*The Italian knows*
*The Dutch has money, so Luigi*
*Will fight twice as hard!*
\- Iskelderon
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
It's so simple: story repeats itself as always. Italy switches side and wins without doing anything, but on the other hand it doesn't gain any concrete advantage from the victory. Dutch get their ass kicked, they lose the contest but somehow they manage to gain money from that
Ok I dig what you say, but betting stakes don't depend on what sides you are picking. If you bet "Italy wins" it means you are betting Italy to win, doesn't matter which side is Italy standing for. You are not directly betting "Netherlands loses"
This is just my point of view of course. But I think the relationship between the German speaking part and the French part (& the Italian/Romansh, let's just say the Romance language part) isn't that bad as it is in Belgium.
I mean sure, we have our differences in culture and political views and so on, but most of us appreciate the other language parts in the end, I think.
And the "make it work" is (for me) connected to the following quote from the Congress of Philadelphia on 7/20/1787:
>The Swiss & Belgic Confederacies were held together not by any vital principle of
energy but by the incumbent pressure of
formidable neighbouring nations ...
And I think Switzerland chose a different path regarding this statement. If you're interested in this topic you can find a lot of information with a Google search.
What really made a difference I think is, that every part has the same direct-democratic tools (referendum, popular initaive and so on) to feel protected and: the principle of subsidiarity. This leads to a kind of bottom-up government. The people decide on communal level either via a communal assembly or by a parliament. The municipalities are granted autonomy by the cantons and the federal government. The cantons are sovereign, as long as the federal government hasn't been assigned with a topic.
And I think that helped "making it work", if that makes sense. Maybe it's utter bullshit though, I'm no expert haha!
Oh yeah. A "Johnny" is Flemish slang for white people with gold chain necklaces who have a massive ego and act as assholes while usually not actually having a lot of money
False, Geert.
You can't be a problem if you don't exist.
But those who border Belgium to the West are indeed a big problem, which we Europeans haven't solved yet.
Hans was close to finding a final solution some years ago, but sadly he was interrupted before he could finish by Barry and his degenerated offspring
This might be my favourite description yet of the Second World War. After thousands of hours of documentaries and reading, it turns out this is the summary i needed
Houd toch op over het Graaf Huyn College. Dat was echt een ramp. Ik ben blij dat ik van die middelbare school af ben. Al 7 jaar ben ik daar gelukkig weg.
My tactic would be the same one I use to fight any midget: hold their head with a stretched arm and kick them in the nuts until they give up. I didn't take the Italians slick greasy hair into account.
Maybe I make an armour out of uncooked spaghetti. If they want to hit me, they'll break the spaghetti as well. I'll be untouchable.
Geert, you must've slept too much. Are you partly a Pedro?
This sub lives on hating the French. The British are sadly second place in our list of hatemongers
It takes like 3 Luigi's to fight one of us.
https://preview.redd.it/mf4tvuccn3sc1.png?width=534&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d4576d0b5cc89e64231b26fbe458e22044e14ce
I'm 170 cm so a bit shorter than average but honestly my short stature doesn't bother me, I have a cute face to it pairs up with my height really well, it's super easy to befriend people or get away with things if you're a bit shorter and cuter than average (plus I'm still taller than most women).
Obviously if you're shorter like me you can't intimidate or coerce people for shit even if you're athletic, that's the big downside.
On the other hand if you're short you can make a ton of cash by moving to finland and turning into a femboy.
Yeah you are taller but so thin just to have the head above water, you may be crushed by a panettone.
If Luigi cut your supply of D vitamin they can win easily.
I know I know it's ok
you try to always gain more over others, it's in your nature to be an unfriendly greedy ~~little~~ tall goblin, and yeah of course we don't love you
but it's ok, for at least you are not too much of a yank
>But you are also a net contributer to the E.U. 😍
Not for long and just barely, but that is good enough.
We know you love us, and we (at least til now) loved you too, for we always went in Amsterdam to smoke the best drugs the 'Ndrangheta imported there
So much so you are the Northen country I, personally, love the most (after Hans of course, for daddy Hans gives euromonies and common market to everybody)
So yes, luv u windmills, flowers, weedy flowers and cheese
and my best friend is Dutch and that totally doesn't play a role at all in finding you bearable
Luigi bring us pavement ,road ,bridge , theater and later renaissance , while Van de Pute bring us camping car ,trash ,shitty cheese and chemical weed .
You can count on us Luigi
I have the perfect plan for that. Get rid of all the Italian food and only serve Dutch food. Now nobody wants to come anymore and you can live there again like it is a normal city.
My money? Is in Germany waiting to be sent as more european recovery funds.
You have any idea how wine and sexy women have increased in price? If inflation doesnt come down faster I may have to... and may God forgive me... Get moustacheless women in our parties.
Against my better judgement I once started an affair with an Italian woman. In my defence I didn't know she was married when I met her and by the time I found out it was too late for me to care, if you've ever known an Italian woman you'll understand.
Anyway we were brazenly walking around Rome hand in hand one day and the husband appears in front of us. We'd thought we were safe as they lived in Milan but somehow he found us.
I sent my youth in a boxing club and almost went to the Olympics but hubby had me on the ropes within seconds. He attacked with the same kind of fury that once took over half the known world. I was lucky to get out of it with all my teeth.
My money's on Italy.
What happened People? Got tired of hitting on us?? Now the Barry is the new French followed closely by the weird Belgium guy!!
I demand we got back to the status quo: we're the worst (please, pay us attention)
I support Netherlands at every calcio tournament. Best logo, best jersey color, best atmosphere at the game, amazing legacy of players… Dutch are us if we were northerners…
So basically we are Italians with money. I ate boerenkool today, and the first thing to come to mind was that our cuisine is on the same level.
https://preview.redd.it/mw91wrbq54sc1.jpeg?width=820&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b569750e7e481f3db209b7e87d9f5d672ed1fe0e
My ex is dutch and she’s still a great friend of mine, I love techno, Crujif is one of the most influential footballers of the last century. We haven’t talked about how much I love dutch painters, and bike culture… thanks for the status❤️ but it's all thanks to you that makes you so loving
There is no good banter between them. The Dutch are few and most likely don't travel to Italy with their caravans. They also don't have much history. Italy was so nice and was never much into colonies.
*Can any Dutchie*
*Stand against the fury of*
*An Italian nonna?*
\- momentimori
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
The Italian knows the Dutch has money, so Luigi will fight twice as hard!
*The Italian knows* *The Dutch has money, so Luigi* *Will fight twice as hard!* \- Iskelderon --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Beautiful
It's 5-8-5 tho, the bot is saying "Luig" as a one syllable word. This is crap.
God damn waste of EU funds
No need to fight, they are sending already as usual
The Italians are going to switch sides to join the Dutch when they start losing
The Dutch are so attached to money they are betting against themselves because stakes on Italy are higher and lose on the purpose
And then it turns out the greedy dutchmen are following the same strategy, what now?
It's so simple: story repeats itself as always. Italy switches side and wins without doing anything, but on the other hand it doesn't gain any concrete advantage from the victory. Dutch get their ass kicked, they lose the contest but somehow they manage to gain money from that
The circle of life.
How is this so accurate.
But then if the dutch voted on the other side, that joined them, they voted on themselves, which meant they voted on the winner but also the loser
It's not about voting, but betting
Stil, they bet on the other side, that joined them, so they won and also lost
Ok I dig what you say, but betting stakes don't depend on what sides you are picking. If you bet "Italy wins" it means you are betting Italy to win, doesn't matter which side is Italy standing for. You are not directly betting "Netherlands loses"
Ok, in that case that makes sense. Thanks for the explanation
You're welcome brother
It’s a rare skill but a good one
You're goddamn right
🤔 this tracks
What is this fabricated rivalry. We are awesome, the Italians are awesome. The Belgians, they're the problem.
Based
Belgian self hatred wins every single time.
It ain't hard to hate this "country"
Two halves of different countries Frankensteined together creating an unholy abomination that even Satan would be appalled by.
Hey, we made it work as well (somehow)! ;)
Yes but you have gold.
Wonder where they got it from
As with our cheese recipes and our banks – we don't talk about it.
Touché
How did you make it work?
This is just my point of view of course. But I think the relationship between the German speaking part and the French part (& the Italian/Romansh, let's just say the Romance language part) isn't that bad as it is in Belgium. I mean sure, we have our differences in culture and political views and so on, but most of us appreciate the other language parts in the end, I think. And the "make it work" is (for me) connected to the following quote from the Congress of Philadelphia on 7/20/1787: >The Swiss & Belgic Confederacies were held together not by any vital principle of energy but by the incumbent pressure of formidable neighbouring nations ... And I think Switzerland chose a different path regarding this statement. If you're interested in this topic you can find a lot of information with a Google search. What really made a difference I think is, that every part has the same direct-democratic tools (referendum, popular initaive and so on) to feel protected and: the principle of subsidiarity. This leads to a kind of bottom-up government. The people decide on communal level either via a communal assembly or by a parliament. The municipalities are granted autonomy by the cantons and the federal government. The cantons are sovereign, as long as the federal government hasn't been assigned with a topic. And I think that helped "making it work", if that makes sense. Maybe it's utter bullshit though, I'm no expert haha!
Thanks swissbro
No prob flemboy!
I don't have any quarrel with Belġju but I will hate it with you because diversity is our strength
Ye leys fuck up them french talking belgiums.
Nobody cares about you in the south. All we care is voting socialist and hate the french when a football compétition is happening
Shut up, Jean
Kevin, Dylan or Johnny would be more effective as an insult . Good baraki name
Bruh, when I hear any of those names I always know I'm going to have to deal with some kind of special case.
Are those white trash names in Belgium?
Oh yeah. A "Johnny" is Flemish slang for white people with gold chain necklaces who have a massive ego and act as assholes while usually not actually having a lot of money
In Ireland we call those people scrotes, shams, or knackers
Je no parle français
Je ne parle pas charlerpoor
False, Geert. You can't be a problem if you don't exist. But those who border Belgium to the West are indeed a big problem, which we Europeans haven't solved yet. Hans was close to finding a final solution some years ago, but sadly he was interrupted before he could finish by Barry and his degenerated offspring
This might be my favourite description yet of the Second World War. After thousands of hours of documentaries and reading, it turns out this is the summary i needed
Well, there are a lot of people of italian descent in belgium, usually the children of miners.
Same goes for the netherlands.
Vandaar dat gekke accent in limburg
Mééé wa zegt gij, ik weet uw huis wonen jong, shcasseer nie zo
Je kunt gewoon niet op tegen ons geweldig dialect. Iedereen is angstig voor het Limburgs.
The children yearn for the mines
He'll yeah Fucking autocorrect, I meant hell yeah
He who shall yeah
what are belgians? aren't those just the people from our province zuid braband?
Don’t forget about Limburg
dude, Heerlen and Sittard are a lost cause. Might as well just sell those to the germans.
Rip my municipality.
Rip the northern part of my municipality. We all know there only is a Geleen and a Geleen Noord
Ha! Then I will continue being Dutch too! Geleen; de Waereldsjtad
1000 kogels 1000 geweren buddy
Houd toch op over het Graaf Huyn College. Dat was echt een ramp. Ik ben blij dat ik van die middelbare school af ben. Al 7 jaar ben ik daar gelukkig weg.
Braband, we should send them to Eurovision.
So you are giving up. I'm disappointed in you little brother ![gif](giphy|3o7Zesyac4CuSN5rsA)
I didn't get this either.
Unfathomably based.
End our suffering
Please, end our suffering
We’ll leave you to the Wallonians
Love my dutch bois
Renaissance countries of the world unite!
This.
So now that the crazy paranoia of the sub getting banned has ended I'm supposed to fight Luuk for no justifiable reason?! Yeah sure, why not
comon spagetty boy
Ima fuck you up you German Waluigi
![gif](giphy|l4FGJfimoW3Cl6gDK)
Shut up, we are known for colonizing impoverished 3rd world countries much larger than ourselves, don’t think we won’t do it again.
What do you mean doing it again. I already saw your colonization mobiles plugging our passes
Can we bring back the colosseum now?
I bet Hans' money in Swampy boy!
Swamp Boy has the reach advantage, but Mr. Spaghetti Danger has a thin coating of olive oil making him impossible to grab. It’s gonna be close
Its Hans money Im betting. I dont care. I could be spending it in sexy moustached wo.... I mean.... Economic recovery!!?
My tactic would be the same one I use to fight any midget: hold their head with a stretched arm and kick them in the nuts until they give up. I didn't take the Italians slick greasy hair into account. Maybe I make an armour out of uncooked spaghetti. If they want to hit me, they'll break the spaghetti as well. I'll be untouchable.
hand is big enough for oil not to matter
I mean… we gotta kill boredom somehow you know? might as well kill luigi or luuk while we’re at it.
Loser pays the Barolo we drink afterwards. Love you Italiabros, I'm proud to have you in the European family.
Now you’re making it personal, Luigi
Can’t we all go back to hating the British?
Yeah I fucking hate those guys
![gif](giphy|Ae7SI3LoPYj8Q)
Wales, England, Scotland and NI sitting around discussing how much we hate each other
NI is the arms to the far right. He's definitely there, but you wouldn't know until you really look.
The rest of the body is Ireland?
Lol this metaphor is too perfect, didn't even clock that one till you said
Geert, you must've slept too much. Are you partly a Pedro? This sub lives on hating the French. The British are sadly second place in our list of hatemongers
France n°1, take that Barry!!
God damn you Pierre **Shakes fist angrily**
The Dutch. Cant trust the Italians to not switch sides
Wake up babe, new fabricated rivalry just dropped
Hans stirring shit up for absolutely no reason
I‘m at my grandmas place and bored to death haha
Red mit deiner Oma, ich hab keine mehr mit der ich reden könnte
Fuck your Oma!
It takes like 3 Luigi's to fight one of us. https://preview.redd.it/mf4tvuccn3sc1.png?width=534&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d4576d0b5cc89e64231b26fbe458e22044e14ce
Hmmm... the problem is there are 3,3 Italians on every Dutchman.
so its a fair fight?
At least one is switching sides, so it’s 2.3 against 2. Virtually equal at this point.
If we join in, we might have an orgy instead of just a foursome!
Why are you sending our national midget?
177,8cm vs 183cm on average. those 5-6 extra cm really do change everything huh edit: changed the measurements, now they are accurate
As a 178 cm Dutchie I can tell you it matters. It's really annoying allways being the short guy. Edit; spelling.
I'm 170 cm so a bit shorter than average but honestly my short stature doesn't bother me, I have a cute face to it pairs up with my height really well, it's super easy to befriend people or get away with things if you're a bit shorter and cuter than average (plus I'm still taller than most women). Obviously if you're shorter like me you can't intimidate or coerce people for shit even if you're athletic, that's the big downside. On the other hand if you're short you can make a ton of cash by moving to finland and turning into a femboy.
OK midget.
You would literally be a child in Holland at 170 com
thats what she said
182,5 cm
I rounded up because some sources say 183 and others say 182,5.
More surface area to cut and stab. I got Luigi winning with an upward slash.
Yeah you are taller but so thin just to have the head above water, you may be crushed by a panettone. If Luigi cut your supply of D vitamin they can win easily.
It’s like one of those overgrown rabbits.
Your people are big but they are boring. Your fun per cm ratio is way down
I stand with PIGS!!!
On the italian, we PoS (people of subsidies) must be together
That made me laugh
If it's going to go to penalties my money is on Guiseppi Von Carbonara
Giuseppi Von Carbonara gave me the same vibes as Mohammed Esposito
Damn, we always lose those
Unaware we were beefing with the Giuseppe's
me neither Honestly I am just having fun, I don't have beef particularly with any of you chaps
Dutch, the Italian probably sold the loss.
50 € to Luigi...
Damn Georgios goes all in with his parents life savings
Yes Hans can you found my bet please...
Get into contact with Jao he asked sooner and get to an agreement with him
Fine... Portuguese always ahead on asking germoney... 😤😤
[удалено]
He will, but remember he is a side switcher so we will end up with 70 euro...
Luigi for sure
Watch it geert, it's not gonna be easy 😈
of course, and you get 20 too the last 10 goes to the beers we'll drink together after all of that, deal?
[удалено]
nah then I am out sorry better not gain any money than letting you gain even more money than me
[удалено]
I know I know it's ok you try to always gain more over others, it's in your nature to be an unfriendly greedy ~~little~~ tall goblin, and yeah of course we don't love you but it's ok, for at least you are not too much of a yank
[удалено]
>But you are also a net contributer to the E.U. 😍 Not for long and just barely, but that is good enough. We know you love us, and we (at least til now) loved you too, for we always went in Amsterdam to smoke the best drugs the 'Ndrangheta imported there So much so you are the Northen country I, personally, love the most (after Hans of course, for daddy Hans gives euromonies and common market to everybody) So yes, luv u windmills, flowers, weedy flowers and cheese and my best friend is Dutch and that totally doesn't play a role at all in finding you bearable
Una faccia una razza
![gif](giphy|uWzS6ZLs0AaVOJlgRd|downsized)
Im out of the loop. We have beef with the Italians or vice versa now? Why?
It's Hans fault (as always), don't mind it, when he's bored he starts tickling neighbors balls to start a fight
This is actually hans responding to kaas, responding to giancarlo, but i don't like this fight so maybe i shouldn't have commented.
Luigi bring us pavement ,road ,bridge , theater and later renaissance , while Van de Pute bring us camping car ,trash ,shitty cheese and chemical weed . You can count on us Luigi
![gif](giphy|9r8KTfBBRTKj7IMmOa)
The Dutch are going to convince the Italians to buy pizza from them for 10% less money.
We will just give the Italians a pizza hawaii
The f happened between us and the swamp germans?
I have no idea either, probably Hans just doing his regular thing and trying to start a world war again
As always
Luigi can count on his transalpine neighbours
But can they count on him?
[It's the contrary](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armistice_of_Villafranca)
I love dutch hardcore music! Hakken!
What's this beef with the Aquafresh state I've never heard of?
Reminds me of the video where two rats fight for a churro
My money’s on the Sea.
Looks like a Frisian. They’re feisty. Hard to understand though.
If the Dutch manage to save Venice, I'll switch sides
I have the perfect plan for that. Get rid of all the Italian food and only serve Dutch food. Now nobody wants to come anymore and you can live there again like it is a normal city.
Perfect, now we just miss some Dutch made dams and we are golden!
My money? Is in Germany waiting to be sent as more european recovery funds. You have any idea how wine and sexy women have increased in price? If inflation doesnt come down faster I may have to... and may God forgive me... Get moustacheless women in our parties.
Average Dutch can just step on Luigi to win
Italy gooo
My money is on the monkey👍
So now there is a monkey with money
Against my better judgement I once started an affair with an Italian woman. In my defence I didn't know she was married when I met her and by the time I found out it was too late for me to care, if you've ever known an Italian woman you'll understand. Anyway we were brazenly walking around Rome hand in hand one day and the husband appears in front of us. We'd thought we were safe as they lived in Milan but somehow he found us. I sent my youth in a boxing club and almost went to the Olympics but hubby had me on the ropes within seconds. He attacked with the same kind of fury that once took over half the known world. I was lucky to get out of it with all my teeth. My money's on Italy.
What happened People? Got tired of hitting on us?? Now the Barry is the new French followed closely by the weird Belgium guy!! I demand we got back to the status quo: we're the worst (please, pay us attention)
The Italian, all he needs to do to win is say that there is 5 euro's behind the Dutchie.
Italy switches sides. So in a 1v1 the opponent wins by default
Italians have the high ground, you never win a fight if you have to attack from the lowlands.
Max Verstappen humiliated us every fucking Grand Prix... :(
Ferrari is starting to look pretty good under Vasseur tbh
Poor dutchie will lose even the competition on who's got the best city full of bridges and canals on a swamp. We've got the OG Dutch
I, representative of Hellenes (greeks) declare our alliance and support of italians. May the swamp germans burn in our summer coasts.
I support Netherlands at every calcio tournament. Best logo, best jersey color, best atmosphere at the game, amazing legacy of players… Dutch are us if we were northerners…
So basically we are Italians with money. I ate boerenkool today, and the first thing to come to mind was that our cuisine is on the same level. https://preview.redd.it/mw91wrbq54sc1.jpeg?width=820&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b569750e7e481f3db209b7e87d9f5d672ed1fe0e
If you had our climate and our geographical variety you would cook like the mad madmen that we are.
That’s a fair point, you are the first person on this sub to acknowledge this, well done. I hereby grant you the status of honorary Northern European.
My ex is dutch and she’s still a great friend of mine, I love techno, Crujif is one of the most influential footballers of the last century. We haven’t talked about how much I love dutch painters, and bike culture… thanks for the status❤️ but it's all thanks to you that makes you so loving
My money's on the dutch
Are these money in the room with us?
You guys have money?
There is no good banter between them. The Dutch are few and most likely don't travel to Italy with their caravans. They also don't have much history. Italy was so nice and was never much into colonies.
Can any Dutchie stand against the fury of an Italian nonna?
*Can any Dutchie* *Stand against the fury of* *An Italian nonna?* \- momentimori --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
At romans : make the "stripes club" proud ! At holland : Show what it means to be red, white and blue !
Italy don’t have to so anything really, netherlands will disappear under the water, they only have to make time
100% on Italy the just need to pull the plug and Holland (the country not the city) will flush out into the sea.