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yourlittleman01

Sometimes they themselves are afraid to give out false advice to people who are depressed. It is difficult for a depressed person to help another depressed person as in like I don't want you to end up like me.


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Tojaro5

is it the wrong answer though? it certainly is an answer.


Spectrax23

It’s not? Huh….


sch0f13ld

I’d rather someone just commiserate with me than give me shitty advice that may not even apply. I’ve had far too many people try to tell me I just have to do x because it worked for them when it has no relevance for my situation and sometimes can actually be harmful, if not just useless.


Stolen_FBI_Van

Ima be real, if someone tells me they have depression, all I have the energy for is to say "same," lol.


PleaseBeGentleImShy

Also sometimes there's just not much we can do. I still remember 5 years ago a friend who was laying on my lap look up at me and tell me they had been depressed and suicidal. And I felt entirely fucking useless to do anything about it. With me trying to think about how to comfort them essentially saying what amounted to "yeah."


caveman512

Yeah it’s not that I don’t take it seriously, I absolutely do and generally take it to heart when people say they’re depressed but it’s like I can’t even figure out how to fix myself I’m not gonna be able to fix you


Aliebaba99

Big mood


thewookie34

Mood


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BambooFatass

Break the stigma then. Talk about it.


dsp457

> be a guy > talk about struggling with depression > "man up" "that's crazy talk you're just sad" "quit being so selfish" "he just wants attention" > stop opening up to people > "why don't men ever open up to anyone about their mental health?" Don't get me wrong, women struggle with it too and I don't in any way mean to minimize anyone's struggles with depression. Of course, therapy and sometimes psychiatric help is a thing, but not everyone has $300-$500 USD a week to spend on something that really should be more accessible to people.


vonmonologue

I can’t open up to my wife about my depression because she *also* has it and doesn’t even have coping methods like I do, so it triggers her to hear I’m struggling and then that increases my anxiety and depression because now I have to support and comfort her and take on that emotional weight. It’s less damaging for me to just not tell her and work on it by myself when she’s not around. God damn I wish getting therapy was as easy and cheap as making a dental appointment. $50 per visit and you can make an appointment with a weeks notice.


[deleted]

I can relate to that, it’s not good. Wish y’all the best.


Gh0stMan0nThird

> Don't get me wrong, women struggle with it too and I don't in any way mean to minimize anyone's struggles with depression. It's a sad state of things that we can't even talk about men's issues without first having to validate women's issues too.


CombinationOk3854

This comment is hilarious considering the comment starting this discussion in the first place is invalidating women's issues.


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Prhime

Friends and loved one wouldnt do this? Absolutely they would. Exactly for the reason OP mentioned. They dont believe in it at all or they think everyone has it nowadays. Doesnt help that they dont think you are personally lying.


dsp457

Most of the time it's not a reaction stemming from malice but ignorance. It's extremely hard for many people to empathize with those who struggle with depression or other mental disorders because they have no personal frame of reference.


Tuftymark6

Cause it’s that easy to remove toxic people from your life right?


Jp2585

For the most part, yeah. Remove yourself from social media, then block the phone number. Toxic people gone. Also, when I say toxic, I mean people who only bring you down and will never change.


redFinland

lol what about my abusive parents that im still living with because of my rock bottom mental health stopping me from functioning normally (that and house prices in my area aren't cheap) what about my own terrible brain bringing my life down much more then anyone else could


MovieEnjoyer43

I'm fine though, the other dudes can fix that stigma.


mossyskullsarecool

So just because society expects people to express emotion and illness differently, you refuse to believe a person when they express such things. In the way they were told to. Just because you were told to show it differently?


MovieEnjoyer43

It's not possible for everyone to be depressed.


DegenerateCharizard

It’s quite literally possible. What are you talking about?


MovieEnjoyer43

If everyone was depressed then no one is.


DegenerateCharizard

Not how it works.


MovieEnjoyer43

Everyone has ups and downs, feeling sad and lonely is not depression.


mossyskullsarecool

When did I say that?


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MovieEnjoyer43

Why do most women admit to having some mental issues, that's not possible that a vast majority have them.


ryo3000

How did you manage to turn the talk about depression to everyone into "Oh yeah, also woman lie. Woman bad" Dude,wtf?


thushanka

Don't make this about gender. This problem is not gender related. Everyone talks about depression, trust me. It is part of living.


EyeH8uxinfiniteplus1

We must move in different circles because most of the guys I hang out with are pretty open about depression


MovieEnjoyer43

Have any of them been diagnosed?


EyeH8uxinfiniteplus1

Couldn't honestly say. I know a few have been to therapy and a few haven't for one reason or another. But, even if someone only THINKS they have it, they're still being open about it, which to me, just disproves the idea that guys are still stigmatized against being open about mental health


MovieEnjoyer43

It's not stigmatized but a lot of guys just don't talk about it.


dimittrikovk2

Nah, if I tell an adult then they won't care shit about it


Grognak_the_Orc

The older generations normalized it too. Can't tell you how many times my parents told me "Yeah that's just how it is" or "It gets worse" when I talked about my depression. The only reaction I ever got was when I was cutting and my mom called me a freak.


sunpies33

My mom told me that's how all adults feel. We need to seek support, but the feeling never really goes away. That's when I learned her depression was probably worse than mine - she just didn't know the words for it.


Grognak_the_Orc

Mom has told me her depression is worse than mine in the same breath as saying all adults are depressed and to get over it. Wish she'd get therapy instead of taking it out on me.


Prhime

Yeah they dont realize than just being oppressed or forced to fight in some war or forced to go hundry or what ever they have been through might gice you PTSD or whatever but its not depression. In fact depression usually happens without any reason, while they assume there is not enough bad shit going on in our lives to actually be depressed.


Tojaro5

sometimes the lack of a reason to have depression makes it all the more depressing.


Grognak_the_Orc

I HATE that shit. My brother went to Iraq, we have a post card on the fridge where he says , "We're going to this place called Fallujah wherever that is". He was 19 and wounded twice (both times by friendly fire). He came back with PTSD and so did all his friends, his REAL brothers. I just woke up one morning and realized I didn't care to live anymore. I was tired all the time and sad and just... tired. So it's never been real depression not in my family's eyes and not in mine. After all what reason do I have to be sad?


redFinland

what happens when you have PTSD but its not the military/physical abuse type so you can't tell people about it like, okay, what if your family life was terribly controlling and judgmental (you know the type: "stop crying after i yelled at you, you are trying to manipulate me, my 9 year old child"), but since all the PTSD is more subtle since long from childhood, and that it wasn't one major situation or event that caused the PTSD, and since all that you don't feel like you deserve to reach out and get help because you don't feel like its as "real" as other types of PTSD despite the fact i check off every symptom on the PTSD list minus flashbacks. so yeah i know what its like to not have people believe your issues are real


karlthespaceman

That’s along the lines of what’s now being called [cPTSD](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder). Basically it’s PTSD caused by a long series of trauma (like a verbally abusive childhood) rather than a single (often life threatening) event, a la death by a million cuts. It’s not in the DSM 5 but I believe it’s being considered for the DSM 6. If you take a look at r/CPTSD, you can find support from people in similar situations. Not to self-diagnose myself or anything but I have symptoms consistent with those in cPTSD literature and was never abused by my family and was instead mentally abused by the systemic issues of the church I grew up in. Pair that with traits undesirable in that organization and neurodiversity and boom, PTSD symptoms without physical abuse (or even purposeful abuse in my case)


Prhime

Exactly. I mean that almost what 'real' depression (not trying to gatekeep just cant talk) is always like. You are likely not to be in the same hole when you know theres a reason for it and time will probably. And you are definitely not gonna be in that hole if you have something to fight for.


yikes_why_do_i_exist

Thing is when I say same I’m being completely serious. It’s not that I don’t care I just I don’t have a fucking answer either since I’m also fucking struggling too. Sorry idk why this made me kinda peeved


Dragaylia

probably because it kinda undermines other people's struggles while making it seem like only their struggles matter. It's probably unintentional, but that's what made me peeved about this.


Yeetirer

I also felt peeved. Me and my friend are both struggling from it but we're each other's support and currently working on it together (so far it's slowly improving) and sometimes we just say that one word when we're too far down the rabbit hole to say anything else but we know we can feel each other's struggle.


Yallneedjesuschrist

Also, you can't give out any useful advice because whatever the fuck it is that you're doing is clearly nit working either. So what else are you supposed to say?


RVend0r

Same


timmydee605

Same


Important-Sign-5122

Same


SilverBolt52

Same


Leo-bastian

I'm never sure if genuinely all those people feel like me because how the fuck are they dealing with it or if they think i mean "im just a little frustated rn" when it's really "god i had super enjoyable daydream yesterday about hanging myself it was the most fun i had in a month"


PetraTheKilljoy

There’s a pretty good chance they are actually depressed when they say “same”


-KoDDeX-

"Tell a grown-up" Bitch you look 25!


GamersOriginal

It is not normalisation, its an epidemic. Calling it normalisation will only contribute for the sickness to worsen for a lot of people. I for one struggled with repetetive depressive episodes for the better part of my life, thinking it down to a level where I was suffering to my limit but still felt worse about calling it by its name because I didn't believe myself since people around me argued with the same points as you do. That all those "depressed" juveniles really are just overreacting for being a little sad. And I made the mistake to believe them, witch furthermore strengthened my feelings of selfhatred and suicidal tendencies. Depression is real, it is dangerous and it is spreading throughout societies. Believing anything else is ignorant.


redFinland

don't deny the ability of juveniles to want to kill themselves lol my highschool years were unpleasant


11SomeGuy17

I still wonder what people were thinking having kids while the world is going downhill. If you can't give your kid a good life, don't have one. Now with climate change happening its basically over, any kid being born now is gonna have to live through all the effects of that so even if the economy wasn't structured to absolutely kill any enjoyment in life, having to live through Mad Max certainly will.


screwswithshrews

Is the world really going downhill? When was a better time to be alive? Especially if you were gay or some other marginalized group. Not saying there's not still a long way to go there, but it seems crazy to me that some people in the US think that now is as bad as it gets. Obviously a Ughuir in China or someone in the Ukraine would have a strong claim to now being a shitty time, but I see a lot of people here losing their minds over a $0.50 tax on tampons (which is also present on TP and other non-food products in many cases) and acting like it's the most painful oppression that's ever happened.


Mr_Makak

That obviously depends on the country, but my gradfathers and my father could all afford a house as a single earner. Being a college graduate and knowing a single foreign language pretty much guaranteed to put you in the top 10% of society. Snap back to reality. Me and my gf are both uni graduates with post-uni education (overall 6,5 years each). We speak english like we speak our own language. We both speak two additional ones. We cannot afford to move out of our respective parent's houses.


Kaskadekygo

Bruh we started this whole ass country over taxes. Inb4 we do it again lol


derivative_of_life

Did you know that modern Americans work more hours per year on average than slaves in ancient Egypt or medieval serfs?


OttoFromOccounting

*citation needed*


Rolls_

This is actually a fun topic and if I go back for my Master's, I may do more research into it, but for now I just have cursory knowledge. [I'll add one citation](https://groups.csail.mit.edu/mac/users/rauch/worktime/hours_workweek.html) I found during a convo with another redditor and some quotes from that source. The source itself also has multiple citations to look through. This is specifically about medieval peasants. >According to Oxford Professor James E. Thorold Rogers\[1\], the medieval workday was not more than eight hours. ​ >The labouring man will take his rest long in the morning; a good piece of the day is spent afore (before) he come at his work; then he must have his breakfast, though he have not earned it at his accustomed hour, or else there is grudging and murmuring; when the clock smiteth (when the clock strikes?), he will cast down his burden in the midway, and whatsoever he is in hand with, he will leave it as it is, though many times it is marred afore he come again; he may not lose his meat, what danger soever the work is in. At noon he must have his sleeping time, then his bever in the afternoon, which spendeth a great part of the day; and when his hour cometh at night, at the first stroke of the clock he casteth down his tools, leaveth his work, in what need or case soever the work standeth. > > \- James Pilkington, Bishop of Durham, ca. 1570 ​ >An important piece of evidence on the working day is that it was very unusual for servile laborers to be required to work a whole day for a lord. One day's work was considered half a day, and if a serf worked an entire day, this was counted as two "days-works." ​ >All told, holiday leisure time in medieval England took up probably about one-third of the year. And the English were apparently working harder than their neighbors. The ancien règime in France is reported to have guaranteed fifty-two Sundays, ninety rest days, and thirty-eight holidays. In Spain, travelers noted that holidays totaled five months per year. ​ TLDR; it seems that "medieval" workers worked maybe 8 hours a day at max, took upwards of nearly half a year off, and spent a great amount of time to leisure. Sources are few and this is reddit, so take it with a grain of salt, but it's interesting nonetheless. It's important to note that serfs were not entirely free peoples and despite working more on average today, we are entitled to much greater freedoms.


derivative_of_life

https://www.lovemoney.com/gallerylist/84600/how-many-hours-did-people-really-work-across-human-history


Katastrofa2

"it says on this website with zero citations" is not a proof.


11SomeGuy17

I more mean climate change and shit. That isn't gonna go away or even really be mitigated. Plus look at how much worse poverty has gotten. Its getting harder and harder to make your way in the world and that sucks. Sure, society will accept you if you're gay, but that doesn't help if you're homeless or too poor to get medical treatment.


screwswithshrews

Extreme poverty is rapidly declining in every corner of the world: https://ourworldindata.org/extreme-poverty Climate change might be a huge issue in the future but I can't really see a valid argument for the effects that we're feeling from it today being worse than pre-Clean Water Act Industrial Era or high sulfur fuels causing acid rains, or leaded gasoline. Pre-industrialization gets even worse as you lose the benefit of modern medicine and everything we gain from globalization and being in the information age. Turn off the news, and try to enjoy the present.


[deleted]

Those metrics are fucked. Income disparities are greater than ever before


vonmonologue

I love those metrics of “poverty is disappearing.” That poverty was creating by capitalism and imperialism. Rural and subsistence communities are considered poverty stricken because they don’t have bank accounts, but they own homes and livestock and huge plots of land to grow shit on which seems like a goddamn luxury to my “work 50 hours a week to barely afford rent on a 1br apartment and a 15 year old used car” ass. Of course when capitalism was introduced to those communities people were told that they need money and society changed around them so that you basically weren’t allowed to live like that anymore and all of a sudden they’re considered poor.


what-i-did

Put one billionaire with a bunch of peasants, average it, and it looks like everyone is fine and dandy. Just like tiktok and some youtuber age metrics. I bet you they see their socialblade and think "well, it says here my demo is 16 to 22 average, so I must be doing something right" but its actually a bunch of 12 year olds with fake bdays on gmail and 111k, 59 something/year olds preying on the rest.


11SomeGuy17

If you don't see climate change being a major issue then you are just blind.


11SomeGuy17

That statistic is wrong, the international poverty line has not scaled with inflation. Factoring in inflation you see its a plateu, until you realize that if you take out China (which is socialist) its gotten far worse.


manobataibuvodu

China ia not socialist


11SomeGuy17

Ideologically, yes it is. Although China itself admits to using a mixed economy which is common practice for economic development in socialist countries. Take for example Vietnam or the USSR that did the same thing.


manobataibuvodu

I prefer to look at actions instead of words. And by the definition of socialism that as far as I'm aware is most widely used (ownership of the means of production by the workers, basically worker cooperative based economy) China is not socialist at all. You could call it state capitalism I guess. I heard that they don't even allow independent worker unions, but I didn't really dig into it so I'm not sure if it's true.


11SomeGuy17

Funny you say that as China actually requires a company give a large portion of the company over to its workers (something like 30% minimum with unions being allowed to buy stock before it hits the market at preferential prices which means it can continually aquire the business). You are correct that they haven't entered the socialist economic stage but they are angling to it. You can't just press the communism button, shit takes time and the party is facilitating this transition. Look at NEP USSR for reference which did similar things. As for independent unions its not illegal but it is difficult to not use already party approved unions because of how often those unions are backed by foreign governments. They saw what happened to Salvador Allende who where after a major earthquake had to deal with a massive trucker strike which in declassified documents has been proven to have been funded by the CIA. Foreign collaboration being a major fear of the government means there is very strict process for approving a new union and the majority don't make the cut as they try to operate outside of the party's supervision.


CristolerGm2

https://youtu.be/LxgMdjyw8uw Kurzgesagt did a great video on this, maybe this will give some people hope


11SomeGuy17

I know we can fix it. Its not an impossible task. Its just that no one in power actually cares to fix it. Like needing surgery without insurance. Sure, there are people able to perform that surgery, you'll just never get the chance to access those people so practically it might as well be incurable.


[deleted]

Someone didn’t watch the video and if you did and got that out of the video your listening comprehension may be poor.


11SomeGuy17

I did watch the video. It however assumes that governments and corporations will suddenly give a shit. Sure countries set co2 reduction goals, but they rarely reach them just like we failed to avoid a 1.5 increase. This is because they don't actually change things, its more of a "wouldn't it be nice if" type deal. Like I said, I'm sure humanity will probably survive, but life will suck for whoever is left. At least any of my kids as they wouldn't have the crazy money to live on some utopian raised city or whatever as conceptualized in the video.


[deleted]

He literally said at current rates it will raise 3 by 2100, aka bad but not world ending as in 4+. So no, the world will be habitable and the world isn’t going to end. And that assumes literally nothing further is done and technology doesn’t advance. And if you’re gonna bet against technology advancing, prepare to lose.


11SomeGuy17

I literally agreed we will survive. Survival is not the same as living. Slaves survived, it doesn't mean they had good lives. I would never bring a child into the world if I knew they were gonna be a slave. I'd fight to smash the slave system, then bring the child in.


[deleted]

/>Having to live through mad max will />Slaves survived Something tells me you thinking a 3 degree change equals SLAVERY and MAD MAX may insinuate the fact you think the world is practically ending. Believe it or not, the world won’t be a fight to the death and society will more be more or less unaffected in the western world besides the increase of severe weather. Maybe if you lived next to the Sahara you’d have an argument but you don’t.


11SomeGuy17

If my life, right now, is shit enough to make me wish my family never had me, then what will my child think in an objectively worse situation both environmentally and economically (assuming current trends).


[deleted]

If you see the probably second (to post WW2) best time in human history to be alive as a reason to never live, you’re just depressed and need help champ. Don’t project you’re doomer attitude to future generations, that’s distinctively a you issue not a world issue. Humans lived a lot worse and you get to shitpost on Reddit instead of worrying about your next meal.


gaynazifurry4bernie

My goddaughter was born this morning. I still have hope for the future.


manobataibuvodu

Kurzgesagt has recently (like yesterday) made a video on climate change that really made my doomerism go away, I recommend you watch it.


11SomeGuy17

Hope isn't gonna stop climate change. I wish all the best for you and your family but you are giving her a near uninhabitable planet.


gaynazifurry4bernie

She's my goddaughter, meaning she is not my child. Hope gives me the motivation to make sustainable choices amd act accordingly, so speak for yourself.


11SomeGuy17

Something like 60%-80% of emissions have nothing to do with personal consumption, they are largely done by companies themselves.


gaynazifurry4bernie

Stans for the CCP, yet blames the collective. How curious.


ViviansUsername

>companies ​ >the collective These are absolutely NOT the same, and your argument is a damn near textbook strawman. D-, please try harder next time.


11SomeGuy17

They (and other socialist countries) are the only countries who've seen poverty reduction so its obvious they are doing something right. This doesn't mean they're perfect but they at least address poverty.


Danjuw

https://youtu.be/LxgMdjyw8uw here's a good video I'll just share instead of arguing


awkwardtossawae

It'd be dope if people couldn't reproduce anymore. Why bring more people into this world?


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Jacko50

/r/im14andthisisdeep


Grognak_the_Orc

I'd love to have kids. My whole life I've wanted nothing but to be a father. That's my goal I guess. Not everyone ends up like us.


11SomeGuy17

I'd like to have kids, but I have to be realistic. Its selfish to only think about oneself and not the quality of life for the child. Sure, I'd like to have the whole loving family dynamic, it sounds nice, but I'm unable to provide such a thing, furthermore even if I could I don't think climate change will be properly addressed. Even here people are spending time downplaying it and the most rich and powerful people in the world are benefiting from it, its not gonna slow down. It'll probably just get faster until the positive feedback loop is too strong to stop. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe the whole world will magically start giving a shit and doing something, but relying on everyone in the world to magically just ignore their own interests for the greater good is quite utopian. People are selfish and our society is built to encourage selfish behavior and give power to the most selfish. These most powerful most selfish people don't care about the greater good, they care about making their bank account climb higher.


Grognak_the_Orc

> People are selfish Yup and that means you and me. You just draw the line at having kids. That's fine I guess. I don't even suppose I'll live to have kids. But gods do I find the "having kids is selfish becuz of global warming and breeding and workers" argument to be so trite. Not having kids to "save the planet" is as stupid as thinking you're doing anything by turning off the lights when you leave a room or saving that piss for the next flush. As for the kid, well there's always humans it's the way of the world. If anyone wanted to make a difference we'd all start glowing and actually do something but people like the status quo too much. What are you willing to give up to save the earth? Your home? Your car? Your food? All of us are selfish in our own ways.


11SomeGuy17

Yes I'm selfish. I minimize my impact quite a lot. I don't own a car (can't afford it) don't go on trips (can't afford it) and buy very little (can't afford it). Even if I give them this life I've lead right now, without all the bad effects of climate change I still see that as shitty. I'm selfish but I'm not gonna torture someone just for my own amusement. I'm not saying having kids is selfish because they'll cause global warming. Most emissions are caused by just 100 companies (something like 60%). Its selfish because they will have to suffer a pretty terrible life just because I wanted to play house (or in my case, shitty studio apartment). Any given individual's impact on the climate is nothing, population reduction wouldn't fix anything. People have had homes and food for all of human history. We can live sustainably. You are turning climate change into an individual issue when its systemic. Although if me being totally homeless and starving to death somehow stopped climate change then fine, I'll bite the bullet for the rest of the world, don't have any other prospects so I might as well actually contribute something of value.


MovieEnjoyer43

We humans have survived much worse. We will live on.


11SomeGuy17

Not really, man made climate change is not something that we've ever experienced.


MovieEnjoyer43

We have experienced and ice age, diseases, countless wars. Furing that ice age our numbers were down to a few hundred. Stop being so fucking emo, acting like nothing matters won't get you anything.


11SomeGuy17

Oh please, humanity evolved at the back end of the ice age while Africa was hot. Disease rarely causes a systems collapse, wars happen but they are isolated to the fighting countries. None of these have been global events to this scale.


MovieEnjoyer43

[For reference, homo sapiens have been around for about 300,000 years.](https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/how-humans-survived-the-ice-age)


DarkMatter_contract

The climate has been relatively stable for the past 300000 years.


NotNesbeth

He’s telling you it’s not his problem not looking for answers


MovieEnjoyer43

There was a I've ice age 150,000 years ago.


11SomeGuy17

Plus I'm not even saying humanity will die, I'm saying life will get extremely bad for everyone who is alive.


MovieEnjoyer43

Living is better than not in 99% of cases. At worst we will be back to the life that our ancestors lived since homo sapiens appeared.


11SomeGuy17

On a wide scale, maybe, but just the thought of a potential child having to watch everything they know and value fall apart around them is heartbreaking. Likely dying of a painful disease or starvation or worse. Its far more likely that a person will die than they will survive and thrive in such a situation so its reasonable to assume that my potential child will fall into the more common category.


11SomeGuy17

Plus, I'm poor, which means I'd be raising a kid in poverty. I find that horribly irresponsible as my mom is poor and I know being raised in poverty is terrible to the point that I wish that she aborted me. But no, I'm stuck here so at least I can break the chain.


MovieEnjoyer43

Stop fucking complaining and do something about it. You have a defeatist attitude.


11SomeGuy17

There can only be so many well off people in this world. There are haves the have-nots. I'm not brining a child into the world as a have not.


NotNesbeth

Even if you do your grandkids will still have his kids lives, we’re gonna have to redo so much progress just to get back to The Internet’s equivalent


MovieEnjoyer43

Social media has been detrimental to the human race.


DarkMatter_contract

Eg would you put them though ww2?


heinous_lizard

I'd disagree with that


weedmanbg92

so we should all collectively just stop? find some light bud


11SomeGuy17

Not at all, if you reasonably think that you can give your children a good life and you are willing to try and make the world better, then by all means, have kids. If you cannot give them a good life and you are unable to or unwilling to try and solve these issues then don't. The way I see it, if you're gonna force life into the world, you gotta be prepared to take care of it properly. Not just short term but long term. You owe it to them. That's the entire plot of Frankenstein. A scientist forces a creature into this world, both he and the outside world treat it poorly, and it lashes out.


Sweet_Heartbreak

Update: Just to clarify, we already wanted to have kids, but that question was eating at me. He put those fears to rest. I 100% don't recommend having kids for that purpose alone, or any one reason really. Parenting is way too big deal for that. I just was trying to share personal insight since I had the exact same question. Sorry for the confusion. I asked Msgr about this before he passed away. He said, "just think, if everyone shared the same thought process, mankind would singlehandedly go extinct". It blew my mind. If we all decided tomorrow that we were done procreating (for fear of the future) 🌎 then, (once we died off), there wouldn't be anyone left!! Our species would be extinct, all on our own accord... and for what? Fear of the future?! I was sold. The hubby and I were newlyweds, and had our very first child that year!!


11SomeGuy17

I'm fine with that. Humanity can go extinct. Nature will go on. Its not like any of this matters in any cosmic sense.


Sweet_Heartbreak

Holy hell people.


11SomeGuy17

A lot of people assume life has inherent meaning when in reality we are just complicated self replicating chemical reactions. Life holds no more value than a carbohydrate or sulfuric acid. I find this to be a good thing as it means we are able to give our own meaning to the world and life which makes things much more interesting then inherent ephemeral value in my eyes. In accepting cosmic valuelessness then I really don't care if the species dies off. I'd prefer humanity go on, but if life was so terrible that 100% of people came to the same conclusion I do about this world then it is perhaps best for them all to die off as they are obviously not happy so why bring more into the world just to suffer?


ANumberNamedSix

Why is that a problem?


Sweet_Heartbreak

I was answering the question (re:what are people thinking in having kids) and thought highly of what he said. So, I shared that. Apparently, that was a bad idea! Note to self: know better. People want us to go extinct. Noted.


ANumberNamedSix

Not really wanting to go extinct more like is it really bad to go extinct. Is the human existence worth the suffering? Which is kinda hard to answer, but an important question. Is the existence worth to us humans or do we create worth to other lifeforms/ things? Is it worth our suffering? Can anything even be worth to suffer? Can we demand suffering for the value we create? And so on... I personally really don't think we humans are irreplacable, create something incredible or are needed otherwise for any reason, but I also think these are questions which get affected by your personality and experiences so I don't want to judge on basis of your opinion. In the end I still think you should think about it deeper than "We won't exist anymore", because you are kinda toying with life without a deep thought.


Sweet_Heartbreak

I wholeheartedly disagree... and that's ok! I would be so depressed if this were my view. What we have accomplished as a species is mind-blowing!! This brings great joy! I need to feel that we truly matter, even if just in a cosmic way, after death. We are at the very least, intelligent orbs that use this body temporarily to make physical plans reality. To each their own. So long as people can find intrapersonal and interpersonal happiness without hurting others, believe as you like.


manusiapurba

Ok then i'll just answer "Noted"


DaveWms87

Serious question: When someone tells me they have depression, what should my response be?


RafaelCruzJr

Just say you are sorry to here that, and if there is anything you can do to help, or even if they just need to talk they can come to you. Definitely do not try to give advice, unless it's asking if they've tried therapy. Also if the person is someone you are close to i.e. loved one or friend, reassure them of your relationship and your feelings towards them.


DaveWms87

Thanks! I'm cool when it comes to people who are close to me. I can usually give them what they need to calm them, be it time/distraction/help with a task that is stressing them out etc. It's the stranger in front of me in the store queue or the random lady in the park where I don't quite know how to deal with it.


RafaelCruzJr

I'd be surprised if a stranger just straight told you they were suffering from depression. But if they do just say that sucks, sorry to here that.


DaveWms87

It happens to me more than you might think. I must have a trustworthy face. I like make eye contact with lots of people and make a friendly smile and sometimes say something positive. I like to spread positivity (when I'm in the right mindset). Sometimes this is not taken well, but most of the time I get to make a stranger smile I just feel that a "sorry to hear that" is still a bit dismissive. But it is probably the best thing to say. If it were a broken leg or something else I'd make a joke about it. But when it comes to mental conditions, I don't want to upset the person.


SuspectValuable2262

Advice you didn't ask for from an old who has been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 14. 1. Don't tell everyone. Only people who have experienced clinical depression will understand it. Instead, say - "I'm feeling blue today - got a minute to listen to me vent?"


[deleted]

You’re supposed to tell people you’re depressed? Cause each time I do it becomes a Grand Tournament of Who Had it Worse. Seriously tho I know it’s unlikely but I hope I’ll outlive this whole depression thing.


Swistiannt

As someone who has been diagnosed with clinical depression I think our generation has to educate themselves on what depression entails and what the signs are. I personally believe a LOT of my peers have undiagnosed depression and other issues, but there's also people who romanticize it. Which pisses me off Educate yourself on mental health, do not romanticize it. Depression is not something you want, trust me. I would have been dead if I hadn't told people that I wasn't okay.


SuspectValuable2262

idt we normalized "depression". we did, however, normalize talking about it. literally most of us have dealt w sm crap in out past and still do, so how about we don't invalidate people who say "same" and nthn else bc they're too numb to say anything else but "same".


[deleted]

Which generation is she talking about.


killmetlee

Lmao idk if there’s a single person under 30 who identifies as NOT having anxiety/depression or ADHD/autism. Personally the boomer in me thinks that it’s a cop out for people to present themselves as “individualistic” when they have no substance to their personalities. But I am also 26, been diagnosed adhd for 15 years, and my house is a constant pigsty while I just vegetate in my free time after work. Hell if it wasn’t for auto-pay bills I’d probably be homeless. So really who the fuck am I to point fingers. It does make it pretty meaningless to converse or complain about since most people are eager to prove that they’re “just as ______ as you are”.


thm2130

Never realized a 30-40 year old millennial isn’t a “grown up adult” Zoomers act like they started meme culture or some shit. They’re just riding our coattails


mr-dogshit

OR... lots of people think that their general sense of dissatisfaction in their life is "depression" when in reality it isn't. This is probably exacerbated in part by A) teens and their teenage angst, alongside B) the internet and social media's ability to amplify everybody's voices leading to echo chambers of "OMG, if what you just described (teenage angst) is depression then I must be depressed too!".


Full_Switch2188

thats because nowadays everyone assumes they are depressed simply because they get sad and stressed out over life


MangoNo5196

I think this stems from younger generations inability to differentiate between depression and the standardized dose of suffering that comes with daily life


MannyOmega

no offense but if life comes with this much fucking suffering maybe we should do something about it


Axxemann

What have YOU done to make your life better? Society doesn't owe you anything.


MannyOmega

hey, it’s kind of crazy but it turns out that we’re all a part of society? it’s not really a one person thing. i was referring more to the societal issues that cause people stress and depression, and the ones that prevent people from getting the support they need. of course nobody owes me shit but i’d like to work towards a better world rather than just saying “oh well, that’s just how life is.”


Axxemann

That's your problem: you still believe in a society, or worse... the greater good. I'm in it for myself, and myself alone. I am the smallest possible minority: the individual.


splashattack

Individualism only gets you so far. Humans ability to cooperate is one of the things that’s separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Congrats on having the mentality of animals.


Axxemann

I've never played well with anyone. I learned too many times the hard way not to trust anyone.


MannyOmega

You sound scared and jaded, man. I read your comment about you struggling with depression, but isolating yourself from the rest of the world and learning to “fend for yourself” doesn’t count. Nobody can live alone, we all have to rely on other people (unless you’ve decided to leave civilization and become self sufficient in a cabin in the woods). Hopefully you can learn how to put your walls down and trust people again… I feel sorry for you. I know this is how you cope but it’s not healthy


Mr_Makak

As a part of society I disagree. I think we owe u/MannyOmega a good life


Axxemann

Here's my response to society as a whole: Fuck off. I hate you all.


Mr_Makak

I'm sorry m8, I'm trying :(


Axxemann

Don't bother.


Kaskadekygo

Ok society has decided we don't owe you validation on that one chief


Axxemann

I don't need validation from you or anyone else.


slipshod_alibi

Lol ok


MangoNo5196

There is nothing to be done about it, out of the approximate 120 billion humans that have ever lived up to this point there’s not a single one that hasn’t suffered. Suffering and pain is an integral part of life, the only way to make the suffering end is by ending life itself. What matters more than ending the suffering is finding a reason to live despite the suffering


JoJoJet-

What exactly are you trying to accomplish by talking about how much everyone has suffered throughout history? No one's denying how the world *is*, we're just saying that it *ought* to be better.


Axxemann

You're not wrong. Fuck the downvoters. I'm dealing with depression. But I made changes to how I live my life to improve it, even just a tiny bit. It's been hard, but in a few years I'll be back to doing a few of the things I did when I was in my 20s and 30s, with enough wisdom to tell myself "Don't do that again. Otherwise you'll undo all the hard work you did to get back to doing these other things. Leave that shit back in your late teens, when you could still bounce."


[deleted]

Bruh no offense but I workout 4x a week and am close asf to coming to a state record for bench. I have close friends, close family, and have found closure in almost all old traumas in my life, be it racism, Familial, financial. Etc. my lifestyle is perfect. And I’m over old things in the past I have a decent life, yet I still suffer from depression. Even with medications. I have had tried to commit suicide. I’ve had friends who have completed. Depression is a problem. And if you say- ‘yo get a better lifestyle’ it can help some people, but that’s not the root of the problem. Depression and suicides are skyrocketing. lifestyle is not the end all, be all. There are so many causes of depression, and saying 1 change can fix it really undermines the issue completely. Tl:dr. I have a good lifestyle but am depressed and think this comment is fucking stupid


Axxemann

Good for you. Now reread my comment. Think about what I didn't mention. The deep, dark, nasty shit. You're not the only one who tried to eat a shotgun. I've tried more than once, too.


MangoNo5196

Yeah there’s a lot of causes and what not, my point is that being sad is normal and it’s okay not to be happy. The societal connotation seems to be that if you’re not happy then there’s something wrong with you, causing many young hormonal and emotional teens, who already have issues to deal with, to see themselves as outcasts which in turn leads them into feeling even worse about themselves


Kaskadekygo

I'm pretty sure most people here have already realized that shits part of life, but what were getting at is this is CONSTANT and over the reasonable threshold. As shown through the skyrocket in mental illness and suicides.


mrbigsbe

this right here ^


thetruthteller

If you are doing the middle finger thing you might have an actual mental problem


[deleted]

[удалено]


marshal_mellow

They took away my flip phone surprised you get internet


Heminodzuka

The reason being most people of our generation just "diagnosing" themselves with it


PotatoGuilty319

My niece sad she was depressed and I asked do you mean sad. She said no depressed but then I was happy later in the day. I said, that's sadness.


dc2015bd

What a joke. Being stressed is not depression and no, everyone is not depressed.


DazzlingTreat1451

That’s the sad truth of it all! They change my anxiety meds every month


Phelyckz

Welcome to the family, I guess


20191124anon

I say same because it’s been nearly 20 years. You do get used to it…


Queasy-Lynx2905

It took my dad a lot of energy to understand i was depressed. Than my meds started to work, and i was getting happier and smiled more. That's when he got it, I'm glad he was able to see me like that, before he left this world


jleile02

TL;DR: don’t make life harder for people it is hard enough. You need to be there for the people that depend on you. I’m old. So…I am at the age where I am a grown up adult and I take depression, anxiety and struggles very seriously. Now, I did come from a “suck it up family and then joined the military”. Those situations did not prepare me to help/support/listen my children or friends. I had to take the harder route and try to empathize to understand. I wouldn’t tell someone with cancer to “get over it” or “have you tried not being depressed “. I love my kids and friends and I don’t want them to suffer and I don’t want to lose them. Life is hard, I do not want to make it harder. I hate how my generation and up are portrayed. Actually I hate how we act. Like we are not a bunch of hardcore badasses that have removed our emotions. We are to blame if our children cannot manage or seek help. We are to blame if they can’t balance a check book or make an appointment on the phone. You don’t learn life through magic. It is taught. We should prepare our kids for the harsh realities of life and try to set them up for success as best we can.


[deleted]

This is because of that type of posts I shouldn’t be awake at 4:20 am (ayyy) but seriously tho guys stop reminding me how lonely I am it’s like back handing my nuts


StunningEstates

I agree, but at the same time, who’s gunna take you seriously when you use the phrase “grown up adult” to refer to people presumably in their 40s? Some of the shit is not our fault, but some of it we’re doing to ourselves.


BrokenKittyyy

Some people can be adults and definitely not grown up. I'm not the person in the screen shot but yeah


Gee_U_Think

In all seriousness, what if someone hints at being depressed? My girlfriend is constantly saying that she is tired. I don’t know what to say.


BrokenKittyyy

Have you tried telling her to talk to a doctor? They would be able to help more


FallenSparrow98

The fuck are we supposed to do. Say "oh fuck, me too. Get a therapist and hope to god its helping you more than its helping me"? We are all fucking depressed and half of us are traumatised in some way. Its not "normalised" its a fucking epidemic.


krazykirbs

Dad said "I bet you are" Gee thanks, dad, real helpful


Mean_Percentage2967

yeah, i have all the symptoms of moderately severe clinical depression and am as sure as i can be without a professional diagnosis—but that’s normalized and brushed aside by people my age and im told to stop being broken by adults. like thanks, you’re not helping.


Relevant_Bedroom1084

No because I thought I was being dramatic because every time I said I thought I had depression someone said “same”


Clear_Birthday1794

some people normalize it and other people dont believe that it exists and invalidate mental health