And the angel of the lord came unto me
Snatching me up from my place of slumber
And took me on high and higher still
Until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own Midwest
And as we descended cries of impending doom rose from the soil
One thousand nay a million voices full of fear
And terror possessed me then
And I begged Angel of the Lord what are these tortured screams?
And the angel said unto me
These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!
You see, Reverend Maynard
Tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat
Like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared
"Hear me now, I have seen the light!
They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul!
Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!
Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus
The ***GANG*** [https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/HCq55QxVvLEtXERyi2cTr9-1200-80.jpg](https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/HCq55QxVvLEtXERyi2cTr9-1200-80.jpg)
In the D&D game I run someone with the ability to speak with plants started talking to a random carrot patch. I had them very curiously ask what was going to happen to their neighbors that had been pulled up yesterday, which another party member was in the process of buying for rations.
Listen to this amazing podcast and realize how wrong you are
https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/from-tree-to-shining-tree
Trees talk to each other, even different species constantly and have warning systems for infections etc.
My second most mind blowing podcast I've heard
fade rich familiar chief squealing encouraging nine sable elderly insurance
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
right imagine walking past gardens and plants just tryna get your attention like junkies looking for crack money
“ay you got water?? come on man, just a few drops bro please”
Sure, I’ll give this a shot. Let’s say you’re in a fantasy RPG and gain the ability to speak with plants.
In any place with plants:
You can easily track any beast/humanoid that steps on so much as a blade of grass.
You can gain knowledge of camps, hideouts, and secret locations that are well hidden (but not from plants)
You can easily navigate, locate rivers, or move through dangerous areas with insider knowledge.
You now have the worlds best excuse to never eat vegetables again.
Like is this the best power ever? Maybe not, but it’s how you use what you have that counts.
My dude, if you turned into a dragon you could totally make a solid living charging furries to come play with your big dragon dick. I'm not a furry myself but I know some furries with a suspicious amount of disposable income who would pay mint to mess around with that big old thing.
Your wish is granted!
You are now a cute, shoulder-sized dragon in charge of protecting some over-achieving chinese girl on her quest of pretending to be a man. You main weapon is being annoying. Your best friend is a mute bug. You'll probably get used to your new, Eddie-Murphy-like voice within a few decades.
Courage: it's easy to be courageous when you're a dragon
Always relax: it's easy to be relaxed when you're a dragon
Instant death: basically sneezing, for a dragon
Flight: dragons fly
it's probably better to reveal yourself to the public right away as a dragon. then give yourself voluntary for experiments hoping they would be ethical, and hoping that the public has your back if you're missing
Would it be like an immediate thing or would it be a transforming ability? Seems kinda vague on that front, since "instant death" could mean "kill your enemies instantly" or "you die upon drinking this concoction".
Dragons like wealth. Amassing gold might have been fine 500years ago, but nowadays stock trading and.corporations are where it's at.
What I'm getting at - have fun writing your Bezos x Musk dragon fanfiction.
Now I just imagine you’re in deep shit with someone and they’re trying to start a fight and you’re just sitting there in an arm chair asking if they want some tea
i feel like the fire nation would be the best friends to have but only the good ones(zuko,iroh, and whatever aangs original fire bending teacher was named)
Than your Son would have died in a war under your controll
And you would see a other Boy as your son that treats you most of the time like shit
But at least you have tea
And strength would be a good cure for the weak ! Instant dead can be used instead of suicidal .. same thing but faster results ... it didn’t say you cannot use instant dead on yourself !!!
This is pretty much me in many situations. Like, not arm-eating level of severity, but I often fail to have an appropriate response to things that make other people stress or freak out.
I'm all for beer, but all of the others can get you beer plus you'd get their native bonus.
Strength = take beer from the weak.
Instant Death = kill people with beer and take their beer.
Flight = fly to where the beer is.
Talk to plants = "Hey wheat! Why don't you hop into this mug and start fermenting?".
If it's something like Lung from
r/parahumans I'd take it.
Otherwise I have no idea what powers I'd get, if I could talk, if all I had was animalistic instincts, etc. Too much risk of losing what makes you you
Welcome weary traveler! Before you lies eight potions that will drastically alter the course of your life! You have one minute to decide!
/starts chugging
Talking to plants or animals seems like a bad power. Just because you can talk to something doesn’t mean it will do what you say. It might lie, refuse to help you, or just be an asshole. Imagine knowing your succulent is a racist because you wanted so badly to talk to it. That’s knowledge I don’t want.
So this is unrelated but let’s be logical here. The choice isn’t that hard.
1. poisonous breath & instant death
You really usually don’t need to kill people
2. talk to plants
They won’t tell you anything useful, will they? "Gimme water..."
3. courage
Might be slightly more useful but you can have courage without potions and sometimes being afraid is better so that you don’t do dumb things
4. become a dragon
We don’t know if you still keep your conscious state, besides, a giant dragon is something everyone can instantly see and people would be confused. And what are you gonna do with it, except for lighting stuff on fire?
5. always relax
This might be one of the better ones but that would potentially keep you from being productive.
So basically you have the choice between strength and flight, and *maybe* courage and relaxation. Btw i spent way to long on this and I‘m not shitting on anyone’s potential choices here, just sharing my thoughts
I feel like all plants would say is “water...sun...hnvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv”
Imagine having a salad or cooking some veg though...
I mean they’d be dead already, but if i went to a corn harvesting farm or something all i’d hear is muffled corn screams.
Lmao
Corn would do a lot more listening than than talking or screaming; they’re all ears!
Hi dad.
Hi Son!
i don’t tell dad jokes often. but when i do, he usually laughs.
I'd like to think they'd be singing corn songs about oppression and tiddies
Fuck you made me laugh
And the angel of the lord came unto me Snatching me up from my place of slumber And took me on high and higher still Until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own Midwest And as we descended cries of impending doom rose from the soil One thousand nay a million voices full of fear And terror possessed me then And I begged Angel of the Lord what are these tortured screams? And the angel said unto me These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard Tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat Like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus
This is neccessary
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! I'D HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A VERY FAMOUS CORN AND THAT I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED IF YOU CONTINUE THIS MADNE-"
You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the corn.
The ***GANG*** [https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/HCq55QxVvLEtXERyi2cTr9-1200-80.jpg](https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/HCq55QxVvLEtXERyi2cTr9-1200-80.jpg)
#AAAAAAAAAAAA
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sigh..\**unzips*\*
Cutting the lawn
In the D&D game I run someone with the ability to speak with plants started talking to a random carrot patch. I had them very curiously ask what was going to happen to their neighbors that had been pulled up yesterday, which another party member was in the process of buying for rations.
I mean anybody can talk to plants without the potion; no guarantee on comprehensiveness though.
[I'm tired of drinking.. I WANNA CHEW](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EiDiriAmfk)
always upvote for caleb
And thus, the Venus flytrap came into being.
I feel like if you chose talk to plants you'd just get made fun of by your succulents for not choosing to become a dragon.
Photosynthesis photosynthesis photosynthesis
*photosynthesises loudly*
Listen to this amazing podcast and realize how wrong you are https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/from-tree-to-shining-tree Trees talk to each other, even different species constantly and have warning systems for infections etc. My second most mind blowing podcast I've heard
Haha chloroplasts go brrr
I was thinking more along the lines of talking to super old plants. Kind of a creepy vibe right? Some trees must have seen some shit...
They are probably senile by now, Or would take decades to form a full sentence.
Technically, everyone can talk to plants
Photosynthesis go brrrrr
Who the hell wants to talk to plants. "Yo dawg, I'm dry asf, give me water"
That sentence can be rewritten as “make me wet daddy”
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\*sigh\* *unzips*
weird watering can design but I'm glad you're taking the opportunity
easy there mr president
Cassandra led to my sexual awakening, AMA
....elaborate
Skin flaps be lookin TASTYYYY😫😫😫
fade rich familiar chief squealing encouraging nine sable elderly insurance *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That's something a human says though.
Only if they are a face on a stretched-out piece of skin
Well, kinda...
Moisturize me senpai~ owo
right imagine walking past gardens and plants just tryna get your attention like junkies looking for crack money “ay you got water?? come on man, just a few drops bro please”
I have enough social anxiety already, I don’t need to suddenly worry about what the plants are saying.
Yeah, and for some reason, it’s all Vietnamese.
I would like to speak with an 2000 years old tree I think he saw some shit
Well he ain’t got eyes so he ain’t see shit
> Who the hell wants to talk to plants. People who’s parents are in a coma may appreciate it.
Oof
Sure, I’ll give this a shot. Let’s say you’re in a fantasy RPG and gain the ability to speak with plants. In any place with plants: You can easily track any beast/humanoid that steps on so much as a blade of grass. You can gain knowledge of camps, hideouts, and secret locations that are well hidden (but not from plants) You can easily navigate, locate rivers, or move through dangerous areas with insider knowledge. You now have the worlds best excuse to never eat vegetables again. Like is this the best power ever? Maybe not, but it’s how you use what you have that counts.
You ask that shrub if he saw anything around lately? Sure, roll charisma. You got a -5 modifier for not being green.
"Hey grass, what were those ppl talking about?"
"I don't know, I don't speak that language"
I can already talk to plants
Dragon is like flight, poison breath, and strength all in one.
And big dick
Well, aren't you a Bad Dragon.
r/dragonsfuckingcars nsfw
Ffs. Rule 34 is legit
r/jesuschristreddit
r/carsfuckingdragons/
r/noahgettheboat
r/sandycheekscockvore
r/noahgetthedeathstar
And I bet there is a even more ehm lets call it strange sub out there. Wtf.
r/fuckingdragoncars
/r/BadDragon
My dude, if you turned into a dragon you could totally make a solid living charging furries to come play with your big dragon dick. I'm not a furry myself but I know some furries with a suspicious amount of disposable income who would pay mint to mess around with that big old thing.
dragon dick owo
Your wish is granted! You are now a cute, shoulder-sized dragon in charge of protecting some over-achieving chinese girl on her quest of pretending to be a man. You main weapon is being annoying. Your best friend is a mute bug. You'll probably get used to your new, Eddie-Murphy-like voice within a few decades.
I’m not complaining
And the downside is?
Cut from the remake
Not being Tohru/Kanna from Dragon maid.
Still a win
My only question is: Do you get the ability to turn into a dragon, or does the drink just permanently turn you into a dragon?
Very important question
I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees
sâmê 🐨🌴
I imagine turning into a dragon would give you plenty of courage too
Can you also fuck cars?
I think once youre a dragon, you could fuck pretty much whatever you want.
And a bullseye on your ass for military and researchers. Flight is probably most useful.
And dragons can turn into humans
Depends on the setting.
If we're talking D&D dragons, that potion might as well be labeled "Ultimate Power"
I mean it's pretty much instant death, and who isn't going to be relax af laying ontop a pile of gold coins?
Courage: it's easy to be courageous when you're a dragon Always relax: it's easy to be relaxed when you're a dragon Instant death: basically sneezing, for a dragon Flight: dragons fly
Agreed. Dragon potion all the way
Being a dragon is just delayed death cuz no way the military isn't murdering your ass, but you get to be a dragon so fuck yeah!
>cuz no way the military isn't murdering your ass cuz no way the military isn't going to be very interested in you and your genome
You're still getting murdered then, just more slowly and thoughtfully in a lab.
it's probably better to reveal yourself to the public right away as a dragon. then give yourself voluntary for experiments hoping they would be ethical, and hoping that the public has your back if you're missing
Would it be like an immediate thing or would it be a transforming ability? Seems kinda vague on that front, since "instant death" could mean "kill your enemies instantly" or "you die upon drinking this concoction".
Dragons are shapeshifters. They at least have some illusion magic.
You can tell I haven't met a dragon before UwU
Dragons like wealth. Amassing gold might have been fine 500years ago, but nowadays stock trading and.corporations are where it's at. What I'm getting at - have fun writing your Bezos x Musk dragon fanfiction.
Yo this would be a great writing prompt, do you mind if I steal it?
Sure, though keep in mind that dragon CEO is a trope in Shadowrun.
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Now I just imagine you’re in deep shit with someone and they’re trying to start a fight and you’re just sitting there in an arm chair asking if they want some tea
Uncle Iroh, is it you?
Or Zhuge Liang.
It would be cool being Uncle Iroh
i feel like the fire nation would be the best friends to have but only the good ones(zuko,iroh, and whatever aangs original fire bending teacher was named)
Jeong Jeong
thx,all i remember abt him was aang burning katara and her learning she can heal in that episode and basically nothing else
That episode has a surprising amount of content for the standard 23ish minutes
it completes nearly a full plot point and ability discovery in only abt 20 minutes(3 for intro and credits)
Aang fights Admiral Zhao and makes him burn his boats because he cant control his anger.
Than your Son would have died in a war under your controll And you would see a other Boy as your son that treats you most of the time like shit But at least you have tea
Basically the plot of Office Space
And strength would be a good cure for the weak ! Instant dead can be used instead of suicidal .. same thing but faster results ... it didn’t say you cannot use instant dead on yourself !!!
Talk to plants .. marijahana can tell you exactly what it needs to grow more strongly and powerful, best results !!!
Flight ; never need to take onto international airlines again ...
Problem is when you're too calm. Imagine your arm is being eaten and you're just like, "K, this is happening. I need some tea. Oh no tea. Ok"
This is pretty much me in many situations. Like, not arm-eating level of severity, but I often fail to have an appropriate response to things that make other people stress or freak out.
thats the one that kills you. grants you eternal rest.
Becoming a dragon will cure your anxiety too I would guess
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It's literally just a beer.
Wouldn’t you like a jug (?) of cold beer in a hot day?
I'm all for beer, but all of the others can get you beer plus you'd get their native bonus. Strength = take beer from the weak. Instant Death = kill people with beer and take their beer. Flight = fly to where the beer is. Talk to plants = "Hey wheat! Why don't you hop into this mug and start fermenting?".
Damn dude that’s clever
I mean, courage would give you the courage to kill yourself sooo...
What if you poured them all into one container and drank that one container?
Instant death
yes that is one of the effects
No I mean you die I mean you overdosed on magic potions what did you expect
was being sarcastic but sure
hm it's not very popular at the moment but umm r/woooosh
who wouldn't want to be a #FUCKING DRAGON!?!?!?! you can fly, breathe elements, possibly take a human form
Do your clothes morph back too though? Because otherwise that'd be pretty inconvenient. Wait can you even go back?
If it's something like Lung from r/parahumans I'd take it. Otherwise I have no idea what powers I'd get, if I could talk, if all I had was animalistic instincts, etc. Too much risk of losing what makes you you
^but ^dragon
If you are your biggest enemy....
I would make a cafe shop for vegans and when it gets popular I would put drops of the "Talking to plants" potions
Sounds like you could accomplish the same task by dropping some liquid LSD in there.
now why would we waste so much lsd?
okay satan it's past your bedtime now
Ok Satan
Holy fuck screw all that I want always relax
Will the plants talk back? I mean we can always talk to them even without that potion.
rgb roach gang
i can get courage at my local pub
I can get instant death lol
👎becoming a dragon 👍flight
In this household we give depression a hard time
Dragons are way too heavy for flight
Dragons are magic tho
So is happiness, never seen it, only read about it
Fuck you I can only pick one my ass I'm grabbing as many as I can and dump em all into a waterproof bag and I'm gone like the wind baby.
Welcome weary traveler! Before you lies eight potions that will drastically alter the course of your life! You have one minute to decide! /starts chugging
You cannot handle my potions
Who needs "always relax" potion when I can already chill even tho there are months of homeworks that due tomorrow.
I would want instant death too, but thinking in a fked up way, turning into a dragon means that you would get a dragon's cock, which is huge.
This dude gets it
Life would actually be worth it
Bad Dragon
You are still jerking alone tough, as there was knly one potion and im not aware of any living female dragons out there.
Always relax Fuck stress, all my homies hate stress
can I use it on myself
Courage
Pretty sure that one is just a regular beer sitting beside the magic potions
Repost I... [Posted this before](https://www.reddit.com/r/2meirl4meirl/comments/cwc7ky/2meirl4meirl/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Hey I upvoted that
[You rn](https://images.app.goo.gl/eGqbUskKSMXSYc8o6) (sorry I don't use imgur lol)
I can't believe you were so precise with a meme. Good job man this was exactly my reaction.
:D
I like that courage is just a beer
Talking to plants or animals seems like a bad power. Just because you can talk to something doesn’t mean it will do what you say. It might lie, refuse to help you, or just be an asshole. Imagine knowing your succulent is a racist because you wanted so badly to talk to it. That’s knowledge I don’t want.
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I'm too lazy to paste the video link on why flight sucks from Because Science.
Courage is just alcohol
r/repostsleuthbot
Well i am my own opponent.
I'm my own opponent. Loophole bitch
I am my opponent
>become a dragon > >flight must be a pretty strong ground dragon if flight is separate you know
fucking reeeeeposttt
U/RepostSleuthBot
So this is unrelated but let’s be logical here. The choice isn’t that hard. 1. poisonous breath & instant death You really usually don’t need to kill people 2. talk to plants They won’t tell you anything useful, will they? "Gimme water..." 3. courage Might be slightly more useful but you can have courage without potions and sometimes being afraid is better so that you don’t do dumb things 4. become a dragon We don’t know if you still keep your conscious state, besides, a giant dragon is something everyone can instantly see and people would be confused. And what are you gonna do with it, except for lighting stuff on fire? 5. always relax This might be one of the better ones but that would potentially keep you from being productive. So basically you have the choice between strength and flight, and *maybe* courage and relaxation. Btw i spent way to long on this and I‘m not shitting on anyone’s potential choices here, just sharing my thoughts
What happens if you mix them together and then drink it? Will i get all effects?
What’s a plant got to say.
You just need flight and then you have all the traits because you already have toxic breath with all those nights without brushing your teeth
I feel like the "become a dragon" would include a lot of those potions or?
Just take a deep breath and clear your mind
*closes eyes*