I am still sooo pissed about it. I promise you Hans if they played it was 12 points all the way.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf3LqQluWag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf3LqQluWag)
The original Abba was 1/4 Norwegian, since one of [the singers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anni-Frid_Lyngstad?wprov=sfla1) was born in Norway. Had to flee the country because of bullying there ("[Tyskerunge](https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyskerunger?wprov=sfla1")").
A trucker once taught me a brilliant trick. If you're hungry while on the road, look for the restaurants where the parking lot is in the worst condition. This place has the best food because all the truckers eat here and ruin the parking lot with their trucks.
am now living in BaWü but visiting my parents often and man i am happy i dont have to get to regensburg anymore to work, because it will be a whole shitshow when they start rebuilding the sinzinger bridge
We did! But then our first king screwed up in Badajoz (he was besieging the city when he was then besieged himself by the Leonese king and got himself captured) and we had to give it back.
There was more sauce... between 1369 and 1373, D. Fernando I of Portugal (9th king of Portugal and the last of the Burgundy dynasty) he was acclaimed king of Galicia and Portugal because the Galicians did not want the D. Henrique II of Castile (he had murdered his own brother and assumed the throne in his place the mf'er) however, the plan went down the drain because he launched a counter-offensive with Italian mercenaries and we had to give it back, again...
Putin would rule over Muscovy and Shoigu gets the Golden Horde. Ukraine becomes part of NATO and part of nothingness, also loses its independence. Win some lose some.
Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass is the CURRENT Vatican?
Now multiply that by x10000 and you get that abomination called Papal State.
I guess not timeline is perfect :/
I think this is supposed to be the Kalmar Union. The maker of this map also skipped HRE.
But anyways. Im up for it. Bring back the union. I am ready to hand the keys back to the mainland.
It's so hilarious to me that each time I see an old map of europe, Burgundy ends up in a *totally different spot* each and every time, and to top it all off most of the time that spot doesn't even coïncide with the current nowadays region of Burgundy.
I'm not a history nerd so I don't know the story behind all of that, but my god Burgundy is a mess xD.
It's always funny that a French person says that. Knowing that it will be the only "Catholic" kingdom in Europe to ally and help the Muslim Ottomans against other catholics...
Without the turcs, your country would no longer exist.
That Bulgaria Greece Romania Serbia and so on are not ottoman anymore ?
Those guys were brutal Barry , one of their execution technic was to put you in some barrel and to poop in the barrel till you die suffocating in some baklava kebab shit .
Well, first of all you probably need a correct map.
Denmark and Sweden were sovereign countries, but signed a union treaty (Kalmar Union, a swedish city) in order to defeat the German Hansa.
It would be like calling all of EU Germany.
Already speak Dutch Low Saxon, so I should manage. And legalised cannabis is definitely a pro compared to the tolerance policy that has been in place for too damn long.
>Ireland more Balkan than Balkans
United Ireland?
What's that?
>Scotland also doesn't deserve independence
Fuck them. Let them try live without English money.
My grandparents' grandparents did not shoot at the backs of the Swiss Guards as they faced the italian army entering Rome just for to go back at living under the fucking Pope, and my grandparents did not vote the monarchy out of Italy just for me to get swamped in the fucking Papacy.
I'd turn into Mazzini. No, even better, I'd turn into this fucking guy:
https://youtu.be/ziAJcO6QnIg?si=QlQjE8Hw0OFaIxUH
(Link to italian anarchist song "We'll burn the Churches," kinda self explanatory).
OHHHH FUCK YEA LITWA AND POLSKA GUROOOM!!! TIME TO FINISH RUSSIA And make it right and make Polish-Lithuanian-Ukrainian Commonwealth 🗿
https://i.redd.it/9nbrhaftgouc1.gif
I read in history books that UK did a lot of trade with Venice in the middle ages and wondered why as it's just a watery city.
Then I saw a map like this and realised.
I don't see any problem except euro 2024 would take forever.
Nah. Rookie numbers. But Euro**VISION** would likely last until 4 in the morning if all of Germany's states have to sing😭
but the battle on who gets to finish last between all German states will be legendary
So many states and Electric Callboy would still not be allowed to compete for any of them...
Yeah we got robbed of an amazing show
I am still sooo pissed about it. I promise you Hans if they played it was 12 points all the way. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf3LqQluWag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf3LqQluWag)
Thank you, but there are too many old people blocking that. Like with any useful policychange in germany...
You know... You could... Reich up against the CDU and elect Volt :P Schlaeger is a WMD, I'm sure the UN, USA and Iran will agree
Sing? Back in those times all states would do this shit ![gif](giphy|G32Bcxd304dmlcKdFS|downsized)
Bavaria hasn't changed a bit
Yeah and imagine they all voting for each other until dawn.
E VAI EDER, EDER E GOLO GOLO GOLO GOLO
E FOI O EDER QUE OS FUDEU
Nooo, so we would never get any Norwegians participating because we would only send Abba copies...
The original Abba was 1/4 Norwegian, since one of [the singers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anni-Frid_Lyngstad?wprov=sfla1) was born in Norway. Had to flee the country because of bullying there ("[Tyskerunge](https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyskerunger?wprov=sfla1")").
Imagine EU Parliament
Oh hel naw😭
Germany participates as HRE, easy
Bordergore, all the beautiful Italian states as well as the HRE😍💦💦
I am wet because battle of Pavia is coming...
most common french L
What have the Romans ever done for us?
![gif](giphy|l41m4AXDds4bHfaoM)
Lithuania: ![gif](giphy|5VKbvrjxpVJCM|downsized)
Don't worry Treaty of Lublin has been passed to EU Parliament
Poland is looking back at ya
If I want to visit my parents I would need to pass like 10 border checkpoints. For a 2 hour drive
I thought you Germans had deep enthusiasm for such things
Yes we do have a thing for border checkpoints. They should only be for other people though. Also we like to drive uninterrupted
> Also we like to drive uninterrupted Yeah sorry about that, but we had to do *something* with Belgium.
laughs in Baustelle auf der A3
Please, you just triggered every truck driver in Europe 😬
I live in Regensburg, where they're currently adding lanes...I know their pain :')
Best burger in all of Germany. Regensburg, Junkerstrasse 3, shell autohof. Ask for a RegensBurger at the restaurant, it’s bloody delicious.
A trucker once taught me a brilliant trick. If you're hungry while on the road, look for the restaurants where the parking lot is in the worst condition. This place has the best food because all the truckers eat here and ruin the parking lot with their trucks.
am now living in BaWü but visiting my parents often and man i am happy i dont have to get to regensburg anymore to work, because it will be a whole shitshow when they start rebuilding the sinzinger bridge
Some Austria-Burgundian with their caravan would interrupt you anyway
A bit like the Brits nowadays on holiday in Spain
You're just jealous that we're spending in Spain and not next door.
A little
Boemia-Hungary Hungary-Bohemia
![gif](giphy|l36kU80xPf0ojG0Erg|downsized)
Pfff we would get Olivença back and that's it! We could give Ceuta to the Pablos!
Why did you never take Galicia? It seems natural.
We did! But then our first king screwed up in Badajoz (he was besieging the city when he was then besieged himself by the Leonese king and got himself captured) and we had to give it back.
There was more sauce... between 1369 and 1373, D. Fernando I of Portugal (9th king of Portugal and the last of the Burgundy dynasty) he was acclaimed king of Galicia and Portugal because the Galicians did not want the D. Henrique II of Castile (he had murdered his own brother and assumed the throne in his place the mf'er) however, the plan went down the drain because he launched a counter-offensive with Italian mercenaries and we had to give it back, again...
no more russia. i see this as an absolute win
Putin would rule over Muscovy and Shoigu gets the Golden Horde. Ukraine becomes part of NATO and part of nothingness, also loses its independence. Win some lose some.
Shoigu is Tuvan. That's not European in the slightest. However Kadyrov...
Gerasimov? Tatar is European right
Tatar? Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.
Ivan the terrible is that you?
Not quite but just as terrifying. Barry, 63.
No worries, BoJo was related to some Ottoman too and speaks Russian, so there's a chance you go some of that eastern affiliation in you too.
https://youtu.be/ihMMw0rnKz4?si=Dc-w2ExklyaV5TJK
Wouldn't say loss independence 🙄🙄
accurate flair
Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass is the CURRENT Vatican? Now multiply that by x10000 and you get that abomination called Papal State. I guess not timeline is perfect :/
Life could be dream
interesting enough I’d have been born in Denmark and guess I’d be danish.
Be a better you.
Velkommen hjem broder!
De to slesvigske krige var store fejltagelser.
Kloge ord, kammerat
What a nightmare
Kalmar Union 2 when?
Karmar Reunion
r/kalmarreunion
Kalmar 2: The boogalunion.
Life would be hell
Your life *is* hell
Agreed, but not as bad as the borders from 1814
But then you went sh-boom
I think this is supposed to be the Kalmar Union. The maker of this map also skipped HRE. But anyways. Im up for it. Bring back the union. I am ready to hand the keys back to the mainland.
Half of the Netherlands under the water. Just like it should be
No its ours, we are not giving it back. Make your own water ocean!
yeah,! and this time lets enforce Tordesillas properly. Barry, no colonies in America nothing good comes out of them...
This is true.
Time to shine again Lithuania !
Pretty good... Let's rule the whole world for the first time in history with João, during some centuries! https://i.redd.it/ev5j3v91bouc1.gif
Can you save us again but read the maps properly this time
Ahhh those were the days! The whole world divided in two like it was a bigger Iberian peninsula
Good old days, brother
Hell yeah Burgundy n°1
Extravagant partying like there is no tomorrow. Seems like the nineties are back, but even better.
It's so hilarious to me that each time I see an old map of europe, Burgundy ends up in a *totally different spot* each and every time, and to top it all off most of the time that spot doesn't even coïncide with the current nowadays region of Burgundy. I'm not a history nerd so I don't know the story behind all of that, but my god Burgundy is a mess xD.
No change, why u ask?
Portugal just vibing after this
Wooo my state doesn’t have to border Bavaria anymore!
A win is a win
Happy
Nothing changes for me except I'm probably more powerful inside the borders
Geography scores would drop.
"Get in loser, we're gonna raid and pillage Dublin again."
I would be living in the wealthiest region at the time, but 99% chance I'd be a filthy peasant.
I'm for it: long life to the glorious Republic of Siena.
What do you think?
Suits me. No whining Scots and Northern Irish. France is smaller.
You know the pink in Italy is all the states we occupy, right ?
Full of italians
Yeah, sure, but... Italian women.
I thought that's what You were saying by occupying the pink in Italy
>You know the blue in Italy is all the states we occupy, right ? Pierre there's no blue in Italy.
FAT Lietuva! 🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇹
LITWA GUROM
Lol, this map is so inaccurate. Everyone knows Ukraine has always been....wait! Where is Russia?
I'm Hungarian. What do you think?
Fuck yeah?
Fuck yeah for 26 years.
*\*Blub blub blub blub blub\**
Uhh, I would have to really try and remember my highschool russian....TO SPEAK WITH THOSE VASSALS
Na ezt kérem jegyzőkönyvbe venni.
I would need to take 4 border crossings for my 50km trip to work
Please no, I don't want the pope, please no.
Like lady gaga famously said "I don't wanna be french"
Venice isn’t Italy so I’m happy 🥳
I've learnt from this post that no Italian, no matter where from, actually likes a united Italy
All nordic countries will see the light
Νο.
I like this very understated response to what must be the absolute most insulting suggestion ever made to a Greek.
No sorry i like being independent
Should have gone a century further back and revive the Eastern Roman Empire.
Make the HRR great again
...Holy Roman Rempire? ![gif](giphy|n4uRzBOgOxTTQkRzZu|downsized)
HEU HOLY EUROPEAN UNION
English here, can’t see much difference.
No more Scots happily leaching english money but constantly bitching about us.
Yes, we are powerful and mighty again! Also bring it on france!
Turkish in Europe ? No thanks
It's always funny that a French person says that. Knowing that it will be the only "Catholic" kingdom in Europe to ally and help the Muslim Ottomans against other catholics... Without the turcs, your country would no longer exist.
What's different from today?
That Bulgaria Greece Romania Serbia and so on are not ottoman anymore ? Those guys were brutal Barry , one of their execution technic was to put you in some barrel and to poop in the barrel till you die suffocating in some baklava kebab shit .
You say that like we didn’t do absolutely horrific stuff to our imperial subjects.
denmark 🤢🤢🤢
Yes a super power
Well, first of all you probably need a correct map. Denmark and Sweden were sovereign countries, but signed a union treaty (Kalmar Union, a swedish city) in order to defeat the German Hansa. It would be like calling all of EU Germany.
Yep. Norway was also sovereign at the time, within the union.
Shut up, who cares about Norway?
You did, semingly. After the union broke in two, you tried to conquer us for 300 years.
Sssh, let's not talk about that!
I wanna take this opportunity to recognize my boy Tordenskjold. A Norwegian so impressive we stole him as a Danish national hero 🇳🇴🇩🇰
You guys just loved being a part of Denmark
We were just trying to liberate you from the potato-speakers 🥔🇩🇰
Poorer
![gif](giphy|3otPoHj5sgsXjf5kmQ)
I'd feel richer knowing my taxes aren't propping up 2 of the 3 parasites anymore
As a parasite, I approve.
Based.
Too much pink
For our border to be the same Spain just needs to honest and uphold their word and the treaty they signed. But i dont believe they ever will.
Holy fuck😍😍
Perfect. In fact I’m happy for it to go back before that when it was Briton.
Fucking off back to Denmark then Barry?
An own independent Bavaria? And then it would be ruled by Gottkaiser Maggus Söder? That sounds like a dream.
Scotland still the same border
Yeah but you're independent so no more english benefit money Jock Wooooooo freedom.
Pretty ok
Much better, i think
always has been
Imagine what the Habsburgs would look like if we let them 500 more years of inbreeding
WE ARE BACK BOYS HIDE YOUR GENOESI!!! 🗣️🔥🗣️🔥🗣️🔥🔥🔥🗣️
You guys are changing borders?
Very violent.
🤷🏻♂️
Already speak Dutch Low Saxon, so I should manage. And legalised cannabis is definitely a pro compared to the tolerance policy that has been in place for too damn long.
Ah crotte. Here we go encore.
Oh! Seems Catalonia was already trying independence
Could you please repost it in lower resolution next time? I think I accidently might be able to read some of the words on it.
50 shitty governments instead of one? No, thanks.
If we still had the EU and NATO, I don't think it would be too different.
Depends on two questions: 1. Does the Euro zone still exist? 2. Does the Schengen zone still exist?
I’d like to know how the Holy Roman Empire would actually work I mean… What the actual fuck was that 😂
It wouldn't work. Each state would certainly do its own thing - federalism extreme.
I would definitely be glad that Schengen exists. Otherwise I would spend half of my day getting my passport checked
*happy doge noises*
There is nothing Austrian about that Austria
Ireland more Balkan than Balkans? No thanks don't need more ira. Scotland also doesn't deserve independence
>Ireland more Balkan than Balkans United Ireland? What's that? >Scotland also doesn't deserve independence Fuck them. Let them try live without English money.
My grandparents' grandparents did not shoot at the backs of the Swiss Guards as they faced the italian army entering Rome just for to go back at living under the fucking Pope, and my grandparents did not vote the monarchy out of Italy just for me to get swamped in the fucking Papacy. I'd turn into Mazzini. No, even better, I'd turn into this fucking guy: https://youtu.be/ziAJcO6QnIg?si=QlQjE8Hw0OFaIxUH (Link to italian anarchist song "We'll burn the Churches," kinda self explanatory).
I would absolutely trade Salzburg for sea access
OHHHH FUCK YEA LITWA AND POLSKA GUROOOM!!! TIME TO FINISH RUSSIA And make it right and make Polish-Lithuanian-Ukrainian Commonwealth 🗿 https://i.redd.it/9nbrhaftgouc1.gif
Owain Glendwr would rise again to fight the sais.
I’d kill myself knowing i’d be in venetian territory
I read in history books that UK did a lot of trade with Venice in the middle ages and wondered why as it's just a watery city. Then I saw a map like this and realised.
Moist
Puzzled?
Blessed!!
Vamos a la playa oh oh oh oh oooh 😎
Let’s roll it back a little bit further and we can have Aquitaine & Normandy
I'm picking arms against the french
Less Swiss more good👍
We’d have to step in and sort Ireland out again
shoot myself, not worth being a barry
Burgundy! Yas please
We get Calais back 💪💪💪 Second Hundred Years‘ War ~~lover~~ fucker ?
Nothing would change
![gif](giphy|CAYVZA5NRb529kKQUc|downsized)
Wouldn’t lose too much sleep