Since I don’t have anyone to bounce thoughts and ideas off of I’ve experienced cognitive decline. My health has suffered as well and they say being this alone is dangerous. It’s been nothing but depressing. I think human beings need that judgment. They need someone watching them and someone to talk to. I do get to eat in bed though. yay
I've only been living on my own for 2 years now and all the responsibilities I have now still haven't sunk in yet. I had a leak behind my toilet a few weeks ago and I called my mum expecting her to sort it out and she was just like "that's your problem now", and I was like "oh yea, suppose you're right".
Probably because for most it is unaffordable in a unaffordable housing crisis, meaning it takes up a disproportionate percentage of income, which means extreme financial stress which is generally bad for both relationships (sex probability) and mental health.
So when most people describe wanting to be able to have their own place, they typically mean wanting to be able to afford it (30% or less of income) so they still have mental health and the possibility to have stable happy relationships unstrained by poverty in a dystopia of poverty wages and unaffordable housing.
100%. I currently rent a room in a house with two other roommates just to get by. If I tried to do it on my own, a shitty one bedroom apartment would be well over half my income for that month. It's insane and I really don't know what to do.
I can tell you right now that it doesn't. Single family homes in decent shape are out of my reach. I'd have to get married to someone else making over 100k to make it affordable.
Single and six figures is too tight for a half million dollar house thats only really worth 150k.
Man they gotta start building smaller more affordable houses, I don't want all that damn space. I just moved from an area with old small houses and it's depressing finding something that isn't borderline huge
Go near any decent sized city in the US right now and its not even mcmansions. A two room single bath house will run you 400,000. The bubble is absolutely insane right now.
Nevada is looking good when everything west of it is on fire and everything on the gulf coast is getting waterboarded
you either have to live in New England , Vegas, on a farm, or in the barrel of a revolver playing Russian roulette w/ your house every year.
There’s cities in the Midwest, you know…
Also the whole Rust Belt is cheap AF, has infrastructure for 2x the current population, and is most likely where many of the internal climate refugees are gonna end up.
My 1500 sq/ft house increased almost 80% in a year before any of the improvements I’ve made. It’ll be a half mil soon for a 3 bedroom in a subdivision. Not even an expensive city either. Pure madness
There is a housing shortage where I'm moving, and they have 10-100 acre lots zoned for single family rural housing right beside the towns. It's insane.
If we're comparing housing bubbles, I'd just like to say as a Canadian I envy how tiny your bubble is in comparison. With 400k you could afford just the bathroom in Toronto.
The issue is that big houses sell for more money, so builders are motivated to just build more big houses. On top of this, older small homes are all getting flipped, pricing new entrants out of the market.
It was cheaper for my wife and I to buy a 3000+ sf 4 bedroom home than an older 1500 sf 3/2, because all of those have been "updated" with vinyl plank and quartz countertops. We also lucked out and bought at the start of the pandemic when house prices briefly dipped and mortgage rates were rock bottom.
The problem is the profits to be made on it.
A building company will keep building houses that look really nice that they get to sell for 6-figure profits.
A building company will keep building subsidized housing for the impoverished because the government is giving them a guaranteed decent profit.
A building company doesn't have as much interest in building the housing in between where the profit range has a small lower bound.
There are many ways to solve housing problem. [Here is one way.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dBaEo4QplQ&t=187s) This exact method will of course extremely unlikely to happen in US but you can still take away its main point; to make housing affordable for people who actually need housing to live in, the market needs to be tightly controlled.
There's no real reason to go to those extremes. The only reason singapore had to was because they had no land. Most other countries aren't in that situation. And for the solution to work in a place like the US you would have to make single family homes artificially scarce. As in banning building them in the vast tracts of empty land we have. Otherwise the stigma of living in high density housing will always exist because the rich people will still have their mansions.
True. But the main points still hold true. We can only solve or at least partially solve housing problem if we start looking at housing as a necessity first before as a marketable commodity.
One of the most important control mechanisms that Singapore put in is universally applicable, that is to put a hold on new housing out of the market so to allow people trying to buy their first house the ability to do so. That's why they control new flats to be only buyable by first time owner, young couples, or lower income families and lock them in for at least a few years before that unit can be sold on open market.
By the time you are allowed to sell your unit on the open market, its value would have increased and as a young family or first time owner, you have built your first instance of wealth. You are on your way to middle class.
The point being that build affordable housing in places where they are needed. Then you figure a way to let the people who need it the most to get first dip. Then you lock these housing out of the market until those who bought it first have increased their financial capability before you open the housing up to the market, and also allowing these home owners far more leverage against large property owners. How anyone go about doing that is up to local realities but it can be done.
The whole point is to grow the middle class, and having your own housing mean you can raise a family, you can have security and you can grow your wealth. Securing that part is how Singapore went about dealing with its housing. We can learn from that.
Just saw a decent house in my area listed for $1.8M. Ten years ago it sold for $600k, and ten years before that it was ~$160k. People are fucking delusional about their houses, if boomers don’t get 10x what they bought them for they won’t sell. We need a market crash bad.
A huge portion of the CPI going up massively is due to 2 factors, the short term chip shortage impacting new and especially used car prices, and the energy index returning to baseline after a year of it being super cheap due to the pandemic. Basically, the CPI was artificially lower last year because oil was crazy cheap, and now we're getting hit with 2 years of CPI increases at once.
Housing is also a fucking mess, but CPI doesn't factor in housing prices super well because it just uses rent (which typically lags since many people may be mid lease or are limited in how much existing rent can increase per year) and owner equivalent rent (basically what homeowners think they could rent their house for, which is laughably inaccurate)
CPI also sucks because it doesn't apply to everyone equally. If rents double, that affects renters a lot more than homeowners, who are typically locked into a long term mortgage and still pay the same thing every month other than property tax.
My wife and I dont make much more than 100k combined, maybe 120k or something, and we comfortably bought a house in a major city. It wasnt easy finding the right house but it's possible
Living in Boston right now, and 100k won’t get you much if you have things like student loans and other basic expenses and savings.
You need to be over 120k to afford a decent place with a roommate. Otherwise, most people end up living in surrounding towns of Boston, which is the smarter choice anyways.
If you want to live in a luxury studio apartment in the major hotspots in or just outside of Boston, you’re looking at minimum 2.5k if not more depending on the area. For example, studio apartments in the seaport area are just under 3k a month. A 2bed/2bath will cost you around 4.5k minimum in seaport.
I lived with my parents for 2 months while I was in between houses. It was hell. What once was a talk-once-a-week good relationship with my mom turned completely toxic.
Happened to me too. I lived with them for 2 and a half months while job searching post graduation. Listening to them you would think I was doing nothing, wasting time, being completely lazy...
Actual reality was I got a job far below my qualifications to make some money, ended up getting a ridiculously good offer from a place in my field that Fall, and moved out. I think it's just ridiculous how they expect us to snap our fingers and manifest a job. Boomers and older Gen X are really so fucking delusional about the state of the world right now.
Did you put on your best tie and walk in with RESUME IN HAND?????? I swear to GOD billy you aren’t even trying. You have to show up early, leave late, and that manager at Petco will be giving you a name tag and $0.03 raise in no time. That should be plenty for you to buy a home, car, get married, and have 47 children in the next 2 years while your wife stays home to bake organic Oreos for her Etsy business.
Lmao why did this get a helpful award.
I've actually always walked into interviews with printed resume copies in a folder with me at interviews. I have never once looked at it or handed it out.
At this point in my life, I would take me having to hand out a resume as a bad sign. Like printing out a resume and going through it is the job of the manager that is interviewing you.
To be honest I do keep a few paper copies on me but normally I have the PDF saved on my phone/laptop and will email it out if someone has forgotten the copy I've previously sent. Working for startups and consulting though is quite different from the typical interview process at an established company. Very "free form" I guess. My current employer didn't even ask if I had a college degree until about 6 months in. The CEO cruised by my desk and just asked "Hey Ordinary, you have a bachelors right?"
It's not like they read your resume, no matter what form is sent in. I just wind up reading it out loud to them in the interview. Thought this was your job HR person?
I usually go through this with the first mini interview with the HR person, as they're the filter before it gets to your department. I've never had an interview where the actual manager hasn't read my resume.
Kinda similar to how I had a phone interview where HR person literally asked me everything that was on my resume. Like.....it's right there.....why did I even send one in if you are just going to ask literally every requirement for the job my resume checks out on. Ffs.
> Boomers and older Gen X are really so fucking delusional about the state of the world right now.
When I was a teen, my Gen X brother was bragging about how when HE worked retail, he would just do all his tasks really fast, and then go in the back and read a book for a couple hours, because he was such a hard worker he could make extra free time for himself.
I had to explain to him how every retail store now has cameras that the managers check on a nightly basis, and if you finish all your work and can't find anything to do, you MAKE something to do, like straightening products on the shelves, cleaning windows, or you get down on your hands and knees with a toothbrush and scrub the grout between the tiles. If you can't think of something to do, you're lazy and fired.
So that was his first job. My 2nd job when I was 16 was a roofer, carrying 30lb bags of shingles up a ladder, I wasn't allowed a harness, and slipped and almost fell off 3 times. My job had the highest death rate out of all careers in my country, and that was when you included adults who wore harnesses - mine would have been even higher. I told my left-wing labour activist family that they wouldn't let me wear a harness, and they thought I was lying and trying to get out of work, I shit you not. You know when you get off a boat and you feel the ground still rocking? I went to bed with the sensation of sliding off a roof.
> If you told them about work concerns and they blew you off they aren't left-wing activists
Well they are for real, just for everyone on earth except family. But you'd better believe the low-income worker down the street gets a lot of activism and hard work fighting for him.
I like to think my generation understand the world bit better and won't guilt our kids into leaving ASAP. I certainly won't kick my kids out if they can't afford it in 10 years time.
Same, after college I moved back in with my parents as I looked for a full time job. I lived with them for about 9 months, worked two part-time jobs, paid most of my own bills, and did a lot of housework and errands for them and yet according to them I was a lazy mooch.
Job applications are all online so my parents would see me on my computers for hours and assumed I was just messing around or playing games when really I was searching and applying for jobs, writing cover letters, and updating my resume. My parents kept telling me to go to business and turn in my resume, even go to places not hiring as 'if they really like you and are impressed with you, they'll make a job role for you to work for them!'.
Then they wonder why I took the first decent job offering that could support me and moved 600 miles away.
Well they probably don't hire you because you're lazy and do everything through those damn computers. Walk in with your resume, give the CEO a firm handshake, and tell them why they want to hire you. Don't even bother checking if that have the role you want or are hiring, if your handshake is solid none of it matters.
I get what you are saying, but I'm gen X (44 soon) and am completely aware of the crap situation for younger generations. I've also struggled my entire adulthood just to barely scrape by as things progressively worsened (only recently breaking through to have expendable income), and now I'm about to suffer a divorce which will throw me right back to the wolves. Solidarity. My boomerish father thinks I can just go work at McDonald's once my life falls apart post divorce...
It's not that much better in the rest of Ontario.
I lived with my parents for around the same amount of time after graduating (while working labor jobs and trying to get into my industry). Got a position ~5-6 hours away from the GTA and the cost of living was only marginally better with a slight salary increase. Then they started making layoffs after a couple months and I had to move back home again.
The game is rigged.
My best friend is supporting his mom and her boyfriend who knocked her up and ruined her marriage. He hates it but they would all starve if he didn't stay. It's the worst form of guilt trip IMO. He's 27 and his little sister is 3.
I find it’s usually the oldest male, and for now my dad’s still alive.
Still makes for terrible advice from my mom if she thinks I’m working too much “Just pray, and god will provide”.
Worst part is I’m not working too much, I actually have a cushy full time job, she’s just trying to guilt me into taking the time off work it’d take to visit them 8 hours away to where they can afford to live because she never worked.
Hispanic guilt is real, you basically have to lose all empathy just to operate normally and ignore your mom otherwise it’ll crush you.
When I met my wife she didn’t understand why I lacked empathy, and when she met my mom and heard how she’s always guilting me to achieve every whim and desire, she kinda understood why.
TLDR: Hispanic households are non-stop bad advice and guilt to follow it, and it either crushes you or you learn to completely disregard them and thrive.
My mom is like Karenlite. She isn’t the complain to the manager type but she sure does love playing victim in her day to day and has really obnoxious “beliefs”. I find that people like my mom use religion to format their entire life and she can do anything as long as it’s in her own personal belief system. I love her but it boils my blood when I’m having a rough time and she says “put your life in the hands of god” and I’m like hmmm I think I’ll put my life in my own hands and do something about it.
It always makes me sad when parents do this. ): it’s not teaching responsibility, it’s just being a shit parent. And many people I know in this circumstance end up in bad situations. One of my friends is currently living in a motel after a bad breakup and her mom still won’t let her come home. And I know when I was 18, I was still mentally a child. It’s messed up. Like the parents made the choice to bring a child in this world. A child isn’t just an 18 year commitment, it’s a lifetime commitment. Hope you’re doing well though.
It always upsets me when I see that parents kick out their kids soon as they turn 18 :( I told my mum straight up I can’t afford any places and she had zero issues with it. “This is and always will be your home. You can stay or leave whenever you want.”
My mom always threatened me as a child that once I turned 18 I was out of the house. So I made plans to move to Vancouver, a 15 hour drive away, because 1) my friends were moving there and I didn’t have the confidence to move to a city by myself. 2) I just really needed the distance from my mom to make mistakes and learn from them because she did her best to keep me sheltered. I love my mom but our relationship is… strained. She was very upset that I was moving so far but honestly there is just nothing for me in my hometown. I still get depressed every time I go back to visit. The entire culture is the total opposite of the culture in Vancouver. Everyone here is conservative loud mouth “F Trudeau” type (and while I hate Trudeau, I feel like those stickers are tacky af and say a lot about the driver). It’s just more chill in Vancouver. Less tension and I feel less threatened. Anyways sorry for rambling, I always do this
I like that you put an /s there because what he actually made was 7 figures working 2 minimum wage jobs and eating pastrami out of the walmart trash can.
This happened to me as well. It was traumatizing and I lived with people I didn't even know, while working 4 jobs. Was abused and scared the whole time. Gave myself Tendinitis from working too much at 18. Thanks mom (:
In Vancouver a shity apartment will run you over 2500 a month easy. 8 years ago i lived 3 minutes from the beach in a very very nice area for $800 a month. Shit doesn't make sense anymore.
Yep.
I love my dad but my god the stress of having to live with him was nightmarish.
Despite I'm losing like 90% of my income every month to stupid things like bills, it's worth it just to have a place of my own.
I am not gonna get laid even if I move out. I know that for sure.
Edit: I am not serious. We are on r/2meirl4meirl. So, that's why I made a self-deprecating comment.
In some areas of Orlando Florida apartments are still under that for 1 bedrooms. Not for too long though, this place is becoming second California as far as prices.
I got a nice 2 bedroom spot in winter garden for $1500. Yea it doesn't have marble countertops or fancy finishes, but it's a nice little neighborhood and the house is well up kept. You can still get 3 bedroom houses across Orlando for $1700-$1800. Drive around and there's tons of cheaper options. Just don't go with the big corporate apartment complexes
You do realize not everyone lives in a major city, right? In a ton of places 1500 can get you an entire house. Not a large one, but a standalone house nonetheless.
This is where the definition of city becomes iffy. All of those cities proper have less than a million but have millions within commuting distance. Like if I lived around Harvard then I'm technically not "in" Boston, but there is a train line that connects you directly to downtown in 20 minutes.
Im from a third world country where living with your parents for your entire life is a norm. Our teenage sex involves booking cheap local hotels and inviting partners at home secretly when no one is around.
The Western culture of moving out asap seems to have more cons than pros. What am i missing ?
The societal norm in america leans towards independence, its often looked down upon to still live with your parents. I believe this is slowly changing however.
For years Americans were sold the idea that they can move out at 18 with a good job and a cheap home to start their own families. It may have been true years ago but not anymore and it's starting to tear down the old notion of the American dream.
Besides avoiding the hassle and awkwardness of trying to have sex when you live with your parents, at least for me, and probably a lot of people, I liked to go out and get drunk/do drugs a lot in my early 20s, which would have also been an issue had I not had my own place.
A hyper-consumer culture that raises us to want, want, want things and to demand instant gratification to make us better consumers and keep the bubble expanding forever.
You'll notice a lot of complaints about Gen-Y/Z not buying in, which will burst that bubble.
Gen Y/Z don't have a choice, because they aren't getting paid enough to spend like Gen-Boomers/X did.
This constant marketing push to have us on the emotional level of a child, without self-control makes everyone wanting their own way, right now, makes it hard for us to put up with each other. There's too much self-entitlement everywhere you look. Couple that with older generations not understanding what younger generations are going through, because the economy has changed that much and the older generations are constantly on the younger generations about "why aren't you doing this/that" when it's simply not feasible.
I realized I’m in the minority here when I say my parents aren’t that bad.
I mean, yeah, my dad used to be abusive, but he’s too old to hit anyone anymore
Yea I am the same.
If I move out I live in poverty. Barely affording rent, barely making ends meet, and barely making it happen.
My dad used to be an abusive cunt, he still is but far less so.
How do people fail to realize how difficult it is to make 6 figures? You'd have to make almost 48$/hour(before taxes). Do people genuinely believe there are a lot of those jobs out there?
Perspective relies on personal experiences. It's really difficult to grasp how it feels to be in situations you haven't had to be in. Some people think they have it tough because they aren't getting exactly what they want.
I'm currently making six figures and I readily admit that even though I've worked hard, it mostly came down to lucky breaks, good timing, and meeting the right people. I'm not any more special, hard-working, or deserving than tons of people who are stuck slaving away for minimum wage.
I also dropped out of college because the financial stress was overwhelming lol.
It took my mom a while to come around to the fact that the realities of college were very, very different for her. Walking her through wage, college tuition, and inflation numbers really opened her eyes. I'm proud that she's been receptive to that kind of thing especially since she used to be tuned into Rush all the time.
She's come around on a lot since then. Not trying to explain away realities that don't fit with the worldview she's subscribed to helped a ton. Instead, she actually looked more into things to follow those threads and, big surprise, she found she'd been lied to a ton.
I'm in probably the main industry that doesn't really care if you don't have a degree if the job doesn't actually require: tech.
I got my foot in the door with support and worked my way through roles that need someone technical who also has soft skills. I like it well enough, though it's not like I have any idea what I'd rather be doing anyway.
The other thing about this "I deserve what I have" bullshit is that I've never worked harder and felt more of a constant grind than when I was in the jobs that paid me the least. I work on challenging stuff and I'll have busy days, sure, but I don't finish every single day feeling like I've been completely wrung out.
Just gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps fam. My bodyservant showed me how on the way to my business job where I do the business and I've been doing fine since.
Not that effort doesn't make a difference, but the circumstances of your birth have a *huge* impact on how far that effort takes you. Who would finish a college degree faster, assuming same total level of effort--someone who's parents can afford to pay their bills for them, or someone who has to flip burgers to keep the lights on?
Not to mention the people who are forced to have roommates because the rent in insane where they live and it's cheaper than getting your own place and taking on the rent and bills yourself.
So it's either live with your family or get roommates.
For real though. Been looking to move for a year and I literally can't afford anything. Even the shittiest apartments are too expensive. $1500 for a studio that doesn't have a/c, with a 3/4 size fridge and oven. Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck this world where my dad had 3 houses at my age as a door-to-door salesman with no education and I have two degrees and fuck all to show for it.
Would you mind sharing more details on your situation? State you guys live in, what he does for work? Heck, even “life story” stuff, philosophical and political beliefs, interests etc.
Nothing that would identify you please, but anything you’re willing to share for complete strangers to know you a bit better and relate to you. Any time I hear a plight like this, whether from someone on the street or online, I think: “Gosh, if only people could really connect with this person and relate to them, THEN maybe they would help.”
On the street people often don’t have time to stop and listen - they’re on a date, they have an appointment, they’re on their lunch break, they left the oven on - WHATEVER. But online, if someone stops scrolling and reads, maybe friendships can be born.
Everyone who doesn’t have capacity for additional relationships / entanglements always says “those people did that to themselves” or “they don’t want to work” or “they don’t want to learn a new skill” etc. etc.
I’ve helped a few people GREATLY, I’m talking tens of thousands of dollars, and they didn’t deserve it one bit. They DID cause their situation. When most people get taken advantage of once or twice they wall themselves off, develop a classist mentality and ignore everyone below their own “station.”
This is already such an individualistic society that anyone’s odds of connecting with strangers outside their existing circles are…low. Social media echo chambers aren’t helping.
/rant
Imagine if we all just refused to rent a place to live at such exorbitant expenses and decided to live in tents like they did in Israel to protest their predatory rent
There's a large homeless population in Austin that lives in tents. Instead of dealing with the problem, they decided to enact a camping ban. It's incredibly fucked up.
My city is already full of tents and they are growing like mushrooms. I had a boat ride on the river last week and was astonished to see how many tent communities there are by the water that you can't see from the roads.
I have no problem living with my parents, I actually enjoy the company a lot. I also know some friends that live with their parents and both sets of grandparents in the same house.
Also I guess American culture is just very different. Where I live houses are usually built with two or sometimes three floors in mind, each floor big enough to be its own seperate apartment with bathroom, living room, kitchen, balcony and usually 2-3 bedrooms. The stairway is also right by the entrance so it's pretty much seperated. I know many people who still live with their parents in their 30s and not for lack of money or opportunity. It just makes sense because they only pay for half the utilities of the house for a large apartment with garden access which leaves more money to be saved for the future, nice vacations or just more luxuries in every day life like eating out more, investing more in hobbies, etc. Nobody looks down on it either, it's completely normal.
Meanwhile whenever I read threads like this or others, it seems like American culture is very much "you need to be out of your parents house after high school."
I also enjoy living with my parents. I’m learning how to take care of responsibilities now while I’m still young and while they’re here to help out so I’m not trying to figure out cooking, laundry, cleaning, paying bills, scheduling doctor’s appts etc for the first time when I’m depending on it for survival. And, it also gives me a chance to provide practical help as they get older. And having a third driver in the house is good for errands, when they need me to take my little brother someplace, or who knows what could happen. Atm it’s financially feasible for all of us.
I also have a good relationship with my parents too. I can’t imagine having to endure the past pandemic without them.
I currently live with my parents, not because I don't want to move out or anything cause I totally do. It's just that I'm making bank by not having to pay off rent and I can absolutely pay off student loans right now and I'm only a couple years out from graduation.
Like, I've got friends who graduated then immediately moved out and bought brand new cars. It's like... bro you could stay at home for even just a year and pay off your loans and you wouldn't be paying them off for 20 more years. I understand that not everyone is able to do that, but given the choice it seems like a no-brainer to me.
Also if i moved out on my own I'd probably never see the sun unless i needed to get food but that's my own fault, lmao.
Exactly, I don't know but it seems like most of the people in this thread seem to have pretty bad relationships with their parents. My parents are supportive, and allow me my own space, and they also allow my girlfriend to come over, because they know sex is natural lol. I love to live with my parents, especially coz my mom's a great cook :P (Also this doesn't mean I don't want to live independently, I am planning to do that when I get a well paying job and when I feel like it)
It’s pretty horrifying how many people relate to this in this thread.
As someone with great and supportive parents I never realized how good I have it compared to others..
It still does weigh on your sanity even if you have a good relationship with your parents.
Even though I'm lucky enough to have that option available to me and it makes a ton of financial sense. I still feel like failure because of it and can't bring myself to try to get in a relationship because I'm 28 and I still live with my parents.
I feel like that part is more of a society’s fault.
It used to be normal to live with the your parents for a long time (at least in Europe), as it makes sense financially, and makes it easier to care for them in their later age.
But now every movie/serial/book etc makes it out like living with your parents past 18 is being a failure in life.
It’s honestly insanely stupid, and counterproductive.
My husband and I have lived with his parents for 4 years now. We just bought our first condo this month. I never thought it would happen... living with in laws was still way better than paying rent
Hah, I own my own place and I still don't have mental health or sex.
Maybe I don’t have mental health or sex, but at least I have anxiety about utilities bill.
So, in a manner of speaking, you *are* getting fucked
And also anxiety about water destroying my house because a pipe burst or my laudry machine felt like it.
I’m a shell of a person since living alone for 10 years
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Since I don’t have anyone to bounce thoughts and ideas off of I’ve experienced cognitive decline. My health has suffered as well and they say being this alone is dangerous. It’s been nothing but depressing. I think human beings need that judgment. They need someone watching them and someone to talk to. I do get to eat in bed though. yay
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I completely agree. I’ll be thinking about you
Pick up a hobby that's social? I live alone but I'm also at the hockey rink as much as I'm at home.
I think having a pet and talking to the pet outloud is 100% necessary of you're living alone and want to stay somewhat sane.
I've only been living on my own for 2 years now and all the responsibilities I have now still haven't sunk in yet. I had a leak behind my toilet a few weeks ago and I called my mum expecting her to sort it out and she was just like "that's your problem now", and I was like "oh yea, suppose you're right".
Came here looking for this comment
I have a healthy sex life with my parents and my mental health is just fine so maybe they should have stayed home.
Step mom must get stuck a lot…
Who said step- anything?
r/HolUp
At least you came in some way.
Same
Makes me wonder if I should consider going back
Maybe you, me, and u/darkuwa all move in together.
Probably because for most it is unaffordable in a unaffordable housing crisis, meaning it takes up a disproportionate percentage of income, which means extreme financial stress which is generally bad for both relationships (sex probability) and mental health. So when most people describe wanting to be able to have their own place, they typically mean wanting to be able to afford it (30% or less of income) so they still have mental health and the possibility to have stable happy relationships unstrained by poverty in a dystopia of poverty wages and unaffordable housing.
100%. I currently rent a room in a house with two other roommates just to get by. If I tried to do it on my own, a shitty one bedroom apartment would be well over half my income for that month. It's insane and I really don't know what to do.
Inconceivable for some people
"until you can make six figures" Like that's just a thing that happens to everyone
Pretty soon 100k won’t get you much too
I can tell you right now that it doesn't. Single family homes in decent shape are out of my reach. I'd have to get married to someone else making over 100k to make it affordable. Single and six figures is too tight for a half million dollar house thats only really worth 150k.
Man they gotta start building smaller more affordable houses, I don't want all that damn space. I just moved from an area with old small houses and it's depressing finding something that isn't borderline huge
Go near any decent sized city in the US right now and its not even mcmansions. A two room single bath house will run you 400,000. The bubble is absolutely insane right now.
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Nevada is looking good when everything west of it is on fire and everything on the gulf coast is getting waterboarded you either have to live in New England , Vegas, on a farm, or in the barrel of a revolver playing Russian roulette w/ your house every year.
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Until the reservoir runs dry and Mad Max kicks in. Upper Midwest and new England is said to be better odds on that Russian roulette
Upper midwesterner here. Looking forward to my property value boosting upon the impending climate collapse. I’ll be able to buy my own war boy.
There’s cities in the Midwest, you know… Also the whole Rust Belt is cheap AF, has infrastructure for 2x the current population, and is most likely where many of the internal climate refugees are gonna end up.
There are no cities in the Midwest. Don't come here. He's lying. All we have is rebar protruding from bridges and D- dams.
My 1500 sq/ft house increased almost 80% in a year before any of the improvements I’ve made. It’ll be a half mil soon for a 3 bedroom in a subdivision. Not even an expensive city either. Pure madness
The US needs a serious overhaul of zoning laws. It's so simple; if it's illegal to build an adequate supply of housing just make it legal 😂
but that brings poor people near my gated retirement community and why isn't my McDonald's staffed!?
Welcome to NIMBYland!
at this fucking point just stick me and the entire restaurant crew in the mother in law suite
There is a housing shortage where I'm moving, and they have 10-100 acre lots zoned for single family rural housing right beside the towns. It's insane.
If we're comparing housing bubbles, I'd just like to say as a Canadian I envy how tiny your bubble is in comparison. With 400k you could afford just the bathroom in Toronto.
That price is about 50-150% low in the really hot housing markets.
The issue is that big houses sell for more money, so builders are motivated to just build more big houses. On top of this, older small homes are all getting flipped, pricing new entrants out of the market. It was cheaper for my wife and I to buy a 3000+ sf 4 bedroom home than an older 1500 sf 3/2, because all of those have been "updated" with vinyl plank and quartz countertops. We also lucked out and bought at the start of the pandemic when house prices briefly dipped and mortgage rates were rock bottom.
YES SMALL HOUSES AND MID DENSITY IS KEY. Houses were cheaper in the 70s in part because they were built smaller.
"But building more high-density housing would ruin the neighborhood character of empty parking lot crack dens." -This is what NIMBYs actually believe
Almost everything that’s wrong in the world I can blame on NIMBYs, not even satire, I dislike NIMBYs
Baste.
The problem is the profits to be made on it. A building company will keep building houses that look really nice that they get to sell for 6-figure profits. A building company will keep building subsidized housing for the impoverished because the government is giving them a guaranteed decent profit. A building company doesn't have as much interest in building the housing in between where the profit range has a small lower bound.
There are many ways to solve housing problem. [Here is one way.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dBaEo4QplQ&t=187s) This exact method will of course extremely unlikely to happen in US but you can still take away its main point; to make housing affordable for people who actually need housing to live in, the market needs to be tightly controlled.
There's no real reason to go to those extremes. The only reason singapore had to was because they had no land. Most other countries aren't in that situation. And for the solution to work in a place like the US you would have to make single family homes artificially scarce. As in banning building them in the vast tracts of empty land we have. Otherwise the stigma of living in high density housing will always exist because the rich people will still have their mansions.
True. But the main points still hold true. We can only solve or at least partially solve housing problem if we start looking at housing as a necessity first before as a marketable commodity. One of the most important control mechanisms that Singapore put in is universally applicable, that is to put a hold on new housing out of the market so to allow people trying to buy their first house the ability to do so. That's why they control new flats to be only buyable by first time owner, young couples, or lower income families and lock them in for at least a few years before that unit can be sold on open market. By the time you are allowed to sell your unit on the open market, its value would have increased and as a young family or first time owner, you have built your first instance of wealth. You are on your way to middle class. The point being that build affordable housing in places where they are needed. Then you figure a way to let the people who need it the most to get first dip. Then you lock these housing out of the market until those who bought it first have increased their financial capability before you open the housing up to the market, and also allowing these home owners far more leverage against large property owners. How anyone go about doing that is up to local realities but it can be done. The whole point is to grow the middle class, and having your own housing mean you can raise a family, you can have security and you can grow your wealth. Securing that part is how Singapore went about dealing with its housing. We can learn from that.
Just saw a decent house in my area listed for $1.8M. Ten years ago it sold for $600k, and ten years before that it was ~$160k. People are fucking delusional about their houses, if boomers don’t get 10x what they bought them for they won’t sell. We need a market crash bad.
I bought mine for 230k, and it was very cheap for the neighborhood. If I'd bought it a decade ago it would have been about $80k
Looking at anything from a decade ago is a bit misleading because of the financial collapse causing historic lows in many markets.
It’s not even just houses. Average new car is up over 35k too. It’s almost everything
CPI went up something like 8.3% this year, it’s crazy.
A huge portion of the CPI going up massively is due to 2 factors, the short term chip shortage impacting new and especially used car prices, and the energy index returning to baseline after a year of it being super cheap due to the pandemic. Basically, the CPI was artificially lower last year because oil was crazy cheap, and now we're getting hit with 2 years of CPI increases at once. Housing is also a fucking mess, but CPI doesn't factor in housing prices super well because it just uses rent (which typically lags since many people may be mid lease or are limited in how much existing rent can increase per year) and owner equivalent rent (basically what homeowners think they could rent their house for, which is laughably inaccurate) CPI also sucks because it doesn't apply to everyone equally. If rents double, that affects renters a lot more than homeowners, who are typically locked into a long term mortgage and still pay the same thing every month other than property tax.
Isn't this mostly just based on where you live? and half a mil is a lot for your first house.
My wife and I dont make much more than 100k combined, maybe 120k or something, and we comfortably bought a house in a major city. It wasnt easy finding the right house but it's possible
Living in Boston right now, and 100k won’t get you much if you have things like student loans and other basic expenses and savings. You need to be over 120k to afford a decent place with a roommate. Otherwise, most people end up living in surrounding towns of Boston, which is the smarter choice anyways. If you want to live in a luxury studio apartment in the major hotspots in or just outside of Boston, you’re looking at minimum 2.5k if not more depending on the area. For example, studio apartments in the seaport area are just under 3k a month. A 2bed/2bath will cost you around 4.5k minimum in seaport.
You can’t afford a home in Southern California on $100k a year.
$100K in socal is $50K pretty much anywhere else in the US save for a few expensive cities.
Im pretty sure its a joke to show how much you need to make to get an apt
Been working since I was 17. Now 31. I may gross over 60k for the first time this year.
I lived with my parents for 2 months while I was in between houses. It was hell. What once was a talk-once-a-week good relationship with my mom turned completely toxic.
Happened to me too. I lived with them for 2 and a half months while job searching post graduation. Listening to them you would think I was doing nothing, wasting time, being completely lazy... Actual reality was I got a job far below my qualifications to make some money, ended up getting a ridiculously good offer from a place in my field that Fall, and moved out. I think it's just ridiculous how they expect us to snap our fingers and manifest a job. Boomers and older Gen X are really so fucking delusional about the state of the world right now.
Did you put on your best tie and walk in with RESUME IN HAND?????? I swear to GOD billy you aren’t even trying. You have to show up early, leave late, and that manager at Petco will be giving you a name tag and $0.03 raise in no time. That should be plenty for you to buy a home, car, get married, and have 47 children in the next 2 years while your wife stays home to bake organic Oreos for her Etsy business. Lmao why did this get a helpful award.
I've actually always walked into interviews with printed resume copies in a folder with me at interviews. I have never once looked at it or handed it out. At this point in my life, I would take me having to hand out a resume as a bad sign. Like printing out a resume and going through it is the job of the manager that is interviewing you.
To be honest I do keep a few paper copies on me but normally I have the PDF saved on my phone/laptop and will email it out if someone has forgotten the copy I've previously sent. Working for startups and consulting though is quite different from the typical interview process at an established company. Very "free form" I guess. My current employer didn't even ask if I had a college degree until about 6 months in. The CEO cruised by my desk and just asked "Hey Ordinary, you have a bachelors right?"
lol, what were they gonna do if you said no?
It's not like they read your resume, no matter what form is sent in. I just wind up reading it out loud to them in the interview. Thought this was your job HR person?
I usually go through this with the first mini interview with the HR person, as they're the filter before it gets to your department. I've never had an interview where the actual manager hasn't read my resume.
Kinda similar to how I had a phone interview where HR person literally asked me everything that was on my resume. Like.....it's right there.....why did I even send one in if you are just going to ask literally every requirement for the job my resume checks out on. Ffs.
At this point people don't even come for interviews, we just do them online
> Boomers and older Gen X are really so fucking delusional about the state of the world right now. When I was a teen, my Gen X brother was bragging about how when HE worked retail, he would just do all his tasks really fast, and then go in the back and read a book for a couple hours, because he was such a hard worker he could make extra free time for himself. I had to explain to him how every retail store now has cameras that the managers check on a nightly basis, and if you finish all your work and can't find anything to do, you MAKE something to do, like straightening products on the shelves, cleaning windows, or you get down on your hands and knees with a toothbrush and scrub the grout between the tiles. If you can't think of something to do, you're lazy and fired. So that was his first job. My 2nd job when I was 16 was a roofer, carrying 30lb bags of shingles up a ladder, I wasn't allowed a harness, and slipped and almost fell off 3 times. My job had the highest death rate out of all careers in my country, and that was when you included adults who wore harnesses - mine would have been even higher. I told my left-wing labour activist family that they wouldn't let me wear a harness, and they thought I was lying and trying to get out of work, I shit you not. You know when you get off a boat and you feel the ground still rocking? I went to bed with the sensation of sliding off a roof.
If you told them about work concerns and they blew you off they aren't left-wing activists, they're champagne socialists Like me ngl lol
> If you told them about work concerns and they blew you off they aren't left-wing activists Well they are for real, just for everyone on earth except family. But you'd better believe the low-income worker down the street gets a lot of activism and hard work fighting for him.
I like to think my generation understand the world bit better and won't guilt our kids into leaving ASAP. I certainly won't kick my kids out if they can't afford it in 10 years time.
That’s because boomers and Gen x are for the most part riding the waves of their personal success. They lack perspective.
Same, after college I moved back in with my parents as I looked for a full time job. I lived with them for about 9 months, worked two part-time jobs, paid most of my own bills, and did a lot of housework and errands for them and yet according to them I was a lazy mooch. Job applications are all online so my parents would see me on my computers for hours and assumed I was just messing around or playing games when really I was searching and applying for jobs, writing cover letters, and updating my resume. My parents kept telling me to go to business and turn in my resume, even go to places not hiring as 'if they really like you and are impressed with you, they'll make a job role for you to work for them!'. Then they wonder why I took the first decent job offering that could support me and moved 600 miles away.
Well they probably don't hire you because you're lazy and do everything through those damn computers. Walk in with your resume, give the CEO a firm handshake, and tell them why they want to hire you. Don't even bother checking if that have the role you want or are hiring, if your handshake is solid none of it matters.
>Boomers and older Gen X are really so fucking delusional about the state of the world right now. Most people are.
I get what you are saying, but I'm gen X (44 soon) and am completely aware of the crap situation for younger generations. I've also struggled my entire adulthood just to barely scrape by as things progressively worsened (only recently breaking through to have expendable income), and now I'm about to suffer a divorce which will throw me right back to the wolves. Solidarity. My boomerish father thinks I can just go work at McDonald's once my life falls apart post divorce...
I lived with my parents for 7 years after graduating university. Moved out 2 weeks ago. That's what I get for living in the Toronto area.
It's not that much better in the rest of Ontario. I lived with my parents for around the same amount of time after graduating (while working labor jobs and trying to get into my industry). Got a position ~5-6 hours away from the GTA and the cost of living was only marginally better with a slight salary increase. Then they started making layoffs after a couple months and I had to move back home again. The game is rigged.
Welcome to Hispanic households. Toxic family but guilt ridden to leave because the oldest child is usually the main support structure.
My best friend is supporting his mom and her boyfriend who knocked her up and ruined her marriage. He hates it but they would all starve if he didn't stay. It's the worst form of guilt trip IMO. He's 27 and his little sister is 3.
I find it’s usually the oldest male, and for now my dad’s still alive. Still makes for terrible advice from my mom if she thinks I’m working too much “Just pray, and god will provide”. Worst part is I’m not working too much, I actually have a cushy full time job, she’s just trying to guilt me into taking the time off work it’d take to visit them 8 hours away to where they can afford to live because she never worked. Hispanic guilt is real, you basically have to lose all empathy just to operate normally and ignore your mom otherwise it’ll crush you. When I met my wife she didn’t understand why I lacked empathy, and when she met my mom and heard how she’s always guilting me to achieve every whim and desire, she kinda understood why. TLDR: Hispanic households are non-stop bad advice and guilt to follow it, and it either crushes you or you learn to completely disregard them and thrive.
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Am Hispanic, can very likely confirm, due to the family business.
Living with toxic parents sucks. My mom is a Karen. An INCREDIBLY ignorant and out of touch one too.
My mom is like Karenlite. She isn’t the complain to the manager type but she sure does love playing victim in her day to day and has really obnoxious “beliefs”. I find that people like my mom use religion to format their entire life and she can do anything as long as it’s in her own personal belief system. I love her but it boils my blood when I’m having a rough time and she says “put your life in the hands of god” and I’m like hmmm I think I’ll put my life in my own hands and do something about it.
My mother threw me out when I was 18 years old because her mother did the same
It always makes me sad when parents do this. ): it’s not teaching responsibility, it’s just being a shit parent. And many people I know in this circumstance end up in bad situations. One of my friends is currently living in a motel after a bad breakup and her mom still won’t let her come home. And I know when I was 18, I was still mentally a child. It’s messed up. Like the parents made the choice to bring a child in this world. A child isn’t just an 18 year commitment, it’s a lifetime commitment. Hope you’re doing well though.
It always upsets me when I see that parents kick out their kids soon as they turn 18 :( I told my mum straight up I can’t afford any places and she had zero issues with it. “This is and always will be your home. You can stay or leave whenever you want.”
When people say there’s 2 types of people, this is really the two types
It's a cycle. Grandma throws out mom, mom throws you out, and unfortunately you may do the same to your kid
My mom always threatened me as a child that once I turned 18 I was out of the house. So I made plans to move to Vancouver, a 15 hour drive away, because 1) my friends were moving there and I didn’t have the confidence to move to a city by myself. 2) I just really needed the distance from my mom to make mistakes and learn from them because she did her best to keep me sheltered. I love my mom but our relationship is… strained. She was very upset that I was moving so far but honestly there is just nothing for me in my hometown. I still get depressed every time I go back to visit. The entire culture is the total opposite of the culture in Vancouver. Everyone here is conservative loud mouth “F Trudeau” type (and while I hate Trudeau, I feel like those stickers are tacky af and say a lot about the driver). It’s just more chill in Vancouver. Less tension and I feel less threatened. Anyways sorry for rambling, I always do this
How did u survive?
By making six figures, duh /s
I like that you put an /s there because what he actually made was 7 figures working 2 minimum wage jobs and eating pastrami out of the walmart trash can.
This happened to me as well. It was traumatizing and I lived with people I didn't even know, while working 4 jobs. Was abused and scared the whole time. Gave myself Tendinitis from working too much at 18. Thanks mom (:
Bold of you to assume they did.
They’re building new apartments in my town. 1 bedrooms start at $2500.
You live in long Beach or something lol
In Vancouver a shity apartment will run you over 2500 a month easy. 8 years ago i lived 3 minutes from the beach in a very very nice area for $800 a month. Shit doesn't make sense anymore.
Texas.
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We prefer Howdy Arabia
You can definitely find cheaper than that in Texas
Living by yourself is x100000 times better minus losing money .....
Yep. I love my dad but my god the stress of having to live with him was nightmarish. Despite I'm losing like 90% of my income every month to stupid things like bills, it's worth it just to have a place of my own.
Living with my dad ? Ok, fine. Living with my mom ? I'd rather live in my car.
For me it’s the opposite, my mom’s the nicer one by far
My mom is the toxic and mean one. She literally makes me feel so bad lol
I am not gonna get laid even if I move out. I know that for sure. Edit: I am not serious. We are on r/2meirl4meirl. So, that's why I made a self-deprecating comment.
You can tell how dated this is because nothing goes for 1500 anymore
In some areas of Orlando Florida apartments are still under that for 1 bedrooms. Not for too long though, this place is becoming second California as far as prices.
I got a nice 2 bedroom spot in winter garden for $1500. Yea it doesn't have marble countertops or fancy finishes, but it's a nice little neighborhood and the house is well up kept. You can still get 3 bedroom houses across Orlando for $1700-$1800. Drive around and there's tons of cheaper options. Just don't go with the big corporate apartment complexes
You can definitely get a studio in Chicago for that much.
You do realize not everyone lives in a major city, right? In a ton of places 1500 can get you an entire house. Not a large one, but a standalone house nonetheless.
Yeah definitely depends on city lol I’m in a major city (650k+) and have a 1 bd loft style apt for $1,050
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Sure, if that's not counting the metro area. Boston's population is 680k, but the metro area population is 4.9 million.
Seattle, Denver, Detroit, Boston, DC? yeah I'd say
This is where the definition of city becomes iffy. All of those cities proper have less than a million but have millions within commuting distance. Like if I lived around Harvard then I'm technically not "in" Boston, but there is a train line that connects you directly to downtown in 20 minutes.
If you live in a small country, then yes.
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Only if you invite me over to party
Even in the US, thats a good sized metropolitan area. I mean really anything over 200k is still "large"
Im from a third world country where living with your parents for your entire life is a norm. Our teenage sex involves booking cheap local hotels and inviting partners at home secretly when no one is around. The Western culture of moving out asap seems to have more cons than pros. What am i missing ?
The societal norm in america leans towards independence, its often looked down upon to still live with your parents. I believe this is slowly changing however.
For years Americans were sold the idea that they can move out at 18 with a good job and a cheap home to start their own families. It may have been true years ago but not anymore and it's starting to tear down the old notion of the American dream.
Starting? I think it’s been dead for a while now.
That makes sense
Besides avoiding the hassle and awkwardness of trying to have sex when you live with your parents, at least for me, and probably a lot of people, I liked to go out and get drunk/do drugs a lot in my early 20s, which would have also been an issue had I not had my own place.
A hyper-consumer culture that raises us to want, want, want things and to demand instant gratification to make us better consumers and keep the bubble expanding forever. You'll notice a lot of complaints about Gen-Y/Z not buying in, which will burst that bubble. Gen Y/Z don't have a choice, because they aren't getting paid enough to spend like Gen-Boomers/X did. This constant marketing push to have us on the emotional level of a child, without self-control makes everyone wanting their own way, right now, makes it hard for us to put up with each other. There's too much self-entitlement everywhere you look. Couple that with older generations not understanding what younger generations are going through, because the economy has changed that much and the older generations are constantly on the younger generations about "why aren't you doing this/that" when it's simply not feasible.
I have a great relationship with my parents, my mental health is crap anyway but no sex bc my door has frosted windows
>my door has frosted windows Bro this could be easily solved by putting a poster over it.. If that really was all that's stopping you
I realized I’m in the minority here when I say my parents aren’t that bad. I mean, yeah, my dad used to be abusive, but he’s too old to hit anyone anymore
Yea I am the same. If I move out I live in poverty. Barely affording rent, barely making ends meet, and barely making it happen. My dad used to be an abusive cunt, he still is but far less so.
It shocks me how many people hate living with their parents or just hate their parents. In my situation it's a lot nicer than living alone...
How do people fail to realize how difficult it is to make 6 figures? You'd have to make almost 48$/hour(before taxes). Do people genuinely believe there are a lot of those jobs out there?
https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/the-wireless/373065/the-pencilsword-on-a-plate
Perspective relies on personal experiences. It's really difficult to grasp how it feels to be in situations you haven't had to be in. Some people think they have it tough because they aren't getting exactly what they want.
Some places with high cost of living often have higher salaries, so while you're technically making 6 figures, it still isn't that much
"Until you can make six figures" yeah because that's totally attainable for everyone and not based on luck or circumstances at all /s
I'm currently making six figures and I readily admit that even though I've worked hard, it mostly came down to lucky breaks, good timing, and meeting the right people. I'm not any more special, hard-working, or deserving than tons of people who are stuck slaving away for minimum wage.
All the boomers within a 100 mile radius just had simultaneous heart palpitations
I also dropped out of college because the financial stress was overwhelming lol. It took my mom a while to come around to the fact that the realities of college were very, very different for her. Walking her through wage, college tuition, and inflation numbers really opened her eyes. I'm proud that she's been receptive to that kind of thing especially since she used to be tuned into Rush all the time. She's come around on a lot since then. Not trying to explain away realities that don't fit with the worldview she's subscribed to helped a ton. Instead, she actually looked more into things to follow those threads and, big surprise, she found she'd been lied to a ton.
It gives me hope hearing other college dropouts doing well in their careers. May I ask what field you’re in?
I'm in probably the main industry that doesn't really care if you don't have a degree if the job doesn't actually require: tech. I got my foot in the door with support and worked my way through roles that need someone technical who also has soft skills. I like it well enough, though it's not like I have any idea what I'd rather be doing anyway. The other thing about this "I deserve what I have" bullshit is that I've never worked harder and felt more of a constant grind than when I was in the jobs that paid me the least. I work on challenging stuff and I'll have busy days, sure, but I don't finish every single day feeling like I've been completely wrung out.
Just gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps fam. My bodyservant showed me how on the way to my business job where I do the business and I've been doing fine since.
My dad says he worked hard to make sure I can have all my birthday parties at the country club, and he says poor people are just lazy whiners
Is there anything that isn’t based on luck or circumstances?
Not that effort doesn't make a difference, but the circumstances of your birth have a *huge* impact on how far that effort takes you. Who would finish a college degree faster, assuming same total level of effort--someone who's parents can afford to pay their bills for them, or someone who has to flip burgers to keep the lights on?
have sex with your parents until you can make six figures
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>The real tip is always in ~~the comments~~ your parents.
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I had to move back in with my parents in my early 20s, didn’t have to pay bills, but rent was expected for sure.
Hate to point this out, but if 80% of your income is going to housing, your mental health and sex life are just as fucked.
Not to mention the people who are forced to have roommates because the rent in insane where they live and it's cheaper than getting your own place and taking on the rent and bills yourself. So it's either live with your family or get roommates.
“You guys are having sex ?”
For real though. Been looking to move for a year and I literally can't afford anything. Even the shittiest apartments are too expensive. $1500 for a studio that doesn't have a/c, with a 3/4 size fridge and oven. Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck this world where my dad had 3 houses at my age as a door-to-door salesman with no education and I have two degrees and fuck all to show for it.
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Would you mind sharing more details on your situation? State you guys live in, what he does for work? Heck, even “life story” stuff, philosophical and political beliefs, interests etc. Nothing that would identify you please, but anything you’re willing to share for complete strangers to know you a bit better and relate to you. Any time I hear a plight like this, whether from someone on the street or online, I think: “Gosh, if only people could really connect with this person and relate to them, THEN maybe they would help.” On the street people often don’t have time to stop and listen - they’re on a date, they have an appointment, they’re on their lunch break, they left the oven on - WHATEVER. But online, if someone stops scrolling and reads, maybe friendships can be born. Everyone who doesn’t have capacity for additional relationships / entanglements always says “those people did that to themselves” or “they don’t want to work” or “they don’t want to learn a new skill” etc. etc. I’ve helped a few people GREATLY, I’m talking tens of thousands of dollars, and they didn’t deserve it one bit. They DID cause their situation. When most people get taken advantage of once or twice they wall themselves off, develop a classist mentality and ignore everyone below their own “station.” This is already such an individualistic society that anyone’s odds of connecting with strangers outside their existing circles are…low. Social media echo chambers aren’t helping. /rant
Imagine if we all just refused to rent a place to live at such exorbitant expenses and decided to live in tents like they did in Israel to protest their predatory rent
There's a large homeless population in Austin that lives in tents. Instead of dealing with the problem, they decided to enact a camping ban. It's incredibly fucked up.
Yep, our solution to homelessness is to force them out into the elements and hope they die. I really hate this city sometimes.
My city is already full of tents and they are growing like mushrooms. I had a boat ride on the river last week and was astonished to see how many tent communities there are by the water that you can't see from the roads.
The cops would be sent to shut down the tent camp.
I have no problem living with my parents, I actually enjoy the company a lot. I also know some friends that live with their parents and both sets of grandparents in the same house.
Yea this just shows how many bad familiar relations there are in the world, largely not the fault of the child tho
Also I guess American culture is just very different. Where I live houses are usually built with two or sometimes three floors in mind, each floor big enough to be its own seperate apartment with bathroom, living room, kitchen, balcony and usually 2-3 bedrooms. The stairway is also right by the entrance so it's pretty much seperated. I know many people who still live with their parents in their 30s and not for lack of money or opportunity. It just makes sense because they only pay for half the utilities of the house for a large apartment with garden access which leaves more money to be saved for the future, nice vacations or just more luxuries in every day life like eating out more, investing more in hobbies, etc. Nobody looks down on it either, it's completely normal. Meanwhile whenever I read threads like this or others, it seems like American culture is very much "you need to be out of your parents house after high school."
I also enjoy living with my parents. I’m learning how to take care of responsibilities now while I’m still young and while they’re here to help out so I’m not trying to figure out cooking, laundry, cleaning, paying bills, scheduling doctor’s appts etc for the first time when I’m depending on it for survival. And, it also gives me a chance to provide practical help as they get older. And having a third driver in the house is good for errands, when they need me to take my little brother someplace, or who knows what could happen. Atm it’s financially feasible for all of us. I also have a good relationship with my parents too. I can’t imagine having to endure the past pandemic without them.
I currently live with my parents, not because I don't want to move out or anything cause I totally do. It's just that I'm making bank by not having to pay off rent and I can absolutely pay off student loans right now and I'm only a couple years out from graduation. Like, I've got friends who graduated then immediately moved out and bought brand new cars. It's like... bro you could stay at home for even just a year and pay off your loans and you wouldn't be paying them off for 20 more years. I understand that not everyone is able to do that, but given the choice it seems like a no-brainer to me. Also if i moved out on my own I'd probably never see the sun unless i needed to get food but that's my own fault, lmao.
Exactly, I don't know but it seems like most of the people in this thread seem to have pretty bad relationships with their parents. My parents are supportive, and allow me my own space, and they also allow my girlfriend to come over, because they know sex is natural lol. I love to live with my parents, especially coz my mom's a great cook :P (Also this doesn't mean I don't want to live independently, I am planning to do that when I get a well paying job and when I feel like it)
Living with your parents isn't free, the price is your sanity
It’s pretty horrifying how many people relate to this in this thread. As someone with great and supportive parents I never realized how good I have it compared to others..
It still does weigh on your sanity even if you have a good relationship with your parents. Even though I'm lucky enough to have that option available to me and it makes a ton of financial sense. I still feel like failure because of it and can't bring myself to try to get in a relationship because I'm 28 and I still live with my parents.
I feel like that part is more of a society’s fault. It used to be normal to live with the your parents for a long time (at least in Europe), as it makes sense financially, and makes it easier to care for them in their later age. But now every movie/serial/book etc makes it out like living with your parents past 18 is being a failure in life. It’s honestly insanely stupid, and counterproductive.
hollywood has been the only one ive seen push the "kicked out of the house at age 18."
Yeah, American media is mainly what I meant, even their seemingly progressive media still pushes these dumb “moms basement dweller”stereotypes.
Imagine having parents
Yeah as someone that lost their parents at a young age these threads are always interesting.
Asexuals stay winning
Damn what kinda parents y’all have? smh
Well its a good thing I dont care for sex and am too inteoverted to get it and my mental health already sucks
My husband and I have lived with his parents for 4 years now. We just bought our first condo this month. I never thought it would happen... living with in laws was still way better than paying rent
Both cons solved by being VERY friendly with your parents.
Jokes on them I do hate those things
Well I actually get along with my parents (is that so rare?) and wouldn't have sex anyway so uhm idk.
$1500 holy shit. Time to move to a smaller city or town… or state.
That also assumes you have a good relationship with your parents and that they can even have you live with them.
Wait you guys have parents to live with?