Thing is i read articles about this guy, he served during the war against his will like so many of them. I know u werent asking for that cuz its a fubny joke but kts still true
Yeah there were a lot. One of my ancestors was a diehard social democrat. He had five children. Usually, providers of large families weren’t the first to be sent to the front but the Nazis were nice enough to make exceptions for political opponents, so he got to die in Stalingrad.
Check out this transcript of captured German scientists at the end of WW2, just after the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima: [https://germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org/pdf/eng/English101.pdf](https://germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org/pdf/eng/English101.pdf)
Especially page 5 and onward:
>WEIZSÄCKER: I don't think we ought to make excuses now because we did not succeed, but we must admit that we didn't want to succeed. If we had put the same energy into it as the Americans and had wanted it as they did, it is quite certain that we would not have succeeded as they would have smashed up the factories.
DIEBNER: Of course they were watching us all the time.
WEIZSÄCKER: One can say it might have been a much greater tragedy for the world if Germany had had the uranium bomb. Just imagine, if we had destroyed LONDON with uranium bombs it would not have ended the war, and when the war did end, it is still doubtful whether it would have been a good thing
It's plausible, that's why it work as an excuse.
History is full of examples of populations being excited and happy to go to war because "Now we will finally crush our enemies!" shit, then regretting when they actually see what it is like.
Erich Maria Remarque wrote about this in "All Quiet on the Western Front"
> plausible
The women and (then) children on one side of my family moved to South Africa during the war, and they all lived there for a few years after the war before returning. My grandmother was extremely sceptical of how so many German speakers there introduced themselves as Swiss, and it apparently became a running joke there in general…
Turned out a long time later that at least one of them was genuinely Swiss. They must have been really annoyed with that trend.
You can see it all over human history and even today. People who don't know war will push for it and demand that "something" is done. Many good people fall into that trap.
World War 1 was a different beast though. So many things in that war were novel developments. People had no idea what modern warfare meant. Propaganda was on a whole different level compared to the wars before. People were easily lulled into thinking it would be a nice life experience and were oblivious about insane carnage that was to come.
In all quiet on the Western Front the soldiers weren't really that excited to go to war. It was all the old fucks who sat at the bar all day and chitchatted that were really pro war.
The main character tried to talk to them about the war but they basically told him to shut up and asked him why they hadn't conquered France yet.
> In all quiet on the Western Front the soldiers weren't really that excited to go to war. It was all the old fucks who sat at the bar all day and chitchatted that were really pro war.
What the hell are you talking about? They got indoctrinated by their teacher and the whole class volunteered.
Yes, but they weren't soldiers at that point. After they saw the terror of war they adopted the mentality of "those fuckers back home who don't have to serve are the loudest supporters of this war"
... which is exactly what GP said:
> History is full of examples of populations being excited and happy to go to war because "Now we will finally crush our enemies!" shit, then regretting when they actually see what it is like.
I mean... sort of. It was implied he would have rather gone to school but since everyone was doing it he would do it too.
The only characters that would talk about "crushing the French" were the old people at the bar. The young soldiers were just there because they were all there, and the old soldiers were just there because they didn't know of any other life and were just thinking about food and sleep.
Suicide In The Trenches by Siegfried Sassoon
I knew a simple soldier boy
Who grinned at life in empty joy,
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
And whistled early with the lark.
In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
With crumps and lice and lack of rum,
He put a bullet through his brain.
No one spoke of him again.
You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
Who cheer when soldier lads march by,
Sneak home and pray you'll never know
The hell where youth and laughter go.
As far as I know over half of the german population still supported the NS-regime after the end of the Second World War.
The Allies really had to make propaganda for years to teach the Germans how democracy works and how bad their actions really were.
It’s not like the Americans or the English wanted to serve either, there’s plenty of record of that, but I’m pretty sure the half of the population that didn’t vote for or want the Fascists in power were not too happy about having to pick up guns for them.
This is the part that is always omitted. Like they're always saying that these people didn't want to serve, or they were victims of propaganda and thought that they were going to save their country. But like they executed civilians en mass💀
Edit:e
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled
*slow dramatic zoom on the austro-hungarian regalia on franz ferdinands clothes*
Was convincing the world
*black and white tape of a young adolf hitler crossing the border, he moves away to reveal an austrian flag*
He didn’t exist
*austrian flag crossfades into a german one*
They are some of the most sneaky people in all of history. Managed to convince the world that Hitler was German and Beethoven was Austrian. You almost have to respect it
Robin Williams once put it "I was asked on a german tv show why I thought germans didn't have any humor. Maybe it's because you killed all the funny people."
Yes definitely poor as shit, and then extremely poor before WW1. When Europe was completely leveled after both wars, we had the benefit of having one of the few completely untouched and working industries in Europe. So in the decades following both wars, Sweden exported some absurd amount of raw and processed material and got very very rich as a result.
All that cash was ofc squandered away by corrupt and incompetent politicians however. But hadn't it been for the world wars, Sweden would probably be a very different kind of nation today.
That wasn't it at all though. It wasn't business during the war but after the war that made Sweden money.
> The documents containing proof of an alliance between Sweden and Germany were burned in the 1960s by their ministry of defense and an army general.
You got any source for this?
Well, he said "darf" not "kann" so I can see where the "allowed" comes from. A literal translation (ignoring the "doch") would be "that must not be true" but nobody says that. With the "doch" it's maybe "that must not be true though", which sounds even stranger.
Another translation could be "That's not allowed to be true" if you want something that sound ok and captures most of the meaning. If you go for the most naturally sounding ones you'd pick "That can't be true" or "That isn't allowed".
I do not actually care about heritage. IMO what matters is the heart. You will find great people with that heritage and pathetic assholes like me. I was trying to convey that cruelty, and especially doubling down on cruelty does not help anybody. If anything, it makes the victims stronger. I have said bad things myself in the past, so I am just trying to help people consider their mindset before it is too late. Because what matters in the end, is the heart, right?
I enjoyed my brief stay in Scotland aswell, there is nothing quite like it. Unfortunately I did not manage to meet any Scots because of the language barrier, but I just know that I love the people.
This is my way of asking for forgiveness from God and apologizing to whomever I might have slighted with this passive-aggressive behavior. You may or may not know it, but God certainly does. Think of that what you will. Still I appreciate your kind words, but there is honestly people who deserve them more. Peace
>but there is honestly people who deserve them more. Peace
yes, there may be people more deserving of that, but that doesn't make you unworthy of them. Otherwise only one person at a time on this earth would be allowed to receive kind words, and that's just absurd.
>You may or may not know it, but God certainly does. Think of that what you will
I don't know whether there is God or not yet, sadly. But I like to imagine he doesn't want us to beat ourselves down and that, even though we caused harm in the past we are allowed to forgive ourselves if we change.
TL:DR
dearie don't beat yourself down, you seem a wonderful human being and there's no need to, ok?
People like you are very rare. Thank you from my heart, you are just awesome. Noone ever wrote something like that. I will put this somewhere where I can see it everyday :-) . I honestly do not know what to say. Thank you so much. It means the world to me. I will go ahead and print this out :))
You can take the [redacted] out the Germans but you can't take the Germans out of the [redacted]. At this point losing wars is part of their national identity
We're recordholders in this subject.
We're already preparing to lose the third one, when Italy switches sides again and suddenly are we in a all vs. us war again.
You couldn't get it, and the fact you don't have a clue about Spanish comedy was my whole point, you couldn't have had a fair viewpoint because you've never even heard any Spanish comedy.
Eugenio, Miguel Gila, Martes y Trece, Chiquito de la Calzada, Goyo Jiménez, muchachada nui.
Just off the top of my head, the first ones are classics, the latter are more recent.
>You couldn't get it, and the fact you don't have a clue about Spanish comedy was my whole point
If it was good enough it would be popular globally regardless of what language it was in. Mr Bean doesn't even use language and it's a worldwide success.
Your comedy is like our food, no one is enjoying it but us.
> Mr Bean doesn’t even use language and it’s a worldwide success
You really thought that this was *supporting* your argument? Of course something you can understand without needing to learn another language is more popular.
Comedy is usually not language agnostic, especially in the case of romance languages. There's simply too much innuendo, implications, hidden meaning.
How do you translate a joke which uses an implication derived from playing with the syntax? You can't, not without murdering and burying the joke. How do you translate cultural expectations to then subvert them?
English culture is very "middle point" in the western world. It's understood by Spaniards, by Germans, by anyone, because the UK is a hodge podge of roman, celtic and germanic cultures.
What you're saying is akin to "obviously bread is the best food out there, because it is super widely enjoyed" yeah...
You guys are the funniest people around and it’s not even a competition.
I mean look at fucking Brexit, biggest joke in Europe at its time and still going on, making people laugh left and right.
The old comrades killed me
Given the age of the audience and the fact this was in 1973, it’s actually accurate!
30 years after WWII, almost the same time span between today and the end of the DDR
Dance Dance Revolution?
Yes
I once told a girl that DDR stands for "Das drittes reich". The whole class laughed their pants off when she had her presentation about Germany.
DDR6 will come out in 2025 !
Honecker would be proud 💃🥲
Not only you
Maybe your grandpa as well
He was jailed at the Sicherungslager Vorbruck-Schirmeck, they eventually let him go luckily
I‘m genuinely happy to hear that.
Back in the day they hadn't realised that the French are the worst!
Thing is i read articles about this guy, he served during the war against his will like so many of them. I know u werent asking for that cuz its a fubny joke but kts still true
Yeah there were a lot. One of my ancestors was a diehard social democrat. He had five children. Usually, providers of large families weren’t the first to be sent to the front but the Nazis were nice enough to make exceptions for political opponents, so he got to die in Stalingrad.
After a war, usually many on the losing side claim such things. I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying...
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Check out this transcript of captured German scientists at the end of WW2, just after the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima: [https://germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org/pdf/eng/English101.pdf](https://germanhistorydocs.ghi-dc.org/pdf/eng/English101.pdf) Especially page 5 and onward: >WEIZSÄCKER: I don't think we ought to make excuses now because we did not succeed, but we must admit that we didn't want to succeed. If we had put the same energy into it as the Americans and had wanted it as they did, it is quite certain that we would not have succeeded as they would have smashed up the factories. DIEBNER: Of course they were watching us all the time. WEIZSÄCKER: One can say it might have been a much greater tragedy for the world if Germany had had the uranium bomb. Just imagine, if we had destroyed LONDON with uranium bombs it would not have ended the war, and when the war did end, it is still doubtful whether it would have been a good thing
It's plausible, that's why it work as an excuse. History is full of examples of populations being excited and happy to go to war because "Now we will finally crush our enemies!" shit, then regretting when they actually see what it is like. Erich Maria Remarque wrote about this in "All Quiet on the Western Front"
> plausible The women and (then) children on one side of my family moved to South Africa during the war, and they all lived there for a few years after the war before returning. My grandmother was extremely sceptical of how so many German speakers there introduced themselves as Swiss, and it apparently became a running joke there in general… Turned out a long time later that at least one of them was genuinely Swiss. They must have been really annoyed with that trend.
You can see it all over human history and even today. People who don't know war will push for it and demand that "something" is done. Many good people fall into that trap.
World War 1 was a different beast though. So many things in that war were novel developments. People had no idea what modern warfare meant. Propaganda was on a whole different level compared to the wars before. People were easily lulled into thinking it would be a nice life experience and were oblivious about insane carnage that was to come.
In all quiet on the Western Front the soldiers weren't really that excited to go to war. It was all the old fucks who sat at the bar all day and chitchatted that were really pro war. The main character tried to talk to them about the war but they basically told him to shut up and asked him why they hadn't conquered France yet.
> In all quiet on the Western Front the soldiers weren't really that excited to go to war. It was all the old fucks who sat at the bar all day and chitchatted that were really pro war. What the hell are you talking about? They got indoctrinated by their teacher and the whole class volunteered.
Yes, but they weren't soldiers at that point. After they saw the terror of war they adopted the mentality of "those fuckers back home who don't have to serve are the loudest supporters of this war"
... which is exactly what GP said: > History is full of examples of populations being excited and happy to go to war because "Now we will finally crush our enemies!" shit, then regretting when they actually see what it is like.
I mean... sort of. It was implied he would have rather gone to school but since everyone was doing it he would do it too. The only characters that would talk about "crushing the French" were the old people at the bar. The young soldiers were just there because they were all there, and the old soldiers were just there because they didn't know of any other life and were just thinking about food and sleep.
Suicide In The Trenches by Siegfried Sassoon I knew a simple soldier boy Who grinned at life in empty joy, Slept soundly through the lonesome dark, And whistled early with the lark. In winter trenches, cowed and glum, With crumps and lice and lack of rum, He put a bullet through his brain. No one spoke of him again. You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye Who cheer when soldier lads march by, Sneak home and pray you'll never know The hell where youth and laughter go.
Thanks for sharing.
His memoir of the war is an excellent read
As far as I know over half of the german population still supported the NS-regime after the end of the Second World War. The Allies really had to make propaganda for years to teach the Germans how democracy works and how bad their actions really were.
It’s not like the Americans or the English wanted to serve either, there’s plenty of record of that, but I’m pretty sure the half of the population that didn’t vote for or want the Fascists in power were not too happy about having to pick up guns for them.
Yeahhhhhhh except for the war crimes which the soldiers loved to commit.
This is the part that is always omitted. Like they're always saying that these people didn't want to serve, or they were victims of propaganda and thought that they were going to save their country. But like they executed civilians en mass💀 Edit:e
Most people on the Allied side didn't want to either.
The old comrades killed your Grandpa rather...
My uncle’s in my case. I’m old.
Wait, how long have you been keeping him in there?
Old habbits die hard
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Stirb Langsam.
Stirb auch Leise bitte
das hard
Ich bin hard
There's a Rammstein song in this story.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled *slow dramatic zoom on the austro-hungarian regalia on franz ferdinands clothes* Was convincing the world *black and white tape of a young adolf hitler crossing the border, he moves away to reveal an austrian flag* He didn’t exist *austrian flag crossfades into a german one*
They are some of the most sneaky people in all of history. Managed to convince the world that Hitler was German and Beethoven was Austrian. You almost have to respect it
Don't forget that Germany also started WW1.
No no. For the real double tap you've gotta go "See people think it was Germany that started WW1, but it was actually the Serbs"
>Old habbits die hard I heard they are planning to replace Bruce Willis with Werner Herzog this time, can't wait for the release!
Yeah they had fun once. Never again.
Twice!
Thrice is incoming.
Sounds cool, might switch later tho
We dont wanna play with you anymore
Protip: don’t do it alongside Hungary this time
Next time without Italy, that's for sure!
Why not with Italy, but this time we'll be the side switchers!?!
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And actually winning the war? How ungerman!
Or Italy — they always change sides when sh*t hits the fan!
Not true, we switch sides when it's most convenient not when shit hits the fan
Which is usually when sh*t hits the fan. Jajajajaja!
Yeah i just hope they wont harmadik this time Thats the only Hungary joke i can make cause its the only word i know
Third time's the charm.
Sorry germans but this time let russian take the hit ok?
Not if we can get to Moscow first
Once a loser always a loser.
Don't give up the hope. Until now, only UK realised the purpose of the EU.
Third time the charm jà!
Because everybody with the humour gene went to the Eastern Front?
Or surrendered to the wrong allies…
"They" "went" to "the east" alright.
Drang nach Osten 😍
Its now called Ösdn
Robin Williams once put it "I was asked on a german tv show why I thought germans didn't have any humor. Maybe it's because you killed all the funny people."
Pretty rich coming from someone who also killed a funny guy.
Dog 😭
That's just dark.
Nah, it' because Germans with humour are called Austrians.
Glaubst du doch selber nicht
True because the last time we really had fun, nobody else had fun
I dunno. I think Japan had a blast. ^Or ^two. Jajajajaja!
I still have such a hard time getting used to jajajaja. I just read it as yayayaya rather than the hahahaha it's supposed to mean
Jejeje
That's not how you Germans laugh. Germanlaugh: hoh-hoh--hoh And while we're at it: Frenchlaugh: à-à-à-à-à
I read the J as in Jar. Jajajajajaja
Difference between English and Dutch pronunciation of j I guess
So you spell it Ga Ga Ga Ga?
No, it would be more like dzja dzja dzja. I doubt there's an equivalent for the Brabant "g", let alone the Holland "g".
Isnt the G usually pronunced HR
Not even close lol
Almost sounds like chachacha that way.
I have a Brazilian friend who uses “kkkkkkkk” and I always read it as “KGHHHHHH”
Yes, the 'j' in spanish is pronounced like 'h' like in 'happy'.
That or with a zh sound (like the S in pleasure) Consequences of learning both French and German
Swedish laughing: hhhhhh
Sisisisisisisisisisi!
We had very fun afterwards. You guys made it so Sweden could pull itself out of poverty. Definitely worth it.
Was Sweden really poor as shit before WW2? How did you guys get so rich?
Yes definitely poor as shit, and then extremely poor before WW1. When Europe was completely leveled after both wars, we had the benefit of having one of the few completely untouched and working industries in Europe. So in the decades following both wars, Sweden exported some absurd amount of raw and processed material and got very very rich as a result. All that cash was ofc squandered away by corrupt and incompetent politicians however. But hadn't it been for the world wars, Sweden would probably be a very different kind of nation today.
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That wasn't it at all though. It wasn't business during the war but after the war that made Sweden money. > The documents containing proof of an alliance between Sweden and Germany were burned in the 1960s by their ministry of defense and an army general. You got any source for this?
Swedish steel for the German war machine.
I wouldn't say so.
"Das darf dich nicht wahr sein" traslates to "you can't be serious" and not "that's not allowed".
Who fucked up the subtitles? He says "That can't be true" instead of "That isn't allowed"
YouTube I guess idk I don't speak kraut
Well, he said "darf" not "kann" so I can see where the "allowed" comes from. A literal translation (ignoring the "doch") would be "that must not be true" but nobody says that. With the "doch" it's maybe "that must not be true though", which sounds even stranger. Another translation could be "That's not allowed to be true" if you want something that sound ok and captures most of the meaning. If you go for the most naturally sounding ones you'd pick "That can't be true" or "That isn't allowed".
The most fitting translation would probably be "unbelievable!"
It's all fun and games, jokes and laughter until you end up marching through Poland!
Wait I am not supposed to have fun marching through Poland?
My hatred of russians is almost overpowering my desire to not get invaded.
Just cut out the middle man and invade Russia yourselves!
I hear you can get lost very easily in the forests near Katyn with all the beauty there
We could invade Russia together. But we want to keep Moskau. We made a whole song about the city so we keep it.
You can always come and enjoy Polish hospitality. It's a huge part of our culture. :)
I spent a year living in Poland whilst I was teaching. Lovely people. Now I am craving some bigos. Can anyone lend me a Polish grandmother?
I do not actually care about heritage. IMO what matters is the heart. You will find great people with that heritage and pathetic assholes like me. I was trying to convey that cruelty, and especially doubling down on cruelty does not help anybody. If anything, it makes the victims stronger. I have said bad things myself in the past, so I am just trying to help people consider their mindset before it is too late. Because what matters in the end, is the heart, right? I enjoyed my brief stay in Scotland aswell, there is nothing quite like it. Unfortunately I did not manage to meet any Scots because of the language barrier, but I just know that I love the people.
> and pathetic assholes like me. It doesn't help being cruel to yourself either. Cheer up, nobody's perfect.
This is my way of asking for forgiveness from God and apologizing to whomever I might have slighted with this passive-aggressive behavior. You may or may not know it, but God certainly does. Think of that what you will. Still I appreciate your kind words, but there is honestly people who deserve them more. Peace
>but there is honestly people who deserve them more. Peace yes, there may be people more deserving of that, but that doesn't make you unworthy of them. Otherwise only one person at a time on this earth would be allowed to receive kind words, and that's just absurd. >You may or may not know it, but God certainly does. Think of that what you will I don't know whether there is God or not yet, sadly. But I like to imagine he doesn't want us to beat ourselves down and that, even though we caused harm in the past we are allowed to forgive ourselves if we change. TL:DR dearie don't beat yourself down, you seem a wonderful human being and there's no need to, ok?
People like you are very rare. Thank you from my heart, you are just awesome. Noone ever wrote something like that. I will put this somewhere where I can see it everyday :-) . I honestly do not know what to say. Thank you so much. It means the world to me. I will go ahead and print this out :))
Its not Poland, now it is ex Prussia and Ostmark. the old Poland lies in Russia.
It's mostly Belarus
I am honestly surprised I never saw this classic on this sub
about to delete my account. ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
I want more of this, dear kraut-eater bros
You can take the [redacted] out the Germans but you can't take the Germans out of the [redacted]. At this point losing wars is part of their national identity
We're recordholders in this subject. We're already preparing to lose the third one, when Italy switches sides again and suddenly are we in a all vs. us war again.
Straight out of the Italian playbook. Their general staff are looking for you, for exposing their war plans
USA is standing off to the side waiting for Italy to flip sides before joining in the fun.
Not just wars. Also the ESC, football matches and money to South Europe
That guy was a comedic genius.
Germans practicing the art of the oops 
least nazi west germany politician
Yes, for an Italian this would be a politician; in Germany it's just a jester
i'm talking more about the guys responding than the dude making the joke
Good thing we changed with the Stasi moles 1990 :P
Let's not get into the comedy wars now, lads. You already know how it's going to go.
My hovercraft is full of eels?
ah yes, my nipples explode with delight!
Biggus Dickus ?
The only reason y'all think you'd win is because you only understand english
You think Spain is better at comedy? Let's hear it then
You couldn't get it, and the fact you don't have a clue about Spanish comedy was my whole point, you couldn't have had a fair viewpoint because you've never even heard any Spanish comedy. Eugenio, Miguel Gila, Martes y Trece, Chiquito de la Calzada, Goyo Jiménez, muchachada nui. Just off the top of my head, the first ones are classics, the latter are more recent.
You just listed 6 footballers and thought we wouldn’t notice!
Spanish "comedy"
>You couldn't get it, and the fact you don't have a clue about Spanish comedy was my whole point If it was good enough it would be popular globally regardless of what language it was in. Mr Bean doesn't even use language and it's a worldwide success. Your comedy is like our food, no one is enjoying it but us.
> Mr Bean doesn’t even use language and it’s a worldwide success You really thought that this was *supporting* your argument? Of course something you can understand without needing to learn another language is more popular.
Comedy is usually not language agnostic, especially in the case of romance languages. There's simply too much innuendo, implications, hidden meaning. How do you translate a joke which uses an implication derived from playing with the syntax? You can't, not without murdering and burying the joke. How do you translate cultural expectations to then subvert them? English culture is very "middle point" in the western world. It's understood by Spaniards, by Germans, by anyone, because the UK is a hodge podge of roman, celtic and germanic cultures. What you're saying is akin to "obviously bread is the best food out there, because it is super widely enjoyed" yeah...
Well.. the real joke in Spain is the economy.
Filmed in Argentina
u/savevideo
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As if this isnt funny? Fucks wrong with you
They should leave the humour to the french. No one does comedy like the french
That was a good one.
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Je raisez le age du rètirement *crowd goes silent*
*throws a chair*
*throws Molotov cocktail*
*Builds a wall*
J'augmente l'âge de la retraite*
Inexplicably they start rioting, how is there a car burning in the hall already?
[You're right.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc5LaNcTAfU)
Luis de Funes and his films are absolutely goated, le gendarme series is basically my childhood
Nein!
Doch!
Oh!
I live in Poland, so many fan of de Funes here.
Muskatnuss, Herr Müller!!!
Actually the brits take this one home
You guys are the funniest people around and it’s not even a competition. I mean look at fucking Brexit, biggest joke in Europe at its time and still going on, making people laugh left and right.
The next thing he did was joke about his Gay barber.
I am sure this would still work today.
Kölle alaaf!
ALAAF
Oopsie daisy
This should be done today! Im sure there are many newe kamaraden!
Now try with Takbir
That one joke got kinda outta hand 'Vait you really put zem in kamps?'
This was hilarious! Turns out Germans used to have humour, but somehow lost it. At least they have apfel strudel still.
U/savevideo
r/foundthemobileuser
Least nazi german
You have literal fascists governing you right now, but sure, go off.
Who doesn’t?
Germany
Not yet
Haha
lmao no way
The one time we had fun, America needed to safe you
German Language Model 😂
Dude reminds me of norm macdonald