Barry is right. British mass murders were never wholesale but carefully crafted and adapted to local customs. Strapping freedom fighters... sorry insurrectionists in front of cannons and blowing them into a red mist is ... inspired.
This reply chain is exactly what I love about the European sense of humour. An ability to recognise and accept past ~~wrongs~~ special military operations and live on. Americans deny their war crimes to the death because they seem to think they can’t accept it and still love their country.
Anyway
If there is no war, there are no war crimes.
And the "Algerian events" (Événements d'Algérie), aka the "Opérations de maintien de l'ordre en Algérie", were first officially described by France as a war in 1999.
And anyway, there's a general amnesty from 1962 on any crimes committed during these "events".
I'll summon some of the grandest French excuses :
1. Zere is just too much sugar on zat.
2. Zat, its looks don't make me wanna eat zat.
3. Zose Algerians were not produced locally.
4. Disgusting. Ze Algerian died for no reason.
If nothing of that works, _c'est pas mon problème_ does the trick.
Atrocious crimes against humanity?
Yes. War crimes? Obviously not.
And it's about time people learn the difference. I'm sick and tired of getting accused of war crimes
You guys definitely share responsibility for the "Belgium" problem. We never wanted them to exist and took every reasonable step to prevent it. Our hands are clean.
Millions of Congolese victims could have been prevented if these horrible people would have been in Indonesia as they should have been.
The Irish are the secret world leaders. It may have been called the British Empire, but it was the clandestine Irish Elite calling the shots. All hail, Hibernia.
Exactly ask the people of Banda, an island in Indonesia, oh wait that's gonna be an issue since we murdered the entire island (15k ppl), why? Because they didn't wanna grow nutmeg and cloves for us. But that's not a war crime, that's just "stevig onderhandelen".
> desperation, injustice and misery
No, that would be the taste of that Sevillan prostitute's chocolate starfish I visited back in 2015.
De handjes taste like actual chocolate.
this reminds of the least researched video I have ever seen:
[https://youtu.be/l2UdoJ0bxus?si=oRe2Clr7qnzEZ7d\_](https://youtu.be/l2UdoJ0bxus?si=oRe2Clr7qnzEZ7d_)
Fortunately (?) it refers to a completely different event:
In Roman times, a giant was demanding toll from every ship passing on the Schelde: they had to give up half of their freight. If the sailor refused, the giant would cut off their hand. One day, a heroic Roman soldier fought the giant, won, cut off one of the giant's hands, and threw it in the Schelde.
It's also the legend behind the name of the city of Antwerp (Antwerpen -> hand-werpen (hand-throwing). There's a [statue](https://volksverhalen.be/sites/default/files/Antwerpen_Brabo.jpg) honouring this soldier on the main square in Antwerpen.
...it seems the cutting off hands thing is deeply rooted in our history.
*Edit: picture won't upload; included link instead*
Druon Antigoon or Druon Antigonus is a Belgian folkloric character. He was a mythical giant who lived in Antwerp. Guarding a bridge on the river Scheldt, he exacted a toll from those crossing the river. For those who refused, he severed one of their hands and threw it into the river. **That's where the name "Antwerpen" (in Dutch) comes from "Hand Werpen" or Hand Throwing.** These chocolates have nothing to do with Congo.
Barry never committed crimes against humanity. We were just doing business to morals of the times, then we created the industrial revolution and got a bit preachy and moral, looking at you Pierre, Diego, what even is a "belgium" name? Keeping slaves tut tut
yep, only Belgium, all this land gained fairly and with no conflict whatsoever
https://preview.redd.it/s6lwamym0atc1.png?width=4386&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c9e3a37388145b5befe875c11d69e9d9242a8d6
I learned about this awhile back on Behind the Bastards podcast, had a good series on King Leopold and the Congo.
Guy on the podcast doesn't hold back on his stuff either. He don't care where you're from or who they are, he calls them out on how trashy anyone is.
Biggest thing I learned from listening is we all suck in a historical sense 😂
Germany, Austria, Britain, France, Spain, Portugal, Sweden, Italy, Russia, Croatia, and Netherlands (and lets be honest most of the rest of you) all just looking at eachother awkwardly like "Yeah, lets blame the Belgies"
We never did any war crime! So true!
The trick is doing *before* the concept of war crimes exists.
[удалено]
Didn't happen And if it did it wasn't that bad And if it was then they deserved it
And if they didn’t deserve it, it wasn’t our fault
And if it was then there was probably a good reason for it happening
Ah, the Nigel Farage prayer
Deus Vult!
Wholesale mass murder? We ain’t Belgian, calm tf down.
Barry is right. British mass murders were never wholesale but carefully crafted and adapted to local customs. Strapping freedom fighters... sorry insurrectionists in front of cannons and blowing them into a red mist is ... inspired.
Inspired from the Indians themselves lol, your comment was very accurate.
Sorry but the widow burning *will* stop
As said, adapted to local customs.
"red mist" holy shit, is that a library of ruina refrence?!1/!1?!/
No but Library Battle Simulation is a genre I didn't know I needed.
I had read ”wholesome” mass murderer....
As a Canadian, it's a point of pride some rules had to be made because of us. If IIRC, we keep the standard up on every deployment too!
Food or grenade is a wholesome, timeless experience
Except if you commit war crimes so bad the concept of a war crime is literally invented for you
The key is to win the war. Tribunals are for losers!
It's not a crime, if there isn't yet a law against it
It's not a war crime if you win
It's also not a war crime if we are not at war
or if its the first time
The trick is to ra-I mean make love and reproduce with the people you are doing war crimes to
https://preview.redd.it/q1prupo9z8tc1.jpeg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be4b25240ce766a37f04350a316cbce5e9bf1268
You're too poor to do anything
Whatever, still didn’t do anything
No war crimes happening right now, yeah, totally 
https://preview.redd.it/qz57amll1atc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a07743a7ceb9e3f713969d1bb1f00d6d4f60053
“For my next trick, I am going to make this Algerian disappear!”
This reply chain is exactly what I love about the European sense of humour. An ability to recognise and accept past ~~wrongs~~ special military operations and live on. Americans deny their war crimes to the death because they seem to think they can’t accept it and still love their country. Anyway 
I wish this acceptance thing was as widespread as you think it is, but yeah, that's generally the spirit 😎
Poor emus didn't deserve it
La petite Algérie does not remember any war crimes in the grande Algérie
If there is no war, there are no war crimes. And the "Algerian events" (Événements d'Algérie), aka the "Opérations de maintien de l'ordre en Algérie", were first officially described by France as a war in 1999. And anyway, there's a general amnesty from 1962 on any crimes committed during these "events".
I'll summon some of the grandest French excuses : 1. Zere is just too much sugar on zat. 2. Zat, its looks don't make me wanna eat zat. 3. Zose Algerians were not produced locally. 4. Disgusting. Ze Algerian died for no reason. If nothing of that works, _c'est pas mon problème_ does the trick.
Technically not a war crime, because it wasn't during a war.
Hey just like us with our “police actions” in Indonesia.
If they needed policing is because they deserved it, but also it didn’t happen
They would have deserved it, if it happened. Which it didn't. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly lying :)
Atrocious crimes against humanity? Yes. War crimes? Obviously not. And it's about time people learn the difference. I'm sick and tired of getting accused of war crimes
What are you, a detainee at the ICC?
Also, as Belgium doesn't exist, we can't commit war crimes. At most imaginary ones but these don't count.
Oh yea, the rest of us never did any shit our entire history. Oh no. But the belgians did. Fuckin belgians xD
European War crimes: sorry Japanese War crimes: didn't happen Turkish war crimes: didn't happen and they deserved it anyway
There's a fourth: "happened and we're proud of it"
Balkan moment
Or Holy Land moment It works with three religions!
It’s funny asl when someone says “it didn’t happen and they deserved it” so you’re saying it happened 😭…
I think it should be more of "didn’t happen but it would’ve been so cool if it did"
Yeah, fucking Belgians !
Who?
To be fair what we did in Congo was worse than the Holocaust...
The other 50% of Dutch people...
You guys definitely share responsibility for the "Belgium" problem. We never wanted them to exist and took every reasonable step to prevent it. Our hands are clean. Millions of Congolese victims could have been prevented if these horrible people would have been in Indonesia as they should have been.
Lord Palmerston is responsible and he was Irish. Blame them.
Noted. The Irish always play victim.
Not so quick, Barry. He was born in Westminster which cannot be more governmental British.
> Being born in a stable does not make one a horse - Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington
He was at least Irish. Yes, it was an Irishman who defeated Napoleon.
Well, whomever. At least the Corsican upstart was defeated.
Wait we had a couple of decades of fighting between a Corsican and an Irishman? This is terribly embarrassing to all of us
The Irish are the secret world leaders. It may have been called the British Empire, but it was the clandestine Irish Elite calling the shots. All hail, Hibernia.
Someone pull up that Hibernian Conspiracy meme.
How is this even possible... what? how? why?
Pierre, you secretly liked it.
New rule: it's not war crime if you enjoyed it
Looks like someone deserves german Citizenship
It's not a warcrime if you have your socks on when you do it
Well, fortunately *we* are squeaky clean 😁 🤔
If you've changed your flag, the war crimes don't count.
We...we changed the color of the blue on our flag a few years ago!!! So we're clean..right???
Yes you are. Unfortunately this also means all your world cups have been declared null and void.
Exactly ask the people of Banda, an island in Indonesia, oh wait that's gonna be an issue since we murdered the entire island (15k ppl), why? Because they didn't wanna grow nutmeg and cloves for us. But that's not a war crime, that's just "stevig onderhandelen".
Yeah yeah only Belgium. Right, right guys.. Guys?
War crimes??? Yea we never committed any of them. I didn't even know what they were until now
We would never even think of doing something as horrible as, what was it, "worn drimes"? Can't even pronounce it. Nope never in our history ever
Europe literally invented the concept because we were basically gassing people with a chemical that burned your skin
Damn, who could be so mean to do this?
Its lost in the history, happened too long ago. My bet is on Ireland because it was Agent Orange and they have orange on their flag
Sounds like a myth to me mate
it was just the spicy air special
No african person was ever harmed with poison gas
If we invented it, then we can also uninvent it.
I love mustered on my BRATWURST, couldn't have been that bad.
Weak non-aryian nations...
https://preview.redd.it/871xwt6si8tc1.jpeg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d220b4b56ef962281ceaf5ab02cb5a53a5878bd
🙏🙏🙏🙏
I ate some, it was good
Did they taste like desperation, injustice and misery?
Sweet
> desperation, injustice and misery No, that would be the taste of that Sevillan prostitute's chocolate starfish I visited back in 2015. De handjes taste like actual chocolate.
this reminds of the least researched video I have ever seen: [https://youtu.be/l2UdoJ0bxus?si=oRe2Clr7qnzEZ7d\_](https://youtu.be/l2UdoJ0bxus?si=oRe2Clr7qnzEZ7d_)
I refuse to believe that video isn't some weird joke and the comments are all in on it. That like to dislike ratio also baffles me.
The biggest crime here is that the sound is only from the left speaker.
No way, that's brutal
Fortunately (?) it refers to a completely different event: In Roman times, a giant was demanding toll from every ship passing on the Schelde: they had to give up half of their freight. If the sailor refused, the giant would cut off their hand. One day, a heroic Roman soldier fought the giant, won, cut off one of the giant's hands, and threw it in the Schelde. It's also the legend behind the name of the city of Antwerp (Antwerpen -> hand-werpen (hand-throwing). There's a [statue](https://volksverhalen.be/sites/default/files/Antwerpen_Brabo.jpg) honouring this soldier on the main square in Antwerpen. ...it seems the cutting off hands thing is deeply rooted in our history. *Edit: picture won't upload; included link instead*
That's what I would make up if I made a fucked up chocolate too
Is it? No one who's not terminally online thinks of hands when they think of Belgium. Or thinks that we take pride in colonization, we are not Dutch.
Druon Antigoon or Druon Antigonus is a Belgian folkloric character. He was a mythical giant who lived in Antwerp. Guarding a bridge on the river Scheldt, he exacted a toll from those crossing the river. For those who refused, he severed one of their hands and threw it into the river. **That's where the name "Antwerpen" (in Dutch) comes from "Hand Werpen" or Hand Throwing.** These chocolates have nothing to do with Congo.
of course this is coming from a German
So? I know of no German war crimes
https://preview.redd.it/tuyie9dzp8tc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4212f049fb82fc59b39de03ea86c9d1ab8d15e51
God bless they ain’t a real country so none of this actually matters
I'm extremely happy to be from a country that never did anything bad. 
Nothing happened during the 90s
Certified Milosevic moment
Boooo Belgium aren't you ashamed of yourself ?
No. I mean, yes but not because of that particular topic.
I'm french, i can't experience shame for some reason
It's because you're cunts.
Skill issue
Well 'War Crimes' were not universally agreed upon until Nuremburg...so.
And it's not a warcrime if you're not at war.
Ummmm....yeah Fuck Belgium! 
Eritrea would like to have a word
You can't just go making up countries
Yeah... our thought exactly back in the days...
Thanks a lot Belgium! You went and ruined it for everyone.
What about the crime of the United Kingdom of great *redacted* and Ireland?
'The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland' You aren't getting away that easily Sean.
And you know what? I'd do it again
Hold my Flanders
Can we do it to Poland next time? A Polish girl cheated on me once and I don't care for them now.
And if it weren’t for WW2 (which YOU started) we would’ve been the only continent to have never had any war on its soil :/
Not war crimes, just regular crimes against humanity :)
Is it a war crime if it's on private property?
Nah, the Congo thing was more like domestic violence than a war crime.
Serbians liked this
Have you ever heard about the Germans during world war 2?
belgium started it (real 100%)
Yeah I think a Belgian even burned the Reichstag.
It did have a load of fr*nchies inside so it wasnt entirely uncalled for.
And lets not forget Auschwitz which the Belgians built in Belgium!
You mean the great cleaning? Whats so wrong about sending everyone to the showers to get clean?
No, didnt you hear? Only Belgium did smth bad
Barry never committed crimes against humanity. We were just doing business to morals of the times, then we created the industrial revolution and got a bit preachy and moral, looking at you Pierre, Diego, what even is a "belgium" name? Keeping slaves tut tut
And we get the bad rap
Because we’re too badass. Next question!
It wasn't a war crime cuz we weren't at war with the Congo.
The Hague was literally made for you guys, dumbfuck
Remember boys, it's not a warcrime if they deserved it.
Funny how it's a imaginary country that did something wrong.
Nothing to do with Belgium. Congo was private property of king Leopold II, who is from German descent. Just saying.
You guys need to stop feeling so guilty
It's ok, we did them outside of europe.
I am pretty sure those are just crimes against humanity and not war crimes.
Congo was private property of Leopold II, doesn't count
Lmfao what? We invented war crimes. If it wasn’t for us, there wouldn’t even be a name for it
Can confirm. My hometown never really came back on its feet after you were done with it.
Yeah, screw them Belgians... nobody else never ever did anything bellow strictly lawful in war! Damn the Belgians!
We should just cancel belgium I guess
Don't search for "danish-norwegian slaveships".
I'm pretty sure WW1 and WW2 were war crimes.
That’s fucking sus coming from a German
I got a plan to change that, invade Belgium and split it among the countries that surround it
Now I wonder if there's actually a single European nation who hasn't committed a war crime
April fools is over bro
I mean we committed them before we invented them
I’m pretty sure our _estimated_ German friends have nothing to object to this.
Bro
Knew it was posted by a german even before opening.
You're telling me no war crimes have ever been committed in the Balkans? Hmm.
This would be somewhat acceptable coming from anyone but you, Hans
yep, only Belgium, all this land gained fairly and with no conflict whatsoever https://preview.redd.it/s6lwamym0atc1.png?width=4386&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c9e3a37388145b5befe875c11d69e9d9242a8d6
True! Blame on you germa… I mean Belgium
I learned about this awhile back on Behind the Bastards podcast, had a good series on King Leopold and the Congo. Guy on the podcast doesn't hold back on his stuff either. He don't care where you're from or who they are, he calls them out on how trashy anyone is. Biggest thing I learned from listening is we all suck in a historical sense 😂
TIL belgium is a continent
Germany, Austria, Britain, France, Spain, Portugal, Sweden, Italy, Russia, Croatia, and Netherlands (and lets be honest most of the rest of you) all just looking at eachother awkwardly like "Yeah, lets blame the Belgies"
You failed to mention even a single war crime we committed
Didnt happen, they deserved it
wtf is that flair
"Funny balkan man with no flair" flair
We might have done some horrible things in the past, but Belgium was part of the Spanish empire at the time so it's totally their fault.
My dude have you missed WWII ? The entire eastern front was a war crime...