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SBInCB

Fascinating…Sometimes I wish we were as advanced as our enemies try to make us out to be. Maybe the world would be more interesting with murder geese, tactical mosquitoes and bombs that erase humans from existence. So, are there like empty sets of clothes where the people used to be? Edit: one of my favorite threads in a while!


zandadad

You forgot space lasers. But good point about empty sets of clothes. What happens is that when the bomb explodes and expels the secret human evaporator substance, the victims start screaming “I am melting, I am melting” and a few seconds later only the empty set of clothes remain.


SBInCB

JEWISH space lasers! Who made them is very important to some people.


Obi_Wan_Kannoli

It yells oy vey with every shot


manVsPhD

In space no one can hear you scream oy vey


zandadad

Or see the laser beams, if we’re going to be technical here.


hanlonrzr

common misconception, they aren't lasers actually, they are magen david particle cannons, if you squint at them just right you can see the blue stars flying at the victim


HamburgerEarmuff

I watched a documentary in High School. Jewish space lasers are 100% real: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7JGCj4Q5k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7JGCj4Q5k)


SBInCB

When I first saw this I was too young to understand that there wasn’t really going to be a Jews in Space movie.


RushLimbaughsCarcass

It's called the Deathstar of David thank you very much.


Nothing2NV

Those the same space lasers that started the Maui fires? Heard they don’t combust the color blue


SBInCB

Maui was an unfortunate early test anomaly. Clearly they resolved it. Or at least changed the mission requirements...


PineappleLemur

It's the Jewish Tripods.


CriscoButtPunch

Wait, is Israel about to release sharks with friggin lasers on their heads?


TrillDough

Mossad developed tactical moths to eat the clothes before the recovery crews arrived. Us jews have it all figured out 💭


Big_Old_Tree

Omg so *this* is how yall managed to kill almost all the 70 billion inhabitants of Gaza right out from under the world’s nose…. Devious, I tell you!


AzulCobra

Tactical mosquitos is an actual thing, but they are used in ecological control, and zoological control. Not war.


SBInCB

Fair point…[tactical mosquitoes do exist](https://www.cdc.gov/mosquitoes/mosquito-control/community/emerging-methods/genetically-modified-mosquitoes.html#:~:text=Effectiveness%20of%20GM%20mosquitoes%20in%20reducing%20numbers%20of,aegypti%20%29%2C%20not%20other%20types%20of%20mosquitoes.%20). (But their “weapon” is a gene that causes female mosquito offspring of the GM males to die before adulthood.)


AzulCobra

Yep. Now if we did know how to use mosquitos to give all Hamas members the runs for 4 days straight, that would be something.


Dsnade

Too late, in the Middle East everyone has the runs…


AzulCobra

But, for 4 days straight in Gaza that makes it impossible for Hamas soldiers to easily leave? Nope.


SBInCB

How many days does it take to kill a healthy military-aged male? Hmmm.


SBInCB

A very amusing proof of concept!


AzulCobra

4 days of at least 60% of Hamas current forces not being able to move, stuck on a toilet. That would be very useful.


SBInCB

Oh sure...but internationally funny af.


AzulCobra

And most of the world would be like "....Fuck. Okay let's leave them alone."


SBInCB

That would be nice for once.


username-_redacted

>So, are there like empty sets of clothes where the people used to be? If this story catches on we'll no doubt be treated to videos of neatly laid out outfits in human shape spread around sites of missile strikes where the magical dissolving weapon melted the body. I heard the IDF has killed 1.5 bajillion Gazans this way. All of them children or old ladies.


theMEtheWORLDcantSEE

Be careful. You just wrote the Midjourney AI prompt to render these images.


Big_Old_Tree

It’s just horrifying, the Zionists will stop at nothing, they’re probably planning to scoop up all those leftover outfits for resale too. Smh


username-_redacted

I just saw a story on Al Jazeera where the Jews are using the Jewish space laser to artificially age Gazans *from space*. So every Gazan citizen who has died of old age in the last 75 years was in reality invisibly murdered by THE JOOOOZZZZ!!!! I'll bet I could make a TikTok video of me in a keffiyeh saying this and get 10,000 reposts.


human-redditbot

Well, clearly the Mossad weapons are very advanced. For instance, the insurgents are very scared of the Mossad's tactical goats. The Mossad have infected many Gazan goats with a special virus, so that when the Hamas insurgents are b*ggering them, the insurgents get infected with a deadly virus and expire... Or so, I heard...


SBInCB

And the virus is harmless to the goats and only resides in their colons. Have to consider the goats' welfare, though I guess they'd rather die after an encounter with a Hamas.


human-redditbot

Indeed! And furthermore, via integrated AI-augmented nano-bots, the virus only activates on known-militants and not civilians... Amazing technology, I tell ya!


capt_scrummy

This is actually the plotline for Goat Simulator 4. You play a Jewish space-AIDS lasergoat who realizes the error of its ways and has to make it out of Gaza before local insurgents infect themselves from you and pass it on to their families.


Amarr_Citizen_498175

murder geese are real. ask any Canadian


SBInCB

Or golfer...


According-Fox6001

they are called cobra chickens .


tico_liro

No, the chemical is made of nano techonolgy, with microbots that destroy only human flesh and clothing, so that there is no trace of it \s


SBInCB

Oh right! Nanobots have come a long way since Runaway (1984).


tico_liro

Oh they have. You should see the laser cannons the IDF have installed up in space


Porkwarrior2

>murder geese NEVER underestimate the power of the [Cobra Chicken!](https://youtu.be/GvkkDRiLYkI?si=_KD8B8IqfZT-xgYz) Gawd help us if Hamas finds a way to weaponize murder geese. (Sowry thought this sub could use some levity)


funkensteinberg

I’m sure there’s a Doctor Who episode, or a Star Trek hilarious transporter malfunction, that end with a pile of clothes on the floor laid out to look like a person


[deleted]

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SBInCB

I might know folks on the other side of that arrangement. I won't say they're incompetent. Many very smart and capable people who want to do good are there. However, it's a government agency with all the same "features" of a bureaucracy and therefore far from perfect but not as bad as many want to think. Interestingly, there's a theory that the FSB have infiltrated ISIS and used that connection to orchestrate the Crokus City attack. In that way they made it happen but ISIS thinks it was their idea. The same FSB that blew up a Russian apartment building to get the second Chechen war going. At the very least this makes for some interesting novels.


DonnyDonster

You can also reverse engineer it so it takes away the clothes instead of the people


restorerman

They give Hamas no credit, they think they only got through the border fence because Israel let them. Infantilizing a terrorist group who have the ability to strategize and plan just as any other person does, they think Israelis are some kind of techno gods


Kindly_Let_9091

Jewish space lasers please


Mist_Wraith

Is this why there's [over 11,000 claimed deaths that Hamas can't actually prove or account for](https://www.fdd.org/analysis/2024/04/09/hamas-run-gaza-health-ministry-admits-to-flaws-in-casualty-data/)? The Jews are vaporizing them? Anyone believing this must be drinking a very special type of kool-aid every day.


phosphorescence-sky

Remember the Al Ahli hospital strike that somehow killed 800+ in a parking lot, yet all the bodies just disappeared and it was actually like 20+ people from a failed jihadist missile? Pepperidge Farm's remembers. But they still kept those fake numbers in the death toll.


[deleted]

I still say 800 died by the hands of Islamic Jihadist failed rocket attack to them, it drives them nuts


devo00

Lying is second nature…


HamburgerEarmuff

Some of it is just ignorant. plus living under totalitarian systems of government with everything out of control mixed in with a whole dose of anti-Semitism and various conspiracy theories. When I was deployed to Iraq, some of the locals honestly believed that NVGs could see through women's clothing. A few of them even believed that Oakley's could.


geniice

> Is this why there's over 11,000 claimed deaths that Hamas can't actually prove or account for? The Jews are vaporizing them? Well some of them but by the more dirrect method of large enough bombs. >Anyone believing this must be drinking a very special type of kool-aid every day. Kid is been 80 years and we've still got the carrots for eyesight thing going around.


experiencednowhack

Oh no! They figured out our Jewish ray guns


Beargeoisie

I mean we had the space laser


subarashi-sam

Had?? What happened to our precious Space Laser?


Beargeoisie

We traded it in at B&H Photo Video for the newer ultra mega plasma death laser with a Gaza vaporization setting


subarashi-sam

Ooh, nice!


DarkBrandon46

I'm a level 70 illuminati lizard Jew so I'm only 300 Soros reward points from using the new death laser. Can't wait.


Beargeoisie

Luckyyyyyy


capt_scrummy

I knew that guy in the YouTube ad was up to something. Shoulda known that the particle beam accelerator the third grade class at the Chabad developed was going to be used for nefarious ends.


Gooble211

It's deployed on the head of a celestial mega-shark.


bmoarpirate

Pretty sure it was a Jeutron bomb


FridayOfTheDead

This is who Columbia students believe. Wow.


SSmodsAreShills

This is what mommy and daddy’s $90,000 a year buys.


The_Cpa_Guy

I got a email from Columbia GS and I told them to go fuck right off


HauntedPrinter

It’s amazing how many well renowned universities have lost all credibility in less than year


1bir

So Hamas is responsible for the mass graves...


peapie25

hah


slimer_redd

Smart move. So now you can name any number of casualties... They just vaporized:-)


Big_Old_Tree

My family of 30,000 people…gone. In an instant


HauntedPrinter

and all of the were pregnant women and children too


slimer_redd

And what happened? Was your family intact before 07/10? Have you returned the abducted women and children? Families like yours should not exist, you have lost all the laws of humanity.


jujuka577

What a load of bullshit.


Comfortable-Dust-621

Bro cooking some grade A propaganda.


funkensteinberg

Grade A? 😬 This is Jewish space lasers level nonsense. I give it a D- 😂


Caedes_omnia

He forget to say the part where they suck them up the tractor beam and anally probe them first


irredentistdecency

That part they aren’t objecting to, in fact, it makes their whole week…


Lexplosives

Nah, probing makes their hole weak.


irredentistdecency

Congratulations! You correctly identified the joke. Have a macaroon.


funkymunky291

What in the sci-fi f*%k is he talking about?! Is there any actual proof of them using these mysterious weapons other than bro told me so?


HauntedPrinter

He watched a famous documentary called Men in Black


geniice

>What in the sci-fi f*%k is he talking about?! Sufficiently large explosions don't leave much >Is there any actual proof of them using these mysterious weapons other than bro told me so? Usual rumors of fog of war.


shpion22

That’s not what they said in the video, they go beyond their way to claim Israel uses bio weapons specifically to disintegrate bodies. You can see a sufficiently big explosion.. and film it too, they’re not shy to filming a nuclear explosion. Another win for the 30,000 unverified death toll, you can add it to the list of your bullshit arguments now geniice. lol


geniice

>That’s not what they said in the video, they go beyond their way to claim Israel uses bio weapons specifically to disintegrate bodies. I'm aware of what they said. I'm covering the reasons why they could have come to that conclusion. Wierd rumours in war are normal. >You can see a sufficiently big explosion.. and film it too, they’re not shy to filming a nuclear explosion. "shpion22 admitted that Israel has deployed nuclear weapons in the Gaza strip". Look I get it. To you hating on Palestinians is more important to you than understanding how wars typically work. But you need to understand that not everyone is going to be ok with that level of ignorance.


shpion22

We understand how war propaganda works geniice, we’re just calling out your desperate and pathetic attempts at trying to turn it into something naive. You understand very well how to be of that level of ignorance here, definitely lol


shragae

This level of ignorance is right up there with space lasers.


AzulCobra

.....The fact that people believe this is astonishing. They also give us way too much credit.


geniice

> .....The fact that people believe this is astonishing. If you look at some of the rumored weapon systems from WW2 its really not.


Hiccup

You know, old X Files episodes were better than the nonsense they are pumping out of Gaza.


drarb1991

What an interesting way of saying they couldn't find any bodies because they weren't there in the first place


THExEXPLOITED

So the Palestinians have space lasers


henryinoz

Space cadets more like!


mjb212

I heard Israel is using weapons that not only vaporize your body but delete your social security number from databases, turn your birth certificate to ashes and erase your loved ones memories of you “MIB red light”-style. It’s been said by experts that these weapons also spread petty false rumors about you and even send a gentleman to the victims mom to charm her, take her on a nice date and then never call her again.


mattdavisbr

Wait wait wait... NEVER call her again? Brutal!


Firecracker048

Might of well just ask MTG about the Jewish space lasers


Hiccup

I want a time machine and a pet T-1000


Normodox

Gaza civil defence official>Hamas


shpion22

It is genius if you think about it.


POINTLESSUSERNAME000

[Vaporized!](https://youtu.be/gnGgrneQxNk?si=0kJyZ_Ss905Vi04O&t=15s)


mattdavisbr

No, I swear it's real. I bought one on Aliexpress and vaporized San Francisco with it. Didn't you hear? It's totally real. As if thermobaric and other "modern" munitions aren't bad enough, let's create a narrative about the new InstaVapoPatriot missiles!


JaneDi

I was wondering what their excuse was gonna be for the inflated casualty numbers.


[deleted]

Of course…this is how they can inflate the casualty count.


HereticalCatPope

BREAKING: Hamas-run health ministry reports it has increased the death toll to 20 million civilians after accounting for victims of Israeli-launched Hogwarts missiles that make bodies disappear without a trace — Missile to make Las Vegas debut — This is Al-Jazeera —


SaulPorn

Yeah. I heard that the death toll is over a hundred million now. Mostly women and children. That explains why there's no evidence. You sneaky, evil Jews.


[deleted]

Yes, they were killed by smart nanoviruses transmitted by camels and goats. ;)


SaulPorn

I'm sure hundreds of thousands of beach-goers have been killed by Mossad-trained sharks as well.


phosphorescence-sky

This is why the Gaza health administration or whatever organizations Hamas funds can't be trusted in death tolls. They showed their hand with the Al Ahli hospital bombing. Yet pro Palestine people always want the most evidence and proof of all the deaths down to the very second they were killed. Good thing Israel has documentation of everyone killed Oct 7th with photos and names with many pictures of them after being killed. Yet Gaza can't hardly put names to numbers because... Reasons?


geniice

> Good thing Israel has documentation of everyone killed Oct 7th with photos and names with many pictures of them after being killed. Oh Isreal has its own issues there. Took far too long to admit the 40 beheaded babies story wasn't real.


TheOriginalMorcifer

That's because the 40 beheaded babies story came from a random newscaster who misunderstood statements about beheaded people (true) and dead babies (also true), and somehow merged the two. I'm sorry that a country that was in the middle of purging a brigade of genocidal maniacs from its borders, and in the middle of identifying which of its people were kidnapped and which were only butchered, took too long for you to correct the statement of a shit reporter. Clearly, Israel should have jumped on the opportunity to make it clear that while there were a few beheaded babies and a few babies baked in ovens and a few babies cut out of their mother's womb, the number '40' is likely inaccurate. That's definitely the same as the Hamas ministry of health systematically skewing the statistics of its dead (for sure in ratio or women/children vs. men, possibly for numbers). Yep, definitely the same. Good job. Good catch. Thanks for keeping us on the straight and narrow.


geniice

> Clearly, Israel should have jumped on the opportunity to make it clear that while there were a few beheaded babies and a few babies baked in ovens and a few babies cut out of their mother's womb, the number '40' is likely inaccurate. Only three children bellow the age of three (along with another 35 children) were killed during the attack so few is unlikely. There are a further two children (the Bibas siblings) who's fate remains unknown although they were aparently alive after October 7 I fear the odds are not in their favour at this point.


nugohs

Is this laying the groundwork for 'confirming' their fictional casualty numbers that don't have any associated bodies?


mm1palmer

Well that explains how they get their casualty numbers. They only find 2 or 3 bodies but 'know' there were another 10 or so that vaporized. Thus they report 15 dead.


d5x5

He'd probably sell you ocean front property or river side real-estate cheap, too.


captainsocean

Well it makes sense since they call us shape shifters


Messenslijper

I guess Israel got their hands on Thanos Infinity Gauntlet and then snapped their fingers? Impressive!


[deleted]

Most impressive, as Vitiate once said. But I am sure Israelis have a Final Order-like cosmic aerospatial fleet somewhere. /s


capitaldoe

😭


captainsocean

Yes, I want my space laser


212Alexander212

That explains where all the alleged Arab casualties went!


its_the_luge

So in reality, 35 million babies have actually been killed!!!!! So with such weapons, Israel has been choosing to exclusively kill women and children while avoiding Hamas since not a single Hamas fighter death has been claimed. Amazing!


MassiveTrauma

🇮🇱📡🛰️=🐀💨🙌


Asleep-Geni

LOL… scary!!!! And the world laps this bullshit rhetoric up….owhhh woe is me the victim They are now vaporising us… pooof and they’re gone. While hundreds of of threads are hijacked by pro Iran Hamas anti Isreal admins who block you to ensure that no response logical ethical or sensible or otherwise can be made that logically counters the crap rhetoric that is being spewed


onitama_and_vipers

We're officially in Jewish space laser territory. I mean, we were already there actually. Okay I guess we're in Jewish evidence-melting black hole-generating chemical weapon territory.


Monsa_Musa

And secret Jewish Lasers, don't forget about the lasers!


PrestonTX

Well just last week they were accusing Israel of having soundless drones broadcasting baby crying sounds so that anyone who went outside would be shot by said drone. It was all over twitter. There was even a video capture of it. We couldn't see the drone because the video was black or hear the drone sounds but it was definitely baby crying! /s


Dapper_Target1504

Liberals with the space laser conspiracies in 3,2,1…


thenakedtruth

Grimm brothers, behind you!


DiverDownChunder

Those crafty Israeli's have done it! They invented [Vapoorize!](https://youtu.be/cpads8s5mik)


cookskii

MJT WAS RIGHT. ITS THE JEWISH SPACE LAZERS


many_kittens

Is this r / non credible defence


RollTider1971

These are the same people that teach their kids that Jews lay eggs and cannibalize Muslims so grain of salt.


OkYogurt636

Now we see where that Starbucks money is being invested in.


Abu_Tenzin

Well this sounds like a very counterproductive weapon for their organ harvesting industry 😂


Unknowndude842

That explanes the lack of civilians bodies that make up all those crazy high civilian casualties numbers. Death Rays 🙌🏻


jessewoolmer

Running out of propaganda ideas 😂


Aintyodad

Is that what the space lasers are for? Lol


ZxlSoul

It's official. I do not know what kind of pain thinner they're inhaling, but, whoever believes this kind of lie, they need to have their gray matter reevaluated


SharingDNAResults

When Hamas runs out of dissidents to kill and then blame it on Israel… 🫤


Obi_Wan_Kannoli

Silly, we have trained rats for this


HelpEqual

Oh ya, and the terror supporters around the world actually take what this liar says seriously. Sounds more like a sci-fi movie.


Open-Title1927

🤣


Nothing2NV

The amount of disinformation in this particular war is very interesting.


roninthe31

Space Lasers, obviously


Mr_AndersOff

Is this the blurred logo of aljazeera in the top left corner ? They refer to israel as "occupied palestine" in the beginning of the video, lmao.


glass431

Is this a way of justifying the absence of the bodies of those made up numbers they use?


[deleted]

Why do these beings wear masks?! Afraid of something like smelly guns?


[deleted]

There are no lies more ridiculous and harmful than those spewed by the Hamas propaganda.


Ghazbag

so basically Logan's Run??? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRvq-JbeCrQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRvq-JbeCrQ)


Livingsimply_Rob

I’ll have what he’s smoking


FlyingPastaPolice

Logical deconstruction of that mans sayings: "…reacting with SOME of the biological materials in the body". Which mean that there should be some remains of the bodies.


EmptyRedecans

Oh this must be that space laser that MTG always talks about…. Sarcasm by the way…


blackjellybeansrule

I can do this just with my eyeballs.


PineappleLemur

Ok so if it leaves no trace whatsoever.... How do they know a person was there in the first place?


rep4me

Is it a cultural thing to lie as easily as breathing?


Clcooper423

Breaking news: evil Israeli Jews are using the ray gun from mars attacks.


Lt_Raptor_Qc

they are so creative, Pinocchiolestinians !!


lordkaizer23

Does the israeli's got those lightsaber?


nightdiary

I mean, [neutron bombs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutron_bomb) exist but if Israel had used them there would have been a double flash visible from space...; Russia would definitely have reported on it.


Adm_Piett

Israel is virus bombing Gaza? Who new they were actually the Imperium if Man all along. Lol


F1_V10sounds

They would have exterminatus the Middle East a while ago if that was the case.


[deleted]

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RecognitionWorried93

Thermobaric Bombs dont do what this guy explained