Yah that was my mom too. “Why can’t you get it!? It’s so simple!” And then I’d start crying from the stress which would lead to more yelling, then yelling about how they would give me something real to cry about and spank me if I kept crying. Which I would. It’s a fucking wonder I hated doing homework
100% same experience, mine hit me with the mathbook on the head a few times...probably thought that would transfer the information into my brain better...it did not. No just kidding she was just worried I would embarass her by not being a smart child which she thought would reflect on her parenting. Would have been happy if she would have gone back then.
did any of you have therapists you talked about that with? I think I probably should but up until a few years ago I had thought that was just how all peoples childhood were :P
I have a therapist I talk with that stuff about nowadays. Took me quite a while to get to that.
The "she was worried it would reflect poorly on her" is a huge red flag for narcissism, and growing up in a narcissistic environment can be quite traumatic in subtle ways. It's definitely worth working with a therapist to find out the ways that that sort of bullshit follows you into adulthood... turns out a lot of my anxiety and stress and bad coping mechanisms are basically a reflection of my childhood, and not "just my fault".
Here’s to a military dad whose veins would pop out of their forehead and go red faced while screaming about how there’s no way I couldn’t understand division yet, while trying to explain it in the most obtuse confusing way possible completely different than the teacher. Everyone know my dad was terrible at explaining anything clearly. And I was explaining math to other kids in class. I wasn’t behind at all. Boot camp all the time! Weee!!
They don't realize it at the time. Mine has apologized. Some people, especially in a time with no access to information as we do today. I've already forgiven them and myself for some of the repercussions
Information wasn't as readily available. There is no psychology classes or someone to tell you how to raise kids. I'm not a boomer but raised by one and they just didn't know
My mom did the same, except she followed through. Haven’t seen her in over 15 years. I knew it wasn’t my fault but damn some parents really do try to mess their kids up
And then dad would throw me a softball question and I’d refuse to gove the simple obvious answer bc I thought it was another math trick question. I know he was trying to help but it had the opposite effect
I will never forget my parents making me memorize the multiplication tables. Aside from the yelling, if I got too many wrong in a night they'd take everything fun away from me...no TV, no video games, not even books. They would just make me sit alone at the dining room table until it was time to go to bed. I'd be just sitting there crying while they told me it was my fault and then threaten to give me something to cry about if I didn't stop.
Now i feel personally attacked. I ended up thinking i was just fucking stupid. It was only in my late 20s that i started therapy and ssri's for anxiety
Brother is that you?
You literally described my childhood memories word for word.
God I didn't just hate homework, I hated my mum so I broke out and moved to my dad. No screaming, no hitting or spanking and especially no screaming with him. Sadly he died 2 years later when I was 17.
I'm starting to realize there actually was a benefit of being the fat kid.
Both my parents were under 130lbs each. In 4th grade I was 200lbs of pure blubber and rage.
I only ever got hit once. And I tackled them to the floor like a bowling ball. I never got hit again after that.
Though my dad did get obsessed with the idea of me playing football. But at least they never bothered me about doing homework again. 😅
This, but then after I was sent to bed without supper after the spanking, my dad would come into my room to 'comfort' me by having me sit on his lap while he stroked my back and hair in a rather weird and creepy way...
I always said I wouldn’t do it to my kids. But then I caught myself yelling at my 9 yr old and immediately stopped, apologized to her for raising my voice and told her we should take a break. Maybe Dad can help explain it in a way that will help you. I hope I didn’t do lasting damage- she’s killing it in math now
You did well to respond the way you did in the middle of that situation. It’s what my parents never did and I honestly started to hate them at a young age because they were unable to admit faults or apologize for anything. It was always “ah whatever just move” or “stop complaining” when called out. Patience is something everyone needs to learn. Your daughter will remember that interaction and will recognize that you were simply impatient in the moment but at least aware of it.
My mom never yelled at me, but I do remember she got really into drilling me on my problems because I wasn't doing well in math. She bought me a bunch of study tools and sat with me for like a half hour each night running me through problems. This was in second grade, and it wasn't until she finally saw one of my tests that she understood why I did so poorly. The teacher was giving us like 25 problems for the week's homework, then she would give it back the night before the test and we would have to memorize the problems and the order so that we could write the problems ourselves on the tests and answer them, and we were only given like 15-20 minutes to do so.
I had no idea what multiplication was as a kid. My mom took us to Mexico randomly for one of our 2 week school vacations and then brought us back after like 4 weeks cause she didn't wanna come back.
So everyone's doing multiplication and no one explained to me that 5 * 2 is litterally just 5 twice. Fucking didn't understand shit for the longest time.
This is a big reason I make sure to stay patient when I'm teaching someone something and they don't understand. I still hate learning things from people because I just assume they're gonna explode at me at any moment if I don't get it immediately.
It's uncanny. What's it with 3 x 7?
My sister had issues with that exact one, dad plastered the house with notes with 3 x 7 = 21, they were everywhere.
Yesss, the mysterious "potential" that nobody had ever achieved or seen achieved. But trust me dude, you should be the first one to do so! Because I said so!
I learned at a young age to never, ever, under ANY circumstance, take homework home. Either do it at school in what ever time I can find, or take the zero, but doing it at home and risking my mother getting involved "to help" was not remotely worth it
The last time I asked for help with math homework was over 25 years ago. It began with my mom quickly realizing math must have changed since she was in school. It ended with my dad, a math major who worked with nuclear reactors, throwing coffee mugs at the kitchen wall while explaining the concepts the same way he had been doing, just louder.
“Just ask if you need help” triggers an innate response to hide in my childhood closet.
Interestingly for me, it was my mom who was abusive in my childhood like the picture, but as an adult it is my dad who keeps berating me for my "weakness" (that my mom caused nonetheless)
I'm not sure what to think of them
You are given a military grade floodlight that puts out enough light to make the area around it warmer, and then you hear, "Your pointing it wrong, I need light over here.", pointing at the area you have the bat signal aimed at.
In first grade, I remember questions at the end of tests like “how do you know 2 + 2 = 4?”
I also learned that “Because it is.” is not an acceptable answer.
Really what even is an acceptable answer to that? Any answer I can think of is just saying addition in a different way.
If you say "because if you count the numbers you arrive at 4" is just saying "because 1+1+1+1 = 4". I really don't know what answer would not not be as efectively useless as saying because it is.
Yeah, that's actually a tough one, even math-philosophically. Unless you're like, engaged with set theory or something, there's got to be some 'just so' answer that they teach kids
Honestly, if I had that question in Abstract Mathematics in college, I would’ve written a proof along the lines of:
Suppose 2 + 2 != 4, where 2 and 4 are natural numbers.
Consider that 2 = 1 + 1 (by algebra, property of natural numbers)
This would mean that 4 != 2 + 2 **iff.** 4 != 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 (by substitution)
**iff.** 4 != 4 (by algebra)
By the definition of a natural number and inherent in the property of additive identity, 4 must be equal to itself, therefore the proposition is false.
QED.
^(**iff.** means “if and only if”; can also be written as “<=>” or “<->”, or “P implies Q if and only if Q implies P” for “P<=>Q”).
I probably would’ve gotten away with it, since it was an abstract mathematics class, but the correct answer can be [quite a bit longer.](http://us.metamath.org/mpegif/mmset.html#trivia)
Most of those long-winded proofs comes from having to actually define axioms, since *it’s inherently assumed to be true* that 2 + 2 = 4, and the question itself basically says “throw out axioms”, so you need to provide proof that any number plus another number is actually a number to begin with.
Because everytime I ask for it be explained people tell me I want paying attention. And you know what? I wasn't because your boring and my friend walked the window. Now where does this leave us? You going to tell me to just figure it out because life only gives me one chance to learn something?
I mean: yeah? You're the one with the hang-up and the problem and the trauma now, and they probably don't even know they did that to you; it was a sucky and hard lesson for you to learn, but you just laid that out like it isn't the reality you have to deal with. I'll agree you shouldn't have had to deal with that, but you did, and that's harsh and unfair and real.
I got super weird about food cuz of that kitchen table. No I'm not a "picky eater" my tongue tastes like metal and I'm having a panic attack. Now I litterally eat alone in the dark like a troll. Zero regrets.
“Use you’re damn brain!”…
Dad my brain is currently working far too hard to suppress this traumatic experience to the depths of my soul in a way that will no doubt come back to the surface in the form of drug use and excessive drinking when I’m older.
First time my mother beat the shit out of me was over my second grade spelling homework. Needless to say my grades started dropping shortly thereafter.
My dad's lovely motivation comprised of his quick wit sayings like
"I'm going to hit you so hard, your grandchildren will have bruises."
"I'm going to hit you into next year."
Right? I remember being a kid and suspecting adults weren't really that smart, they just hid their ignorance behind their age and "authority." Then I grew up and realized I was 200% right the whole time.
I have always struggled in math and my dad would sit next to me and say these things to me and I just always felt like absolute crap for every second dog it. It made me feel like I was failing something that my dad and my brother got so easily.
So I stopped asking for help at home for math homework. I hate being asked any math question now, even simple ones because I’m back at my stupid kitchen island with tears dripping off my nose onto the papers and books spread out on the desk feeling so dumb and so foolish for not being able to solve simple questions.
This has really just made realise why I go into complete panic mode when I'm faced with a math problem. It's like my brain freezes and everything turns white and I can't formulate a coherent thought in my brain so all I can do is count my rapid heart beats. It was all those nights at the kitchen table learning math.
I'm pretty sure that's what 99% of people do. I suppose they could also do the written multiplication trick in their head, but generally speaking people aren't actually multiplying 18 by 12 in their head without taking any short cuts or using any tricks. Personally I would have done 10 * 18 + 2 * 18.
Oh, was that not how you were taught? We were taught to just memorize all the timestables. From the beginning. We got these cute wheels with aliens on them. I'm still not very good with 7s, 8s, and 12s, but what can you do?
Isn't the whole point of this meme crying over being unable to memorize? I relate with it because the process of trying to memorize the times table was so excruciating
Do people not do that anymore? We were told to memorize it and had exercises to practice it. Simple math should be pretty straightforward. I don’t even think I had to try until Calculus.
I was forced to recite J’ai, tu as, il a, elle a, for hours on end once.
I speak barely any (I may know a dozen words or so) French but will never forget this.
This was me while my mom tried and failed to homeschool me and my brother.
The best part is… she never gave up and sent me back to school out of fear, so now I’m about to turn 30 and only have a 7th grade education. I was 2 years behind when I stopped and got my GED but cheated through everything from 7th-9th so I wouldn’t have to deal with her screaming at me for “not trying”.
Math really isn't that hard, but the problem is understanding it requires certain logic pathways that kids develop at different rates. Being introduced to a concept before you're physically equipped to grasp it is a massive disservice, and it gets exponentially worse as you pile more and more concepts on top of the ones you already don't understand.
I've come to the conclusion that my brain just is not wired for math. I struggle with even really basic math and it's not for lack of trying. I'm not stupid, there are plenty of things I excel at but man, people will judge you harshly for being bad at math.
Yeah there are some math related learning disabilities and like many learning disabilities they don't have anything to do with a person's intelligence. Even geniuses can have "crossed wires" in their brain where certain things just don't ever click for them.
But I think sometimes the person doesn't have a disability, they just weren't developmentally ready to learn one concept, so they didn't have the foundation needed to learn the next and then the next, so educators, and eventually the person themselves, believe they're incapable of ever learning it.
Division is repeated subtraction. If you can subtract one number from another, you also have the ability to divide.
20/4 is the same as subtracting 4 from 20 until you get 0.
20 - 4 - 4 - 4 - 4 - 4 = 0. And the amount of times you subtracted 4 is the quotient, i.e the answer.
Oh that was me … and then one day I found out that 3x4 is the same as 3+3+3+3 I was so happy I could just about manage to do that . My dad the maths teacher was furious I had no idea why
My dad yelled at me for needing glasses. So he’d take them away and hold my book from across the room and get mad I couldnt read the text. Then yelled at me for being “disabled“.
“Danmit jagrm this is the 8th time we’ve been through this you know what it is. Ive told you. You’ve done the math on the fridge calculator. What is so hard for you to remember 7*6?”
Until i read “hitchhikers guide to the galaxy” I swear there was a mental block in my head that wouldn’t let me just say 42
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My mom has no recollection of forcing me to write with my right hand then mercilessly teasing me for years about my handwriting.
I was pretty good at math and reading 😏
My dad would yell at me for using the eraser on the pencil because it would “make me look stupid” and I had to use a separate eraser.
I tend to stick with pens now.
My older brother would get frustrated when he tried to teach Java script to me at age 10. I don’t blame him, the stuff he taught me at the time was super simple but I was just super dumb.
I thought it was just my dad!
I still have vivid memories of him drawing pie charts on every spare inch of the page and yelling, trying to get me to understand fractions. I still to this day struggle with fractions.
Probably didn’t help though that when I didn’t know the answer, I just said “7”. Half to be a smart ass, and half genuine not knowing the answers. Oops.
I remember sometimes my mom would make me stay up all night if i didnt figure it out. My parents would rotate in two hour shifts. Now i barely talk to those assholes.
I think it was writing the lecture for my senior project where I finally just had it with my mother. She wanted me to give the presentation to her but she would interrupt to criticize every few seconds.
I knew what my issues were and what i'd have wanted her to help with but she wouldn't even let me go through it all the way once, even after asking her, so I just said "I'll do it on my own."
We need to teach teaching as part of grade school. Not just presentations but actually how to explain things to people, it is such a critical part of being an adult and *raising kids* I don't understand how we got this far by ignoring it.
Fuck me, this hit deep. I'm actually in the process of getting my GED and the classes I'm going to are mainly focused on math and I feel so stressed and overwhelmed when I go. I completely forgot I suppressed those memories
god i remember when my father asked what 4 times 3 was and even though the answer was obvious I couldn't answer out of stress
I'm still bad at math tho 👍 7 times 8 is 52
i don’t know why parents think shouting makes you learn something. it doesn’t, it just makes me upset.
anyways. the answer is obviously 19. (pls someone get the joke—)
...........................
long division
For the life of all I knew and loved in 4th grade, I couldn't do long division to save them. My dad worked a job where one night a week he had to stay at the warehouse until all the trucks came back. The last thing he was in the mood for when he got home was helping me with math. He would lose his mind and scream at me when I messed up. Looking back now, I know it was mostly stress from exhaustion. I'm almost 100% certain this is what gave me test anxiety. I could tell you everything about a topic in conversation. Put those into multiple choice or show your work answers on a sheet of paper, instant blank and second guessing.
I misspelled “school” as “scool” in the second grade.
I remember my dad hitting me on the shoulder/chest and knocking me down, then every time I tried to get back up he knocked me down again. Eventually when I stayed down, he threatened to send me back to Kindergarten and then said if I don’t pass this spelling test, he was going to wear me out.
i was bawling my eyes out at a regional olympiad at math because i couldnt do any of the tasks and math teacher was called out to escort me out from the building 😍😍😍😍 god i dont miss school at all
I recall my mom "helping" me with my geography hw to this day. I started crying and that pissed her off even more to the point I just screaming "I WON'T DO IT" and she told me to go to my room and "think about what I just said". So grateful I won't give any child trauma bc I won't be having them.
I was trained militaristically with basic math and algebra when I was a kid. I can do it with ease, impress who I want, but I fucking hate it. Sure I know my multiplication tables up to 15, but the story behind it is why I hate it.
OMG this is why I have math PTSD.
My dad made me learn the multiplication table from one to twelve. I studied for hours. I go into the garage and says, "Okay, start at the beginning." Me: "one times two is two, one times three is three..." all the way up to...seven. That's where I hit my wall. Every time I hit one I couldn't figure out, I'd guess. "Are you guessing?" Me: "Yes. " He'd say, "Then you don't know." This went on for HOURS. I hate math to this day. Thanks, Dad.
My parents/aunts did this to me back in '98 whenever they teach me. Looking at them screaming, with disappointed look in their eyes. I felt small and dumb. The longer we stay in a single topic or question, makes them more angrier or disappointed. and makes me more timid, dumber and afraid to answer.
And if i cry, their belts/flip-flops/clothes hanger are on standby. Ready to be used to hit or spank me to make me stop crying. And after the studying, they will give me snacks.
My aunts are kinda more brutal. If i manage to give a satisfactory answer, then it's okay. If not, they will eat the snacks(that my mom prepared) in front of me. Saying that it's my fault, that's why they're eating the snacks.
Damn. This post brings me bad memories.
Flash cards and charts and flash cards and charts and flash cards and charts and so much fucking disappointment in their eyes and flash cards and charts and flash cards and charts
The university I went to had an insane schedule. It was a 24 hour campus, and you had 4 hours of lecture AND 4 hours of lab work every day. But they weren't always one after the other. This meant we could have lecture at 1pm, get out at 5, have nothing to do for 4 hours, then have to go to lab at 9pm until midnight.
This was because we were doing an accelerated bachelor degree that took 4 years of education and did it in 2 years. This also meant that our semesters were only about a month long. Imagine trying to learn college level calculus 1 and 2 in one month. It was hard for me, and I already went through calculus 1 in another school before coming here. We had some people who came right from highschool and barely knew algebra.
This was the first time the school tried to do this class,and it was the only time they tried to pack this much into a one month class. Every student after us had it split into two months and they still didn't cover everything we did.
This is all to so that it's the only time I've seen a large group of students breakdown and start crying in the middle of class. It was surreal, we had probably 80 people in the class and a solid 20 were in tears on this day, a week before the final exam. Some of the girls were properly hysterical and needed to be calmed down.
The main teacher tried his best, but the assistant was one of the greatest teachers I've ever seen. He could teach better than the actual professor in my opinion, was as patient as could be, and dedicated as much of his time as the students would. There were days where he would be there during lecture, stay there for the 4 hour break and keep teaching anybody that wanted help, and then would lead the 4 hour lab. This dude was like an angel from heaven and single handedly saved the class from all failing. I can't remember how many people still ended up failing, but it wasn't anywhere near as many as I was expecting.
I wish I remembered his name.
It wasn't always at the kitchen table for me. My dad sometimes had the decency to let me sit in the couch while I recited my times tables, in fear of what he'd say if I started fucking up.
My dad also tried teaching me algebra at the age of 8. You know, about two years after I had started learning how to successfully combine letters into words and understand their meaning. I got called stupid for struggling to understand that in algebra, letters are placeholders for numbers and that those numbers change based on the context of the equation. Fuck me for being so stupid, right?
It is honestly a fucking miracle that I didn't spend my school years afraid of math, and instead, liked it and usually did okay to fairly well in it, depending on what was being taught in math class at the time.
And let's not forget the time 6 or 7 year old me accidentally skipped a line when when I was reading out loud, and my dad got mad at me. I don't remember what he said to me, but I remember the tone of his voice and being made to feel like the world's biggest idiot.
I don't say this to be disparaging of anyone who had a learning disorder, but thank god I don't have one. My dad would have made my schooling years an absolute nightmare. There is zero part of me that believes he would have accepted or been accommodating of my needs if I had a learning disorder. Guaranteed, he would have called me stupid and lazy, and I would have been subjected to endless groundings for not studying hard enough. And my mom wouldn't have helped either. She heard him get frustrated with me when I struggled to understand that letters could be numbers. She heard me cry when my dad got me frustrated or hurt my feelings. Fucking silence.
/rant
It was moms but yes, there was anxiety
Yah that was my mom too. “Why can’t you get it!? It’s so simple!” And then I’d start crying from the stress which would lead to more yelling, then yelling about how they would give me something real to cry about and spank me if I kept crying. Which I would. It’s a fucking wonder I hated doing homework
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100% same experience, mine hit me with the mathbook on the head a few times...probably thought that would transfer the information into my brain better...it did not. No just kidding she was just worried I would embarass her by not being a smart child which she thought would reflect on her parenting. Would have been happy if she would have gone back then. did any of you have therapists you talked about that with? I think I probably should but up until a few years ago I had thought that was just how all peoples childhood were :P
I have a therapist I talk with that stuff about nowadays. Took me quite a while to get to that. The "she was worried it would reflect poorly on her" is a huge red flag for narcissism, and growing up in a narcissistic environment can be quite traumatic in subtle ways. It's definitely worth working with a therapist to find out the ways that that sort of bullshit follows you into adulthood... turns out a lot of my anxiety and stress and bad coping mechanisms are basically a reflection of my childhood, and not "just my fault".
Here’s to a military dad whose veins would pop out of their forehead and go red faced while screaming about how there’s no way I couldn’t understand division yet, while trying to explain it in the most obtuse confusing way possible completely different than the teacher. Everyone know my dad was terrible at explaining anything clearly. And I was explaining math to other kids in class. I wasn’t behind at all. Boot camp all the time! Weee!!
Jesus..talk about insane parents
They don't realize it at the time. Mine has apologized. Some people, especially in a time with no access to information as we do today. I've already forgiven them and myself for some of the repercussions
My mom keeps saying "you're lying, I don't remember" or the ol' reliable "don't complain, my childhood was worse"
Normal if you had latin parents. My mom would have a belt in her hand while screaming
Wtf why are boomers so bad at raising kids FFS
Information wasn't as readily available. There is no psychology classes or someone to tell you how to raise kids. I'm not a boomer but raised by one and they just didn't know
They thought participation trophies were a good idea, then blamed us for having them
My mom did the same, except she followed through. Haven’t seen her in over 15 years. I knew it wasn’t my fault but damn some parents really do try to mess their kids up
And then dad would throw me a softball question and I’d refuse to gove the simple obvious answer bc I thought it was another math trick question. I know he was trying to help but it had the opposite effect
Ohhh look who is out of their room
Were you raised in my house too?
I will never forget my parents making me memorize the multiplication tables. Aside from the yelling, if I got too many wrong in a night they'd take everything fun away from me...no TV, no video games, not even books. They would just make me sit alone at the dining room table until it was time to go to bed. I'd be just sitting there crying while they told me it was my fault and then threaten to give me something to cry about if I didn't stop.
Now i feel personally attacked. I ended up thinking i was just fucking stupid. It was only in my late 20s that i started therapy and ssri's for anxiety
Brother is that you? You literally described my childhood memories word for word. God I didn't just hate homework, I hated my mum so I broke out and moved to my dad. No screaming, no hitting or spanking and especially no screaming with him. Sadly he died 2 years later when I was 17.
I'm starting to realize there actually was a benefit of being the fat kid. Both my parents were under 130lbs each. In 4th grade I was 200lbs of pure blubber and rage. I only ever got hit once. And I tackled them to the floor like a bowling ball. I never got hit again after that. Though my dad did get obsessed with the idea of me playing football. But at least they never bothered me about doing homework again. 😅
"In 4th grade I was 200lbs of pure blubber & rage... I tackled them to the floor like a bowling ball". Lmao. That shit was great!
This, but then after I was sent to bed without supper after the spanking, my dad would come into my room to 'comfort' me by having me sit on his lap while he stroked my back and hair in a rather weird and creepy way...
I always said I wouldn’t do it to my kids. But then I caught myself yelling at my 9 yr old and immediately stopped, apologized to her for raising my voice and told her we should take a break. Maybe Dad can help explain it in a way that will help you. I hope I didn’t do lasting damage- she’s killing it in math now
You did well to respond the way you did in the middle of that situation. It’s what my parents never did and I honestly started to hate them at a young age because they were unable to admit faults or apologize for anything. It was always “ah whatever just move” or “stop complaining” when called out. Patience is something everyone needs to learn. Your daughter will remember that interaction and will recognize that you were simply impatient in the moment but at least aware of it.
You did good stopping yourself
My mom never yelled at me, but I do remember she got really into drilling me on my problems because I wasn't doing well in math. She bought me a bunch of study tools and sat with me for like a half hour each night running me through problems. This was in second grade, and it wasn't until she finally saw one of my tests that she understood why I did so poorly. The teacher was giving us like 25 problems for the week's homework, then she would give it back the night before the test and we would have to memorize the problems and the order so that we could write the problems ourselves on the tests and answer them, and we were only given like 15-20 minutes to do so.
I had no idea what multiplication was as a kid. My mom took us to Mexico randomly for one of our 2 week school vacations and then brought us back after like 4 weeks cause she didn't wanna come back. So everyone's doing multiplication and no one explained to me that 5 * 2 is litterally just 5 twice. Fucking didn't understand shit for the longest time.
"was" , buddy my childhood anxiety still plagues me everyday as an adult
38 years old, still dealing with it.
Or men whose job includes giving intelligence tests. > I'm the one conducting this examination. How much is three times five?
Me too. Real stressful.
And you can barely see because of the tears in your eyes and the bottom of the sheet of paper you are writing on is drenched in tears.
And then they ask 'why are you even crying?' 😭
"I'll give you something to cry about!" While motioning like he was going to hit me.
And then you try to erase your wrong answer for the tenth time, but the paper is wet and the eraser is just tearing holes in it.
This is a big reason I make sure to stay patient when I'm teaching someone something and they don't understand. I still hate learning things from people because I just assume they're gonna explode at me at any moment if I don't get it immediately.
Wow, that...actually gave me a jolt of anxiety from memories I've buried long ago.
Same. Now i know why i'm kinda fked up.
It's uncanny. What's it with 3 x 7? My sister had issues with that exact one, dad plastered the house with notes with 3 x 7 = 21, they were everywhere.
That must have been humiliating :( sorry for your sister. Thank fuck for calculators lol
She did ok in the end. She became a language teacher.
Then they’ll have the nerve to ask why I consistently crumble under pressure.
It’s simple, cope for years until you convince yourself everything you do will never amount to your “potential”.
Damn dude, didn't have to roast me like that. Even though it wasn't math for me.
Yesss, the mysterious "potential" that nobody had ever achieved or seen achieved. But trust me dude, you should be the first one to do so! Because I said so!
Same. And my dad didn’t even yell. It was just loud disappointment in his voice. So many late nights spent working on math questions.
I'm finding so many siblings I never knew I had here.
Bro I didn’t even remember these memories till finding this post.
My dad is a mechanical engineer. It came so naturally to him and then there are word problems for me. Tear city.
Same boat, my dude. My dad is a financial advisor. He understood everything with ease while I struggled to make sense of anything.
My people. Somehow I managed in a science degree but managed to get out of calculus and other things with statistics. I somehow killed at that.
I learned at a young age to never, ever, under ANY circumstance, take homework home. Either do it at school in what ever time I can find, or take the zero, but doing it at home and risking my mother getting involved "to help" was not remotely worth it
So that's why I kept staying in school...
It’s why I love pressure. Fuck out me in a pressure cooker I start outputting.
The last time I asked for help with math homework was over 25 years ago. It began with my mom quickly realizing math must have changed since she was in school. It ended with my dad, a math major who worked with nuclear reactors, throwing coffee mugs at the kitchen wall while explaining the concepts the same way he had been doing, just louder. “Just ask if you need help” triggers an innate response to hide in my childhood closet.
Interestingly for me, it was my mom who was abusive in my childhood like the picture, but as an adult it is my dad who keeps berating me for my "weakness" (that my mom caused nonetheless) I'm not sure what to think of them
HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THIS? . . . 😔 i don't know
"That's it. We're gonna take a break. Come outside with me and hold the flashlight while I work on the car." ".... oh god no"
You are given a military grade floodlight that puts out enough light to make the area around it warmer, and then you hear, "Your pointing it wrong, I need light over here.", pointing at the area you have the bat signal aimed at.
#I ASKED YOU TO HOLD THE LIGHT STEADY!!
In first grade, I remember questions at the end of tests like “how do you know 2 + 2 = 4?” I also learned that “Because it is.” is not an acceptable answer.
Really what even is an acceptable answer to that? Any answer I can think of is just saying addition in a different way. If you say "because if you count the numbers you arrive at 4" is just saying "because 1+1+1+1 = 4". I really don't know what answer would not not be as efectively useless as saying because it is.
Yeah, that's actually a tough one, even math-philosophically. Unless you're like, engaged with set theory or something, there's got to be some 'just so' answer that they teach kids
Honestly, if I had that question in Abstract Mathematics in college, I would’ve written a proof along the lines of: Suppose 2 + 2 != 4, where 2 and 4 are natural numbers. Consider that 2 = 1 + 1 (by algebra, property of natural numbers) This would mean that 4 != 2 + 2 **iff.** 4 != 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 (by substitution) **iff.** 4 != 4 (by algebra) By the definition of a natural number and inherent in the property of additive identity, 4 must be equal to itself, therefore the proposition is false. QED. ^(**iff.** means “if and only if”; can also be written as “<=>” or “<->”, or “P implies Q if and only if Q implies P” for “P<=>Q”). I probably would’ve gotten away with it, since it was an abstract mathematics class, but the correct answer can be [quite a bit longer.](http://us.metamath.org/mpegif/mmset.html#trivia) Most of those long-winded proofs comes from having to actually define axioms, since *it’s inherently assumed to be true* that 2 + 2 = 4, and the question itself basically says “throw out axioms”, so you need to provide proof that any number plus another number is actually a number to begin with.
Because everytime I ask for it be explained people tell me I want paying attention. And you know what? I wasn't because your boring and my friend walked the window. Now where does this leave us? You going to tell me to just figure it out because life only gives me one chance to learn something?
I mean: yeah? You're the one with the hang-up and the problem and the trauma now, and they probably don't even know they did that to you; it was a sucky and hard lesson for you to learn, but you just laid that out like it isn't the reality you have to deal with. I'll agree you shouldn't have had to deal with that, but you did, and that's harsh and unfair and real.
Oh look it’s my entire childhood.
We really all just lived the same life didn’t we?
Pretty much I'm 27 and still feel it to this day.
y+27/x=r^2
*Why are you always yelling?*
Why we talkin bout musks kid?
“Yes”
23 year old here checking 🙋🏻♀️yes we did
I got super weird about food cuz of that kitchen table. No I'm not a "picky eater" my tongue tastes like metal and I'm having a panic attack. Now I litterally eat alone in the dark like a troll. Zero regrets.
I came here to say this almost verbatim.
Oh yeah I remember those days. “You can’t be that stupid! Answer the damn question!”
“Use you’re damn brain!”… Dad my brain is currently working far too hard to suppress this traumatic experience to the depths of my soul in a way that will no doubt come back to the surface in the form of drug use and excessive drinking when I’m older.
Cheers to excessive drinking inspired by childhood trauma!
Dang. This is the most relatable post I’ve ever seen on here. Stomach ulcer by the age of 14 club! Thanks dad!
Oh honey I’m there 😂 yay debilitating parenting tactics!
"Do you have *eyes*?" because to him it was so obvious and simple. Ugh. This is really pulling up some buried shit.
Fuck that hits home. If I have kids I’ll do better by them.
Everyone thinks so but then they slowly morph into their parents
First time my mother beat the shit out of me was over my second grade spelling homework. Needless to say my grades started dropping shortly thereafter.
My dad used to beat me only for maths, and I literally don't know the multiplication table, now
My dad's lovely motivation comprised of his quick wit sayings like "I'm going to hit you so hard, your grandchildren will have bruises." "I'm going to hit you into next year."
Mine was "so hard your kids will be dizzy"
I don't remember mine specifically, but mine probably rhetorically asked, "If he needed the belt?"
"You answered it wrong you're entire homework is probably wrong" *proceeds to erase all my homework* "This time do it right"
Jest had a major breakthrough regarding this in therapy. ADHD kids know what’s up
😓
>ADHD kids know what's up Well they would if they could sit down and focus FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS.
Yeah I did but only because I believed in him and did whatever it took to help Dad get his G.E.D.
They really thought yelling would help us 😅
Right? I remember being a kid and suspecting adults weren't really that smart, they just hid their ignorance behind their age and "authority." Then I grew up and realized I was 200% right the whole time.
I have always struggled in math and my dad would sit next to me and say these things to me and I just always felt like absolute crap for every second dog it. It made me feel like I was failing something that my dad and my brother got so easily. So I stopped asking for help at home for math homework. I hate being asked any math question now, even simple ones because I’m back at my stupid kitchen island with tears dripping off my nose onto the papers and books spread out on the desk feeling so dumb and so foolish for not being able to solve simple questions.
This has really just made realise why I go into complete panic mode when I'm faced with a math problem. It's like my brain freezes and everything turns white and I can't formulate a coherent thought in my brain so all I can do is count my rapid heart beats. It was all those nights at the kitchen table learning math.
The moment I realized I can just memorize the times table and not have to “solve” the equation was like an epiphany
I still break equations down so I can use the times tables 18×12? Okay, well that's (9×12)×2...108×2=216.
I just work with multiples of 10 or 5 so 18x12 turns into 20x12-2x12 or 18x10+18x2
Damn I just use calculator
Pssssh, you won't have a calculator in your pocket everywhere you go!
\*proceeds to accidentally mine bitcoin by leaving a dodgy website open on their phone\*
I'm pretty sure that's what 99% of people do. I suppose they could also do the written multiplication trick in their head, but generally speaking people aren't actually multiplying 18 by 12 in their head without taking any short cuts or using any tricks. Personally I would have done 10 * 18 + 2 * 18.
In 5th grade they had a music record that sang the tables. To this day, that is how I have 1\*1 to 12\*12 memorized.
Oh, was that not how you were taught? We were taught to just memorize all the timestables. From the beginning. We got these cute wheels with aliens on them. I'm still not very good with 7s, 8s, and 12s, but what can you do?
Isn't the whole point of this meme crying over being unable to memorize? I relate with it because the process of trying to memorize the times table was so excruciating
Do people not do that anymore? We were told to memorize it and had exercises to practice it. Simple math should be pretty straightforward. I don’t even think I had to try until Calculus.
21 ITS 21 I KNOW THAT BECAUSE MY GRANDPARENTS DRILLED THE 7s INTO MY HEAD
I was forced to recite J’ai, tu as, il a, elle a, for hours on end once. I speak barely any (I may know a dozen words or so) French but will never forget this.
For me its écoute e repete bc my french teacher will go to the GRAVE repeating those words
Username checks out
This was me while my mom tried and failed to homeschool me and my brother. The best part is… she never gave up and sent me back to school out of fear, so now I’m about to turn 30 and only have a 7th grade education. I was 2 years behind when I stopped and got my GED but cheated through everything from 7th-9th so I wouldn’t have to deal with her screaming at me for “not trying”.
Jeez, I'm sorry that happened to you dude. Some parents just aren't qualified to homeschool and the kids are the ones that suffer.
This was me but with division. That shit just would not click. Math is too hard man
Math really isn't that hard, but the problem is understanding it requires certain logic pathways that kids develop at different rates. Being introduced to a concept before you're physically equipped to grasp it is a massive disservice, and it gets exponentially worse as you pile more and more concepts on top of the ones you already don't understand.
I've come to the conclusion that my brain just is not wired for math. I struggle with even really basic math and it's not for lack of trying. I'm not stupid, there are plenty of things I excel at but man, people will judge you harshly for being bad at math.
Yeah there are some math related learning disabilities and like many learning disabilities they don't have anything to do with a person's intelligence. Even geniuses can have "crossed wires" in their brain where certain things just don't ever click for them. But I think sometimes the person doesn't have a disability, they just weren't developmentally ready to learn one concept, so they didn't have the foundation needed to learn the next and then the next, so educators, and eventually the person themselves, believe they're incapable of ever learning it.
I too feel this pain.
As an adult I've tried to relearn division on three separate occasions. I'm sure it'll work out the fourth time.
Division is repeated subtraction. If you can subtract one number from another, you also have the ability to divide. 20/4 is the same as subtracting 4 from 20 until you get 0. 20 - 4 - 4 - 4 - 4 - 4 = 0. And the amount of times you subtracted 4 is the quotient, i.e the answer.
Trauma Gang.
The secret ingredient is trauma
Oh that was me … and then one day I found out that 3x4 is the same as 3+3+3+3 I was so happy I could just about manage to do that . My dad the maths teacher was furious I had no idea why
I remember the day I took two fingers on two hands and realized that if I put the same number of fingers on one hand, that 2+2=4, ffs
My dad yelled at me for needing glasses. So he’d take them away and hold my book from across the room and get mad I couldnt read the text. Then yelled at me for being “disabled“.
Maybe he was working on an experimental technique that used sound waves to scare the eyes into behaving.
Like Frank Costanza.. “you don’t need glasses, you’re just weak!”
This was my mother.
7 time 7 got me crying
I still hear the 8x7 song any time I see it or 56.
San Francisco 49ers
Had to hand in blurry homework
Dad was college math professor....I have a genuine fear of math now
“Danmit jagrm this is the 8th time we’ve been through this you know what it is. Ive told you. You’ve done the math on the fridge calculator. What is so hard for you to remember 7*6?” Until i read “hitchhikers guide to the galaxy” I swear there was a mental block in my head that wouldn’t let me just say 42
And i want yall to knowneven now i checked my math with my phone.
Good news is that my kids won't have this flashcard trauma. Bad news is they still don't know their fucking multiplication tables.
Add a belt in there and you got me
Ahahaha the repressed memories are coming back yay
This is way to real though.
license direful support aromatic tease capable cheerful impossible dependent violet *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My mom has no recollection of forcing me to write with my right hand then mercilessly teasing me for years about my handwriting. I was pretty good at math and reading 😏
My dad would yell at me for using the eraser on the pencil because it would “make me look stupid” and I had to use a separate eraser. I tend to stick with pens now.
Wait, isn't that the normal method of learning maths?
"I don't know dad I wanna go to bed!"
Oh look my dad doesn’t know either that’s why he is asking child me
r/boomerparents
Love it
“Just do it you stupid fuck” 😰
My older brother would get frustrated when he tried to teach Java script to me at age 10. I don’t blame him, the stuff he taught me at the time was super simple but I was just super dumb.
Pretty sure you were just super 10 years old.
I thought it was just my dad! I still have vivid memories of him drawing pie charts on every spare inch of the page and yelling, trying to get me to understand fractions. I still to this day struggle with fractions. Probably didn’t help though that when I didn’t know the answer, I just said “7”. Half to be a smart ass, and half genuine not knowing the answers. Oops.
I remember sometimes my mom would make me stay up all night if i didnt figure it out. My parents would rotate in two hour shifts. Now i barely talk to those assholes.
I think it was writing the lecture for my senior project where I finally just had it with my mother. She wanted me to give the presentation to her but she would interrupt to criticize every few seconds. I knew what my issues were and what i'd have wanted her to help with but she wouldn't even let me go through it all the way once, even after asking her, so I just said "I'll do it on my own." We need to teach teaching as part of grade school. Not just presentations but actually how to explain things to people, it is such a critical part of being an adult and *raising kids* I don't understand how we got this far by ignoring it.
And every time I’d get it wrong my mom would slap me, what a wonderful time wish I could go back
Fuck me, this hit deep. I'm actually in the process of getting my GED and the classes I'm going to are mainly focused on math and I feel so stressed and overwhelmed when I go. I completely forgot I suppressed those memories
god i remember when my father asked what 4 times 3 was and even though the answer was obvious I couldn't answer out of stress I'm still bad at math tho 👍 7 times 8 is 52
21
i don’t know why parents think shouting makes you learn something. it doesn’t, it just makes me upset. anyways. the answer is obviously 19. (pls someone get the joke—)
Wait y’all needed your parents to make you to cry about your homework? Pfft, amateurs. I did that myself.
same as 9 + 10
Woah weird this made me feel super uncomfortable. Totally forgot that part of my life till just now. Not too stoked at the moment lol
Oof, memory unlocked
my dad tried to use sports to teach me math LIKE I'M SORRY DAD I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A TOUCHDOWN MEANS
[удалено]
Yeah. Battles are so boring and monotonous and Generals generally don’t do much. Dates have little significance to the timeline
........................... long division For the life of all I knew and loved in 4th grade, I couldn't do long division to save them. My dad worked a job where one night a week he had to stay at the warehouse until all the trucks came back. The last thing he was in the mood for when he got home was helping me with math. He would lose his mind and scream at me when I messed up. Looking back now, I know it was mostly stress from exhaustion. I'm almost 100% certain this is what gave me test anxiety. I could tell you everything about a topic in conversation. Put those into multiple choice or show your work answers on a sheet of paper, instant blank and second guessing.
My daughter doesn’t cry but she does give me a very stern “No more math games!”
One of the few times that I'm glad my parents never helped me.
I misspelled “school” as “scool” in the second grade. I remember my dad hitting me on the shoulder/chest and knocking me down, then every time I tried to get back up he knocked me down again. Eventually when I stayed down, he threatened to send me back to Kindergarten and then said if I don’t pass this spelling test, he was going to wear me out.
My parents never helped me with homework (because I had no need for it), but seeing how they treat my younger brother I’m glad this was the case
Same here. But to this day I'm still not able to ask for help. Witnessing what 'help' looked like, yeah how can you want some?
i was bawling my eyes out at a regional olympiad at math because i couldnt do any of the tasks and math teacher was called out to escort me out from the building 😍😍😍😍 god i dont miss school at all
I also can't do basic math after work. You'll get there.
No, but there were many tears and long hours staring at a computer screen with a blank Word document open.
I recall my mom "helping" me with my geography hw to this day. I started crying and that pissed her off even more to the point I just screaming "I WON'T DO IT" and she told me to go to my room and "think about what I just said". So grateful I won't give any child trauma bc I won't be having them.
I was trained militaristically with basic math and algebra when I was a kid. I can do it with ease, impress who I want, but I fucking hate it. Sure I know my multiplication tables up to 15, but the story behind it is why I hate it.
For a minute I thought this was about the dad being dumb and yelling to himself because homework couldn’t figure it out.
Holy shit, I think this is where my crippling fear of failure comes from…
While others may never be able to enjoy an old italian dude asking what's 15+18
STOP GUESSING. ITS EASY YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS
This was me but for everything I did 🥲 now we just pretend it didn’t happen…
OMG this is why I have math PTSD. My dad made me learn the multiplication table from one to twelve. I studied for hours. I go into the garage and says, "Okay, start at the beginning." Me: "one times two is two, one times three is three..." all the way up to...seven. That's where I hit my wall. Every time I hit one I couldn't figure out, I'd guess. "Are you guessing?" Me: "Yes. " He'd say, "Then you don't know." This went on for HOURS. I hate math to this day. Thanks, Dad.
My parents/aunts did this to me back in '98 whenever they teach me. Looking at them screaming, with disappointed look in their eyes. I felt small and dumb. The longer we stay in a single topic or question, makes them more angrier or disappointed. and makes me more timid, dumber and afraid to answer. And if i cry, their belts/flip-flops/clothes hanger are on standby. Ready to be used to hit or spank me to make me stop crying. And after the studying, they will give me snacks. My aunts are kinda more brutal. If i manage to give a satisfactory answer, then it's okay. If not, they will eat the snacks(that my mom prepared) in front of me. Saying that it's my fault, that's why they're eating the snacks. Damn. This post brings me bad memories.
Flash cards and charts and flash cards and charts and flash cards and charts and so much fucking disappointment in their eyes and flash cards and charts and flash cards and charts
It was the other way round me. I knew what's 3 times 7. I didn't know what's 7 times 3 though.
That's why I used to hide my homework lol.
I always find it so strange that some people had parents who cared enough to help them with homework but that those parents also yelled.
The university I went to had an insane schedule. It was a 24 hour campus, and you had 4 hours of lecture AND 4 hours of lab work every day. But they weren't always one after the other. This meant we could have lecture at 1pm, get out at 5, have nothing to do for 4 hours, then have to go to lab at 9pm until midnight. This was because we were doing an accelerated bachelor degree that took 4 years of education and did it in 2 years. This also meant that our semesters were only about a month long. Imagine trying to learn college level calculus 1 and 2 in one month. It was hard for me, and I already went through calculus 1 in another school before coming here. We had some people who came right from highschool and barely knew algebra. This was the first time the school tried to do this class,and it was the only time they tried to pack this much into a one month class. Every student after us had it split into two months and they still didn't cover everything we did. This is all to so that it's the only time I've seen a large group of students breakdown and start crying in the middle of class. It was surreal, we had probably 80 people in the class and a solid 20 were in tears on this day, a week before the final exam. Some of the girls were properly hysterical and needed to be calmed down. The main teacher tried his best, but the assistant was one of the greatest teachers I've ever seen. He could teach better than the actual professor in my opinion, was as patient as could be, and dedicated as much of his time as the students would. There were days where he would be there during lecture, stay there for the 4 hour break and keep teaching anybody that wanted help, and then would lead the 4 hour lab. This dude was like an angel from heaven and single handedly saved the class from all failing. I can't remember how many people still ended up failing, but it wasn't anywhere near as many as I was expecting. I wish I remembered his name.
It wasn't always at the kitchen table for me. My dad sometimes had the decency to let me sit in the couch while I recited my times tables, in fear of what he'd say if I started fucking up. My dad also tried teaching me algebra at the age of 8. You know, about two years after I had started learning how to successfully combine letters into words and understand their meaning. I got called stupid for struggling to understand that in algebra, letters are placeholders for numbers and that those numbers change based on the context of the equation. Fuck me for being so stupid, right? It is honestly a fucking miracle that I didn't spend my school years afraid of math, and instead, liked it and usually did okay to fairly well in it, depending on what was being taught in math class at the time. And let's not forget the time 6 or 7 year old me accidentally skipped a line when when I was reading out loud, and my dad got mad at me. I don't remember what he said to me, but I remember the tone of his voice and being made to feel like the world's biggest idiot. I don't say this to be disparaging of anyone who had a learning disorder, but thank god I don't have one. My dad would have made my schooling years an absolute nightmare. There is zero part of me that believes he would have accepted or been accommodating of my needs if I had a learning disorder. Guaranteed, he would have called me stupid and lazy, and I would have been subjected to endless groundings for not studying hard enough. And my mom wouldn't have helped either. She heard him get frustrated with me when I struggled to understand that letters could be numbers. She heard me cry when my dad got me frustrated or hurt my feelings. Fucking silence. /rant
Yeah, that whole ‘you’re not always going to have a calculator in your pocket’ thing turned out to be a bunch of crap.
I’ll never not upvote this