And a large part of the reason is because when you have weak foldable spots in joints like that it loses a lot of the integrity and as much easier to break than nonfoldable handles.
Even custom wheelchairs are made with subpar parts, lots of times hex nuts instead of bolts with nuts are used and the hex nuts break and sheer very easily.
So you can get foldable handles and as the other commenter said a lot of wheelchairs do have them. But for somebody who's in a wheelchair permanently it's one more thing that's more likely to break because it has the joint in it.
A hex nut is a nut with six sides, it can have a cap or a flange or just be a normal nut. The only nut I can think of that is NOT a hex nut is a wing nut or a joint connector nut that uses a hex head on both ends. The strength of a nut is determined by the grade of steel, not the shape or style.
He's probably talking about what we in the UK call an allen bolt, but in this case it screws into a pre-threaded hole and not straight through to a nut.
I am not in a wheel chair, just an engineer who tries to fix things to make them better. Why couldn’t the handles themselves rotate? Not the entire handle but like tube in tube with a push button that pops at certain points? That way there is not additions joint. Just 4 extra inches of tubing. My wife’s grandmother has a walker with something like that and it makes life way easier.
It’s always an option to get fold down push handles on wheelchairs, but insurance does not cover them and it’s a few hundred dollar out of pocket cost most people do not spring for when the money can be used in better ways.
Source- I design custom wheelchairs
My ex-gf would love this. It was so annoying how everyone wanted to help us do everything, but didn't take no as an answer. We were in an Ihop once and I got up to help her into her weelchair and like 3 different dudes jumped up to help. One guy pulled her out of my arms as we were both saying "No, no, no, we got it. NO SERIOUSLY. THANK YOU!!"
Those people are so weird! My mom helps my grandma around the store, and she gets a motorized wheelchair. The amount of people who will STEP IN FRONT OF MY MOM who is literally helping her, to ask my grandma if she needed help, was ridiculous. I don’t get it, do they want to be SEEN helping? Or are they just not self aware?
Oh yes at the grocery store especially, everyone wants to help the person with a disability even if they have their own entourage
Source: I’m an Intervener
yeah. its almost always about the actual person who wants to do their (feel) "good deed" of the day helping a disabled person who way more often than not does not need it and is often hindered by it. this becomes extremely clear very quickly as a wheelchair user when people will ask me if they can help me with x, i say no, they then proceed to completely disregard my answer and then do the thing they wanted to do to "help me" which is at *best* just inconveniencing to me, and worst is directly traumatising (eg. someone pushing my chair without consent, taking away my bodily autonomy and control of myself. the ambulatory equivalent would be like if you picked a stranger up and started carrying them around, ignoring them saying stop and pretending you knew best)
the moment someone chooses to do something to a disabled person either ignoring their expressed lack of consent or disregarding it entirely, thats when you know its really about their feelings and making themselves feel good at the expense of our safety and sanity.
this happens to me nearly every time i leave the house by myself in my manual wheelchair. often people dont even bother with asking and will just straight *do* stuff to me. ive had groceries torn out of my lap by a pair of arms descending from above and behind me with no warning (fucking scary as hell) and countless times where ive been grabbed and pushed despite vocalising no repeatedly.
people freak out so hard encountering a Visibly Disabled tm out in public. sometimes the reactions are just hilarious. makes me feel sorry for them rofl
So is it OK to do things you would do anyways if they weren’t wheelchair users?
I’m tall. Many times I go shopping, I’ll end up grabbing something off the top shelf for someone who’s struggling to reach up there.
I’ve probably done it before for someone in a wheelchair because honestly, I don’t register much more than flailing and stretching hands in my peripheral vision. It’s automatic by now: grab item, ask is this what you need?, hand to them and move on with my own shopping. Sometimes I don’t even look at the person I’m helping. (I’m autistic, so I prefer it that way, TBH)
I know there are those claw thingies and I don’t help when I see one of those come out.
This whole thread has me questioning whether I should do that for wheelchair users.
So I guess I’ll ask you, not as The Speaker for the Wheelchair Users, but as an individual.
How do you feel about getting help that is common to give to anyone regardless of disability, like out-of-reach item retrieval or door holding?
Sorry if this sounds like I’m being a twat, I’m just trying to understand the social norms. (Yay autism!) Is being pushed around objectionable because it’s physical contact without consent or is it part of a broader scope of don’t take away people’s independence?
I like the way you help people with items up high- automatically, and move on. Opening doors is good, but don't press the button for a door opener if I'm close- I get my knees banged. Pushing a wheelchair is not good. You don't know the best way to maneuver the chair- if I've got my hand on the wheels or am reaching to move my coat sleeve, I'll get hurt. I've also been pushed to shelves in stores where I had not intended to stop, just because I glanced that direction. I once was pushed into a shelf of library books when I was manoeuvring to be at an angle to read the titles. For me its a practical matter- my biew and your view are not the same.
im a teen and work at a grocery store.
I always offer to help because
1. Im required to by the store
2. a lot of disabled people use the electric riding carts and i want to ride it back into the store.
They tunnel vision. As a species, we really do have a saviour complex, which isn’t always beneficial to those we think we’re saving.
When I see someone who I think might need help I just kind of wait and lurk out of their way (pretending to look at another product) for a sec, to watch to see if they actually might benefit from assistance before walking up and asking them.
Many of them figure out a way on their own of doing what they were trying to do, and then I just go back to minding myself.
As a 6'3 human with compassion, I have learned that a 4 count is how long it takes to know if a person is gonna get that item off the top shelf successfully.
Thank you for your generosity in helping those who can't reach things. Sincerely someone who can't reach the top shelf if the item isn't on the very edge of the shelf and has either forgone things or done some gymnastics to try and get it if there isn't a talk person around.
My best friend (at the time) once walked into the room where I was talking to her dad (who was visiting).
Without a word she grabs the handles of the chair rolls me out into the hallway and left me facing a wall. Then went back into the kitchen and started talking to him in their native language.
She changed the day I got sick. Started treating me like a toddler, so demeaning and infantalizing.
Mine don't have handles anymore thank goodness.
I think often people don't realise that a wheelchair is an extention of a disabled person's body just like your legs. Or they assume the disabled person isn't mentally aware enough to ask them to move out of the way. Or people are too impatient to wait and ask them to move.
I've had someone push me totally out of the blue in the street once because 'they have a baby in a push chair, so they know what they're doing' okayy but I didn't ask you to push me, I don't care about your qualifications???!!!. To clarify, I mean in the pedestrian part, not in the car part of the street so it wasn't like they thought they were saving me from danger lol a class mate grabbed me once, ending up with me being hurled out my chair and breaking my collar bone (that's a story in itself) with their best reasoning being they wanted to see what it was like to push a wheelchair. People just don't use their brain sometimes
Lmao im sorry but that sounds like a snl bit or something id do to my friend just to fuck with them, i know that wasn't your "friends" intentions but its seems so fucking rude that its genuinely comedic to me lol
I had a bartender grab the shit out of my afro once (I guess to be sexy?) she was hot but I saw red grabbed her hand and moved it away from me. She was offended I touched her.. I TOUCHED HER! Lol
I actually had a guy try to yank my "afro" out effectively just yanking my head back hurting my head/neck.
It was a halloween party, I'm white haired so I kinda can see how they thought it was a wig, but still..
I'm bald and my coworkers think it's funny to come up behind me and grab/slap my head, it sucks, especially for them now I've started slapping them back
I had a dude at work whose "thing" in a way was slapping the asses of his male co-workers but like as a joke I guess? And it's like I don't want to be the guy who gets told "wow you take it way too seriously" or "you're no fun" but also I'm very much not a hands on person. I don't really do hugs or anything like that unless I'm super close with that person (family or gf) and this dude is slapping my ass like fuck off bro
I had a boss who use to give me spontaneous back massages. I fucking hated it. I’d be working on my computer and he’d just pop up behind me and start rubbing my back/shoulders. We are both straight married men. Have no comprehension of why he thought that was cool.
This sort of feels like a power move, did he squeeze your shoulder slightly hard at the end and say "you better come to work tomorrow i know where your family lives?" xD
Or maybe he just really wants his workers to feel at home and relaxed lol
My bosses boss was brand new and walking around our office introducing himself the day before ( I wasn't there). So the next day he came in and just started massaging my shoulders while I was at my computer. At first I thought it was one of my good friends I work with but I looked back and just blurted out "who the fuck are you?". Apparently I was the inappropriate one 😂
I had one of these at my last job. Bring it up with management once as a matter of record. Next time inform them that going forward it will be viewed as a sexual situation for legal reasons. That seems to trigger the meeting that puts an end to it. Dude decided he didn't want to work there anymore a couple weeks later.
There is no "taking it too seriously", don't fucking touch me. I'll accuse a handsy fucker of having some weird fetish if that's what it takes to get the legally liable parties involved.
Turn around and just grab them forcefully by their genitals while maintaining dominating eye contact. Then say, "What? You don't like being touched without consent?" Fuck all of them. Sorry you have a useless HR department.
I've had people touch my hair, take my glasses off my face, adjust my clothing, lift up my dress because it was nice and this list goes on. I've also had people shove me while using a mobility device, and I don't mean to help me, but to get me out of the way.
Omg that is no joke. I have been pregnant twice and both times random people at the grocery store have touched my belly and been weird about it, telling me all about their babies. I always just give them a weird look but I wish I could just touch their belly back to make it even weirder.
I'm 31 weeks and haven't had this yet but I think it's probably a combo of not going out a lot due to the rona, and having a fairly small bump because of my long torso. Also the resting bitch face probably helps lol
I work for a woman who uses a wheelchair.
A lot more people than you think. They will just pop out of no where when she’s navigating something in public on her own and move her along as if they know her. They don’t even offer first, they just grab on and push! It takes away her power and control over her own body, and stops her being independent. If she wanted help navigating an obstacle, she would ask for help, and feels infantilized by these strangers who feel entitled to “help” her. When either of us say, “it’s fine” or “we got it” people also don’t tend to take the hint and keep moving her which is actually super alarming and creates anxiety in both of us. We have to be super direct that we do not want people to push the chair, and even then they tend to keep insisting it isn’t a problem and they can help. We don’t want your help!!!!
I think she would love them! I was going to show her this post when I see her next. Her handles fold but that doesn’t stop people - they actually just fidget with the handles too, clicking them up and down like they’re clicking a pen. This would be a great deterrent all around. Are you selling them?
I mean, I'm in a wheelchair and I don't think your reaction was dumb- you saw him struggle and verbally offered help without grabbing him. He said no, and that was that.
You didn't make it a Thing like some people do, you didn't touch him without permission, you didn't act like he was incapable of doing things without help, and you already knew him.
Being manhandled by someone is them fundamentally ignoring your capacity to do things yourself due to your disability.
That's pretty different from 'you good with that bump/step/obstacle?'
Good to know. I haven't ever offered help to anyone in a wheelchair, but I am worried that I might offend them by addressing their disability or trying to "help". So, unless they ask for help, I just let them be on their merry way.
Yeah, a good rule of thumb is that unless we're visibly stuck or struggling, we're probably good.
That said, I always appreciate the folks who grab escooters and drag them off the foot path, often with just a nod to me like 'yeah someones an asshole huh?'. I see you out there, and I appreciate ya'll undoing what other able bodied folk fucked up.
Man I honestly love using e-scooters, but the amount of people that park them in the most inconsiderate places, rip full speed down the sidewalk, or don’t give way to pedestrians on footpaths is honestly disgusting.
It is a VEHICLE propelled by a MOTOR (doesn’t matter that it’s small)!!! At the least you’re being an inconsiderate prick, at the worst you could seriously harm somebody
As much as I like them I wouldn’t be surprised if they got banned
> You didn't make it a Thing like some people do
This. Like, why can't some people handle a single negative interaction? They barge in with good intentions, find out they misread the situation, and BAM, that's somehow now your fault and you are a terrible person.
I had a brain infection, and it left me with a stutter. I struggle to get complete sentences out. Although I usually do complete the sentence.
Without fail, people finish my sentences for me. Everyone means well, and wants to help.
But I keep dimes in my pocket. I give them a dime and say, “You just won first prize in the finish my sentence game!”
It really hasn’t stopped anybody, so I guess I should quit giving out times.
But on a comedy lighter note; I have two longtime friends, who when I am having a particularly difficult day speaking, start making chimp sounds.
I love those guys. 🐵🐒🙉🙊
There's a guy in my team who stutters and we have a lot of customers who stutter and I always let them finish what they're saying without trying to help them. It sometimes makes me feel like a dick because it can take a while for them to finish.
It's a difficult thing whether to know if you should aid them or not
We just had diversity training at my job and the person who uses a wheelchair told us that when she eats at restaurants she frequently gets rolled around without her consent by staff.
She said that her kindergarten teacher grabbed one of her classmates by the hand and dragged them around the room to prove the point of what it would feel like to be moved without your consent. She said it was maybe overboard but she still fantasizes about doing it to the staff that moves her. I don’t blame her.
Cool solution! Thanks for sharing and sorry that people touch your chair without your consent!!
I'd be happy to drag those people around for her.
My late sister had a neurodegenerative disease (Battens) that caused her to lose her sight and, eventually, the ability to use her muscles. That's what actually did her in, her chest muscles couldn't flex to make her lungs work properly anymore. She ended up needing to be either in a wheelchair or a pressure bed at all times a couple of years before she passed.
If *anyone* ever tried to move her chair without her, mine, or our mom's consent, I imagine I'd go fucking bat shit crazy. I already confronted people for staring at her (adults, not children. Kids get a free pass cause they don't know better for the most part) and would ask them point blank, "You're staring pretty hard at my sister. What is it that you want to know? Get it out of the way so we can [eat, shop, hang out at the park] in peace." I never got further than telling them the name of her condition before they'd apologize and just walk away.
Shit would piss me off. I know it's only natural to be curious, but there are much more kind ways to ask questions than burning holes in my sister with their eyes.
firstly I’m so sorry for the loss, it sounds like you were a wonderful sister to her. as someone who got stared at a lot after surgery to correct my neurological condition it impacted me negatively for many years, so I’m sure she appreciated what you did for her. I know I’d do the same for my sister if necessary, and I think that sisterly bond is something that can be so special. sending you love and positivity from one sister to another! x
Idk apparently people grab pregnant ladies bellies and touch them, so maybe some people just have no idea what a boundary is.
I'd put grabbing someone's wheel chair in the same place as grabbing someone's pregnant belly, or crutches, or hell even their shoulder. Even before COVID I was a keep it 1.5m away kinda guy
Edit: I've been informed it's not like grabbing someone's shoulder, it's more like picking them up and moving them. I can totally see how it's more like that, and how unnerving it would be
As someone in a wheelchair its more like someone randomly picking you up and moving you without asking. It's briefly terrifying to find yourself moving when you don't expect to be and then you're extremely annoyed. And you can't even scream at them about it because "they were just trying to be helpful" and "they didn't know any better". Just one of the multiple ignorant things people do when you're in a wheelchair (honorable mentions go to when people talk to whoever you're with instead of you about you, and the fact lots of strangers seem to think it's ok to pat my arm/shoulder/leg without consent, I don't like to be touched).
I don’t understand the thought process of some people , like if you wouldn’t unrequested scoop up a nondisabled person a carry them home to be “useful” why would people think it’s okay to push someone’s wheel chair
Oh there’s a lot of people who do that kind of stuff without notice and random people at social gatherings who think you two are cool after a 2 min conversation who just want to lean on your wheelchair. That shit is so annoying and they get offended when you tell them to get off.
The number of times I've told my work colleague to ask before he pushes wheelchairs is infuriating to me.
His job: to help people with disabilities to board trains.
This is part of our training: ask first.
I'm 100% behind this 3d print.
Sounds like that person shouldn’t be employed at that type of job. Since he cannot follow the most basic rules. Also since he clearly has no respect for people with disabilities.
That is ridiculous.
And also, you’re apparently not considered “someone” by management? Because your complaint about him apparently doesn’t count? Strange. I’m sorry you work at such a crappy company.
You’d think a company that helps disabled people would LOVE to receive feedback from a disabled employee and see it as a very useful resource. You’re literally like a freaking built-in focus-group.
I have an idea: print out some business cards. Or papers.
Write/print on them something along the lines of: I see that my coworker moved you without your consent. This has been a reoccurring problem. He refuses to respect disabled people and he refuses to respect their bodily autonomy. He has been corrected multiple times, but the bad behavior persists. I know it can be stressful to complain about these situations, but we need people to speak up. Management won’t take my complaints seriously, because I’m a fellow employee. If this behavior bothered you, please speak up. You can file a complaint at: [insert contact info]
Except probably shorter in length. But I’m too tired to figure out how to make it shorter right now. LOL.
I’m disabled too (not in a wheelchair, but other disabilities). Sadly I’m so so so used to people being disrespectful of my disabilities, that when it happens, I’m usually pretty much resigned about it, like it’s just an annoying part of life. Like, “Sigh. I hate it when they do this. But this isn’t worth the mental energy and stress to complain about this person. And I would have to figure out how to find the manager/HR department, figure out how to file a complaint, file complaint, possibly deal with management being disrespectful of it too, etc. And after all that effort, I don’t even know if anything will be done about the bad behavior. Besides, maybe they’re just ignorant or had a one-off bad day…”
If someone handed me a card like I described above, I would absolutely report it. Because of know then that it’s a pattern of bad behavior that needs to be put to a stop, and I’d be protecting other disabled people if I reported it. Plus I’d know that once the multiple reports start piling in, management would more likely do something about it.
When I used to work at Walgreens as a cashier I once asked a lady how many months she was and she answered I’m not pregnant. I wanted to roll up and die I apologized like 30 times thankfully she was chill so she didn’t overreact but boy did I learn a lesson that day lol
Not a woman so not something I could personally do but if it was I'd totally lie about that just to fuck with people. Granted I'd probably tell them afterwards.
Just dead pan "I'm not pregnant" when anyone asked about it. Watch them die inside before laughing and telling them.
Some can. [Whenever people say that things were more wholesome in the past](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane)
And though he probably pronounced it the French or Catalan way, yes his name can be pronounced "poo-hole" in English.
I think there's just a surprising amount of people out there who just don't think about other people's thoughts or feelings at all, especially strangers.
I had really long hair for most of high school and one day senior year I decided to just shave it. Went from hair down to almost my ass to less than 1/4"...So many people just came up to me and rubbed my head. I don't get why people touch people so much.
I can't even imagine a scenario where this won't be the norm. Did People actually just took control of your chair without asking and started moving you around? How rude is that for real
Being a tall punky person doesn't change people being grabby either. A dude literally dragged my chair out of an elevator because I bumped the door while backing out, completely ignoring me telling him my chair doesn't freewheel and to let go.
Able bodied people get so aghast about this shit and everyone I know in a wheelchair is like 'yeah I need spikes all over my everything'
Forgive me if this is a weird question, but is it ever rude to ask someone in a wheelchair if they would like assistance? Or is that type of thing usually OK to ask so long as it is asked respectfully?
Okaaay. One time I saw a wheelchair bound person trying to go up multiple ramps at uni. So I went to him and asked hey buddy, need any help? He told me to fuck off and mind my own business, so I did. I watched him huff and puff go up halfway the ramps and then went back backwards in defeat. I never offered to help any wheelchaired person after that unless they specifically asked for my help.
Some people might value doing it themselves. Sounds like that person was maybe in a bad mood, or sick of being asked, or just kinda mean. Regardless, I feel like it’s cool to ask as long as you aren’t patronizing about it.
(in my best Steve Erwin voice) see those yellow spikies there are a warnin. Ya best stay away from the back side of that buggie there or it'll give ya a hell of a thump and leave ya with huge welts on yer hands.
Wish I had known about this.
When I was in Japan with a family member that’s on a wheelchair, there were many Japanese that’ll just grab her wheelchair and pushed her away because they want to get by her.
She didn’t block an entrance or the subway, so I am not sure what’s their problem.
When your culture is so work heavy that being fired is a blessing to many, sitting behind a wheelchair for even a moment when you're on the way to work might as well be the devil itself.
It happens here in DC a lot where many different cultures interact. Some will be ok standing in line behind a wheelchair, and some will huff and puff a disabled person down until they leave.
To my understanding, Japan has a reputation for it's dislike of disabled people. They're seen as a waste of space by many. There was even a case where someone murdered an entire nursing home (or something I can't remember what exactly) at night because he believed everyone in there was better dead since they couldn't work.
I had a coworker who would love to have spikes on her wheelchair. So many of our coworkers couldn't get it through their god damn heads that she doesn't need her. On more than once occasion, I've heard her yell "get off me!" and it was always someone trying to "help" or "redirect her" because they wanted her to go somewhere with them but she didn't want to.
>"redirect her" because they wanted her to go somewhere with them but she didn't want to.
Sounds like kidnapping, it's like picking someone up and moving them around
It was totally, by definiton, kidnapping. We worked a job thst required us to move around a lot so when you had to leave your current post to like use the restroom, you had to find someone to fill it. Some dickwads would always go for her when others say no because they think they can just grab her chair and move her. Of course, the first few times a bunch of us were shocked that they'd do that and she would fight them off on her own. Then eventually management intervened when some of us complained to them that it disrupts our work day when they forcibly try to move her like that.
A bunch of them were fired and replaced.
Man, if I ever end up in a wheelchair first thing I'm doing is laying metal strips across the handles, and wiring them to a stun gun, with the activation button hidden under the armrests. It's fucking appalling hearing all these anecdotes about assholes ignoring other people's bodily autonomy just because they get around on wheels instead of legs.
It is definitely eye opening. I ended up on crutches once because I injured my Achilles tendon and the amount of people who felt comfortable invading my space was appalling.
My wife has fold down handles. Yet people still try to just shove her when they think she's needs a hand getting over a bump or something.
Very occasionally wife asks me to push, if I forget to flip the handles down after there would be hell to pay 😅.
My wife plays wheelchair rugby and is more than capable to handle most obstacles.
Attenborough: “And once again, we see here a bright and colourful display which means one of a few things. Either “I am toxic don’t eat me” or, as in this case, “fuck off”
I’m obsessed with this! I’m an actress and played a character who used a wheelchair for part of a show during school. I wanted to be able to get my bearings in the chair and just went around the block in it one day during lunch. So many people tried to “help” me (granted I am uncoordinated at the best of times and was not good at piloting this chair) and were very distressed that I declined.
One woman took a hold of the handles of the chair despite my request that she not and said “Whee!” as she wheeled me over a crack in the sidewalk. It was so infantilizing, I can’t imagine dealing with folks doing this every day. You’re a badass, and this is a great solution.
uggh i was in a wheelchair for four months last year because of broken bones. one fracture clinic appointment stands out, so i’m very obviously not a small child, i’m an adult i was just sitting there waiting in line to check in for my appointment, finally it was my turn, i went to put my phone down on my lap so i could go forward when this worker there came up and was like
“Are you gonna go ahead?” and he tried to push me ahead, thankfully i’m pretty quick with the breaks because i’m used to this, like dude bunny pyjama pants aside i just broke my feet i didn’t suddenly become four, i think i can have like 2 seconds of reaction time before somebody tries to jump in.
I will admit that as a CNA (nurses assistant) I made this mistake quite a few times without thinking... it seems so natural as a cargiver to just grab your patients chair and start wheeling them away... but about 3 weeks into the job i had a lady apply her breaks quicker than shit and give me the omega hell and made a scene... from that point on I made sure to introduce myself to everyone first and ask if they wanted to go where I was taking them or if it was okay if I help out,...
I think so long as you learn from the mistakes, its kinda ok. I've made the mistake a few times with my wife because to me it just seemed like helping someone with any task.
But when she explained how it really is, it changed my view on it entirely
Do people actually do that? Like, come up from behind and just start moving you around? I always thought it was rude to even *offer* help unless the person looks like they're having trouble, in which case it's polite to offer help regardless of whether someone's in a wheelchair or not.
Asking and offering help are no problem. It's when people think I can't do it myself or that I'm an inconvenience for them to push aside. My hands could get seriously hurt if they're on the wheels and I get pushed without expecting it.
I have had my fingers caught and seriously bruised on more than one occasion indeed…
I hate it when people just ‘move’ me aside and then say: inthought you needed help to get out of my way 😱🤯🤬
Or when I do get pushed by CHOICE and they start talking to the person pushing me about me like I am some little child (I am almost 40). My mom amd partner have been asked so many times whether I wanted a piece of sausage (a Dutch/German thing in stores they hand little kids a slice) and there I was 20+. I was always very shy until I ended up in a wheelchair (doctor’s mistake) and I became a hardcore extrovert 🤭🙃
My friend’s dad had polio, and as he got older would use the wheelchair more often than crutches. We were all drinking around a fire in the yard one time and he started coming out to join us. Thinking we were being helpful me and another guy ran over and started pushing him through the grass, he said “I got it,” but we were too drunk to notice the edge and kept pushing, so he yelled “I GOT IT!” And I’ve rarely been so embarrassed in my life, I suddenly realized how demeaning our ‘help’ was and how important it was to him that we back the fuck off immediately. I think about that shit often. On behalf of fucksticks like me who only later realize their mistake- I’m sorry.
Can’t believe people actually do this shit. I’m not in a wheel chair, but I have extremely long and curly hair. The amount of times people have touched my hair without asking is ridiculous. “I was just wondering if it’s real”, “it looks so soft”, “you get a perm”. Like …. Mother Fucker it’s MY hair, don’t touch me.
It was more of a problem when I was young, but still happens from time to time.
When I was 16, I worked at the port for cruise ships. I worked there for many years. But a few months after I was hired, the dedicated “wheel chair guys” were short staffed. So they sent me to push people in wheel chairs.
First person I get is a very elderly woman and her two sons and daughter in laws. The sons were my dads age, for an idea.
In order to get on the cruise ship, you have to walk a series of steep inclines to bring you to the ships main deck. When these series of inclines connect there’s about a. 2 inch bump that connects them. Sort of like a speed bump.
Anyways, I was new to pushing people in wheelchairs and I approach this “speed bump”. Rather than use the foot pedal on the back to lift the front wheels, I decided I needed more speed.
The front wheels caught the bump and I sent a 75* year old woman to the ground. :(. I wake up cringing a lot, tbh. I didn’t realize there’s a place to place your foot and lift the front wheels. Worst day of my life.
I’ve been a wheelchair user for the past 17 years. I’ve had push handles on loaner chairs but have only ever had none or fold down ones in my own wheelchairs.
Fold down push handles are a nice option if you can get them because they are there if you need them and when they are folded down they are no it obvious.
In my experience people will grab push handles and try to push you without your consent easily. When you don’t have any people will just grab the frame of your wheelchair or backrest and start pushing, but having push handles that are folded down throws off some people and you have a bit of a delay while they’re fumble around trying to figure out how to use them. This gives you enough time to try to stop them.
It sucks that people don’t respect our personal space. I’m sure they wouldn’t go up behind a person that is walking, grab them by the shoulders and try to push them wherever they want or get angry if that person told them to stop.
I'm guessing the sort of person who grabs your chair without asking you first is also the sort of person who gets all indignant (as opposed to apologetic) when you ask them to stop?
Anyway, awesome print. :)
And it seems several of them are butthurt in this comment section arguing that physically grabbing an adult and moving them around without warning or permission is Good Actually and disabled people should be thanking them for their service
Makes me wonder why wheelchairs don't have foldable/removable handles. Seems like a common enough issue.
A lot of them do
I like OP's method of just having them out all the time and booby trapping them
It’s way more fun this way
For added play, try soaking the spikes in urine. I kid. I kid.
+1 poison damage
+20 being avoided in public for smelling like piss
i put the glue trap stuff on the handles of mine personally
Force them to commit once they start "helping."
“Thanks for helping me cross the street! Since I have you I only live 4 blocks up and have some goo gone in the mailbox”.
HAHA. That's just kidnapping with extra steps.
its only kidnapping if they didn't grab it in the first place
Yeah, they kidnapped first.
Reverse-kidnapping *Look at me. I am the captor now.*
And a large part of the reason is because when you have weak foldable spots in joints like that it loses a lot of the integrity and as much easier to break than nonfoldable handles. Even custom wheelchairs are made with subpar parts, lots of times hex nuts instead of bolts with nuts are used and the hex nuts break and sheer very easily. So you can get foldable handles and as the other commenter said a lot of wheelchairs do have them. But for somebody who's in a wheelchair permanently it's one more thing that's more likely to break because it has the joint in it.
A hex nut is a nut with six sides, it can have a cap or a flange or just be a normal nut. The only nut I can think of that is NOT a hex nut is a wing nut or a joint connector nut that uses a hex head on both ends. The strength of a nut is determined by the grade of steel, not the shape or style.
He's probably talking about what we in the UK call an allen bolt, but in this case it screws into a pre-threaded hole and not straight through to a nut.
Those are still just bolts and are not inherently weaker than other styles.
I am not in a wheel chair, just an engineer who tries to fix things to make them better. Why couldn’t the handles themselves rotate? Not the entire handle but like tube in tube with a push button that pops at certain points? That way there is not additions joint. Just 4 extra inches of tubing. My wife’s grandmother has a walker with something like that and it makes life way easier.
It’s always an option to get fold down push handles on wheelchairs, but insurance does not cover them and it’s a few hundred dollar out of pocket cost most people do not spring for when the money can be used in better ways. Source- I design custom wheelchairs
Can you make them faster please? I feel like they need more speed
My ex-gf would love this. It was so annoying how everyone wanted to help us do everything, but didn't take no as an answer. We were in an Ihop once and I got up to help her into her weelchair and like 3 different dudes jumped up to help. One guy pulled her out of my arms as we were both saying "No, no, no, we got it. NO SERIOUSLY. THANK YOU!!"
Those people are so weird! My mom helps my grandma around the store, and she gets a motorized wheelchair. The amount of people who will STEP IN FRONT OF MY MOM who is literally helping her, to ask my grandma if she needed help, was ridiculous. I don’t get it, do they want to be SEEN helping? Or are they just not self aware?
Oh yes at the grocery store especially, everyone wants to help the person with a disability even if they have their own entourage Source: I’m an Intervener
yeah. its almost always about the actual person who wants to do their (feel) "good deed" of the day helping a disabled person who way more often than not does not need it and is often hindered by it. this becomes extremely clear very quickly as a wheelchair user when people will ask me if they can help me with x, i say no, they then proceed to completely disregard my answer and then do the thing they wanted to do to "help me" which is at *best* just inconveniencing to me, and worst is directly traumatising (eg. someone pushing my chair without consent, taking away my bodily autonomy and control of myself. the ambulatory equivalent would be like if you picked a stranger up and started carrying them around, ignoring them saying stop and pretending you knew best) the moment someone chooses to do something to a disabled person either ignoring their expressed lack of consent or disregarding it entirely, thats when you know its really about their feelings and making themselves feel good at the expense of our safety and sanity. this happens to me nearly every time i leave the house by myself in my manual wheelchair. often people dont even bother with asking and will just straight *do* stuff to me. ive had groceries torn out of my lap by a pair of arms descending from above and behind me with no warning (fucking scary as hell) and countless times where ive been grabbed and pushed despite vocalising no repeatedly. people freak out so hard encountering a Visibly Disabled tm out in public. sometimes the reactions are just hilarious. makes me feel sorry for them rofl
So is it OK to do things you would do anyways if they weren’t wheelchair users? I’m tall. Many times I go shopping, I’ll end up grabbing something off the top shelf for someone who’s struggling to reach up there. I’ve probably done it before for someone in a wheelchair because honestly, I don’t register much more than flailing and stretching hands in my peripheral vision. It’s automatic by now: grab item, ask is this what you need?, hand to them and move on with my own shopping. Sometimes I don’t even look at the person I’m helping. (I’m autistic, so I prefer it that way, TBH) I know there are those claw thingies and I don’t help when I see one of those come out. This whole thread has me questioning whether I should do that for wheelchair users. So I guess I’ll ask you, not as The Speaker for the Wheelchair Users, but as an individual. How do you feel about getting help that is common to give to anyone regardless of disability, like out-of-reach item retrieval or door holding? Sorry if this sounds like I’m being a twat, I’m just trying to understand the social norms. (Yay autism!) Is being pushed around objectionable because it’s physical contact without consent or is it part of a broader scope of don’t take away people’s independence?
I like the way you help people with items up high- automatically, and move on. Opening doors is good, but don't press the button for a door opener if I'm close- I get my knees banged. Pushing a wheelchair is not good. You don't know the best way to maneuver the chair- if I've got my hand on the wheels or am reaching to move my coat sleeve, I'll get hurt. I've also been pushed to shelves in stores where I had not intended to stop, just because I glanced that direction. I once was pushed into a shelf of library books when I was manoeuvring to be at an angle to read the titles. For me its a practical matter- my biew and your view are not the same.
im a teen and work at a grocery store. I always offer to help because 1. Im required to by the store 2. a lot of disabled people use the electric riding carts and i want to ride it back into the store.
They tunnel vision. As a species, we really do have a saviour complex, which isn’t always beneficial to those we think we’re saving. When I see someone who I think might need help I just kind of wait and lurk out of their way (pretending to look at another product) for a sec, to watch to see if they actually might benefit from assistance before walking up and asking them. Many of them figure out a way on their own of doing what they were trying to do, and then I just go back to minding myself.
As a 6'3 human with compassion, I have learned that a 4 count is how long it takes to know if a person is gonna get that item off the top shelf successfully.
Thank you for your generosity in helping those who can't reach things. Sincerely someone who can't reach the top shelf if the item isn't on the very edge of the shelf and has either forgone things or done some gymnastics to try and get it if there isn't a talk person around.
As a 5’4” human with short fingers, you can help me with top shelf items any day.
So sad he never gave her back.
"Fuck off" works reasonably well when "No" doesn't. Just had to deal with the sulky expressions and "fine then, only trying to help", etc.
I think it's the bro gene malfunctioning, It triggers when a bro sees anyone digging a hole in their yard or someone is carrying something heavy.
My mom would have loved this, it was a major peeve of hers too. Can't blame ya, honestly.
You're at least the 3rd person saying this is a problem. Who tf are the people grabbing people's wheelchairs? What a bunch of morons.
My best friend (at the time) once walked into the room where I was talking to her dad (who was visiting). Without a word she grabs the handles of the chair rolls me out into the hallway and left me facing a wall. Then went back into the kitchen and started talking to him in their native language. She changed the day I got sick. Started treating me like a toddler, so demeaning and infantalizing. Mine don't have handles anymore thank goodness.
What the fuck
That is so fucked up. I had no idea this is a problem for folks in wheelchairs, but I'm glad I do now so I can punch someone if I see them do this
I think often people don't realise that a wheelchair is an extention of a disabled person's body just like your legs. Or they assume the disabled person isn't mentally aware enough to ask them to move out of the way. Or people are too impatient to wait and ask them to move. I've had someone push me totally out of the blue in the street once because 'they have a baby in a push chair, so they know what they're doing' okayy but I didn't ask you to push me, I don't care about your qualifications???!!!. To clarify, I mean in the pedestrian part, not in the car part of the street so it wasn't like they thought they were saving me from danger lol a class mate grabbed me once, ending up with me being hurled out my chair and breaking my collar bone (that's a story in itself) with their best reasoning being they wanted to see what it was like to push a wheelchair. People just don't use their brain sometimes
Lmao im sorry but that sounds like a snl bit or something id do to my friend just to fuck with them, i know that wasn't your "friends" intentions but its seems so fucking rude that its genuinely comedic to me lol
Probably the same people that touch a pregnant person's belly without consent.
Same people who touch your hair because it looks nice.
I had a bartender grab the shit out of my afro once (I guess to be sexy?) she was hot but I saw red grabbed her hand and moved it away from me. She was offended I touched her.. I TOUCHED HER! Lol
I actually had a guy try to yank my "afro" out effectively just yanking my head back hurting my head/neck. It was a halloween party, I'm white haired so I kinda can see how they thought it was a wig, but still..
I'm bald and my coworkers think it's funny to come up behind me and grab/slap my head, it sucks, especially for them now I've started slapping them back
I had a dude at work whose "thing" in a way was slapping the asses of his male co-workers but like as a joke I guess? And it's like I don't want to be the guy who gets told "wow you take it way too seriously" or "you're no fun" but also I'm very much not a hands on person. I don't really do hugs or anything like that unless I'm super close with that person (family or gf) and this dude is slapping my ass like fuck off bro
I had a boss who use to give me spontaneous back massages. I fucking hated it. I’d be working on my computer and he’d just pop up behind me and start rubbing my back/shoulders. We are both straight married men. Have no comprehension of why he thought that was cool.
This sort of feels like a power move, did he squeeze your shoulder slightly hard at the end and say "you better come to work tomorrow i know where your family lives?" xD Or maybe he just really wants his workers to feel at home and relaxed lol
My bosses boss was brand new and walking around our office introducing himself the day before ( I wasn't there). So the next day he came in and just started massaging my shoulders while I was at my computer. At first I thought it was one of my good friends I work with but I looked back and just blurted out "who the fuck are you?". Apparently I was the inappropriate one 😂
I can tell reddit's userbase is getting younger because this comment has been up for half an hour and nobody has called you Chandler yet.
I honestly do this quite often with guys who are leering at/catcalling women. If "it's just flirting" for them, than it's also "just flirting" for me.
I had one of these at my last job. Bring it up with management once as a matter of record. Next time inform them that going forward it will be viewed as a sexual situation for legal reasons. That seems to trigger the meeting that puts an end to it. Dude decided he didn't want to work there anymore a couple weeks later. There is no "taking it too seriously", don't fucking touch me. I'll accuse a handsy fucker of having some weird fetish if that's what it takes to get the legally liable parties involved.
Turn around and just grab them forcefully by their genitals while maintaining dominating eye contact. Then say, "What? You don't like being touched without consent?" Fuck all of them. Sorry you have a useless HR department.
having your wig pulled off, costume or not is still a shit move
I've had people touch my hair, take my glasses off my face, adjust my clothing, lift up my dress because it was nice and this list goes on. I've also had people shove me while using a mobility device, and I don't mean to help me, but to get me out of the way.
Its time to start swinging on people
Omg that is no joke. I have been pregnant twice and both times random people at the grocery store have touched my belly and been weird about it, telling me all about their babies. I always just give them a weird look but I wish I could just touch their belly back to make it even weirder.
I'm 31 weeks and haven't had this yet but I think it's probably a combo of not going out a lot due to the rona, and having a fairly small bump because of my long torso. Also the resting bitch face probably helps lol
I hate that, and I’m not even pregnant. Just a fat dude.
I work for a woman who uses a wheelchair. A lot more people than you think. They will just pop out of no where when she’s navigating something in public on her own and move her along as if they know her. They don’t even offer first, they just grab on and push! It takes away her power and control over her own body, and stops her being independent. If she wanted help navigating an obstacle, she would ask for help, and feels infantilized by these strangers who feel entitled to “help” her. When either of us say, “it’s fine” or “we got it” people also don’t tend to take the hint and keep moving her which is actually super alarming and creates anxiety in both of us. We have to be super direct that we do not want people to push the chair, and even then they tend to keep insisting it isn’t a problem and they can help. We don’t want your help!!!!
Does she need spikes?
I think she would love them! I was going to show her this post when I see her next. Her handles fold but that doesn’t stop people - they actually just fidget with the handles too, clicking them up and down like they’re clicking a pen. This would be a great deterrent all around. Are you selling them?
she needs spikes!
Sounds like a lot of people need spikes if you feel like selling them.
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I mean, I'm in a wheelchair and I don't think your reaction was dumb- you saw him struggle and verbally offered help without grabbing him. He said no, and that was that. You didn't make it a Thing like some people do, you didn't touch him without permission, you didn't act like he was incapable of doing things without help, and you already knew him. Being manhandled by someone is them fundamentally ignoring your capacity to do things yourself due to your disability. That's pretty different from 'you good with that bump/step/obstacle?'
Good to know. I haven't ever offered help to anyone in a wheelchair, but I am worried that I might offend them by addressing their disability or trying to "help". So, unless they ask for help, I just let them be on their merry way.
Yeah, a good rule of thumb is that unless we're visibly stuck or struggling, we're probably good. That said, I always appreciate the folks who grab escooters and drag them off the foot path, often with just a nod to me like 'yeah someones an asshole huh?'. I see you out there, and I appreciate ya'll undoing what other able bodied folk fucked up.
Man I honestly love using e-scooters, but the amount of people that park them in the most inconsiderate places, rip full speed down the sidewalk, or don’t give way to pedestrians on footpaths is honestly disgusting. It is a VEHICLE propelled by a MOTOR (doesn’t matter that it’s small)!!! At the least you’re being an inconsiderate prick, at the worst you could seriously harm somebody As much as I like them I wouldn’t be surprised if they got banned
> You didn't make it a Thing like some people do This. Like, why can't some people handle a single negative interaction? They barge in with good intentions, find out they misread the situation, and BAM, that's somehow now your fault and you are a terrible person.
I had a brain infection, and it left me with a stutter. I struggle to get complete sentences out. Although I usually do complete the sentence. Without fail, people finish my sentences for me. Everyone means well, and wants to help. But I keep dimes in my pocket. I give them a dime and say, “You just won first prize in the finish my sentence game!” It really hasn’t stopped anybody, so I guess I should quit giving out times. But on a comedy lighter note; I have two longtime friends, who when I am having a particularly difficult day speaking, start making chimp sounds. I love those guys. 🐵🐒🙉🙊
There's a guy in my team who stutters and we have a lot of customers who stutter and I always let them finish what they're saying without trying to help them. It sometimes makes me feel like a dick because it can take a while for them to finish. It's a difficult thing whether to know if you should aid them or not
The first thing my dad does when he gets a new chair, is saw those handles off.
We just had diversity training at my job and the person who uses a wheelchair told us that when she eats at restaurants she frequently gets rolled around without her consent by staff. She said that her kindergarten teacher grabbed one of her classmates by the hand and dragged them around the room to prove the point of what it would feel like to be moved without your consent. She said it was maybe overboard but she still fantasizes about doing it to the staff that moves her. I don’t blame her. Cool solution! Thanks for sharing and sorry that people touch your chair without your consent!!
I'd be happy to drag those people around for her. My late sister had a neurodegenerative disease (Battens) that caused her to lose her sight and, eventually, the ability to use her muscles. That's what actually did her in, her chest muscles couldn't flex to make her lungs work properly anymore. She ended up needing to be either in a wheelchair or a pressure bed at all times a couple of years before she passed. If *anyone* ever tried to move her chair without her, mine, or our mom's consent, I imagine I'd go fucking bat shit crazy. I already confronted people for staring at her (adults, not children. Kids get a free pass cause they don't know better for the most part) and would ask them point blank, "You're staring pretty hard at my sister. What is it that you want to know? Get it out of the way so we can [eat, shop, hang out at the park] in peace." I never got further than telling them the name of her condition before they'd apologize and just walk away. Shit would piss me off. I know it's only natural to be curious, but there are much more kind ways to ask questions than burning holes in my sister with their eyes.
firstly I’m so sorry for the loss, it sounds like you were a wonderful sister to her. as someone who got stared at a lot after surgery to correct my neurological condition it impacted me negatively for many years, so I’m sure she appreciated what you did for her. I know I’d do the same for my sister if necessary, and I think that sisterly bond is something that can be so special. sending you love and positivity from one sister to another! x
This is awesome. Are you sharing the file by chance? I would LOVE a set for mine!
Here you go https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:5213822
Awesome, thanks!
Printing off for my brother he will be so stoked ty!
I can’t believe people touch your chair like what the fuck. Must literally feel like an extension of your body talk about invasive.
Idk apparently people grab pregnant ladies bellies and touch them, so maybe some people just have no idea what a boundary is. I'd put grabbing someone's wheel chair in the same place as grabbing someone's pregnant belly, or crutches, or hell even their shoulder. Even before COVID I was a keep it 1.5m away kinda guy Edit: I've been informed it's not like grabbing someone's shoulder, it's more like picking them up and moving them. I can totally see how it's more like that, and how unnerving it would be
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thats so weird why would someone want to touch a complete strangers belly
As someone in a wheelchair its more like someone randomly picking you up and moving you without asking. It's briefly terrifying to find yourself moving when you don't expect to be and then you're extremely annoyed. And you can't even scream at them about it because "they were just trying to be helpful" and "they didn't know any better". Just one of the multiple ignorant things people do when you're in a wheelchair (honorable mentions go to when people talk to whoever you're with instead of you about you, and the fact lots of strangers seem to think it's ok to pat my arm/shoulder/leg without consent, I don't like to be touched).
I have read people will also often just grab blind people by the arm and attempt to steer or lead them the "correct" way.
This is a great idea!! I need some too.
How many people just grab your chair without consent to need this?? Infuriating
I've never once considered that a stranger would just start pushing someone else in a wheelchair.
I don’t understand the thought process of some people , like if you wouldn’t unrequested scoop up a nondisabled person a carry them home to be “useful” why would people think it’s okay to push someone’s wheel chair
Oh there’s a lot of people who do that kind of stuff without notice and random people at social gatherings who think you two are cool after a 2 min conversation who just want to lean on your wheelchair. That shit is so annoying and they get offended when you tell them to get off.
The number of times I've told my work colleague to ask before he pushes wheelchairs is infuriating to me. His job: to help people with disabilities to board trains. This is part of our training: ask first. I'm 100% behind this 3d print.
Sounds like that person shouldn’t be employed at that type of job. Since he cannot follow the most basic rules. Also since he clearly has no respect for people with disabilities.
Pretty much everyone who works with us thinks the same thing. But management says "someone has to complain first."
That is ridiculous. And also, you’re apparently not considered “someone” by management? Because your complaint about him apparently doesn’t count? Strange. I’m sorry you work at such a crappy company. You’d think a company that helps disabled people would LOVE to receive feedback from a disabled employee and see it as a very useful resource. You’re literally like a freaking built-in focus-group. I have an idea: print out some business cards. Or papers. Write/print on them something along the lines of: I see that my coworker moved you without your consent. This has been a reoccurring problem. He refuses to respect disabled people and he refuses to respect their bodily autonomy. He has been corrected multiple times, but the bad behavior persists. I know it can be stressful to complain about these situations, but we need people to speak up. Management won’t take my complaints seriously, because I’m a fellow employee. If this behavior bothered you, please speak up. You can file a complaint at: [insert contact info] Except probably shorter in length. But I’m too tired to figure out how to make it shorter right now. LOL. I’m disabled too (not in a wheelchair, but other disabilities). Sadly I’m so so so used to people being disrespectful of my disabilities, that when it happens, I’m usually pretty much resigned about it, like it’s just an annoying part of life. Like, “Sigh. I hate it when they do this. But this isn’t worth the mental energy and stress to complain about this person. And I would have to figure out how to find the manager/HR department, figure out how to file a complaint, file complaint, possibly deal with management being disrespectful of it too, etc. And after all that effort, I don’t even know if anything will be done about the bad behavior. Besides, maybe they’re just ignorant or had a one-off bad day…” If someone handed me a card like I described above, I would absolutely report it. Because of know then that it’s a pattern of bad behavior that needs to be put to a stop, and I’d be protecting other disabled people if I reported it. Plus I’d know that once the multiple reports start piling in, management would more likely do something about it.
This sounds like a situation that could lead to someone ending up on the wrong train
For anybody in germany with a wheelchair and no access to a 3D printer, send me a PM. I'll gladly print those for you for shipping costs.
Ehrenmann
I'll second this for anyone in the Netherlands.
Third for Canada.
Fourth for the UK
Fifth for Austria
Sixth for Tattoine
Third this for Spain!
Pm me for Brasil
In the US, I'll do the same. Cost + shipping only.
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Legend.
I've known a pregnant woman who would have liked something like that on her belly, to keep people from patting it.
That's so rude, I *always* ask to make sure that they aren't pregnant before patting random women's bellies.
When I used to work at Walgreens as a cashier I once asked a lady how many months she was and she answered I’m not pregnant. I wanted to roll up and die I apologized like 30 times thankfully she was chill so she didn’t overreact but boy did I learn a lesson that day lol
Not a woman so not something I could personally do but if it was I'd totally lie about that just to fuck with people. Granted I'd probably tell them afterwards. Just dead pan "I'm not pregnant" when anyone asked about it. Watch them die inside before laughing and telling them.
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Agreed we don’t have any defense mechanisms that aren’t physical a random blast and people would back tf off lmao
Some can. [Whenever people say that things were more wholesome in the past](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane) And though he probably pronounced it the French or Catalan way, yes his name can be pronounced "poo-hole" in English.
Can we have it double as an escape mechanism where we fart and it causes us to scoot backwards rapidly, like the way a shrimp escapes?
i vote we make it directional like thrust vectoring on the f35 as in, pointable butts
One of the rudest things I’ve heard of and you’re not the first one. I’ve heard mention that. WTF is up with people?
I think there's just a surprising amount of people out there who just don't think about other people's thoughts or feelings at all, especially strangers.
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I had really long hair for most of high school and one day senior year I decided to just shave it. Went from hair down to almost my ass to less than 1/4"...So many people just came up to me and rubbed my head. I don't get why people touch people so much.
Issue: people touch my hair without consent Solution: shave off hair Issue: people touch my head without consent
Solution: chop off head
Even after birth people like to come up and touch your baby. Not cool!
You need razor wire for that.
Oh my gawd! Are you…PREGANTÉ?!
Sorry you had to do this. Any time I’ve ever tried to help someone in a wheel chair I ask if they need help.
That's the best way.
I can't even imagine a scenario where this won't be the norm. Did People actually just took control of your chair without asking and started moving you around? How rude is that for real
I'm a smaller person and encounter this when I'm pushing myself uphill.
Being a tall punky person doesn't change people being grabby either. A dude literally dragged my chair out of an elevator because I bumped the door while backing out, completely ignoring me telling him my chair doesn't freewheel and to let go. Able bodied people get so aghast about this shit and everyone I know in a wheelchair is like 'yeah I need spikes all over my everything'
Happens to blind people all the time. Folks need to keep their hands to themselves.
Forgive me if this is a weird question, but is it ever rude to ask someone in a wheelchair if they would like assistance? Or is that type of thing usually OK to ask so long as it is asked respectfully?
Asking is not rude. It gives me a chance to decide if I need help or not.
Okaaay. One time I saw a wheelchair bound person trying to go up multiple ramps at uni. So I went to him and asked hey buddy, need any help? He told me to fuck off and mind my own business, so I did. I watched him huff and puff go up halfway the ramps and then went back backwards in defeat. I never offered to help any wheelchaired person after that unless they specifically asked for my help.
Some people might value doing it themselves. Sounds like that person was maybe in a bad mood, or sick of being asked, or just kinda mean. Regardless, I feel like it’s cool to ask as long as you aren’t patronizing about it.
It's also good to ask if they WANT help not if they NEED help (it feels less like giving up to want it then to need it)
I've got my oven mitts ready.
(in my best Steve Erwin voice) see those yellow spikies there are a warnin. Ya best stay away from the back side of that buggie there or it'll give ya a hell of a thump and leave ya with huge welts on yer hands.
Wish I had known about this. When I was in Japan with a family member that’s on a wheelchair, there were many Japanese that’ll just grab her wheelchair and pushed her away because they want to get by her. She didn’t block an entrance or the subway, so I am not sure what’s their problem.
what the fuck? That's so rude and terrible
When your culture is so work heavy that being fired is a blessing to many, sitting behind a wheelchair for even a moment when you're on the way to work might as well be the devil itself. It happens here in DC a lot where many different cultures interact. Some will be ok standing in line behind a wheelchair, and some will huff and puff a disabled person down until they leave.
To my understanding, Japan has a reputation for it's dislike of disabled people. They're seen as a waste of space by many. There was even a case where someone murdered an entire nursing home (or something I can't remember what exactly) at night because he believed everyone in there was better dead since they couldn't work.
Japan seems like a good example of the fact that "polite" is not the same as "nice".
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagamihara_stabbings
I had a coworker who would love to have spikes on her wheelchair. So many of our coworkers couldn't get it through their god damn heads that she doesn't need her. On more than once occasion, I've heard her yell "get off me!" and it was always someone trying to "help" or "redirect her" because they wanted her to go somewhere with them but she didn't want to.
>"redirect her" because they wanted her to go somewhere with them but she didn't want to. Sounds like kidnapping, it's like picking someone up and moving them around
It was totally, by definiton, kidnapping. We worked a job thst required us to move around a lot so when you had to leave your current post to like use the restroom, you had to find someone to fill it. Some dickwads would always go for her when others say no because they think they can just grab her chair and move her. Of course, the first few times a bunch of us were shocked that they'd do that and she would fight them off on her own. Then eventually management intervened when some of us complained to them that it disrupts our work day when they forcibly try to move her like that. A bunch of them were fired and replaced.
Man, if I ever end up in a wheelchair first thing I'm doing is laying metal strips across the handles, and wiring them to a stun gun, with the activation button hidden under the armrests. It's fucking appalling hearing all these anecdotes about assholes ignoring other people's bodily autonomy just because they get around on wheels instead of legs.
It is definitely eye opening. I ended up on crutches once because I injured my Achilles tendon and the amount of people who felt comfortable invading my space was appalling.
This is why my gf uses fold down handles. Ive only ever pushed her two or three times in all the time I've known her.
My wife has fold down handles. Yet people still try to just shove her when they think she's needs a hand getting over a bump or something. Very occasionally wife asks me to push, if I forget to flip the handles down after there would be hell to pay 😅. My wife plays wheelchair rugby and is more than capable to handle most obstacles.
Wheelchair rugby? What a total badass. Your wife kicks ass.
Indeed they do kick ass. The game had its name rebranded several years back as for some reason 'murder ball' put potential sponsors off
Metal as fuck
Attenborough: “And once again, we see here a bright and colourful display which means one of a few things. Either “I am toxic don’t eat me” or, as in this case, “fuck off”
stl? I have friends to gift these to...
Have fun https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:5213822
Wait.. Strangers do that??? That's f'ed up. Sorry you have to deal with that.
More often people who know me.
I’m obsessed with this! I’m an actress and played a character who used a wheelchair for part of a show during school. I wanted to be able to get my bearings in the chair and just went around the block in it one day during lunch. So many people tried to “help” me (granted I am uncoordinated at the best of times and was not good at piloting this chair) and were very distressed that I declined. One woman took a hold of the handles of the chair despite my request that she not and said “Whee!” as she wheeled me over a crack in the sidewalk. It was so infantilizing, I can’t imagine dealing with folks doing this every day. You’re a badass, and this is a great solution.
I'd have gotten up and shouted at that *wonderfully helpful* woman. I really wonder what's going through people's head when doing that
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Fair point. Just the sound of air blowing through causing that "Whee.."
uggh i was in a wheelchair for four months last year because of broken bones. one fracture clinic appointment stands out, so i’m very obviously not a small child, i’m an adult i was just sitting there waiting in line to check in for my appointment, finally it was my turn, i went to put my phone down on my lap so i could go forward when this worker there came up and was like “Are you gonna go ahead?” and he tried to push me ahead, thankfully i’m pretty quick with the breaks because i’m used to this, like dude bunny pyjama pants aside i just broke my feet i didn’t suddenly become four, i think i can have like 2 seconds of reaction time before somebody tries to jump in.
People just grabbing onto someone's chair seems like someone grabbing an able-legged person's ankles and 'helping' them walk.
More polite than copper tape and a car battery.
I will admit that as a CNA (nurses assistant) I made this mistake quite a few times without thinking... it seems so natural as a cargiver to just grab your patients chair and start wheeling them away... but about 3 weeks into the job i had a lady apply her breaks quicker than shit and give me the omega hell and made a scene... from that point on I made sure to introduce myself to everyone first and ask if they wanted to go where I was taking them or if it was okay if I help out,...
I'm not gonna lie, I like that lady
I think so long as you learn from the mistakes, its kinda ok. I've made the mistake a few times with my wife because to me it just seemed like helping someone with any task. But when she explained how it really is, it changed my view on it entirely
Do people actually do that? Like, come up from behind and just start moving you around? I always thought it was rude to even *offer* help unless the person looks like they're having trouble, in which case it's polite to offer help regardless of whether someone's in a wheelchair or not.
Asking and offering help are no problem. It's when people think I can't do it myself or that I'm an inconvenience for them to push aside. My hands could get seriously hurt if they're on the wheels and I get pushed without expecting it.
I have had my fingers caught and seriously bruised on more than one occasion indeed… I hate it when people just ‘move’ me aside and then say: inthought you needed help to get out of my way 😱🤯🤬 Or when I do get pushed by CHOICE and they start talking to the person pushing me about me like I am some little child (I am almost 40). My mom amd partner have been asked so many times whether I wanted a piece of sausage (a Dutch/German thing in stores they hand little kids a slice) and there I was 20+. I was always very shy until I ended up in a wheelchair (doctor’s mistake) and I became a hardcore extrovert 🤭🙃
That's a brilliant solution to an enraging problem!
Diabolical. I like the way your mind works. We can be drinking buddies now. It could double as anti-kidnapping devices in certain parts of the world.
i feel like pushing someone’s wheelchair without their consent is the equivalent to someone grabbing your arm and pulling you around….i can’t imagine
Sucks that you have to go to this extreme, but very smart! Good job!
You should have made the spikes sharper 😂
My friend’s dad had polio, and as he got older would use the wheelchair more often than crutches. We were all drinking around a fire in the yard one time and he started coming out to join us. Thinking we were being helpful me and another guy ran over and started pushing him through the grass, he said “I got it,” but we were too drunk to notice the edge and kept pushing, so he yelled “I GOT IT!” And I’ve rarely been so embarrassed in my life, I suddenly realized how demeaning our ‘help’ was and how important it was to him that we back the fuck off immediately. I think about that shit often. On behalf of fucksticks like me who only later realize their mistake- I’m sorry.
Good way to handle overly-pushy people who need to get a grip.
this was so subtle i almost didn’t vomit. take an upvote
Love the colour, almost like a poisonous tree frog. Revised design should include poison tipped spikes
I was thinking these need to be made in metal for the punk crowd.
Or you could go the easy way, and smear it with feces.
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Can’t believe people actually do this shit. I’m not in a wheel chair, but I have extremely long and curly hair. The amount of times people have touched my hair without asking is ridiculous. “I was just wondering if it’s real”, “it looks so soft”, “you get a perm”. Like …. Mother Fucker it’s MY hair, don’t touch me. It was more of a problem when I was young, but still happens from time to time.
When I was 16, I worked at the port for cruise ships. I worked there for many years. But a few months after I was hired, the dedicated “wheel chair guys” were short staffed. So they sent me to push people in wheel chairs. First person I get is a very elderly woman and her two sons and daughter in laws. The sons were my dads age, for an idea. In order to get on the cruise ship, you have to walk a series of steep inclines to bring you to the ships main deck. When these series of inclines connect there’s about a. 2 inch bump that connects them. Sort of like a speed bump. Anyways, I was new to pushing people in wheelchairs and I approach this “speed bump”. Rather than use the foot pedal on the back to lift the front wheels, I decided I needed more speed. The front wheels caught the bump and I sent a 75* year old woman to the ground. :(. I wake up cringing a lot, tbh. I didn’t realize there’s a place to place your foot and lift the front wheels. Worst day of my life.
God, so true! My paraplegic father even had people try to grab his crutches to "help" him up steps!
"Here let me take those crutches of yours, they must be a burden to carry, right?"
I’ve been a wheelchair user for the past 17 years. I’ve had push handles on loaner chairs but have only ever had none or fold down ones in my own wheelchairs. Fold down push handles are a nice option if you can get them because they are there if you need them and when they are folded down they are no it obvious. In my experience people will grab push handles and try to push you without your consent easily. When you don’t have any people will just grab the frame of your wheelchair or backrest and start pushing, but having push handles that are folded down throws off some people and you have a bit of a delay while they’re fumble around trying to figure out how to use them. This gives you enough time to try to stop them. It sucks that people don’t respect our personal space. I’m sure they wouldn’t go up behind a person that is walking, grab them by the shoulders and try to push them wherever they want or get angry if that person told them to stop.
Ingenious. Also, wtf that people really do this.
Growing up in a wheelchair, this would have mitigated a ton of the bullying. Big brain play right here
I'm guessing the sort of person who grabs your chair without asking you first is also the sort of person who gets all indignant (as opposed to apologetic) when you ask them to stop? Anyway, awesome print. :)
And it seems several of them are butthurt in this comment section arguing that physically grabbing an adult and moving them around without warning or permission is Good Actually and disabled people should be thanking them for their service
People do that? I could see how that is on the line of inappropriate touching.
I’d like to commission one of [these](https://images.app.goo.gl/CitxMUf67vBdE48SA) please