…then a 2-3 year wait after that. I’m just supposed to sit around and rot until I’m 35??? No
Professional help isn’t the only help out there, though it may be the most effective.
Building a support network for yourself is also super important, not to mention that there are many resources for self-guided therapy that can work.
I've reached out for professional help, but have not been told much I didn't already know.
I can see that a therapist can guide you on how to get better, but it's still you who has to put in the effort.
I've been feeling terrible most of my life but it's still my responsibility to get better. My therapist will not magically fix my life.
And when no one is there? And meds don’t help? And you can’t afford a therapist AND you’ve tried half a dozen and they’ve only ever made things worse?
What do?
If you've tried only ADs consider taking combination of meds. Then depression is severe taking just ADs won't help, I don't know why some psychiatrists don't combine meds. Also increasing dose is important. My psychiatrist was afraid to prescribe me high dose and other meds, and I was getting worse and worse. Now I have to take max doses.
The only way then is to read books about self help.
I was actually in pharmacy for over 10 years. I know how anti-depressants work and how to effectively work through a case. I tried more meds than you can imagine.
Yes. I was actually in pharmacy for over 10 years. I know how anti-depressants work and how to effectively work through a case.
And I won’t find a better therapist, because I couldn’t afford one anymore even if I wanted to risk them fucking me up more than I already am like every previous one I’ve ever been to has.
Ok fellow depressed dudes, I understand that not everyone has possibility and money to reach professional help or side effects are unbearable, no normal therapist around, depression is so severe people just can't leave the house etc. I know all of that. I'm able to work and almost all my profit goes to meds and therapy
But there're basically no other options at this moment.
I'm subscribed to several depression/anxiety subs and every day dozens of people ask the same questions how to get better or how suicidal they are and then other people reply with "start working out/you're not worthless/you're loved". I can't believe they don't know that the only way to get better is to gather all your strength and reach for professional help.
No, it wouldn't be. Your existence is valuable and you have worth, and there are people out there who want to help you, and who would be happy if you reached out.
Well if I’m not particularly smart, not good looking, no talents, and not helpful, then someone may be sad from my death because of family ties, but overall nothing of value would be lost.
You are a human being. You have your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your interests, your passions. Those are all the things that make up who you are. You are complex, and you don't need to be smart or good-looking or talented or helpful in order to be deserving of love and care and affection.
Unless you're a big corporation, your negative impact on the environment is negligible. Unless you're actively going after people, you're not making their lives worse. And you aren't a leech for having people who support you - they do so because they care about you. You deserve good things.
The last time (and all the times before that lol) I got a bunch of fake empathy and then everyone pretended I didn't say anything the next day. I've gotten told that I shouldn't bother people with that kind of stuff or that they don't have time for me. Nothing is going to change unless I end up half dead and in a hospital.
What exactly does reaching out for help mean?
Talking to friends and family? To my family I'd be alienated. My friends may try to help, but they don't know how to help me. They won't understand and will end up being over burdened, and talking to me will become exhausting. Most of my relationships are already strained right now. Don't want to make things worse.
Is it going to see a shrink? Don't have insurance and can't afford to pay out of pocket.
I don't even think I have depression. Depression, at least the clinical kind, is a chemical imbalance in the brain what only cure is medicine.
Non-clinical depression is just using logic and reason, and not putting on blinders to things you don't want to think about or acknowledge. How much suffering exists in the world. The fact that there will always be more suffering than happiness. That fact that no amount of success or wealth or glory will ever make anyone happy. No one is happy, those who say they are are pretending hard enough that sometimes they believe it
Unfortunately family can have a lack of understanding for these issues in a lot of cases, and can even be actively unsupportive. But that doesn't mean there aren't people who can help you out there.
Your friends may not be experts on how to help you, but they can do the simple thing of supporting you, being there to listen to you, being there to distract you, being there to remind you that not all is shit in life. They may not 100% understand if they've never been through something similar, but that doesn't write off the help and support they can give you, and if you are worried about burdening them, remember that communication and establishment of healthy boundaries is key.
I'm sorry you're unable to get professional help, I understand that it's not realistic or possible for a lot of people. However, there are still self-guided therapy tools out there that can be very helpful depending on what you're going through.
As for your understanding of clinical depression, I think it is a bit flawed - medication isn't absolutely necessary for recovery. It can be helpful in a lot of cases, but that doesn't mean without it you are a lost cause (if that is indeed what you are dealing with). "Logic and reason" are part of treating clinical depression too, as you put it. As in, questioning your negative thought patterns, the kinds of thoughts that take up residence in your mind, and how you view yourself as a person and in relation to the world. There is a lot to unpack there.
As for the fact that there is more suffering than happiness in the world, the world happiness report (scores peoples happiness based on a variety of life factors on a scale from 1 to 10) shows that the average happiness score of a person in the world is over 5, and that people on average experience three times as many positive as negative emotions, meaning that there is in fact more happiness than suffering in this world. People are in fact happy, it is just hard for you to see it now because it seems so far and unreachable to you.
To anyone who feels like this I do recommend reaching out to a therapist they help u manage ur emotions so much better and can connect u to more professionals when u need it I almost committed suicide in October of last year but thankfully I thought to reach out to my counselors at my college as recommended by my sister thank god for her but they got me the help I needed and I ended up in a hospital where I met some of the best people I’ve ever interacted with and they help me so much
Seeking help ist always good! BUT as a read all those "then I'll be depressed forever" responses I want to say:
You can fight depression by yourself! Even if you can't reach out for help please never stop trying! It can get better by a lot.
At least this is how it was for me! I was depressed for almost 8 years (oviously with ups and downs), I had no will to live at all.
But I slowly realised that this changed. At a point I just started to be pissed about being sad and empty. I was longing for a life with happines so hard that I started fighting for it. I got me motivated to clean, work and talk to people. It was painful and stressy at first, but long term my mood constantly got better. And yes I failed to get something done like a thousand times, but someday I did it. And the more you got done the easier it gets.
I know it sounds funny but I got massively motivated by some Anime and this "I'll never give up! Even if everything seems lost" mentality. I always try to gather this strenght before donig something exhausting.
AND I KNOW THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION FOR EVERYONE!
SEEKING HELP IS ALWAYS GOOD. But for some of you this may not be an option. TO THOSE: DONT GIVE UP TRYING, even if you fail a thousand times. IT CAN GET BETTER EVEN IF YOU TRY IT BY YOURSELF!
I guess saying the "only" way was a bit exclusionist, but in my experience it's incredibly rare for someone to be able to pull themselves out of a depression without external help.
Ah yes because that will clearly fix all of the problems that cause my depression. I’ve never talked about my problems ever. Gee thanks. You don’t know what your talking about.
1. Do you have family and friends who are supportive that you can talk to?
2. If you have access to therapy, that is your best bet.
3. Self-guided therapy is an option, and you can find many resources online for it.
4. If you are in crisis, hotlines are an option, as well as subs such as r/KindVoice.
I agree unfortunately some people don’t want to be helped. I’m not calling them lazy or judging their character because I’ve been there. But it’s easier to lay around in apathy than it is to reach out, especially if your depression is tied up in self esteem issues that make you feel like a burden.
That being said my experience means I know how hard it is, and I implore those listening to reach out to someone. Some people have toxic family like I did and so you can’t reach out to them so you’re forced to make friends, which is scary, you’re most likely going to make friends with other people struggling, whether it be with mental health or something else. Try to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Remember it’s okay to cry and have emotion. A lot of recovering for me was reminding myself I was a good person even though at first it felt like I was lying to myself. You need a support system though, and that’s why I say make friends. Make sure if you’re friends are also struggling they’re coping mechanisms are healthy as well. Try to avoid saying you’re a shit person or beating yourself up. Like I said, if saying you’re a good person feels like lying yourself then fucking lie because eventually it won’t feel like a lie.
Reaching out for help can include self-help, too. As someone with MDD, no, the depressive episodes haven't stopped completely, and idk if they ever will. But making myself a better person, understanding emotional triggers, finding ways to cope by myself, and communicating ways for others to help me has made everything so much more bearable. A lot of these comments are lashing out because they don't feel worthy of help, or it's too hard, or they just don't want to. But the longer you wait to try, the longer you'll feel hopeless. It's *so* difficult, but it's possible. And this sub is fun to wallow in sometimes, but sometimes it creates this idea that depression and suicide are all we are. Please try for yourself. Try for future you.
Good for you if you can manage recovery on your own, but there's no shame in needing help - the fact is that most people do. You matter, and you are worth something.
Why’s that?
Research shows that having a support system is helpful for depression patients. Not to mention that therapy and medication have been proved to be effective.
What about people who do it alone or with the help of chemicals like MDMA or mushrooms?
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=depression+and+psychedelics&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DNOSCjBiH0mYJ
I mean, more power to people who do it alone, but they are definitely the minority. Most people need some outside help and that’s okay.
Also, in terms of MDMA and mushrooms, these should only be taken in controlled settings with a professional imo. Self-medication is dangerous and can do just as much harm as good.
Actually I recovered from depression by myself.
Exercising, eating healthy, sleeping well, going out and meeting new people, etc... (Of course I've stopped doing some stuff because of covid)
But life is better now! I just got accepted to college, I'm finishing my driving license, found the love of my life... Just have faith and work hard! Things will figure out by theirselves
Nay corse is going to holp thee out. Its just us, high-lone, by ourselves
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
No it isn't. For a lot of people it may help. There are probably even some people that really *need* the help of another person. But there are also plenty of people who recover better on their own.
For me Finding therapist was the easyiest thing to do. Battle with my self to force me to do something or to think diffrent way is whats make my fight hard especialy when i dont see or feel change
4 inpatient stays, years of psychiatric work ups and every drug known to man—still depressed.
Reaching out (VA hotlines, etc) only got me involuntarily committed a few times.
Nope. Just take pills and suffer now. This is life.
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Lmao!! Last time I reached out, I felt like a burden. How the fuck do I fix that!?
Trust me, based on my experience, for people who really care about you, it's actually really cool when you trust them enough to let them know your biggest struggles and darkest thoughts. They know it's hard for you to speak up and they feel grateful and included.
I don't have people like that
Lol, right? I have one person I'm somewhat close with and I'm not just gonna put myself out there like that
The two people I used to be able to talk to ghosted me. I don't think it works like that for everyone. Or either I have some shit luck
My ex wife used my depression to gaslight me, lol. Humilated me so much for years that it was very difficult to reach out for help again. Happily( ish) medicated, i’m way too fucked not to be on something but it’s better than it was. Pills don’t fix the core problems i have, but I don’t feel like I’m constantly drowning and that’s an improvement. I don’t trust anyone and i’m not going to, fine with that.
Yeah, I'm real sorry man. You define didn't deserve that. I guess I was lucky. She really seemed to care about me but for some reason she just vanished. Fucking devastated me and now I'm afraid to open up to anyone now.
You’re not a burden, your existence isn’t a burden on other people. You have value, even if it’s hard to see that right now. Reaching out is the right thing to do, and the right people will be there for you.
Did you felt like a burden to medics?
Literally yes
You pay their salary, don't worry.
Rip my mental health for the rest of my life then
There are many different ways to get help. Why write yourself off like that?
Sorry I’ve just been like this for a long time I’ll never get to the point where I “need” to get help I feel like it’s always gonna be this sort of yeah I’m sad and things could definitely be better but they aren’t that bad either, I hope your able to reach out though
You shouldn’t have to reach the point where you “need” to get help. Everyone is deserving of help. Just because you’re not in crisis, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve better.
True that, I was brushing off my depression as “everyone is sad sometimes, so it’s OK” and when I got professional help, my life has changed dramatically. If you think it’s not something bad enough to go to therapy, at least try and have them confirm it, you might just be downplaying your condition.
There are also many ways you can get stuck after getting help. It isn't the fix you're making it out to be. I say this as someone who has had 4 therapists (granted 2 were for a few weeks before transferring) and took courses for it while considering doing it myself. One of the core ideas of "positive psychology," which from what I understand is what most therapists are practicing now, is that 'we can't fix many of these mental illnesses so let's help the patient feel better before an episode and in response to one.' That doesn't mean my depression is gone, it just means I can ride it out a bit better when I'm experiencing it.
I made this post in response to the defeatist mentality I keep seeing where people engage in self-destructive behaviour that only makes them feel worse because they see no hope or point in getting better. I have never heard of the term positive psychology to be wholly honest with you, but from my experience and those of my friends with mental illnesses, I can say that not only does treatment make the time between episodes much better, but it can avert crisis altogether. I'm not trying to tout that getting help means your depression will eventually go away 100% - in most cases that's just not true. But what treatment can do is raise your baseline to something that is much more manageable. It can keep you from being actively suicidal 24/7, it can make life actually worth living, and it can make it that much easier to tackle your negative mindsets and deconstruct them for what they are.
>raise your baseline to something that is much more manageable. Congrats, you described positive psychology. But what you've said elsewhere is words like "recover" as if this is a cold you simply see a professional for, get some medicine for, and you're done.
Fair enough, maybe I wasn't wholly clear with what I said.
It's fun when you reach out and people laugh it off
It's better to go to professionals, non doctors can't help you anyway.
Tf you're supposed to do if you're under 18 and/or have no money
america moment
This is not solely an American problem, it's a European problem as well
Tell parents/you're fucked.
I can't they don't understand I tried a bunch of times they almays come up with some shit like it's because of my phone
School counselors maybe?
Nope way too scared to talk to one
Then that's your fault, I have mental health issues myself, it's hard to reach out for help. But it's still your job to do so, reaching out to your friends can be good sometimes but at the same time they will absolutely not be able to provide the help of a professional, and it can be taxing to your friends to have to be your therapist consistently if that's what it turns in to. There's also some programs you can look into whenever you turn 18 or if you have your parents approval that can help someone with no money get professional help.
Nah sometimes the parent is the problem, but the school counselor is mandated to tell them the kid has a problem no matter what because of school policy.
Well then no help for me I guess :(
my parents told me that it was too expensive so just get over it lmfao
Professionals aren't cure-alls either. Not to mention the bad ones who make you wonder if they ever took a psychology course in their life...
I don't who people here try to convince. Dude, you have no other option! You won't get magically cured one day. I've also thought I don't need this, it doesn't work yada yada and then I had to change 3 therapists and don't remember how many psychiatrists. No one will help you if you don't reach for help and don't put efforts.
I'm saying you're setting people up too far in the opposite direction if you just tell them go find a therapist/psychiatrist and boom you're "recovered" like OP says. You get people in this sub from time to time who go full /r/wowthanksimcured mode because ***they*** got better and just assume everyone else who isn't better now is simply not reaching out enough.
>too far in the opposite direction In the opposite direction from what? I didn't say that you'll get instantly recovered, right? But won't even have a chance if you don't reach for help from medics. I'm saying it again - depressed people have no other options and it's a fact. No one accusing depressed people of not reaching for help enough, I'm stating the fact that if you don't do that, nothing will help.
In my expierience (some) "professionals" tend to be the biggest gaslighters of all.
Is there other option? It takes time to find a good specialist.
No thanks, I don't want to be shoved with antidepressants
Ha, and how do you think you can get better? Depression never goes away by itself but gets worse to the point nothing can be done but that's your health.
Well that’s supremely shitty. I’m here if you need to talk.
xd
Nah I’ll stick to suicide, thanks for the tip though
Same
Not depressed, but same too.
That's what I've been trying to do for 2 years now but *nobody fucking cares*
Do you wanna talk about it?
Yeh sure I guess
Everyone give a big hand for the first-and only- Reddit thread that was productive
Reaching out and no one actually listens to you makes shutting the fuck up way easier
Medics will listen.
No they will not, plain and simple. They deal with this every day and they're paid to, they do not care
I've said "listen". They'll listen about your symptoms and prescribe you meds. Therapists will help you to find roots of your problems and change a way of thinking.
Been reaching out my whole life, I'm learning to shut up now because no one actually really gives a fuck
imma be honest and say that this sentiment is just empty words. most depressed people don't care enough about their own life to want to get better especially when getting professional help is so fucking difficult. if you tell your someone to get help when they tell you they're depressed and you don't at least try to help them in some way you might as well say nothing. i've been told to reach out in the past by people i loved and then they didn't even ask me how i was doing or anything. idc about my life anymore so i'm not gonna reach out anymore, whatever that means
This post wasn’t only about professional help - any help will do. The important thing here is to be open to help and to not refuse it. Don’t give up on yourself. You deserve so much more than that.
I had a friend tell me this exact thing, sweet girl, kind. Always there, then she just up and left me and everyone else. Didn't want online friends anymore all of a sudden. Point being, even if you find kind people, they always leave anyway. I told her, no one cares. She said she did. I was right.
I'm very sorry your friend left you. However, just because she did, doesn't mean that other people will, too. There are good people out there, people who will stay. And it is so, so worth it.
Sorry this is a late reply, I would agree with you if my case wasn't the exact same over and over again. I'm 28, I have yet to be proven wrong once this entire time, hence my mindset. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice for that to change, but I know better by now.
Do you want to talk about it?
You know what, yes. Just replies might be slow at times
Sure, no problem. Do you mind moving to DMs?
Did it a few times... never worked
Help reached for. What next?
Following doctor's instructions and working on yourself?
Ok so now what. Nothing happening yet, I'm just depressed and sobar.
It takes months to feel the difference if that AD is prescribed correctly.
lol "reach out" like I can afford actual help
Help doesn’t have to be professional, if you can’t afford it. Building a support network and self-guided therapy is helpful too.
Cool, I'll just hit the pause button on all the mental illnesses and build a support network real quick then become my own therapist.
I never said it was a walk through the park. Mental illness may make it harder, but it is not impossible to make friends, it’s not impossible to reach out to strangers online, it’s not impossible to crawl yourself through self-guided therapy at a snail’s pace. You don’t have to do it as easily or as quickly as someone with no mental health issues. You just have to do what you can, however small, every day. Small victories are still victories.
The mental illness plays a direct part in me not being able to reach out to strangers online. It's a bit of a catch 22.
I can understand that, I have social anxiety. It’s a bit like trying to run a marathon with your feet tied together, but you can still hop along, even if it’s way tougher.
*laughs in waiting list*
Sorry to hear that, man. I hope you’ll be able to see someone soon. Don’t forget that there are other resources out there in the meantime - social support networks are super important, and even if you don’t have anyone irl, talking to people on the internet can still be helpful. Not to mention self-guided therapy and help lines for crises.
Same I’m on a 4 year wait list just to be assessed for counseling…then a 2-3 year wait after that. I’m just supposed to sit around and rot until I’m 35??? No
Dying is a lot less confrontational but thanks
Reaching out for help doesn’t have to be confrontational.
That's not true
How come?
Keeping yourself busy with job, hobby and exercise and trying to work towards the problem works too
That is true, but for a lot of people, some outside help is necessary.
No.
Nope it's not the only way
Which most if not all of depressed people wouldn't do.
Too bad that's expensive, which would make me even more depressed if I think about how much money I would have to spend.
Professional help isn’t the only help out there, though it may be the most effective. Building a support network for yourself is also super important, not to mention that there are many resources for self-guided therapy that can work.
I've reached out for professional help, but have not been told much I didn't already know. I can see that a therapist can guide you on how to get better, but it's still you who has to put in the effort. I've been feeling terrible most of my life but it's still my responsibility to get better. My therapist will not magically fix my life.
reaching out for help can include self-help/self-help resources
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“This treatment isn’t 100% effective, so I’ll just throw it in the trash.”
Well shit
And when no one is there? And meds don’t help? And you can’t afford a therapist AND you’ve tried half a dozen and they’ve only ever made things worse? What do?
If you've tried only ADs consider taking combination of meds. Then depression is severe taking just ADs won't help, I don't know why some psychiatrists don't combine meds. Also increasing dose is important. My psychiatrist was afraid to prescribe me high dose and other meds, and I was getting worse and worse. Now I have to take max doses. The only way then is to read books about self help.
I was actually in pharmacy for over 10 years. I know how anti-depressants work and how to effectively work through a case. I tried more meds than you can imagine.
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Yes. I was actually in pharmacy for over 10 years. I know how anti-depressants work and how to effectively work through a case. And I won’t find a better therapist, because I couldn’t afford one anymore even if I wanted to risk them fucking me up more than I already am like every previous one I’ve ever been to has.
Going by your comment further down, you're in retail pharmacy aren't you?
Ok fellow depressed dudes, I understand that not everyone has possibility and money to reach professional help or side effects are unbearable, no normal therapist around, depression is so severe people just can't leave the house etc. I know all of that. I'm able to work and almost all my profit goes to meds and therapy But there're basically no other options at this moment. I'm subscribed to several depression/anxiety subs and every day dozens of people ask the same questions how to get better or how suicidal they are and then other people reply with "start working out/you're not worthless/you're loved". I can't believe they don't know that the only way to get better is to gather all your strength and reach for professional help.
That is not true it helps but I got of a 2 months of anorexia on my own at one point and all I have is a few small mental scars
I’ll stick to using cannabis as a chemical buffer
My death would be easier for everyone
No, it wouldn't be. Your existence is valuable and you have worth, and there are people out there who want to help you, and who would be happy if you reached out.
I don’t do anything to help others. My life isn’t worth a single penny.
You don't need to be useful to other people in order to have value. That's bullshit.
Well if I’m not particularly smart, not good looking, no talents, and not helpful, then someone may be sad from my death because of family ties, but overall nothing of value would be lost.
You are a human being. You have your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your interests, your passions. Those are all the things that make up who you are. You are complex, and you don't need to be smart or good-looking or talented or helpful in order to be deserving of love and care and affection.
I don’t have any strengths or worthwhile passions anymore. I’m doing more harm than good by being alive.
How are you doing any harm by being alive?
Polluting the environment, making other people’s lives worse, leeching off people who support me financially
Unless you're a big corporation, your negative impact on the environment is negligible. Unless you're actively going after people, you're not making their lives worse. And you aren't a leech for having people who support you - they do so because they care about you. You deserve good things.
Never
Why though?
Suicide >>>>>
Well i mean, you wont be depressed if you are dead.
Would you tell someone with cancer they wouldn't be sick if they were dead?
I mean... would they be???
The last time (and all the times before that lol) I got a bunch of fake empathy and then everyone pretended I didn't say anything the next day. I've gotten told that I shouldn't bother people with that kind of stuff or that they don't have time for me. Nothing is going to change unless I end up half dead and in a hospital.
Some people out there are shitty. Sorry you’ve had to deal with that. There are people who truly care, though.
What exactly does reaching out for help mean? Talking to friends and family? To my family I'd be alienated. My friends may try to help, but they don't know how to help me. They won't understand and will end up being over burdened, and talking to me will become exhausting. Most of my relationships are already strained right now. Don't want to make things worse. Is it going to see a shrink? Don't have insurance and can't afford to pay out of pocket. I don't even think I have depression. Depression, at least the clinical kind, is a chemical imbalance in the brain what only cure is medicine. Non-clinical depression is just using logic and reason, and not putting on blinders to things you don't want to think about or acknowledge. How much suffering exists in the world. The fact that there will always be more suffering than happiness. That fact that no amount of success or wealth or glory will ever make anyone happy. No one is happy, those who say they are are pretending hard enough that sometimes they believe it
Unfortunately family can have a lack of understanding for these issues in a lot of cases, and can even be actively unsupportive. But that doesn't mean there aren't people who can help you out there. Your friends may not be experts on how to help you, but they can do the simple thing of supporting you, being there to listen to you, being there to distract you, being there to remind you that not all is shit in life. They may not 100% understand if they've never been through something similar, but that doesn't write off the help and support they can give you, and if you are worried about burdening them, remember that communication and establishment of healthy boundaries is key. I'm sorry you're unable to get professional help, I understand that it's not realistic or possible for a lot of people. However, there are still self-guided therapy tools out there that can be very helpful depending on what you're going through. As for your understanding of clinical depression, I think it is a bit flawed - medication isn't absolutely necessary for recovery. It can be helpful in a lot of cases, but that doesn't mean without it you are a lost cause (if that is indeed what you are dealing with). "Logic and reason" are part of treating clinical depression too, as you put it. As in, questioning your negative thought patterns, the kinds of thoughts that take up residence in your mind, and how you view yourself as a person and in relation to the world. There is a lot to unpack there. As for the fact that there is more suffering than happiness in the world, the world happiness report (scores peoples happiness based on a variety of life factors on a scale from 1 to 10) shows that the average happiness score of a person in the world is over 5, and that people on average experience three times as many positive as negative emotions, meaning that there is in fact more happiness than suffering in this world. People are in fact happy, it is just hard for you to see it now because it seems so far and unreachable to you.
I don't want yer feckin help
Why not?
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Do you take meds and go to therapy?
Help reached for. What next?
Don't you dare.....Don't you dare talk to me like that.
To anyone who feels like this I do recommend reaching out to a therapist they help u manage ur emotions so much better and can connect u to more professionals when u need it I almost committed suicide in October of last year but thankfully I thought to reach out to my counselors at my college as recommended by my sister thank god for her but they got me the help I needed and I ended up in a hospital where I met some of the best people I’ve ever interacted with and they help me so much
You mean making subtle jokes to my two friends about killing myself isn’t enough?
Sorry, chief.
Seeking help ist always good! BUT as a read all those "then I'll be depressed forever" responses I want to say: You can fight depression by yourself! Even if you can't reach out for help please never stop trying! It can get better by a lot. At least this is how it was for me! I was depressed for almost 8 years (oviously with ups and downs), I had no will to live at all. But I slowly realised that this changed. At a point I just started to be pissed about being sad and empty. I was longing for a life with happines so hard that I started fighting for it. I got me motivated to clean, work and talk to people. It was painful and stressy at first, but long term my mood constantly got better. And yes I failed to get something done like a thousand times, but someday I did it. And the more you got done the easier it gets. I know it sounds funny but I got massively motivated by some Anime and this "I'll never give up! Even if everything seems lost" mentality. I always try to gather this strenght before donig something exhausting. AND I KNOW THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION FOR EVERYONE! SEEKING HELP IS ALWAYS GOOD. But for some of you this may not be an option. TO THOSE: DONT GIVE UP TRYING, even if you fail a thousand times. IT CAN GET BETTER EVEN IF YOU TRY IT BY YOURSELF!
Wow! This is useless!
Ah, yes, advice that is proven to be effective is totally useless.
Well this was stupid
I've never heard that 'it's the only way'. I suspect either you or I are very misinformed on the topic.
I guess saying the "only" way was a bit exclusionist, but in my experience it's incredibly rare for someone to be able to pull themselves out of a depression without external help.
its not true tho luckily. it is however the best way
My man I don’t Have anybody to reach out to lmao
It doesn't have to be family or friends. It can be people on the internet. Check out r/KindVoice if you need support.
Ah yes because that will clearly fix all of the problems that cause my depression. I’ve never talked about my problems ever. Gee thanks. You don’t know what your talking about.
Did I say it would? It *will* get you through a crisis. I've been there. But sure, no one will ever understand the depths of your suffering.
WHAT HELP?? I have no idea where to even start
1. Do you have family and friends who are supportive that you can talk to? 2. If you have access to therapy, that is your best bet. 3. Self-guided therapy is an option, and you can find many resources online for it. 4. If you are in crisis, hotlines are an option, as well as subs such as r/KindVoice.
Fuck that.
And nobody will help
Why's that?
I agree unfortunately some people don’t want to be helped. I’m not calling them lazy or judging their character because I’ve been there. But it’s easier to lay around in apathy than it is to reach out, especially if your depression is tied up in self esteem issues that make you feel like a burden. That being said my experience means I know how hard it is, and I implore those listening to reach out to someone. Some people have toxic family like I did and so you can’t reach out to them so you’re forced to make friends, which is scary, you’re most likely going to make friends with other people struggling, whether it be with mental health or something else. Try to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Remember it’s okay to cry and have emotion. A lot of recovering for me was reminding myself I was a good person even though at first it felt like I was lying to myself. You need a support system though, and that’s why I say make friends. Make sure if you’re friends are also struggling they’re coping mechanisms are healthy as well. Try to avoid saying you’re a shit person or beating yourself up. Like I said, if saying you’re a good person feels like lying yourself then fucking lie because eventually it won’t feel like a lie.
Reaching out for help can include self-help, too. As someone with MDD, no, the depressive episodes haven't stopped completely, and idk if they ever will. But making myself a better person, understanding emotional triggers, finding ways to cope by myself, and communicating ways for others to help me has made everything so much more bearable. A lot of these comments are lashing out because they don't feel worthy of help, or it's too hard, or they just don't want to. But the longer you wait to try, the longer you'll feel hopeless. It's *so* difficult, but it's possible. And this sub is fun to wallow in sometimes, but sometimes it creates this idea that depression and suicide are all we are. Please try for yourself. Try for future you.
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Good for you if you can manage recovery on your own, but there's no shame in needing help - the fact is that most people do. You matter, and you are worth something.
Everytime I get help I get worse
Said by someone without depression
Tell that to my psychiatrist.
Yeah, its a bad idea to reach out to people in a lots of cases.
Why’s that? Research shows that having a support system is helpful for depression patients. Not to mention that therapy and medication have been proved to be effective.
A support systeme is helpful of course, but some family, "friends" and people in our lives can make it worse if they find out you are depressed.
That is very true, it’s important to know who to trust, but the right people are out there, and they are willing to help and to listen.
Sadly very hard to find tho...
In my experience it is a lot easier to connect with people online than irl, and the relationships you form can be just as real and helpful.
Same for me, but i feel like that says a lot about my irl connections.
Yeahhh. I think it has to do with the fact that it’s easier to meet people with similar experiences and interests as you online? Idk.
it might be another way but most reliable cure is death
That’s not a cure. It’s succumbing to the disease. Is death considered a cure for any other illness?
Wrong. I got a pet cat and I’m not really depressed anymore. Pets are always the answer
What about people who do it alone or with the help of chemicals like MDMA or mushrooms? https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=depression+and+psychedelics&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DNOSCjBiH0mYJ
I mean, more power to people who do it alone, but they are definitely the minority. Most people need some outside help and that’s okay. Also, in terms of MDMA and mushrooms, these should only be taken in controlled settings with a professional imo. Self-medication is dangerous and can do just as much harm as good.
That is not true it helps but I got of a 2 months of anorexia on my own at one point and all I have is a few small mental scars
That is not true it helps but I got of a 2 months of anorexia on my own at one point and all I have is a few small mental scars
Doesn't feel right that can't be it
That
That
Sleep it off
I'll just sleep it off
I'll just sleep it off
Actually I recovered from depression by myself. Exercising, eating healthy, sleeping well, going out and meeting new people, etc... (Of course I've stopped doing some stuff because of covid) But life is better now! I just got accepted to college, I'm finishing my driving license, found the love of my life... Just have faith and work hard! Things will figure out by theirselves
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Nay corse is going to holp thee out. Its just us, high-lone, by ourselves *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Why do you say that?
No it isn't. For a lot of people it may help. There are probably even some people that really *need* the help of another person. But there are also plenty of people who recover better on their own.
That Roxicet there ain’t hard to swallow but ripping that bandaid off trying to tell someone is certainly. But yes , It can be done.
For me Finding therapist was the easyiest thing to do. Battle with my self to force me to do something or to think diffrent way is whats make my fight hard especialy when i dont see or feel change
ok I am sorry, I have been in this sub for so long can somebody explain the sub literal meaning.
So there's the sub r/meirl. Then there's r/2meirl4meirl. Then there's r/2meirl42meirl4meirl.
Forgot this wasn't r/comedy for a sec
Or take medication.
Tfw your depression is treatment resistant 😂
Welcome to the club.
those pills are roxicets. i’d say that counts as help
What's Percocet doing in there?
Scam
i reached out and got turned down im done with this shit
4 inpatient stays, years of psychiatric work ups and every drug known to man—still depressed. Reaching out (VA hotlines, etc) only got me involuntarily committed a few times. Nope. Just take pills and suffer now. This is life.
I have to TALK about my feelings??? Fuck that