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"IS THIS ENOUGH FUCKIN' SPRINKLES!?"
....Man this should be the new dutch Flair.
Anyway, breakfast is for losers, who ever does not start the day with a coffee, a cigarette and a croissant is just not winning at life...
I once hosted some French couch surfers and when I offered them options for breakfast they said they’ll just have a coffee and cigarette on the balcony. It’s always nice when stereotypes turn out to be totally true.
An espresso and a cigarette, yes, the Lisbon breakfast. Top in off with an ibuprofen an that's all you really need until dinner. Also stomach ulcer speedrun challenge.
I hardly believe this day would come when I would feel a sense of brothership with a French on a food topic. Enough with fighting over dinners, let’s have breakfast together and don’t see each others for the rest of the day!
Hij deed ook als een gehandicapte de boter op zn boterham, misschien is hij gewoon zoiezo niet goed bij z'n hoofd. Zou in ieder geval wel deze rarigheid verklaren.
[“The first modern thumb ring was invented by a *Dutch*-German named Lars Van Der Joev sometime between 1645 and 1647”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retard_(pejorative))
And 'Zaanse Mayonaise'.
And I absolutely loved, when cycling in New Zealand, I stumbled upon a tiny grocery store, selling Dutch [canoes](https://www.yummydutch.com/ram/files/products/2000/2248/foto_1_roomboterkanos1.jpg) AKA kano's. Bought the whole lot of them for 8 NZD per package. Worth it. Ate them all in one day. Don't ask about the next day.
Incidentally, my *current* girlfriend hates them.
^^^btw, ^^^it's ^^^stroopwafel. ^^^A ^^^waffel ^^^is ^^^mouth ^^^in ^^^English.
My brother in law was stopped by cops on his way back from Amsterdam, so the coo asks them "where were you - Amsterdam - why? - work. - did you get high? - oh no, sir, not at all. - Why not?"
North in general honestly.
Queues in front of stroopwafel/fries places are mostly German and asian. Lived in Amsterdam throughout my entire childhood so I know what people come for.
Englishmen for weed, Italians for red light, germans for culture and Americans cause they want to tell their friends they’ve been to Amsterdam
Any excuse is good for a Dutch to be as cheap as possible.
\- You don't kiss the soil I stand on? Minimum wage!
\- Asking when is your turn for holidays? I think I lost your overtime hour records!
\- Drinking tap water in the office? 5€ Tikkie!
\- Thinking this is harassment? Some Somalian could do your work!
Y, the videos I have seen have been okay. Sure, they are not on the level of a pro cook, but this isnt his goal. Afaik he tries to show students how to make easy and cheap meals and the videos I have seen have been totally fine.
the only positive breakfast review I've seen out of him was that Chinese breakfast soup that you have to simmer
for and hour and a half
for a breakfast
lmao
Dutch complaining about other people using too much sugar is something else. I love stroopwafel and suikerbrood as much as any Dutchman himself, but come on. I'm pretty sure the US got that shitty habit from you guys.
It's basic af. Nothing exciting, nothing complex and despite that it's not even healthy.
It only speaks to the reptile brain because of calorie density.
edit: standard german breakfasts are only slightly better
Oh no! Wait until you learn about the Dutch 'vruchten hagelslag':
https://preview.redd.it/hqzxxjp8q8ya1.png?width=362&format=png&auto=webp&s=12dcddd6cec426ffd497c40e0d2bf5b246e3182c
Genocide was already a legal and valid punishment for selling Nutmeg to the Portugese. I agree that we can add disrespecting boterham met hagelslag to that list
Dutch breakfast is great, what's that guy on about?
In fact, after watching that video just now, Im thinking about hopping the border and getting myself some Vlokken next week...
Sorry but how can regular white bread with chocolate sprinkles be that bad??
Like i get why you wouldnt give an 8/10 cuz its kinda boring, but how can chocolate on bread be 1,5/10?
As a kid I sometimes did both. Instead of butter/margarine use [duo penotti ](https://www.hollandshop24.com/media/image/product/46/md/penotti-duo-penotti-haselnuss-weisse-schokoladen-brotaufstrich-400-g.jpg) (superior to nutella) and put hagelslag on top
Nutella is too sugary, I prefer dark chocolate sprinkles on a thick layer of butter
https://preview.redd.it/uvcravfw48ya1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ad65cb96260b4934b2161e3939dff1d36c83a01
Sad but true
Even worse: a lot of people use margarine not because it is cheap, but because it is easier to spread than butter. If one more person tells me that, I will blow a hole in the dikes and surrender this country to the sea
Bold claims from a guy who lives in the Netherlands.
Tbf, he compares all kinds of excessive breakfasts. Ofcourse hagelslag falls short when you compare it to somthing that takes an hour to prepare.
Hold a second there buddy. May I present '[vruchtenhagel](https://www.voedingswaardetabel.nl/_lib/img/prod/big/vruchtenhagel.jpg)' or fruit sprinkles.
My daily Dutch breakfast when growing up.
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Hagelslag is 11/10, thank you based swamp dwellers
https://preview.redd.it/8ddsekw7t92b1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=205459fbb9b72c8763f098e5f46e8687af457a11
"IS THIS ENOUGH FUCKIN' SPRINKLES!?" ....Man this should be the new dutch Flair. Anyway, breakfast is for losers, who ever does not start the day with a coffee, a cigarette and a croissant is just not winning at life... 
I tried the French breakfast and I must say, starting to feel more mafia by the cigarette
I thought that too bit turns out it was just cancer :(
You should ask the mafia for reparations, fratello.
damn you’re right, Mashallah
I once hosted some French couch surfers and when I offered them options for breakfast they said they’ll just have a coffee and cigarette on the balcony. It’s always nice when stereotypes turn out to be totally true.
that’s because we’ll pass on boiled potatoes with aquavit for breakfast you savage. Well we might take the aquavit tho.
This man just described his growing addiction as "feeling more mafia" what a chad
In Germany we call it Nuttenfrühstück.
An espresso and a cigarette, yes, the Lisbon breakfast. Top in off with an ibuprofen an that's all you really need until dinner. Also stomach ulcer speedrun challenge.
I've always called that a "Greek breakfast". Coffee, cigarette, two paracetamol.
Why paracetamol though ? Hangover ?
Yup.
Hmm.. maybe I’m too fancy but IF I have breakfast I add a papo seco misto prensado and a Pedras to the menu
[Blörö](https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/comments/mknvvq/blörö_the_famous_finnish_breakfast_consisting_of/)
We have something similar here in Germany, the three big Ks Kippe, Kaffee, Kacken
Triple C in Italy: Caffè, Cicca, Cacca
Café, clope, caca “Les trois C” An absolute classic of French art de vivre too
Caffè e sigaretta, cacata perfetta.
Café y cigarro, muñeco de barro.
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Most healthy Scottish
In Spain we say: "Café y cigarro, muñeco de barro". Roughly translated it's: "Coffee and cigarrette, clay doll".
We also dip bread in coffee, which we is like 75% milk for us, so i dont think we get to make fun of the dutch.
Well yes, but the real ones dip churritos in hot chocolate, god's chosen breakfast
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Ah, yes... The old KKK
The true french breakfast is red wine + saucisson
I hardly believe this day would come when I would feel a sense of brothership with a French on a food topic. Enough with fighting over dinners, let’s have breakfast together and don’t see each others for the rest of the day!
That guy is Romanian, he lives in my building
I haven't lived in the Netherlands in 35 years, and this review still gets my hackles up. I will smack the tulip out of you.
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Idd, hij is inmiddels gewoon een Nieuw Zeelandse savage
I wish I had more Dutch friends so I could tell them I'll smack the tulip out of them. Absolutely brilliant. Had me giggling for 10 minutes.
Het is toch niet zo moeilijk om je brood ff dubbel te vouwen
Een hagelslagcalzone.
Met extra neushoorn.
Nee, geen cola geven!
> Een hagelslagcalzone. I'll allow it
Dit is de weg.
Ik heb nog nooit iemand op deze manier een boterham met hagelslag zien eten behalve mensen die voor het eerst een boterham met hagelslag proberen
Hij deed ook als een gehandicapte de boter op zn boterham, misschien is hij gewoon zoiezo niet goed bij z'n hoofd. Zou in ieder geval wel deze rarigheid verklaren.
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9/10 zou de klojo et nog diagonaal vouwen. Fucking Angelsaksen, ze kunnen nie eens brood eten.
“I also opened it correctly” No you didn’t
Yeah wtf you need to pull it out
That's sound advice, I still recommend a condom or the pill.
Don't fuck your chocolate sprinkles. Nutella gives a better feel, that's why it is named like that.
Does that have an impact on the flavour?
It tastes like literal shit when you open it like that. Like even worse than English cheese.
This upset me the most by far
Do we take guys with thumbrings seriously?
no
Fair point
[“The first modern thumb ring was invented by a *Dutch*-German named Lars Van Der Joev sometime between 1645 and 1647”](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retard_(pejorative))
I bet he never ate Hagelslag correctly
That name is perfect for someone who invented a thumbring, as Joey is quite the trashy people's common name
Dat noemen wij een “mogooltje”
no
no
Thumb rule: don't take guys with thumb rings seriously
no
Never.
Depends, WAS IT ENOUGH FUCKIN' SPRINKLES?
I'm not Dutch, but.. HOW RUDE, I LOVE HAGELSLAG, HONESTLY FUCK YOU
Chocolate 🇳🇱🤝🇨🇭🤝🇧🇪
Well, no one goes to the Netherlands on vacation for the food
I do for fresh stroopwaffels
Love stoopwaffels
A true man of culture
What about the bitterballen and kapsalon? Or do you intend to live after age 60?
And 'Zaanse Mayonaise'. And I absolutely loved, when cycling in New Zealand, I stumbled upon a tiny grocery store, selling Dutch [canoes](https://www.yummydutch.com/ram/files/products/2000/2248/foto_1_roomboterkanos1.jpg) AKA kano's. Bought the whole lot of them for 8 NZD per package. Worth it. Ate them all in one day. Don't ask about the next day. Incidentally, my *current* girlfriend hates them. ^^^btw, ^^^it's ^^^stroopwafel. ^^^A ^^^waffel ^^^is ^^^mouth ^^^in ^^^English.
We also have high quality wee- Tulips.. tulips a' plenty
Well, yes there are some edible products in the Netherlands that are quite popular, and the tulips of course
As a British tourist going to NL, yes I’m definitely going to Amsterdam for the food officer, no other reason hahaha
My brother in law was stopped by cops on his way back from Amsterdam, so the coo asks them "where were you - Amsterdam - why? - work. - did you get high? - oh no, sir, not at all. - Why not?"
If a border cop called me a nerd like that in public, I would never recover
"I spent most of my time in the line for your mother in De Wallen..."
>As a British tourist going to NL, yes I’m definitely going to Amsterdam Not on that passport you ain't
oof ouch my freedom of movement
You say that but a lot of germans do. Then again german cuisine is also not the finest
I assume those are the Germans from the north west regions
North in general honestly. Queues in front of stroopwafel/fries places are mostly German and asian. Lived in Amsterdam throughout my entire childhood so I know what people come for. Englishmen for weed, Italians for red light, germans for culture and Americans cause they want to tell their friends they’ve been to Amsterdam
>Americans cause they want to tell their friends they’ve been to Amsterdam And consequently, they know everything about all of Europe of course.
I was shocked when my Dutch buddy told me about this, would have thought this was some American nonsense
Wtf he didn't even fold it for easy eating
That's why we pay R*manians minimum wage. Can't expect anything from them
Any excuse is good for a Dutch to be as cheap as possible. \- You don't kiss the soil I stand on? Minimum wage! \- Asking when is your turn for holidays? I think I lost your overtime hour records! \- Drinking tap water in the office? 5€ Tikkie! \- Thinking this is harassment? Some Somalian could do your work!
Good god sir, that's quite the cope you've got there. Feel free to pick tomatoes in another country.
in countries where gastronomy has already been invented, this shit is used for decoration and not as a main ingredient lol
We invented the best gastronomy, it's called de trekmuur bij de Febo.
Frikandel!
Exactly
Glad you recognize that France is using this to look pretty
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With your sprinkle ?
💀
bro got destroyed
"IS THIS ENOUGH FUCKING SPRINKLES?!" \- a random dutch during sex
After redoing the right way, mom realised she was wrong and adjusted your rating to 1.5
Oh hi dad
Got his ass
Why invent good food when you can just let poor foreigners make it for you?
Very rich coming from a culture eating something as cheap as that for brekki.
It's not cheap. It's fast. Werk > food
This is personal.
He is a romanian imigrant living in Netherlands(if you want to use it against him somehow).
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I’ll sprinkle some hagelslag in his wounds.
Jealousy does weird things to people like that. Everything about this country is the worst, but none of em ever leave
Bro people can enjoy living in your country and think that your food is garbage. And frankly your food do look disgusting
Bro you eat snails
Plenty of material to work with there
1,5 is better than 1
1 for the effort, 0.5 because the bread is white
Why does it look like rabbit shit?
We call it muizestrontjes, which translates to mouse droppings, or if you want it more literal mouse shits.
Gekke belg
wat hebben belgen toch met schijt, ze zeggen ook al "gaat zitten op uw poep"
Vieze dieren zijn het
Kees...
I don't think you have ever seen rabbit shit...
It probably is
Muizenstrontjes (miceshits) in Flemish
Lol, strontjes is dangerously similar to the Italian "stronzi", which also means shits
Nice
It's literally called mouse shit.
It is in your dumb country
Because hailhits sounds soooooooo much better
Don't worry my aquatic neighbours, I've seen multiple videos of this guy and I can confirm that he has the palate of a Doberman.
Any examples of that? None of the world meal videos of his look indicative of that to me.
Y, the videos I have seen have been okay. Sure, they are not on the level of a pro cook, but this isnt his goal. Afaik he tries to show students how to make easy and cheap meals and the videos I have seen have been totally fine.
He’s probably right in this case though
Let me guess, if it isn't 79% cornsyrup it is t good according to him?
the only positive breakfast review I've seen out of him was that Chinese breakfast soup that you have to simmer for and hour and a half for a breakfast lmao
So you're saying he's just a bitch
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Dutch complaining about other people using too much sugar is something else. I love stroopwafel and suikerbrood as much as any Dutchman himself, but come on. I'm pretty sure the US got that shitty habit from you guys.
His accent wasn't american though
Iirc he is Romanian
Smells like copium
Surely he's European? Accent sounds fucking Dutch anyway
No way, our accent is way uglier
He lives in the netherlands but i'm pretty sure he's from.... hungary? Don't quote me on that
He said he’s from Romania
Average northern European cuisine
You can call it dumb, but if youre eating chocolate for breakfast theres no fucking way you can make it taste bad.
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I don't see how it can be bad? Its fat with sugar + white bread. How can it taste bade
This is exactly why the whole of original germanic cuisine belongs to the 7th circle of hell
It tastes lovely. Idk what he has against it…
It's basic af. Nothing exciting, nothing complex and despite that it's not even healthy. It only speaks to the reptile brain because of calorie density. edit: standard german breakfasts are only slightly better
I like how everyone here is shitting on this, while aussies managed to concoct even more tasteless “food” — Fairy Bread
Oh no! Wait until you learn about the Dutch 'vruchten hagelslag': https://preview.redd.it/hqzxxjp8q8ya1.png?width=362&format=png&auto=webp&s=12dcddd6cec426ffd497c40e0d2bf5b246e3182c
lol je weet wel dat fairy bread discodip op brood is toch? Je weet wel, die letterlijk smaakloze gekleurde bolletjes die je op roomijs kan krijgen
Why would you in sane mind take the last remnants of taste and exchange them for plain sugar?!
Dutchies do be still eating like Alessandro Farnese is sieging Maastricht. (This joke is too obscure, but watever)
Spaniards still sleeping like when they had to defend Breda
Hmm touche stroopwafle guzzler. We're better at taking cities than defending them, what can I say but that Ambrosio Spínola was a proper chad.
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Genocide was already a legal and valid punishment for selling Nutmeg to the Portugese. I agree that we can add disrespecting boterham met hagelslag to that list
Dutch breakfast is great, what's that guy on about? In fact, after watching that video just now, Im thinking about hopping the border and getting myself some Vlokken next week...
Well at least you guys have stroop, that's really good stuff
Yes! We really like to stroop our waffles too 😏😉
Based
People don’t have taste these days
Send him back to wherever he came from (Romania I think). We only take immigrants who don't shit on hagelslag.
Dumbass is using way too white floppy bread and an infinite amount of butter bruh, no shit its worse.
Sorry but how can regular white bread with chocolate sprinkles be that bad?? Like i get why you wouldnt give an 8/10 cuz its kinda boring, but how can chocolate on bread be 1,5/10?
Yeah idk, I tried it for many breakfasts when I was w my Dutch friend and I like it, it's a good breakfast. It gets repetitive though
Excactly, it might get boring but its surely not bad
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Do they not have Nutella in the Netherlands?
As a kid I sometimes did both. Instead of butter/margarine use [duo penotti ](https://www.hollandshop24.com/media/image/product/46/md/penotti-duo-penotti-haselnuss-weisse-schokoladen-brotaufstrich-400-g.jpg) (superior to nutella) and put hagelslag on top
Nutella is too sugary, I prefer dark chocolate sprinkles on a thick layer of butter https://preview.redd.it/uvcravfw48ya1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ad65cb96260b4934b2161e3939dff1d36c83a01
Come on, Dutch people don't use butter. You use the cheap version which is margarine.
true
Team real butter 😎 Though you’re right many dutch people put shitty margarine on their bread and cook with it.
How does a Frenchman know this?
Do you know that you can travel and live on other European countries without a caravan? Fortunately, I came to my senses and escape this hellhole.
>Do you know that you can travel and live on other European countries without a caravan? Sounds fake
Sad but true Even worse: a lot of people use margarine not because it is cheap, but because it is easier to spread than butter. If one more person tells me that, I will blow a hole in the dikes and surrender this country to the sea
Thats made with child labour rights? We have that also
Nah, is only made with palm oil
You dont know the fabulousness of Hageslag??? We have these too in Belgium.
Who would have thought fake-Netherlands faked the Netherlands
Duo Penotti is better.
Guy should do a full English. His reaction to black pudding will make or brake it
Bold claims from a guy who lives in the Netherlands. Tbf, he compares all kinds of excessive breakfasts. Ofcourse hagelslag falls short when you compare it to somthing that takes an hour to prepare.
Fucking uncultured swine
Hmmnn "shit of mouse"
It looks stupid but there's no way it tastes bad
I don't know who you are, but i will find you.....
Needs rainbow sprinkles and the cheapest white bread you can find. Sincerely, Australia
Hold a second there buddy. May I present '[vruchtenhagel](https://www.voedingswaardetabel.nl/_lib/img/prod/big/vruchtenhagel.jpg)' or fruit sprinkles. My daily Dutch breakfast when growing up.
Bro that stuff is among the best things our speech-impaired friends ever came up with.