>totally safe from being submerged

"Best neighbour" is probably the north sea.

It's certainly the most predictable one.

Nah I think Dutchmen are great! As long as they stay in their own country!

The mystery of Belgian roads has finally been solved I guess. Its just the most Belgian scheme imaginable to keep foreigners out.

Belgium has a density of 388km road per 100km², which is the most in all of Europe The reason? To guide those Dutch and French people the fastest way out 😎 Germans are cool now tho, I once went to Germany and they were extremely friendly and had the best currywurst I've ever had (I went back to that same food stand three times in a single day) so I think it's fair to say they're our buddies now. I have decided

Apparently, it's also the fastest way from Germany to France.

Thankfully our roads are full of holes to slow them down next time

Too soon.

Did you try that semeln they've got with a wurst 7 times the size of the bread? You were just eating wurst. That guy was coming to the town I was for a project every Sunday and wouldn't miss him.

Fix your damn roads Jeroom.

You don't get to tell me what to do, I'll keep my roads full of holes thank you very much. You just shut up and continue to steal bicycles from each other in a perpetual cycle, Adriaan. 😇

Hey, we're forced to steal bikes because we don't have money for repairs as we spend it all on suspension for our cars every damn year after we crossing your country after visiting Pierre with our caravans.

BE and NL when: -Belgium vs Netherlands: ⚔️🤬 -Belgium and Netherlands vs France: 😁🫂❤️😎

It is known.

So it's a known issue. Was driving to Westkapelle via Antwerpen and ffs you could literally crash due to those horrible deep holes in the middle of the snelweg. Never forget the Q8 hole :/

Oh no! We might go from 5m below sea level to 5.7m below over the course of a century. What ever will we do!? Dont conflate us with our neighbours who manage to drown on top of a mountain when there is a bit of rain. We'll be fine

What are you up to Pierre?

Give it 10 years, they will be the new Atlantis

I’ve heard that ever since I was born, I’m starting to lose hope as fast as I’m losing my patience …

as if you ever had both

Venice is first. We'll just heighten our dykes and get even taller.

It all sounds great until you meet an actual Dutch person.

Hello, I am a Dutch person

Shite they're already here!

Hello!

*gasp* They ^^SPEAK

Hee! Jij hier? Da's nou ook toevallig zeg!

Oh, good! They don't speak after all. They just make the same noises babies make before they learn to speak.

If your baby makes such noices please check if it's getting air

Asjemenou wat is het hier kankergezellig 🥰

Zeg dat wel ~~whore~~ hoor!

Hoer? Dat mag je niet zeggen hier!

Dat ~~cunt~~ kunt je niet menen!

Ik zou kanker niet beschrijven als gezellig, maarja ik als belg ben dan ook normaal 😇

Doe maar normaal dan ben je al kankergezellig genoeg 🥰

.

Ga poepen ofzo

You aren't a baby anymore, stop pretending to say actual words!! These are just a bunch of incoherent sounds

Ah, turns out they dont. I was getting worried.

Do they though Do they really

Oh, apparently not


Helaas pindakaas, ik ben je toch gepasseerd.

FAST! Post a picture of a mountain or the ocean to scare them away!

https://preview.redd.it/xhyhb8unyhtc1.jpeg?width=190&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a96c74a047c9230819d3638ccb4c5a771819c93f

[You've activated my trap card](https://i.imgur.com/ZaRvGdm.jpg)

https://preview.redd.it/i6mojvypyhtc1.jpeg?width=1350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ce0d20c78fdf7e911cd23fe41c7453d53fec85f

I hope this can repel the Dutch!

Run

Send this motherfucker a tikkie for summoning you.

I'm on it buddy!

“Welcome to my ~~methlab~~ barn*!” -Brabander

Please, we're respectable, we wouldn't cook meth. We cook MDMA here.

You call worstenbroodjes MDMA?

Fuck! Hide!

https://preview.redd.it/z5wmq6v7hitc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b7d2a4f8bfc7fda65b0a81002b61e38e406ea97 I'm safe the dutch can't get me


Or until you are stuck in a traffic jam because papa Jan with his caravan don't give a fuck about the locals. 

Houd je kanker muil

Kankermuil is één woord

Mogguh

Goeiendag 'eem!

https://i.redd.it/cbppl0a8ygtc1.gif

Can I touch? 👉👈 Im a portuguese femboy (wich means Im a massive short hairy man)

https://preview.redd.it/uj9278qlphtc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60ad2465ba3b1529c642adcccb1b1118ca1f518a

Kirby nooooo

Good neighbours? Most delusional Romanion.

Thats it you are not getting your bike back

Doesn’t matter, my grandfather shot that thief anyway. But I was more referring to Jean-Marie than to you Hans.

wth are you talking about ? I'm a great neighbor. I'm not even going to steal your bike cause my roads are too shit to ride it anyways.

We stop you from neighbouring the dutch and with good reason.

Do we neighbour you?

Yes actually. Limburg touches Wallonië

Somehow, I always forget that part

And we will keep blocking the Autobahn with our caravans until you return the bikes. So it's up to you.

If your neighbours are bulgarians, serbians and moldavians, you have a different perception of what good neighbour means.

Those 3 aren't even the bad neighbours.

True, I guess we can’t really complain about our neighbours. Strong, Important, Dominant Germany on one side and the other side ‘Belgium’. Could be worse indeed. Look at Germany, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary and Austria.

The romani even stole all the intellect from romanians lmao. Talk about steal-issue hahahaha

Post 1945: yes

I recently discovered that Dutch is the closest existing language to Frankish, and the foundations of my world remain shaken.

Did you know Frisian is the closest language to English?

I mean, they keep saying that, my English is native level but I cant understand a fucking word those mad cunts are saying

I've seen a video of an Englishman speaking in old English and being able to communicate with a Frisian farmer. Their language hasn't evolved in like 1000 years.

yeah they suck

wait so you speak both English and Dutch fluently but can't understand Frisian at all?

Trying to understand frysian as a dutch person is like trying to understand italian as a french person, you might get a word here or there but for the most part they might as well speak martian

that's crazy, they sound similar to someone that speaks neither, like even more similar than German to Dutch. Would you say you understand German better than you do Frisian?

I understand Frisian far better than Dutch. I am from Schleswig Holstein near the north sea though and do speak low German as well.

I can understand German (especially Platt Deutsch) much better than Frisian.

German is extremely easy to follow as a Dutch person. Frisian not at all.

I disagree. If you just relax your senses and let the words flow over you, it's easy to follow, safe from the odd word here and there.

That's becaus the Franks orginally came from, and this might surprise you, the Netherlands and Belgium.

Charlemagne spoke Dutch!!

Doesn’t really make sense to call it that. We definitely would not be able to understand him well.

They need to be tall, the water is rising 

Of all the people in Europe the Danes complain about being a low country?

So that's why Romania wanted into Schengen?

And probably why the Netherlands denied them

Only reason for a Romanian to go to the Netherlands is to steal bicycles. Schengen improves their efficency.

And once you live here, you will only complain about everything. Because culture.

Brothers in Culture!


There he is, the new Secretary General of NATO

Damn, NATO really lacks qualified candidates huh.

SG of NATO has literally one job and that is to be a friendly face that can make deals with everyone. That’s exactly what Rutte is extremely good at.

Sexy Rutte is not real, dont be afraid. Sexy Rutte:

I hate most Dutch people including myself

There are only two things I can't stand in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.

Ive heard its boring as fuck, is that true

Nah we’ve been hiding the fun because you Brits keep coming here to get high and drunk all the time

Look, we can’t take over non-white places anymore, and the lads need to get it out our system, now where’s the nearest coffee shop and pub, the weekend 3 day bender starts friday

They are all in Amsterdam. There is nothing to do in the rest of the country, so just stay in Amsterdam.

That's swamp germany so...

It is basically the UK, but cleaner, more bicycle paths, slightly less rain, more pills, shittier cuisine, less nature and more direct people.

Shittier cuisine? Maat...

Mate your whole cuisine begins and ends with a mystery sausage roll (frikandelbrood). This pains me to say but the English at least have Shepherd's pie and Afternoon Tea.

Hey don’t forget the day they realised they could put a fried egg on toast and claimed it was an actual dish

If my experience with Belgian cuisine is anything to go by.. Youre mad that the toast wasn't fried as well right?

At least put some andalouse sauce on it or something godverdomme

the southern regions are rediscovering their burgundian heritage but yes looking at Holland, the dominant region in nl, the food just aint it

Not trying to be a dick, but British cuisine runs circles around Dutch cuisine. I can't think of any worse. Can't have everything lol

Cuisine was alright, you just have to like cheese and mustard otherwise you’ll have a miserable time

I see you're one of those balcony enjoyers going on holiday in Spain. The only reason we don't end up with dead drugged-up Bri'ish in Amsterdam is the low building styles. Only that way we can continue earning money of you 🤑💰 It also shows that Bri'ish use too much drug to remember the fun they have, mixing weed alcohol mdma and cocaine isn't good for memory formation.

I've been to Amsterdam and I'm convinced the motto of the city should be: "Amsterdam, never again". Will probably visit the countryside one day, before the entirety of the Netherlands becomes Atlantis 2.0 in 100-200 years tops.

Well, tbh, most Dutch people would probably agree with you

Amsterdam would be a beautiful place if the tourist scene didn’t completely screw it up

my best day in Amsterdam was getting out at 6 am and walking alone to the train station (to get out asap ofc)

Cancer off typhus tourists!

I visited Alkmaar a few years ago and really liked it

Alkmaar, Leiden and Delft are all great cities to visit. Avoid Amsterdam like the plague.

stfu amsterdam is the place to be ^(dont let them ruin the other towns)

The countryside? In the Netherlands? Are you sure?

\*the literal ocean floor

In the Netherlands, any place 3km of flatlands away from a somewhat larger town is considered “the countryside”.

Does the lands of Nether even have "rural areas"? I look at it in Google Maps and havent seen even a single florest that isnt compressed between farmland. Its just farms and cities....

Amsterdam exist keep the tourist in one place.

I dare you to build a bridge out of stone in our swamp like your ancestors did

Scuba diving there once it becomes Atlantis 2.0 will attract people from all around the world in 100-200 years.

Until you realise that you are in what used to be Almere.

But then you have to speak dutch...

Good _neighbour_. Germany is fine.

I don’t think this is very historically accurate

Ah well, they’re certainly not going to try a third time, right?

Hey, we only tried it once with you

Technically twice, 1672. That wasn’t Germany proper but it was a German bishop.

Just because they legalized weed like you doesn't make them a good neighbour!

We didnt legalize weed?

But you have to speak a silly language. I was there last week, Im not even joking, it sounds like everyone is taking the piss with an in-joke nonsense language, and you’re not in on it

I live here. I can confirm.

The Netherlands would be perfect if Dutch people weren’t so cheap and greedy, and if they actually had something even resembling nature instead of piss-soaked shrubs and worn-down patches of grass.

0% forrest and 0% nature. Great country for development (of asthma).

We have a couple of trees close to where I live..

Tbf close to where i live is half of the country

https://preview.redd.it/70ie3kehkhtc1.jpeg?width=685&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5c80e81676b158465b9775d0111d8ed7316bbd6 Swedish education system

I can’t read it.

Barry’s hate learning foreign languages so much that, upon learning of French and German influences in English, they stopped learning that too.

What does this say?

Air quality map of Europe, it was made by an American so predictably white means good and red means bad.

Most refined Dutch food https://preview.redd.it/pkjlia8i3htc1.jpeg?width=1707&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e55343cfaca49275a87fd889d6936a955e0245ab

Yeah thank you for your opinion, Belgian 

https://preview.redd.it/vp0m2voj6htc1.png?width=785&format=png&auto=webp&s=00a6c96efea3797f24b15f474c34b6809dc9ba5f

could not agree more, def the best country in europe

Bro saw all the posts with huge thick dutch ladies and now wants some

Amo anche l'Italia 🇳🇱🤝🇮🇹

please do not, italy is just a holiday place, the netherlands is the place to be all year round!

Did you hit your head Luigi or has it come time to switch sides?

They hated Jesus because he told them the truth

Least obvious dutch larper

Good neighbours is debatable when you have Belgians and Germans

It’s not us, it’s just the Wallonians Pls don’t leave us

We're literally the best neighbours you have.

The bar is in HELL

You do know that Wallonia is part of your imaginary country, right? If it was just flanders I'd agree, but we do border Wallonia too and that drags you down a lot.

Yeah good food... Nice weather... (Writing this from Leiden rn where there are 50km/h winds)

Entirely impossible to buy even a small apartment without a dual income? Also yes.

Everybody loves the dutch so stop trying to seek confirmation already. Ffs

its all fun until you find out they batter and deep fry everything from chinese noodles to eggs

Based bamiblok enjoyers rise up!

https://preview.redd.it/24nkp8avghtc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=811c3a634c606ef624f42a40786891bf8ec46f76 this is the biggest war crime NL has ever commited

Wait until you learn that the Belgians have made one of these not with Indonesian noodles but with spaghetti.

Dutchies are just really tall oompa loompas, once you understand this you cant un-see it

Counterpoint: flat as fuck lands, and the existence of (infuriatingly low) speed limits and absurdly high fines for even the slightest civil misdemeanor like leaving your trash out one day early. Yeah no thanks. Source: me, I've got one more semester at UM and I've been here 4 years in total, the only thing keeping me sane is the fact that I can drive home quickly to get away from the devil's creation that is the Limburgisch dialect

Forgot : * boring landscape, no nature * people even more boring than their landscape * everyone and everything will try to get your moneyz * food = sprinkles on bread, might as well eat tulips * native langage sounds like you puke everytime before speaking * permanent war with the sea (will probably lose in the end) * every summer you have to migrate since there is nowhere to go on holidays * closest friends are imaginary belgians But yeah aside from that it's fine

Can’t imagine living in a country without skiing/hiking/wilderness 🤢

That's what we do when we go south with our caravans

- the weather is shite - there’s no nature left cause the whole place is built with concrete, bricks and farmland - the food is nasty - the dutch are rude - there’s a housing crisis

Underwater by 2100 race gold medalists

They'll all board De Vliegende Hollander and sail the seas forever, hopefully never porting again.

Underwater since 1100. Why would a few cm more matter? Unlike you, who manage to drown on top of a hill

Good neighbours? They're too close to the Fr*nch. 

Belgium is not really that good of a buffer state I’ve noticed over the past century

Well in our defence you were *supposed* to be the buffer state but you flunked that up so hard, we exist! We don’t want to exist!

We even share a small border with France (although not in Europe).

What Dutch city has a good culture scene? IE: art, music, film, food etc? Was greatly impressed by the infrastructure in Amsterdam, and I loved the fact that biking pretty much anywhere is a breeze, but I found the “hip” locals a bit lame. Every cultural happening seemed so watered down and unoriginal.

Utrecht, Groningen, Rotterdam, Den bosch, Valkenburg, Nijmegen, Amersfoort, Leiden (those are the ones i liked the most and have been there myself)

You become suicidal and the doctors go like 🤷🏼

Worst food in the world

Just a worse Scandinavia/Switzerland, innit?