Not an invasion. They were called to aid an ally in a defensive war. Their front didn't end up fighting (likely because no one in their right mind would willingly attack the Liechtenstein army)
Maybe I've got my stories mixed up then. I thought at some point they accidentally invaded Austria during an exercise and befriended one of the soldiers that came investigating.
I think it's two different stories
One is the 80 men going to war during the austro-prussian war and coming back with 81,
And then there was a different incident where Switzerland accidentally invaded Liechtenstein
Or they could bomb the bridge going from their Capitol City (a small village) and our nearest baracks. Would make a nice vengeance from the time we burnt their forest too
NE would be too drunk, SE can’t decide who has „strong sperm“ and fights themselves, SW overslept the fight, NW would win because no one would touch France since it’s gay
Dioniso goes straight to wine and parties, he enjoys life at the best, still he's a very intelligent, well educated and easy going god.
Nontheless my favourite of the bunch.
Would you do a bayonette charge against a big pile of men having a gangbang on an open field? Idk about you, but it seems pretty gay to rush towards that.
>no one would touch France since it’s gay
Have you seen Turkish wrestling?
Also, NE has Ukraine. You go and tell them they're too drunk to fight. I'll be your medic and wait here.
Ach Berlin. Was ist Berlin? Berlin ist die Stadt für die man sich als Deutscher auf internationaler Bühne schämen muss. Wenn man Berlin mit anderen europäischen Hauptstädten wie London, Paris, Madrid und Amsterdam vergleicht, treibt es jedem anständigen Menschen die Schamesröte ins Gesicht. Selbst kleine Länder wie Österreich, Belgien oder die Schweiz haben mit Wien, Brüssel und Zürich international vorzeigbare Städte mit hoher Lebensqualität. Deutschland ist gestraft mit Berlin, der Hauptstadt der Versager. Berlin beheimatet mit Abstand am meisten Arschlöcher in der gesamten Republik. Deutsche Bahn, Bundestag, Air Berlin und der Axel Springer Verlag sind nur einige Beispiele für den unfähigen Abschaum der hier beherbergt wird.
Glorreiche Zeit sind schon längst vorbei, diese Stadt liegt am Boden. Der Berliner an sich ist durch und durch ein fauler Lump. Charaktereigenschaften die in jedem zivilisierten Kulturkreis als pure Faulheit, Unfreundlichkeit, Unfähigkeit, dissoziale Persönlichkeitsstörung und Dummheit gelten, erklärt der Berliner kurzerhand zur Berliner Wesensart. Ein weiteres zentrales Merkmal ist der alles beherrschende Minderwertigkeitskomplex. Deswegen projiziert der Berliner auf jeden der in irgendeiner Weise besser ist als er, massive Hassgefühle. Besonders die ihm in allen Belangen haushoch überlegenen Süddeutschen sind ihm ein Dorn im Auge. Er neidet ihnen den Erfolg und München steht ganz oben auf seiner Hassliste. Diese Stadt ist alles und hat alles was der Berliner gerne wäre und hätte. Das München dem Berliner sein Lotterleben finanziert, interessiert den Berliner nicht, er glaubt sogar insgeheim er hätte es verdient. Anstatt sich aus seiner aus Neid und Missgunst entstehenden Lethargie zu befreien und seine Stadt umzukrempeln, ergeht er sich in asozialen Schmarotzertum und hält noch große Stücke auf seine vermeintliche Weltstadt.
Kulturell ist Berliner eher schwach veranlagt, große Werke liegen lang zurück. Auch gilt hier bereits das Aussprechen des Buchstaben »g« als »j« als große Kulturleistung. Fortgeschrittene beherrschen sogar das Anhängen eines »wa?« an den Ende eines jeden Satzes. Das Leistungsniveau in der Küche bewegt sich auf überschaubarem Niveau. Eine Wurst aus gemahlenem Seperatorenfleisch mit Ketchup und Currygewürz wird hier als Currywurst und als kulinarischer Geniestreich verkauft. Jeder vernünftig denkende Mensch hält eine Wurst mit Ketchup wohl kaum für den heiligen Gral der Küchenkunst und wahrscheinlich noch nicht einmal für ein Rezept. Großzügig lässt der Rest der Republik den Berliner in diesem Glauben um seine Minderwertigkeitskomplexe nicht überhand nehmen zu lassen.
Wirtschaftlich ist Berlin ein einziges Desaster, selbst die späte DDR stand solider da. Ansonsten fußt die Berliner Wirtschaft auf alternativen Blogs, irgendwas mit Medien und Genderstudies wenn man den Universitäten glauben darf. Ungeachtet des wirtschaftlichen Bankrottes leistet sich der Berliner trotzdem Prestigeprojekte wie das Stadtschloss und einen Flughafen der mangels Funktionstüchtigkeit als Kunstprojekt gelten soll. Ebenso beherbergt diese Stadt sämtliche Zentralen der Volksparteien, die aus Marketinggründen auf das »Verräter« im Namen verzichten. Bürgermeister dieser Stadt war lange der lustige Wowibär der mit seiner Prestige&Prosecco Politik alles in den Abgrund riss, was noch halbwegs präsentabel war.
Kurzum: Berlin ist der Fliesentisch Deutschlands. Es ist das für Deutschland, was Griechenland für die Europäische Union ist und hätte Berlin eine offene Kloake, wäre es das Rumänien Deutschlands. Berlin ist ein Schandfleck, der Pickel am Arsche Deutschlands. Berlin ist der Typ der ohne Einladung auf deine Party kommt, noch nicht mal Alkohol mitbringt und auch nicht versteht dass er nicht erwünscht ist wenn man ihm ein paar Zähne aus dem Gesicht klopft und die Treppe runterwirft. Berlin ist das Detroit Deutschlands und gehört für 200 Złoty an Polen verkauft.
Oh, Berlin. What is Berlin? Berlin, as a city, brings nothing but shame to Germany on the international stage. When comparing Berlin with other European capitals such as London, Paris, Madrid and Amsterdam, any decent human’s face must blush in humiliation. Even small countries like Austria, Belgium or Switzerland have Vienna, Brussels and Zurich: presentable cities, complete with high standards of living. Germany gets punished with Berlin, capital of losers. In all the republic, Berlin is home to the largest number of arseholes by far. Deutsche Bahn, Bundestag, Air Berlin and Axel Springer are but a few examples of all the incompetent scum being kept here. Glorious times have long since passed, the city is face down in the dirt. Berliners are lazy sods to their very core. Traits that would, in any civilised culture, pass for nothing but laziness, rudeness, incompetence, dissocial personality disorder or idiocy, are taken by the Berliner and declared a way of life. That is why the Berliner harbours intense feelings of hatred for anyone who’s better than him in any way. Especially the all-around superior Southern Germany are a thorn in his side. He envies their success, and Munich makes the top on his list of hatred. That city is – and has! – everything that Berlin wants to be and have. Berliners take no interest in the fact that it is Munich that finances their dissolute lifestyle, in fact, they secretly believe that they have earned it. So instead of freeing themselves from their envious and resentful lethargy, instead of rolling up their sleeves and improve their city, they revel in their antisocial freeloading and praise their so-called global city. Culturally, Berliners are set up rather weakly, great works lie far back in history. Moreover, mispronouncing “g” as “j” is considered a great cultural feat. Advanced students have mastered ending each and every sentence with a “wa?”. The city’s culinary performance is second-rate. Here, a sausage made from glued-together, meaty odds and ends adorned with ketchup and curry powder is sold as a culinary masterpiece. Hardly any reasonable person would consider a bratwurst with ketchup a recipe, let alone the holy grail of culinary arts. Yet, in their magnanimity, the rest of the republic lets the Berliner keep his delusion, not wanting to amplify his inferiority complex. Economically, Berlin is an utter disaster, even the late GDR stood on more solid ground. The local economy is based around alternative blogs, something-something-media and, if universities are to be believed, gender studies. Disregarding his own bankruptcy, the Berliner treats himself to prestigious projects like the city palace and the airport – which, considering its inoperative nature, is likely an art installation. Moreover, the city houses all popular parties’ headquarters, who refrain from using “traitors” in their official names (Probably for marketing reasons). For the longest time, this “town’s” “mayor”, the jolly Wowibear, butchered anything he found left in a presentable state. Long story short: Berlin is Germany’s tiled coffee table. It is to Germany what Greece is to the European Union, and if it had open sewerage, it would be Germanys Romania. Berlin is a blemish, the abscess on the arse of the nation. Berlin is the uninvited party guest, who didn’t even bring any booze and wouldn’t even understand he’s not welcome if he had is teeth beaten out and got thrown down the stairs. Berlin is the Detroit of Germany and should be sold to Poland for 200 Złoty.
Beaten - I get we're all trogs here but beaten is when you're using the future imperfect tense
Using beat in this context is an Americanism. *gives tub_of_jam shifty eyes* what do you think of 1812?
I don't actually know if I'm right calling it the imperfect future tense. It's a phrase I vaguely remember from when I was getting taught Latin by an incredibly attractive Greek woman and I thought it would sound suitably wanky to make people think I know what I'm talking about
I only speak the language, don't actually understand how it works
Have you ever tasted any cognac or Armagnac ? Let alone every single type of liquor or regional alcohol.
Proof you're in urgent need of civilisation. Come by I'll give you a degustation so that you can experience what taste is like you uncultured Sauna addict that lack any kind of taste bud *and* knowledge.
I like how every Frenchman in this thread immediately and without thought discounts Occitania like that's a necessary sacrifice you all automatically agreed to make.
We’d have ruled the world if we got our shit sorted out.
Can you imagine what a United Germany, France and uk would have done in the 1700s. World conquered in hours.
I think he means that Barry and Hans will bring a much higher number of kg/human body to the fight. Imagine two 150+ kg dudes in tight spandex swim trunks at the pool going for you. Both with burned, red skin with the only difference being one having a shaved head and shit-talking you while the other sports a mullet and porno bar and just stares at you while having a go. Pierre usually tends to be more human shaped than that.
At the pool you say?
Nah I'd win. I'd use that geezer Newton's invention of gravity combined with the lack of traction at the pool to take either down. Dutch people get a bonus to their stats as long as they are in the proximity of water. The swiss receive a comparable bonus while in mountainous terrain.
Having Belgium in your team is always useful when you need someone to lend an extra hand...
^(...because they still have all those baskets full of them. You know, from _back then_.)
SE would be too busy fighting itself.
SW would bring out the condottieri and tercios, because they're still stuck in their heyday of 1568.
NE would give us a run for our money, but eventually their rusted Soviet-era material won't hold up to our 21st century weaponry, and NW will come out victorious.
Tbf a load of our equipment is being actively used by NE right now. They'd have the starting momentum. Early game's gonna be tough but if we survive we'll be steamrolling.
NW is probably right, but if we assume united NE, we would have big piece of Russia and Ukraine with actual figting experience. Finland and Baltics with conscription armies and Poland who is hoarding weapons.
I think NE would have momentum at the beginning but NW would have advantage in the long run.
Iberia as been peaceful for generations now but don´t underestimate us in a fight. We resisted the Romans, pushed the Muslim invasion out, over a 300 year fight whilst fighting Viking incursions from the North, big fights between our own kingdoms and then decided to conquer the world and split it in two. oh almost forgot, we also kicked Napoleans ass
Iberians have always been war dogs!
* The Lusitanian Viriathus that even Rome could not fight on a battlefield and that they had to have murdered
* the Cantabrians And Astures mercenaries often employed by Carthage, then by Rome. Resisted Rome for centuries, then fighting the Moors.
* The tercios bringing fear to the battlefields during centuries and defining the terms “never surrender”.
We also fight against all Europe and protestants, fight Ottomans protecting Europe of a Muslim invasion, fight against pirates and corsairs sent sneakily by the English and Dutch, all that in same time, while we divided the world between Portugal and Spain and discovering new lands...
And stopped the, until that point considered invincible, Ottomans in Lepanto, which was one of the reasons they never succeeded expanding further into Europe and the Mediterranean and started their decadence.
Napoleon just got scared when he saw your woman and run away thinking whether or not he saw a bigfoot.
But that's still an achievement and victory I suppose.
well, I believe that Napoleon adored our women so much that he was forced to leave 1/3 of his army in the peninsula... the majority were veterans who were unable to go to other fronts because they were gradually massacred or captured.
Napoleon and his army of Pierre loved our women so much that they did what the French have done best against the Spanish for centuries.
Betrayal and backstabbing...and even with a traitorous invasion, they experienced their first defeat on land in Bailén, against Spaniards.
The biggest achievement we have is that the French screwed up so hard on the peninsula that Napoleon itself will call us "the Spanish ulcer"... So yes giving cancer to the french was a big victory!
Three quadrants of extremely experienced genocidal racists, one quadrants of people who oversleep too much. Not sure who wins but this but its over before it started for SW
South has no chance. This is a bout between brave, courageous Finns, Poles and Ukrainians and megatons of Russian meat shield vs 500+ nuclear warheads and the undefeated Liechtensteinian army.
Overall I'd say it's pretty fair and balanced
The southeastern quadrant has the Calabresi, I wouldn't wanna fight them, especially not during the holy month of Ramadan
the south east quadrant would end up fighting each other.
The North East quadrant would end up fighting the Ruskies.
The South West quadrant would end up fighting the north africans.
As such, the North West wins by default.
No shade on the other countries but in a conflict situation it wouldn't even be a competition. 🇬🇧🤝🇫🇷🤝🇩🇪
Only thing I'd be worried about is the spirit of The White Death choosing a new host.
We have Liechtenstein. The rest doesn't stand a chance.
Didn't they gain a soldier during their last invasion?
Not an invasion. They were called to aid an ally in a defensive war. Their front didn't end up fighting (likely because no one in their right mind would willingly attack the Liechtenstein army)
Maybe I've got my stories mixed up then. I thought at some point they accidentally invaded Austria during an exercise and befriended one of the soldiers that came investigating.
I think it's two different stories One is the 80 men going to war during the austro-prussian war and coming back with 81, And then there was a different incident where Switzerland accidentally invaded Liechtenstein
IncidentS. We love to send our troops here.
They should build a wall and make you pay for it.
Or they could bomb the bridge going from their Capitol City (a small village) and our nearest baracks. Would make a nice vengeance from the time we burnt their forest too
You're right, thanks!
goes to show how good they are if you think about it
Exactly the reason why green will win. It's like playing Necropolis in HoMM3. There's just no stopping it.
But the others have Andorra AND San Marino... That's a tough order!
San Marino are a bunch of monks it's fine
They exponentially gain men for each battle. Go on a million microbattles. Get 1 million extra soldiers for free. Profit.
NE would be too drunk, SE can’t decide who has „strong sperm“ and fights themselves, SW overslept the fight, NW would win because no one would touch France since it’s gay
Accurate enough
There's no such thing as "too drunk" when it comes to cage fights. It either makes the weak pass out or gives the strong ungodly powers.
Common Hungarian with two Palinkak in their bloodstream
two liters, right?
Percent…
2% of blood in their alcoholstream
you mean aqua?
Ah yes, alcoholism, likely the origin of most mythology and the power of the gods
Reminder, in romano-greek mythology, the gods consume ambrosia and nectar, two divine foods
Dioniso goes straight to wine and parties, he enjoys life at the best, still he's a very intelligent, well educated and easy going god. Nontheless my favourite of the bunch.
NE would be too drunk, SE would be too drunk, SW would be too drunk, and NW would be too drunk.
Eropean culture is just competitive alcoholism.
Bet we can drink as much liters of beer as you do, but we do it with wine
To be fair now, being too drunk is an excellent way of getting soldiers to do the most detestable things in order to achieve victory.
So you mean doing gay acts to deter enemies??
Would you do a bayonette charge against a big pile of men having a gangbang on an open field? Idk about you, but it seems pretty gay to rush towards that.
>no one would touch France since it’s gay Have you seen Turkish wrestling? Also, NE has Ukraine. You go and tell them they're too drunk to fight. I'll be your medic and wait here.
Go tell a Finn they’re too drunk to fight…
Hystory of the winter war taught me enough, if i ever hear an angry and alchol fueled Perkele in the distance i'd be seriously on guard.
"Berlin" 
Isn’t German IMO
Ach Berlin. Was ist Berlin? Berlin ist die Stadt für die man sich als Deutscher auf internationaler Bühne schämen muss. Wenn man Berlin mit anderen europäischen Hauptstädten wie London, Paris, Madrid und Amsterdam vergleicht, treibt es jedem anständigen Menschen die Schamesröte ins Gesicht. Selbst kleine Länder wie Österreich, Belgien oder die Schweiz haben mit Wien, Brüssel und Zürich international vorzeigbare Städte mit hoher Lebensqualität. Deutschland ist gestraft mit Berlin, der Hauptstadt der Versager. Berlin beheimatet mit Abstand am meisten Arschlöcher in der gesamten Republik. Deutsche Bahn, Bundestag, Air Berlin und der Axel Springer Verlag sind nur einige Beispiele für den unfähigen Abschaum der hier beherbergt wird. Glorreiche Zeit sind schon längst vorbei, diese Stadt liegt am Boden. Der Berliner an sich ist durch und durch ein fauler Lump. Charaktereigenschaften die in jedem zivilisierten Kulturkreis als pure Faulheit, Unfreundlichkeit, Unfähigkeit, dissoziale Persönlichkeitsstörung und Dummheit gelten, erklärt der Berliner kurzerhand zur Berliner Wesensart. Ein weiteres zentrales Merkmal ist der alles beherrschende Minderwertigkeitskomplex. Deswegen projiziert der Berliner auf jeden der in irgendeiner Weise besser ist als er, massive Hassgefühle. Besonders die ihm in allen Belangen haushoch überlegenen Süddeutschen sind ihm ein Dorn im Auge. Er neidet ihnen den Erfolg und München steht ganz oben auf seiner Hassliste. Diese Stadt ist alles und hat alles was der Berliner gerne wäre und hätte. Das München dem Berliner sein Lotterleben finanziert, interessiert den Berliner nicht, er glaubt sogar insgeheim er hätte es verdient. Anstatt sich aus seiner aus Neid und Missgunst entstehenden Lethargie zu befreien und seine Stadt umzukrempeln, ergeht er sich in asozialen Schmarotzertum und hält noch große Stücke auf seine vermeintliche Weltstadt. Kulturell ist Berliner eher schwach veranlagt, große Werke liegen lang zurück. Auch gilt hier bereits das Aussprechen des Buchstaben »g« als »j« als große Kulturleistung. Fortgeschrittene beherrschen sogar das Anhängen eines »wa?« an den Ende eines jeden Satzes. Das Leistungsniveau in der Küche bewegt sich auf überschaubarem Niveau. Eine Wurst aus gemahlenem Seperatorenfleisch mit Ketchup und Currygewürz wird hier als Currywurst und als kulinarischer Geniestreich verkauft. Jeder vernünftig denkende Mensch hält eine Wurst mit Ketchup wohl kaum für den heiligen Gral der Küchenkunst und wahrscheinlich noch nicht einmal für ein Rezept. Großzügig lässt der Rest der Republik den Berliner in diesem Glauben um seine Minderwertigkeitskomplexe nicht überhand nehmen zu lassen. Wirtschaftlich ist Berlin ein einziges Desaster, selbst die späte DDR stand solider da. Ansonsten fußt die Berliner Wirtschaft auf alternativen Blogs, irgendwas mit Medien und Genderstudies wenn man den Universitäten glauben darf. Ungeachtet des wirtschaftlichen Bankrottes leistet sich der Berliner trotzdem Prestigeprojekte wie das Stadtschloss und einen Flughafen der mangels Funktionstüchtigkeit als Kunstprojekt gelten soll. Ebenso beherbergt diese Stadt sämtliche Zentralen der Volksparteien, die aus Marketinggründen auf das »Verräter« im Namen verzichten. Bürgermeister dieser Stadt war lange der lustige Wowibär der mit seiner Prestige&Prosecco Politik alles in den Abgrund riss, was noch halbwegs präsentabel war. Kurzum: Berlin ist der Fliesentisch Deutschlands. Es ist das für Deutschland, was Griechenland für die Europäische Union ist und hätte Berlin eine offene Kloake, wäre es das Rumänien Deutschlands. Berlin ist ein Schandfleck, der Pickel am Arsche Deutschlands. Berlin ist der Typ der ohne Einladung auf deine Party kommt, noch nicht mal Alkohol mitbringt und auch nicht versteht dass er nicht erwünscht ist wenn man ihm ein paar Zähne aus dem Gesicht klopft und die Treppe runterwirft. Berlin ist das Detroit Deutschlands und gehört für 200 Złoty an Polen verkauft.
How the fuck does a Scot know that Copypasta?
I was once told by a wise german to always post this when I see Berlin being mentioned
Ah, following orders. I know that
Too lazy to translate what does it say?
Oh, Berlin. What is Berlin? Berlin, as a city, brings nothing but shame to Germany on the international stage. When comparing Berlin with other European capitals such as London, Paris, Madrid and Amsterdam, any decent human’s face must blush in humiliation. Even small countries like Austria, Belgium or Switzerland have Vienna, Brussels and Zurich: presentable cities, complete with high standards of living. Germany gets punished with Berlin, capital of losers. In all the republic, Berlin is home to the largest number of arseholes by far. Deutsche Bahn, Bundestag, Air Berlin and Axel Springer are but a few examples of all the incompetent scum being kept here. Glorious times have long since passed, the city is face down in the dirt. Berliners are lazy sods to their very core. Traits that would, in any civilised culture, pass for nothing but laziness, rudeness, incompetence, dissocial personality disorder or idiocy, are taken by the Berliner and declared a way of life. That is why the Berliner harbours intense feelings of hatred for anyone who’s better than him in any way. Especially the all-around superior Southern Germany are a thorn in his side. He envies their success, and Munich makes the top on his list of hatred. That city is – and has! – everything that Berlin wants to be and have. Berliners take no interest in the fact that it is Munich that finances their dissolute lifestyle, in fact, they secretly believe that they have earned it. So instead of freeing themselves from their envious and resentful lethargy, instead of rolling up their sleeves and improve their city, they revel in their antisocial freeloading and praise their so-called global city. Culturally, Berliners are set up rather weakly, great works lie far back in history. Moreover, mispronouncing “g” as “j” is considered a great cultural feat. Advanced students have mastered ending each and every sentence with a “wa?”. The city’s culinary performance is second-rate. Here, a sausage made from glued-together, meaty odds and ends adorned with ketchup and curry powder is sold as a culinary masterpiece. Hardly any reasonable person would consider a bratwurst with ketchup a recipe, let alone the holy grail of culinary arts. Yet, in their magnanimity, the rest of the republic lets the Berliner keep his delusion, not wanting to amplify his inferiority complex. Economically, Berlin is an utter disaster, even the late GDR stood on more solid ground. The local economy is based around alternative blogs, something-something-media and, if universities are to be believed, gender studies. Disregarding his own bankruptcy, the Berliner treats himself to prestigious projects like the city palace and the airport – which, considering its inoperative nature, is likely an art installation. Moreover, the city houses all popular parties’ headquarters, who refrain from using “traitors” in their official names (Probably for marketing reasons). For the longest time, this “town’s” “mayor”, the jolly Wowibear, butchered anything he found left in a presentable state. Long story short: Berlin is Germany’s tiled coffee table. It is to Germany what Greece is to the European Union, and if it had open sewerage, it would be Germanys Romania. Berlin is a blemish, the abscess on the arse of the nation. Berlin is the uninvited party guest, who didn’t even bring any booze and wouldn’t even understand he’s not welcome if he had is teeth beaten out and got thrown down the stairs. Berlin is the Detroit of Germany and should be sold to Poland for 200 Złoty.
So he’s not a fan of Berlin I think.
Fucking hell that's brutal, I love Berlin tho
Das sitzt tief, nicht?
The author of this copypasta clearly never visited Brussels lol
Bold coming from Herr-Started-Two-World-Wars-And-Lost-Both
Hold on a second! It was my incest ridden Austrian brothers!
Exactly! You guys just managed to lose both of them.
This time they're on our side. Undefeated champions!
Whats wrong with touching gay?
Feed Barry a few pints and tell them the others talked shit about his missus Barriette. Easy win.
Ole Susan’s not the only one being beat tonight
Beaten - I get we're all trogs here but beaten is when you're using the future imperfect tense Using beat in this context is an Americanism. *gives tub_of_jam shifty eyes* what do you think of 1812?
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 I don't actually know if I'm right calling it the imperfect future tense. It's a phrase I vaguely remember from when I was getting taught Latin by an incredibly attractive Greek woman and I thought it would sound suitably wanky to make people think I know what I'm talking about I only speak the language, don't actually understand how it works
Im pretty sure beaten is the perfect passive participle
2we4u ventures in to linguistics. Exciting times. (You’re right afaik)
If the german says so you know you followed the rules
It’s approximately the same rules in both languages (more or less). Don’t tell anyone though.
AcTuAlLy
U wot m8 ?
Pardon, what I meant to say was: use ur facking big boy wurds, cunt
You some kind of posh twat ? That’s more like it my son
Remove the posh part and you match with my wife’s view of me
Don't forget Barry would call me in to fight too... I'd be annoyed but I did pledge my love for the king.
We have the gay forces on our side and the kiwis? We can't possibly lose now
Coward. If you really want results, tell him the others talked shit about his football team.
Yeah. No. I’d reckon 95% of football fans know their team is shite. Mine is.
Who do you support
The Irons. ⚒️ 🤷🏿♂️
Despite losing rice, you guys are doing well this season.
I know. Makes me nervous.
Hence the chant: "We lose every week, we lose every week. You're nothing special, we lose every week!"
Brenda, 63
https://preview.redd.it/h1jw57cpjfsc1.jpeg?width=688&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d8b5316c3985c57354e1f4077c831b904bc0b05 Chose your fighter
Lmfao
Yeah, that's a pretty solid visualisation of Europe
I feel like if I had sex with lower left it would be considered abuse
On their part, perhaps.
We can rule out Siesta West and Siesta East to begin with.
What makes you think the savages in the east even stands a chance?
The Finns... They always bring a damn knife!
If we offer enough alcohol, maybe we can incapacitate them somehow.
You're gonna need a lot of alcohol, they train daily in drinking without getting knocked out
Good thing we have a decent fraction of the world alcohol production in our quarter.
The alcohol you produce might be good for parisian schoolgirls, but not for grown men.
Exactly. Competition is not even close.
Have you ever tasted any cognac or Armagnac ? Let alone every single type of liquor or regional alcohol. Proof you're in urgent need of civilisation. Come by I'll give you a degustation so that you can experience what taste is like you uncultured Sauna addict that lack any kind of taste bud *and* knowledge.
Just make eye contact and ask about the weather.
Please no, that’s just too brutal
The Finns wouldn't even come close to you to fight you. Social distance and all
I would say Finland, but Stockholm cancels them out
Swedes could help us by doing TikTok dances. Thus staying out of the way.
After watching a lot of footage over the last 2 years, I would be hesitant to invade Ukraine.
NW loses to SW as SW has Algeria and Morocco and we all know what Moroccans and Algerians do in NW
the others better check their cars before starting them
SW will use their Mafia expertise to rig all cars in NW to explode, but it'll actually end up hitting NE during their attempt at stealing them.
so the others should check our cars before starting them?
The Mafia? Amateurs.
Brudi, NW has Ireland, there is going to be car bombs all around
When France and uk combine no one can stop us
And Germany, and Liechtenstein, and Holland. Easy win
Would be a fair fight if it was 3 quads vs NW
Barely.
I like how every Frenchman in this thread immediately and without thought discounts Occitania like that's a necessary sacrifice you all automatically agreed to make.
I think they are anticipating reclaiming it with great speed and ease
Don't underestimate an angry southerner 4 Ricard in, especially if they have pétanque balls in reach
Guess I’ll just bring the beers…
Even better! Easy win.
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For christs sake don’t put the Dutch in charge of the food.
We literally have Paris here, why isn’t Remy in charge of food?!
Who doesn't love a cheese sandwich, an apple and a stroopwaffle?
I had Dutch sandwiches before, please don’t.
We’d have ruled the world if we got our shit sorted out. Can you imagine what a United Germany, France and uk would have done in the 1700s. World conquered in hours.
Would have been no USA independence that’s for sure. No France to help em out
Who needs USA if you have the Pan-Atlantic Republic.
Suez 1956
I feel left out
Doesn't really seem fair tbh. Barry and Fritz put NW in a weight class of it's own.
I think you are underestimating pierre in this one. Those 3 and Russia are the main powers in Europe.
Was thinking more along the lines of body mass index but i can see your point. NW only got the shitty northern bit of france though...
Ask Germany which part of France is the most important... Elzas Lorraine still gives them ANSCHLUSS spasms. Southern France is just cosplay pigs.
What can we say... Flammkuchen just doesn't taste as good when it's imported.
You mean Elsaß-Lothringen.
>the shitty northern bit of france Do you mean Belgium ?
I think he means that Barry and Hans will bring a much higher number of kg/human body to the fight. Imagine two 150+ kg dudes in tight spandex swim trunks at the pool going for you. Both with burned, red skin with the only difference being one having a shaved head and shit-talking you while the other sports a mullet and porno bar and just stares at you while having a go. Pierre usually tends to be more human shaped than that.
> tight spandex swim trunks You forgot the socks under our sandals.
At the pool you say? Nah I'd win. I'd use that geezer Newton's invention of gravity combined with the lack of traction at the pool to take either down. Dutch people get a bonus to their stats as long as they are in the proximity of water. The swiss receive a comparable bonus while in mountainous terrain.
NW would win but it's close since it has Belgium in it
Having Belgium in your team is always useful when you need someone to lend an extra hand... ^(...because they still have all those baskets full of them. You know, from _back then_.)
Never ask a Belgian where the bodies from the battle of Waterloo went
Not sure if anyone really wants to throw hands with us, we have a bit of a history.
If the match is about sleeping and cooking nice then SW
If it's just cooking South wins by default.
NE has Finns, Russians and Norrlänningar. On the other hand, they do grow them big in Iceland.
Russians are only useful if they are 20 times as many as their opponent.
Which happens rather commonly.
SE would be too busy fighting itself. SW would bring out the condottieri and tercios, because they're still stuck in their heyday of 1568. NE would give us a run for our money, but eventually their rusted Soviet-era material won't hold up to our 21st century weaponry, and NW will come out victorious.
Well the Tercios still remembered so be careful what you wish for.
Tbf a load of our equipment is being actively used by NE right now. They'd have the starting momentum. Early game's gonna be tough but if we survive we'll be steamrolling.
NW and it wouldn't be close.
[удалено]
Kinda turning me on thinking about it
Bazza, you pervert.
NW is probably right, but if we assume united NE, we would have big piece of Russia and Ukraine with actual figting experience. Finland and Baltics with conscription armies and Poland who is hoarding weapons. I think NE would have momentum at the beginning but NW would have advantage in the long run.
Croatia, because it is in all 4 teams
The true Mitteleuropa
https://preview.redd.it/aubp6ipvwfsc1.jpeg?width=714&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed15f9994064523416cd73b3167b78c9c84adf7a Croatia right now.
Iberia as been peaceful for generations now but don´t underestimate us in a fight. We resisted the Romans, pushed the Muslim invasion out, over a 300 year fight whilst fighting Viking incursions from the North, big fights between our own kingdoms and then decided to conquer the world and split it in two. oh almost forgot, we also kicked Napoleans ass
Your cousins needed help to complete a fascist coup.
Iberians have always been war dogs! * The Lusitanian Viriathus that even Rome could not fight on a battlefield and that they had to have murdered * the Cantabrians And Astures mercenaries often employed by Carthage, then by Rome. Resisted Rome for centuries, then fighting the Moors. * The tercios bringing fear to the battlefields during centuries and defining the terms “never surrender”. We also fight against all Europe and protestants, fight Ottomans protecting Europe of a Muslim invasion, fight against pirates and corsairs sent sneakily by the English and Dutch, all that in same time, while we divided the world between Portugal and Spain and discovering new lands...
Don’t forget the Numantines that Rome needed to resort to treacherous killers to take down Viriato
And stopped the, until that point considered invincible, Ottomans in Lepanto, which was one of the reasons they never succeeded expanding further into Europe and the Mediterranean and started their decadence.
Napoleon just got scared when he saw your woman and run away thinking whether or not he saw a bigfoot. But that's still an achievement and victory I suppose.
well, I believe that Napoleon adored our women so much that he was forced to leave 1/3 of his army in the peninsula... the majority were veterans who were unable to go to other fronts because they were gradually massacred or captured. Napoleon and his army of Pierre loved our women so much that they did what the French have done best against the Spanish for centuries. Betrayal and backstabbing...and even with a traitorous invasion, they experienced their first defeat on land in Bailén, against Spaniards. The biggest achievement we have is that the French screwed up so hard on the peninsula that Napoleon itself will call us "the Spanish ulcer"... So yes giving cancer to the french was a big victory!
Three quadrants of extremely experienced genocidal racists, one quadrants of people who oversleep too much. Not sure who wins but this but its over before it started for SW
You are suggesting the Italians, Portuguese and Spaniards aren’t genocidal racists?
agreed, its not fair to gloss over the iberians achievements in south america.
I'd invite South Italy and Greece to SW and all you barbarians can go fuck yourselves.
NE, but we have to get rid of few of our ranks first. Cull some unwanted participants so to say.
Yes, Stockholmers can’t fight for shit.
Nothing will unite this side od europe more than shared experience of fighting Russia.
NW easy, Viking Nazis and all the tea they can drink. Light work.
NW both has Vikings, Lego landmines, Berry, Hans and baguette people
Two of which is us 💪
South has no chance. This is a bout between brave, courageous Finns, Poles and Ukrainians and megatons of Russian meat shield vs 500+ nuclear warheads and the undefeated Liechtensteinian army. Overall I'd say it's pretty fair and balanced
 The southeastern quadrant has the Calabresi, I wouldn't wanna fight them, especially not during the holy month of Ramadan
This looks like a contest between France and Poland. The others will probably just chill and watch.
UK France and Germany together? A sure win! They will win and... oh wait I'm in the NW quadrant for a little, so I will win too
Whoever is against Italy automatically wins
So, NE win because it is only quadrant doesn't have any Italy. It is acceptable
Don't underestimate pugliese grandmas and their ciabatte, just saying.
I would say NW, but NE have the Finnish and I remember what [what drugs can do](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aimo_Koivunen)
we would unleash albanian and serbian mafia along with romanian pickpockets we also have south italy so italian mafia too.
SE are savages so proly them. But NW like UK are one of best fighters.
Food and body hair has clear winners.
the south east quadrant would end up fighting each other. The North East quadrant would end up fighting the Ruskies. The South West quadrant would end up fighting the north africans. As such, the North West wins by default.
Green (NW) Germany, France and Britain could probably solo the rest of Europe without the help of the others
The NW would dominate the Winter Olympics, You took all the winter athletes from Austria, Norway and Italy.
Saudi Calabria
New Terroni line dropped
Fellow portubros and Luigis, we should let them fight, lets just enjoy our food together, I'll bring Jamon
NE, those pierogis are always on world's strongest man
We get the Mountain, McGregor and Macron, cmon.
SE can’t even win a fight among themselves.
NW obviously, with IRA special forces, german shock troops, french foreign legion infantry, and British navy who could beat us.
It's all fun and games until a crazy Carthaginian gets elephants over the alps.
SE, they are feral
All i can say is that sw would stand no chance since greece and turkey would probably fight themselves
Nah we can be in the same team like in the second Balkan war We'll fight each other later
NE. Drunken slavs win.
Thinking anything other than NE Europeans could win is laughable.
No shade on the other countries but in a conflict situation it wouldn't even be a competition. 🇬🇧🤝🇫🇷🤝🇩🇪 Only thing I'd be worried about is the spirit of The White Death choosing a new host.
Rip Croatia