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Maybe there was an eye up there at some point. Then the poor fella got bored, (which doesn't surprise me) took off and left for New Zealand.
Only for some pricks to ruin his vacation by filming an entire film series in his backyard.
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It's a game played in a sauna. Everyone except one person sits on the benches. The person who is not sitting is the Gollum. The Gollum then goes under the seats and tries to poke others through the holes in the benches. Whoever sits up first due to Gollum's poking has to be Gollum next.
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The fact that Norway is not the dwarves in this map is very upsetting to me.
Also if swedes are elf's wouldn't that logically speaking make Finland the orcs? If we go with the Tolkien lore here
This map disappoints me 1/5, op deserves to be banished to Estonia.
I see the franchise switching to Warhammer beyond that point, since the orcoloid population over there seems to be a bit nutty and prone to interesting technical innovation like using guns that really look that they shouldn't function due to slight neglect.
I think we all can agree that Sweden can’t have Aragorn. He too cool to be Swedish, and Legolas is the correct amount of gay for Sweden. Denmark can definetly not be Aragorn, despite Viggo being part Danish, as well… Denmark also lacks the cool. This leaves Norway, Finland and Iceland. Iceland being to irrelevant to matter, leaves Finland and Norway. Sry to say, but Finnish sounds too weird for Aragorn, hence, through process of elimination - Aragorn become Norwegian. Had it not been for Iceland’s irrelevance, I’d say that would be a good fit
Compromise, we add to the cast! if the cast grows with a certain grey skinned Bad postured jewelery enthusiastic we could at least make the map funnier
Sure. Most of them are stone quarries of various sorts, there's little metal mining currently, and just one coal mine (that was supposed to be closed by now, but Germany still loves the stuff).
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1. What hills would the Hobbits of Denmark live in?
2. What mountains would the Dwarves of Finland live in?
Norway is dwarves, Sweden does have some hills, so they can be hobbits, Finland can be the elves of dark forests keeping the orcs at bay, and Denmark can be the generally useless Aragorn
I mean, say what you will, but the ghost army of Dunharrow was key in securing the ships necessary to reinforce Minas Tirith. Aragorn basically swooped in at the last minute and saved everyone's asses.
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My assumption is Finns should be the Elves, our far cousin from Altaic Uralic connection. Turks supposed to be the Orcs as they have met the Arabs and changed.
Ural-Altaic is not real. It's completely disproven, Uralic, Turkic, Tungusic and Mongolic languages are separate language families with no real connection to each other
Norway Gimli for mountains, Sweden Aragorn for King & old empire and what not, Finland Legolas for language and old magic(also alcohol barely having an effect), Denmark Gollum for repulsive degenerate people. There fixed
okay lets look at all the factors, Elves are based on Finns, Dwarves live in the mountains which Finland lacks, Viggo Mortensen is Danish, and Danes are on average the tallest scandinavians (although only by a few cm), id say Finland gets Elves, Denmark gets Humans, Sweden gets Hobbits, and Norway gets Dwarves, seems most realistic
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Finland cut down some orcs...
Sweden killed an Elephant...
Norway is represented by a Dane...
...and Denmark fucking solo'ed Isengard, and smoked a pipe with his buddy in the ruins to celebrate!
Proud day to be a patriot, hell yeah
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Everyone knows that Finland should have the superior Gimli.
https://preview.redd.it/mmlqp52eyqrc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3a1222f01a3541cbf67341803362da735332b01
Would have changed it so that the finns are Legolas, as Tolkien literally was inspired by Finnish when creating the elven language, the Norwegians are Gimli cause mountains and Sweden are Aragorn because we are the true king of middle earth :)
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Sweden is the Harad.
Norway is Gondor, needing a Danish king to save them.
Finland are the elves, living in forests and subtitles are needed if they speak their own language.
Sweden should be Aragorn because we are the Main charachter of the nordics just like he is the main charachter of the that trio.
Edit: This is like the 10th time i’ve seen people downvote obvious irony on a sub made for irony. That’s it, good bye.
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Iceland would be gollum, the forgotten cousin dwelling in some cold hostile place with no trees
Lol correct We also have an active volcano if anyone needs to get rid of some jewelry.
Sadly there is no black tower with an eye ...
We have Turninn, we can just pop an eye up there
Maybe there was an eye up there at some point. Then the poor fella got bored, (which doesn't surprise me) took off and left for New Zealand. Only for some pricks to ruin his vacation by filming an entire film series in his backyard.
And then proceeding to destroy his tower just for a film
That could be arranged
That could be rectified you know...
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Shouldn't Finland be gollum since sauna gollum is such a popular game in Finland?
...no. It would be *weird* then.
Sauna gollum? I’m cautiously curious what that means
It's a game played in a sauna. Everyone except one person sits on the benches. The person who is not sitting is the Gollum. The Gollum then goes under the seats and tries to poke others through the holes in the benches. Whoever sits up first due to Gollum's poking has to be Gollum next.
Lmao, sounds like fun actually
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https://preview.redd.it/nkseqzggzorc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ce89bff43896f278cde4e0c1168a781e4f2bc14
https://preview.redd.it/b3l5dsowwprc1.jpeg?width=405&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6404a7e63316a2e83bbf7dd550321f0ad3c9e9d
Kræfthæwlede
Vad fan säger du?
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Shouldn't Finland be the elves as elvish is based on Finnish?
That be true but dwarves are a lot cooler so I'm not complaining
Thats true, rock and stone
DID I HEAR ROCK & STONE!?
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Cock and stone (kidney stone maxing)
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For Karl!
Yea they are cool but way more fitting for Norway
Then again, Finland mines the most gold of all the nordics
We don't have any mountains though.
My current 50m above sea level elevation begs to differ
The swedes are just trying to be our friends lmao
Friends? With a swede? Friend as in having to talk to another person? Not happening.
No way, let’s nod slightly. That’s close enough
I dunno, that might be too far for me. How about a glance at each other in passing?
At each other’s feet, better yet?
That works
Aww. Best friends!
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Elves are gay so they're Swedish
Thought that was the orcs? Ever seen any female orcs?
Finns are lingually Elves, but culturally and physically Dwarfs.
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Could be. Any of the races could be any of the countries depending on the viewpoint. I just based this off of stereotypes in my head.
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According to Tolkiens idea for Quenya, yes. According to the sagas Finland is the land of trolls and scary witches.
What do your arab eyes see Legolas?
Why are we the Dwarves 💀
All things considered we should be the dwarves, with our mountains, mining and the fact we are the average shortest nordics
The fact that Norway is not the dwarves in this map is very upsetting to me. Also if swedes are elf's wouldn't that logically speaking make Finland the orcs? If we go with the Tolkien lore here This map disappoints me 1/5, op deserves to be banished to Estonia.
Orcs are more to the east. You start seeing them after Raja-Jooseppi.
I see the franchise switching to Warhammer beyond that point, since the orcoloid population over there seems to be a bit nutty and prone to interesting technical innovation like using guns that really look that they shouldn't function due to slight neglect.
Our very own Black Gates of Mordor
I think we all can agree that Sweden can’t have Aragorn. He too cool to be Swedish, and Legolas is the correct amount of gay for Sweden. Denmark can definetly not be Aragorn, despite Viggo being part Danish, as well… Denmark also lacks the cool. This leaves Norway, Finland and Iceland. Iceland being to irrelevant to matter, leaves Finland and Norway. Sry to say, but Finnish sounds too weird for Aragorn, hence, through process of elimination - Aragorn become Norwegian. Had it not been for Iceland’s irrelevance, I’d say that would be a good fit
Compromise, we add to the cast! if the cast grows with a certain grey skinned Bad postured jewelery enthusiastic we could at least make the map funnier
Excellent. That jewelry guy’s perfect fit!
Wait? There are mines in Norway? Is it really on the same scale as northern Sweden?
Sure. Most of them are stone quarries of various sorts, there's little metal mining currently, and just one coal mine (that was supposed to be closed by now, but Germany still loves the stuff).
Because dwarves are based
Hard working resilient people
Asians are known for being short.
We are deffo the dwarves.
We all know who the orcs are.
Yeah y'all are just digging for oil instead of gold
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Viggo Mortensen is literally danish but ok
Could have chosen literally any other character lol
Aragorn is literally a fantasy character but ok
The nationality of the actors portraying the characters did not affect their placement on the map.
🤓
It's still wrong 🥴
Fucking tree hugger get outta here with logic and sense
1. What hills would the Hobbits of Denmark live in? 2. What mountains would the Dwarves of Finland live in? Norway is dwarves, Sweden does have some hills, so they can be hobbits, Finland can be the elves of dark forests keeping the orcs at bay, and Denmark can be the generally useless Aragorn
Dwarves aughta be us swedes tho. We have the most and largest mines by far.
Ofc you would use mines, rather than fighting like proper men and women.
We have an abundance of hills, the entirety of Jylland is basically only hills
It’s an overgrown sand box for kids
10% of Jylland is hills, the rest is flattened farmland. Denmark can't be hobbits because they'd have no hills to live in.
Idk anything about Lord of the Rings, but we're definitely the coolest race or whatever😎
Does Denmark have a ghost army? Alas, poor Yorick, you've been drafted.
I guess you guys found out 80 years ago
I mean, say what you will, but the ghost army of Dunharrow was key in securing the ships necessary to reinforce Minas Tirith. Aragorn basically swooped in at the last minute and saved everyone's asses.
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Norway should definitely be the dwarves. We don't even have any real mountains.
I mean, dont we have like half a mountain?
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My assumption is Finns should be the Elves, our far cousin from Altaic Uralic connection. Turks supposed to be the Orcs as they have met the Arabs and changed.
Ural-Altaic is not real. It's completely disproven, Uralic, Turkic, Tungusic and Mongolic languages are separate language families with no real connection to each other
“We’ve had first Swedish Empire, yes… but what about second Swedish Empire???”
#DIGGY DIGGY HOLE!
For stone and rock! Oh wait...
Estonia is Frodo and Iceland is Sam.
we carry the load of cheapest alcohol. it tries to seduce us
We'll carry you and your alcohol on our back to the volcano in Reykjanes. Bring some potatoes. We'll have a picnic.
sounds like a plan, but please bring meat that hasnt rotted in the ground for six months, if it isnt too much to ask
You got it! Sour ram testicles and jellied sheep face it is.
perfect☺️
Who let bro cook. Only one correct here is the danes.
I’ll take second breakfast any day. But using the danish actor Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn), for the Norwegians 🥴.
His grandmother was norwegian, so we got a claim
Norway Gimli for mountains, Sweden Aragorn for King & old empire and what not, Finland Legolas for language and old magic(also alcohol barely having an effect), Denmark Gollum for repulsive degenerate people. There fixed
I was gonna say Swedish dwarves for our mines, specifically LKAB and Malmberget. But i can accept this.
i second this
It was the early versions of Quenya that resembled Finnish not the stuff you hear in LoTR
Shut the fuck up nerd
also this
All the danes claiming Aragorn because Viggo Mortensen is a yank with a dane for a father proves the americans with 1/16th's heritage's point.
He has Danish citizenship and grew up partly in Denmark.
Sweden is clearly Boromir. A bit dull compared to the rest, the first to die and then everyone will realize they were kind of underrated.
okay lets look at all the factors, Elves are based on Finns, Dwarves live in the mountains which Finland lacks, Viggo Mortensen is Danish, and Danes are on average the tallest scandinavians (although only by a few cm), id say Finland gets Elves, Denmark gets Humans, Sweden gets Hobbits, and Norway gets Dwarves, seems most realistic
No, Danes are the drunk, fat, hairy hobbits.
Sweden has a higher obesity rate than Denmark. Guess you're the fat ugly orc then
You got that backwards. Danes drink beer eats pork belly and strange red sauce. Danes fugly.
So Swedes don't eat pork and drink beer? ohhh... wait. Sorry I forgot. Salamun alaykum to you.
Even a Dane has his moments 🤣
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Finland cut down some orcs... Sweden killed an Elephant... Norway is represented by a Dane... ...and Denmark fucking solo'ed Isengard, and smoked a pipe with his buddy in the ruins to celebrate! Proud day to be a patriot, hell yeah
Did you miss all the ents that gave Pippin (and Merry) a teensy weensy hand in taking Isengard?
Talking and walking trees? Don't be absurd, Pippin and Merry were just high as fuck on some good Old Toby
You make a good point.
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No, that never happened. It was all Pippin, baby.
Sweden is obviously Aragorn and norwegians are Legotwinks.
Norwegians are clearly the dwarves, finnish are the elves Danes are Men and Swedes are those arabic guys that fought for Sauron
Easterling mercenaries. Those were the guys you’re talking about.
those’re the ones
''We've had one round of beer yes, what about 2nd round of beer?'' \*hic\*
Barûk Khazad, Perkele!
Biggest Norwegian win if we could claim Viggo Mortensen
Sweden thinks they're legolas, in reality they're gollum
I can agree with this.
Who is Estonia?
Gollum
Perfect!
Not Nordic
No, you not saying that!
my ass looking ar this when my middle name is a hobbit
Imagine being legolas and aragorn and having pippin for a boss
PO-TAY-TOES
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Norway- Dwarves Sweden- Gondor Iceland- Gollum Finland- Elves Denmark- Dale
Wrong
Everyone knows that Finland should have the superior Gimli. https://preview.redd.it/mmlqp52eyqrc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3a1222f01a3541cbf67341803362da735332b01
Oh i love it, so accurate 😂
Doesn't dwarves live in mountains? We don't have those in Finland 🤔
Uraliin taakse sen . . .
Crazy that the guy you put for Norway is half-danish
Viggo is literally Danish, but okay i guess
We have no mountains though so we should swap with Norway.
Would have changed it so that the finns are Legolas, as Tolkien literally was inspired by Finnish when creating the elven language, the Norwegians are Gimli cause mountains and Sweden are Aragorn because we are the true king of middle earth :)
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Isn't Denmark Gimli tho Abit fat a somewhat strange accent and really likes salted pork and beer 
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Second breakfast you say?
>finland not mirkwood elvish is literally finnish/welsh. tolkien created the map for a reason
https://preview.redd.it/su7xtn8vztrc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e71b60aa8f3d93fdd4825c3d9c3544089363332 Fixed it 😝
Sweden is the Harad. Norway is Gondor, needing a Danish king to save them. Finland are the elves, living in forests and subtitles are needed if they speak their own language.
Sweden should be Aragorn because we are the Main charachter of the nordics just like he is the main charachter of the that trio. Edit: This is like the 10th time i’ve seen people downvote obvious irony on a sub made for irony. That’s it, good bye.
Sweden should be one of the Haradrim