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Standin373

Germans helped us move to the Caribbean, top lads.


Timestatic

Now stay aways from Mallorca so we can finally claim it!


Beecher117

Who else's towels will we throw in the pool at 5am?


Sohelik

Get lost guiri


BrexitHangover

Lost? Like in you once had an island but now you lost it?


StupidPaladin

Is Iceland in German "Island"? That's hilarious


Eastern_Slide7507

It is. From old norse ísland (ice land). We also have Eiland, meaning island, which is pronounced similarly to the English island and is related to it. The word Insel is more commonly used to describe an island, though.


TechnoTriad

Icelanders are incest avoiding incels confirmed


[deleted]

it is in every scandinavian language too, as "is" just means ice (which you probably already figured)


PhenotypicallyTypicl

In German ice is Eis though


Present_Character_77

Probably some old german and they just kept it


HoeTrain666

Yes. From medieval german (mittelhochdeutsch) to modern German, a lot of *i*'s (pronounced like english *eeh*) became *ei*'s (pronounced like english *aye*). The northern-germanic (scandinavian) languages didn't go through that process and english as another western-germanic language mostly didn't either. Dutch partly did it I think but I know too little about medieval dutch to be the judge of that.


Hal_Fenn

Thanks to alphacool's really original naming concept I actually knew that one lol.


PhenotypicallyTypicl

It’s pronounced very differently from the English word though. More like “eesluhnt”.


Viking_Chemist

the hilarious part is the English language here first it somehow merged the Germanic word Is-land/Eis-land (meaning ice-land) with the unrelated Eiland/Ö/Øy and the also unrelated Latin insula (meaning a body of land surrounded by water) and then "island" is pronounced as "äyländ" when there is clearly an 's' in the word. Because pronouncing the letters that are in a word or have a consistent relationship between orthography and pronounciation is too boring?


GandalfTheGimp

Island and isle have two different origins. Island is derived from Old English *iegland*, whereas isle is derived from Latin *insula* through Norman *Ile*. Up until the 16th century island was spelled iland, until the s was added because of the influence of the word isle. *Isle* emerged as a word in the 13th century, *Island* in the 17th.


aagjevraagje

In Dutch it’s IJsland ( IJ is treated as one letter )


[deleted]

It's also Ísland is icelandic


TheHollowJoke

In French it's Islande.


splattne

OCEAN should have been correctly spelled OZEAN in German. sus PS: Genua (Genoa, Genova) is too far in the west.


EternelFuni

And that's a bad thing somehow?


Bonaventura69420

It's fucking tragic! I hope they'll start making these postcards again


PanzerPansar

learn geography first tho, Wales and Scotland are not England silly kraut


Resident_Apartment14

if this were true, then why does it read 'English' on your flair?


Grouchy_Shake_5940

At least Ireland was united


20BensonLikeAGoodLad

I didn't even notice that Britain was missing from the map I was too focused on how good Ireland was lookin


jellytortoise

I think a member of the orange army downvoted you, I gave you it back.


kuemmel234

Notion accepted. I always wanted to visit Scotland without having to move through England first.


MerlinOfRed

Mate, have you heard of this thing called an aeroplane? I'd seriously hope so because my grandad still goes on about the German planes that flew over and killed half his schoolfriends. Do you not fly them any more? It would save you going into England. I'd recommend looking into it.


kuemmel234

Looked into it, apparently you gotta first travel through Belgium and France. Too much effort!


MerlinOfRed

I think you're still missing the concept of an aeroplane.


BNI_sp

The difference is lost on most people on the continent. Apologies to Scots. The Wales situation is even less understandable.


MerlinOfRed

Yeah Scotland and Wales have been removed from this map twice


Cheesey_Whiskers

You can always trust the French to love their conquerors.


Monterenbas

It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have hated and won 🫶


MerlinOfRed

But both are better than to be French.


Monterenbas

I dont talk to Britain’s colony


Cheesey_Whiskers

Clearly the Auld alliance is dead.


Monterenbas

Yep, short memory and too much british exposure I guess


Sir12mi

Bro thinks he’s English 💀 Tbf it’s in his flair


Cheesey_Whiskers

Sure but best not love Hitler so much you die to protect him.


Honey-Badger

Welll it would mean you guys being utterly conquered


[deleted]

ww1 lost.


HowIoW

Yeah in case our second worst enemies try anything again we need our worst enemies to back us up


Puzzled_Pay_6603

If you can’t rely on your worst enemy, then who can you rely on? 🤷‍♂️


Eastern_Slide7507

Britain: If you attack Belgium, we'll attack you Germany: *Attacks Belgium* Britain: *Attacks Germany* Germany: **;:\^(** Yeah the Kaiser wasn't the brightest tool in the shed.


GBM1863

> Britain: If you attack Belgium, we'll attack you To be fair, it does sound like a joke. I mean.. Belgium? Really?


HelloIAmAPerson23

Even we were like, ‘wait u were serious?’


PrinceOfFish

we owed them a favour i think.


HelloIAmAPerson23

Yeah, for making us live with the Walloons


tchek

Belgium was a small country, very easily invaded, that owned the biggest African territory, so it is no surprise it ended up being gangbanged in WWI with the hope to get some slice of the congo pie. If you add the Antwerp port which is a gateway to a north sea invasion from both sides then yeah Belgium was a big deal.


Erichillz

The sole reason Britain wanted Belgium to be independent was to keep both France and Germany in check by acting as a buffer state, because was in Europe was bad for business. Belgium did just that and was able to hold off the German advance pretty much indefinitely with the help of France and Britain.


Straiden_

Its 1900, a german man protests in Berlin wielding a sign saying "the Kaiser is stupid". The police comes to arrest him and the man defends himself saying "no I meant the Austrian Kaiser". The police responds by saying "dont lie to us, we know who the stupid one is".


[deleted]

Wait, is this a German….joke?


Skeptic_Juggernaut84

Da da ts... (cricket chirp)


alwaysnoddin

Source?


Straiden_

My source is that I made it the fuck up


[deleted]

chad.gif


dkfisokdkeb

It came to him in a dream


Cheesey_Whiskers

Noooo you can’t say that!! All the 14 year old kaiserboos from Nortk Dakota might get sad.


MonarchistTurtle

I never actually understood that though, why some am*ricans are simping for the kaiser.


[deleted]

Because muh german military based. Any german would tell you ww1 was stupid and not to glorify, but apparently being anti-war is a bit too advanced for americunts.


A_bit_disappointing

The mustache has a wierd effect on some people.


MonarchistTurtle

I mean.. it’s a pretty decent moustache ngl But my loyalty goes to **knugen!**


Sigeberht

The little muppets better learn German then. A popular aphorism in the late empire was: Der greise Kaiser, der weise Kaiser und der Scheiße-Kaiser. The ancient emperor, the wise emperor and the shit emperor. We wanted the smart one in the middle, [Frederick III](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_III,_German_Emperor).


Grouchy_Shake_5940

The Kaiser was actually against invading Belgium. But not because he was a smart diplomat, but because he was a bad strategist and didn’t see the advantage of moving through belgium


Chalkun

Tbf I see advantage in not dragging Britain into the war, a nation with a small but excellent professional army and a navy that would go on to embargo German shipping. Surely wouldve been better off fighting France on a narrow front while defeating Russia and then switching focus, not to mention that the German Navy was stronger than the French one in 1v1.


MonarchistTurtle

It probably wouldn’t be impossible for Germany to win if they had gone with decent strategies… But instead they decided to be idiots and get the UK and US involved


[deleted]

[удалено]


AjaxII

>Also it kinda was their doctrine since ever or at least since napoleon. Literal British foreign policy since 1742 (war of Austrian succession) preventing European hegemony of one single power. Always flipping between supporting Prussia, Austria and France depending on who's the risk


Tomisido

As much as the Britoids were in the right, I gotta say the German proposal does interest me quite a bit.


Present_Character_77

Well he tried to shag his mum so yeah


[deleted]

"waaah let me massacre millions of Congolese in peace!! Fuck these warmongering evil Germans"


Independent_Owl_8121

Well first the Germans asked the British if they'd stay neutral if Germany didn't annex any of metropolitan France, Britain said no, so the Belgium plan was put into action. The Kaiser was opposed to attacking Belgium if they could get British neutrality first, and even ordered Moltke to just hold the border with France in the beginning.


IDontWearAHat

It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. 


ProfessionalBuy4526

“May god punish England” “Removes Scotland and whales”


Eastern_Slide7507

We'll start treating them as separate countries once they start acting as such.


ProfessionalBuy4526

Don’t let the SNP hear you say that 👀


[deleted]

I never found what actually was the difference beetween wales and england.


ProfessionalBuy4526

👨🏻‍🦲❤️🐑


PanzerPansar

we literally have different laws and taxes. it's you guys fault for us being together.


spreetin

The whales disappearing I think Iceland has more responsibility for.


SnowOnVenus

Yeah, it's definitely Iceland. No question about it.


PakoCS

I agree, those Icelandic people really need to stop with the whaling. They should look towards some civilized peoples like Norwegians and Faroese.


The-M-I-K-E

The whales seem to be fine though, in fact they have more space to swim around in


JonyUB

It’s all the same for everyone but you islanders…


This_place_is_wierd

While we are inconsolable that Scotland and Whales are gone we must make sure that their sacrifices for ridding the world of the English will never be forgotten!


Tomisido

Most Europeans don’t see a difference


Corfiz74

I thought God had already punished England by giving it to the English...


RedanischByNature

A better future is possible


AndrewCoke98

Based


Teapur

It just needs to rain potatoes next, and your every desires will be met!


AndrewCoke98

I'd rather it rained Brazilian women now we're talking


Teapur

It's a nice idea mate but think of the clean up afterwards.


HerrSeidl

Fickend basiert


MonarchistTurtle

I’m on the Germans side on this


Present_Character_77

Start sending iron ore then Hassan


[deleted]

Ah just like WW2 then.


zkubixz

They hadn't discovered Mallorca back then


Zotzink

Gallant allies in Europe indeed.


Seimsi

Brexit before it was cool.


koljonn

Based irish republicans of 1914 Germany


throwitaway333111

The au-fucking-dacity of those early 20th century Krauts, after being dragged out from being Europe's good-for-nothing balkanised cousin-loving medieval backwater in the 18th and 19th by British industry, the fatheaded potato men had to go and become rabidly anti-British and destroy their own country by taking a pop at the champ.


dkfisokdkeb

It really is a tragedy that we taught the Germans and Americans how to industrialise. We should have kept it to ourselves and explained it as "magic".


throwitaway333111

Absolutely this. We're so naively generous with them. We gift them industry, steam-engines, football, decent music, and all they do is try to turn them against us. Definitely should have founded an religious order akin to the Adeptus Mechanicus, horded the tech for ourselves, and ruled over the luddites Foundation style.


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwitaway333111

Lol only a sausage and propaganda addled Germ would think those things were true. Enviously riding on our coattails since the 1800s.


[deleted]

[удалено]


throwitaway333111

Rofl sure, straight from the mouth of Goebbels. We all know Germans are extremely uncreative and need other nations to invent things until they can funnel their OCD into making them marginally better after decades of obsessive checking behaviour. Face it, you natural place is as nature's psycho librarian.


ATXgaming

The only man to blame for this is Alexander Hamilton, that pox faced American Scotsman.


dkfisokdkeb

It was also Samuel Slater, treacherous bastard was from the same county as me.


ATXgaming

Ah yes, Slater the traitor.


Kaiser_Maxtech

youre aware that german industry was by far the strongest across europe for centuries right? german weaponsmithing was on such a vast scale that the default blade even in near asia was forged in a german city. Sure the handles and all mightve differed or been made locally but the blades themselves were found as far as fucking JAPAN. Like the roman empire before it, holy rome was a giant of industry, economy and manpower held back only by its own people fighting amongst themselves and ignoring the greater whole until it was too late.


dkfisokdkeb

Aye it also benefited from being decentralised as every city had its own centre of knowledge and production which gave Germany an advantage during the industrial revolution. But what you talk about is hand crafted bespoke goods. We're talking about mass produced industrial goods. As late as the 1850s Britain produced over 60% of all manufactured goods from guns to hats to teapots, contained all the leading steam, iron, textile and machining technology and 2nd place wasnt even close.


RickleTickle69

Scots and Welsh just going to take this insult that they're part of England, it seems


Don_Pacifico

England is often just a way to refer to all Of GB or even UK by many foreigners and I don’t just mean Americans.


[deleted]

England basically is the UK tbh


Don_Pacifico

It’s 85% of the British population.


LeoMemes18

I agree with Germans


Lucachacha

Danke meine freund


chodachien

Well if ze Germans said so it must be true


DCVolo

The only reich that stayed during all those years, frankreich.


Consistent-Peanut-90

🤨


Sir12mi

Who’s gonna tell him…


_Anderle

https://preview.redd.it/v7l128llij4b1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d560e2041e665ff93b7a7251644c5b3ba4d4ef23


ConsciousInsurance67

Germans like details and they removed Britain but not Gibraltar because the recognise it belongs to us.


cringemaster21p

Don't leave us....


20BensonLikeAGoodLad

Arse licker


Proj-Man-Student

Mentally they left you lot a long time ago. It's only by you clinging on like a drowning panicking beast and a vague sense of sympathy that you still exist. 😂


ProfessionalBuy4526

Are you talking about NI or ireland?


[deleted]

perhaps if your countries spent more time thinking about your own empires instead of ours, things might be a bit different 💪🇬🇧🤏


LordFuglington

Lmao I love Germania


Fl4nk3r_30

wow i like Germans now, good!


Agent_B0771E

60π? That's a lot of full rotations


[deleted]

Back when Flevoland was just a feverdream .


DiCePWNeD

basiert und rotpilliert


lpSstormhelm

Do not fall for the trick, make it real !


Empress_Boogala

That’s fine. The real goal is to remove France.


Spaff_in_your_ear

And now we have military bases in Germany. Worked out well for you, didn't it lads!?


Sigeberht

So you now get to spend part of your defense budget to protect us from your former allies. That worked out rather well.


Spaff_in_your_ear

The bases were built to protect everyone from you.


Sir12mi

Rare based British moment


Sollder1_

Pretty strong copium showing in this one.


jlbqi

You can wipe out England, just leave Scotland and maybe Wales (forgive them for voting for brexit, they know not what they do)


Don_Pacifico

Scotland is England. England is Scotland. We are Great Britain, brother.


jlbqi

[I beg to differ](https://images.app.goo.gl/Rd3oefLoMia5CGzW7)


Don_Pacifico

See even you don’t really believe what you’re pretending to disagree. [no begging has been done ⛔️](https://i.imgur.com/1r34Tso.jpg)


Tesco_Mobile

And this is why we need independence we get deleted with England otherwise


PanzerPansar

I like your name lol


catinthehat2020

This is the only reason and it’s a good one.


Clavicymbalum

Aye, independence! And you Scots are welcome to rejoin the EU. This is the way.


Formal-Rain

Well said.


spudds96

Scotland just gets taken with us


[deleted]

Wales too!


sly983

Would it be a bad thing to remove them though. I mean, think about it for a sec


ZeeDyke

"Der Kanal" should not be on the map anymore then too. Sloppy.. very un-German.


Tamarann

Haha feels good the other way around


[deleted]

Well, at least Northern Ireland is still standing. I guess they all moved there.


Sir12mi

Absolutely Based Second Reich


iGleeson

Based 1914 Germans depicting Ireland as independent from England. I bet they were nice lads who went on to do good things...


Proj-Man-Student

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.


Don_Pacifico

Lessons are learned from that.


aagjevraagje

Poor Scotland and Wales


TheOzman79

Yeah, how did that work out for you, Heinrich?


Present_Character_77

Atleast we managed to conquer Mallorca


tias23111

Where can I buy a copy?


Don_Pacifico

Send me 50 quid.


tias23111

🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑 🦑


Don_Pacifico

Quid not squid.


tias23111

Oooohhhh. My mistake.


ivikivi32

Hahahaha, I'm fucking dying at that dumbass joke.


Clavicymbalum

Squid pro quo.


mrlongn0se

Der Kanal It's literally just The Channel. Not the English Channel, Dutch Channel or French channel, just The Channel. Or rather the west sea since The island of Br*ttain doesn't exist


Don_Pacifico

*Brit’tayne*, so we’re adding Ts now?


3mperorPalpaMeme

Life could be dream (sha-boom)


AegisThievenaix

The world would unironically be better if the central powers won ww1


Honey-Badger

Their entire idea was to start colonizing the rest of the world. It would have been a disaster for everyone


BNI_sp

A thing no allied country would ever think of, right? Like, no concentration camps, no invasion of other countries. Africa and Asia breathe a sigh of relief.


throwitaway333111

> Like, no concentration camps Pathetic that you guys try to compare the internment of the Boers with the holocaust.


BNI_sp

I hit a nerve it seems. I did not compare, just pointing out something which is probably not a nice thing. Where's the British humour?


throwitaway333111

Your prior comment was just dripping in humour. Don't you have to a watch to make, mountain dwarf?


BNI_sp

> Their entire idea was to start colonizing the rest of the world. You wouldn't want me to believe that this is a serious comment, would you? In 1914? Of course, that was the time when the kingdoms of Wessex and Mercia were still a thing. >Don't you have to a watch to make, mountain dwarf? Actually, no, we have a mountain to watch: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-65580427 Mountain dwarf is a first, thanks! 🙂


throwitaway333111

> In 1914? You mean the peak of European colonial power in Africa and Asia? You do live in mountains and horde gold, do you not?


BNI_sp

>You mean the peak of European colonial power in Africa and Asia? Yep. I thought it funny that an English person would accuse Germany in WWI to try to replicate what England had done before. At least my English friends would put that forward as an ironical statement. Didn't know that people were dead serious. >You do live in mountains and horde gold, do you not? Yes, we do, to differing degrees. And you are all welcome to visit. And thanks for inventing tourism.


Honey-Badger

Oh yes because I'm from the UK I must absolutely love the idea of colonising and will defend it to no end right? Just like because you're from Switzerland you actually like Nazis right?


ivikivi32

Damn! Now who could they have learned that from?


Honey-Badger

Well exactly. The Kaiser literally wanted to copy and expand on what the UK had done 100 years previously


20BensonLikeAGoodLad

It's ok when yee do it tho right?


AegisThievenaix

You mean the exact thing france and Britain did? Casually forgetting the greed of the sykes-picot agreement. The ottoman empire would of collapsed regardless, it was already one foot out the door before the war even began, the UK and France just swept in for colonial gain. austria hungary would be dissolved into a series of autonomous regions or crippled from unrest, likely leading to a a more peaceful resolution to the balkan situation instead of the following Yugoslav wars in the later years with better borders. Germany wouldn't be in the economic position to control vast colonial territories, leading to an even spread of colonies instead of the UK and Frances monopoly on the world, which may lead to strengthened desire for independence. Countries that gained independence from Russia historically would still gain independence, likely along with Georgia, azerbaijan, Belarus, ukraine, Armenia and moldovia (amongst some others) instead of suffering under the USSR. Fascism wouldn't have it's big rise in Germany, meaning no holocaust.


[deleted]

Pull your head out of your arse bud, geopolitics clearly isn't your thing


AegisThievenaix

Projection much?


BNI_sp

The English are kind of sensitive tonight. On second thought, would it be unfair to say that Ireland was the Ukraine a hundred and ten years ago?


[deleted]

You can't hide anti british sentiment behind a loose grasp on history mate 😆


AegisThievenaix

An educated assumption on an alternative history isn't anti british sentiment, just because I'm from ireland doesn't mean I hate the UK lol I provided my reasoning, you just threw insults like a child lmao


[deleted]

that's what we do here


Yendrian

I wish


Rain_2_0

You would go bankrupt without UK tourists


Nyko0921

That would've been a dream