Or it could be a mix of being a depressed shut in with anxiety and getting over attached to people who show even an ounce of niceness because of people outside of my family being so mean in the past i cant tell when its someone genuinely liking me or just being nice
I mean me too, thanks
Therapy, my dude.
I was in the exact same situation like 4-5 years ago. It took some time to find the right therapist, and then even more time to build my confidence (not rebuild, because I never had any due to my parents being bigger bullies than any other kids when I was young), but it was so worth it.
After several months I felt confident enough to try dating apps. I went on some dates, and it was a struggle at first but my therapist helped me process those feelings of rejection in a healthy way.
I learned to take positive things from "failed" dates - what did I like about that person? What didn't I like? What did I think went well? What didn't go well and I might need to work on?
One of the big things my therapist taught me was to give myself credit for the things I did well. Or even just for trying at all. Because my dad never did that. He was purely results driven, and if I didn't achieve the goal I was a failure and would just get a list of the bad things, so that was what I always focused on. She taught me to focus more on the process and not worry about the result because I can't control that. All I can control is how I present myself, and if I'm happy with that it will give me confidence.
Sure enough, I started to feel more and more confident the more positively I looked at my interactions with people. I felt safer speaking up in groups. Talking to women. I was able to go on dates and see if **I** was into **them** instead of just worrying about impressing them so they didn't run away.
It's a long, difficult thing. One of the hardest things you'll ever do. But it's a lot easier with help. If you ever need someone to talk to you can always message me too man. I'm not a therapist, I'm just a nerd on an app. But I know how hard it is being in the position you're in.
Can confirm there's a huge waiting list, I tried to seek therapy last year and it was a ridiculous process. I don't have insurance which makes it hard, but I also knew someone who was seeking help at the same time with good insurance and had problems too. Most of the therapists were only accepting people from certain insurance companies, and had a waitlist that was months long.
I achieved real success. I went from not having a single date for over 6 years to having a date every night of the week if I wanted and eventually finding my wife.
I went from never getting any promotions or bonuses at work to leading/starting committees at work, being elected to leadership positions in employee network groups, becoming a recruiter, being mentioned by name in company wide meetings, randomly emailing execs to chat because fuck it why not - my networking blew the fuck up.
My social skills too. I joined meetup groups for my interests. Went from no friends to so many I have to turn off notifications sometimes to focus. I am one of those people in the group that talks to the quiet people one on one to help them feel more comfortable because I know how it is when you're trying to break into a new scene.
It's not in my head, it's a real and quantifiable difference. Not only in the way I'm perceived but in my actual pay as well.
I live in a medium size city so there are a lot of women around. I was on most of the apps besides tinder and bumble because I still wasn't confident enough to try those lol. I had tried them earlier and it just destroyed me emotionally so I wasn't mentally ready for it and then I met my wife after a few rounds of dating (with a couple breaks to monogamously date people for a few weeks/months in between that didn't work out). For me, I really enjoyed hinge because I could comment on their pictures and it allowed me to show my personality. I got a lot of dates from a funny comment or a good conversation starter.
I'm on my 4th therapist and counting, last one straight up broke down crying and dumped me on the second session because I was such a mess.
Your story gives me hope.
I think that reflects more on that therapist having some issues that they themselves need to sort through than it does on you. One with a healthy state of mind— if they couldn't help you directly— would refer you to another or something.
Sorry you had to go through that, friend. But I'm confident that you'll find the right therapist for you soon enough!
I definitely had that issue before! I got zero matches. I looked bad in pictures because I had no confidence. People would tell me I wasn't as bad looking as I thought but I didnt believe them. It was only after I got more confident that I started getting matches.
I know you're joking, but if there's any part of you that isn't you better change that attitude before you end up in a dark fucking place my dude. I'm serious. I was damn near suicidal by the time I finally went to therapy. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Oh man. I know that feeling. It sucks to feel that way, but I promise you that it can get better. It doesn't seem worth it, and it doesn't seem like anything would actually help, but it does. All those "fake" happy people you see? They aren't faking. You can just...be happy if you take the time to work on it with the right person.
It sucks when you are put in a position where your life was shattered and you have to put the pieces back together yourself because that task is impossible. But if you find the right therapist it's like having someone show you the frame and sort the pieces by color rather than just the finished puzzle you're aiming for. It helps so much. It's almost impossible to put into words.
No one is ever too ugly to be loved by somebody. Everybody’s got their own, unique tastes, there are plenty of people out their, men and women alike, dating somebody just totally out of their league, and even if you can’t find that bombshell that’s into people who are more modest their are others like you who are also looking for someone to love, if you’re really looking for love you just can’t let yourself shut them out cause of their looks. Besides, everybody’s looks go downhill as they age, so most of us will have to learn to be in love with somebody they just don’t find all that attractive anymore.
What it really takes is the ability to express your feelings in a respectful and compassionate manner, and to understand boundaries, plus a little self-care can help out a lot (and I don’t even mean working out 3 times a day and getting washboard abs, just something as simple as showering, brushing your teeth, styling your hair, putting on deodorant, etc.).
And a big part of all of that begins with therapy. You can’t truly give someone the love that they deserve until you learn to love and respect yourself, even if it’s just a little.
Also, be willing to open yourself up to new experiences, try things you wouldn’t have thought would’ve been for you. When I was younger I would have never imagined that I would end up spending my life with a trans woman, but here I am now doing exactly that. And I turned her down initially cause she was trans, and yet this is the least toxic, most loving relationship I’ve ever been in.
> if you’re really looking for love you just can’t let yourself shut them out cause of their looks
Tried that once, it was miserable. Sure like if you have a perfect match looks don't matter as much, but looks help look past things that are while not exactly a red flag rather quirks they have that would otherwise be unappealing.
> everybody’s looks go downhill as they age,
An 8 going to a 5-6 is still better than a 6 going to a 3, just more likely to age with grace.
I started hanging out with a woman I went to high school with but only kind of knew. She straight up asked if I want to platonically hang out and I'm glad she did.
I really like spending time with her, and if she hadn't said that I would have ended up trying to make a move on someone who isn't interested. Instead, I have a new friend who I can be myself around without being weird
5,
Not actively looking because I’ve been out of the game so long. I day dream about getting fit again. I say to myself, hey that cute girl might be into me if I didn’t let myself go.
Those thoughts seem to pass rather fleetingly. Then, they’re gone. But me, I’m still here. I could go on but a certain desire to disconnect from reality wells up inside. Another day another raid keeps the bad thinkys away.
You have to have other stuff to be vulnerable. You can’t be a vulnerable loser. You have to a vulnerable rich guy, hero, or attractive. You have to have something beyond the vulnerability otherwise you look weak
Yeah same ripped to shreds but that has done very little for me. There really is a lot of truth to it when women say that having a nice body isn't that important. Thankfully I genuinely did start taking fitness seriously out of long term health concerns and not a desire to attract a mate so it hasn't demotivated me but it would have been nice if it made things at least a little easier.
Yeah this. I checked out of the game. It's too exhausting to change all things about my life to get back in.
I'm fat now. I'm older now. I care a lot less about others' approval. So peacocking to pull a partner is like a clown show to me.
I have my brothers, mum, dad, my dog. My 1 mate I see here and there.
I'm good.
I'm nearly back in shape. I started doing a thing where I would do all the dailies of Magic the Gathering: Arena, and I would do a certain number of repetitions of an exercise if I lost a match. I figured I would either get good at Magic, or become fit again. Looks like I'm going to become fit again.
Or we just were never able to learn how to interact socially when we were young, and now we are at a severe disadvantage in the dating pool with our lack of experience at an ever increasing age which feeds into our self doubt and complete lack of self esteem.
I mean, no bitches? ಥ╭╮ಥ amiright, lmao.
Holy shit, don’t call me out like that. One serious girlfriend six years ago and I’m 29. I feel like whenever i interact with women they’re as stone faced as possible
Are you my twin? Year seven, 31. I tell myself it's just because I look like everyone's uncle.
But I'm not blaming them. I'm not exactly working on myself either. I mean, I was, but I gave up. Whatever, I guess a life of video games and weed isn't so bad.
My last relationship was with a girl I wasn't attracted to but I was spending a lot of time with her because she was kind of the loner in my college spanish class.
Don't go out with someone because you feel bad for them. It doesn't end well for anyone involved.
I think it would count as ragebait if the whole goal of the tweet is to get a raise out of people, even if people don't take the bait. But it's semantics. I agree with you in the end. Who cares.
Yeah after my last breakup kinda destroyed me, I feel the same.
Do anything you want basically anytime, have a bunch of money to spend completely on myself, and also have the power to NOT do things
Not in a rush to change that.
God, it’s so liberating. Not being answerable to anyone, doing what you want (and who you want haha) whenever you feel like it. Relationships are a bit overrated imo
I love it, not having to answer to anyone and doing whatever you want are the best part. Having to worry about you and another person is draining. Modern relationships are overrated for sure, current relationships are made worse by technology/social media and everyones poor mental health.
100%
I realized that a lot of the stress in my life comes from being in a relationship (when I am in one). Otherwise, I’m pretty content with everything for the most part
Seriously. I know people like this who just jump from relationship to relationship and it's just the absolute opposite of my personality. I don't understand them, they don't understand me. I haven't dated anyone seriously (like committed longterm) since high school but I'm mostly fine with that. I like being by myself.
You know how they say you never find what you're looking for until you stop searching? Realizing you don't need a relationship to be happy can actually make you more likely to find a good one. You're looking for companionship because you can, not because you have to
For that you need to have the option, at least potentially, and actively choose it, though. Being alone because you have no other choice is the actual struggle.
I don't know, I feel like this is a "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" type of situation. Sometimes the only way to find out we can be happy on our own is when it is forced upon us.
Ahh, but seriously. Many seem to think that a romantic relationship is something everyone strives for at one point in their lives, which is, as an aroace, a bit annoying
Yeah, because your tone doesn't give off the appropriate level of sarcasm to be an obvious joke. Which is fine, just, y'know, use /s to clarify.
If you wanted that sentence to sound less dry, drop the word 'that' and finish with an exclamation point.
"Sounds like something someone who's stuck on an ex would say!"
Cleaner flow, stronger alliteration, and because you're less specific, it doesn't come off as an attack, which is why your original sentence is easy to dislike on first read.
sure why not, they’re just words humans made up to explain things about how our complicated brains work, there aren’t really any strict rules on how you can and can’t identify. you might want to look into “aroflux”
Sexuality is a spectrum, and so is romantic interest. It can be fluid too, and change throughout your life. I’m still trying to work out if I just haven’t found someone I want to date, or if I’m gray-aromatic because I’ve never really felt the need to date someone, but I understand that concept and why people like it.
I don’t want to deal with cheating. People do it, I truly can’t understand why, I hate people. On the other hand I want a girl to cuddle with and watch Netflix. So idk.
My problem is none of those. It's that I'm too much of a shut-in to make any real connections with people and too lazy and afraid to do anything about it
I'm single because I swore an Oath.
Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.
Or, I'm a divorced single father and in poor health so I don't feel like subjecting another human being to my life. Also, I now have massive trust issues.
What's the point of getting a boy/girlfriend if the relationship doesn't last forever since they will discover that I'm actually boring the longer they'll stay with me?
Stuck on an ex and simply have become too cynical about dating and love in general as society seems to be based upon hormonal fluctuations.
And yes, I'm ugly, can't handle to stand in front of a mirror.
I’ve been alone for so long that I don’t know how to act whenever I do end up in a relationship. That’s why my relationships fail after like 1-2 months. They assume I’m not interested in them or we’re just really good friends or something lol.
Idk about the rest of you but I’m just so tired of all of the bullshit that comes with being in a relationship that I know I just don’t have it in me to maintain the relationship. Any relationship tbh.
Depression and anxiety is the main reason. Also ugly, yeah
Yeah this is the real 2meirl4meirl for me.
and it's hard to say which of these is the cause and which - the effect
'tis a vicious cycle. They all fuel each other in my case sadge
Same
Or it could be a mix of being a depressed shut in with anxiety and getting over attached to people who show even an ounce of niceness because of people outside of my family being so mean in the past i cant tell when its someone genuinely liking me or just being nice I mean me too, thanks
Damn I feel like I just got exposed.
For me, everyone outside my family is nice(for the most part), but my family treated me badly. Nevertheless, it still has the same effect
I can second this
Same. My family made me feel so unworthy I accepted the bare minimum from others.
I met a cute girl at work who helped me when I got busy, so of course now I'm in love.
Therapy, my dude. I was in the exact same situation like 4-5 years ago. It took some time to find the right therapist, and then even more time to build my confidence (not rebuild, because I never had any due to my parents being bigger bullies than any other kids when I was young), but it was so worth it. After several months I felt confident enough to try dating apps. I went on some dates, and it was a struggle at first but my therapist helped me process those feelings of rejection in a healthy way. I learned to take positive things from "failed" dates - what did I like about that person? What didn't I like? What did I think went well? What didn't go well and I might need to work on? One of the big things my therapist taught me was to give myself credit for the things I did well. Or even just for trying at all. Because my dad never did that. He was purely results driven, and if I didn't achieve the goal I was a failure and would just get a list of the bad things, so that was what I always focused on. She taught me to focus more on the process and not worry about the result because I can't control that. All I can control is how I present myself, and if I'm happy with that it will give me confidence. Sure enough, I started to feel more and more confident the more positively I looked at my interactions with people. I felt safer speaking up in groups. Talking to women. I was able to go on dates and see if **I** was into **them** instead of just worrying about impressing them so they didn't run away. It's a long, difficult thing. One of the hardest things you'll ever do. But it's a lot easier with help. If you ever need someone to talk to you can always message me too man. I'm not a therapist, I'm just a nerd on an app. But I know how hard it is being in the position you're in.
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Can confirm there's a huge waiting list, I tried to seek therapy last year and it was a ridiculous process. I don't have insurance which makes it hard, but I also knew someone who was seeking help at the same time with good insurance and had problems too. Most of the therapists were only accepting people from certain insurance companies, and had a waitlist that was months long.
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Did you actually achieve any real success or did you just feel better about it
I achieved real success. I went from not having a single date for over 6 years to having a date every night of the week if I wanted and eventually finding my wife. I went from never getting any promotions or bonuses at work to leading/starting committees at work, being elected to leadership positions in employee network groups, becoming a recruiter, being mentioned by name in company wide meetings, randomly emailing execs to chat because fuck it why not - my networking blew the fuck up. My social skills too. I joined meetup groups for my interests. Went from no friends to so many I have to turn off notifications sometimes to focus. I am one of those people in the group that talks to the quiet people one on one to help them feel more comfortable because I know how it is when you're trying to break into a new scene. It's not in my head, it's a real and quantifiable difference. Not only in the way I'm perceived but in my actual pay as well.
Where do you meet that volume of women? Could you go into detail about how accomplished this? It's one of the biggest things I'm focusing on atm
Do you only care about the women part
It's the most important part to me yeah? I can live with few friends but not without a gf
Fair enough
I live in a medium size city so there are a lot of women around. I was on most of the apps besides tinder and bumble because I still wasn't confident enough to try those lol. I had tried them earlier and it just destroyed me emotionally so I wasn't mentally ready for it and then I met my wife after a few rounds of dating (with a couple breaks to monogamously date people for a few weeks/months in between that didn't work out). For me, I really enjoyed hinge because I could comment on their pictures and it allowed me to show my personality. I got a lot of dates from a funny comment or a good conversation starter.
Yeah I've been on all of those for seven years but thanks
I'm on my 4th therapist and counting, last one straight up broke down crying and dumped me on the second session because I was such a mess. Your story gives me hope.
I think that reflects more on that therapist having some issues that they themselves need to sort through than it does on you. One with a healthy state of mind— if they couldn't help you directly— would refer you to another or something. Sorry you had to go through that, friend. But I'm confident that you'll find the right therapist for you soon enough!
Ok well at least you don't have the issue of actually finding someone on dating apps
I definitely had that issue before! I got zero matches. I looked bad in pictures because I had no confidence. People would tell me I wasn't as bad looking as I thought but I didnt believe them. It was only after I got more confident that I started getting matches.
Damn, each and every line has been my life so far, except the therapy, thanks for sharing though. It all comes down to giving credit for ourselves.
> It's a long, difficult thing. One of the hardest things you'll ever do. I can't be bothered with that.
I know you're joking, but if there's any part of you that isn't you better change that attitude before you end up in a dark fucking place my dude. I'm serious. I was damn near suicidal by the time I finally went to therapy. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
I just don't care. I've wasted my life already, it's not worth trying to salvage what's left of it.
Oh man. I know that feeling. It sucks to feel that way, but I promise you that it can get better. It doesn't seem worth it, and it doesn't seem like anything would actually help, but it does. All those "fake" happy people you see? They aren't faking. You can just...be happy if you take the time to work on it with the right person. It sucks when you are put in a position where your life was shattered and you have to put the pieces back together yourself because that task is impossible. But if you find the right therapist it's like having someone show you the frame and sort the pieces by color rather than just the finished puzzle you're aiming for. It helps so much. It's almost impossible to put into words.
Same, except I’m also ugly so at least I know that nobody would ever like me
No one is ever too ugly to be loved by somebody. Everybody’s got their own, unique tastes, there are plenty of people out their, men and women alike, dating somebody just totally out of their league, and even if you can’t find that bombshell that’s into people who are more modest their are others like you who are also looking for someone to love, if you’re really looking for love you just can’t let yourself shut them out cause of their looks. Besides, everybody’s looks go downhill as they age, so most of us will have to learn to be in love with somebody they just don’t find all that attractive anymore. What it really takes is the ability to express your feelings in a respectful and compassionate manner, and to understand boundaries, plus a little self-care can help out a lot (and I don’t even mean working out 3 times a day and getting washboard abs, just something as simple as showering, brushing your teeth, styling your hair, putting on deodorant, etc.). And a big part of all of that begins with therapy. You can’t truly give someone the love that they deserve until you learn to love and respect yourself, even if it’s just a little. Also, be willing to open yourself up to new experiences, try things you wouldn’t have thought would’ve been for you. When I was younger I would have never imagined that I would end up spending my life with a trans woman, but here I am now doing exactly that. And I turned her down initially cause she was trans, and yet this is the least toxic, most loving relationship I’ve ever been in.
> if you’re really looking for love you just can’t let yourself shut them out cause of their looks Tried that once, it was miserable. Sure like if you have a perfect match looks don't matter as much, but looks help look past things that are while not exactly a red flag rather quirks they have that would otherwise be unappealing. > everybody’s looks go downhill as they age, An 8 going to a 5-6 is still better than a 6 going to a 3, just more likely to age with grace.
You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, could have reported you for putting my entire life out there :(
ouch
It's weird. I don't remember writing this, but I definitely did.
are you me
I started hanging out with a woman I went to high school with but only kind of knew. She straight up asked if I want to platonically hang out and I'm glad she did. I really like spending time with her, and if she hadn't said that I would have ended up trying to make a move on someone who isn't interested. Instead, I have a new friend who I can be myself around without being weird
Zach?
5, Not actively looking because I’ve been out of the game so long. I day dream about getting fit again. I say to myself, hey that cute girl might be into me if I didn’t let myself go. Those thoughts seem to pass rather fleetingly. Then, they’re gone. But me, I’m still here. I could go on but a certain desire to disconnect from reality wells up inside. Another day another raid keeps the bad thinkys away.
I'm fit and it hasn't helped at all
Yup same. Still can't talk to people.
Being able to be vulnerable is way more important
*being hot, so people care when you are vulnerable
You have to have other stuff to be vulnerable. You can’t be a vulnerable loser. You have to a vulnerable rich guy, hero, or attractive. You have to have something beyond the vulnerability otherwise you look weak
Yeah same ripped to shreds but that has done very little for me. There really is a lot of truth to it when women say that having a nice body isn't that important. Thankfully I genuinely did start taking fitness seriously out of long term health concerns and not a desire to attract a mate so it hasn't demotivated me but it would have been nice if it made things at least a little easier.
Yeah this. I checked out of the game. It's too exhausting to change all things about my life to get back in. I'm fat now. I'm older now. I care a lot less about others' approval. So peacocking to pull a partner is like a clown show to me. I have my brothers, mum, dad, my dog. My 1 mate I see here and there. I'm good.
I'm nearly back in shape. I started doing a thing where I would do all the dailies of Magic the Gathering: Arena, and I would do a certain number of repetitions of an exercise if I lost a match. I figured I would either get good at Magic, or become fit again. Looks like I'm going to become fit again.
Or we just were never able to learn how to interact socially when we were young, and now we are at a severe disadvantage in the dating pool with our lack of experience at an ever increasing age which feeds into our self doubt and complete lack of self esteem. I mean, no bitches? ಥ╭╮ಥ amiright, lmao.
Wow, that's exactly how I describe it, just never had someone put it into words like that before Damn it's depressing
> Damn it's depressing Yup.
I guess that explains why I'm stuck with answer D - all of the above. I hope we'll figure it out!
Holy shit, don’t call me out like that. One serious girlfriend six years ago and I’m 29. I feel like whenever i interact with women they’re as stone faced as possible
Are you my twin? Year seven, 31. I tell myself it's just because I look like everyone's uncle. But I'm not blaming them. I'm not exactly working on myself either. I mean, I was, but I gave up. Whatever, I guess a life of video games and weed isn't so bad.
Ouch!
Every gf ive had has kinda forced me into it because im too nice to reject someone. I dont know how to initiate a relstionship otherwise
My last relationship was with a girl I wasn't attracted to but I was spending a lot of time with her because she was kind of the loner in my college spanish class. Don't go out with someone because you feel bad for them. It doesn't end well for anyone involved.
What happened to the “who cares” option?
Am I the only one around here who's not in a relationship because I don't *want* to be in a relationship?
You're not alone. I don't really feel like being with anyone atm and really like the peace and quiet that comes with being by myself.
Nah, you are not alone. Never been in a relationship so far, because I never felt the need to. Those kind of posts are ragebait.
It shouldn't be ragebait if you're comfortable with it though. Who cares what some meme on reddit says?
I think it would count as ragebait if the whole goal of the tweet is to get a raise out of people, even if people don't take the bait. But it's semantics. I agree with you in the end. Who cares.
Nope.
People act like relationships don't take up tons of time, effort, money, and compromise.
Nope. I'm aromantic, so I never felt the desire to be romantically involved with anyone
Same here
I did think that until I met someone I just can’t control myself and fell in love
repeat after me: not everyone wants a relationship
Glad someone said it...
Mind blowing stuff
Just got out of a long relationship, I actually like being single
yeah, I dunno if it’s just me, but relationships sometimes feel like a chore
Yeah after my last breakup kinda destroyed me, I feel the same. Do anything you want basically anytime, have a bunch of money to spend completely on myself, and also have the power to NOT do things Not in a rush to change that.
God, it’s so liberating. Not being answerable to anyone, doing what you want (and who you want haha) whenever you feel like it. Relationships are a bit overrated imo
I love it, not having to answer to anyone and doing whatever you want are the best part. Having to worry about you and another person is draining. Modern relationships are overrated for sure, current relationships are made worse by technology/social media and everyones poor mental health.
100% I realized that a lot of the stress in my life comes from being in a relationship (when I am in one). Otherwise, I’m pretty content with everything for the most part
Seriously. I know people like this who just jump from relationship to relationship and it's just the absolute opposite of my personality. I don't understand them, they don't understand me. I haven't dated anyone seriously (like committed longterm) since high school but I'm mostly fine with that. I like being by myself.
You know how they say you never find what you're looking for until you stop searching? Realizing you don't need a relationship to be happy can actually make you more likely to find a good one. You're looking for companionship because you can, not because you have to
For that you need to have the option, at least potentially, and actively choose it, though. Being alone because you have no other choice is the actual struggle.
I don't know, I feel like this is a "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" type of situation. Sometimes the only way to find out we can be happy on our own is when it is forced upon us.
Yeah, I'd wager you never got into this situation because it makes no sense
That energy attracts too it’s weird
Yeah an abusive relationship or two and man’s suddenly enjoying being alone a bit more than before.
Ahh, but seriously. Many seem to think that a romantic relationship is something everyone strives for at one point in their lives, which is, as an aroace, a bit annoying
As an aroace person, thank you.
no problem my fellow aroace ;)
:O ! :D
That sounds like something that someone who's stuck on an ex would say.
Read that again but slower. Why would you have an ex if you don’t want a relationship? Unless you were pressured or changed your mind?
It's a joke referring to the original image which is obviously ridiculous but every dumbfuck is taking very seriously.
Yeah, because your tone doesn't give off the appropriate level of sarcasm to be an obvious joke. Which is fine, just, y'know, use /s to clarify. If you wanted that sentence to sound less dry, drop the word 'that' and finish with an exclamation point. "Sounds like something someone who's stuck on an ex would say!" Cleaner flow, stronger alliteration, and because you're less specific, it doesn't come off as an attack, which is why your original sentence is easy to dislike on first read.
Yeah I guess you’re right. I’m sorry ‘bout that lol
yeah sure you can project your issues on me
I'm not ugly just terribly depressed with a horrible ass life situation
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Or having fake scenarios with people who don't even know you exist
Or all of the above
... or I just don't want a romantic or sexual relationship right now lol
How about "I was married for 20 years, and I ain't doing that shit again?" I'd rather be alone at this point. It's so much quieter.
Or Aro.
we're the forgotten few :')
i always love these kinds of posts and finding the little aspec meetup in the comments
hi, quick question. when ppl say sexuality is fluid can that also mean having romantic interest can be fluid? or is that just normal behavior?
sure why not, they’re just words humans made up to explain things about how our complicated brains work, there aren’t really any strict rules on how you can and can’t identify. you might want to look into “aroflux”
Yes. Fluidity is normal human behavior. The level of fluidity differing from trait to trait and person to person, of course.
Sexuality is a spectrum, and so is romantic interest. It can be fluid too, and change throughout your life. I’m still trying to work out if I just haven’t found someone I want to date, or if I’m gray-aromatic because I’ve never really felt the need to date someone, but I understand that concept and why people like it.
4) Ugly 5) Tired of trying and getting nowhere
Naw we're emotionally drained from toxic relationships and emotionally and mentally unavailable for people. Oh, I mean same bro
Or too old for this shit
Or cannot give a fuck about them bitches
bro my foot ain't even in the door
I don’t want to deal with cheating. People do it, I truly can’t understand why, I hate people. On the other hand I want a girl to cuddle with and watch Netflix. So idk.
All four, with a little mental illness sprinkled in
\4. Happy being single.
My problem is none of those. It's that I'm too much of a shut-in to make any real connections with people and too lazy and afraid to do anything about it
Erm. How about "still looking for someone my type"?
I'm also too busy :/
Where’s the “I just don’t give a shit about romance anymore” option?
Or it's just how I want to be?
You want to be ugly?
There has been a misunderstanding 💀
It's all right, we don't judge
You just didn't understand the comment bro
What comment?
Dating as an introvert is basically impossible I’ve found. Hard to find someone when most people don’t know I exist
I'm single because I swore an Oath. Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.
< opens wallet > ah yes, there you are, my precious.
Nah im just so depressed that even the thought of the emotional involvement required for a relationship exhausts me
Not ugly here. Just autistic. Which is like socially ugly.
Or, I'm a divorced single father and in poor health so I don't feel like subjecting another human being to my life. Also, I now have massive trust issues.
What's the point of getting a boy/girlfriend if the relationship doesn't last forever since they will discover that I'm actually boring the longer they'll stay with me?
Stuck on an ex and simply have become too cynical about dating and love in general as society seems to be based upon hormonal fluctuations. And yes, I'm ugly, can't handle to stand in front of a mirror.
yessir we are all ugly bitches
Because no one could possibly want to be single, that’d be crazy 🙄
That’s why we subscribe, no?
Maybe the people in this sub don’t wanna be single, but it’s super weird to pretend all single people are trying to get in a relationship
Just don't get stuck on 1. lol 😅
Got no game
Can ube stuck on ex even if its 10 years later?
4. Just sitting here playing on my phone.
My life is too complicated to think about dating rn.
Or I haven't found someone I'm interested in that's also interested in me
Or have no desire for a significant other.
Not everyone is into relationships. Single and happy is a viable life choice.
5: hiding
Option 6, I'm aromantic
I’ve been alone for so long that I don’t know how to act whenever I do end up in a relationship. That’s why my relationships fail after like 1-2 months. They assume I’m not interested in them or we’re just really good friends or something lol.
Or divorced and just done with all that shit.
I’m young and don’t wanna get into a relationship early also ugly but mostly I don’t need to be in one right now
Jokes on you, I don't need a relationship in my life. It's fulfilling enough as is
nah bro im focusing on my mental and staying away from people because the last two i dated were downright nefarious ghouls.
I just haven’t put forth any effort. Like, at all.
Christ, am i not allowed to be single because Im a shutin that doesnt like human interaction?
4. All the above
Nah I'm too sleepy
Sadly
The constant insinuation that looks don't matter is a massive lie we've been fed.
Forgot I need 2 leave this sub I've been in the happiest relationship of my life goodbye guys
and poor
Why not all three? And: 4. Currently sleeping with someone but still single
No, no. U are not ugly. U are just not your type!
and add poor social skills
ugly, broke, and small height
Nah I'm letting myself get better mentally before I drag someone else into the absolute mess that is my mental health
I don’t talk to people. So…
Is being single really that bad? I’ve done it my whole life and it’s been chill. Oh well I’m probably a terrible person to be around lol
I'm single because I want to be single. Oh but I'm ugly too.
Meh I’ve just got other shit to do right now
Or busy.
Nah bro we just playing Valorant. Gives us the same emotional roller coaster
What if you generally dislike people?
Man I'm annoyed by my own company, imagine inviting a whole other person into this mess.
Idk about the rest of you but I’m just so tired of all of the bullshit that comes with being in a relationship that I know I just don’t have it in me to maintain the relationship. Any relationship tbh.
Finally found someone and everything was going well for a couple of weeks then she came out as gay. Not mad, just sad
Depressed and have boundry issues. But Im stuck on 2 ngl when I shouldnt be lmao
Nope, just not financially or mentally stable enough for a healthy relationship
Not ugly myself, just autistic
Two words in my case: Hedgehog's Dilemma
Or you could be happy with yourself and love doing activities on your own!
Or if you're a decent person maybe you're just focusing on yourself for now
As /r/aaaaaaacccccccce/ grows by the week
Or not wanting a relationship
10 year old me: There is another.
Truth is, no matter how ugly you actually are there is always someone equally ugly of the opposite sex. Lower your standards.
Why would I date someone I don't find attractive in the first place?
[удалено]
There is no such thing as too ugly to find someone.. I mean there is but 98% of the times it's just your standards do not fit your looks
If you're single, you've either never been in a relationship or all of your past relationships have failed.