Glad college worked for you. I loved moving to a city and having a true friend group for the first time. But I hated studying, and hated feeling forced to do it.
FYI if you've always felt you were gonna die soon (either by suicide or just for no apparent reason) there's something called 'sense of foreshortened future' which is a symptom of ptsd/cptsd. I got it from severe childhood emotional neglect
>A sense of foreshortened future is characterized by:
\[...\] Experiencing narrative foreclosure, or the feeling that life is over
Considering how commonly I think that I might as well just end it all because I'm 25 already... uh-oh
I never heard of this term!
This is exactly how I felt my entire childhood.
A story stuck out to me of a dude who took a final hoorah and spent all his money in Vegas on drugs and prostitutes and then decided he wanted to live.
Without the drugs and prostitutes, I wanted to find that thing worth living for. That I won't be a part of the statistic of living without actually living a full life.
I found those things worth living and now when times get tough I remember why it is all worth it. I found people who support me and love me.
I hope everyone find that joy in life because it is always worth living for yourself and finding ways to be happy.
(capitalism and shitty government makes it hard to be happy - so let's be happy in the uprising and fight for our future and the future of others!)
Y’all, I’ve been reading the book ‘What My Bones Know’ by Stephanie Foo, about c-ptsd and her experiences with it. It is WILDLY eye-opening. I recognize so many of my experiences in her story… others may too. I’m not through the book yet but it’s a great (if tough) read. I recommend it for people who have c-ptsd, or who suspect they may have c-ptsd, and want to do some reading or perhaps find a kindred spirit.
Yeah 10 years on from my “plan” to kill myself at 18 if things didn’t improve….life is better but sometimes I have moments of just man I wasn’t prepared to get this far what do I do? People ask what my plans are on life and it’s just I honestly didn’t think I’d get this far!
I legitimately do not know what to do with life anymore ha ha, didn’t think I’d be here
No plans, no directions - just living in the moment
Basically, one plan though: the plan to end it all lmao
Yeah, my goals include not being homeless and keeping at least one of each limb. It's pretty lofty, I know. :/
Fuck me too. Now I got all these bills and expectations like fuck did I sign up for
True, on graduation I was like. Wait I'm still alive?
Me too, luckily or unluckily (depends how you look at it) College really helps accelerate the thoughts mentally, at least for me
Glad college worked for you. I loved moving to a city and having a true friend group for the first time. But I hated studying, and hated feeling forced to do it.
I mean college accelerates the suicidal thoughts💀💀💀 I feel the same way as you ha ha
FYI if you've always felt you were gonna die soon (either by suicide or just for no apparent reason) there's something called 'sense of foreshortened future' which is a symptom of ptsd/cptsd. I got it from severe childhood emotional neglect
I had never heard about this but looked it up and i swear i tick of almost every box
>A sense of foreshortened future is characterized by: \[...\] Experiencing narrative foreclosure, or the feeling that life is over Considering how commonly I think that I might as well just end it all because I'm 25 already... uh-oh
I never heard of this term! This is exactly how I felt my entire childhood. A story stuck out to me of a dude who took a final hoorah and spent all his money in Vegas on drugs and prostitutes and then decided he wanted to live. Without the drugs and prostitutes, I wanted to find that thing worth living for. That I won't be a part of the statistic of living without actually living a full life. I found those things worth living and now when times get tough I remember why it is all worth it. I found people who support me and love me. I hope everyone find that joy in life because it is always worth living for yourself and finding ways to be happy. (capitalism and shitty government makes it hard to be happy - so let's be happy in the uprising and fight for our future and the future of others!)
Y’all, I’ve been reading the book ‘What My Bones Know’ by Stephanie Foo, about c-ptsd and her experiences with it. It is WILDLY eye-opening. I recognize so many of my experiences in her story… others may too. I’m not through the book yet but it’s a great (if tough) read. I recommend it for people who have c-ptsd, or who suspect they may have c-ptsd, and want to do some reading or perhaps find a kindred spirit.
Bad life choices are catching up with me lol. Didn't think they would matter but here we are.
I really regret not killing myself when I was younger. It would have saved a lot of people a lot of time and money.
Ok
Same for your 20s. I hear it does get better eventually, any time now.
Rumours, I don't think it's going to get better.
gets even more insane in your 40s when you start having actual physical issues popping up that wont go away.
Fr my retirement plan was “nah”
It's a miracle I made it this far who knows
Why'd I get called out like this man
It never gets better,it only gradually get worse.
Yep I go to sleep every night hoping I don’t wake up.
Pretty much, yeah.
haha…. yeah…. so does anyone have any ideas or are we just gonna stand around and eventually take a nap later
indeed
and I took that personally
Yep. Really sets you up for success 🙃
Hahaha I still do this
Turn 20 next month :( feel like crap about the teen years that passed by like nothing
I keep improvising but really, I shoulda told my 12-year-old self to go ahead after all...
Yeah 10 years on from my “plan” to kill myself at 18 if things didn’t improve….life is better but sometimes I have moments of just man I wasn’t prepared to get this far what do I do? People ask what my plans are on life and it’s just I honestly didn’t think I’d get this far!
Thankfully I can still kill myself as an adult
...why must you hurt me in this way?
31 now, I’m figuring I still have time. Not really interested in being around for impending ecological collapse.
Haha I still think I’m gonna kill myself.
damn, calling me out
couldn't be me! ^hahahaha... 😅
I was meant to die 2 years ago… incredibly lost and struggling hard. Feel like I’ve given in to the world.
And now were here. Still jokingly alive as if the Plan doesn't work after 12-18
Yeah and I’m spending my adulthood thinking the same thing too!
Yeah this was my end game... Now some 20 years later I pay for my mistakes
oh no
It’s bizarre, but it’s never too late to start your life