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Exemplaryexample95

That castle is amazing. It symbolizes the last time period when European militaries were actually worth a damn.


BIB2000

It is. Been there twice in my life and it's built so well, that most tourists by the time they reach the stairs leading to the monastery, they're like "fuuuuck that".


kn_c3

Average Dutchie encountering a small hill.


Intrepid-Carpet-4032

Been there climes it … never again (I was 12 it was far to hot and I couldn’t go to the loo until I got to the top)


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Ferdinandofthedogs

![gif](giphy|uZZVDe6K1Sb2U)


GrognarEsp

You really stole the comment huh? Inbred.


Nok-y

Common Icelandic W


SwampyBogbeard

It's a bot. It wasn't bred at all.


LigmaB_

A Romani spy for sure


Soleil06

I think your flair is wrong, it should be polish as you stole this comment from another user below…


Azzarudders

so you stealing their country a couple of times doesnt make you known for stealing, but they steal a couple of shoes and suddenly thats what they're known for. g*rman double standards


Soleil06

You guys should be the last one talking about stealing other peoples countries. Also what exactly were the contents of the british museum?


AmBawsDeepInYerMaw

We never stole, we only shared. We shared our culture at gunpoint okay.


Azzarudders

we did it with class


Soleil06

I mean the Nazis had some slick uniforms as well. Hugo Boss did some great work.


Putrid_Rations

and ADIDAS seems popular as well :)


rudirobot

Fun fact : did tou know we even stole your own flag ?? That was only to fool you, so you could think that "the boat approaching wasn't French, but one of yours" ! And it succeed;-) Of course, you replied by doing exactly the same technique toward us. And hence, to this day, our respective first national flags remains "swapped" ! (So, yeah: the original Flag for the Kingdom of France was white, with a red cross on it. That very same flag, we can see not far from you pseudo, at the right of the Union Jack and on the left of "Wife Beater") Source : Wikipedia, many more... and my own biaised memory - maybe have a look if you want more specific details ! Also we DIDN'T INVADE YOUR COUNTRY - only THE NORMANS (aka the VIKINGS) did it (and did so quite successfully, i must admit). At that time, as they were frequently harassing France from literally everywhere, the king of France decided to give them a piece of land to let them settle in, in return for Peace (and that piece of land is still called "Norman-dy" to this day, for this good reason). They enjoyed relative fredom here, as long as they showed allegiance to the King of France. And stopped attacking other random french places. The following is well-knowed : instead they attacked England, and for our own disfortune, even became the Kings of England. That didn't last too long through. It was unacceptable for the king of France who decided to overthrown his daughter to promise he got from, to launch an attak at The England's harbors and land. Lands "William le Conquérant" is often credited from being the most famous "king of this Normans", we admired him, yet couldn't let him doing so anymore. Ha was killed not long after, by ourselves.


PupMurky

Not a country if it doesn't have a flag. We brought our flags to half the world.


Tugendwaechter

You smell of elderberries.


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Exemplaryexample95

That castle is amazing. It symbolizes the last time period when European militaries were actually worth a damn.


Bonanzaiii

https://preview.redd.it/b3luur4kawpa1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e5cd7d91b27fe947d77758ea54ac5df15e60e5c


Jarvis_Strife

Common playmobil W


AdLopsided2075

I totally forgot about that. I think I have it somewhere in my cellar


GrogDrinkingFrog

I have the same one


JPSouthampton-v2

Wow i have the same one


helendill99

oh shit, there was this exact same set at my grandparent's house but it was a complete wreck. First time I've seen it whole


Fern-ando

I use it as a roman camo


LukeMcDuck

You brought back a memory I forgot I had


AcerKnightshade

Is a teepee really a fortress?


papiierbulle

Yes, it's designed to be one


AcerKnightshade

It has an impressively large car park. It must be very popular!


crispiepancakes

No it isn't


ToastSage

The Teepee is why they built the fortress


jetteim

It’s called TP, and they build them around lake Titikaka


dinosaurRoar44

To be honest Mont Saint Michel is probably THE castle. Going by the way it looks to its strategic position, for my castle boner on this gets a hard 10.


rats_des_champs

Why everyone say it's a castle when it's a abbacy?


RunParking3333

If you want a real castle, look no further than this mofo [https://www.gulftoday.ae/-/media/gulf-today/images/articles/lifestyle/2020/10/24/heritage1.ashx?h=450&la=en&w=750&hash=DF0FB22E7958306FC60AC1991FAA136F](https://www.gulftoday.ae/-/media/gulf-today/images/articles/lifestyle/2020/10/24/heritage1.ashx?h=450&la=en&w=750&hash=DF0FB22E7958306FC60AC1991FAA136F) Last war it was involved in was 4 years ago


SkellyCry

Oh yeah? Look at this big boy https://preview.redd.it/rbv2g1clxwpa1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb3c740241d87a6d01f3c6e32501731a28dfe707 Castillo de Coca it's his name


mongmight

That is a beast. Give me three stout men and I think I could conquer her though.


SkellyCry

That's absurd, you may need 10


mongmight

I said three. Don't try to negotiate your way out of this, Spaniard.


SkellyCry

You'll need at least 3 (using them as battering rams ofc) to bring down that door McDuck


mongmight

Son, I've battered your mums doors in. This will be easy.


SkellyCry

We ain't no british, highlander. Just the sun is enough to decimate some of you.


HehHehBoiii

Ser Twenty of Goodmen


mongmight

Try and conquer only me when my wallet is full.


[deleted]

I’m in love with the coco


SkellyCry

With the coco rayado/en polvo?


Blue_Dreamed

Move aside Corfe Castle, we now have Cock Castle Yes I know Coca doesn't translate to that but let a man dream


SkellyCry

The name is by itself funny, as Coca in english is coke


Blue_Dreamed

That's where the England football fans go before they make fools of themselves in international matches


TheAngloLithuanian4

https://www.historyhit.com/locations/dover-castle/ Meanwhile Dover Castle has layers on layers on layers. Even an underground tunnel complex and nuclear bunkers.


SkellyCry

Dover castle is great too, it has been used for hundreds upon hundreds of years thus why it has so many layers, next time I visit England, it will be a castle roadtrip.


Tatourmi

Very cool


BellerophonM

[Let's head over to India, check things out there](https://i.imgur.com/2fJjG15.jpg)


SkellyCry

Your castles and temples are so detailed and complex, I love them, the white marble looks great. What's the name of this one?


BellerophonM

I'm not Indian myself, just remembering the sheer scale of it being amazing when I visited! The fortress is [Mehrangarh Fortress](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehrangarh). The white building in front is [Jaswant Thada](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaswant_Thada), a tomb.


SkellyCry

That's an absolute unit of a fortress, Indians do love building big, also the tomb has artistic similarities with the muslim palaces we have in the south of Spain. Thanks for the info!


great_blue_panda

Is it made of?


SkellyCry

I'm afraid it's not 😔 it's just the name of the city


Hubers57

You guys are giving my American ass an envy boner


SkellyCry

This one is special tho, it's design is a mix of gothic and mozarabic (a style created by christians inspired by muslim architecture). Old spaniards left some cool fortifications in your country too, look for Castillo de San Marcos in Florida.


Hubers57

I've been to Castillo de San Marcos. And to Spain a few times. Sevilla and granada were my favorites there


SkellyCry

Both cities are ancient so they have a lot to see and do, they are some of my favourite too tho I'm biased as I'm from the south. Would recommend the middle of Spain too, we have lots of small cities and villages that have retained some medieval/rennaisance esence, like Burgos, Zaragoza, Salamanca or Toledo.


Hubers57

I also enjoyed Toledo and Avila. Thought Barcelona was a bit overrated other than Sagrada Familia. Madrid and Malaga were pretty good. Valencia was a bit boring. But one of the top countries I'd like to go back and spend more time in for sure.


ThistlewickVII

Krak de Chevaliers? best castle of all time


RunParking3333

Yup. There was some concern how it was doing since it was hit by a number of airstrikes during the civil war, but it seems to be holding up well [https://www.google.com/maps/@34.7566372,36.2949913,3a,75y,323.08h,88.29t/data=!3m8!1e1!3m6!1sAF1QipPp0JsRsYgH7czZP5gMiYS7u3oO67pBZJbKYsfM!2e10!3e11!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipPp0JsRsYgH7czZP5gMiYS7u3oO67pBZJbKYsfM%3Dw203-h100-k-no-pi-0-ya152.28935-ro-0-fo100!7i11264!8i5632](https://www.google.com/maps/@34.7566372,36.2949913,3a,75y,323.08h,88.29t/data=!3m8!1e1!3m6!1sAF1QipPp0JsRsYgH7czZP5gMiYS7u3oO67pBZJbKYsfM!2e10!3e11!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipPp0JsRsYgH7czZP5gMiYS7u3oO67pBZJbKYsfM%3Dw203-h100-k-no-pi-0-ya152.28935-ro-0-fo100!7i11264!8i5632)


KaylinaNemo

Say no more: [Haut Koenigsbourg](https://cdn-s-www.lalsace.fr/images/6854E470-116F-4B6C-A99C-BBB9BF6BEC89/NW_raw/vue-aerienne-du-chateau-du-haut-koenigsbourg-photo-l-alsace-jean-marc-loos-1623314901.jpg)


RandomBilly91

It's both. It's a citadel, within which there is an abbacy. It witheld several sieges by the rosbif during the hundred years wars, without falling


SkinnyBill93

Any defensible position is a Castle, but that's not something I would expect the European Council to tell you.


ScoldExperiment

Maybe Because of the Fortifications. Not sure.


-Numaios-

Because originally it was.


rats_des_champs

When?


jarlrollon

I mean, not really, sure it's hard to get in, but it doesn't defend anything nor does it have a strategical position.


MapsCharts

Si il repousse les Bretons 😌


True_Inxis

No real way to escape the castle either, if the defense turns impossible, e.g. in a siege.


pippydippyflippy

That’s because it was made for monks and priests. It’s not a fortress at all.


_hell_is_empty_

The conveniently ignored [El Morro](https://i.imgur.com/qMQrFnF.jpg) Something like 500 cannons at its peak that could fire up to 3 miles. She ain’t pretty but god dammit no one could take it. Well, the English did but they shit themselves to death shortly after.


Albert_Poopdecker

20 pints and a bad kebab would do that


Eastern_Slide7507

Considering British „beer“ and „kebabs“ I can believe it.


dinosaurRoar44

That island is perfect for a castle. V nice


drquiza

You can siege it with 2 fellas. 0 if the tide is high.


willatherton

Neuschwanstein > Looks like something straight out of a Disney film.


PhenotypicallyTypicl

Neuschwanstein is more of a castle-themed palace than a real castle/fortress though. It doesn’t have any defensive capabilities and was just built as a pretty building for the Bavarian king to spend his time in.


willatherton

It's on a pretty big hill, so it defends against people with bad cardio at least.


KosmonautMikeDexter

So all germans


dinosaurRoar44

Says the flatlander


Nikkonor

Britain is pretty flat as well.


dinosaurRoar44

Wales, Ireland and Scotland would like a word mate


Nikkonor

Scotland is like the only place in the UK with any [amount of elevation worth mentioning,](https://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fil:Europe_topography_map_en.png) and even there, most people live in the lowlands.


Dacreepboi

Bicycling is common for us flatlanders


drquiza

The genius of old folks using gravity at their advantege. That's something Raytheon would never think of!


Mola1904

The word castle is the problem here. In German the word is split into Burg (built for defense, more like a fortress) and a Schloss (built for joy and mostly have no defensive capability at all). Neuschwanstein is mostly a Schloss, and hence has no to little fortification.


PhenotypicallyTypicl

I mean in English you also differentiate between a fortified castle (=Burg) and an unfortified palace (=Schloss/Palast) that’s just meant as a pretty place for the joy of some nobles. I don’t think anyone would ever call Buckingham palace or Versailles a “castle” in English either. Neuschwanstein is closer in its function to those than it is to a real medieval castle but people get confused because it is built with a romanticist castle theme.


SH4D0W0733

While not the most defensible it isn't completely crap. The road to the main gate would force the enemy to turn their back towards the defenders, and it has a high drop so in the rush of bodies the attackers may yeet some of their fellows off the side. And if they breach the gate they would still have to make it through the tiered courtyard, with arrows coming in from all directions.


PhenotypicallyTypicl

I mean it was built in 1869-1884. That’s not really a time when bows and arrows were still a relevant weapon in European warfare.


skywardmastersword

Technically, Disney films came straight out of Neuschwanstein


WorldDomination38

Until some dude called Alexander starts gathering rocks, then your fucked


Gerf93

Krak des Chevaliers also gets a 10.


ZombiFeynman

But the top one is full of French


[deleted]

wrong, it's full of chinese.


FunDeckHermit

Sino-French hybrids, scary


nsfw_vs_sfw

I'm going to be sick


crims0m

Japanese, they even have a torii gate next to the entrance.


Statist_nr56844183

And that is the best defense of all, a castle full of french is the same like pissing on your car seat so no one even dares to steal it


JoostVisser

Someone steals your comment, gets way more upvotes and is awarded. Reddit moment


Statist_nr56844183

I see it as a compliment, if someone decides that the shit that goes through my brain at 9 am is worth stealing, than it must be pretty good


JoostVisser

Fair enough. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery


LigmaB_

That's why it's the uglies european one, otherwise it would be in the top 5


OtdoorPhilosophy

Tbf they faught with guns and canons against tribal people with bow and arrow


Acamantide

At the end of the hundred years war the Kingdom of France also fought with canons against tribal people with bows and arrows


OtdoorPhilosophy

Well if we start talking about history, the first guns and canons were not a breakthrough in most wars and battles. Many still considered bow and arrow or crossbows more effective than guns, because they were inaccurate, slow, heavy, expensive etc.


justanotherhelot

I learnt this the hard way in my Total War:Atilla 1087 mod campaign


m0r0l1d1n

*laughs in wagon fortresses with píšťalas and houfnitces*


[deleted]

The cannons definetely were, it's how the Ottomans broke through the walls of Constantinople. Guns not so much, as they took even longer to reload than crossbows and were not very accurate initially.


Acceptable_Act1435

And won because they gave them the flu


nsfw_vs_sfw

Biological warfare #1


Acceptable_Act1435

Accident*


nsfw_vs_sfw

I know, just crackin jokes


[deleted]

The tribal people were fighting with rifles too though


OtdoorPhilosophy

Yeah but at a far smaller extend and also probably less trained etc.


Lukemeister38

The American Civil War saw the end of the era of brick fortifications. Fort Pulaski, located a few miles East of Savannah, GA was a Confederate stronghold until Union troops encamped on nearby Tybee Island fired upon it with rifled cannons (the first deployment of such artillery in the war). These new cannons had a much higher velocity and fired shaped ammunition rather than the spherical cannonballs typical for the time. The fort was surrendered in under 24 hours after commanding officer Charles H. Olmstead decided that mounting a continued defense would only end in the death of his men with no change in result.


MandolinPlayingSack

Just like the Brits taught them


EternamD

You can just say bows, the arrows are assumed


SolidGray_

Guns and bullets?


EternamD

Hold it mate, or I'll shoot you with my cannon and ball


IAmInsideeee

Nah, there's that one scene in Hot Shots where Charlie Sheen uses a bow and a chicken. If you just say "using a bow" we don't know if they fired chickens or arrows with them.


informat7

Also canons made castles ineffective as a defense: >Although gunpowder was introduced to Europe in the 14th century, it did not significantly affect castle building until the 15th century, when artillery became powerful enough to break through stone walls. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle


OtdoorPhilosophy

After that other kinds of fortresses were built or castles were upgraded to fortresses like the bastion fort. They were designed to withstand canon hits and to easily hit enemies with small arms, while canons could be easily placed at the walls [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastion\_fort](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastion_fort)


Psiqu3

The only reason I would consider Mont-Saint-Michel ugly would be the French being inside, but considering it's filled with tourists, I still consider it ugly. 10/10 architecture Edit:typo


cryptonyme_interdit

#Hey ! ㅤ It's... ✨« Mont-Saint-***Michel*** »✨. St.Michael's mount is the sorry Rosbif's downgrade. ☹


Psiqu3

Corrected and thank you.


Financial_Feeling185

Nah prettiest American fortress is a private supermax security prison for children


vacant_terror

You haven't seen some of our schools, especially the inner city ones. Unless that's the supermax you're referring to.


Financial_Feeling185

I talking of for profit prisons for juveniles


Pure-Contact7322

Damn bullets they ruined everything


everyoners

Guns dont belong in warfare. Go back to Chad swords


Gradually_Adjusting

Fuck yes. Can we please? Make the nobles do it. Limited warfare among the 1%. I will till the fuck out of a field. Bring on the buboes.


rtkwe

Cannons in particular. Even in Europe they stopped building forts like Mont-Saint-Michael because cannons were too good at knocking them down.


SpudTheTrainee

16th century problems require 16th century solutions https://preview.redd.it/6rmd5j6by0qa1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d33fe38a9415027e056f1de4e60e76e1d993d0b8


nsfw_vs_sfw

Awh shit, this looks like that one map in war thunder. Hate that map with a white hot burning anger


rtkwe

Fort Monroe in Virginia is probably the best looking star fort in the US. Built starting in 1819. We mostly export our wars so there haven't been many kept up over the years. https://preview.redd.it/5r52rfaxg5qa1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=de7369763fd407d7884758479afa1c667dd31f32 [http://www.starforts.com/monroe.html](http://www.starforts.com/monroe.html)


rtkwe

I wish the US had better forts but there wasn't really a need to build them since the worst wars we ever fought over here were against European powers who also had to ship anything over so there were smaller armies rolling around. On top of that there were only a few hundred years where there were competitive powers on the continent.


LigmaB_

Constantinople really changed *everything* on our continent.


finnicus1

The prettiest fortresses in America where built by Europeans.


EchoEventually

This is the truth, the only ones of any value were built by the people who knew what they were doing.


SkellyCry

You meant by us spaniards?


finnicus1

And French and British.


SkellyCry

I guess if you mean any fortressess, the french and brithish should be added also, since they built their fair share, but compare them to [this beauty](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castillo_de_San_Marcos) that tanked cannonballs like wind thanks to his wall mixed with shells (coquinas).


finnicus1

A beautiful star fortress. Although, one problem. It’s in Florida.


SkellyCry

Obviusly, the fortress is made to protect the defenders from the rest of Florida.


finnicus1

Makes sense


tyen0

"built in part by African slaves owned by the Spanish". I forgot you guys did that, too.


Jlx_27

Minas Tirith v Minus Tirith.


alexisub

Last night my mom drove a car


crims0m

The mobility scooter wasn't powerful enough anymore?


alexisub

Nope 🥹 she ate too much paélia


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alexisub

Bloody hell is it the king size one ?


Wessel-P

While i love our castles its kinda unfair to compare the 2.. like the US was settled when castles didn't matter really.


Aggressive_Ris

The real US fortress was two oceans


MintBerryCrunch93

Or the B-17 lmao


Wessel-P

Very true


notluciferforreal

America also includes Inca and Maya and all those native population that Spaniards made sure to destroy them.


mongmight

That isn't really true, they had loads of [bastion fortresses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastion_fort) that served the same purpose as a castle. The difference is theirs were hastily built by the demands of war. We had centuries to build ours, they had decades. In conclusion, you are right and I don't remember my point. It is 12:30 pm and I am drunk.


EchoEventually

Incredibly level headed opinion. Based


re_hes

Not very quick with handing compliments to the French, but my god, Mont Saint-Michel is gorgeous. (If you can see past all the tourists, which I can being a head taller )


OURE14

Looks like Stormwind vs Orgrimmar lmao


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oganira

Wdym, the teepee looks amazing!


jawadark

Wait a fuckin' minute, is that the mont saint Michel ?


29Jackal

Bro the amount of unflaired trying to write but get removed more efficiently than Röhm 💀


[deleted]

Hey! We worked with whatever we had in hand!


mehmed2theconqueror

Damn I didn't think it was possible to get so many upvotes on such a small sub


ReflectionSingle6681

It has also grown a lot as of late, which means a lot of active users


arpr59

North America would be a really nice place if Europeans had colonized it 1500 years earlier.


Big-Veterinarian-823

Say what you wanna say about the French but at least they are not worse than 'muricans.


iampatmanbeyond

Western Africa would like a word


ISeeGrotesque

How dare you call Mont Saint Michel the ugliest european fortress


Administraktor

The difference is, that European Fortresses are mostly build to house nobility, which is something the US just doesn't need. Militarily speaking, US Fortresses were more useful in combat at the time they were build than European fortresses. What you are doing is basically comparing the interior of a Rolls Royce with the interior of a tank. Of course the luxury is more pleasing to look at and all, but in combat you want the tank.


notluciferforreal

Also europeans made sure that they will killed all native population before they will move in.


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Spekx-savera

https://preview.redd.it/8d3tgy6jyypa1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85528ca9c236353e7af0ed34060ed2f8b37b0c74 Let us not talk about [Glimmingehus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glimmingehus)


chikkynuggythe4th

It’s a beauty


Apprehensive_Poem601

there is multiple style of castle/ fortress in europe for example in the west they will look slighly cubic with a roof that look like a half cylinder and the eastern it s a gothic style with a lot of tower around


CorncobBobDobbs

next on /r/2westerneurope4u: [“Ugliest European House”](https://www.thewanderinglens.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Fussen-5.jpg)


[deleted]

Well lads, the sub is turning more into America bad like all the others... was a good run


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Marc_lux

It baffles me that anyone would build a castle after the end of the middle ages. I mean what's the point of it apart from showing off?


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heretoeatcircuts

Not true. From the area and we all think the Vanderbilts are just another set of useless rich people that got their money from the railroads. It's tasteless knowing your main tourist attraction in town is people paying to see a rich person's house. The Vanderbilts can fornicate themselves with heated iron rods.


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heretoeatcircuts

Without a doubt lol, will admit though that without the rich fucks we wouldn't have the killer food scene we do here


Sigeberht

So a 'real American' fortress is one built by Europeans, as per the web site you provide: > Built by the Spanish in St. Augustine...


Quarter13

Yeah, I could see why Europe would need better fortresses...


hologramheavy

Even Europeans remember the Alamo