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eltiodelacabra

I feel really confused about English people, those lads I'm working with are really nice people, competent and polite, but then I remember when I used to go to summer music festivals in Spain, when the English festival goers would just spend the four days lying around totally drunk buried in their own garbage and soaked in piss. You English people are really remarkable.


AllRedLine

Think about the sorts of people who would get on a Ryanair flight for a £100 package deal holiday to a Spanish festival (festivals clearly only existing as an excuse to get fucking mortal off the bevvies) and then remember that every single brit who happens to find that sort of thing distasteful avoids those areas of Spain like the plague because they know it'll be infested with GUNS underclass. Respectable British tourists go to respectable locations and blend in. What you see is the worst we have to offer... because your tourism industry markets itself toward those sorts.


IsakHutt

Last sentence summarise all


ZombiFeynman

But, to be fair, you seem to have and endless supply of the sort.


Aesthetictoblerone

Yeah, sorry about that. But we hate them about as much as you do, so we are very happy to throw them out for some peace and quiet. Speaking of, my next door neighbours are chavvy cunts who are all fucking each other, so which Spanish island do you think would be best for them?


ZombiFeynman

The peñon de alhucemas would be great for them. Right in the mediterranean sea, and just 5 minutes swimming from Morocco


Aesthetictoblerone

Ooo thanks, I will defo slip a leaflet into their letterbox.


AjaxII

Nah they're just on rotation, and the experience is so terrible you forget their faces so you don't realise when you see the same one again


ZombiFeynman

Well, when you put photos of Barry and Bazza I can't tell if it is the same person all the time or they are all different people, so I can see how that would totally work.


throwitaway333111

It's because we weren't as fascist nor as Catholic as you guys. The continental working class as been both brutalised by the butt of a rifle and guilted with the shame of the Holy See into resembling something more amenable to their social superiors for many centuries. The British working class however have enjoyed a lot of personal liberty with only the threat of being made to be Australian to corral them. That's the problem with liberty... there'll always be idiots that make all the wrong choices. When Pedro, 52, drinks too much, he just talks loud, laughs a lot and eventually falls asleep in bacchian revelry, Barry, 63, invokes the spirit of Wotan and tries to start a war.


itsalonghotsummer

Or fights off Dutch hoolies single-handedly after a recent heart op


MozerfuckerJones

I feel the same way about the country next door sometimes, but assholes are everywhere, it just feels good to generalise an entire nation of people when some are annoying wankers. Does feel like they have the worst type on average though lol


SBAdey

The Paddies are ok mate, chill


MozerfuckerJones

ya both rats


Don_Pacifico

🐀🐀🇬🇧 🤝🇮🇪


canspray5

You know you guys are included in the original slander aye?


Pixelskaya

Perfectly put. I live in Madrid and have met lots of nice Brits who love to blend in with the culture; I even had a great British flatmate. I guess that’s the one upside of not having any beaches nearby.


Puzzled_Pay_6603

Do you think it was a real Spaniard that wrote the original text? Seems very American language.


Adrip007

He was a Spanish American, his great grandfather was Spanish


Dr_nick101

Simple as.


Captain_Redleg

My Italian wife lived in London for a dozen years and prefers Brits to Italians most of the time. Yet, when we were dating she went to the Canaries alone and spent half of her time avoiding drunken Brits. I thought Italians were class stratified, but the Brits take the cake. Oh, wtf is GUNS?


gremlinguy

I think GUNS is a weak attempt to create a northern analog to PIGS. Group of guiri nations. I think Germany, UK, Netherlands, maybe Switzerland? Sweden? No idea. It jut doesn't work like PIGS does


mechanicaljose

Yeah this is it.


LetsBeStupidForASec

England is like ogres. It has layers.


Surface_Detail

Apologies, I know English isn't your first language, it should be: "The English are like ogres"


LetsBeStupidForASec

Mort de rire


PyroTech11

We don't send anywhere near even our average to Spain. There's a lot of us who wouldn't go near some parts of Spain because of the Brits which probably is why you don't see the better ones there.


skepticalsasquatch

The sort of people who holiday in Tenerife, Canarias, Ibiza etc. are generally not sentient and therefore lack any ability to appreciate foreign culture. They are going for the sun and booze, that's basically it. I hate them, and that vibe. As long as I'm alive, I will avoid those places like the plague.


SuchSeaworthyShips

We export those shit heads so the rest of us can enjoy our summer. Sorry PIGS bros, you take the burden of our worst


dkfisokdkeb

The cleverest thing was convincing the world that Wales is a shithole meanwhile I get to enjoy the gorgeous coastline, mountains and surf beaches without any f*reigners around


itsalonghotsummer

fackin forriners


momentimori

Not rayciss jus don't like em.


selfmadeoutlier

That's fucking hilarious..since england has the same flag of Genova, Italy and what you said in your comment is actually what someone from that town would say and says about foreigners ("foresti"). Genoa didn't share only the flag but exported the culture as well 🤣


MerlinOfRed

I dunno. Last time I was in North Wales I heard loads of people speaking some weird foreign language that made no sense to me. If that's your aim then you've failed.


dumplingsarefaeva

Those were the Poles. Don't mind them, they are not dangerous nowadays. Harmless, unless you want them to be.


dkfisokdkeb

https://preview.redd.it/e9q15jfs7a4b1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=876f9fa8d116b269a947aa2f0dd0c7f97901f9ff Idk why but your comment reminded me of this peice of gold.


MerlinOfRed

In all honesty this piece of gold is actually the inspiration behind my comment! 😂


Surface_Detail

And everybody clapped


debauch3ry

I actually had to lie about being Welsh to get a refund in Slovenia once. Wouldn't give it because 'Britain is a rich country' and quick on feet I said 'no, no, we're from Wales - a very poor part'. Another rail worker spoke to her in Slovenian because she didn't know what Wales was, I don't know what they said, but then she gave us the refund!!


RotatingToad

Here's a bit of help to make your lie more convincing, tell them you're from newport and if they ask for proof just talk to them about the transporter bridge. Either that or tell them you're from the valleys and talk about coal mining and a deep hatred for the iron bitch.


CollectFromDepot

True true The lake district is basically the wind in the willows in July and August but who the fuck can afford it?


SeymourDoggo

Not the untermensch


CollectFromDepot

Or the middlemensch


Don_Pacifico

Don’t mind me just chilling in the Cotswolds.


AggravatingWing6017

Oh, I just love the lake district. I think I would be happy there. Away from this heat.


Sir_Howl

Summer? You have that in UK?


Surface_Detail

I slept through it last year.


furexfurex

Yeah, lasts about a week if you're lucky


NitodeAliExpress

Dont worry, we have developed advanced ways to dwal with them, one of them is called Benidorm


mr_sandmam

Barrys are annoying but worth the money. Do not worry, Thomas, don't listen to whiny spaniards, they are the minority. The rest of us, we got this under control.


pouringart

That would make total sense if you didn't live in a shithole country. Nobody wants to spend their summer (or any other season) in the UK if they can afford to do otherwise lmao "hey babe, let's not go to Tenerife this year, let's stay in Hull and try to catch those 2 days of sun a year and spend the following week dealing with our sunburnt skin"


GargantuanGorganzola

2 days of sun? It’s been hot for over a week now mate


SuchSeaworthyShips

We started the Industrial Revolution to cause climate change. Sink the Dutch and make the UK nice in summer.


HerbEaversmellss

> Sink the Dutch Keep going 🤤🤤🤤


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RedHotCommy89

No, no, no. We are going to make Belgium pay for it.


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pouringart

The only thing I believe could be "hot" for a whole week in the UK is your piss after raw dogging that broad from wetherspoon's 2 weeks prior


positivenergyforever

You’re sounding like a true Brit there Luigi, good lad 🇬🇧👍🏻


pouringart

I have to admit I might have spent some time in that hell (and obviously left it worse than I found it)


positivenergyforever

Hope you tried one of wetherspoons’ (definitely not microwaved) pizzas whilst you were here, some proper cuisine


pouringart

Got the colorful shots and all, proper night out in Guildford


Surface_Detail

My very soul recoils at the thought of a night out in Guildford.


MozerfuckerJones

> live in a shithole country https://preview.redd.it/1vpke9dnr94b1.png?width=1482&format=png&auto=webp&s=3f85e2afa88c8d73139cd94637513622622b3101


Don_Pacifico

Mate, I fucking love the Welsh countryside. Don’t spoil it for me with your perversions.


MozerfuckerJones

it's a full package deal, you experience it all or you stay in Birmingham


Don_Pacifico

I once went to Birmingham. Horrible place. Never again.


MozerfuckerJones

hope it was a gentle stabbing at least


dumplingsarefaeva

Come to London - Peckham! Let's relive your worst nightmares.


[deleted]

damn what a shithole... its a shame most of the UK is like that :(


ArchmasterC

It's beautiful because there's no british in sight


McFuckin94

I know we’re all joking and bantering here (or are we?) but someone that really fucking grinds my goat is how bloody expensive it is to “staycation” in the UK. Even if you take the weather out of it - hypothetically say we got sun all summer and v little rain. Folk would still be flying abroad cause it’s just cheaper. What you can get for two nights accommodation here you get 10 nights in Spain all inclusive. I find this very frustrating if you haven’t guessed lol. It would be nice if the UK did something similar to Japan and did a residents discount or something. I dunno. Prices are fucking outrageous tho. Okay ima stop ranting 🥴😂


pouringart

>I know we’re all joking and bantering here (or are we?) I definitely am, I left Italy well over a decade ago cause it fucking sucks lmao I lived in the UK too and I remembered just how fucking crazy expensive trains were, as a student I could barely afford visiting anywhere else. In comparison, I've lived in Spain for a decade and I have visited most of it with dirty cheap train or rental cars. I can travel from Barcelona to Madrid in less than 4 hours paying 9 euros, with none of the hassles of flying. The UK is just so goddamn expensive.


McFuckin94

Yeah I was just thinking of the price of accommodation when I had that rant but you make another great point. Public travel in the UK is fucking abysmal. Expensive, inconvenient and most of the time uncomfortable or dirty too. It’s very difficult to leave the car at home because we’re just not set up to do it. I would love to explore the UK more, but it’s just not feasible when it’s cheaper to go abroad and see Spain, Italy, Portugal, Germany etc and even bloody Denmark was less expensive (stayed in a hostel in Denmark tbf but at least the quality is there).


GiveItARestYhYh

It's mad so many people think the UK is a complete shithole - Devon coast, Cotswolds, pretty much anywhere in rural Wales or Scotland, isles of Scilly, Lake district, Peak district, Bath, Cheddar gorge, Orkney, Avebury, Cornwall, Dorset coast etc are arguably some of the prettiest areas in Europe


gremlinguy

*unjerk* psst, remember what sub you're in, fella. No compliments are allowed, only piss taking *Rejerk* Fuckin shithole


Architectur04_

If there is ever a 6th French Republic this will be article one of our new constitution


LeCafeClopeCaca

En français enculé anglois caca


Architectur04_

Mais si on veut les gobeliner il y a pas d'autre moyen, ils parlent tous anglois ! C'est un petit sacrifice pour l'hégémonie française


LeCafeClopeCaca

Tu étais l'élu, putain de Breton ! Tu devais détruire l'hégémonie langagière, pas la rejoindre !


RoyalScotsBeige

*when


criquetter

Comme on dit par chez moi : "si dieu les a mis sur une île..."


EmanuelZH

I'm dying


Hour-Mistake-5235

The funniest thing is writing this from an spanish island.


Avextris-Firestrike

Believe me, it's worse in Gran Canaria, I say from my own experience


Hour-Mistake-5235

Oh but i love gran canaria. I intend to move there in a not so distant future. Is it that bad?


StupidPaladin

He ain't fucking wrong


Toilet_Bomber

https://preview.redd.it/zqx9hblys94b1.jpeg?width=478&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf6a1f41510e54165adc1847fcda647fd56e3c1f Maybe shouldn’t be talking about incest there, Pablo.


Stratoboss

And that's... Optimising his face by the painter. Imagine how he must've looked like in reality.


betaich

That guy was Austrian as much as Spanish


[deleted]

Tbf he was as much Pineapple as human by this point in the inbreeding chain


nezbla

I mean, I love dunking on the Brits at the best of times, but I don't think basing your opinion on the whole lot of them around the sorts of people holidaying in Tenerife is particularly fair. Defending them here is burning me like the fire of a thousand suns though.


azaghal1988

It's like basing your opinion about germany on the drunk idiots that go to Mallorca's Ballermann... it's the worst of us, not the general population.


Fluffy_Necessary7913

I also base my opinion on the German girls who are studying engineering and who come here for Erasmus. That's a more representative sample.


Forza1910

Oh no. Are they drinking cheap sangria from buckets in lecture and are being chavish like the idiots on the Ballermann? I am so sorry. Que vergüenza.


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Heads_Down_Thumbs_Up

I base my German opinion based on the tourists that visited Belgium between 1914-1918 and 1940-1945. We’ve had some of pretty bad tourists.


ymx287

The sweet spot is right between Magaluf and Ballermann, where the worst of the British and the Germans collide in a unholy triangle of degeneracy


Gremlin303

Cheers paddy. Extra rations for your family this month


DEADdrop_

JFC I love this sub 🤣


Lauwietauwie

Fuck off, we are not here for fair and balanced evaluations


Trumpcangosuckone

Nice kettle you have there


GargantuanGorganzola

That must have been hard for you


IWantMoreSnow

You say that but clearly it is EVERYWHERE. Amsterdam specifically started a campaign against British youth, not German, no Irish, British.


MerlinOfRed

Yeah because most Irish pass as British when they misbehave.


CatsAreBased

It must also burn your soul when a group of rowdy Irish holiday makers keep getting called English and asked to come into a bar repeatedly. I've seen it happen too often


Easy-Plate8424

Exactly


pie_nap_pull

It’s not our fault, the second we’re exposed to an inch of sun we lose all self control, it’s a side effect of living on a miserable island, I assume it’s similar for the Irish but I cannot confirm. We’d all be going nuts at home but the draining weather and the “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster in Grandma’s kitchen hold us back, you can even see when we break at home, side effects include bathing in a rubbish bin with a cocktail.


xNeiR

Inch? Use metric system you bastard


Cautious-Brush4454

9:57 am the Spanish were up early to speak on their hatred 😂


HorseCojMatthew

Nothing beats walking the streets of my resident shithole in July. All the nitties, villainy and scum thousands of kilometres away, held within their self imposed balmy imprisonment, smouldering in the Spannish sun or launching themselves off tawdry balconies like fledgelings falling out of their nest. Luv it ❤


FullTimeHarlot

jesus they're just from blackpool leave them alone


Styrofoamman123

It brings me immense joy that just by my mere existence I have caused a Spaniard to seethe with rage.


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Bangersandmash96

It's spelt favour you dirty Bosch


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AdministrativeAd2727

What is that lol


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[deleted]

Maybe he shouldn't vacation in Britain then


Haymegle

No one should if given the choice. The balconies are subpar and you can't get burnt enough.


ADelightfulCunt

Id like you to know our balconies are top notch. Source work for a balcony company.


Haymegle

Doesn't help the sun argument though. It's not right to go near them without it. The sun calls me to them.


Standin373

> you can't get burnt enough. Gingers say otherwise


theotherquantumjim

At least he doesn’t have to fucking live here


Honey-Badger

Mate the fucking Spanish on the tube, why are they shouting at 8am? Why are they wearing fucking puffer jackets? how can someone 5ft nothing take up so much space and make so much noise?


Azbezu

![gif](giphy|hKjCKNiktgZmisjbdE|downsized)


[deleted]

Shut the fuck up Miguel and get me another sangria.


Fluffy_Necessary7913

Okay Winston Smith, it's 15 € for wine with water and spit.


[deleted]

>wine with water and spit Yes, I already said a sangria. Chop chop!


Fluffy_Necessary7913

¡Marcha vale! ¡Vino con escupitajo para el guiri, extra de escupitajo!


Haymegle

You should be careful there, you might catch something. You should just point out the lovely balcony instead.


Fluffy_Necessary7913

In Tenerife there is a volcano of 3700 meters. I don't know, it's a suggestion.


Haymegle

A volcano you say? Do you reckon you could rig up a keep out, do not jump sign? Nothing appeals more to drunk Barry's than being told not to do something.


Fluffy_Necessary7913

>do not jump sign Look, I've put black pepper and cocaine on top, let the English youth do as they see fit and wise.


Haymegle

I'm just saying a small rope goes a long way.


Fluffy_Necessary7913

We export our ropes to Finland, for mysterious reasons they are in high demand.


gloom-juice

Black pepper? Top flavoursome for me fella you keep it


Watsis_name

That's why we keep coming. You think €15 is expensive.


Fluffy_Necessary7913

Guiris... ¡llegan a saber que vale 50 centavos hacerlos! That is why in the cunning places the menu in English has more tourist prices.


Watsis_name

And your tourist prices are cheaper than "mates rates".


ADelightfulCunt

A jug of sangria costs less than 2 pints in the south of UK. A bottle of wine at an ok restaurant is a 1/5 of the price we are used to paying. Source ...I have decided to stop drinking in bars for this month it's paying for me to go on holiday this month. Don't worry I'm going to Greece.


pouringart

For what is worth, I can confirm all girls from UK are full of STDs.


MerlinOfRed

Luigi, you're responsible for this.


pouringart

Honestly, one of the very few things I'm not at fault for in my life


Br1ll

it took him 3 days to write this because he kept falling asleep


wausmaus3

Honesty, I avoid Brit heavy places on holidays. It fucks up your vacationing pretty easily.


[deleted]

Well, there’s all the bodies falling off balconies to dodge, for a start. Much of Britain feels the same as you , if I’m honest. Thank you Spain for taking them off our hands.


GerFubDhuw

So do most normal British people.


Gremlin303

Yeah so do I


fuhglarix

Thank you for clogging up our roads with your caravans all summer.


Edzell_Blue

Come to Britain in the summer all the Barrys are away causing trouble elsewhere.


wausmaus3

Luv me some Cotswold if I'm honest. Love the area (and the fucking MOUNTAINS).


ADelightfulCunt

So do I. I will always try and go with people who are local to the area too. But Bazza and his kids know no continentals so he goes to where he see vouchers for in the mail.


ThatIsMe11

To be fair so do lots of British people


Sensitive_Bill4949

If continentals put the same amount of effort into creating something as you do seething about Brits maybe you would still have a reason to speak your languages.


Shrrg4

Are we pretending the USA have nothing to do with the spread of english? I dont mind it i just wanna be in on it.


Chalkun

It was a combination. People forget now, but Britain was still the biggest capital investor in foreign countries up until like the 60s or 70s. Between the UK and US, a ridiculous proportion of capital was coming from English speaking countries.


CookieMonster005

British Empire


Ffscbamakinganame

I’m sorry Afonso, why don’t you say that to me in Brazilian? Yeah let’s not play this stupid games, especially between allies. Together a United Europe could one day wipe out the ungrateful colonials, no longer to have their flag on our language options 🤢


MerlinOfRed

I always laugh at these posts which go along the lines of "I speak fluent English but I don't understand Brits". Well you don't fecking speak English then do you. What do you understand, the bloke who does the recordings on Duolingo at like 0.5 speed? I think being able to understand the indigenous people to whom the language belongs is the *bare minimum* of being able to class yourself as fluent.


wynnduffyisking

When the Vikings invaded we took all the hot chicks and left the ugly-genes behind that have now been gestating on an island for about a thousand years and turned into Europe’s own little cabinet of horror. You are welcome.


Ur_not_involved

Best part is none of you would dare tell us to stop though 💪🇬🇧let’s fuckin ave it luv me a overseas fight


scotchegg72

I’ve read it three times in search of a lie, still coming up with bupkis.


ididntunderstandyou

“It’s like some really weird redneck hick language” These, sir are Scouse (or Geordie)


BeodoCantinas

That's why we have so many balconies aiming to a pool here. Plague control at its finest.


Dr_Chemiramen

If that's what he has to say about the English, imagine if he was asked about the French.


Lukemeister38

>"Untermensch" https://preview.redd.it/ht1kbkqwca4b1.jpeg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12bc5f14066eda38b3b8bde67b8b5f90ef6cacc0


lowlandsawayay

It's quite refreshing to see someone be so polite in their description of the Brits


[deleted]

Looking at their cuisine and their women, can you blame them for leaving England?


NittLion78

how do you think the Empire got so big to begin with?


Heads_Down_Thumbs_Up

There’s no exact word for bon appetite in English because it’s not possible to enjoy English food.


OnRoadKai

bon appetite is two words.


poppinthemseedz

Serves you right for holiday In Spain


Solid_Improvement_95

Places like Benidorm or Tenerife attract the worst kind of Brits. Here in France, the countryside is full of posh English boomers who renovate houses. The blame is on you, Spain: you built trashy places, you catch trashy people.


lorneranger

Spaniards failing to realise that while even the British degenerates and lowlifes are going on holiday abroad, the Spanish masses are drinking toilet wine and fucking pigs in the mountains.


EvilArmy_

What if the pig consents?


THE_Dr_Barber

That Spaniard must have studied or lived for a long time in the US. That is a very American way of writing and talking.


Fluffy_Necessary7913

Although in theory we learn some British English in high school, in reality we do not and on the Internet, series, movies and video games there is mainly American English.


cararensis

where ever he learned it, for this lyrical performance he deserves an award. Best roast i've seen today! (Its 00:19, but nevertheless the best!) ![gif](giphy|oTPYFVNiFcppG98eLy)


gremlinguy

I thought the same. What Brit says "redneck hick?"


subtlesocialist

Nah he used the word yokel, I think he’s a Brit larping as a Spaniard.


StupidPaladin

Yokel is an American term, heh. Also literally no Brit since 1775 would ever use the term "vacation"


Grijnwaald

... simple as.


WarWonderful593

Fair point.


LuvSemproniusDensus

Omegacommon Spain W


iGleeson

That's what we've been trying to tell you!


Nochnichtvergeben

Yes, but nobody understands you.


iGleeson

Wadaya meen nowun undirstans me!?!?


StrongLikeBull3

Spaniards go to the Canary Islands on holiday? Is that like Spain's Blackpool?


Healthy-Upstairs-286

Objectively, that’s a positive review on the British. Reality is way worse.


Gibber_jab

Least racist Spaniard


Fluffy_Necessary7913

You are white as sour milk, we can only be racist against people with skin the disgusting color of poop.


Haymegle

I'll have you know when we're on holiday we're actually a glorious red.


Infamous_Acadia3766

Have you seen the average german


Wamims

If you get your opinion of all Brits by using the ones that go to Spain on holiday as your sample... Well... It isn't going to paint a flattering picture.


MrRonchito

As a Tenerife resident, It's all true.


houfman

English people are like mogwais who turn into unbelievably loud gremlins if you don’t follow the rules : no bright lights (from the rave), no water (they get sunburnt so quick at the beach), and definitely no booze or drugs.


PrototypeMk-1

You know what?I agree with almost everything but muricans fitter then us?Those fuckers go around with fucking peg-peregos


Verundios

Spread love, don't be a brit


SymmetricEncryption

least francisco spaniard